Lol he probably already has 🙂
My Aquarius Saga: A Cautionary Tale... (Page 3)
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Posted by FitNebulaYour effort was embarrassing.
Welp I responded after a day and here was my text to him "If you were serious and made an effort to treat me well, then ok, otherwise no. I don't deserve to be lied to and strung along. I know I am so nice and forgiving but I'm not going to deal with that level of disrespect."
Haven't heard shit from him back lol. SHOCKING
Posted by AerialViewIt wasn't an effort. I just wrote what I felt.Posted by FitNebulaYour effort was embarrassing.
Welp I responded after a day and here was my text to him "If you were serious and made an effort to treat me well, then ok, otherwise no. I don't deserve to be lied to and strung along. I know I am so nice and forgiving but I'm not going to deal with that level of disrespect."
Haven't heard shit from him back lol. SHOCKINGclick to expand
Posted by FitNebulaTold you to blew up his phone and send hundreds of message. Not one ultimatum message like that.Posted by AerialViewIt wasn't an effort. I just wrote what I felt.Posted by FitNebulaYour effort was embarrassing.
Welp I responded after a day and here was my text to him "If you were serious and made an effort to treat me well, then ok, otherwise no. I don't deserve to be lied to and strung along. I know I am so nice and forgiving but I'm not going to deal with that level of disrespect."
Haven't heard shit from him back lol. SHOCKINGclick to expand
I would ignore your message too if I were him.
Posted by AerialViewWait why would I blow up his phone and send hundreds of messages?! Saying what?!Posted by FitNebulaTold you to blew up his phone and send hundreds of message. Not one ultimatum message like that.Posted by AerialViewIt wasn't an effort. I just wrote what I felt.Posted by FitNebulaYour effort was embarrassing.
Welp I responded after a day and here was my text to him "If you were serious and made an effort to treat me well, then ok, otherwise no. I don't deserve to be lied to and strung along. I know I am so nice and forgiving but I'm not going to deal with that level of disrespect."
Haven't heard shit from him back lol. SHOCKING
I would ignore your message too if I were him.click to expand
I feel like it needs an ultimatum... if he won't treat me right then why would i want to be with him? And if he really wants to be with me then he would put in the effort to treat me well (which isn't hard -- i don't have high standards -- just don't lie to me or string me along is all)
Posted by WaterbearerwearerIdk, his message was long and mine was still shorter than his so whatever. I said what I had to say and I feel good about itPosted by FitNebulaPosted by WaterbearerwearerLol he probably already has 🙂
He’s plotting to bang the next chick that walks past his person.
With Aqua you gotta throw lightening bolts. I would have responded to his text with 4 words, maybe 5.
How rapey of you
Thanksclick to expand
Posted by WaterbearerwearerLol fckn no to threatening messages 😫😫😫😫Posted by AerialViewFkn terrible we are. Why does communication become deal breakers for us? 😂😂😂😂😂Posted by FitNebulaTold you to blew up his phone and send hundreds of message. Not one ultimatum message like that.Posted by AerialViewIt wasn't an effort. I just wrote what I felt.Posted by FitNebulaYour effort was embarrassing.
Welp I responded after a day and here was my text to him "If you were serious and made an effort to treat me well, then ok, otherwise no. I don't deserve to be lied to and strung along. I know I am so nice and forgiving but I'm not going to deal with that level of disrespect."
Haven't heard shit from him back lol. SHOCKING
I would ignore your message too if I were him.click to expand
Posted by WaterbearerwearerEh I responded within 12 hours and 8 of those I was asleep.
Ps I respect a person who responds promptly
Otherwise I know you’re just sitting there in pools of sweat trying to pen me a Greek tragedy but acting chill.
Annoying
Posted by WaterbearerwearerLol maybe air-to-air is also a Mexican stand off
Yeah 12 is ok...
He may be in touch. It depends heavily on your next move.
Aqua to Aqua that’s a fkn Mexican stand-off
But you’re not Aqua so I’d say just lay low if you want another crack.
Cuz I know I won't reach out again
Knowing him he just didn't know what to say back to my message... or didn't feel it needed a response.
He will probably text me to hang out like nothing happened lol (if I'm lucky)
That's exactly what he will do, eventually. A waste of time, anyway.
Posted by compyI don't think it is a waste of time if he is serious about wanting a relationship. We'll see what he does
That's exactly what he will do, eventually. A waste of time, anyway.
Posted by WaterbearerwearerMy text was too emotional? I feel like mine was logical and his was way more emotional ("i made a huge mistake" "I wanna be with you"). Mine was more like ok if you are respectful sure. (logic)Posted by FitNebulaIt was too emotional that text. He can respond in kind.Posted by WaterbearerwearerLol maybe air-to-air is also a Mexican stand off
Yeah 12 is ok...
He may be in touch. It depends heavily on your next move.
Aqua to Aqua that’s a fkn Mexican stand-off
But you’re not Aqua so I’d say just lay low if you want another crack.
Cuz I know I won't reach out again
Knowing him he just didn't know what to say back to my message... or didn't feel it needed a response.
He will probably text me to hang out like nothing happened lol (if I'm lucky)
That’s allclick to expand
Posted by WaterbearerwearerIdk.. you may have a point.Posted by FitNebulaListen to the very aqua AVPosted by WaterbearerwearerMy text was too emotional? I feel like mine was logical and his was way more emotional ("i made a huge mistake" "I wanna be with you"). Mine was more like ok if you are respectful sure. (logic)Posted by FitNebulaIt was too emotional that text. He can respond in kind.Posted by WaterbearerwearerLol maybe air-to-air is also a Mexican stand off
Yeah 12 is ok...
He may be in touch. It depends heavily on your next move.
Aqua to Aqua that’s a fkn Mexican stand-off
But you’re not Aqua so I’d say just lay low if you want another crack.
Cuz I know I won't reach out again
Knowing him he just didn't know what to say back to my message... or didn't feel it needed a response.
He will probably text me to hang out like nothing happened lol (if I'm lucky)
That’s all
They don’t do ultimatums.. it’s emotional weakness that rebellious waterbearers can’t and won’t tolerate.
Sorry but if you responded
Yeah we both fkd up but you more
See you soon to talk a s s hole
He would laugh and kick himself for doing you wrong. You’d be meeting up by now.
You libra?click to expand
I honestly didn't feel like it was an ultimatum because he was asking me if I would take him back.. and i basically said YES if you treat me well this time and don't disrespect me again.
I didn't feel like that's an ultimatum.. it was just me saying I won't be in a relationship with someone who lies to me
But maybe I should've responded lighter like you suggested..
Maybe I can fix this but idk. I didn't mean to give him an ultimatum, I just wanted to say my terms really. More like a negotiation
Oh and yes I am a libra..
IDK if anyone cares but if anyone is interested lol... He finally responded after an entire week to my text and said "I think I can do that" (i.e he thinks he can make an effort to treat me well and be serious).
I am happy but not sure what to say, if anything. He is so strange...... but I love it
I am happy but not sure what to say, if anything. He is so strange...... but I love it
Posted by FitNebulaHe's not so mean like everybody said isn't it (:
IDK if anyone cares but if anyone is interested lol... He finally responded after an entire week to my text and said "I think I can do that" (i.e he thinks he can make an effort to treat me well and be serious).
I am happy but not sure what to say, if anything. He is so strange...... but I love it
Posted by AerialViewLol maybe you were right...... I don't think he is mean, I think he's just confused sometimes 🙂Posted by FitNebulaHe's not so mean like everybody said isn't it (:
IDK if anyone cares but if anyone is interested lol... He finally responded after an entire week to my text and said "I think I can do that" (i.e he thinks he can make an effort to treat me well and be serious).
I am happy but not sure what to say, if anything. He is so strange...... but I love itclick to expand
Posted by FitNebulaGlad you're not listening to the naysayers negative nancies (:Posted by AerialViewLol maybe you were right...... I don't think he is mean, I think he's just confused sometimes 🙂Posted by FitNebulaHe's not so mean like everybody said isn't it (:
IDK if anyone cares but if anyone is interested lol... He finally responded after an entire week to my text and said "I think I can do that" (i.e he thinks he can make an effort to treat me well and be serious).
I am happy but not sure what to say, if anything. He is so strange...... but I love itclick to expand
Posted by AerialViewThanks me too 🙂 --- but you never know what will happen next week!Posted by FitNebulaGlad you're not listening to the naysayers negative nancies (:Posted by AerialViewLol maybe you were right...... I don't think he is mean, I think he's just confused sometimes 🙂Posted by FitNebulaHe's not so mean like everybody said isn't it (:
IDK if anyone cares but if anyone is interested lol... He finally responded after an entire week to my text and said "I think I can do that" (i.e he thinks he can make an effort to treat me well and be serious).
I am happy but not sure what to say, if anything. He is so strange...... but I love itclick to expand
Posted by AerialViewAlso... Do you have any suggestions of what I should say back to his text?Posted by FitNebulaGlad you're not listening to the naysayers negative nancies (:Posted by AerialViewLol maybe you were right...... I don't think he is mean, I think he's just confused sometimes 🙂Posted by FitNebulaHe's not so mean like everybody said isn't it (:
IDK if anyone cares but if anyone is interested lol... He finally responded after an entire week to my text and said "I think I can do that" (i.e he thinks he can make an effort to treat me well and be serious).
I am happy but not sure what to say, if anything. He is so strange...... but I love itclick to expand
Fine but make him prove it.
I love the 2 Aquas who've responded to you but they're telling you shit that works for THEM. Not what works for the other person.
I might have said something similar to @Waterbearerwearer if I didn't know your history. In fact, I may have done some time ago. But I would only take that advice if you want to start back at square one.
This is where the rubber hits the road. I'm not a Libra but I'm heavily Libra dominant and we will bend over backwards for people and then regret it when we're not getting what we rightly deserve. You have to learn to be firm.
See what happens, sure, but as I said before: no one on ones, no Netflix and chill. No flirty texts and no trying to get in his head. Hang out with a group, have fun, but not like you're a couple. Watch how he acts at parties; does he hang around you or is he scoping the place for someone more interesting? Does he follow through consistently or only when he meeds something from you?
Don't be cold, but don't roll over at the first sign of "maybe he's changing". Wait until you're sure he has, consistently and over time.
I love the 2 Aquas who've responded to you but they're telling you shit that works for THEM. Not what works for the other person.
I might have said something similar to @Waterbearerwearer if I didn't know your history. In fact, I may have done some time ago. But I would only take that advice if you want to start back at square one.
This is where the rubber hits the road. I'm not a Libra but I'm heavily Libra dominant and we will bend over backwards for people and then regret it when we're not getting what we rightly deserve. You have to learn to be firm.
See what happens, sure, but as I said before: no one on ones, no Netflix and chill. No flirty texts and no trying to get in his head. Hang out with a group, have fun, but not like you're a couple. Watch how he acts at parties; does he hang around you or is he scoping the place for someone more interesting? Does he follow through consistently or only when he meeds something from you?
Don't be cold, but don't roll over at the first sign of "maybe he's changing". Wait until you're sure he has, consistently and over time.
Posted by FitNebula"I'm happy with that"Posted by AerialViewAlso... Do you have any suggestions of what I should say back to his text?Posted by FitNebulaGlad you're not listening to the naysayers negative nancies (:Posted by AerialViewLol maybe you were right...... I don't think he is mean, I think he's just confused sometimes 🙂Posted by FitNebulaHe's not so mean like everybody said isn't it (:
IDK if anyone cares but if anyone is interested lol... He finally responded after an entire week to my text and said "I think I can do that" (i.e he thinks he can make an effort to treat me well and be serious).
I am happy but not sure what to say, if anything. He is so strange...... but I love itclick to expand
😂 That's what I want to hear if I were him 😂
Posted by sultrykittyThank you! Yes -- I want to take it slow because I don't fully trust him.... I don't think I should jump into this unless he really wants to... then again we have been taking it slow for like 8 years so I'm not sure.
Fine but make him prove it.
I love the 2 Aquas who've responded to you but they're telling you shit that works for THEM. Not what works for the other person.
I might have said something similar to @Waterbearerwearer if I didn't know your history. In fact, I may have done some time ago. But I would only take that advice if you want to start back at square one.
This is where the rubber hits the road. I'm not a Libra but I'm heavily Libra dominant and we will bend over backwards for people and then regret it when we're not getting what we rightly deserve. You have to learn to be firm.
See what happens, sure, but as I said before: no one on ones, no Netflix and chill. No flirty texts and no trying to get in his head. Hang out with a group, have fun, but not like you're a couple. Watch how he acts at parties; does he hang around you or is he scoping the place for someone more interesting? Does he follow through consistently or only when he meeds something from you?
Don't be cold, but don't roll over at the first sign of "maybe he's changing". Wait until you're sure he has, consistently and over time.
But yeah, I do bend over backwards for people and I forgive everyone for anything. I am a people pleaser and get anxious if I think I'm not pleasing someone (anyone!)
THanks for the advice!
Posted by WaterbearerwearerI actually do agree with you.. and I know he does too because I remember one time like 5 years ago he said "women always try to make you prove yourself" and he obviously resented it.
What’s with people saying he needs to prove it?
He was emotionally honest in his text and I’m assuming in person you both hit it off. Friendship is the crux for any Aqua male.
You got that already so enough already.
Women gotta chill with this ‘prove yourself’
Love isn’t a Guilty until proven innocent.
If you want it with someone stake your claim and grow together or else it’s just a bunch of bs mind Fkery.
I don't want him to feel like he has to prove himself BUT I want to be cautious because I don't want him to hurt me again. Unless he REALLY wants to commit to me then I probably shouldn't be involved just for the protection of my own feelings.
I just think he is a little fickle and confused so I don't want to get my hopes up in case he again changes his mind lol
Posted by FitNebulaDon't be afraid to open up to him and to initiate conversations or get togethers. Don't make him do all the work, but don't approach him like a boyfriend. Just be like you are with your other friends, and let him respond to you like he wants more. It protects you from being too emotionally vulnerable and it lets you see whether he's serious about a relationship with you. You will know if he is, there will be no doubt.Posted by sultrykittyThank you! Yes -- I want to take it slow because I don't fully trust him.... I don't think I should jump into this unless he really wants to... then again we have been taking it slow for like 8 years so I'm not sure.
Fine but make him prove it.
I love the 2 Aquas who've responded to you but they're telling you shit that works for THEM. Not what works for the other person.
I might have said something similar to @Waterbearerwearer if I didn't know your history. In fact, I may have done some time ago. But I would only take that advice if you want to start back at square one.
This is where the rubber hits the road. I'm not a Libra but I'm heavily Libra dominant and we will bend over backwards for people and then regret it when we're not getting what we rightly deserve. You have to learn to be firm.
See what happens, sure, but as I said before: no one on ones, no Netflix and chill. No flirty texts and no trying to get in his head. Hang out with a group, have fun, but not like you're a couple. Watch how he acts at parties; does he hang around you or is he scoping the place for someone more interesting? Does he follow through consistently or only when he meeds something from you?
Don't be cold, but don't roll over at the first sign of "maybe he's changing". Wait until you're sure he has, consistently and over time.
But yeah, I do bend over backwards for people and I forgive everyone for anything. I am a people pleaser and get anxious if I think I'm not pleasing someone (anyone!)
THanks for the advice!click to expand
Posted by sultrykittyThanks, but that's what I've been doing now for so long! I almost feel like it's now or never -- like this has been going on for so long and I don't want to continue the same situation where I have to wonder if he is talking to other girls or seeing anyone else... So if he is saying he wants to be with me... I feel like we should just do it, although take it slowly. But I want to be exclusive at the very least!Posted by FitNebulaDon't be afraid to open up to him and to initiate conversations or get togethers. Don't make him do all the work, but don't approach him like a boyfriend. Just be like you are with your other friends, and let him respond to you like he wants more. It protects you from being too emotionally vulnerable and it lets you see whether he's serious about a relationship with you. You will know if he is, there will be no doubt.Posted by sultrykittyThank you! Yes -- I want to take it slow because I don't fully trust him.... I don't think I should jump into this unless he really wants to... then again we have been taking it slow for like 8 years so I'm not sure.
Fine but make him prove it.
I love the 2 Aquas who've responded to you but they're telling you shit that works for THEM. Not what works for the other person.
I might have said something similar to @Waterbearerwearer if I didn't know your history. In fact, I may have done some time ago. But I would only take that advice if you want to start back at square one.
This is where the rubber hits the road. I'm not a Libra but I'm heavily Libra dominant and we will bend over backwards for people and then regret it when we're not getting what we rightly deserve. You have to learn to be firm.
See what happens, sure, but as I said before: no one on ones, no Netflix and chill. No flirty texts and no trying to get in his head. Hang out with a group, have fun, but not like you're a couple. Watch how he acts at parties; does he hang around you or is he scoping the place for someone more interesting? Does he follow through consistently or only when he meeds something from you?
Don't be cold, but don't roll over at the first sign of "maybe he's changing". Wait until you're sure he has, consistently and over time.
But yeah, I do bend over backwards for people and I forgive everyone for anything. I am a people pleaser and get anxious if I think I'm not pleasing someone (anyone!)
THanks for the advice!
click to expand
Posted by WaterbearerwearerNope, it's not that he has to do everything while she sits back like a princess taking it all.
What’s with people saying he needs to prove it?
He was emotionally honest in his text and I’m assuming in person you both hit it off. Friendship is the crux for any Aqua male.
You got that already so enough already.
Women gotta chill with this ‘prove yourself’
Love isn’t a Guilty until proven innocent.
If you want it with someone stake your claim and grow together or else it’s just a bunch of bs mind Fkery.
They *haven't* been friends for years. He's been flaky, wishy washy, and vague. One day he's all in, the next he's left her alone wondering wtf happened.
And it hasn't just been him, she hasn't been all sunshine and flowers. When he *was* trying to get closer to her in an honest way, SHE wouldn't give him any indication of how she felt amd expected him to do everything to show her how he felt. She doubted everything including her own decisions.
I know that not every Aqua is going to be the same but I went through this exact thing with mine, and it wasn't until I was finally done and walked away that he actually started treating me like I mattered to him. He wasn't a bad guy, and I knew he cared but he absolutely would NOT move forward and it didn't matter what I did.
When I finally decided it wasn't worth the limbo I'd been living in and suggested we end it (and maybe reconnect after a year or so to see if we still actually felt the something for each other), he decided to actually commit. It took several months of no contact and I had no intention of getting back together. But he made it very clear what his feelings were for me, and his actions backed up his words. In other words, he proved himself. Like any man should be expected to do, honestly.
Posted by FitNebulaThen go all in. If you think it's going to be different this time.Posted by sultrykittyThanks, but that's what I've been doing now for so long! I almost feel like it's now or never -- like this has been going on for so long and I don't want to continue the same situation where I have to wonder if he is talking to other girls or seeing anyone else... So if he is saying he wants to be with me... I feel like we should just do it, although take it slowly. But I want to be exclusive at the very least!Posted by FitNebulaDon't be afraid to open up to him and to initiate conversations or get togethers. Don't make him do all the work, but don't approach him like a boyfriend. Just be like you are with your other friends, and let him respond to you like he wants more. It protects you from being too emotionally vulnerable and it lets you see whether he's serious about a relationship with you. You will know if he is, there will be no doubt.Posted by sultrykittyThank you! Yes -- I want to take it slow because I don't fully trust him.... I don't think I should jump into this unless he really wants to... then again we have been taking it slow for like 8 years so I'm not sure.
Fine but make him prove it.
I love the 2 Aquas who've responded to you but they're telling you shit that works for THEM. Not what works for the other person.
I might have said something similar to @Waterbearerwearer if I didn't know your history. In fact, I may have done some time ago. But I would only take that advice if you want to start back at square one.
This is where the rubber hits the road. I'm not a Libra but I'm heavily Libra dominant and we will bend over backwards for people and then regret it when we're not getting what we rightly deserve. You have to learn to be firm.
See what happens, sure, but as I said before: no one on ones, no Netflix and chill. No flirty texts and no trying to get in his head. Hang out with a group, have fun, but not like you're a couple. Watch how he acts at parties; does he hang around you or is he scoping the place for someone more interesting? Does he follow through consistently or only when he meeds something from you?
Don't be cold, but don't roll over at the first sign of "maybe he's changing". Wait until you're sure he has, consistently and over time.
But yeah, I do bend over backwards for people and I forgive everyone for anything. I am a people pleaser and get anxious if I think I'm not pleasing someone (anyone!)
THanks for the advice!
click to expand
Posted by sultrykittyHmmm interesting.Posted by WaterbearerwearerNope, it's not that he has to do everything while she sits back like a princess taking it all.
What’s with people saying he needs to prove it?
He was emotionally honest in his text and I’m assuming in person you both hit it off. Friendship is the crux for any Aqua male.
You got that already so enough already.
Women gotta chill with this ‘prove yourself’
Love isn’t a Guilty until proven innocent.
If you want it with someone stake your claim and grow together or else it’s just a bunch of bs mind Fkery.
They *haven't* been friends for years. He's been flaky, wishy washy, and vague. One day he's all in, the next he's left her alone wondering wtf happened.
And it hasn't just been him, she hasn't been all sunshine and flowers. When he *was* trying to get closer to her in an honest way, SHE wouldn't give him any indication of how she felt amd expected him to do everything to show her how he felt. She doubted everything including her own decisions.
I know that not every Aqua is going to be the same but I went through this exact thing with mine, and it wasn't until I was finally done and walked away that he actually started treating me like I mattered to him. He wasn't a bad guy, and I knew he cared but he absolutely would NOT move forward and it didn't matter what I did.
When I finally decided it wasn't worth the limbo I'd been living in and suggested we end it (and maybe reconnect after a year or so to see if we still actually felt the something for each other), he decided to actually commit. It took several months of no contact and I had no intention of getting back together. But he made it very clear what his feelings were for me, and his actions backed up his words. In other words, he proved himself. Like any man should be expected to do, honestly.
click to expand
I do take your words to heart because, although I want to believe him, I am scared that if I give in, he will feel like I'm always going to come back no matter what he does and thus he can treat me however he wants.
That's why I feel like he should back up his words with some form of action. I mean, he literally took a full week to reply to my text message and said "I think I can do that" --- one part of me is excited, the other part is like, wait, you took an entire week to respond and all you have to say is you *think* you can treat me well and be serious? Of course, this is all over text message, so there's no other context to go off of really (another frustrating thing, I wish he had called or told me this in person so I could gauge things better).
The other part of me says it's actually a very big step of him to even say these things to me... and, while he took a week to respond, he didn't change his mind and was apparently serious, and not just drunk or something.
But, my text message before to him was very firm about my boundaries, and I don't want him to think I'm letting up on them if I give in. I just don't want to go through what he has already put me through in just the last 1.5 months. If he wants to be with me, great, but I can't deal with him still hanging out with another girl too. It makes me feel like a backup or second choice.
And, he's clearly a terrible communicator... and that's a huge part of a relationship. It's odd, when we have a serious in person conversation, he seems to be pretty good at communicating and things are great. But otherwise, he's terrible for some reason.
Sorry, I'm all over the place. But I need to be cautious and, while I agree with the aquas who are saying I shouldn't try to make him prove himself, I also agree with you in that I need to be careful and watch him before I jump into this and get hurt again.
Posted by FitNebulaI get it. It's a fine line between being cautious and be so distrusring that it sabotages anything good that could happen.Posted by sultrykittyHmmm interesting.Posted by WaterbearerwearerNope, it's not that he has to do everything while she sits back like a princess taking it all.
What’s with people saying he needs to prove it?
He was emotionally honest in his text and I’m assuming in person you both hit it off. Friendship is the crux for any Aqua male.
You got that already so enough already.
Women gotta chill with this ‘prove yourself’
Love isn’t a Guilty until proven innocent.
If you want it with someone stake your claim and grow together or else it’s just a bunch of bs mind Fkery.
They *haven't* been friends for years. He's been flaky, wishy washy, and vague. One day he's all in, the next he's left her alone wondering wtf happened.
And it hasn't just been him, she hasn't been all sunshine and flowers. When he *was* trying to get closer to her in an honest way, SHE wouldn't give him any indication of how she felt amd expected him to do everything to show her how he felt. She doubted everything including her own decisions.
I know that not every Aqua is going to be the same but I went through this exact thing with mine, and it wasn't until I was finally done and walked away that he actually started treating me like I mattered to him. He wasn't a bad guy, and I knew he cared but he absolutely would NOT move forward and it didn't matter what I did.
When I finally decided it wasn't worth the limbo I'd been living in and suggested we end it (and maybe reconnect after a year or so to see if we still actually felt the something for each other), he decided to actually commit. It took several months of no contact and I had no intention of getting back together. But he made it very clear what his feelings were for me, and his actions backed up his words. In other words, he proved himself. Like any man should be expected to do, honestly.
I do take your words to heart because, although I want to believe him, I am scared that if I give in, he will feel like I'm always going to come back no matter what he does and thus he can treat me however he wants.
That's why I feel like he should back up his words with some form of action. I mean, he literally took a full week to reply to my text message and said "I think I can do that" --- one part of me is excited, the other part is like, wait, you took an entire week to respond and all you have to say is you *think* you can treat me well and be serious? Of course, this is all over text message, so there's no other context to go off of really (another frustrating thing, I wish he had called or told me this in person so I could gauge things better).
The other part of me says it's actually a very big step of him to even say these things to me... and, while he took a week to respond, he didn't change his mind and was apparently serious, and not just drunk or something.
But, my text message before to him was very firm about my boundaries, and I don't want him to think I'm letting up on them if I give in. I just don't want to go through what he has already put me through in just the last 1.5 months. If he wants to be with me, great, but I can't deal with him still hanging out with another girl too. It makes me feel like a backup or second choice.
And, he's clearly a terrible communicator... and that's a huge part of a relationship. It's odd, when we have a serious in person conversation, he seems to be pretty good at communicating and things are great. But otherwise, he's terrible for some reason.
Sorry, I'm all over the place. But I need to be cautious and, while I agree with the aquas who are saying I shouldn't try to make him prove himself, I also agree with you in that I need to be careful and watch him before I jump into this and get hurt again.click to expand
I mean, it's great that he's said what he did but talk is cheap, is all I'm saying. It was his idea to try the relationship thing and what happened after wasn't what you thought a relationship should look like.
It's not like you have to make him jump through hoops to prove anything, he'll either do it on his own or not. You don't have to do anything to force it. Hell, you can even go all in and not worry about what you need from him and he'll either give it or not. It's your call which way to go.
Posted by Waterbearerwearer
Ps talk is cheap with everyone but no Aqua
We don’t say shit unless we feel it
Meaning it and acting on it are 2 different things, and THAT is the problem. We know you mean it but if you act like you don't it might as well be the same thing.
Posted by WaterbearerwearerI understood your point and addressed the real issue. Feelings don't mean shit except to the person feeling them. It may be true that Aquamen are demostrative in their own way, but it's not the way most women are able to recognize. Some are but it's not typical. I can tell you that mine has never been demonstrative, but still after 30 years I know he loves me
Girl you tripping
Aqua don’t say shit unless they absolute feel it was my point
And aqua men because of their emotional stalls are very demonstrative as a result.
If this guy isn’t showing OP love he’s not into it
Period
There's a reason Aqua men are notorious for staying single longer than most other men and it's not only because they want to be free.
Posted by sultrykittyExactly!Posted by FitNebulaI get it. It's a fine line between being cautious and be so distrusring that it sabotages anything good that could happen.Posted by sultrykittyHmmm interesting.Posted by WaterbearerwearerNope, it's not that he has to do everything while she sits back like a princess taking it all.
What’s with people saying he needs to prove it?
He was emotionally honest in his text and I’m assuming in person you both hit it off. Friendship is the crux for any Aqua male.
You got that already so enough already.
Women gotta chill with this ‘prove yourself’
Love isn’t a Guilty until proven innocent.
If you want it with someone stake your claim and grow together or else it’s just a bunch of bs mind Fkery.
They *haven't* been friends for years. He's been flaky, wishy washy, and vague. One day he's all in, the next he's left her alone wondering wtf happened.
And it hasn't just been him, she hasn't been all sunshine and flowers. When he *was* trying to get closer to her in an honest way, SHE wouldn't give him any indication of how she felt amd expected him to do everything to show her how he felt. She doubted everything including her own decisions.
I know that not every Aqua is going to be the same but I went through this exact thing with mine, and it wasn't until I was finally done and walked away that he actually started treating me like I mattered to him. He wasn't a bad guy, and I knew he cared but he absolutely would NOT move forward and it didn't matter what I did.
When I finally decided it wasn't worth the limbo I'd been living in and suggested we end it (and maybe reconnect after a year or so to see if we still actually felt the something for each other), he decided to actually commit. It took several months of no contact and I had no intention of getting back together. But he made it very clear what his feelings were for me, and his actions backed up his words. In other words, he proved himself. Like any man should be expected to do, honestly.
I do take your words to heart because, although I want to believe him, I am scared that if I give in, he will feel like I'm always going to come back no matter what he does and thus he can treat me however he wants.
That's why I feel like he should back up his words with some form of action. I mean, he literally took a full week to reply to my text message and said "I think I can do that" --- one part of me is excited, the other part is like, wait, you took an entire week to respond and all you have to say is you *think* you can treat me well and be serious? Of course, this is all over text message, so there's no other context to go off of really (another frustrating thing, I wish he had called or told me this in person so I could gauge things better).
The other part of me says it's actually a very big step of him to even say these things to me... and, while he took a week to respond, he didn't change his mind and was apparently serious, and not just drunk or something.
But, my text message before to him was very firm about my boundaries, and I don't want him to think I'm letting up on them if I give in. I just don't want to go through what he has already put me through in just the last 1.5 months. If he wants to be with me, great, but I can't deal with him still hanging out with another girl too. It makes me feel like a backup or second choice.
And, he's clearly a terrible communicator... and that's a huge part of a relationship. It's odd, when we have a serious in person conversation, he seems to be pretty good at communicating and things are great. But otherwise, he's terrible for some reason.
Sorry, I'm all over the place. But I need to be cautious and, while I agree with the aquas who are saying I shouldn't try to make him prove himself, I also agree with you in that I need to be careful and watch him before I jump into this and get hurt again.
I mean, it's great that he's said what he did but talk is cheap, is all I'm saying. It was his idea to try the relationship thing and what happened after wasn't what you thought a relationship should look like.
It's not like you have to make him jump through hoops to prove anything, he'll either do it on his own or not. You don't have to do anything to force it. Hell, you can even go all in and not worry about what you need from him and he'll either give it or not. It's your call which way to go.
click to expand
Agreed that talk is cheap, although coming from him it means a lot... but still.
I think I'm just going to text him back something like "Okay 🙂" and then the ball is in his court to make an effort if he's serious.
Thanks for all of your advice!
ok another update. I gave in.
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..
Posted by FitNebulaNice update 😎
ok another update. I gave in.
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..
Posted by AerialViewThanks actually we are 100% together now (I think) lol.. he asked me to hangout a little after I posted that last update and he was so sweet and nice to me and I slept over and in the morning he cooked us breakfast and we just hung out and talked for a few hours but I had to leave to study for this huge exam I had earlier today. Last night he texted me to tell me good luck (doesn't seem like a big deal but the fact that he even remembered and made an effort was sweet coming from him!)Posted by FitNebulaNice update 😎
ok another update. I gave in.
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..click to expand
So yeah this was the most dramatic thread I've ever been apart of and the most rollercoaster-y two weeks ever but I'm happy and HOPEFULLY no more rollercoasters for awhile but again you never know what will happen next week, lol
Posted by FitNebulaThe rollercoaster will always be there (:Posted by AerialViewThanks actually we are 100% together now (I think) lol.. he asked me to hangout a little after I posted that last update and he was so sweet and nice to me and I slept over and in the morning he cooked us breakfast and we just hung out and talked for a few hours but I had to leave to study for this huge exam I had earlier today. Last night he texted me to tell me good luck (doesn't seem like a big deal but the fact that he even remembered and made an effort was sweet coming from him!)Posted by FitNebulaNice update 😎
ok another update. I gave in.
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..
So yeah this was the most dramatic thread I've ever been apart of and the most rollercoaster-y two weeks ever but I'm happy and HOPEFULLY no more rollercoasters for awhile but again you never know what will happen next week, lolclick to expand
At least you know what to do and won't be so dramatic again when that happens lol
Posted by AerialViewTrue and it has always been a rollercoaster only not to this extreme 😱Posted by FitNebulaThe rollercoaster will always be there (:Posted by AerialViewThanks actually we are 100% together now (I think) lol.. he asked me to hangout a little after I posted that last update and he was so sweet and nice to me and I slept over and in the morning he cooked us breakfast and we just hung out and talked for a few hours but I had to leave to study for this huge exam I had earlier today. Last night he texted me to tell me good luck (doesn't seem like a big deal but the fact that he even remembered and made an effort was sweet coming from him!)Posted by FitNebulaNice update 😎
ok another update. I gave in.
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..
So yeah this was the most dramatic thread I've ever been apart of and the most rollercoaster-y two weeks ever but I'm happy and HOPEFULLY no more rollercoasters for awhile but again you never know what will happen next week, lol
At least you know what to do and won't be so dramatic again when that happens lolclick to expand
I personally hope this doesn't happen again though to this degree lol. Yeah I definitely won't overreact next time.
You were right after all!
Posted by FitNebulaAlways listen and trust your man first.Posted by AerialViewTrue and it has always been a rollercoaster only not to this extreme 😱Posted by FitNebulaThe rollercoaster will always be there (:Posted by AerialViewThanks actually we are 100% together now (I think) lol.. he asked me to hangout a little after I posted that last update and he was so sweet and nice to me and I slept over and in the morning he cooked us breakfast and we just hung out and talked for a few hours but I had to leave to study for this huge exam I had earlier today. Last night he texted me to tell me good luck (doesn't seem like a big deal but the fact that he even remembered and made an effort was sweet coming from him!)Posted by FitNebulaNice update 😎
ok another update. I gave in.
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..
So yeah this was the most dramatic thread I've ever been apart of and the most rollercoaster-y two weeks ever but I'm happy and HOPEFULLY no more rollercoasters for awhile but again you never know what will happen next week, lol
At least you know what to do and won't be so dramatic again when that happens lol
I personally hope this doesn't happen again though to this degree lol. Yeah I definitely won't overreact next time.
You were right after all!click to expand
Not Nick or whoever come across between you and him.
Why? Cause your man is your BEST FRIEND (:
Posted by AerialViewLol yup!! I am going to keep things more private and not tell people in my life much about my relationship so they stop causing drama lol.Posted by FitNebulaAlways listen and trust your man first.Posted by AerialViewTrue and it has always been a rollercoaster only not to this extreme 😱Posted by FitNebulaThe rollercoaster will always be there (:Posted by AerialViewThanks actually we are 100% together now (I think) lol.. he asked me to hangout a little after I posted that last update and he was so sweet and nice to me and I slept over and in the morning he cooked us breakfast and we just hung out and talked for a few hours but I had to leave to study for this huge exam I had earlier today. Last night he texted me to tell me good luck (doesn't seem like a big deal but the fact that he even remembered and made an effort was sweet coming from him!)Posted by FitNebulaNice update 😎
ok another update. I gave in.
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..
So yeah this was the most dramatic thread I've ever been apart of and the most rollercoaster-y two weeks ever but I'm happy and HOPEFULLY no more rollercoasters for awhile but again you never know what will happen next week, lol
At least you know what to do and won't be so dramatic again when that happens lol
I personally hope this doesn't happen again though to this degree lol. Yeah I definitely won't overreact next time.
You were right after all!
Not Nick or whoever come across between you and him.
Why? Cause you're man is your BEST FRIEND (:
click to expand
I’m glad I didn’t listen to a lot of people who told me to ignore him and not give him a second chance. I’d be kicking myself if I had done that. I want to be with him and that’s more important to me than being prideful!
People all have faults and stuff they need to work on... it just depends if you want to deal with it or not and I do
Posted by AerialViewPosted by FitNebulaAlways listen and trust your man first.Posted by AerialViewTrue and it has always been a rollercoaster only not to this extreme 😱Posted by FitNebulaThe rollercoaster will always be there (:Posted by AerialViewThanks actually we are 100% together now (I think) lol.. he asked me to hangout a little after I posted that last update and he was so sweet and nice to me and I slept over and in the morning he cooked us breakfast and we just hung out and talked for a few hours but I had to leave to study for this huge exam I had earlier today. Last night he texted me to tell me good luck (doesn't seem like a big deal but the fact that he even remembered and made an effort was sweet coming from him!)Posted by FitNebulaNice update 😎
ok another update. I gave in.
I responded to his "I think I can do that" text and I just said "Okay 🙂" and he said "What does that mean?" and I said "it means OK we can see what happens" and he said "OK cool 😄"
THen I told our mutual friend we are back on (the mutual friend who was his friend first but we've become really good friends too) and I told him to tell me if he does any shady stuff (cuz he was the one who initially told me about the other girl) and he read my message and didn't respond! So now I'm paranoid that he knows something. OR he just resented me telling him to tell me if any shady stuff happens..
So yeah this was the most dramatic thread I've ever been apart of and the most rollercoaster-y two weeks ever but I'm happy and HOPEFULLY no more rollercoasters for awhile but again you never know what will happen next week, lol
At least you know what to do and won't be so dramatic again when that happens lol
I personally hope this doesn't happen again though to this degree lol. Yeah I definitely won't overreact next time.
You were right after all!
Not Nick or whoever come across between you and him.
Why? Cause you're man is your BEST FRIEND (:
click to expand
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