SagiSun, AquaRising, LeoMoon, LibraMars+Venus
@SunMoonStars
12 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 1685 · Topics: 200
Dating a Cancer?
Most cancers move quickly. Some are players and some are serious. How to know? If he wants to be exclusive with you and he's not dating anyone else.
Cuddle is usually code for sex if it's that early. I'm a cancer female. But no cancer male I've known closely were even remotely alike. I was eventually turned off by all of them.
Posted by pinkbird03
Most cancers move quickly. Some are players and some are serious. How to know? If he wants to be exclusive with you and he's not dating anyone else.
Thanks for your reply.
It's only been 2 hang outs and he just texted me "I'm thinking about you, I want to cuddle". What is this?
Is it too soon to ask if he's exclusive and if he's dating others?
Posted by MeMyselfAndIntriguedThanks, yes I feel like it's code too. It's a turn off to me tbh. Like, chill out boy!
Cuddle is usually code for sex if it's that early. I'm a cancer female. But no cancer male I've known closely were even remotely alike. I was eventually turned off by all of them.
Posted by narayanaThanks, I'll keep what you said in mind.
he's keeping it classy
would still try to bang you if you reciprocate his touchiness
but you better wait a bit
if you're srsly interested, be communicative and don't ignore him
or else he will move on rather quickly
the thing is to assure a cancer that you're really into them from the very beginning
since the initial stage is when we can fall in and fall out in a minute if we don't see it worthy
How can I tell him that I think there's potential to build something, but want to take it slow. Why is he so insistent on cuddling? Is this some kind of Cancer test?
Posted by SunMoonStarsYou could ask if he's the type to date one girl at a time or multiple girls. I mean I've asked that before.Posted by pinkbird03
Most cancers move quickly. Some are players and some are serious. How to know? If he wants to be exclusive with you and he's not dating anyone else.
Thanks for your reply.
It's only been 2 hang outs and he just texted me "I'm thinking about you, I want to cuddle". What is this?
Is it too soon to ask if he's exclusive and if he's dating others?
click to expand
Yea. Cuddle could mean sex. Has he talked about anything else that's sexual?? I've read that you should wait to date 4 to hang out with a guy alone at one or the others home. Anything before may suggest sexual intentions only.
Posted by narayanaThanks, I said pretty much that. Let's see how he wants to play this. Ball is in his court.Posted by SunMoonStarsmost cancers are very touchy and lustfulPosted by narayanaThanks, I'll keep what you said in mind.
he's keeping it classy
would still try to bang you if you reciprocate his touchiness
but you better wait a bit
if you're srsly interested, be communicative and don't ignore him
or else he will move on rather quickly
the thing is to assure a cancer that you're really into them from the very beginning
since the initial stage is when we can fall in and fall out in a minute if we don't see it worthy
How can I tell him that I think there's potential to build something, but want to take it slow. Why is he so insistent on cuddling? Is this some kind of Cancer test?
cuddling is physical and may lead to sex, but he may assume you're too easy if it happens too soon
just say you're not ready yet if he pushes you to do something
if he seems to lose interest then, he's shadyclick to expand
A firefighter? sounds very familiar...not in PA by any chance? Lol
Update - so he's been around wanting to get together 4xs. He has suggested - a walk, a club, visit him at the fire station, and a pub. I haven't had the time since this post so keep turning him down.
a weird one. No, but really maybe he just wants to cuddle, but he kind of sounds desperate. IJS
Posted by SunMoonStarsPosted by pinkbird03
Most cancers move quickly. Some are players and some are serious. How to know? If he wants to be exclusive with you and he's not dating anyone else.
Thanks for your reply.
It's only been 2 hang outs and he just texted me "I'm thinking about you, I want to cuddle". What is this?
Is it too soon to ask if he's exclusive and if he's dating others?
click to expand
Cuddle 😄
He is moving fast.....which makes me think he is either needy (codependent) or has another agenda(like sleeping with you and thats it)
Both of those are just disastrous
"I told him I'm not emotionally ready to get intimate with anyone. He kept up with the touchy feely thing during the night and would pass it off as trying to make me laugh. "
That is sth i wouldn't ignore...you told him what is true to you (boundary) and he kept doing it anyways. Someone who does that doesnot respect you. They are out to get what they want. Very selfish...
Yes I've dealt with the first type of cancer you stated above. He moved so fast I was his girlfriend exclusively 3 days after our first date but we were serious. I think the moving so fast and meeting everyone is okay but then you forget to really get to know someone before making that huge commitment and not knowing what you are getting into but you are already in love so it's like now you have to deal with it.
"Lets cuddle" is the sugarcoated way to say, "I want to fvck you". Any girl who has turned down a hard dick will likely know how it turns out when they do, so if wanting to avoid that, it would be best to not get to a cuddling stage quite yet.
Clearly though, you are more interested in the second cancer you mentioned. Just know that they both want to move things quickly, and the only difference between these two is the presentation. Which is why, I would actually recommend the first cancer who is being more direct. But direct cancers are also quick to bounce if the feel or get rejected. They DO NOT play hard to get.
Crabs are a binary species with not a whole lot of middle ground: All or none; 0 or 1; Black or white; Hero or zero. That sort of thing. We're still awesome though!
Clearly though, you are more interested in the second cancer you mentioned. Just know that they both want to move things quickly, and the only difference between these two is the presentation. Which is why, I would actually recommend the first cancer who is being more direct. But direct cancers are also quick to bounce if the feel or get rejected. They DO NOT play hard to get.
Crabs are a binary species with not a whole lot of middle ground: All or none; 0 or 1; Black or white; Hero or zero. That sort of thing. We're still awesome though!
Posted by CrabraI turned the "cuddle" bs down in person, and refused his 4 invitations afterward to hang out (walk, club, pub, and visit him at work). He's asked me if I will be free next week, and I have not replied yet.
"Lets cuddle" is the sugarcoated way to say, "I want to fvck you". Any girl who has turned down a hard dick will likely know how it turns out when they do, so if wanting to avoid that, it would be best to not get to a cuddling stage quite yet.
Clearly though, you are more interested in the second cancer you mentioned. Just know that they both want to move things quickly, and the only difference between these two is the presentation. Which is why, I would actually recommend the first cancer who is being more direct. But direct cancers are also quick to bounce if the feel or get rejected. They DO NOT play hard to get.
Crabs are a binary species with not a whole lot of middle ground: All or none; 0 or 1; Black or white; Hero or zero. That sort of thing. We're still awesome though!
Posted by Leo_LavishWow that's fast. How did it turn out? How long before you cuddled?
Yes I've dealt with the first type of cancer you stated above. He moved so fast I was his girlfriend exclusively 3 days after our first date but we were serious. I think the moving so fast and meeting everyone is okay but then you forget to really get to know someone before making that huge commitment and not knowing what you are getting into but you are already in love so it's like now you have to deal with it.
Jeez! What's wrong with a little cuddle...? 🙂
People take this stuff too seriously. Let me break it down (as someone who has been ghosted because I like to cuddle and plan picnics on the 1st and 2nd date):
1: Cuddling does not a relationship make.
2: Romance does not a relationship make.
I'm going to tell you a huge secret...
When you start a new job, you give 150% in the first week, right? You come in on time, you're curteous, cooperative...you put your best foot forward, right?
You want to show your employers that you're perfect for the job, right?
But it's the first week...you don't really know the culture at that new workplace, you don't know how good or bad HR is, you don't know if your payslip will be delivered on time and without errors or not, you don't know if your new boss is a nice person or not...but all that unknowing, doesn't mean that YOU can't give your very, very, best...right?
Over time, when you get to know your new work environment, that's when you can start thinking about staying at the company or maybe you'll find a better job that improves on what you feel is lacking. Your actual decision only comes later, once you've read the environment. And when youbread the environment, you want to take yourself out of the equation. You want to say:
"Okay, so I came to this company, I gave them my very best right from the beginning -- 110% -- so my decision to stay (or go) is not based on my employer reacting to me positively (or negatively) because of what I did, but my decision to stay or go is based on my employer's natural behaviour only".
To put it another way, if I do my work with a smile and kindness from day 1, it doesn't mean I'm 100% committed to the job. Just means I'm giving it a fair chance. If it doesn't work out, it won't be my fault.
CANCERIANS APPROACH RELATIONSHIPS IN A SIMILAR WAY...TADA!
The reason we are super-romantic from day 1 is because we want to give it a fair shot. We're not looking for a golfbuddy..we're looking for a relationship so OF COURSE we wanna cuddle on day 1 and do husband and wifey things on day 3. Why waste time pretending to coy schoolgirls? When we have a job to do we do it.
But remember this: just because we romance the buyer out of you, it doesn't mean that we want to be your boyfriend. We haven't decided yet, we don't even know you yet! And it takes us a long time to decided (generally).
This is what people don't understand, and they keep asking:
"Why did he disappear, it was going so well? Why did he change? Why is he ghosting me? Why is he moving too fast? Is he a player?"
No, he's looking for Love and he believes that the best way to find it, is to start off playing the part. That's how we like to get to know someone. If you don't like to cuddle, if you don't like nature, hiking, hide and seek (haha) I'd rather know on the first date so that I can move on instead of "having coffee" and have you *tell* me what you're like (most people don't even know what they're really like).
People take this stuff too seriously. Let me break it down (as someone who has been ghosted because I like to cuddle and plan picnics on the 1st and 2nd date):
1: Cuddling does not a relationship make.
2: Romance does not a relationship make.
I'm going to tell you a huge secret...
When you start a new job, you give 150% in the first week, right? You come in on time, you're curteous, cooperative...you put your best foot forward, right?
You want to show your employers that you're perfect for the job, right?
But it's the first week...you don't really know the culture at that new workplace, you don't know how good or bad HR is, you don't know if your payslip will be delivered on time and without errors or not, you don't know if your new boss is a nice person or not...but all that unknowing, doesn't mean that YOU can't give your very, very, best...right?
Over time, when you get to know your new work environment, that's when you can start thinking about staying at the company or maybe you'll find a better job that improves on what you feel is lacking. Your actual decision only comes later, once you've read the environment. And when youbread the environment, you want to take yourself out of the equation. You want to say:
"Okay, so I came to this company, I gave them my very best right from the beginning -- 110% -- so my decision to stay (or go) is not based on my employer reacting to me positively (or negatively) because of what I did, but my decision to stay or go is based on my employer's natural behaviour only".
To put it another way, if I do my work with a smile and kindness from day 1, it doesn't mean I'm 100% committed to the job. Just means I'm giving it a fair chance. If it doesn't work out, it won't be my fault.
CANCERIANS APPROACH RELATIONSHIPS IN A SIMILAR WAY...TADA!
The reason we are super-romantic from day 1 is because we want to give it a fair shot. We're not looking for a golfbuddy..we're looking for a relationship so OF COURSE we wanna cuddle on day 1 and do husband and wifey things on day 3. Why waste time pretending to coy schoolgirls? When we have a job to do we do it.
But remember this: just because we romance the buyer out of you, it doesn't mean that we want to be your boyfriend. We haven't decided yet, we don't even know you yet! And it takes us a long time to decided (generally).
This is what people don't understand, and they keep asking:
"Why did he disappear, it was going so well? Why did he change? Why is he ghosting me? Why is he moving too fast? Is he a player?"
No, he's looking for Love and he believes that the best way to find it, is to start off playing the part. That's how we like to get to know someone. If you don't like to cuddle, if you don't like nature, hiking, hide and seek (haha) I'd rather know on the first date so that I can move on instead of "having coffee" and have you *tell* me what you're like (most people don't even know what they're really like).
Posted by charliemannerThanks for your response!
Jeez! What's wrong with a little cuddle...? 🙂
People take this stuff too seriously. Let me break it down (as someone who has been ghosted because I like to cuddle and plan picnics on the 1st and 2nd date):
1: Cuddling does not a relationship make.
2: Romance does not a relationship make.
I'm going to tell you a huge secret...
When you start a new job, you give 150% in the first week, right? You come in on time, you're curteous, cooperative...you put your best foot forward, right?
You want to show your employers that you're perfect for the job, right?
But it's the first week...you don't really know the culture at that new workplace, you don't know how good or bad HR is, you don't know if your payslip will be delivered on time and without errors or not, you don't know if your new boss is a nice person or not...but all that unknowing, doesn't mean that YOU can't give your very, very, best...right?
Over time, when you get to know your new work environment, that's when you can start thinking about staying at the company or maybe you'll find a better job that improves on what you feel is lacking. Your actual decision only comes later, once you've read the environment. And when youbread the environment, you want to take yourself out of the equation. You want to say:
"Okay, so I came to this company, I gave them my very best right from the beginning -- 110% -- so my decision to stay (or go) is not based on my employer reacting to me positively (or negatively) because of what I did, but my decision to stay or go is based on my employer's natural behaviour only".
To put it another way, if I do my work with a smile and kindness from day 1, it doesn't mean I'm 100% committed to the job. Just means I'm giving it a fair chance. If it doesn't work out, it won't be my fault.
CANCERIANS APPROACH RELATIONSHIPS IN A SIMILAR WAY...TADA!
The reason we are super-romantic from day 1 is because we want to give it a fair shot. We're not looking for a golfbuddy..we're looking for a relationship so OF COURSE we wanna cuddle on day 1 and do husband and wifey things on day 3. Why waste time pretending to coy schoolgirls? When we have a job to do we do it.
But remember this: just because we romance the buyer out of you, it doesn't mean that we want to be your boyfriend. We haven't decided yet, we don't even know you yet! And it takes us a long time to decided (generally).
This is what people don't understand, and they keep asking:
"Why did he disappear, it was going so well? Why did he change? Why is he ghosting me? Why is he moving too fast? Is he a player?"
No, he's looking for Love and he believes that the best way to find it, is to start off playing the part. That's how we like to get to know someone. If you don't like to cuddle, if you don't like nature, hiking, hide and seek (haha) I'd rather know on the first date so that I can move on instead of "having coffee" and have you *tell* me what you're like (most people don't even know what they're really like).
Question, it sounds like cancers guys will play the part...but they might not actually mean it. Isn't that kind of fake and a lead on? Sorry if my question is too blunt!
I don't want to end up sleeping with the guy and then oh! he changes he mind.
Cancers move fast and generally have good intentions. I've dated a few. First date with one was Disney World. The one I almost married, was always on me... wrinkle my clothes before we got where we were going...Kept hands down there while driving.
If you want to watch out for the players, look out for those with Venus in Gemini. However, even the ones with Venus in Gemini were serious with me but, I'm Gemini dominate. They just share kink.
If you want to watch out for the players, look out for those with Venus in Gemini. However, even the ones with Venus in Gemini were serious with me but, I'm Gemini dominate. They just share kink.
Posted by SunMoonStarsYou're welcome! 😉Posted by charliemannerThanks for your response!
Jeez! What's wrong with a little cuddle...? 🙂
People take this stuff too seriously. Let me break it down (as someone who has been ghosted because I like to cuddle and plan picnics on the 1st and 2nd date):
1: Cuddling does not a relationship make.
2: Romance does not a relationship make.
I'm going to tell you a huge secret...
When you start a new job, you give 150% in the first week, right? You come in on time, you're curteous, cooperative...you put your best foot forward, right?
You want to show your employers that you're perfect for the job, right?
But it's the first week...you don't really know the culture at that new workplace, you don't know how good or bad HR is, you don't know if your payslip will be delivered on time and without errors or not, you don't know if your new boss is a nice person or not...but all that unknowing, doesn't mean that YOU can't give your very, very, best...right?
Over time, when you get to know your new work environment, that's when you can start thinking about staying at the company or maybe you'll find a better job that improves on what you feel is lacking. Your actual decision only comes later, once you've read the environment. And when youbread the environment, you want to take yourself out of the equation. You want to say:
"Okay, so I came to this company, I gave them my very best right from the beginning -- 110% -- so my decision to stay (or go) is not based on my employer reacting to me positively (or negatively) because of what I did, but my decision to stay or go is based on my employer's natural behaviour only".
To put it another way, if I do my work with a smile and kindness from day 1, it doesn't mean I'm 100% committed to the job. Just means I'm giving it a fair chance. If it doesn't work out, it won't be my fault.
CANCERIANS APPROACH RELATIONSHIPS IN A SIMILAR WAY...TADA!
The reason we are super-romantic from day 1 is because we want to give it a fair shot. We're not looking for a golfbuddy..we're looking for a relationship so OF COURSE we wanna cuddle on day 1 and do husband and wifey things on day 3. Why waste time pretending to coy schoolgirls? When we have a job to do we do it.
But remember this: just because we romance the buyer out of you, it doesn't mean that we want to be your boyfriend. We haven't decided yet, we don't even know you yet! And it takes us a long time to decided (generally).
This is what people don't understand, and they keep asking:
"Why did he disappear, it was going so well? Why did he change? Why is he ghosting me? Why is he moving too fast? Is he a player?"
No, he's looking for Love and he believes that the best way to find it, is to start off playing the part. That's how we like to get to know someone. If you don't like to cuddle, if you don't like nature, hiking, hide and seek (haha) I'd rather know on the first date so that I can move on instead of "having coffee" and have you *tell* me what you're like (most people don't even know what they're really like).
Question, it sounds like cancers guys will play the part...but they might not actually mean it. Isn't that kind of fake and a lead on? Sorry if my question is too blunt!
I don't want to end up sleeping with the guy and then oh! he changes he mind.
click to expand
If you perk up, smile and say "hello" to your boss when he walks into the room are you being fake and leading him/her on to make him think you love your job when you actually hate it?
Or, are you just trying to make a good impression so that your boss remembers you and how positive you are which might lead to more opportunities and a good working relationship?
That's how it is with Cancerians. We are aiming for that great relationship and we want to start with those things which create bonding experiences. I mean, kissing in a gondola on a warm breezy evening engenders positive feelings more than just meeting at a noisy, dingy bar.
As for sleeping with the man...well, back to the boss example:
Do you think that just because you perk up and smile at your boss when he/she enters the room, that you are guaranteed to get a promotion or more opportunities? Of course not. Would you feel bad and say:
"I can't believe I smiled at my boss and then he went and gave the promotion to someone else! I stretched my cheeks and showed mybteeth for nothing!"
No you wouldn't say that because nobody forced you to smile, you did it of your own accord and perhaps even enjoyed it. I say this to say that you always have a choice. You don't have to sleep with him and he will most likely understand. As Cancer when I say I just want to cuddle, that's what I literally mean. In fact I prefer to kiss and cuddle in the beginning. Maybe a little teasing, over-the-boxer-brief touch and hump session at most (in the early stages)...I dont know about other Cancerians but I don't always get off on penetration (if I may be so direct) nor do I think it to be the pinnacle of sexual expression.
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------------------------------
The second (current) one hung out once or twice, knew I had a boyfriend and was respectful. Out of the blue, he contacts me, and I'm single, so he asked to hang out. We went for drinks twice, and on the second time he was very touchy feely (like hand on my back, hand on my knee, asking for a kiss on the cheek if I lost a bet). I told him I'm not emotionally ready to get intimate with anyone. He kept up with the touchy feely thing during the night and would pass it off as trying to make me laugh. I feel him constantly staring at me to see my reaction in that water way 🙂
He talks pretty big as well, like he's going to help me with getting my new place set up next year. He invited me to visit him at work (he's a fightfighter), and mentioned a roadtrip to see a concert sometime (saying we would get a hotel with 2 beds). He also invited me over to his place to have dinner/movie night, and that he would give me his bed and he'd sleep on the couch if we drank.
He mentioned cuddling as well as one of his favourite things, and I can feel that he'll try that if I did go over.
My questions - are Cancers who move so quickly players?? What's going on here??
I have no experience with them and I'm not naturally water-y, please help! It's hard for me to read him.