mirelska
@mirelska
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 1
Cancer man and Aqua Woman - friends with benefits relationship - is it going to work? :)
It's difficult for many of us to be intimate without romantic feeling developing. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with him. If what he wants from the relationship doesn't match your own desires, it may be necessary to make a tough decision admit your relationship.
I have an Aqua friend that I think would be open to a FwB relationship, but I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship, so I have to hold back.
Relationships of all forms can be difficult, that's why I'm staying single and only have guys for friends. They're less needy.
I have an Aqua friend that I think would be open to a FwB relationship, but I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship, so I have to hold back.
Relationships of all forms can be difficult, that's why I'm staying single and only have guys for friends. They're less needy.
*about the relationship
Posted by M00NchildYes, indeed. Thanks for the advice. honestly, at this stage I am not ready to speak with him again (the last time we spoke was two weeks ago and we both agreed that we have no romantic feelings one to each other) because I am not sure what will happen. After our last conversation on the topic, he started acting the way he acts now. Which is so confusing. It's like we both agree that smth is black and the day after he starts convincing me that it is white ... WTF?!
It's difficult for many of us to be intimate without romantic feeling developing. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with him. If what he wants from the relationship doesn't match your own desires, it may be necessary to make a tough decision admit your relationship.
I have an Aqua friend that I think would be open to a FwB relationship, but I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship, so I have to hold back.
Relationships of all forms can be difficult, that's why I'm staying single and only have guys for friends. They're less needy.
I knew I shouldn't step into such relationship - FwB. It's for the first time in my life, and hope - for the last ...
Thank you for your advice! 🙂
This is never going to work for water signs.
Posted by incandescentcancerCan you translate this for an air sign? 🙂 Please. Why it's not going to work? In what aspect?
This is never going to work for water signs.
Thanks in advance.
Posted by mirelskaAir signs don't catch feelings, water signs do.Posted by incandescentcancerCan you translate this for an air sign? 🙂 Please. Why it's not going to work? In what aspect?
This is never going to work for water signs.
Thanks in advance.click to expand
He probably has feelings towards you by now.
Why the hell would you cook with him and talk to him for hours if you're FwBs? That's not what's supposed to happen.
Sure it is. That's what a FwB does. They're your friend, so you do things together that friends do, but you add the benefit of a sexual relationship. Don't confuse it with Fu¢k Buddies.
Posted by M00NchildI like fuck buddies better, what the hell is an Fwb anyway?? It's a means for selfish idiots to do inappropriate things and then cause drama.
Sure it is. That's what a FwB does. They're your friend, so you do things together that friends do, but you add the benefit of a sexual relationship. Don't confuse it with Fu¢k Buddies.
Posted by M00Nchildexactly! We have always have had this type of relations - we cook together, or he makes smth for me or me - for him ... whatever ... we also travel a lot together - in May for a month in Morrocco, fpr example. And I have never ever thought that he wants to have sex with me. He never showed any feelings other then friend-stuff. And during the Robbie Williams concert (in July), we got drunk and he said "Please, reconsider our relation - we may also have sex" ... And since last month we are having ... why? Don't ask me! I wasn't even sexually attracted by him ....
Sure it is. That's what a FwB does. They're your friend, so you do things together that friends do, but you add the benefit of a sexual relationship. Don't confuse it with Fu¢k Buddies.
Anyway, thanks 🙂 I will have a nice talk to him next week and before that will try to hint at my thoughts.
Posted by incandescentcancerhahahahah 🙂 I liked that " It's a means for selfish idiots to do inappropriate things and then cause drama." Maybe it is, maybe it is not. What I saw so far is that the cancer males like drama but in precise doses 😉 Aquas hate drama!Posted by M00NchildI like fuck buddies better, what the hell is an Fwb anyway?? It's a means for selfish idiots to do inappropriate things and then cause drama.
Sure it is. That's what a FwB does. They're your friend, so you do things together that friends do, but you add the benefit of a sexual relationship. Don't confuse it with Fu¢k Buddies.click to expand
Posted by mirelska
Hi all, I've been sleeping with a cancer guy, who is a very good friend of mine for few months (maybe 2). Everything was super cool, but recently he started acting damn strange. He is too... I don't know ... polite (??) with me, saying all those "sweet" things - like I am his most precious person because he wants to share everything with me; I am the sweetest girl in the world; he lays down and wakes up with the thought of me; he wants to create memories with me, etc. And all this confuses me a lot. I love him, BUT AS A PERSON, no as a boyfriend. When we started having sex, a promise was made that this will not ruin our friendship! Now I don't know what to think of him - does he wants smth more? Or he is just trying to preserve the sex with me? I am pretty confused and don't know how to react which makes him suffer - he permanently pulls back when he tells me smth nice and I usually answer with a smile, kiss him on the chick and say ÿou know that I love you so much, right?" (which is usually the case - this is how I behave with him all the time, even before having sex). On the other hand, in case he wants a relationship with me, why the f***k he is permanently chatting with girls online? This is confusing me, too.
From my perspective, I love being with him - we have a tremendous level of mutual trust and we can speak for hours and hours for so many topics; or just cuddle and laugh; or just cook for him smth nice and discuss his day at work. Before started having sex, I knew of all the girls he was having sex with, I was even writing with some of them, just for the fun (I have always been very polite 🙂 lol) Now these stories are closed and I feel a bit nervous. Because, honestly, at this time I don't want to have a relationship and this FwB story is perfect for me. But I am fully committed to keep him as a friend, therefore - also pretty afraid. If he wants a real relationship and I don't (which is the case) ... what will happen? I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I don't really care if I will lose him as a lover ... LoL 🙂
So, please advice - how should I proceed in order to keep my friend next to me without any further complications? Will there be such, actually? Because I am not sure he is into me ... confusing emotional situation for my straightforward mind.
Any advice on better understanding cancer males would help. 🙂
Thanks a lot!
I am not sure, why you are asking..... I think you are interested in him, otherwise Aquas would not even bother🙂 just tell us, you are intersted
Posted by mirelskaI don't know, I like to keep it simple. I don't actually know any dramatic cancer guys.Posted by incandescentcancerhahahahah 🙂 I liked that " It's a means for selfish idiots to do inappropriate things and then cause drama." Maybe it is, maybe it is not. What I saw so far is that the cancer males like drama but in precise doses 😉 Aquas hate drama!Posted by M00NchildI like fuck buddies better, what the hell is an Fwb anyway?? It's a means for selfish idiots to do inappropriate things and then cause drama.
Sure it is. That's what a FwB does. They're your friend, so you do things together that friends do, but you add the benefit of a sexual relationship. Don't confuse it with Fu¢k Buddies.click to expand
Air signs I find overly dramatic, Kardashianesque almost.
Once you crossed the barrier into sex, it no longer is friendship..... You can rarely go back to how it once was.
If you truly do not want more, you need to tell him that. You might be doing our Aqua thing of over-anaylizing and reading more into his actions than what is really going on. I also think you want more but are afraid to admit this to yourself.
This part you wrote "How should I proceed in order to keep my friend next to me without any further complications? Will there be such, actually? Because I am not sure he is into me ... "
Reads as if you want more from him, is that the case? You also mentioned you tell him you love him after he says something nice ( which was how you acted before sex was involved) yet he pulls away... perhaps he is wondering if YOU want more and is trying to create distance because perahps all he wants is a FWB.. he is still chatting up other femlaes from what you are saying... that speaks volumns to me.
If you truly do not want more, you need to tell him that. You might be doing our Aqua thing of over-anaylizing and reading more into his actions than what is really going on. I also think you want more but are afraid to admit this to yourself.
This part you wrote "How should I proceed in order to keep my friend next to me without any further complications? Will there be such, actually? Because I am not sure he is into me ... "
Reads as if you want more from him, is that the case? You also mentioned you tell him you love him after he says something nice ( which was how you acted before sex was involved) yet he pulls away... perhaps he is wondering if YOU want more and is trying to create distance because perahps all he wants is a FWB.. he is still chatting up other femlaes from what you are saying... that speaks volumns to me.
Posted by justagirlthat is exactly what I wrote her, she is interested...... OP, it will not be easy
Once you crossed the barrier into sex, it no longer is friendship..... You can rarely go back to how it once was.
If you truly do not want more, you need to tell him that. You might be doing our Aqua thing of over-anaylizing and reading more into his actions than what is really going on. I also think you want more but are afraid to admit this to yourself.
This part you wrote "How should I proceed in order to keep my friend next to me without any further complications? Will there be such, actually? Because I am not sure he is into me ... "
Reads as if you want more from him, is that the case? You also mentioned you tell him you love him after he says something nice ( which was how you acted before sex was involved) yet he pulls away... perhaps he is wondering if YOU want more and is trying to create distance because perahps all he wants is a FWB.. he is still chatting up other femlaes from what you are saying... that speaks volumns to me.
Posted by justagirlYeah, maybe you are right, especially the last sentence. 🙂
Once you crossed the barrier into sex, it no longer is friendship..... You can rarely go back to how it once was.
If you truly do not want more, you need to tell him that. You might be doing our Aqua thing of over-anaylizing and reading more into his actions than what is really going on. I also think you want more but are afraid to admit this to yourself.
This part you wrote "How should I proceed in order to keep my friend next to me without any further complications? Will there be such, actually? Because I am not sure he is into me ... "
Reads as if you want more from him, is that the case? You also mentioned you tell him you love him after he says something nice ( which was how you acted before sex was involved) yet he pulls away... perhaps he is wondering if YOU want more and is trying to create distance because perahps all he wants is a FWB.. he is still chatting up other femlaes from what you are saying... that speaks volumns to me.
I am absolutely sure I don't want more from him! 🙂 I have everything I actually need, incl. free life, great child, great father of this child, etc. I don't want or need any further complications/ dramas. I like my life the way it is - simple and the perfect way I built it! 🙂 And absolutely don't want serious relationships - I've always been in this serious relations with males and definitely need at least 10 years to be by myself 🙂 I see how it looks from your perspectives and you are right. Because actually I know what I want but I give the guy different, confusing signs (because you see them that way - can u imagine what is going on in his head?!) that actually maybe make him act strange (because HE IS acting strange, I can assure you! 🙂 ).
Thanks a lot, I will have a very honest conversation with him next week, incl. what my "love" means and that we have to be in this situation until we want, with no drama and will have to contunie doing the things we like, the way we like them, with no strings attached. That's all 😉
Thanks for your thoughts 🙂
Posted by incandescentcancerI'm a Gemini and wish I lived up to the air sign stereotype of not catching feelings.Posted by mirelskaAir signs don't catch feelings, water signs do.Posted by incandescentcancerCan you translate this for an air sign? 🙂 Please. Why it's not going to work? In what aspect?
This is never going to work for water signs.
Thanks in advance.
He probably has feelings towards you by now.
Why the hell would you cook with him and talk to him for hours if you're FwBs? That's not what's supposed to happen.click to expand
@Pandora101 yes, I am interested as far as my overall life is not in jeopardy and as far as I am having nice time and fun ... that's all. But as I already wrote, you are right - from aside it looks much way different 😉 and it's my fault. And yes, I don't want to lose the guy as a friend. Trust me, I don't want him for a longer relationship/ partnership. He has many things I hate in man and he showing them only partially due to our friendship 🙂 I am an Aqua ... at the end of the day all that matters, is my own happiness because this is the only way to spread my love and positive emotions to the people I love 😉
Posted by OhdearI am certain you have a watery moon or VenusPosted by incandescentcancerI'm a Gemini and wish I lived up to the air sign stereotype of not catching feelings.Posted by mirelskaAir signs don't catch feelings, water signs do.Posted by incandescentcancerCan you translate this for an air sign? 🙂 Please. Why it's not going to work? In what aspect?
This is never going to work for water signs.
Thanks in advance.
He probably has feelings towards you by now.
Why the hell would you cook with him and talk to him for hours if you're FwBs? That's not what's supposed to happen.click to expand
Posted by mirelskaYou're almost certainly going to fuck his life up. I hope he runs away quickly enough.
@Pandora101 yes, I am interested as far as my overall life is not in jeopardy and as far as I am having nice time and fun ... that's all. But as I already wrote, you are right - from aside it looks much way different 😉 and it's my fault. And yes, I don't want to lose the guy as a friend. Trust me, I don't want him for a longer relationship/ partnership. He has many things I hate in man and he showing them only partially due to our friendship 🙂 I am an Aqua ... at the end of the day all that matters, is my own happiness because this is the only way to spread my love and positive emotions to the people I love 😉
Posted by incandescentcancer You're almost certainly going to fuck his life up. I hope he runs away quickly enough.–žh, I am trying not to hurt him ... isn't that clear?!
So is this the same if a cancer man wants to sleep with you? To form a bond? Get more attached?
Posted by britneybabe26I am scared of forming a bond or being attached with a man, especially cancer. Not scared exactly but rather tired. Therefore I am running away from such stuff. Now. In 10 years... Only God knows...
So is this the same if a cancer man wants to sleep with you? To form a bond? Get more attached?
I understand @mirelska I want to form a bond with a cancer man 😉
Hi, all. Just a brief and quick update. 🙂
1. We've had several conversations during the last 2-3 weeks. If I have to sum up everything:
- we both like the things the way they are now (and were when we started having sex 2-3 months ago)
- he's perfectly aware I don't want a long-term relationship, yet he wants. With me. And is ready to wait for me to mature/ be ready for this idea.
- his pulling back occurred to be part of kind of a game/ test - his idea was to see do I miss him and do I want him, when saying I love him (WTF?!?!?! And he agreed he was wrong). Since we've had this conversation, he disappears after we have been together (for few hours/ days) because he needs to stay alone and “rebuild” himself (which actually is good for me)
- he understood he’s absolutely free to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. All in a sudden he stopped chatting with other girls, stating that he is no longer interested in them
- we were on a wedding of our friends last weekend, it was nice. He got drunk and what I saw was a huge pile of emotions and confessions (incl. the fact that he is trying to manipulate me because he wants me to be his girlfriend)
2. Decisions taken and permanently communicating around them/ any further amendments:
- we stay the way we are for an undefined period, mainly until we both want this type of relation to last
- in case someone develops bigger feelings towards the other one, this should be stated ASAP and measures should be taken
- we don’t know whether we have a common future or not, but the thing we count on the most is our true relationship (as friends) and everything we have built together so far, throughout all these years. And this should not be ruined
I think this is fair to both of us, as far as we were open one to each other and mutually agreed on our common future.
If you ask me, he is in an advert period, which means he is not who he actually is, because he is on his hunt. I don’t know what will happen after this period ends, but now both of us are very happy and this is all that matters. We will just live for the moment and, hopefully, make it last longer : )
Thanks again for all your advises 🙂
1. We've had several conversations during the last 2-3 weeks. If I have to sum up everything:
- we both like the things the way they are now (and were when we started having sex 2-3 months ago)
- he's perfectly aware I don't want a long-term relationship, yet he wants. With me. And is ready to wait for me to mature/ be ready for this idea.
- his pulling back occurred to be part of kind of a game/ test - his idea was to see do I miss him and do I want him, when saying I love him (WTF?!?!?! And he agreed he was wrong). Since we've had this conversation, he disappears after we have been together (for few hours/ days) because he needs to stay alone and “rebuild” himself (which actually is good for me)
- he understood he’s absolutely free to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. All in a sudden he stopped chatting with other girls, stating that he is no longer interested in them
- we were on a wedding of our friends last weekend, it was nice. He got drunk and what I saw was a huge pile of emotions and confessions (incl. the fact that he is trying to manipulate me because he wants me to be his girlfriend)
2. Decisions taken and permanently communicating around them/ any further amendments:
- we stay the way we are for an undefined period, mainly until we both want this type of relation to last
- in case someone develops bigger feelings towards the other one, this should be stated ASAP and measures should be taken
- we don’t know whether we have a common future or not, but the thing we count on the most is our true relationship (as friends) and everything we have built together so far, throughout all these years. And this should not be ruined
I think this is fair to both of us, as far as we were open one to each other and mutually agreed on our common future.
If you ask me, he is in an advert period, which means he is not who he actually is, because he is on his hunt. I don’t know what will happen after this period ends, but now both of us are very happy and this is all that matters. We will just live for the moment and, hopefully, make it last longer : )
Thanks again for all your advises 🙂
Unbelievable yet obviously generally acceptable behavior in the free and self-gratifying world of today. This is exactly why there are so many broken people around, being messed up by others or by starting a game that they cannot finish.
Let's be more positive. I am pretty sure that as an adolescents we will do our best to save everything between us. 🙂
@Koniucha yes, we've already had this conversation. I asked him to cut off the whole thing. He refused and even got mad that I am treating him as a child, while he is an adult (he's older than me with 6 years). So, I literally left him be. And the situation we are into now is the one he chose to be in. I just don't want to hurt him and truly love him as a person/ friend and he is extremely special to me (and he knows it).
Posted by thinktoomuchHahahaha this is not our case 🙂 I am 31, with a child and one unsuccessful long-term relationship behind me. He is 37, single, no kids, no marriages, no nothing.
How old are you both then?
I think cancer men really really like the younger girls, so that´s another positive thing.
@Goldigold, yeah, we may try 🙂 in couple of years ... why not ... I just don't want any relationship right now - because of me and because of him. But in 5-7-10 years - maybe 🙂
I can assure you that my cancer likes me for the same reason - I always leave him alone whenever he needs, but am at his disposal in case he has smth to share; on the other hand - cooking/ great home-made food is the thing that connects us the most (and the fact that sometimes we can spend together a whole weekend at home cooking, speaking and laughing, etc). LoL and, of course, my permanent support regarding his business issues, gaining internal confidence and chasing career growth.
We are mainly friends, before everything else, but also having great sex. I do believe that if it was only the passion, I was not going even to write @ the forum.
I can assure you that my cancer likes me for the same reason - I always leave him alone whenever he needs, but am at his disposal in case he has smth to share; on the other hand - cooking/ great home-made food is the thing that connects us the most (and the fact that sometimes we can spend together a whole weekend at home cooking, speaking and laughing, etc). LoL and, of course, my permanent support regarding his business issues, gaining internal confidence and chasing career growth.
We are mainly friends, before everything else, but also having great sex. I do believe that if it was only the passion, I was not going even to write @ the forum.
@thinktoomuch aaaah, of course you will 😉
Huh. Ok, people, what should I do in such case? He doesn't want to let go... I don't want a relationship...
He is not blind in love, there are some signs he is into me but love - it's too big for him.
Anyway, I do agree that smth should be changed but if I cut everything now without an "approval" from his side, he will never be my friend again any more... 😢 pffff
He is not blind in love, there are some signs he is into me but love - it's too big for him.
Anyway, I do agree that smth should be changed but if I cut everything now without an "approval" from his side, he will never be my friend again any more... 😢 pffff
Posted by FinbuffI will do my best ... but not promising anything ... yesterday I hinted smth to him - that it's all good now but it will not last forever and maybe we should cut it off now, while it's still not too late. He got mad again, blaming me that I am trying to ruin smth beautiful. Then he stated he will be with me until he finds "someone better" to have a family with ... Therefore, I do believe that leaving the things the way they are is the best way - as far as he didn't leave the idea of having other relationships with girls, I am pretty fine.
Women never understand the illogic of their actions, and the impossibility of the noncommittal relationships they so desire.
What you should do, you don't want to do. Break it to him gently, because it will be hard. I had someone do this to me once, (Leo/Cancer) cusp, and it was awful and didn't end well. There's a high probability you grossly underestimate his attachment to you and simply don't want to admit he could be feeling love.
He's probably trying very hard NOT to tell you he loves you. He knows what those words will do to the relationship as well.
I can't and hate to suppose, people. I am just telling you the facts and his quotes. I do believe him. If he is insincere with me - it's only his problem. When I say smth, I mean it and he knows that I want the same from him.
So, really, thank you all for the insights, they were very helpful! 🙂
I actually am in a similar situation with a Aquarius woman but after dealing with an Aquarius father my whole life I pretty much know how to handle one in some regards. As a Cancer you can be somewhat detached with this person and its ok. You can go into your Cancer shell and they have a way of giving you time to come out on your own terms which is nice. Just give them the same courtesy and it will work out fine. I always liked that with Aquarians that they want to be left alone at times too. I however could never talk about something emotionally charged with an Aqua and expect to get the response I wanted yet that is usually for my Leo friends are for so its more of learning how to pick your battles and how to come at certain people. Aquariuans can cry and be emotional but for a very different reason and its not something a Cancer should delve into and try to understand. Don't feel obligated to be emotional because they won't expect you to.
The only thing I find troubling about an Aquarius/Cancer duo is that the Cancer is going to open his pocketbook. Aquarians just look at money in a way that is freeing but not realistic to a Cancer. Through experience I have realized that when an Aquarian Women is giving me her time I am going to have to let go and go all out on the food,entertainment and gifts and not be cheap with her. They can sense when you have taken shortcuts in something and they seem to be turned off by that. I can be cheap with a Leo woman as long as I buy her big gifts from time to time and shopping spree here and there but they can be conservative if they know I am low on cash and not make me feel bad. With an Aquarius this is almost out of the question as they almost get repulsed out when you have shown them a fine dinner and then think fast food is going to keep them interested.
I think this is why Taurus/Aquarius match up alot, Taurus can make more money than Cancer and I guess they know how to balance this aspect of Aquarius much better where its more under the radar.
I think the key is just Cancer needs to realize this person can be a good friend who doesn't expect alot of you but will surprise you in good ways other signs can't when they feel like you have given in enough to their essentric nature. Just don't get obsessed and pour on the sugar, YOU DONT HAVE TOO. Just be sweet in a natural way and an Aquarian will pick up on it.
The only thing I find troubling about an Aquarius/Cancer duo is that the Cancer is going to open his pocketbook. Aquarians just look at money in a way that is freeing but not realistic to a Cancer. Through experience I have realized that when an Aquarian Women is giving me her time I am going to have to let go and go all out on the food,entertainment and gifts and not be cheap with her. They can sense when you have taken shortcuts in something and they seem to be turned off by that. I can be cheap with a Leo woman as long as I buy her big gifts from time to time and shopping spree here and there but they can be conservative if they know I am low on cash and not make me feel bad. With an Aquarius this is almost out of the question as they almost get repulsed out when you have shown them a fine dinner and then think fast food is going to keep them interested.
I think this is why Taurus/Aquarius match up alot, Taurus can make more money than Cancer and I guess they know how to balance this aspect of Aquarius much better where its more under the radar.
I think the key is just Cancer needs to realize this person can be a good friend who doesn't expect alot of you but will surprise you in good ways other signs can't when they feel like you have given in enough to their essentric nature. Just don't get obsessed and pour on the sugar, YOU DONT HAVE TOO. Just be sweet in a natural way and an Aquarian will pick up on it.
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From my perspective, I love being with him - we have a tremendous level of mutual trust and we can speak for hours and hours for so many topics; or just cuddle and laugh; or just cook for him smth nice and discuss his day at work. Before started having sex, I knew of all the girls he was having sex with, I was even writing with some of them, just for the fun (I have always been very polite 🙂 lol) Now these stories are closed and I feel a bit nervous. Because, honestly, at this time I don't want to have a relationship and this FwB story is perfect for me. But I am fully committed to keep him as a friend, therefore - also pretty afraid. If he wants a real relationship and I don't (which is the case) ... what will happen? I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I don't really care if I will lose him as a lover ... LoL 🙂
So, please advice - how should I proceed in order to keep my friend next to me without any further complications? Will there be such, actually? Because I am not sure he is into me ... confusing emotional situation for my straightforward mind.
Any advice on better understanding cancer males would help. 🙂
Thanks a lot!