Timing an excuse?

So there have been a few times in my life where I felt a super connection with a man.. It always seemed to be bad timing for one reason or another. More recently I've known this guy(cancer if that matters since its an astrology board) for almost 2 years and we only started really really doing things together like in april. We talk and talk about all kinds of things have very similar ideas on many different things I have never met anyone like him. He's amazing.. I started to get freaked out because I was fighting my feelings for him and finally I sorta told him I didnt think we should be friends anymore because of this and he went on to tell me how awesome I am and he said something along the lines of He feels like i'm 90 percent friend and only because we cant be lovers if we are not friends but its just bad timing and timing is always bad for him blah blah... We had also just spent the weekend before together and he said his boss asked him how it went and he said it was the time of his life and not because of what he was doing but who he was doing it with and all this... WTF is up with timing? Is it just an excuse?

lol! Cancers motto should be- I'M BAD TIMING. They all say that! Figure it out, you want a cancer in your life you will hear all sorts of odd things falling out of the clear blue sky. Good luck!

How do you make him be direct?

You two have known each other for quite some time? I'm wondering why this hasn't happened sooner? My guess is he likes you, but sees some things that would cause the relationship to fail or he's simply taking the old school route. If you've talked to him about previous relationships, it may be giving him pause.

Idk I didn't think of him in that way and he was traveling in Europe for awhile. When he came back to the states we started to talk more and hung out one night and he kissed me and actually I was a little upset about that. He then asked about it and asked why I kissed him back and I didn't know what to say. I just told him he's awesome but at that time I didn't feel like way towards him but the more time we spent the more I started to like him. Everything was going well but he mentioned about looking at prices of apt in new York n that caught me by surprise and I got upset and that's basically why I said we shouldn't talk. I didnt want to get hurt. I don't even know if he really meant he was moving there or he just was looking. It was an emotional reactions and now I fear I messed it up. I "ended" it last Thursday and haven't talked to him. I saw him walking yesterday and texted him and he replied. Should I act like it didn't happen ? I feel I need to address it. He is usually very blunt So I'd assume
He'd be honest with his feelings. Maybe i just perceived his actions wrong.

Posted by acrabbycrab12

Posted by crabcakesandmayo
Libra and Cancer is not such a fantastic combination.

+1!

click to expand

Oddly, this site says:

For example, although Aries and Leo are supposed to get along, in reality they might butt heads, while the theoretically incompatible Libra and Cancer might happily stay together forever. This is because Sun Sign Compatibility takes into account only one of hundreds of compatibility factors

http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/venusvenussynastry.html

it may not be for you, but it may be for her. If they get past the "fear" 🙂

Something "fire signs" or strong fire in the chart are known for (Fools rush in) Have a little of that, and viola. Like chemistry.

Posted by libnicole84
Idk I didn't think of him in that way and he was traveling in Europe for awhile. When he came back to the states we started to talk more and hung out one night and he kissed me and actually I was a little upset about that. He then asked about it and asked why I kissed him back and I didn't know what to say. I just told him he's awesome but at that time I didn't feel like way towards him but the more time we spent the more I started to like him. Everything was going well but he mentioned about looking at prices of apt in new York n that caught me by surprise and I got upset and that's basically why I said we shouldn't talk. I didnt want to get hurt. I don't even know if he really meant he was moving there or he just was looking. It was an emotional reactions and now I fear I messed it up. I "ended" it last Thursday and haven't talked to him. I saw him walking yesterday and texted him and he replied. Should I act like it didn't happen ? I feel I need to address it. He is usually very blunt So I'd assume
He'd be honest with his feelings. Maybe i just perceived his actions wrong.

Honestly, I would be confused by your actions too. He probably thinks that you don't know what you want and his actions show how he feels. You should talk to him and address it. Try to smooth things over and see what's there.

sigh... i texted him nothign serious.. just tryin to show him i at least want his friendship if he wants to tlk to me he'll talk to me i guess... i'm not going to push

He was a friend it was something that caught me by surprise. He was helping me open up and showing me what a gentlemen is since its been so long since I've encountered one and he knew that since we have been friends for awhile. Then as soon as I start having feelings he's talking about possibly moving. I panicked and told him I was starting to like him alot n maybe we shouldn't talk. He coulda stopped me there. Idk what's so confusing about me I told him I liked him shit haha

I have an extremely hard time verbalizing emotions although I feel them extremely deep

Posted by Rockthenerds
*eye twitch* Totally dated a libra like that, Confusing as hell..

Huge +1

Posted by libnicole84
He was a friend it was something that caught me by surprise. He was helping me open up and showing me what a gentlemen is since its been so long since I've encountered one and he knew that since we have been friends for awhile. Then as soon as I start having feelings he's talking about possibly moving. I panicked and told him I was starting to like him alot n maybe we shouldn't talk. He coulda stopped me there. Idk what's so confusing about me I told him I liked him shit haha

The confusing thing about it is the kiss and you telling him you didn't see him that way but you still kissed him back because you probably didn't want him to look at you unfavorably. Now that he is "pulling away" by moving, you want the attention he is was giving you and more, but he has seen your actions as confusing. Friends, then not friends and so forth. His planning on moving has an air of permanency and has thrown your scales out of balance. Tell him you know that you may appear inconsistent, but you want something more than a friendship. He may be upset at the timing, but convince him that you will try to be more consistent if he gives you a chance. I'm not saying its your fault because the friendship is at risk. But if you want him, you're gonna have to take that gamble. I experienced this very same thing with my Libra ex. She too had a hard time expressing her feelings too. Confusion lead to our breakup. Focus on exactly what you feel for him, don't ask too many questions internally or overthink it. Just go with it and see what happens. A song to listen to is Alicia Keys Unthinkable(I'm Ready). Hope this helps.

agree with the above

You are screaming unstable. I don't mean that as a person, but as a potential relationship. Your confused way of figuring out you like him may be coming across to him like you aren't quite sure about him, which he will likely perceive as too risky to put his heart out for. He's trying to not get hurt himself. Methinks.

Posted by libnicole84
I panicked and told him I was starting to like him alot n maybe we shouldn't talk.

I can see men's brains everywhere exploding!

Love is a risk. No guarantee. You seem to be searching for some sort of way to have him, but not give yourself, or be at risk of hurt. T'is not how "love" goes.

I would almost say that the timing WAS right (for him) when he kissed you. The big sack of mixed messages since that point has made it bad timing.

Posted by deezie

Posted by libnicole84
I panicked and told him I was starting to like him alot n maybe we shouldn't talk.

I can see men's brains everywhere exploding!

Love is a risk. No guarantee. You seem to be searching for some sort of way to have him, but not give yourself, or be at risk of hurt. T'is not how "love" goes.

I would almost say that the timing WAS right (for him) when he kissed you. The big sack of mixed messages since that point has made it bad timing.

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+1 I totally agree with RTN and you.

Lib, we're telling you this because you need to hear it and not repeat the same mistake. Don't take it as criticism. Just showing you how your actions have contributed to this situation. We all analyze people to see if they're right for us. In reality, you have to throw logic aside, trust your gut, and take that dive. Don't worry about making a mistake or you'll doom the relationship. Just go with it.

Ok so do you think I should give him some time to think
Or should I go take this damn risk
At explaining myself soon?

In my Arnold Schwarzenegger voice: "Do it!!! Do it nooow!!" lol Thats what I've been saying. Time is of the essence. Can't sit around debating and analyzing what was said, done, possible outcomes, etc. Tell him how you feel and go for it...or you could give me a shot 😉

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by libnicole84
He was a friend it was something that caught me by surprise. He was helping me open up and showing me what a gentlemen is since its been so long since I've encountered one and he knew that since we have been friends for awhile. Then as soon as I start having feelings he's talking about possibly moving. I panicked and told him I was starting to like him alot n maybe we shouldn't talk. He coulda stopped me there. Idk what's so confusing about me I told him I liked him shit haha

The confusing thing about it is the kiss and you telling him you didn't see him that way but you still kissed him back because you probably didn't want him to look at you unfavorably. Now that he is "pulling away" by moving, you want the attention he is was giving you and more, but he has seen your actions as confusing. Friends, then not friends and so forth. His planning on moving has an air of permanency and has thrown your scales out of balance. Tell him you know that you may appear inconsistent, but you want something more than a friendship. He may be upset at the timing, but convince him that you will try to be more consistent if he gives you a chance. I'm not saying its your fault because the friendship is at risk. But if you want him, you're gonna have to take that gamble. I experienced this very same thing with my Libra ex. She too had a hard time expressing her feelings too. Confusion lead to our breakup. Focus on exactly what you feel for him, don't ask too many questions internally or overthink it. Just go with it and see what happens. A song to listen to is Alicia Keys Unthinkable(I'm Ready). Hope this helps.

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Love that song!! Haha

Posted by libnicole84

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by libnicole84
He was a friend it was something that caught me by surprise. He was helping me open up and showing me what a gentlemen is since its been so long since I've encountered one and he knew that since we have been friends for awhile. Then as soon as I start having feelings he's talking about possibly moving. I panicked and told him I was starting to like him alot n maybe we shouldn't talk. He coulda stopped me there. Idk what's so confusing about me I told him I liked him shit haha

The confusing thing about it is the kiss and you telling him you didn't see him that way but you still kissed him back because you probably didn't want him to look at you unfavorably. Now that he is "pulling away" by moving, you want the attention he is was giving you and more, but he has seen your actions as confusing. Friends, then not friends and so forth. His planning on moving has an air of permanency and has thrown your scales out of balance. Tell him you know that you may appear inconsistent, but you want something more than a friendship. He may be upset at the timing, but convince him that you will try to be more consistent if he gives you a chance. I'm not saying its your fault because the friendship is at risk. But if you want him, you're gonna have to take that gamble. I experienced this very same thing with my Libra ex. She too had a hard time expressing her feelings too. Confusion lead to our breakup. Focus on exactly what you feel for him, don't ask too many questions internally or overthink it. Just go with it and see what happens. A song to listen to is Alicia Keys Unthinkable(I'm Ready). Hope this helps.

Love that song!! Haha

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Honestly, it's one of my favs too

Yea we went to an amazing Coldplay concert ad a baseball game and the beach just so I could dip my toes in. We ended up running out of gas in the turn pile 4 miles from a gas station walked hand in hand 3 miles until someone picked us up it was interesting haba but an awesome memory. Then he backed up. He always would do that things would be awesome the he backs up usually I'd just back up too then he'd come
Back tow but this time when I felt the pull away n he said about ny I got upset he kept askin what's wrong so I blurted out that mess about not talking.

Posted by ElusiveSoul

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by acrabbycrab12

Posted by crabcakesandmayo
Libra and Cancer is not such a fantastic combination.

+1!

Oddly, this site says:
For example, although Aries and Leo are supposed to get along, in reality they might butt heads, while the theoretically incompatible Libra and Cancer might happily stay together forever. This is because Sun Sign Compatibility takes into account only one of hundreds of compatibility factors
http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/venusvenussynastry.html

it may not be for you, but it may be for her. If they get past the "fear" 🙂

Lisa...you're allways a breath of fresh air....!!!!

click to expand

/topic hijack for a short bit.

thanks, Elusive. It's easy to "attach" to sometimes bad experiences in the past. No problem - just release, release, and the heart is free. 🙂

Posted by libnicole84

talk and talk about all kinds of things have very similar ideas on many different things I have never met anyone like him.

He's amazing..

I started to get freaked out because I was fighting my feelings for him and finally I sorta told him I didnt think we should be friends anymore because ....

huh?

You change the parameters and push him away ... and people are in here talking about him doing something wrong?

You had a good friend, and then fucked that up .... it has nothing to do with him and timing, it has to do with you not being satisfied with what you have and wanting more, and if you can't get more than you attempt to manipulate him into giving you more.

The only actions you can judge are yours .. what have you done?

Posted by DG
I don't get it either, it just doesn't make sense....I'm getting the feeling there maybe someone else in the picture, nothing serious but he is deciding which way to go.

Time to put on that "A" game, girl and really Razzle Dazzle him😉

Time to pull out the heavy artillery....

lol wtf is A game how do I razzle and dazzle him?

Posted by P-Angel

huh?

You change the parameters and push him away ... and people are in here talking about him doing something wrong?

I don't recall seeing one person in this discussion say that the guy had done anything wrong....—?

Posted by deezie

Posted by P-Angel

huh?

You change the parameters and push him away ... and people are in here talking about him doing something wrong?

I don't recall seeing one person in this discussion say that the guy had done anything wrong....—?

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yea me neither i wasnt even going to acknowledge that comment