My aries man's snapped.

My aries man told me to come take my stuff and go look for what i need somewhere else.
At first he was sweet, caring and i don't think i've ever connected with someone as deeply before.
Time passed and he just seems like he's lost interest. I feel like the image of me in his eyes has faded big time, and it depressed me and make hate myself, i always feel like I'm not enough, for him or myself. He could be blunt, arrogant and say really hurtful things when he's angry. He would snap really easily, and i guess i've been too playful/careless, and i always ended up saying sorry and explaininng myself. I think i voluntarily made myself a doormat, try to laugh it off, brush stuff off, avoid certain stuff just for the sake of a peaceful night. But i get restless from that.
I would come over every night, when he asks me to. in the morning he would leave first for work. i always suggest him to do less and less for me because i thought that's where the stress come from, but it stresses me out. overtime he's reluctant with everything.

He does try. He told me he never loses the love and excitement, he's just really bad at showing it. He said life is hard and us should be a heaven to enjoy, and he think we should be getting our piece out of life, but that hasn't been happening. instead we got caught up in crap that doesn't matter.he said he felt like i don't trust him, or have faith in us anymore, and i don't love him the way i used to anymore. He said he wants more from me, wants me to do my own things more, be my own person and less focus on him. Im a Gemini Sun, with moon Libra (clingy - a miss for aries, lol) Said himself he feel like an useless bag of nothing. I guess he tried.

Anyways looks like he's had it. And tired of me not making enough effort to step out of my depression. He hasn't answered to my texts. he turned off his phone while texting me last night. didn't reply until noon, only to remind me to come grab my stuff.

Is there any way to come back from this?

So did you ever ask him to come over and do things with you , and got rejected every time? So you let him be in control of you and when to go or stay or spend time, seems to me that is selfish and one sided only. And if you are only friends with him and are just getting the sex, you are just friends with benefits. So maybe he found someone else or simply you are not compatible. If you don't trust Aries then there is something wrong with this picture. It is okay to venture out and do what you want to now he said so,and he probably meant it and if he has any air placements he will just go..if he has fixed he maybe back and forth with this too which can be a headache for most.

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Posted by JemJackson
He said he wants more from me, wants me to do my own things more, be my own person and less focus on him.

Is there any way to come back from this?

Perhaps you made it too easy for him. As fellow cardinal, I would say he wanted more of a challenge. See, if you have your own life and do your own things, then your life is more exciting and there are things to talk about. When you do nothing but cater to him, it makes you less interesting.

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Assuming that nothing is being left out from your end as to why he's behaving this way, AriesLady8 pretty much hit the nail on the head. Here's where I don't agree though, you shouldn't have to remake yourself or try to be someone else. You are who you are and unless your behavior is negative or toxic (like lying, cheating, manipulating), you haven't done anything wrong. You need to move on from this guy and accept the fact that maybe you two just aren't as compatible as you previously thought you were. Find someone who likes your "clinginess" and whatever else about you that this Aries couldn't deal with. There's someone out there for all of us. The thing that a lot of people don't realize is that sometimes people come into our lives only to teach us a lesson about what we want and what we don't want or what we should and should never put up with. Sometimes we're just better off being friends with someone even if we love them. Based on what you're telling us, you two just aren't compatible. He wants someone who's different from who you are and that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. It's just not meant to be.

Once you learnt to accept the fact, does it change your perspective? and you'd feel much better, am I right?

But thing is you kinda love that person. There will always be questions of why. And during this period of transition, it is so tough, I guess?

Thank you for all of your input. It's really eye-opening for me.
i guess the way i've been dealing with his needs is wrong, i just want to make it as easy for him as possible. i notice too much about his action/reaction/attitudes/wants/needs and always freak out about me doing something wrong. and totally forget about my life and what i want too.
I took myself out of an emotionally and physically abusive 7 years relationship after i met him. but i still carry some of that insecurities and scars along with me and it's been keeping me to fully move forward and enjoy my life, and it affects him too, even though he's been really patience and understanding but he deserve to be happy after all..
i can't keep on living like that.
He got back at me and tell me he think we should give it another go and work on our issues together. Doesn't look too easy to be honest but i guess it's a new start.
Thank you so so so much again.

Posted by Capricorn180189_GS

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Assuming that nothing is being left out from your end as to why he's behaving this way, AriesLady8 pretty much hit the nail on the head. Here's where I don't agree though, you shouldn't have to remake yourself or try to be someone else. You are who you are and unless your behavior is negative or toxic (like lying, cheating, manipulating), you haven't done anything wrong. You need to move on from this guy and accept the fact that maybe you two just aren't as compatible as you previously thought you were. Find someone who likes your "clinginess" and whatever else about you that this Aries couldn't deal with. There's someone out there for all of us. The thing that a lot of people don't realize is that sometimes people come into our lives only to teach us a lesson about what we want and what we don't want or what we should and should never put up with. Sometimes we're just better off being friends with someone even if we love them. Based on what you're telling us, you two just aren't compatible. He wants someone who's different from who you are and that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. It's just not meant to be.

Once you learnt to accept the fact, does it change your perspective? and you'd feel much better, am I right?

But thing is you kinda love that person. There will always be questions of why. And during this period of transition, it is so tough, I guess?

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I think it's inevitable, this transition period. and i believe it's when all the changes that needed to be made finally happen, and then you're solid.

Posted by AriesLady8
I would agree with truecap. We NEED a challenge. Anything else and we become uninterested. We don't like clingy at all. Overtime it can give us a short fuse and we become mean out of irritation. Sorry. You should have created your own life with hobbies and friends. He would have admired this about you. This is all odd to hear because of all of your air. To get his attention again you would have to remake yourself over.

I was born at 22nd of may so i guess i'm mixed in a bit with taurus traits. i actually have to idea how to be a challenge to my boyfriend.. stop accommodating and just more with what i want i guess.

Posted by truecap

Posted by JemJackson
He said he wants more from me, wants me to do my own things more, be my own person and less focus on him.

Is there any way to come back from this?

Perhaps you made it too easy for him. As fellow cardinal, I would say he wanted more of a challenge. See, if you have your own life and do your own things, then your life is more exciting and there are things to talk about. When you do nothing but cater to him, it makes you less interesting.

click to expand

we do talk about things and discuss about a lot, movies, politics, art, people. i back down because overtime he seems uninterested, and he wouldnt share to me about what he actually care about. guess i could make myself more unavailable, but when he doesn't get enough attention he gets grumpy too. this is a fucking headache isn't it. maybe we are not as compatible like i thought we were.

i actually tried to change myself into what i think he likes, and always kept a radar on. it's very pathetic, i don't know who I'm trying to compete with here, ex girlfriends? when there's only me in the relationship, for almost 2 years. and it's me who got his attention, for a very long time, through a lot of hassle. He told me he wish sometimes i could just not give a f about him, and be thinking "he'll be alright, he loves me". I'm just terrified of being abandoned by him i guess, i chased after him instead of letting him chase me, which - now i know - is a huge mistake.

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Assuming that nothing is being left out from your end as to why he's behaving this way, AriesLady8 pretty much hit the nail on the head. Here's where I don't agree though, you shouldn't have to remake yourself or try to be someone else. You are who you are and unless your behavior is negative or toxic (like lying, cheating, manipulating), you haven't done anything wrong. You need to move on from this guy and accept the fact that maybe you two just aren't as compatible as you previously thought you were. Find someone who likes your "clinginess" and whatever else about you that this Aries couldn't deal with. There's someone out there for all of us. The thing that a lot of people don't realize is that sometimes people come into our lives only to teach us a lesson about what we want and what we don't want or what we should and should never put up with. Sometimes we're just better off being friends with someone even if we love them. Based on what you're telling us, you two just aren't compatible. He wants someone who's different from who you are and that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. It's just not meant to be.

Agree 1000% with OP.....if you are changing yourself to gain his attention, love and admiration, then you are doing the exact same thing over again...chalk it up as a loss and accept that you apparently are not compatible. There maybe things that you do need to change or let's just say, modify about your personality because no one likes a clinger or a yes man/ma'am, but you should never have to totally change who you are for love. When you truly love someone and vice versa, they learn to compromise and weigh the good vs the bad. And by the way, that's typical Aries behavior in case you didn't know. They are good people, but it's always about their ego and what THEY want and need. They figure they come first, and you can fall in line behind them. Don't allow yourself to be a revolving door for anyone.

Posted by JemJackson
i actually tried to change myself into what i think he likes, and always kept a radar on. it's very pathetic, i don't know who I'm trying to compete with here, ex girlfriends? when there's only me in the relationship, for almost 2 years. and it's me who got his attention, for a very long time, through a lot of hassle. He told me he wish sometimes i could just not give a f about him, and be thinking "he'll be alright, he loves me". I'm just terrified of being abandoned by him i guess, i chased after him instead of letting him chase me, which - now i know - is a huge mistake.

See, you're not being yourself and he has picked up on that.

And the fear, the fear makes you desperate and fear/desperate gives off an icky vibe. Fear makes us hang on more and that just smothers someone.

Actually I break up with women this way, and what he says is something I say exactly.

I've seen Aries women turn it round, and Libra. But with Libra I realise I want to protect them, I will fight for them. With Aries, the energy is so similar and they understand everything, they can fight fire with fire. With other star signs, I don’t know.

I know there is a way out of this for you, but it really depends if you want it, and if I give advice it might not be something you would do naturally so what does that mean exactly? I’ll try and explain how an Aries woman would do it, with fire.

Listen to what he's saying, the reason why he's upset will not be you. But he has doubts about the future, it stems from Aries commitment-phobe attitude, he wants to check you will be strong long term and someone who will fight for the relationship when times are in trouble (its why he says “piece of life”). You need to talk with passion about the future. It’s what he's telling you, it's not you, you need to stand up for yourself, it’s what he wants to see, someone strong mentally. And do not give a crap about making it easy for him, Aries are tough, they want challenges, not women who are worried about upsetting them. They don’t worry about upsetting people, so they won’t understand you.

He will be looking to blame you for the relationship, but turn it round and blame him, you are the lady he must protect, he is the masculine energy. You need to be more on the offensive, it's him, he's the reason you feel mad and you hate what he's doing to this relationship. Do not apologise! (it’s weakness and it is not attractive to Aries). Do not beg him to talk to you, as soon as women do this to me, I’m bored, if I’m bored, it’s completely over (I know it sounds immature to feel bored but that’s exactly how it feels). Do not chase him if he wants to move away, but start an argument if you have to, tell him you are mad at him, for what he’s doing. If you talk like an Aries, like he does, he will see the same energy. You need to turn it round so he is working for you, fighting for you. Aries will fight either way, if it’s against you or for you, re-direct the energy.

And going by what he's said, yes it's great Aries are passionate with words, and what he said will be true about the heaven and that he never loses the excitement, I believe he believes it in the moment, and although he can technically lose the excitement, its good he says it. Tell him you like it when he is passionate with his words, but actions show more love than words, and you want to believe your connection is written in stars, that you think you can be strong together (long term passionate talk about the future). Tell him you may be depressed because of your past, but you think he is the one that could save you, he’s the one that makes you feel happy. (Aries want to be the hero, he wants to be the knight in shining armour). Tell him you and him can make it better, that you are already making changes, but you think he can save you (don’t say the word help, it has to be the word save)… do not be a push over like the other women he could have done this too in the past. Tell him you are prepared to walk away if you have to, but you believed in love when you first met, tell him you think the two of you could be amazing, the love written in the stars, but right now, you are definitely mad at him. And you don’t even have to be, just tell him you are, and it’s his fault, tell him. Fight back!

And if you pull it back, ask him to do something for you, like ask him to take you out to dinner and he pays, choose an expensive restaurant. Something like that, tell him he needs to make it up to you, for making you feel mad and upset. It’s very simple. It’s his fault for putting the negative energy in to the relationship and not having faith in the relationship.

You basically have to talk passionately about the future, demonstrate you are strong and non-needy (willing to walk away if you have to), and tell him you want him to be the one to save you (you will make improvements yourself but you are the lady, the prize to be won and you want him to be “the guy who wins”). Talk like him. You have to swing your whole mindset round, do not be terrified, be fearless. He’s asking you to tell him what he’s telling you to tell him, it’s kinda obvious to me. And be prepared to walk away, if you go out fighting, you win, if you don’t fight, he wins and then he’s bored of you. If you walk away fighting then he’ll come back.

Posted by AriesJo
And going by what he's said, yes it's great Aries are passionate with words, and what he said will be true about the heaven and that he never loses the excitement, I believe he believes it in the moment, and although he can technically lose the excitement, its good he says it. Tell him you like it when he is passionate with his words, but actions show more love than words, and you want to believe your connection is written in stars, that you think you can be strong together (long term passionate talk about the future). Tell him you may be depressed because of your past, but you think he is the one that could save you, he’s the one that makes you feel happy. (Aries want to be the hero, he wants to be the knight in shining armour). Tell him you and him can make it better, that you are already making changes, but you think he can save you (don’t say the word help, it has to be the word save)… do not be a push over like the other women he could have done this too in the past. Tell him you are prepared to walk away if you have to, but you believed in love when you first met, tell him you think the two of you could be amazing, the love written in the stars, but right now, you are definitely mad at him. And you don’t even have to be, just tell him you are, and it’s his fault, tell him. Fight back!

And if you pull it back, ask him to do something for you, like ask him to take you out to dinner and he pays, choose an expensive restaurant. Something like that, tell him he needs to make it up to you, for making you feel mad and upset. It’s very simple. It’s his fault for putting the negative energy in to the relationship and not having faith in the relationship.

You basically have to talk passionately about the future, demonstrate you are strong and non-needy (willing to walk away if you have to), and tell him you want him to be the one to save you (you will make improvements yourself but you are the lady, the prize to be won and you want him to be “the guy who wins”). Talk like him. You have to swing your whole mindset round, do not be terrified, be fearless. He’s asking you to tell him what he’s telling you to tell him, it’s kinda obvious to me. And be prepared to walk away, if you go out fighting, you win, if you don’t fight, he wins and then he’s bored of you. If you walk away fighting then he’ll come back.

Hi AriesJo. Thank you so much for your input. So many thing i didnt know how to figure out for myself.
I find it hard sometimes to balance out between standing up for myself and being selfish/rude. I respect him when he said he doesnt want to deal with it, i would try but sometiems feel like im not strong enough to pick up the battle. He always bottle up his feelings, and the more i try the more he hides it. I dont want to live like this but i still want to fix it. Because whe

Because when it's good it's so good. And he said 80% of his frustrations comes grom work, but i dont factor that in at all. He could be really switf with his words though.
We've been back together for a while. Sometimes i have trouble finding a balance between standing up for myself and being unreasonable, or offending someone. I dint want to live like this anymore, it's a shitty place to be in, i can focus in anything else when he's ignoring me. Dont know why it could get so bad. He would say he's tired of protecting me. Tired of being there for me. I guess i should just accept it and let go.

So glad to know that im not insane for feeling like this. I cant keep apolosising for being myself.

Aries men are into woman who like playing hard to get, Libra/gemini are too available with little to life

Yeah i guess it's not meant to be. I shouldnt be with someone who take my feelings toward them for granted. I cant pretend to play hard to get because that's just not my nature, and i only ignore people who im not interested in. So i guess this is a blow.

did you throw a brick through his window?

Fucking fix yourself. It's obvious.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Fucking fix yourself. It's obvious.

I totally agree. And i have been. But everytime we argue he pull the same excuse blaming me for this and that, something i've done like 9 months ago and tell me that's when it's fallen apart. Every single time. It's not fair nor constructive. if he couldnt get over it why be involve 9 months on. I feel stuck and stupid

Posted by JemJackson

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Fucking fix yourself. It's obvious.

I totally agree. And i have been. But everytime we argue he pull the same excuse blaming me for this and that, something i've done like 9 months ago and tell me that's when it's fallen apart. Every single time. It's not fair nor constructive. if he couldnt get over it why be involve 9 months on. I feel stuck and stupid

click to expand

Sounds like you shouldn't be attempting relationships at the moment, dear. You're treating this thing as if it's your own personal therapy and he sounds like he's sick of it.

You both are stuck on stupid for staying together when this is clearly not working.

You both shouldn't be together. Sounds like an incompatibility issue.

He called it off last week. I felt like it's the right thing to do. So i just focus on work and not contact him. You're right, it's a compatible issue. I felt happier and a lot less stressed when i dont have to worry about him or losing this relatiohship for what i mihght do wrong. I just got on with work, hang out with friends, simple stuff like having lunch and focus more on the stuff ive been neglecting. He started to contact me saying it's really shit, us being away and such. I didnt reply because i honestly have absolutely nothing to say, no idea. Then he said he still have the trust in us and in me, but i know it'll just fall back to the old rotting problems and routine. He might feel itchy for a few days and it'll go away. I dont know if it could work ever again.

Posted by JemJackson
My aries man told me to come take my stuff and go look for what i need somewhere else.
At first he was sweet, caring and i don't think i've ever connected with someone as deeply before.
Time passed and he just seems like he's lost interest. I feel like the image of me in his eyes has faded big time, and it depressed me and make hate myself, i always feel like I'm not enough, for him or myself. He could be blunt, arrogant and say really hurtful things when he's angry. He would snap really easily, and i guess i've been too playful/careless, and i always ended up saying sorry and explaininng myself. I think i voluntarily made myself a doormat, try to laugh it off, brush stuff off, avoid certain stuff just for the sake of a peaceful night. But i get restless from that.
I would come over every night, when he asks me to. in the morning he would leave first for work. i always suggest him to do less and less for me because i thought that's where the stress come from, but it stresses me out. overtime he's reluctant with everything.

He does try. He told me he never loses the love and excitement, he's just really bad at showing it. He said life is hard and us should be a heaven to enjoy, and he think we should be getting our piece out of life, but that hasn't been happening. instead we got caught up in crap that doesn't matter.he said he felt like i don't trust him, or have faith in us anymore, and i don't love him the way i used to anymore. He said he wants more from me, wants me to do my own things more, be my own person and less focus on him. Im a Gemini Sun, with moon Libra (clingy - a miss for aries, lol) Said himself he feel like an useless bag of nothing. I guess he tried.

Anyways looks like he's had it. And tired of me not making enough effort to step out of my depression. He hasn't answered to my texts. he turned off his phone while texting me last night. didn't reply until noon, only to remind me to come grab my stuff.

Is there any way to come back from this?

Get up, get dressed not overly dressed or anything, walking in and get your stuff and leave smiling and say thank you with a wink.