NEED AN AQUARIUS' INPUT

I've known this particular Aquarius male 10+ years. We didn't, however know eachother on a deeper level than just kids growing up together. We always had a thing for eachother, more him than me actually. And we always ran to eachother when other people hurt us. And finally, a few weeks ago, we decided to try and take it somewhere considering we always end up together anyway. Well after 2 weeks of him being up my rear and calling me constantly and keeping me on the phone for hours, even after he had been with me the whole day. He started acting wierd and after 4 days I casually asked him if something was going on. And of course he says hes been thinking alot, and he's feeling wierd about the whole situation, and knowing me on a different level than before and how he thinks about it alot and wonders what to do next. So he wants to take it back to where it was before we crossed those lines and be just friends. And he made all the first moves and was the one pushing for a relationship in the first place. IM SO CONFUSED. Should I ignore him? Keep hanging out as friends?

I need an aquarius' help. I know you guys change your minds alot, and test people, so is this what is happening? I don't want to go back through this in a couple weeks when he changes his mind again. I don't want to ruin the 10+ year friendship.

Go along with what he says. Save yourself the drama and find someone else, knowing the aqua the friendship wont be ruined at all.

Thanks.
And if after spending more time with me and getting closer in friendship he decides he wants to be with me/shall I make sure im unavailable? Or just go along with that too?

Stay friends. When an aqua wants friendship that is usually all they want. The romantic interest may have been a passing thing or it may have threatened your ability to be friends and ultimately friendship will be most important.

what is it that you want—

when i first met my aqua, we hung out for a month and were close...then he told me that he didn't want a relationship...so i backed off, did my own thing, and met other guys. a month went by and then he started calling and wanting to hang out, and then realized that he DID want to have relationship with me. so then, we started dating...
but, the difference with my situation is that we were not friends before we started hanging out.

bri, he let his guard down & gave you a big piece of his heart. When we do this, we end up retreating into our mental shell to blow off steam for what we did.

He sounds just like me.

I think he really likes you. You got a very cored piece of him. He needs to recover.

Sorry to say this, but since he is just now at this stage, it's just the beginning. But, you energized his soul right back up for him. It's like we hide, use our energy, we then need to come out, seek the person that can make us feel good & then go back. Does he make a habit of this?? Has he been THIS way with you before? I'm asking because, if not, the next time he comes back he should be giving you a little more with each turn.

I'm not sure what your sign is. Aquas feel safest with ppl that we know wont suck the life blood out of us, which is very easy to do. SOmetimes, "Hey, where were you?" is even too much.

Please dont take it personal. Consider his actions a compliment.

If you have no problem with the wishy washy-ness, stick around. If not, not many can or understand it or even try, leave it alone now.

What is your sign?

wishy-washy-ness...i like that! but it is so true...

LOL thanx...it is true. Its up to you if you feel the persons worth the effort...ALOT of effort.

i know that the aqua i am with is definitely worth the effort...but i have put ALOT of effort into our realtionship over the years...i do it b/c i want to and i know that in the end it will all be well worth it!!! but, it does take a strong individual who can put up with a great deal of bs to be with an aqua man...take it from me 😉

Wow. Thanks to everyone for your input. It's kind actually pretty comforting.

I'm a sagittarius. And no he hasn't really done this before as we were just childhood friends. Like I said, we always liked eachother and I think maybe went to the movies and stuff like that back in highschool a couple of times on "dates;" but it was very on and off. Usually because of me, however. He lives 30 minutes from me so until we grew up, we never saw eachother. We had a falling out about a yer ago, when he ad an overpossesive girlfriend and everytime he talked to me it caused fights. So he ended up getting back in contact with me after he got rid of her.This was the first time we decided to try and date and see where things would go. They were WONDERFUL, actually. While they lasted.

I went and hung out with him last night, for the first time after he made this decision, and everything was fine for me trying to be his friend because that's what we always had been. But it seemed he had a little issue with it: at first he was even a little mean (even considering the fact he was the one that insisted on hanging out in the first place); then he wouldn't look me in the eyes, and kept talking to a very minimum.

Hey Briana, weve got the same specifics on the profile page.

So your a sag, this should be fine as you like freedom too. But give it time so he can be less awkward around you and give him a little space too if it continues to be an issue.

Wow that is wierd. I'm from Sarasota and am in school in Bradenton currently. What part are you in?

He was pushing to hang out tonight, as well. And basically, I'm "lame" if I don't hang out. And I know he hates confrontation, so I won't say anything about him acting wierd with me. But it is annoying consdidering he's the one who made the decisions, I've just been going along with everything. I'm so confused as to how I should act back to him, because so far I've just been treating him like any other of my male friends and pretending we never were anything else. Maybe he wants me to fight for him? Maybe he wants me to act really chill like I am and he'll get figure it out by himself?

Well i'm from Miami, but currently in tallahassee for school.

Your doing fine, just remain chill...for now. But "explore" your other options too.

bri...yeah, he is testing you...let the fun begin!!!

Haha thanks for you help.

Him playing games only makes me want to play games back. I thought I grew out of this BS.

no, no...he is not playing games with you. don't get the two confused... he is just testing you to see how you feel...so just be yourself, don't play games.

and i think the advantage you have with him is that you have this great friendship, which is extremely important to aqua's. plus, from what i have seen, aqua and sag make a great team...they have a strong friendship bond within the relationship which is a beautifiul thing!

"no, no...he is not playing games with you. don't get the two confused... he is just testing you to see how you feel...so just be yourself, don't play games."

TRUE
well done moonchild.

see, after 2 1/2 yrs. of being with an aqua... i have finally learned!!!

aquarius8i8- i hope you are right because i am dealing with the same butter from an aqua girl.

LadyM and Moonchild- i've read all this stuff about aquas and testing. Aquas may see it as a test, but the recipients see it as a game. In essence, what is the difference between testing and gaming? Either way the situation is being manipulated.

What up Scorpking.

Its a test because its just our personality, were not doing "on purpose" or trying to make your life a living hell 😛 Besides "games" is such a strong word 🙂

Seriously though...its not about you in the long run...its more about us.

Later!

LadyM- i understand aquas are not intentionally trying to make the recipient's life a living hell...nonetheless, it does and you know it 😉 also, you are doing it on purpose as a test even though it is part of your personality...at best, it is lack of consideration for other people...btw i'm not trashing aquas, just saying how i see it

😢
How long do these little "tests" last?

It seems now he is just trying to give me no hope. I tryed to talk to him about it so that he'd stop being so awkward. And all he could say was I felt one way and I changed my mind. "Sorry." YOU CANT JUST CHNGE YOUR MIND ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT THEN JUST SAY SORRY. He's got to be kidding me. And he'll admit that the only reason hes acting awkward is because its not the easiest thing just to be my friend....then why are you trying to just be my friend?? When less than a week ago you were trying to date me...
How long does this bullsht last— Honestyl, because I'm pretty patient but I'm losing it fast.

Just let him go...he'll eventually come back, most likely at the wrong time. 🙂
Briana its not you or your fault, its him. The quicker you move on, the quicker he comes back...thats if he really likes you.🙂

Scorpking:
You sound a little frustrated 🙂. I agree it's lack of consideration, but remember...UNEMOTIONAL...we dont get how you could feel some way, because we just dont (especailly in the begining). Empathy is not our strong suit in these matters. I dont like the word "test" either, but i'll take it.

Just let him go...he'll eventually come back, most likely at the wrong time. 🙂
Briana its not you or your fault, its him. The quicker you move on, the quicker he comes back...thats if he really likes you.🙂

Scorpking:
You sound a little frustrated 🙂. I agree it's lack of consideration, but remember...UNEMOTIONAL...we dont get how you could feel some way, because we just dont (especailly in the begining). Empathy is not our strong suit in these matters. I dont like the word "test" either, but i'll take it.

ladyM- i've been frustrated since day one 🙂 but less frustrated now than before. i was just thinking about everything i have read and how it does not make sense for decent behavior. in the end, you have to ask yourself if this is what you want. for me, it is what i want for now...so we'll see what happens

Well consider yourself "lucky", the girls aren't as bad as the guys...from what I hear on DXP. The women, like Prime would say, just run away period...if we didnt run from the start you should be fine.

Sorry Scorp, but im sure it will be worth it the end 😉

briana...all i can say is that if his behavior towards the situation you are in is bothering you now...get out!!! you will not be able to put up with it in the long run b/c his behavior will stay the same.

it takes a REALLY strong woman to be with an aqua guy...trust me 😉

...and if you are a strong woman, you have to show him that by being on your own and showing him that you don't need him around. then, he will most likely come back to you!

You saying that actually makes a little sense. Because he's always known me as very independent and strong-willed//the type of girl to really tell you how it is and to get over relationship stuff and move on really fast. I forced myself to be a little gentle with him because I always viewed him as sensitive and didn't want to hurt him unintentionally. (Esp since we had history and didn't want to mess all of that up.) So it seemed I was going out of my way to be really nice to him. Maybe that's what indeed has him so confused?? It's confusing to me however, because every other girl he has dated has been the sweet helpless needy type... maybe hes learning from past mistakes.

Either way I've taken all of your advice and have completely cut contact with him//even ignored a recent phone call from him. So maybe he'll see that independent side and change his tune. I'm already pretty much over it; besides missing hanging out with him alot. So even if he does change his tune now I may not be changing mine for some time. Thanks for all your help.

"then he wouldn't look me in the eyes, and kept talking to a very minimum."
This is a sign of attraction. You make him uneasy, but in a good way and he's testing his feelings for you to see if he can look you in the eyes and not get worked up. He probably knows that the moment he looks into your eyes, his feelings will resurface

"How long do these little "tests" last?"
He's an Aqua. These tests are eternal. Some people are made out for them, some aren't. It sounds like he's testing the strength of your friendship. One thing you need to do is not make yourself too available to him. Keep your own life separate from his, but also invite him to do things with you of which you share a common interest.

"And all he could say was I felt one way and I changed my mind. "Sorry." YOU CANT JUST CHNGE YOUR MIND ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT THEN JUST SAY SORRY. He's got to be kidding me"
No, he's not kidding. The good thing you have on your side is the fact that Aquas are friends first with anyone they consider having a relationship with. YOu have that established. BUT, he's still an Aqua and they still value their independence, freedom, and friends.

You also need to figure out how patient and understanding you intend to be with this guy. Aquas CAN be flighty, but once the commit to you, they do it whole-heartedly. Granted, it's hard getting there, but you have to be patient. If you don't think you can be patient, be his friend and let him decide when it's time, then you may need to move on.

oops, sorry...I didn't read page 3 of this thread. lol

Good luck to you, briana!

You guys are probably SO sick of hearing about this bullshit//but I took your advice and I haven't called him at all since this happened...I never called him to begin with cause being a Sag/ I understand the need for freedom and I don't chase anyone. Since then he's only called me like maybe 3 times. Once to "see how I was doing," once to ask me a question about his webpage, and the last time in which I didn't pick up/to "see what I was doing."
But what am I supposed to think whenI see him talking to several other females/seemingly trying to pursue relationships with them? I'm talking to several other guys myself/and he knows this/ but what the HELLLL he said he didn't want anything like that from anyone right now. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH this never ends.

Maybe he's just talking to them.

Looking for a "good time" perhaps, nothing more though.

Yeahhhhh. Well, he urks the shit out of me. And I can't let him or anyone else know that. So I'll be venting here quite often I think. Haha. (:

bri...so, he called you a few times to see how you are doing...what's wrong with that? it shows that he really cares about you, or else he wouldn't call you at all. i would take it as positive, if anything.

i also agree completely with unusualcancer...if he is not so quick to jump into a relationship with you, he certainly wouldn't do that with another girl, especially as an aqua!