Cancer man back after breakup better than ever!

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Indigo1974
@Indigo1974
4 Years

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Some of you may have seen my posts from a few months ago of dealing with an emotionally unavailable cancer man. He was hot and cold, afraid to commit and kept me at a considerable distance while supposedly wanting to work on the friendship. We stopped having sex so that we could focus on the friendship, but agreed to remain exclusive. Yet, he wasn’t doing anything to actually spend time with me or grow the friendship. So I finally broke it off in mid January after explaining that there really wasn’t anything to break off since we weren’t really texting, we weren’t really spending time together, and we definitely weren’t sleeping together. He seemed surprised. We ran into each other about a week later and it was too hard for me, so I texted him that I would be blocking him for a little while because it was too hard for me to see him on social media. He said he was sad too, but he understood.

I went three weeks no contact before we ran into each other again. We sat down to talk, a conversation that ended up being four hours long. He cracked wide-open, telling me that he missed me, he had feelings for me, we cleared up all the miscommunication we had about feelings and things he had done for me that I didn’t even know about. he needed to sober up a little bit, and he wanted to spend more time together so we went to Denny’s for two hours and kept talking. He opened up about his family, his childhood, his fears, his insecurities, what happened with us, EVERYTHING. I took him back to his car, and we kissed passionately for three more hours until the sun came up.

One thing we talked about extensively is his fear of commitment, and that he’s not exactly sure where it comes from. He thinks it’s that he’s had to compromise so much in past relationships that he doesn’t want to be the one doing all of the compromising again. I told him I understood, and I would be willing to work with him on this. But I also told him I refuse to entertain anything with him if he’s going to go hot and cold again because it’s too much for me to bear. I also told him that I didn’t want to sleep with him again until he stopped being afraid of all the feelings that come from having sex with me. He agreed. I also told him that if he wants to work on commitment stuff, we were going to start meeting for brunch every Sunday, only an hour. He agreed.

Six weeks later and we have become extremely close and extremely intimate, and that’s without sex. He’s showing up for brunch, even when he’s only on a few hours of sleep. We talk about anything and everything. He gives me that look of awe and hopefully falling in love. We feed each other at meals. He’s been consistent in his behavior with me, still not ready to show PDA because we’re not boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but he’s always standing or sitting next to me wherever we are. He brags about me to people in front of me, and also to people when I’m not around because they tell me. He tells me all the time how proud he is of me. He’s very protective, and gets upset whenever somebody treats me with disrespect, especially because I’m a wheelchair user. He tells me secrets, he shares music he loves, and shows me photos of his children. We trust each other completely, and I’ve never had a friendship or relationship like this with anyone.

Anyway, I guess this adds to the stories of cancer men coming back. And I’m also glad I didn’t give up on him and gave us another chance.