Does my aquarius ex just want to be friends?

We broke up on VERY good terms. He broke it off, was expecting me to be very angry and emotional and was visibly relieved when I told him I knew it was coming and I understood where it was coming from and wasn't angry at all, even though of course I was sad it had come to this. I told him all I want is for him to be happy, and if he's not happy with me I'm not going to fight for him to stay (and I meant every word - I love how independant he is and I can't bear to see him unhappy).

It's been three weeks since then. We work together and see each other almost every weekday.

Week 1 was a little rocky. I was incredibly sad about the breakup, but I don't want him to have to see that, so I kept my distance a little more than I wish I had in hindsight. I gave him a couple of little presents, and he came back to me in person to thank me for them. He invited me to see his band play on Friday night, and at the gig I slipped up and kissed him goodbye (on his neck while giving him a goodbye hug). I apologised and he said it was fine and not to worry about it.

Week 2 was really great. By Friday, we were basically back to the same sort of flirty friendship we were before we took things further. In particular, at one point he came into my department, and was teasing me by following me around and standing really close to me and just grinning at me when I'd ask what was up. He was definitely already friendly with me in a different way than with everyone else at work (including one girl he had a ONS with before I started pursuing him).

But then on Saturday everything kind of fell apart. A mutual friend was playing a gig, and I'd invited a male (non-mutual) friend of mine to come with me. I wasn't sure if my aqua would be there or not. And... he was. With another girl. Which I actually didn't care about, except it made me worry I was ruining his night. Originally I was going to introduce my friend to aqua and his friends, but instead, after our mutual friend's band finished playing, I decided to just say hi/bye to aqua and then leave. And... not only was he not happy about me going up to him, but I also accidentally kissed him again. He was (totally understandably annoyed) and walked away from me and I immediately left with the friend I'd brought and went home.

I figured I'd screwed up beyond repair by this point, so I started accepting the breakup and the possibility that he might not even want to be friends anymore. And, coincidentally got sick and needed a week off work. It seemed perfect: I could focus on moving on, and he would have a week without me around making him uncomfortable.

.... except then, week 3 was:

Monday: he messaged me (asking a question about the gift I gave him earlier)

Tuesday: he invited me to another two of his gigs through Facebook (and I checked - he actively invited me, he didn't mass-invite FB friends or coworkers)

Friday: messaged me on his work break to tell me some personal news he just got.

All completely unprompted by me, and totally unexpected!

... so my overall question is... is this what an aqua looks like when he's still got feelings? Is there hope he could want me back?

Or is this how aqua's are when they just want to be friends?

A lot of advice for getting exes back is too no contact ignore them... but I worry that my aqua would be hurt by that, and see it as a betrayal. Am I wrong to hope that he'll still miss the 'relationship' things we did if I am nice and friendly but more withdrawn socially? I'd honestly rather be hurt myself than risk hurting him, and no contact just seems so mean when he already clearly wants to stay in touch 😢

(Also, just as a note, the two times I've crossed his boundaries by kissing him are HUGELY out of character for me. Normally respecting his space comes super easily to me, and was one of the things he liked about me. I was always telling him not to worry about taking time to reply to messages, and every single time he asked for space I respected it and let him come back to me when he was ready. I know how important boundaries are to aquas (and this boy especially), and I don't want to give the impression that I normally ignore them. I've already decided I need to take a break from gigs for a little while, since that seems to be the setting where I keep slipping up.)

Thank you for reading so many words and for any advice you can give me

Never ignore him every time he reach out and see where it goes.

Well today I saw him at work and he came over to me over and over again to talk to me (easily 20 times over maybe 3 hours), and was super over-the-top excited when I grabbed him a free donut, and really thankful when I shared a coke with him (whereas when he's being distant he won't accept stuff from me at all).

But he also told me about his favourite bar being reopened tonight, and didn't invite me along even though we finished work at the same time...

Plus I told him about how I installed Tindr (and he seemed put off/grumpy) but that it really wasn't for me and the first guy I talked to was weird and so I uninstalled it (and he seemed relieved, I think?)

I messaged him when I got home (just a link to a twitter post about foxes), and got a reply back almost immediately, which wqs really nice (especially since he was probably at the bar with friends!)

I'm hoping that 1. he just wants to take things extra slowly at first, and work is a safe place to hang out without being a commitment and 2. he doesn't get TOO angry/jealous about the Tindr thing.... I wasn't telling him to make him jealous, and wouldn't have even brought it up if I hadn't already deleted it!

I really wish I knew how he's feeling about everything, because for me this seems like things are moving really fast back to us being an item, but I'm scared I am just totally misreading him being friendly :/

What I’ve done with my aqua ex is pretty much treat him like a friend. No expectations and no drama. I’ll still flirt with him and do things I know will make him happy. I keep him updated on what I’m doing via Snapchat so he can see I’m not dating around. He’s done the same for me I realized, but I don’t check his fb and instagram much. I think this helps build trust in the relationship. So my advice is to try to build trust while keeping it casual.

How long have you been doing things for, and are you happy just being friends or do you hope for more eventually? I'm mostly worried that I'm wrong about thinking friendship is the way to potentially rekindle things when all non-aqua dating advice I see is "the ONLY way to get back an ex is to go no contact ASAP!"

I just don't want to ruin my chance if I actually have one :/

You said he broke up with you. How long had you been dating with him before that and what was the reason of ending it? You don't seem to know him too well, so I assume it was not for long.

We knew each other for four months, then dated for two, and the break up was almost one month ago now. So I've known him around 7 months total. I don't feel like I don't know him well, but I am trying to summarise things as much as possible for brevity. And I guess I don't l know him well enough to know how to read him after a breakup - with his two previous exes I know he totally cut contact except for giving them closure, but I also know he has exes he ended on better terms with that he still hangs out with occasionally.

The reason he gave me for the break up was that we moved too fast and he just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. But what preceded that was a bit of a mess:

He misread me doing something as being super clingy (I wasn't at all, it was 100% in his head), then misread me as being angry at him over it, then misread me as trying to passive-aggressively bully him into spending time with me. Meanwhile, I am the least clingy person I know, had no idea he thought I was mad, and would never be passive agressive about anything (I'm a taurus, I'm plenty blunt about my emotions). He spent two days stewing over everything, then agreed to talk to me. I saw the breakup coming (having finally realised HOW he'd misread things and why he was acting so weird), and basically just said I understood but wanted to clear up the misunderstandings. He went from being sullen and defensive (because he thought I was going to be super angry/emotional about the breakup) to being relieved and cheerful and telling me how great and special I am.

Classical story, you can ready many similar ones here. Aquas that believe they know everything, jump to conclusions in an instant, then changing their minds after some reflection. Anyway, take his words for granted. He is not ready for a relationship, but he still likes you. He got scared probably because he imagined a previous pattern (the clinginess, the super emotions, perhaps) and he doesn't want to relive that.

Continue to be yourselves. As long as he is still around you, it's good, but it won't reverse to what it was before. Not too soon, because he feels some guilt about misjudging you. That's my guess.

His ex before me used to yell at him and accuse him of being 'abusive' for not replying to 60+ messages and 30+ snapchats promptly and in depth every single day... so yeah, he was probably having flashbacks. I still can't help but laugh a little, because in the 6 months he's known me (both as a friend and while dating) I not only always gave him all the space he could want (including one 2 week gap of no contact at all), but I always reassured him I was 100% okay with it and he didn't ever need to apologise for eg. not replying 'fast enough' to texts. I was really enjoying having a not-needy boyfriend for once!

To be fair to him, though, I WAS a complete idiot for not realizing how he'd misread me sooner. He caught me crying (over something unrelated to him), and I said "I thought you weren't coming back", and I MEANT "so I thought I was crying in private and you wouldn't have to see it" but obviously he read it as "and that made me so sad I started crying". So we definitely talk on different wavelengths sometimes :/

Again, I definitely don't mind being patient (I love being his friend, so it's not like I mind how things are right now THAT much). I just want to make sure I'm not unintentionally making him LESS likely to take me back, by doing something wrong. Like, for example, a lot of generic dating advice says to go no contact so men have a 'chance to miss you', but I feel like with an aqua that would backfire and become a 'chance for him to forget I exist' and so I want to ignore the generic advice, but it's a bit scary seeing so much writing saying "being friendly to your ex guarantees he'll never come back!"

The no contact rule is stupid and I haven't heard about not even a case in which it worked. No contact means simply "no interest". Because Aquas are not manipulative and they don't really understand the use of manipulation as applied to relationships of any kind. They are witty, but with a low emotional intelligence in general, therefore they are very direct about what they want, even though they may not get it. They won't play with you and they don't like to be played. Simple as that.

I'm also really uncomfortable with the idea of manipulating someone, and also hate mindgames, which is why I've been friendly with my ex since the breakup and never ignored him.

I guess I just need to ignore what the generic advice is/what people say works, and focus on doing what feels right to me. I was just starting to feel really stupid, because the no contact/mindgames thing is so prevalent and everything I reas acted like being friends was guaranteed to make him NOT want to rekindle things even if he otherwise would.

It's honestly a relief to hear that other people think it's as manipulative/stupid as I thought it was. I feel a lot more comfortable just letting things develop now that I've got some reassurance I'm not crazy for not wanting to play games 🙂

Posted by TheBullAndTheScorpion
How long have you been doing things for, and are you happy just being friends or do you hope for more eventually? I'm mostly worried that I'm wrong about thinking friendship is the way to potentially rekindle things when all non-aqua dating advice I see is "the ONLY way to get back an ex is to go no contact ASAP!"

I just don't want to ruin my chance if I actually have one :/

I’m happy being just friends. He is so focused on owning businesses and doing what he loves. I understand his priorities and support his goals. Would I love more with him? Absolutely. But I don’t expect more for awhile if ever. Maybe in the summer if he decides to work less since it’s boating season. I tried no contact with him actually but probably not the right way. So it was effective in restarting a friendship but not getting him back. If I were to ever do no contact again, I’d take social media out of the equation. But I think it’s better to continue building your relationship with him if that’s what you’ve already started to do.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by TheBullAndTheScorpion
How long have you been doing things for, and are you happy just being friends or do you hope for more eventually? I'm mostly worried that I'm wrong about thinking friendship is the way to potentially rekindle things when all non-aqua dating advice I see is "the ONLY way to get back an ex is to go no contact ASAP!"

I just don't want to ruin my chance if I actually have one :/

I’m happy being just friends. He is so focused on owning businesses and doing what he loves. I understand his priorities and support his goals. Would I love more with him? Absolutely. But I don’t expect more for awhile if ever. Maybe in the summer if he decides to work less since it’s boating season. I tried no contact with him actually but probably not the right way. So it was effective in restarting a friendship but not getting him back. If I were to ever do no contact again, I’d take social media out of the equation. But I think it’s better to continue building your relationship with him if that’s what you’ve already started to do.

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You keep posting about your non-contact relationship with your Aqua. Are you sure that is not his easy way of letting you be?

Posted by compy

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by TheBullAndTheScorpion
How long have you been doing things for, and are you happy just being friends or do you hope for more eventually? I'm mostly worried that I'm wrong about thinking friendship is the way to potentially rekindle things when all non-aqua dating advice I see is "the ONLY way to get back an ex is to go no contact ASAP!"

I just don't want to ruin my chance if I actually have one :/

I’m happy being just friends. He is so focused on owning businesses and doing what he loves. I understand his priorities and support his goals. Would I love more with him? Absolutely. But I don’t expect more for awhile if ever. Maybe in the summer if he decides to work less since it’s boating season. I tried no contact with him actually but probably not the right way. So it was effective in restarting a friendship but not getting him back. If I were to ever do no contact again, I’d take social media out of the equation. But I think it’s better to continue building your relationship with him if that’s what you’ve already started to do.

You keep posting about your non-contact relationship with your Aqua. Are you sure that is not his easy way of letting you be?

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I don’t believe so. Because I’ve continued to tell him how I feel about him and he still talks to me. Never once has he told me to go away or he’s not interested. He told me he still wants me in his life, he’s just insanely busy right now.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by compy

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by TheBullAndTheScorpion
How long have you been doing things for, and are you happy just being friends or do you hope for more eventually? I'm mostly worried that I'm wrong about thinking friendship is the way to potentially rekindle things when all non-aqua dating advice I see is "the ONLY way to get back an ex is to go no contact ASAP!"

I just don't want to ruin my chance if I actually have one :/

I’m happy being just friends. He is so focused on owning businesses and doing what he loves. I understand his priorities and support his goals. Would I love more with him? Absolutely. But I don’t expect more for awhile if ever. Maybe in the summer if he decides to work less since it’s boating season. I tried no contact with him actually but probably not the right way. So it was effective in restarting a friendship but not getting him back. If I were to ever do no contact again, I’d take social media out of the equation. But I think it’s better to continue building your relationship with him if that’s what you’ve already started to do.

You keep posting about your non-contact relationship with your Aqua. Are you sure that is not his easy way of letting you be?

I don’t believe so. Because I’ve continued to tell him how I feel about him and he still talks to me. Never once has he told me to go away or he’s not interested. He told me he still wants me in his life, he’s just insanely busy right now.

click to expand

Apart from following your snapchats?

Posted by compy

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by compy

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by TheBullAndTheScorpion
How long have you been doing things for, and are you happy just being friends or do you hope for more eventually? I'm mostly worried that I'm wrong about thinking friendship is the way to potentially rekindle things when all non-aqua dating advice I see is "the ONLY way to get back an ex is to go no contact ASAP!"

I just don't want to ruin my chance if I actually have one :/

I’m happy being just friends. He is so focused on owning businesses and doing what he loves. I understand his priorities and support his goals. Would I love more with him? Absolutely. But I don’t expect more for awhile if ever. Maybe in the summer if he decides to work less since it’s boating season. I tried no contact with him actually but probably not the right way. So it was effective in restarting a friendship but not getting him back. If I were to ever do no contact again, I’d take social media out of the equation. But I think it’s better to continue building your relationship with him if that’s what you’ve already started to do.

You keep posting about your non-contact relationship with your Aqua. Are you sure that is not his easy way of letting you be?

I don’t believe so. Because I’ve continued to tell him how I feel about him and he still talks to me. Never once has he told me to go away or he’s not interested. He told me he still wants me in his life, he’s just insanely busy right now.

Apart from following your snapchats?

click to expand

Yep

I would definitely not ignore him when he it’s making so much effort to talk to you. That in my opinion would definitely backfire and it just doesn’t make any sense.

I wouldn’t kiss him or anything like that. Let him come to you.

If I was in your position I will just take it as it is for now and see how it goes.

I think you are right in thinking that he got scared about the things he thought were happening with you.

Give him some time. I wouldn’t say this is over just jet.

He’s not “relationship material” at least not this point in his life and there is nothing you can do but move on. Stop initiating things and see what he does. He may like you, but if he doesn’t want a relationship then you will be stuck in the perpetual cycle you currently find your self in.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by compy

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by compy

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by TheBullAndTheScorpion
How long have you been doing things for, and are you happy just being friends or do you hope for more eventually? I'm mostly worried that I'm wrong about thinking friendship is the way to potentially rekindle things when all non-aqua dating advice I see is "the ONLY way to get back an ex is to go no contact ASAP!"

I just don't want to ruin my chance if I actually have one :/

I’m happy being just friends. He is so focused on owning businesses and doing what he loves. I understand his priorities and support his goals. Would I love more with him? Absolutely. But I don’t expect more for awhile if ever. Maybe in the summer if he decides to work less since it’s boating season. I tried no contact with him actually but probably not the right way. So it was effective in restarting a friendship but not getting him back. If I were to ever do no contact again, I’d take social media out of the equation. But I think it’s better to continue building your relationship with him if that’s what you’ve already started to do.

You keep posting about your non-contact relationship with your Aqua. Are you sure that is not his easy way of letting you be?

I don’t believe so. Because I’ve continued to tell him how I feel about him and he still talks to me. Never once has he told me to go away or he’s not interested. He told me he still wants me in his life, he’s just insanely busy right now.

Apart from following your snapchats?

Yep

click to expand

I must have skipped that part.

Posted by pisceswoman123
I would definitely not ignore him when he it’s making so much effort to talk to you. That in my opinion would definitely backfire and it just doesn’t make any sense.

I wouldn’t kiss him or anything like that. Let him come to you.

If I was in your position I will just take it as it is for now and see how it goes.

I think you are right in thinking that he got scared about the things he thought were happening with you.

Give him some time. I wouldn’t say this is over just jet.

Thank you, I think this post summarises how I feel about things right now 🙂

Posted by Moonbutter
He’s not “relationship material” at least not this point in his life and there is nothing you can do but move on. Stop initiating things and see what he does. He may like you, but if he doesn’t want a relationship then you will be stuck in the perpetual cycle you currently find your self in.

I actually haven't initiated anything since the breakup. He's the one who comes over to talk to me at work (and it's silly social stuff, not work related), and he's the one inviting me to watch his band play. Both are things he stopped doing during the period where he was misunderstanding things (before the breakup talk where I clarified things), and are things he did before/while we were dating.

I don't mind us not dating, I just want to not do anything that will close the door to possibly dating again in the future.

Posted by thistletongue
Ugh,

You said yourself he wasn’t interested in a relationship but you continue to roll over for him, pursuing him like puddy in his hands.

Kissing and gift giving, what’s the point of all this? What do you want? Sounds like he’s just being friendly, inviting you out etc since you ended on good terms while youre hopelessly waiting for some reciprocating that isn’t going to happen.

Seriously.. focus on yourself and don’t worry about him, he’s a friend and that’s it. There’s no smoke and mirrors when it comes to aquas, atleast not the ones I’m good friends with.

click to expand

I thought I was pretty clear, but the kissing WASN'T intentional, and I apologised for it.

Gift giving, well, it sounds like we are just very different people. I LOVE giving my friends gifts and do it all the time, and I don't understand people who see gift giving as something you do to get something back from the other person. It's also not like I'm still gift-giving on the same level as I was while we were dating ( $ 10 marker/free donut/bottle of soda versus $ 200 tattoo/ $ 50 games/ $ 80 Magic decks). Gift giving isn't an act of aggression, I'm not trying to manipulate him, I give all my friends gifts because I like making them happy.

And again... not waiting on reciprocation, just trying to avoid anything that would actively push him away. And I'm glad I did ask here, because everything else I'd read was telling me to cut contact with him, which people here think would push him away.

I don’t think u guys are getting back together .. he just sounds like he’s being friendly .. if u can handle being just friends with him so be it.. from all the things u have written , I don’t know if u can just be friends with him .. def don’t wait around for him hunnie

I wonder, if there is an age difference.... him being older

I think you were too full on with him (the gift giving, crying (unrelated to him? hm...), "unintentional" kissing, bringing a male friend with you to the gig, mentioning Tinder to him.... it sounds like you 2 are not equals....

he likes you, but maybe just as a big brother likes his little sister

I know Tauruses are gift-givers to close people, but he is not a close one... you love him, but he is just being friendly

if you want him back and to respect you, try to focus on yourself, professionally (go to courses? get a smart costume? be confident? be serious about your work? get some other interesting friends? - maybe somebody else here can give some better advice, how to make him respect you more) - as for now, it seems to me, your power balance is unbalanced...

no more crying and kisses and gifts for now

maybe asking him some professional questions and advice? or be friendly, flirty and mysterious a bit

as somebody said, Aquas are not manipulative and dont really understand manipulation, and you tried to manipulate him with the tinder thing and bringing a male friend along for the gig (you knew full well he will be there, what more, with a girl... crying and pretending its not related to him...)

so, what I am saying is: getting more professional and improve yourself and therefore be more confident is not a manipulation, because you will improve yourself for yourself as well, he can be an inspiration and or motivation

if you are not equals, then friendship is not a real friendship, its just a camaraderie and you will be not special for him, know what I mean?

I may be wrong, just my thought reading the topic, what came accross

Posted by Pandora101
I wonder, if there is an age difference.... him being older

I think you were too full on with him (the gift giving, crying (unrelated to him? hm...), "unintentional" kissing, bringing a male friend with you to the gig, mentioning Tinder to him.... it sounds like you 2 are not equals....

he likes you, but maybe just as a big brother likes his little sister

I know Tauruses are gift-givers to close people, but he is not a close one... you love him, but he is just being friendly

if you want him back and to respect you, try to focus on yourself, professionally (go to courses? get a smart costume? be confident? be serious about your work? get some other interesting friends? - maybe somebody else here can give some better advice, how to make him respect you more) - as for now, it seems to me, your power balance is unbalanced...

no more crying and kisses and gifts for now

maybe asking him some professional questions and advice? or be friendly, flirty and mysterious a bit

as somebody said, Aquas are not manipulative and dont really understand manipulation, and you tried to manipulate him with the tinder thing and bringing a male friend along for the gig (you knew full well he will be there, what more, with a girl... crying and pretending its not related to him...)

so, what I am saying is: getting more professional and improve yourself and therefore be more confident is not a manipulation, because you will improve yourself for yourself as well, he can be an inspiration and or motivation

if you are not equals, then friendship is not a real friendship, its just a camaraderie and you will be not special for him, know what I mean?

I may be wrong, just my thought reading the topic, what came accross

edit: even thou I said you tried to manipulate him, strangely I think you are not a cunning person, but a genuine one... you didnt have to reveal all this information... its hard to say online, who is real and who is not.... be genuine, but maybe try to get more confident and strong - throu professional and personal growth?

Posted by Pandora101
edit: even thou I said you tried to manipulate him, strangely I think you are not a cunning person, but a genuine one... you didnt have to reveal all this information... its hard to say online, who is real and who is not.... be genuine, but maybe try to get more confident and strong - throu professional and personal growth?

First of all, thank you so much for the detailed replies, Pandora! Even though you reevaluated things in your second post, I'd like to still answer some things in case it helps you (or anyone else) get a better picture of things. I've been trying really hard not to write too much because I know it makes me look very obsessed, when really it's just a complicated situation and I am very pedantic. But I think I left out so much detail in my earlier posts that people aren't really understanding things.

1. He's actually a year younger than me, not older. And I've been working at our company much longer (3 years versus 7 months), and am probably a bit more financially mature than him (I live alone in an apartment, he lives with a roommate in a sharehouse). But maybe your advice still applies, but in reverse? I need to wait for him to be in a more similar place to me?

2. The crying absolutely genuinely was not about him, and was literally ONE TIME. We were at a 3 day festival (that he invited me to and got me a ticket to). It was night 2, and I had hardly slept at all, and even though I was having a very good time overall, I still had a lot of tension (I have social anxiety, which he knew about). I went to our tent alone at 10pm, napped until midnight and then was just hanging out, reading a book. But around 4am, I figured he wasn't coming back that night (I thought maybe he fell asleep by the fire, or in the farmhouse with friends). And since I often find that crying helps me release tension, I cried for a bit. And then he came back unexpectedly and thought I was crying about him :/

I expected him to understand, because he also has social anxiety, and even told me (before that second night) that his plan for when he got home was to "cry a bit and then sleep for days"! So I thought he knew what my crying was about, and didn't realise until much later that he thought I was crying over him!

I've never cried about him, he's never done anything that made me feel sad or angry or bad in any way. Even when he broke up with me, I spent most of it laughing with him (once he realised what had happened) that he was so silly to misread me so badly. And now, post-breakup, I'm not upset or sad (I actually am enjoying having my own space), I literally JUST want to know if there's anything I should avoid doing that would make him DEFINITELY not want to ever date me again. Like - for example - going no contact (which I see recommended a lot, but which I thought would be manipulative and also just make him forget the things he likes about me!)

3. The friend I brought along to our gig is going to be working at our store soon, and I thought I'd be introducing them to each other. So yes, I obviously did know Aqua would be there, but I wasn't trying to manipulate him! Aqua and I had had a really good week up until then (him going way out of his way to talk to me lots and even being a bit flirty the night before). And the week before, he'd invited me to the same venue to hang out and watch him play. I had NO reason to think he'd be unhappy to see me, and I thought that if he had any initial jealousy about my friend, he'd quickly realise that we're just friends just by hanging out with us.

And as soon as I realised he might be on a date (and I could have been wrong, I don't know all his friends), I left and went home so as to give him space. And two days later at work he was right back to seeking me out to talk to, so he couldn't have been that upset!

4. The kisses were 100% not cool and I regret doing it. They genuinely weren't something I thought about. It's just so normal to do when I hug him that it happened without me realizing what I was doing. I will not be hugging him again until I am sure I can control myself, because I definitely don't want to have it happen again!

And just as an aside, he was the one initiating hugs. I don't normally hug my friends, so normally when we are saying goodbye I just verbally say it and start to leave. But he always says "no no no" and puts his arms out for a hug. Just want to be clear that I wasn't pushing physical affection on him that he didn't want.

5. The Tinder thing was maybe a mistake, but I was telling a funny story about the first (and only) guy I spoke to on it, and how that guy was pushy and dumb. I'd told other friends at work the same story. And I also told him that obviously online dating isn"t for me and that I've deleted the app already (which I surely wouldn't do if I was trying to make him jealous). And I guess if the situation were reversed and he was telling me the story, I wouldn't be jealous that he tried Tinder, but relieved that he didn't like it and deleted it. Which honestly seemed to be how he reacted, which surprised me!

6. The gift giving is probably where I have to be most careful (because left to my own devices I would definitely give him wayyyy to many and bother him). But so far, he's been very thankful for what I have given him, so I don't think I'm crossing any lines. The day after he broke up with me, I gave him some markers I knew he wanted, and the day after that he came over to my department to say thank you in person, and then most recently when I gave him the free donut he was super over the top excited and thanked me multiple times.

I AM going to continue being conscious of the boundary between 'friendly' (small, cheap/free, convenient things) versus 'girlfriend' presents (lavish, expensive, carefully planned things) though. I want to make him happy, not manipulate him 🙂

I think you are right that I just need to keep giving him space, and CONSCIOUSLY not do anything he might think is manipulative (versus just doing my own thing knowing I don't MEAN to be manipulative, but not considering how it might look to him). I'm also planning to potentially change departments at work, which will mean.a lot of new work to focus on. And if I do make this switch, it will be work I am proud of doing (versus my current department, where I feel quite stagnant), which I think also will fit your advice 🙂

... phew! Huge thanks to ANYONE who makes it through all those words. I'm sorry I'm so verbose, I just like being precise, and there were lots of things bundled into Pandora's posts that I wanted to clarify.

Aquarius Guy.

I am reading a lot about Aqua guys these days. Found one online in September. Told him i can't move abroad and he went away smoothly with some sweet advices. I had NO idea that he liked me cz the reason ge gave to leave was totally else. Neither he seem very interested.

In January however i messaged him to send his pics. He said if i will kiss him in return on call. I agreed.

The first call proved momentous. He proposed aagain and again. Very clearly. Said he liked me from beginning but i pushed him away.....and that i seemed more interested in my business than him.

He has most aqua traits including the disappearing act...but that's only based on not reading my text or picking my call and lasts few days only. I always contact first...its onlyyy when i delete his number he panics (though he doesn't show)...

Our chemistry on call is on spot. I am a Virgo girl to the core. He loves my independence, my business, my extrovert personality , my confidence.

I don't know if how much he shares is enough or not...he told me about his ex....in a slightly emotional way...just once when i insisted. ..he told me about his business ventures. ..his nature. ..his friends pics...what he dreams of..... but all when u ask...

He says i love you a lot. Reciprocates love well. Doesn't make any big promise except that he will come to visit my family and talk to his. He talked to my mom...finallyyyyy 3 days ago..

But he is again busy in business. ..i dont wanna push. ..he does message once a day telling me he was busy...says sorry....but rarely calls as promised.

I just fear he wont ditch me in end....though i hv nothing to lose as we never met.... so the love factor is pretty much little investment of time



Should i keep him? Is he genuine? I hv our birth charts...how to show you guys?