Bitter /Sweet Conclusion

Everyone here knows the story about me and my scorp friend. Initially casual, then he turned stalker and possessive controling maniac, I cut off all ties, he came back like he had some sense, we became friends and the recent months things got alot deeper and more intense. However because a number of issues, I realized that we wouldn't be an ideal couple in a serious relaitonship. Too many things going on in his life that won't work for me right now. This hasn't changed the way we care for eachother. Intitially he didn't agree and tried to convince me that although he isn't ready or available (time wise) for the type of serious relationship I wanted and he wanted to give me that he couldn't let me go. HE needed me in his life and couldn't "shake" me. Etc.He said he could feel himself wanting to have a relationship with me but didn't want to involve me in all his life's drama. Since then I had started to really fall for him. Because I know this won't work for me in the future it had to end. I am just happy we were able to end it amicably.

Here it goes....

My scorp friend and I spent a bitter/sweet weekend together and ended this thing. We spent t Friday night and half of Saturday, talking and pouring our hearts out to eachother, even a tear from his eye. Yup, but we decided the best thing for us both was to let it go. No Sex. He said he didn't want it to seem like he was just trying to sex me for the last time. He was trying to prove that no matter how much he desired and loved me that he respected me enough to not make our final connection a sexual one. Although he agreed. He said this would be toughest thing he had to do.

We cuddle talked kissed. He wouldn't let me go all night he kept me wrapped up in his arms, legs and anything else he could. Even when I went to the bathroom he wanted to know where I was for those few minutes that seemed like hours.

We had detailed and intense discussions. He expressed personal issues about his wife (who doesn't want a divorce-they have lived apart and been separated for 3 years.) won't let him go and want to make things work. He says he knows he would be miserable if he were to get back with her, but for his children couldn't 100% decide to get a divorce.

Then.. This was a little strange and he was VERY hesitant to tell me but he said, some things about me reminded him of the good in his wife and the way he feels about me, wanting to be with me and really wishing we could be together makes

makes him feel guilty. He said that my independence and take charge attitude reminded him of her and if he could desire me so much and want to be with me why couldn't he do it with her? He said, there is a lot of guilt on his part, because it wasn't fair for him to marry her and he really wasn't ready for marriage. So it is a heavy burden on his shoulders. He says he really doesn't know what he is going to do. If she would just let him go he said it would be much easier to move on. He says she knows he feels guilty and plays the guilt card and the fact that he doesn't want another child growning up outside of living with them etc, plus his wife is like a mother to the son he has custody of. Also she is very close to his mother and sisters. The two of them just can't seem to work it out.

I felt bad for him and reassured him he had a lot to figure out and being involved with me would only make things more difficult. That he couldn't be in another relationship really, even if he wanted to. Also, that I am interested in a relationship rather than a casual thing and I don't think we would be ideal for that in the future, because of some of his family issues as well as some personality clashes.

He mentioned that we were "too compatible" meaning, this made it hard for him. He couldn't believe how easy going and understanding I was with him, even his faults. Also that I didn't take his shit. I kept him in line (his words).

Then.... Saturday night a mutual friend of ours had a birthday dinner party. He wasn't sure if he would be there and I was very late. He was there. I walked by spoke and mingled, he left shortly after. I called him when everyone was going to the after party, he was short and kind of irritated. I rode with my g/f. I told him I didn't drive, if he wanted to take me home. He aid he wasn't in the area and was dropping a couple people off. Little did he know I was already at the afterparty outside, which is a block from his house. Funny my g/f and I rode past him I waved. He called and said he was going to drop one more person off (his best friend) and he would call me to see if I was still in the area and take me home. I stayed at the afterparty for about an hour, never heard from him, then my g/f and I went to a party one of my boyz was having near my house at one of my favorite restaurant lounges. Never heard a word that night or Sunday. Monday morning 3 missed calls back to back. Didn't answer. Monday afternoon he called my job I was going to a meeting and I answered and told him I was on my way to a meeting. He said he would call when he got off.

Honestly, I don't want to talk to him right now. I didn't appreciate what he did Sat night and I think I need some space from him just to put things back into the "just friends" prospective. I am not so gone that I am too emotional to only be friends, but he is sooo intense and I fear he will go back on our decision and I don't want to do this back and forth thing. I just don't.

What y'all think about this? Scorpio_rising? 2ndchapter, Roxi? Others?

*So it is a heavy burden on his shoulders. He says he really doesn't know what he is going to do. If she would just let him go he said it would be much easier to move on.*

I wonder if it would help to point out that this means he is giving her control of the situation? He is trying to get out without the guilt of being the one to end it. I suppose if he cared *enough* about you, he would get on and do that (though you are right to be wary of rebound stuff). I've done that myself - it's been clear to me that I needed out but I left it till the other person realised. I always used to say I'd rather be dumped (when I know the end is coming! Otherwise it's a different matter)which I now see as immature. Responsibility means darin to finsih it when it's over. He's not ready to do that, so you rightly perceive he's not ready for YOU. One day he MAy be, however. Perhaps you can play your part in the process by being the one to walk away from HIM. Tell him you see that he needs space to make and carry through his decisions with his wife, and you are goin to give him that space. Maybe set a time in a few weeks when you two will meet up for a coffee and talk things over again.

I wouldn't write him off, because you come across as a strong woman who wouldn't be confused by a man unless he was pretty damn nearly The One. Timing can suck. It can also change. BUT he needs to sort his marriage out on his own, and if he needs to walk away then he must do that. I feel he is more likely to do that if YOU are firm and let him know you're not hanging round.

Yes, I do think you may have accidentally given him a mixed message, but it's okay - just politely, respectfully GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!! - for a few weeks at least.

I can't shake a deep-down 'good feeling' about this, QS, but it will take time, patience and space. Dare to do it - if he's right for you it's going to be worth the wait...

***I felt bad for him and reassured him he had a lot to figure out and being involved with me would only make things more difficult. That he couldn't be in another relationship really, even if he wanted to. Also, that I am interested in a relationship rather than a casual thing and I don't think we would be ideal for that in the future, because of some of his family issues as well as some personality clashes.***

Thanks for your comments. Per my message above. I did end the involvement and we agreed to be friends.

He has taken me home before without having sex when we were involved, so I didn't think it was a big deal since I didn't drive and he was in the area, my g/f wanted to go elsewhere, but changed her mind when he didn't call.

So yes, I know I am making the right decision and I am just glad he finall agrees.

Sagigoat, you are correct, I don't expect him to turn his feelings off from me and I can't turn mine off for him overnight. So, yes as mentioned, I don't think I can be in contact with him for awhile, hence, me not answering his calls this morning. He is way emotional and I am too, just maybe not on the same level.

SAV, I really don't want him to chose me over his wife and his life. Timing and other things are not right, I really don't think we will be good in a serious relationship in the long run, so that isn't an option for me.

He is just a really good person and I really care for him and may love him on some level, but this isn't right for me. He now understands that. It doesn't mean I don't miss him though. The tough decisions we make in life that we know are the right decisions. 😢

Thanks again guys, this is just gonna be a little hard for me.

Whadda I think.... let's see.

While you can be pissed off at Saturday's events, it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. You guys had a falling out, and he was probably impacted by it to not want to talk with you on Saturday. Needing space.

I hope what you're trying to say is that you didn't want to talk to him on Monday because you guys broke it off on Friday/Saturday, but that doesn't sound like the case. You're pissed off about Saturday night, when in reality, Saturday night is meaningless. If you really want to end it, you should not want to talk to him because you've both decided that's it.

I'm afraid your obsessing about Saturday evening's events means you're still not ready to let go. He's not ready for you. You already know that, but you just can't let go.

"we agreed to be friends."

I admire anyone who can ACTUALLY do that. Didn't you agree to be friends a while back and ended up getting closer and closer and right back to square one?

You say he's not the one and so on. If that is really true, nothing will change with this man until you completely let go of this friends malarky and cut him off for good. Find the man you want to be having these close sessions with in a relationship.

As long as you hang on to you and him being friends, a month from now you'll be singing the same tune about how you're even closer than before...etc etc.

You're falling in love with him and you don't even know it. You will get very hurt because he's not leaving his wife. I mean...a man comparing me to his wife and saying I remind him of her? That's an insult. He's just going through a rough patch in his marriage and you're filling in. He sounds very weak and he's used you to cope - to gather strength so to speak before running back to that wonderful wife of his that is close to his family.

"He said that my independence and take charge attitude reminded him of her and if he could desire me so much and want to be with me why couldn't he do it with her? He said, there is a lot of guilt on his part, because it wasn't fair for him to marry her and he really wasn't ready for marriage. So it is a heavy burden on his shoulders. He says he really doesn't know what he is going to do. If she would just let him go he said it would be much easier to move on. He says she knows he feels guilty and plays the guilt card and the fact that he doesn't want another child growning up outside of living with them etc, plus his wife is like a mother to the son he has custody of. Also she is very close to his mother and sisters. The two of them just can't seem to work it out."

That's the bit where he's just playing you for a fool. He wasn't ready for marriage and it wasn't fair for him to marry her——— LMAO. Did somebody have a gun to his head?

My advice to you would be to get out now...and cut all ties.

***I hope what you're trying to say is that you didn't want to talk to him on Monday because you guys broke it off on Friday/Saturday***

This is exactly why I didn't want to talk to him Monday, today, or for awhile. Not because I am so mad about Sat. night. Although I admit it was rude and unlike him. I CAN let go, it was my suggestion. However, I do admit, IT IS HARD. It isn't that easy since we have gotten closer, but I am doing good so far.

Case in point. He called just now from an unknown number, on my work phone... So... Ofcourse I answered didn't know it was him ofcourse. He just said hi and that he was sorry about the way he acted Saturday and wanted to know how I was. I just said I am fine and Sat. did offend me, but I understand the situation is tough for us both and that we should probably give eachother talking breaks and not see eachother at all even for coffee or on a friendship level for awhile, just so we can get our composure together and try and be friends after these emotions are in check.

Wouldn't you know he had a fit... Stated that he was in control, went on about what I was wearing at the party my dress was kind of tight, but you looked good(uhh it was knit) and how guys were just looking at me, blah, blah, blah. It rubbed him the wrong way and he got into it with someone at the party that night before I got there, and he was already pissed of and this is why he left.

I said, this is exactly why we need space. I don't belong to you. You don't have the right to judge what I wear (trust me, I am not some slutty dresser. I am 36 for christ sakes) and I can't control who looks at me. THIS PEOPLE IS ONE OF THE PERSONALITY FLAWS I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO HANDLE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

He got quiet and said I was right and he misses just being around me, seeing me laugh and act silly, etc, etc. That sex was just a small part of the huge admiration he has for me...

Anyway, I told him to take care and I do care for him and miss him, but I can't do this yo-yo emotional dance and I really want us to be friends, but we need space first.

HE said okay. So we will see.

Thanks guys...

***You say he's not the one and so on. If that is really true, nothing will change with this man until you completely let go of this friends malarky and cut him off for good. Find the man you want to be having these close sessions with in a relationship.***

Newbie, you must not know the whole story, I have posted other threads regarding this involvement. We started on the same page casual. I was separated from my husband and he from his wife, neither of us was looking for a serious relationship and started hanging out. Yes, I cut off the casual thing, because he started getting all possesive and jealouse and we were only casual, then he started coming around and we do wind up at the same places he apologized and started atleast acting like he had sense so this is how we started again. Then, at a point I decided 3 years was enough of casual relationships and I wanted something serious. I knew he wasn't the one. So being fair I explained this to him and let him know if Mr right came along our involvement would end.

The thing with his wife is, the points he compared us on was two of the good things she had similar to me. There are so many crazy things about her he can't seem to live with... Like on other threads I went into detail. Just from stories I heard from him and another mutual friend of ours about his wife. She has done some things I would never do, which probably has to do with maturity levels. However, I don't doubt that he drove her to do some of the things she has done. This is most likely the case.

So, it is irrelevent about his wife and whatever is going on because there was never any intent of a serious relationship between us. We got closer without realizing it was happening.

Also, we won't end up here like last time because we now want different things. I am truly still friends with 2 ex boyfriends and 1 ex involvement (casual partner) so I am very capable of doing the friend thing afterwards. If he isn't then we won't be.

qs- whatever you'll do is right for you and we're here to support you

Ariesgirl, I know you guys will. Me being a scorp, I can take blunt critisism from my fellow scorps. I appreciate all opinions, even if they disagree. This is just another mile stone in the many I have had in my life. Some a lot bigger than this.

QS


I am still close with two virgo guys who are both married but I would never go back to them if they came to me today asking to have something special.

I am not going to voice an opinion about your situation you sound like you have it under control and you are going to do what you feel is best regardless so my 2 cents is irrelevent.

Thanks Scorpionlady... And thanks everyone else. This is a great support mechanism here. Yay DXP!!!

qs-you so right about the support that dxp offers. who would guess? i'd probably walked out on my scorp by now

Ariesgirl, and how is that going for ya?

still same. i think i might scared him a little the other day. i had a mood swing that made me sad and i pulled back a bit. i think that made him uncomfortable but i reassured him it wasn't him. he has to see that i can be in a bad mood sometimes too since i'm human. i've seen him pretty snippy himself. haven't heard from him in the past couple of days. did you read the relationship advice i posted? it came from a book. pretty interesting stuff

Yeah, I read it and posted that it didn't work for my marriage. I put forth effort when I no longer desired to do so to save my marriage. He didn't change. I did. He didn't.

"what scorpio_rising said. it was what i said but i didn't say it well as i am still trying to relocate my brain cells from the weekend's abuse of them"

Did you mutate into a Pisces?

^^^ Thank you Jack Doniel !!!

I thought I was the only one who could see that.

***He has too much drama and you are trying to be a friend, but your heart is hurting for a solid relationship.****

Very true Kenny G.

***So my only advice to you would be to come to the understanding together, that what you've been through til last Friday was a serious relationship and then make a decision on that. ****

Jockdaniel, I can agree that it was a relationship of a sort, but not a serious one? Right? I mean, we weren't in a commitment. I went on dates with others. However he was my only sexual partner. So I call that a casual relationship or friendship. We had not commitment expectations although you are right things felt that way emotionally and spiritually to an extent. But were they really? I don't think so. It is over whatever it was and now I need space and maybe we will be friends again in the future.

***the usage of 'friend' irked me as well, but i thought may be in todays world its valid in common usage for lovers in denial.***

Uhh, have any of you heard the term "Friends with Benefits" that does exist. This being one, that might have gotten a little deeper emotionally than the norm. NO COMMITMENT means NO SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP... Hello people. There is and never was any expectations of a long life together a future, marriage, children etc. So NO it WASN't a serious commited relationship in my book.

"but i thought may be in todays world its valid in common usage for lovers in denial."

LOL. It is.

"So NO it WASN't a serious commited relationship in my book."

In that case, get over it.

I don't mean to be harsh but I really think you should take jack's advice. You are soooooooooo in denial - and if you want blunt, honest advice, there you have it.

*** I don't mean to be harsh but I really think you should take jack's advice. You are soooooooooo in denial - and if you want blunt, honest advice, there you have it.***

What part of my continuous posts did you not get that I ended it? Seriously? Have you ever had a friend you had a fallen out with (not a sexual one just any good frined) and when it happened you missed them? Hell I am a scorp but I am human. I can miss someone I am no longer involved with.

This thread was an update. HELLLLOOOOOO I said we ended it. I said I needed space in order to have a friendship with him. WHAT DON'T YOU GET newbie really?

Lovers are lovers, we were that. We made love. Never denied that. However, there is a difference between FWB's, lovers and A serious committed relationship. Do you not agree? So I am assuming all of you on here only are aware of only commited relationships. If so you have a lot of living to do. There are other experiences that exist. Get real people seriously.

***He has opened up to her and from my perspective on Scorpio Males, that is a big deal. My opinion is in time they will appreciate that they have each other as friends. Even if they never have a physical relationship again, the mental one can live on. They need to distance themselves from each other, because of the feelings that were getting in the way.***

Thank you Kenny G. But it seems some people have only had one kind of relationship or connection - a Serious commited relationship.

There are so many other involvements with or without sex... Love and connections on many levels. We need a more experienced group geeze I feel like a teacher here.

"This thread was an update. HELLLLOOOOOO I said we ended it. I said I needed space in order to have a friendship with him. WHAT DON'T YOU GET newbie really?"

I get the part that you so obviously don't. But I'm not here to argue with you. If you think/feel you were in a friendship, then so be it. But if I were you, I'd try and take a step outside the box. I know it's not easy when you're the one inside it.

***i would still call its lovers in denial.the use of Friend,feels like i am abusing the sanctity of the word.its a holy word in my eyes,and using it for purposes which involve more than friendship,is like molesting my friends.i dont really bother with what the common usage is,or what the world in general thinks fit***

Interesting concept. However, if you have ever been in a relationship of any kind serious or not were they also your friend as well as your lover partner or not?

***I get the part that you so obviously don't. But I'm not here to argue with you. If you think/feel you were in a friendship, then so be it. But if I were you, I'd try and take a step outside the box. I know it's not easy when you're the one inside it.***

Steped outside the box. Everyones views are different. However I consider people who I care dearly for and do things for my friends. Friendships also come on different levels to me, hell my husband was my "best friend" at one point in our marriage. So there you have it.

"We need a more experienced group geeze I feel like a teacher here."

Being pompous isn't going to ease the pain you're so obviously feeling. You fell in love with a guy you didn't want to fall in love with...one you can't have and it's hurting.

Listen to yourself. Nobody goes through all this confusion, even down to insulting people (some of whom may be older than you) just for a "friend".

Your reaction is that of a typical scorpio. Lashing out at others to hide your own pain instead of accepting the facts and dealing with it.

And by the way, go back and read your own post. You weren't giving an update, you were asking for advice.

***then why are you so torn up?***

Because I am a person who values people close to me on any level. When I fell out with a g/f I have known for many years over something not so important that tore me up for a long time, because we had gotten very close, shared life experiences, secrets etc.

With him he was a friend and a lover and I am human, I will miss what we had intimately but know it isn't best this is why I ended it. If I was in denial and so obsessed it would still be going on. He was and still is a friend period. I have a friend now who I will always cherish who used to be a FWB, but we ended that and now we are really good friends. I even know his g/f. Clear now?

"then why are you so torn up?"

DC I suggest we let her be in her turmoil. After all, we're not an experienced bunch. We just don't GET it !!!

***Being pompous isn't going to ease the pain you're so obviously feeling. You fell in love with a guy you didn't want to fall in love with...one you can't have and it's hurting.***

This is partly true. I could have him all I want and continue to as he is alone at the momment, but I chose not to. I know he isn't a good long-term partner for me. Even if he didn't have the wife issue there are other reasons as I explained that we won't be compatible in the long run.

So, this isn't a case of a girl in love with a man who doesn't want her. True enough he might go back to his wife at some point and try again for the sake of his children. However that isn't an issue here. I didn't and don't see a future with us period. What we had now was just very special but not the right thing as it went pass what was expected.

***he has so much influence on you,that you write passages so long for it,yet you still say its not serious***

Yup as well as a ton of other issues with very long posts. Including my ex husband who I divorced. Guess I am just long winded especially when people don't get it. Oh, you should see how many hits and how long my posts were on the discussion of the book, "why men love bitches" on the libran board. You think these are long take a look at those. So no, the legnth has nothing to do with the seriousness of a relationship. Sorry dear.

Newbie, no termoil here, just human nature I miss involvements when they end. Simple I am sure you have especially when intimate. However as you can see I ended it. I am only still explaining as you and others misunderstand and I now see that YOU DON'T GET it as I keep repeating myself. So think whatever you'd like. I guess you never will get it. By the way what human would put themselves through termoil? Why don't I keep being with him if I want to be with him so bad and since this IS a serious relationship? Shouldn't I stick it out and expect a future since I think it is serious? No, because it wasn't and isn't and because I know he isn't the partner for me in the long run. So I ended it. However he is a dear person and we connected on different levels and I miss the day to day involvement. Which is beyond sexual.. So, one day if you happen to have an experience even close you will understand Cio...

Being pompous isn't going to ease the pain you're so obviously feeling. You fell in love with a guy you didn't want to fall in love with...

This is true.

***one you can't have and it's hurting.***

correction:

one you can have but know it isn't what you want or need and it hurts to end the good parts of the involvement.

"I could have him all I want and continue to as he is alone at the momment, but I chose not to."

No you can't. You wanna know why? Because he's pretty much told you he'd never choose you anyway. He's a MARRIED MAN. What part of that did you not get? He doesnt even have the balls to leave his wife, talking as if she's chaining him to her..."Oh God, if only she could let me go"...seriously...

I can't believe you fell for that crap. Anyway, since you know it all, I'm sure you'll be fine in no time. Ciao right back atcha !!!

"Which is beyond sexual.. So, one day if you happen to have an experience even close you will understand"

Yes...that would be my 20 year relationship with my triple scorpio.

***No you can't. You wanna know why? Because he's pretty much told you he'd never choose you anyway. He's a MARRIED MAN. What part of that did you not get? He doesnt even have the balls to leave his wife, talking as if she's chaining him to her..."Oh God, if only she could let me go"...seriously...***

He never said that. That wasn't ever an option. There was never a choice to be made. He was just expressing himself. I told him as I told everyone here. I DIDN'T NEVER EXPECTED ANYTHIGN MORE THAN A CASUAL RELATIONSHIP AND YES I COULD HAVE JUST THAT STILL... So. I never intended on any future anything with him so that was never on the table to begin with. Although in the past a month or so ago Peanutbrown can agree he mentioned that he just wanted to let end the marriage and try and be whatever I needed in a man. I told him he couldn't be what he wasn't and we wouldn't be compatible for several reasons in a long term relationship.

***I can't believe you fell for that crap.***

Fall for what? I ended it not because what he said about his wife and comparing her to me and the guilt that he could feel the way he does for me and he couldn't do the same for her. He expressed this a whole day later. So Falling for what when I ended it before this?

***Yes...that would be my 20 year relationship with my triple scorpio.***

Hmmm it would be sad you are with this person for 20 years and don't consider them a friend.

Jackdoniel, I agree with you 100% . BTW, I have been in a similar situation about a year ago. When I DIDN'T want a relationship at all (going through divorce) and because the guy fell for me I ended it, because that wasn't my intention. This is sort of the opposite. We both ended up falling for eachother which wasn't either of our intentions, so now I am walking away again. It saves worse heartache in the long run. It is all good. I know I made the best choice for me. I am sure this won't come up again. Things had gotten out of hand and I know with or without an wife he as a man wouldn't be the ideal fit for me accross the board as a future mate. Not that he isn't a wonderful guy, just not the guy for me and my future expectations.

Thanks JD, you are very wise. Hence you get it. No need to continue to explain to those who don't it has already been a waste.

"Did you mutate into a Pisces?"

Oy! OoooOOOOOoYYYyyyyyYYYY!

Kenny G you are absolutely correct. Hence, me needing to end it because it got out of hand. The line crossed... Feelings got deeper and he and I are no longer on the same page. I know better, don't want to lead him on to think that I could even have a future with him even if he was getting a divorce, for my own personal reasons. This is why when he bought up any idea of anything in the future and the possibility of "if he got divorced" I shut it down, because that isn't and option for me. I don't see us being future partners. There are other things beside the not being divorced thing.

Again, thanks, this is just a sounding board. I seem to always know what I want to do, but it is good to bounce things off of others to see different opinions.

* Wouldn't you know he had a fit... Stated that he was in control, went on about what I was wearing at the party my dress was kind of tight, but you looked good(uhh it was knit) and how guys were just looking at me, blah, blah, blah. It rubbed him the wrong way and he got into it with someone at the party that night before I got there, and he was already pissed of and this is why he left.

I told you before this guy is bad news and really controlling.

* He has too much drama and you are trying to be a friend, but your heart is hurting for a solid relationship.

Agreed. Absolutely agree.

What sort of relationship do you want? Write it down and ask if you are getting that from this relationship. I don't think you are. I think you are holding on because you want a relationship but this one aint it.

I KNOW how frustrating it can be dating and waiting. You just want the right guy and get tired of it all.

(((QS)))

I am pullin' for you.

* I can agree that it was a relationship of a sort, but not a serious one? Right? I mean, we weren't in a commitment. I went on dates with others. However he was my only sexual partner.

I think what they are saying is ... it doesn't matter what you call it. There was a level of intimacy beyond friendship. It doesn't matter if there was a commitment or no commitment or whatever ... it sounds like it was meaningful to both of you.

I think it is kinda hair-splitting and pointless to debate whatcha call it but there is my opinion ... everyone is right. lol!

* maybe we will be friends again in the future.

I dunno if this is true. I think his need for control and dominance will always prevent him from just being good to you.

Yeah, LS, I know, he isn't right for me. Sometimes we have to put our feelings on the back burner especially when we know IT ISN'T GOOD FOR US. Sooo... We will see.

Oh and yes, I started my list awhile ago... LOL!!! I will only attempt a relationship with someone who comes very close to that list LOL!!!

Thanks 🙂

lol!

It is so hard when you are in the trenches battling it out. You'll get there QS! You'll get there.

((QS)))

🙂

But when Damn it!!! When!!!!

Since our decision to end things and just be friends... There have been a few episodes, I don't care to get into. Although we have basically been able to keep our agreement (my efforts). We are starting to communicate less.

Then.... He out of the blue asks me "What if I divorce my wife?" WTF? I never wanted that to come up and hoped it didn't. I told him the most delicate way, that I still didn't think it would work. We should just be friends, that way we will have eachother in our lives a lot longer probably. LOL!!! He then said, I was probably right and went through the whole bit about me being too good for him, blah, blah, blah, which I thought was a guilt ploy. Didn't work. I said he should have more confidence in himself that he is a great person and that this is just bad timing for us.

So how did I do— Good right?

It is hard letting someone down when you know that they are not "the one" yet you still love and care for them. I hate this kind of crap. Ugggghhhh.

2ndchapter, I just read your posts. Thanks. I know all that to be true. I am sure he won't have a problem eventually reconnecting with someone else. Summer is coming he will be on that chick magnet motorcycle soon and with his good looks and charm. He will have no problem snagging one. Me, just interested in serious relationships now. I think I will have to cut up my playa card today! LOL!!!

***Do you honestly think he will be able to just snag another chick this summer when
he only has strong feelings for you? Do you really want him to move on to another
chick? ***

His he capable? Definitely! Will he? I don't know? Everyone has to fullfill their needs, whatever they may be. So, allthough we have this great connection and bond and care for eachother. It isn't going to work for a ton of reasons. He isn't the one for me in the long run. He was a wonderful person to be with right now. However, that is another story.

I know he will eventually end up with someone else or either reunite with his wife maybe, which he says is hard because he knows he won't be happy but feels guilty not to and there is an obligation and guilt hanging over his shoulders about it. He doesn't want another child of his to grow up without both parents in the same household and he has taken responsibility for his wife's daughter from another man as well. He has custody of his son (from another woman) and gets his oldest daughter every weekend and one day out of the week, also from another mother. Yeah, he was a playa... That kind of took me aback when I first met him, but I also had two step daughters with my ex husband, so...