baffled.....

well, my aries friend went off on me again. first for declining a dinner invitation last night when I had other plans (girls xmas dinner and he was going to a bday party anyway) and second because I refused to meet him for a drink when both of our parties were done. it was half past midnight and i was too tired so i went home. he called me and yelled at me and said he was done. i said "okay goodnight".

for the past 3 weeks I have invited him to lunch and he declined due to other plans each time. I also invited him out for a drink this past friday night (which he also declined). this is a busy time of year -understandable.....

anyway, he sent me a text this afternoon telling me not to bother with our preplanned lunch tomorrow. I answered back and said it was fine and told him to stop being an ass. several hours later, I was deluged with nasty texts from him. I didn't acknowledge any of them. they were too hurtful to reply to. to top things off, his last text said not to message him ever again! huh? I suspect his ego was bruised because I called him an ass and wouldn't answer any of his texts after the first one but really, I needed to keep my own anger in check.

was he doing this for attention or is he really an ass? I hope he's mature enough to reflect and realize that he's not totally blameless. this sux.

Hez an ass - all Aries are.

lol GA, they are not!

seriously, this makes things very awkward for the holiday season.

thanks dahling!

i'm just not used to that kind of display. he was hurtful to the core and used things i told him in confidence to insult me. being a fellow fire sign, it's difficult for me to ignore a lashing out like that. but i will keep ignoring him for now.

You have a very immature ram on your hands probably wants more than friendship --- I'll give him time to grow up ! whatever you do, don't give him the satisfaction.
His ego feels bruised so he will use things to bruise your ego - impulsive but also an eye opener for you I hope...
I had a Leo do similar to me 20 months ago...not spoken to her since then...life goes on, I know loads of Fire signs that do that --- hit really low impulsively 😢

He needs to know that's not ok...when you speak again, you may want to ask him why he felt to go there...if you want to help him think about it too...

yes zen, he does want more than friendship. I do feel bad if I hurt him anyway but I honestly did try to arrange to spend time with him over the past few weeks. seems to be if it's not his idea or decision, then it can wait. he needs to understand and respect that his outbursts can negatively affect others.

aa sweets, i'm leo.

I feel his text rants were disloyal because he got so personal. he betrayed my trust and that's what made me so angry.

hehe ardent,
fire burns after all, swiftly, the damage is done - fire put out >>> hence fire needs to learn that fire burns and once the damage is done, it stays for a while.



Should add the right element for a controlled flame, not uncontrolled.


yea that's where aries and leo has probs --- LOYALTY (and ego).
This means a LOT to leo...and other fixed signs too...
Aries is Cardinal but changeable.
It doesn't mean they're not loyal, it just means have no expectations - they'll take a knife for you, a bullet, whatever...but have no expectations...



Leo as fixed signs, take care of details to achieve control...if you're with someone unpredictable, then makes you very nervous.

thought he had a girl?

LOL@Z

this guy is abusive wow and an ass

he and the girl broke up zen.

he's not abusive tiki, he just immature sometimes and thought he'd try his hand at dominating a leo 😛

i'm over it. anger is gone. some distance will be a good thing!

distance will make him def appreciate you more !
have you broken up with yours too?

no he's abusive, dominating is a form of control...look it up sweety

she's not letting him dominate I think so hasn't got there yet.

they are women with a lot of pride like cappies and aqua ladies. they can't be in embarrassing situations so you can't know about it.... its not at abuse yet... bandwagon hopper 😛
she's still friends so good position to help his anger management if she wants...
tamara, he needs to know there's no chance of you two dating so he makes no demands...
whether you intend to date him or not, your business but he has to know he's not that relevant 🙂

she called him an ass which he is, he should chew on that and maybe some naked electric wires 😕

he is verbally abusive, why are women so staunch on defending assclowns, it doesn't mean he doesn't have good qualities but let's stop calling the elephant in the room a rat, he's abusive, a man that sends abrasive text is verbally abusive, see this is the thing, women make excuses because that would mean she would have to deal with the fact that she puts up with it and she's allowing it and then she would have to deal with the fact that she has to either get away from that person or deal with him as he is, friends can be invalidating and abusive, they don't have to be a couple to necessarily be considered abusive...when a man does anything that makes you feel bad inside, that is what they call emotional abuse, no matter if he said it out of rage and anger, it doesn't matter, the one thing I find is that most women don't even know what emotional abuse is, they see it, feel it and just deal with it because they don't know any better. To women it's challenging and I have come to find that these women are the most damaged because they go through life dealing with these kind of men and it literally kills the spirit.

All I can say is learn what emotional abuse is, learn what's healthy and unhealthy becuase if she knew she would have dumped mr.aries on his dayum head a long time ago

they were both abusive to each other... one yelled, one didn't-instead of stooping to his level, should have walked away, stop responding to him....there's still time to dump his ass - this is not the first time he's being so emotionally unreasonable so why do you put up with his crybaby bully acts tamara ?

yea but I take it he's not a young ram... hence should have learnt to get a hold of his outbursts... if he hasn't - he's not dating material least of all a fellow fire sign who knows exactly what sets him off.
he needs to grow up, friends are in a better position to help him not a girlfriend imo

I've come across 2 aries and 1 pisces dudes with similar displays as well as a leo and a virgo and a scorpio lady friends - after the first display, I never spoke to them or picked up my phone again when they called. shut door.
some are more subtle with the manipulations but when people raise voices, it really triggers my fire so have to leave them for good cos sooner or later, we all get into a yelling match.... other more productive ways to use excess energy me thinks *shrugs*

I love leos Kris but yeah I believe there are some wimpy leo's out there, I just can't really be around a leo that doesn't have any umph...just not right, it's like being around a sun with no shine, no brilliance and heat

"I've come across 2 aries and 1 pisces dudes with similar displays as well as a leo and a virgo and a scorpio lady friends - after the first display, I never spoke to them or picked up my phone again when they called. shut door.


That is exactly what women and men have to do, you can't make a person change especially if that person doesn't feel he/she has a problem, all you can do is not respond to that person and it has nothing to do with judging, it's about being emotionally healthy, maintaing healthy self esteem and loving one's self enough not to go down that dark road, I find per my own experience the emotionl-verbal abuse never stops unless the person gets help or gets old, one or the other or both.

tiki you're right, it may never stop that's why I say he's not dating material...he needs to see it as an issue and not make excuses for it and then work on it --- does tamara have to care about that, that's her decision...if someone wants to change, they have to do it themselves because they want to be better...if they do it for someone else, then sooner or later, will revert back to old self.


lol -kris - modesty is very ugly on leo you know...


All signs are subject to abuse,

for fire signs, aries and sag have no patience to hold things in, so you know immediately when there's something wrong...they'll talk to someone. Leo has to think of loss of pride - first before anything else so they won't admit it to themselves or any other on time - so I bet you Leos will talk about abuse on a place like dxp before real life friends know...

- Air signs intellectualise abusive situations and quietly start another life elsewhere while playing the unemotional card and never leaving the old relationship.

- Water signs really believe they can change people or nurtur or gently critique the abuse out.

- Earth thinks they can provide more materially to help your needs then in hopes to drive your worries away then no more abusive situation.

---- Abuse is also a very different definition for each sign - earth and water may compromise more as generally have the belief that they can cause people to change or know what's best for you. Air and fire, may talk but to walk the distance, no patience...

This is very generic and usually the worse forms I've seen but I've noticed similar reasoning in real life as well as on dxp and other forums.

"- Air signs intellectualise abusive situations and quietly start another life elsewhere while playing the unemotional card and never leaving the old relationship."

This is so true lol *holds head down in shame*

lol @ "she called him an ass which he is, he should chew on that"

I am not letting him dominate me tiki. zen has that point perfectly right. if you ask leokitten, she will kindly confirm for you that I am no one's doormat nor do I make excuses for someone else's bad behavior.

I am not dating him nor have we ever been involved as more than friends. I am still with the leo.

he yelled at me on the phone, I said goodnight. he texted me the next day and I called him an ass which no doubt set him off. my ignoring of his texts further inflamed him. we fire signs don't like being ignored.

Deivil is correct regarding the probability that a hot-cold approach triggered him.

as I wrote yesterday, I am over it. the distance will do us both some good. if we eventually become friends again great, if not, then I wish him the very best in life 🙂

lol tiki ! one is my sire


have to say it's a tactic I may have utilised once or twice *coughs & looks around*

love_365: thank you for sharing. your post was very insightful and touching. your self-reflection and self-analysis, reminded me that further growth in certain areas of our lives is a lifelong process which in turn enables us to gain a better understanding of others.

Archer! lady you are always so accurate i'm in awe 🙂

"you must have done something he was not expecting you to do.. or worse did not do something that he was expecting you to do."

wow! i did both..... 😢 i do trust the friendship will eventually weather this storm though. i also realized i need to improve my listening skills.

how was your bday lovely lady?

apologies AL, 'never' is a bit excessive like 'forever' - don't like both...guess I should have said 'doesn't always close the old relationship'

i'm glad you had such a wonderful b-day. there is no better gift than unconditional love and you certainly deserve that lovely!

you're right and every friendship has its scars. love your suggestion and i would sms him that message.....if he hadn't told me to never message him again. lol! aries temper!

i will reveal the moment he gives in 😉

"i will reveal the moment he gives in "

He should not - if hez an Ass.

I agree with Kris.

I agree with Kris - again.

Kris he and I have been friends for a long time.


"He should not - if hez an Ass."

lol Gaurav! i guess that will be the deciding factor in regards to his true character.

nope, no making out. we have only ever been friends.

I think us Aries have no feelings. I know I don't. When I want to hurt someone I do it at its maximum impact. But Aries then tend to regret things we do. We think of the consequences after the fact. Whereas our opposite Libra, you'll find thinks all logics before doing something.