Zlarb
@Zlarb
9 Years
Comments: 12 · Posts: 94 · Topics: 2
Anyone that is or has been in a long term relationship...
Hmmm.
I've been almost 30 years with my Aqua sun/Aqua venus. I'm Leo sun/Libra venus.
We used to ALWAYS have that unbridled LUST for each other, and that lasted for 5 or 6 years.
Now, it happens in fits and starts, and whenever it happens we tell each other we have to keep it going. But life gets in the way, our individual priorities take over, and we tend to let it slide until next time. We are much *closer* now though. In a more meaningful way, I guess you could say.
I think of it less like living with a sex machine and more like living with your best friend that sex makes even better, but it's not the be-all, end-all of the relationship.
It's totally natural to be as excited about some random chore being done as you used to be about ripping off clothes and getting down. In fact, I find that the more banal stuff he does, the more turned on I get. Go figure.
I've been almost 30 years with my Aqua sun/Aqua venus. I'm Leo sun/Libra venus.
We used to ALWAYS have that unbridled LUST for each other, and that lasted for 5 or 6 years.
Now, it happens in fits and starts, and whenever it happens we tell each other we have to keep it going. But life gets in the way, our individual priorities take over, and we tend to let it slide until next time. We are much *closer* now though. In a more meaningful way, I guess you could say.
I think of it less like living with a sex machine and more like living with your best friend that sex makes even better, but it's not the be-all, end-all of the relationship.
It's totally natural to be as excited about some random chore being done as you used to be about ripping off clothes and getting down. In fact, I find that the more banal stuff he does, the more turned on I get. Go figure.
Posted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Posted by SeraphlightI don't think I came off the right way, I have a hard time making my thoughts clear. The sex is great, and my libido hasn't waned on me yet lol. What my relationship feels like it's lacking is that overall passion in the beginning, and I can't help but cling onto it with fervor. I know it's unrealistic of me to hold on so tight, but I can't help but feel really nostalgic.
The spark might be there ..the desire ..you just can't stand the sight of him sometimes. The lust might stay but the libido goes down the drain. Does that make sense?
It's normal for libido to wax and wane. How you deal with is going to be personal to you as a couple.
Posted by Gem_from_VenusYeah, for the most part. We have our ups and downs and there are a lot of things we don't agree on, but we've learned to love eachother for our differences (well, most of them lol).Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.click to expand
Posted by sultrykittyThank you, that was really reassuring.
Hmmm.
I've been almost 30 years with my Aqua sun/Aqua venus. I'm Leo sun/Libra venus.
We used to ALWAYS have that unbridled LUST for each other, and that lasted for 5 or 6 years.
Now, it happens in fits and starts, and whenever it happens we tell each other we have to keep it going. But life gets in the way, our individual priorities take over, and we tend to let it slide until next time. We are much *closer* now though. In a more meaningful way, I guess you could say.
I think of it less like living with a sex machine and more like living with your best friend that sex makes even better, but it's not the be-all, end-all of the relationship.
It's totally natural to be as excited about some random chore being done as you used to be about ripping off clothes and getting down. In fact, I find that the more banal stuff he does, the more turned on I get. Go figure.
Him and I have always been best friends before lovers. But sometimes I really long for that intimacy or the way he'd look at me with so much passion - it's changed now, and I can't tell for better or worse. He still looks at me with love, but it's hardly ever the "I'm totally imagining you naked right now" and sometimes I wish it was like that lol. I guess our love has matured, or maybe we've just matured. Nonetheless, thank you for your insights
Was in a 6 year relationship and a 2 year one. The answer to the question for me is, the "spark" or "lust" that you feel in the beginning most certainly fades, but it morphs into a feeling of "comfort" and "reliability," which I'm sure you feel in your relationship.
You don't need to be with someone for 2 years for that feeling to fade, sometimes it happens quicker than 2 years.
I like the Louis CK relationship equation that he used at his stand up show this past Friday, "Love + Time - Distance = Hate." I think in any relationship, that's how it usually goes, but I'd replace hate with a different word. Comfort would be the most obvious one and IF the comfort runs out, then you know you're in a dead relationship most likely that you should get out of.
You don't need to be with someone for 2 years for that feeling to fade, sometimes it happens quicker than 2 years.
I like the Louis CK relationship equation that he used at his stand up show this past Friday, "Love + Time - Distance = Hate." I think in any relationship, that's how it usually goes, but I'd replace hate with a different word. Comfort would be the most obvious one and IF the comfort runs out, then you know you're in a dead relationship most likely that you should get out of.
I still feel the spark with my husband. For over a decade, we had sex on average, at least once a day.
We both have high libidos. But now, our libido doesn't match our lower energy levels.... which makes for a comedy of errors and good humor.
I'm online house hunting and looking for glass enclosed showers so I can watch him shower... and, he laughs but, he knows I'm serious.
I still get ready to go places to only have to get undressed because he's turned on... and vice versa.
We both have high libidos. But now, our libido doesn't match our lower energy levels.... which makes for a comedy of errors and good humor.
I'm online house hunting and looking for glass enclosed showers so I can watch him shower... and, he laughs but, he knows I'm serious.
I still get ready to go places to only have to get undressed because he's turned on... and vice versa.
Posted by ZlarbPosted by Gem_from_VenusYeah, for the most part. We have our ups and downs and there are a lot of things we don't agree on, but we've learned to love eachother for our differences (well, most of them lol).Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
click to expand
Are y'all tired?
Have little children?
Health issues?
Medications?
Nearing 40?
Posted by tizianiThe main reason why they say forgiveness is most beneficial to a person... less stress, hostility, lower blood pressure (high blood pressure being a cause of impotence and all.)Posted by Gem_from_VenusNail on the head right here for me and my experiences.Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
click to expand
Posted by VenusAquariusTired, sure. Otherwise no, none of that.Posted by ZlarbPosted by Gem_from_VenusYeah, for the most part. We have our ups and downs and there are a lot of things we don't agree on, but we've learned to love eachother for our differences (well, most of them lol).Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
Are y'all tired?
Have little children?
Health issues?
Medications?
Nearing 40?click to expand
Posted by tizianiI'm the same - I will always let my partner know how I'm feeling. And when angry or upset, I can come off as hostile. Holding back my temper isn't a fine suit of mine, definitely something I need to work on... but I think it's better this way than holding onto things and letting them eat at me from the inside out. I move on fast too, never holding grudges. Forgive, but never forget.Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by tizianiThe main reason why they say forgiveness is most beneficial to a person... less stress, hostility, lower blood pressure (high blood pressure being a cause of impotence and all.)Posted by Gem_from_VenusNail on the head right here for me and my experiences.Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
Good point. I used to say I saw no point to forgiveness or that it wasn't necessary to maintain a relationship, but I suppose that is forgiveness. You're right.
I don't actually hang onto things in personal relationships. I get it out and hash it out in whatever way I can, which normally comes across as insensitive and makes it worse for the other person. So I can improve a lot in terms of expressing myself.
It's women I've been in a relationship with that hold onto things from way back. Weeks later, months later... the same lines and speeches popping up. And right or wrong, you just don't feel like you can relate in the present with each other at those points. She's talking but you're just not feeling it. That's how it's been.
click to expand
Posted by tizianiThat's where being on similar understanding, or simple acknowledgement, of spirituality is important. Spiritually oriented conversations help healing. It's a whole other tone.Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by tizianiThe main reason why they say forgiveness is most beneficial to a person... less stress, hostility, lower blood pressure (high blood pressure being a cause of impotence and all.)Posted by Gem_from_VenusNail on the head right here for me and my experiences.Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
Good point. I used to say I saw no point to forgiveness or that it wasn't necessary to maintain a relationship, but I suppose that is forgiveness. You're right.
I don't actually hang onto things in personal relationships. I get it out and hash it out in whatever way I can, which normally comes across as insensitive and makes it worse for the other person. So I can improve a lot in terms of expressing myself.
It's women I've been in a relationship with that hold onto things from way back. Weeks later, months later... the same lines and speeches popping up. And right or wrong, you just don't feel like you can relate in the present with each other at those points. She's talking but you're just not feeling it. That's how it's been.
click to expand
Posted by ZlarbYeah, that's what slowed us down... lower energy levels... we're older.Posted by VenusAquariusTired, sure. Otherwise no, none of that.Posted by ZlarbPosted by Gem_from_VenusYeah, for the most part. We have our ups and downs and there are a lot of things we don't agree on, but we've learned to love eachother for our differences (well, most of them lol).Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
Are y'all tired?
Have little children?
Health issues?
Medications?
Nearing 40?click to expand
Slight kink helps... gently fondling each other to sleep. Don't always have to penetrate.... just stimulate to orgasm. Long kisses goodnight, body massages. Touch is very important. Just remember to touch... as often as you can... a butt pat, head caress, hugs, etc. Just stay warm and ready.
I have had 3 relationships that would be considered long term.
1. Sag 2.5 years and by the end I had zero sexual attraction left for him. I walked in on him once doing yoga....naked. That just killed it for me.
2. Cap around 10 years. He was a controlling, overbearing dickhead. By the last 5 years I would rather take a brick to the skull than touch him.
3. Libra 5 years. That intense spark and attraction never faded, not even for a second.
1. Sag 2.5 years and by the end I had zero sexual attraction left for him. I walked in on him once doing yoga....naked. That just killed it for me.
2. Cap around 10 years. He was a controlling, overbearing dickhead. By the last 5 years I would rather take a brick to the skull than touch him.
3. Libra 5 years. That intense spark and attraction never faded, not even for a second.
of course things fade with time but with time so much of what is important GROWS
you have to put in the work at maintaining important relationships
they flourish and so do you
you have to put in the work at maintaining important relationships
they flourish and so do you
Posted by Deedee86
I have had 3 relationships that would be considered long term.
1. Sag 2.5 years and by the end I had zero sexual attraction left for him. I walked in on him once doing yoga....naked. That just killed it for me.
ROFLMAO
Posted by tizianiYou asked alot.Posted by VenusAquariusCan you give examples of a spiritually oriented conversation? It would help me a lot.Posted by tizianiThat's where being on similar understanding, or simple acknowledgement, of spirituality is important. Spiritually oriented conversations help healing. It's a whole other tone.Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by tizianiThe main reason why they say forgiveness is most beneficial to a person... less stress, hostility, lower blood pressure (high blood pressure being a cause of impotence and all.)Posted by Gem_from_VenusNail on the head right here for me and my experiences.Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
Good point. I used to say I saw no point to forgiveness or that it wasn't necessary to maintain a relationship, but I suppose that is forgiveness. You're right.
I don't actually hang onto things in personal relationships. I get it out and hash it out in whatever way I can, which normally comes across as insensitive and makes it worse for the other person. So I can improve a lot in terms of expressing myself.
It's women I've been in a relationship with that hold onto things from way back. Weeks later, months later... the same lines and speeches popping up. And right or wrong, you just don't feel like you can relate in the present with each other at those points. She's talking but you're just not feeling it. That's how it's been.
click to expand
It's for relationships where both persons acknowkdge that they entend to spend the rest of their lives together. That elephant in the rooom cannot exist or has to die. Sometimes, that is the root cause of unwillingness to let go of hurts.
If you or other person are not spiritually oriented, you will appear insincere.
It's really about acknowledging the other person as an individual separate from yourself and the desire to be of one mind, body, and soul expressing the hurt caused as though it happened to you, the need to repair the hurt as to salvage or continue to nurture your connection, understanding and expressing how holding on to the hurt interferes with the progress in connecting and loving on another. Engaging in imagining how it felt, providing comfort, and expressing a dedication to their healing, no matter how long it takes... asking poignant questions showing that you are monitoring the process which shows your availability and dedication towards healing. Understanding and acknowledging that you will hurt each other by the sheer condition of being human beings and will need to heal each other as life and your relationship progress. Acknowledging that life may hold some challenging feets for you two as individuals and/or as a couple and you need to be there for each other for those struggles and that union is weak if you are acting as betrayers or hidden enemies of one another.
It goes deeper for my husband and I as we believe.
Posted by HarukkaPosted by Deedee86Lol
I have had 3 relationships that would be considered long term.
1. Sag 2.5 years and by the end I had zero sexual attraction left for him. I walked in on him once doing yoga....naked. That just killed it for me.
Was he fat?click to expand
Not at all. Just too goofy for my taste.
Posted by Pisco
I think that's normal for most couples. It will come and go in spurts. In my experience, it would kind of disappear for a month here and there, then we would have a really good few weeks, and so on.
It's hard to always have strong emotions for someone when your focus is on other things. Work will definitely take a toll on how someone is feeling. I've had exes (both 5 yr long relationships) tell me that I seem like I'm "not interested anymore", or "don't find them attractive", when in reality, work and school or just work has been so mentally exhausting that I just have no more energy to put into anything. I like you, I love you, you make me happy, but I want my time to recuperate and deal with everything going on in life at that moment. Maybe it's an Aquarius Venus thing, but Im not that expressive with my emotions towards people.
What's your sun sign if you don't mind me asking?
I tend to get like that too - asking those questions; "do you still love me?" or "are you attracted to me?". Actions speak louder than words, but when you're not physically showing me through your actions that you love me, what else do I have but your word for it? I don't want to drain him, or exhaust his feelings for me, but I'm kind of needy in the romantic sense, I won't deny it.
Plus he's Aquarius Venus and I'm Pisces Venus so you can kind of see the conflict right off the bat. Although he really does try when I say something, so I appreciate that.
Posted by tizianiPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by tizianiThe main reason why they say forgiveness is most beneficial to a person... less stress, hostility, lower blood pressure (high blood pressure being a cause of impotence and all.)Posted by Gem_from_VenusNail on the head right here for me and my experiences.Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
Good point. I used to say I saw no point to forgiveness or that it wasn't necessary to maintain a relationship, but I suppose that is forgiveness. You're right.
I don't actually hang onto things in personal relationships. I get it out and hash it out in whatever way I can, which normally comes across as insensitive and makes it worse for the other person. So I can improve a lot in terms of expressing myself.
It's women I've been in a relationship with that hold onto things from way back. Weeks later, months later... the same lines and speeches popping up. And right or wrong, you just don't feel like you can relate in the present with each other at those points. She's talking but you're just not feeling it. That's how it's been.
click to expand
I've never understood the hanging onto things method. I want to resolve things as soon as possible.
I was involved with someone who hung onto things, going way into the past. He also wouldn't tell me what I was doing that bothered him for a long time, then suddenly he'd burst out with something like, "You've done this 16 times!" He actually said that to me (that exact sentence, including the 16) one time, and I had no idea what he meant -- turns out he had been counting the times I did the thing that annoyed him for weeks. Why didn't he tell me much earlier so I would have a chance to not do the annoying thing and not piss him off so much that he'd blow? It was strange. I can laugh about it now.
The living together thing doesn't work romantically for me...it becomes too predictable and loses the edge
Separate houses and not seeing each other too much makes for a more intense sexual vibe but then again I have Venus in Scorpio......and as we all know, there is no pleasing her.....romantically
Separate houses and not seeing each other too much makes for a more intense sexual vibe but then again I have Venus in Scorpio......and as we all know, there is no pleasing her.....romantically
Posted by MyStarsShine100% relate.
The living together thing doesn't work romantically for me...it becomes too predictable and loses the edge
Separate houses and not seeing each other too much makes for a more intense sexual vibe but then again I have Venus in Scorpio......and as we all know, there is no pleasing her.....romantically
Posted by CopperDove🙂Posted by MyStarsShine100% relate.
The living together thing doesn't work romantically for me...it becomes too predictable and loses the edge
Separate houses and not seeing each other too much makes for a more intense sexual vibe but then again I have Venus in Scorpio......and as we all know, there is no pleasing her.....romantically
click to expand
Do you have Scorp Venus in the 7th too, Copper?
5 years going on 6 now
no.
we are still annoying lovesick puppies.
and um. Let's just say that if we want to make it to work on time, we have to get dressed in different rooms lol. If one of us so much as hears the other putting on their pants, the other goes racing over to harass them.
no.
we are still annoying lovesick puppies.
and um. Let's just say that if we want to make it to work on time, we have to get dressed in different rooms lol. If one of us so much as hears the other putting on their pants, the other goes racing over to harass them.
Posted by MyStarsShine🙂Posted by CopperDove🙂Posted by MyStarsShine100% relate.
The living together thing doesn't work romantically for me...it becomes too predictable and loses the edge
Separate houses and not seeing each other too much makes for a more intense sexual vibe but then again I have Venus in Scorpio......and as we all know, there is no pleasing her.....romantically
Do you have Scorp Venus in the 7th too, Copper?
click to expand
It's in the 6th house, but my Sun, Mercury and Neptune are in the 7th. My sun and Venus are conjunct, they're just in different houses.
I have a few friends who didn't relate at all to this view years ago when I shared it with them, but now they agree with it and want to do the same thing with partners to keep things as fresh as possible.
Posted by MyStarsShineHmmm, my husband and I work opposing hours...
The living together thing doesn't work romantically for me...it becomes too predictable and loses the edge
Separate houses and not seeing each other too much makes for a more intense sexual vibe but then again I have Venus in Scorpio......and as we all know, there is no pleasing her.....romantically
This happened to me in one of my relationships. We were together for four years, and the reason why it ended was because the spark faded out on my end. I just wasn't in love anymore, and knew if I stayed for him I would live a miserable life full of regret and resentment towards him. For this reason, I had to end it. Now keep in mind, we were very young (it last from the ages of 17-21). He wanted to get married and settle down, and at 21, I knew I couldn't do that. I wanted to experience life. I didn't want to settle down at the time. I was staying in the relationship mainly to avoid hurting him. I have absolutely no regrets about making the decision I made.
Posted by tizianiSag, but I totally understand why it would seem like the Virgo might do that. lolPosted by CopperDovePosted by tizianiPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by tizianiThe main reason why they say forgiveness is most beneficial to a person... less stress, hostility, lower blood pressure (high blood pressure being a cause of impotence and all.)Posted by Gem_from_VenusNail on the head right here for me and my experiences.Posted by ZlarbPosted by HareI won't deny, it kind of felt that way in the beginning. But not anymore.
Look up "limerence".
Is it a happy relationship otherwise? I think every relationship has some resentments that build up over time, but if there are too many of them, it can kill passion.
Good point. I used to say I saw no point to forgiveness or that it wasn't necessary to maintain a relationship, but I suppose that is forgiveness. You're right.
I don't actually hang onto things in personal relationships. I get it out and hash it out in whatever way I can, which normally comes across as insensitive and makes it worse for the other person. So I can improve a lot in terms of expressing myself.
It's women I've been in a relationship with that hold onto things from way back. Weeks later, months later... the same lines and speeches popping up. And right or wrong, you just don't feel like you can relate in the present with each other at those points. She's talking but you're just not feeling it. That's how it's been.
I've never understood the hanging onto things method. I want to resolve things as soon as possible.
I was involved with someone who hung onto things, going way into the past. He also wouldn't tell me what I was doing that bothered him for a long time, then suddenly he'd burst out with something like, "You've done this 16 times!" He actually said that to me (that exact sentence, including the 16) one time, and I had no idea what he meant -- turns out he had been counting the times I did the thing that annoyed him for weeks. Why didn't he tell me much earlier so I would have a chance to not do the annoying thing and not piss him off so much that he'd blow? It was strange. I can laugh about it now.
Lol that was the Virgo?
click to expand
Posted by SeraphlightLol, in this case my libido quadruples his. Although I would take him whenever, wherever, I don't want to force myself onto him. He can "get my fire going" when he feels he's in the mood for it, I don't want it to feel like an obligation or chore.Posted by ZlarbI think men have a higher libido than women.....tell him to get your fires started ...he's slacking!
Not really pertaining to astrology but I'm just looking for some insights here.
During your long term relationship (at least 2 years please), did you find that the "lust" faded out? I've been with my hubby for 5 years now, and I'm still very much attracted and in love him, but that initial spark that was there feels like it's now gone. In case anyone's wondering, by "spark" or "lust" I am referring to acts or feelings of romance. I know after awhile 'acts of love' change... in the beginning of the relationship I might have considered a massage or back rub nice, but as of now I'm just glad when he does the dishes or takes the garbage out lol. I'm just wondering from other people's personal experiences how their long term relationship played out - did the spark fade out? Is the spark still there (if so, how are you keeping it going)? What was different about your "acts of love" from the beginning to the end of your relationship? And women, does he still make you feel sexy?
And if anyone's curious, he is an Aquarius Sun/ Aquarius Venus, I'm Aries Sun/ Pisces Venus.click to expand
@tiziani
That could make it tough for the other person, true. The Sag wanted me to keep discussions about certain things to 5 minutes. For some things, that's fine, of course, and it helps a person be more efficient and cut right into what the crux is, but not everything can be resolved in that window of time.
Sometimes I think it's better to divide the discussion up if it's complex and potentially draining for one or both people, or even postpone it, particularly if emotion is high and it's hard for one or both people to be objective.
That could make it tough for the other person, true. The Sag wanted me to keep discussions about certain things to 5 minutes. For some things, that's fine, of course, and it helps a person be more efficient and cut right into what the crux is, but not everything can be resolved in that window of time.
Sometimes I think it's better to divide the discussion up if it's complex and potentially draining for one or both people, or even postpone it, particularly if emotion is high and it's hard for one or both people to be objective.
Posted by seraphPosted by CopperDove
The Sag wanted me to keep discussions about certain things to 5 minutes.
click to expand
Yes, and one must always be prepared!
Posted by tizianiPosted by CopperDoveLol I was just thinking today that my new guideline for myself is, if anyone is going to approach me with talk that goes over 5 minutes, then there better be a pizza involved in the deal. I become immediately more agreeable.Posted by seraphPosted by CopperDove
The Sag wanted me to keep discussions about certain things to 5 minutes.
Yes, and one must always be prepared!
click to expand
That seems fair. Maybe the better the pizza, the more minutes of time they can buy? Make 'em really work for it, right?
haha 🙂
Posted by ZlarbReally I would have thought this is normal and to be expected, the chemistry and connection is strong, the sex is meh after 5 years. It could be over looked but then again it's 5 years time to make a decision on that at this point of your life. If there is cheating no, if they are treating me properly with loyal and respect, then I could go another few years.
Not really pertaining to astrology but I'm just looking for some insights here.
During your long term relationship (at least 2 years please), did you find that the "lust" faded out? I've been with my hubby for 5 years now, and I'm still very much attracted and in love him, but that initial spark that was there feels like it's now gone. In case anyone's wondering, by "spark" or "lust" I am referring to acts or feelings of romance. I know after awhile 'acts of love' change... in the beginning of the relationship I might have considered a massage or back rub nice, but as of now I'm just glad when he does the dishes or takes the garbage out lol. I'm just wondering from other people's personal experiences how their long term relationship played out - did the spark fade out? Is the spark still there (if so, how are you keeping it going)? What was different about your "acts of love" from the beginning to the end of your relationship? And women, does he still make you feel sexy?
And if anyone's curious, he is an Aquarius Sun/ Aquarius Venus, I'm Aries Sun/ Pisces Venus.
I feel lust when I feel lust...most of the time when I'm on my own, lazy in bed, since my partner is already up and running since 7 am....
The lust for your partner of many years may fade out, indeed. However, what has this to do with sex? It's like saying, the roast beef doesn't make me salivate for one hour before it's ready...so I should skip dinner in this case 😄
Sex (and orgasm with a partner) is extremely important for your intimacy and the quality of your relationship. The future of your relationship may depend upon it. To leave such an important thing to something as unreliable as lust is pure madness.
As we say in our county: "the appetite comes with eating". Get on with it, preferentially at a certain time of the day and week.
If you stop having sex for several months...just coexisting, like siblings....waiting for lust to kick on, lol....you will never be able to have sex again with that person! Because your and their brains have adjusted to avoid sexual feelings while you two share a bed...it makes you believe you are siblings...Any later attempts will result in disgust, rather than lust.
So yeah...sex should be kept on the same level as eating, bowel movement and bathing. It should become a habit. Not at the same level as bungie jumping, diving and sky diving, lol!
The lust for your partner of many years may fade out, indeed. However, what has this to do with sex? It's like saying, the roast beef doesn't make me salivate for one hour before it's ready...so I should skip dinner in this case 😄
Sex (and orgasm with a partner) is extremely important for your intimacy and the quality of your relationship. The future of your relationship may depend upon it. To leave such an important thing to something as unreliable as lust is pure madness.
As we say in our county: "the appetite comes with eating". Get on with it, preferentially at a certain time of the day and week.
If you stop having sex for several months...just coexisting, like siblings....waiting for lust to kick on, lol....you will never be able to have sex again with that person! Because your and their brains have adjusted to avoid sexual feelings while you two share a bed...it makes you believe you are siblings...Any later attempts will result in disgust, rather than lust.
So yeah...sex should be kept on the same level as eating, bowel movement and bathing. It should become a habit. Not at the same level as bungie jumping, diving and sky diving, lol!
Mini vaca's are essential. Get away from work and responsibilities at home and focus on solely each other. The spark is still there, it just needs some tending to become a blaze again.
Obviously I came off the wrong way, my thoughts are really abstract and I have a hard time making them clear for myself, let alone to others.
The issue at hand isn't the actual act of sex. Our sex life is fine, it's the things like him coming up from behind me and kissing my neck, or whispering in my ear that he loves me thats lacking. I miss the passion, and those little things that he'd do. I can't even remember the last time he made me feel sexy.
I think I'm just too idealistic in what I want from him. Maybe this issue is stemming from my own insecurities, I don't know. I appreciate all the insights nonetheless, and it makes me happy seeing that a lot of you are in really beautiful relationships. It's encouraging, and makes me hopeful towards my future with my hubby.
The issue at hand isn't the actual act of sex. Our sex life is fine, it's the things like him coming up from behind me and kissing my neck, or whispering in my ear that he loves me thats lacking. I miss the passion, and those little things that he'd do. I can't even remember the last time he made me feel sexy.
I think I'm just too idealistic in what I want from him. Maybe this issue is stemming from my own insecurities, I don't know. I appreciate all the insights nonetheless, and it makes me happy seeing that a lot of you are in really beautiful relationships. It's encouraging, and makes me hopeful towards my future with my hubby.
Posted by sultrykittyLol !!Posted by Deedee86
I have had 3 relationships that would be considered long term.
1. Sag 2.5 years and by the end I had zero sexual attraction left for him. I walked in on him once doing yoga....naked. That just killed it for me.
ROLFMAO
click to expand
@Zlarb: more than 10 years now, its usual to happen, but to tell you atrologically i need your both moon, ac and mc.
Posted by ZlarbIn my case i feel all the spark if i get attention no matter how old is the relationship. I need it . After a while people start taking each other for granted and that also kills the spark . Yes i agree its not going to be same as what it would have been when the relationship was new . But the bond between 2 people can cover up for whats lacking . Provided people value each other more than others .
Not really pertaining to astrology but I'm just looking for some insights here.
During your long term relationship (at least 2 years please), did you find that the "lust" faded out? I've been with my hubby for 5 years now, and I'm still very much attracted and in love him, but that initial spark that was there feels like it's now gone. In case anyone's wondering, by "spark" or "lust" I am referring to acts or feelings of romance. I know after awhile 'acts of love' change... in the beginning of the relationship I might have considered a massage or back rub nice, but as of now I'm just glad when he does the dishes or takes the garbage out lol. I'm just wondering from other people's personal experiences how their long term relationship played out - did the spark fade out? Is the spark still there (if so, how are you keeping it going)? What was different about your "acts of love" from the beginning to the end of your relationship? And women, does he still make you feel sexy?
And if anyone's curious, he is an Aquarius Sun/ Aquarius Venus, I'm Aries Sun/ Pisces Venus.
Posted by ZlarbDid you tell him how you feel ? I try an communicate mostly whats going on in my mind . Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt but i try .
Obviously I came off the wrong way, my thoughts are really abstract and I have a hard time making them clear for myself, let alone to others.
The issue at hand isn't the actual act of sex. Our sex life is fine, it's the things like him coming up from behind me and kissing my neck, or whispering in my ear that he loves me thats lacking. I miss the passion, and those little things that he'd do. I can't even remember the last time he made me feel sexy.
I think I'm just too idealistic in what I want from him. Maybe this issue is stemming from my own insecurities, I don't know. I appreciate all the insights nonetheless, and it makes me happy seeing that a lot of you are in really beautiful relationships. It's encouraging, and makes me hopeful towards my future with my hubby.
You are not too idealistic in what you want . You are right . Thats the thing i like about about love ..its the feeling that you get form the person you love . I dont like what relationships eventually become ...bag full of practicalities .
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During your long term relationship (at least 2 years please), did you find that the "lust" faded out? I've been with my hubby for 5 years now, and I'm still very much attracted and in love him, but that initial spark that was there feels like it's now gone. In case anyone's wondering, by "spark" or "lust" I am referring to acts or feelings of romance. I know after awhile 'acts of love' change... in the beginning of the relationship I might have considered a massage or back rub nice, but as of now I'm just glad when he does the dishes or takes the garbage out lol. I'm just wondering from other people's personal experiences how their long term relationship played out - did the spark fade out? Is the spark still there (if so, how are you keeping it going)? What was different about your "acts of love" from the beginning to the end of your relationship? And women, does he still make you feel sexy?
And if anyone's curious, he is an Aquarius Sun/ Aquarius Venus, I'm Aries Sun/ Pisces Venus.