Cancer men and needy women

It's been two weeks since my cancer man of 2.5 years broke up with me. It had been over a year since we've been through that. Buy it happened again. This time it was do to my recent clinginess and never giving him space to breathe. He finally had enough one day during a little argument and he snapped. Normally in the past I'd plead with him and whatnot (heard cancer signs like to be needed) but this time, I went silent. After one week he txted me a simple "hey". I didn't respond to it. I've been keeping myself extremely busy, going out, changing myself for the better, and getting my priorities straight. I do love him immensely and we have many great memories together and a strong bond. Naturally after almost 3 years together. I've read so many different opinions and ideas on this subject but I have a few questions. So since cancer actually doesn't like someone being needy with them and they like their space to di whatever, am I doing the right thing by not talking to him? I'd love more than anything to talk to him and tell him I've realized my mistakes but I also don't want it to go wrong before I can even finish working on myself. Do they let go easily? And once they've retreated, is there a way to lure them back out and seek you? I wish I could know/understand what's going on in his head.

You need to be able to talk and be clear with each other. You have a history which is good but you have broken up a couple times now, which is bad. The silence thing between both of you is bad but you gotta contact him and let him know you're ready to talk and then follow through. If you play the silence game with him he may walk and not come back. Cancers are needy when they feel insecure and hate it in return so it's not exactly fair but it is how it goes. What you can do now is tell him what you wrote:

Posted by NoirAmaterasu
I'd love more than anything to talk to him and tell him I've realized my mistakes but I also don't want it to go wrong before I can even finish working on myself.

But you have to be able to back it up with action or you will lose credibility and trust.

Most of us like to take care of ppl we care about (on any level, Fam, love, friend, coworker) but we don't want you to depend upon us or be needy/clingy.

After 3 weeks of no contact on my end, he calls me twice and leaves a voicemail. He also sends a text that said I love you. So I decided to txt him today and he asks me how I've been. I told him I've been good and much has happened in the last few weeks. He tells me he wants to have dinner and talk about everything I've been doing I told him I wasn't sure how I felt about having dinner yet. I agreed to him calling me tonight to talk. But I'm so anxious over what to say, worrying if I'll mess up somehow and destroy any chances of us getting back together. What would work for a cancer? Do I need to let all my feelings out with him or let him know some things but keep it somewhat vague? He also told me he loves me and cares about me and needs me in his life. I guess he means that he wants to stay broken up, but keep contact? Or he wants to see any changes I've made before he jumps back in? Any input would help!

Don't confess your feelings. Show him how you feel. We don't care much what ppl say. We want to see you walk all that you talk.

Just be you as much as possible. I know it can be hard but we read when ppl r not genuine & it makes our minds wonder.

Thanks for the advice. Could you explain how exactly I could show him how I feel?

Personally I like clingy... if I really am into the person of course. So if you have history of three years he must be tied to you. It's hard for cancers to walk away.

Today I saw he changed his fb profile pic. And something I noticed... In the pic he is wearing exactly what I told him I was going to buy him that he didn't have.. Aviator sunglasses. What's up with that? I swear, it's like he did that on purpose :/ But why?? Cancer insight please?

Girl. My cancer of almost a year disappeared on me for almost a month after I made a huge sacrifice for him because he wants to take the relationship further. He just disappeared and after about a month decided that he wants friends with benefits with me. I told him forget it and let's just make a clean break. I love him alot and if I didn't I wouldn't have given up so much for him. He even text me today for sex. All conversations now is about sex and I just don't want to. I told him sex is only reserved for the man in my life that I have a relationship with. He wants to come to my home. I told him only the man I have a relationship with is welcome in my home because fuck buddies is only a one tme thing whenever with no strings attached.

I think I crushed his little soft crab feelings but I have to be strong. I gave up a great opportunity for him overseas and he just did this. I shall torture his ass forever

He told you he loves you and cares about you and wants you in his life, he wants to talk, take you to dinner, had texted he loves you, err I think he loves you hun, hes chasing you to get you back, if its what you want don't question things so much just meet him and talk, hope it all goes well, I'm sure it will, be smiley happy and positive, you'll be fine, they don't let people they love go that easily, ive split with my hubby 4/5 times over the years and he basically does the same thing when he misses me, don't worry ? x

So for an update and much needed advice..

After a month of us being broken up, he had txted and called and wanted for us to meet up. When we finally did, it was at his place and he came out to my car. I didn't want to go inside. So he and I talked and within a couple of minutes, he asked me to sit by him in the passenger seat of my car. When I did he immediately grabbed me to hold me and he put my arms around him. He held me so tight and he seemed to miss me more than I thought. He moved my face to kiss me. We fell into a short but sweet make out session. It sort of threw me off because we were broken up, but kissing felt right. We still loved each other. I asked him if he had missed me and he said yes. I could sense he was holding back his thoughts and I didn't press him. I figured I shouldn't do that yet. I left within an hour and he asked if we could do something someday or if I'd be willing to come over. I told him maybe. So fast forward another week or two and we met again, but got intimate. The I love yous were still there, same feelings, though no mention of getting back together yet. It's been a little over week since that happened. We briefly txted the other day and he told me he would txt me again later and that he loved me. Here is where I'm confused and NEED advice/help/enlightenment... He hasn't texted or called at all. What could possibly be going through his mind at this time? Is it too many feelings to deal with right now? How should I proceed? I still love him two months later.

What is clingy? Clinging to bad actions is toxic.

Anyone?? 😱

need sun,moon and venus to get a good idea, also need his too. You can't go by Sun alone.

My sun is Virgo, moon in Leo, rising is Gemini, Venus in Libra.

His is sun in cancer, moon in Gemini, rising is Sagittarius, Venus in cancer.

Still clueless about what to do. Last month I called him that I was coming to get my stuff. As I was trying to gather things he looked very sad, but was mostly quiet, like he was holding back what he was thinking. He also kept asking me to come sit, then he'd hold onto me and hug. When I was finally leaving he wanted to kiss me and the hugs were constant/long. I told him I wish him the best, he replied with he didn't want to never hear from me again, he loved and cared for me. No mention of getting back together though.

Since then, he and I have gotten back into talking through txt. Then more sweet texts, like we were in a relationship. It wasn't everyday. He told me after a few weeks that he wants us to go and do things together.. Stuff we did for our dates. It was mutual and things were so happy and sweet, then he goes 3 days without talking. I didn't contact him at all, then one morning he sent a really long txt saying he was sorry for not talking.. That he had been super busy working and went into detail about it, in the end he said he loved me and he hopes I'm not mad/not wanting to talk. I hadn't slept that night and was at work when I replied, so my response was somewhat terse. I told him I wasn't upset that I understand, and that seemed like a lot of work. I don't know what happened, but now he is extremely distant. I'm so confused.. I still love him and don't want to let go.

Let him go and find someone else. I was with a cancer man for 10 years we broke up 3 times and got back together twice.

The third time I didn't look back. I couldn't keep doing the whole walking on eggshells each time we got back together.

Best decision of my life. Don't waste anymore time on a relationship going nowhere. You could end up wasting more than 3 years and found out in the end that it wasnt worth it.

Posted by Canbullrius
I like a clingy woman, i get overwhelmed by the love she has for me, and i bask in it, it's beautiful.

also wanted to add if they even average looking or slightly good looking we will let them do it as long as possible.

If they aren't attractive physically then the appeal for us to bask in the glory from now on isn't there, at least for me lol

Posted by Canbullrius

Posted by HighTide

Posted by Canbullrius
I like a clingy woman, i get overwhelmed by the love she has for me, and i bask in it, it's beautiful.

also wanted to add if they even average looking or slightly good looking we will let them do it as long as possible.

If they aren't attractive physically then the appeal for us to bask in the glory from now on isn't there, at least for me lol

I feel this can be different for each Cancer, i'm far more attached to someones personality than looks but i do have my limits.

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I do give people a chance if the personality is there despite looks, I am just saying its more enjoyable for me when I feel like other people want them as well. That makes me feel like I have someone who is a catch over a wash-up. I have had a ton of wash-ups and deep down I feel like I wouldn't have been their first choice when they were in their prime so its poetic justice for me.

If I feel like I am the last choice and they overwhelm me then I am going to be more bold in trying to domineer them to cateer to me and my moods since they can't really get anyone else and might as well throw that in the deal since they are hooked and aren't going to leave me unless I just absolutely do something totally immoral where they have no choice. The crap these women let me get away with really hurt my chances longterm with average looking women as I got use to being in 5 year old tantrum mode and they just took it like a champ every time.

Its like "If I am going to sex u up like you are a woman that looks like a 9 or 10" you better take the full blunt of my emotional wrath when it comes into play and like it. I do feel like I can be myself at the end of the day with these wash-ups so I am better able to sleep at night but I don't really want to take them around to my family as I always get strange looks as we are the opposite of a "cute couple".

I married a woman who wasn't physically attractive and turned out she was actually very ugly on the inside too once i got to know her fully. I ended up leaving her as I am not going to put up with an unattractive woman who doesn't worship me in some way. Only a good looking woman can boss me around and me take it otherwise I am going to act alpha as fuvk towards the washups where I don't care either way if they like my bad behavior.

Like I said in another post I have NPD but I like to give the Cancer spin on it when I can lol

Posted by bubbythewhale1
@hightide

So if she's physically attractive, takes care of you (in all ways), puts up with your "tantrums" but returns them with sass, what do you do with her? (scratches chin)

Mind Blown

Basically your creating a scenario that doesn't 🙂

Physically attractive women know they have other options that is why its not fun being an alpha male towards them.

Posted by Canbullrius

Posted by HighTide

Posted by bubbythewhale1
@hightide

So if she's physically attractive, takes care of you (in all ways), puts up with your "tantrums" but returns them with sass, what do you do with her? (scratches chin)

Mind Blown

Basically your creating a scenario that doesn't 🙂

Physically attractive women know they have other options that is why its not fun being an alpha male towards them.

An Alpha is a leader, peoples views of an Alpha are skewed by beta males blowing up their chest next to other males saying i am this and i am that. That's an immature picture.

An Alpha does not speak about it, he does it, he won't promise what he may not be able to achieve but still has a go at it.

An Alpha won't tell you something if it has no meaning, they weigh words carefully and are considerate to those around them

They treat people how they want to be treated.

They listen to others in need and support them.

An Alpha is not limited to the male sex.

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I agree with that, I would also that an Alpha male is not going to let a woman use her sexual influence over him in order to gain control and her knowing she can't pull that out in order to get what she wants. At the end of the day she won't respect you if that's the case and you will become less attractive to her and you become less of a man by doing this. It goes against nature somehow.

Sex should be given in the name of respect, not for someone to get over on someone. That goes for men and women.

Let me get this straight.

He asks for space and for you to stop clinging & you respond by going cold turkey on him bc suddenly you're so busy having a life

"Much has happened in the last few weeks" Ok so what's happened that couldn't have been happening with him by your side and without you dramatically making your exit to further try and manipulate something fundamentally simple: doing things together, and getting some time inbetween to yourselves !

What's this aversion Leo moons have towards balance?

Posted by HighTide

Posted by Canbullrius
I like a clingy woman, i get overwhelmed by the love she has for me, and i bask in it, it's beautiful.

also wanted to add if they even average looking or slightly good looking we will let them do it as long as possible.

If they aren't attractive physically then the appeal for us to bask in the glory from now on isn't there, at least for me lol

click to expand

Okay well to be honest, in his case, he has noonan syndrome. His physical looks has kept him from having girlfriends in the past. I'm on the attractive side though.

Posted by NoirAmaterasu

Posted by HighTide

Posted by Canbullrius
I like a clingy woman, i get overwhelmed by the love she has for me, and i bask in it, it's beautiful.

also wanted to add if they even average looking or slightly good looking we will let them do it as long as possible.

If they aren't attractive physically then the appeal for us to bask in the glory from now on isn't there, at least for me lol

Okay well to be honest, in his case, he has noonan syndrome. His physical looks has kept him from having girlfriends in the past. I'm on the attractive side though.

click to expand

He might feel insecure then because you look good and "could have any man".

Maybe just be there for him as a friend while he gets through some things instead of pulling the Virgo lock and key cold no contact thing into place. Cancer's and Virgo can make really good friends when you put the romance on the backburner for a while and readdress it later, the connection itself never leaves.