rach10
@rach10
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 56 · Topics: 7
Heyy cancerians!!
Tell us the whole story.
cancers always leave lol
Posted by LovingSeraphina
I don't think guys tell you they love you and see a future if they don't. I would say you are just feeling insecure 🙂
i had a cancer do this to me.. 😢
Posted by LovingSeraphinaPosted by lolk8yI am sorry ...CANCER SUCKS! 😛Posted by LovingSeraphina
I don't think guys tell you they love you and see a future if they don't. I would say you are just feeling insecure 🙂
i had a cancer do this to me.. 😢
Seriously that's understandably going to hurt your heart 😢click to expand
this is the second time he's ghosted me, I'm sure not all cancers are the same... but I hope OP understands once they leave they will come back and leave again and again and it will hurt her heart more.
Truthfully maybe... I lied to people all the time to spare their feelings ALL THE FREAKING TIME
I don't lead people on... But i have been know to ghost people -_- I just slowly pull away...
I don't lead people on... But i have been know to ghost people -_- I just slowly pull away...
Cancers can be the devil ?
But I still love them. ?
But I still love them. ?
I most definitely would not tell a girl I see a future with her if I really don't. That's more than a lie. That is leading someone on. However, crab indirectness can be attributed to those they reject as well as those they pursue. It is not uncommon for a crab to 'hope' you get the hint. However, telling you he sees a future with you when he really doesn't isn't sugar coating anything. In fact, it lays out the glass shards he's about to drag you through.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
Posted by CrabraAnd if you know that she is damn loyal to you... then? Will you leave her.. when you know she will do anything to keep you.. will you? ??
I most definitely would not tell a girl I see a future with her if I really don't. That's more than a lie. That is leading someone on. However, crab indirectness can be attributed to those they reject as well as those they pursue. It is not uncommon for a crab to 'hope' you get the hint. However, telling you he sees a future with you when he really doesn't isn't sugar coating anything. In fact, it lays out the glass shards he's about to drag you through.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraAnd if you know that she is damn loyal to you... then? Will you leave her.. when you know she will do anything to keep you.. will you? ??
I most definitely would not tell a girl I see a future with her if I really don't. That's more than a lie. That is leading someone on. However, crab indirectness can be attributed to those they reject as well as those they pursue. It is not uncommon for a crab to 'hope' you get the hint. However, telling you he sees a future with you when he really doesn't isn't sugar coating anything. In fact, it lays out the glass shards he's about to drag you through.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
click to expand
If I feel like she is going to abandon me? Yes, I will leave her. These feelings are not formulated in the logistic areas of the brain. It is a developed instinct much like a reflex you gain after scalding yourself for the first time. These reflexes serve to protect you. It's the same thing, only emotionally, and gained after getting hurt.
You mentioned that in his previous relationship he put a lot of effort into a toxic person, and this perfectly explains his behavior now. I know it is confounding to think that he put all this effort into this person, but not you who is clearly the better choice. But try not to think of that way. What you're dealing with is a reinforced shell.
All you can do at this point is wait for him to come to you. You can tell him that you would like to work through things, but it will be a futile effort unless he does the same. It's up to you to determine how much this is worth.
Posted by CrabraWhat are the chances of them coming back?Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraAnd if you know that she is damn loyal to you... then? Will you leave her.. when you know she will do anything to keep you.. will you? ??
I most definitely would not tell a girl I see a future with her if I really don't. That's more than a lie. That is leading someone on. However, crab indirectness can be attributed to those they reject as well as those they pursue. It is not uncommon for a crab to 'hope' you get the hint. However, telling you he sees a future with you when he really doesn't isn't sugar coating anything. In fact, it lays out the glass shards he's about to drag you through.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
If I feel like she is going to abandon me? Yes, I will leave her. These feelings are not formulated in the logistic areas of the brain. It is a developed instinct much like a reflex you gain after scalding yourself for the first time. These reflexes serve to protect you. It's the same thing, only emotionally, and gained after getting hurt.
You mentioned that in his previous relationship he put a lot of effort into a toxic person, and this perfectly explains his behavior now. I know it is confounding to think that he put all this effort into this person, but not you who is clearly the better choice. But try not to think of that way. What you're dealing with is a reinforced shell.
All you can do at this point is wait for him to come to you. You can tell him that you would like to work through things, but it will be a futile effort unless he does the same. It's up to you to determine how much this is worth.
click to expand
And what are the most important things that scares them out?
We wer good friends for a long time later for almost 1.5 year we wer in different cities and shared a good friendship for first few months and then when it turned into relationship (for which he waited for an year) it was perfct for 3 months and then he changed.. and when I came back I observed a different change (always having fun, whenever I tried to connect to him emotionally, he pulled back).. which made me uncomfortable with him at times.. I hardly used to share my emotions with him because of his moodiness... sometimes he wanted to share everything and the other moment he wanted to keep it like "not everything should be shared"... he had always been loyal.. but this weird behavior is like he is trying to maintain distnc
I left people who were very loyal and more into me than I into them. (For valid reasons of course, like codependency, bad tempers, red flags...). It may take a few weeks to make up my mind, but within those weeks things would already significantly cool down, I distance myself so I can process my thoughts.
Posted by peoBut we don't fight.. he doesn't get much time to talk.. bcz of different working hours.. we don't get time to communicate and both of us managed well with that... wenevr we could make time we used to meet and had a good physical relationship as well. But this all of a sudden? Its really confusing me..
I left people who were very loyal and more into me than I into them. (For valid reasons of course, like codependency, bad tempers, red flags...). It may take a few weeks to make up my mind, but within those weeks things would already significantly cool down, I distance myself so I can process my thoughts.
Can this be the reason that he has lost interest?
lol
Posted by rach10I'm not sure if it's the case for him, but if I'm into someone I communicate whenever I can and I'll make the time for it. Maybe he's just overwhelmed/not ready because of stress. But maybe he emotionally detached because of a growing (communicative) distance. He might as well think this is enough for you, but he actually wants more contact with a partner.Posted by peoBut we don't fight.. he doesn't get much time to talk.. bcz of different working hours.. we don't get time to communicate and both of us managed well with that... wenevr we could make time we used to meet and had a good physical relationship as well. But this all of a sudden? Its really confusing me..
I left people who were very loyal and more into me than I into them. (For valid reasons of course, like codependency, bad tempers, red flags...). It may take a few weeks to make up my mind, but within those weeks things would already significantly cool down, I distance myself so I can process my thoughts.
Can this be the reason that he has lost interest?click to expand
I'd ask him where he is standing in your relationship and what his expectations are. I know it's not easy to do that, but cancers want to be heard and understood. So no matter the outcome, in the end it's going to be the best for you to know how to go forward.
Posted by peoYeah! I asked him sometimes though that what are his expectations, He simply said I don't expect anything from anyone now. He has become emotionally distant from everyone, doesn't share anything with his male best friends either. I tried asking him but he says I just want to work no relationships no commitments no marriage.Posted by rach10I'm not sure if it's the case for him, but if I'm into someone I communicate whenever I can and I'll make the time for it. Maybe he's just overwhelmed/not ready because of stress. But maybe he emotionally detached because of a growing (communicative) distance. He might as well think this is enough for you, but he actually wants more contact with a partner.Posted by peoBut we don't fight.. he doesn't get much time to talk.. bcz of different working hours.. we don't get time to communicate and both of us managed well with that... wenevr we could make time we used to meet and had a good physical relationship as well. But this all of a sudden? Its really confusing me..
I left people who were very loyal and more into me than I into them. (For valid reasons of course, like codependency, bad tempers, red flags...). It may take a few weeks to make up my mind, but within those weeks things would already significantly cool down, I distance myself so I can process my thoughts.
Can this be the reason that he has lost interest?
I'd ask him where he is standing in your relationship and what his expectations are. I know it's not easy to do that, but cancers want to be heard and understood. So no matter the outcome, in the end it's going to be the best for you to know how to go forward.
click to expand
He once told me that he is afraid of separations. Can this be the reason?
I have never heard of any cancer man doing these things but he is trying to distant himself emotionally from everyone. I am worried.
Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraWhat are the chances of them coming back?Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraAnd if you know that she is damn loyal to you... then? Will you leave her.. when you know she will do anything to keep you.. will you? ??
I most definitely would not tell a girl I see a future with her if I really don't. That's more than a lie. That is leading someone on. However, crab indirectness can be attributed to those they reject as well as those they pursue. It is not uncommon for a crab to 'hope' you get the hint. However, telling you he sees a future with you when he really doesn't isn't sugar coating anything. In fact, it lays out the glass shards he's about to drag you through.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
If I feel like she is going to abandon me? Yes, I will leave her. These feelings are not formulated in the logistic areas of the brain. It is a developed instinct much like a reflex you gain after scalding yourself for the first time. These reflexes serve to protect you. It's the same thing, only emotionally, and gained after getting hurt.
You mentioned that in his previous relationship he put a lot of effort into a toxic person, and this perfectly explains his behavior now. I know it is confounding to think that he put all this effort into this person, but not you who is clearly the better choice. But try not to think of that way. What you're dealing with is a reinforced shell.
All you can do at this point is wait for him to come to you. You can tell him that you would like to work through things, but it will be a futile effort unless he does the same. It's up to you to determine how much this is worth.
And what are the most important things that scares them out?
We wer good friends for a long time later for almost 1.5 year we wer in different cities and shared a good friendship for first few months and then when it turned into relationship (for which he waited for an year) it was perfct for 3 months and then he changed.. and when I came back I observed a different change (always having fun, whenever I tried to connect to him emotionally, he pulled back).. which made me uncomfortable with him at times.. I hardly used to share my emotions with him because of his moodiness... sometimes he wanted to share everything and the other moment he wanted to keep it like "not everything should be shared"... he had always been loyal.. but this weird behavior is like he is trying to maintain distncclick to expand
I really can't say what the chances are of them coming back, or coming out of their shell. It could range from very likely to never. It depends on the mind, not the sign.
The most important things that scare them off are whatever emotionally painful experience(s) they have from their past. Again, I cannot accurately conclude what these are as they are different for everyone. What is important is to find out what triggers, and avoid them. This however, requires solid communication from your partner.
You are correct about his behavior though. For whatever reason, he has decided to keep a certain amount of distance between the two of you. This is from a lack of security he feels with you, or he has lost interest. Either way, you are not getting what you need from him. You have to take a step back and ask yourself if this is even worth it.
Posted by CrabraMy intuition says that he loves me but he is pulling himself back because of insecurities about separations...Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraWhat are the chances of them coming back?Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraAnd if you know that she is damn loyal to you... then? Will you leave her.. when you know she will do anything to keep you.. will you? ??
I most definitely would not tell a girl I see a future with her if I really don't. That's more than a lie. That is leading someone on. However, crab indirectness can be attributed to those they reject as well as those they pursue. It is not uncommon for a crab to 'hope' you get the hint. However, telling you he sees a future with you when he really doesn't isn't sugar coating anything. In fact, it lays out the glass shards he's about to drag you through.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
If I feel like she is going to abandon me? Yes, I will leave her. These feelings are not formulated in the logistic areas of the brain. It is a developed instinct much like a reflex you gain after scalding yourself for the first time. These reflexes serve to protect you. It's the same thing, only emotionally, and gained after getting hurt.
You mentioned that in his previous relationship he put a lot of effort into a toxic person, and this perfectly explains his behavior now. I know it is confounding to think that he put all this effort into this person, but not you who is clearly the better choice. But try not to think of that way. What you're dealing with is a reinforced shell.
All you can do at this point is wait for him to come to you. You can tell him that you would like to work through things, but it will be a futile effort unless he does the same. It's up to you to determine how much this is worth.
And what are the most important things that scares them out?
We wer good friends for a long time later for almost 1.5 year we wer in different cities and shared a good friendship for first few months and then when it turned into relationship (for which he waited for an year) it was perfct for 3 months and then he changed.. and when I came back I observed a different change (always having fun, whenever I tried to connect to him emotionally, he pulled back).. which made me uncomfortable with him at times.. I hardly used to share my emotions with him because of his moodiness... sometimes he wanted to share everything and the other moment he wanted to keep it like "not everything should be shared"... he had always been loyal.. but this weird behavior is like he is trying to maintain distnc
I really can't say what the chances are of them coming back, or coming out of their shell. It could range from very likely to never. It depends on the mind, not the sign.
The most important things that scare them off are whatever emotionally painful experience(s) they have from their past. Again, I cannot accurately conclude what these are as they are different for everyone. What is important is to find out what triggers, and avoid them. This however, requires solid communication from your partner.
You are correct about his behavior though. For whatever reason, he has decided to keep a certain amount of distance between the two of you. This is from a lack of security he feels with you, or he has lost interest. Either way, you are not getting what you need from him. You have to take a step back and ask yourself if this is even worth it.
click to expand
Once I acted like I don't care about our break up.. he himself came up aftr few days and started putting his efforts (when we wer in a long distance)..
I am just worried that if he is testing me and if by not calling or texting I m failing... or does he really want to move on this time? Muddled... I have observed his behavior.. he acts very cold when hurt or insecure but deep inside he does feel alot.. I don't know if this is the case this time..
Right now what is the this man is expecting me to do?
Posted by notsosureWell I really don't know.. because it was going quites well till last week.. infact just 2 days before breaking up with me he said "I love you" after a very long time.. bc we don't usually say that often.. and just after two days wen I called him to meet.. he seemed so stressed about separations.. that he simply said that I don't want to get married I have decided.. for me this kind of decisions are "right now" decisions bc if you are being influenced by the things happening around you and you are deciding that..Posted by rach10But if it´s this difficutl, where you have to wonder what´s right to do like this, you are not right for each other. That´s not really a good relationship to try and play games like that and be what the other person want you to be instead of being yourself.Posted by CrabraMy intuition says that he loves me but he is pulling himself back because of insecurities about separations...Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraWhat are the chances of them coming back?Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraAnd if you know that she is damn loyal to you... then? Will you leave her.. when you know she will do anything to keep you.. will you? ??
I most definitely would not tell a girl I see a future with her if I really don't. That's more than a lie. That is leading someone on. However, crab indirectness can be attributed to those they reject as well as those they pursue. It is not uncommon for a crab to 'hope' you get the hint. However, telling you he sees a future with you when he really doesn't isn't sugar coating anything. In fact, it lays out the glass shards he's about to drag you through.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
If I feel like she is going to abandon me? Yes, I will leave her. These feelings are not formulated in the logistic areas of the brain. It is a developed instinct much like a reflex you gain after scalding yourself for the first time. These reflexes serve to protect you. It's the same thing, only emotionally, and gained after getting hurt.
You mentioned that in his previous relationship he put a lot of effort into a toxic person, and this perfectly explains his behavior now. I know it is confounding to think that he put all this effort into this person, but not you who is clearly the better choice. But try not to think of that way. What you're dealing with is a reinforced shell.
All you can do at this point is wait for him to come to you. You can tell him that you would like to work through things, but it will be a futile effort unless he does the same. It's up to you to determine how much this is worth.
And what are the most important things that scares them out?
We wer good friends for a long time later for almost 1.5 year we wer in different cities and shared a good friendship for first few months and then when it turned into relationship (for which he waited for an year) it was perfct for 3 months and then he changed.. and when I came back I observed a different change (always having fun, whenever I tried to connect to him emotionally, he pulled back).. which made me uncomfortable with him at times.. I hardly used to share my emotions with him because of his moodiness... sometimes he wanted to share everything and the other moment he wanted to keep it like "not everything should be shared"... he had always been loyal.. but this weird behavior is like he is trying to maintain distnc
I really can't say what the chances are of them coming back, or coming out of their shell. It could range from very likely to never. It depends on the mind, not the sign.
The most important things that scare them off are whatever emotionally painful experience(s) they have from their past. Again, I cannot accurately conclude what these are as they are different for everyone. What is important is to find out what triggers, and avoid them. This however, requires solid communication from your partner.
You are correct about his behavior though. For whatever reason, he has decided to keep a certain amount of distance between the two of you. This is from a lack of security he feels with you, or he has lost interest. Either way, you are not getting what you need from him. You have to take a step back and ask yourself if this is even worth it.
Once I acted like I don't care about our break up.. he himself came up aftr few days and started putting his efforts (when we wer in a long distance)..
I am just worried that if he is testing me and if by not calling or texting I m failing... or does he really want to move on this time? Muddled... I have observed his behavior.. he acts very cold when hurt or insecure but deep inside he does feel alot.. I don't know if this is the case this time..
Right now what is the this man is expecting me to do?
click to expand
I just wish to know that if cancer man really loves you will he come back by himself? I mean does no contact work on them?
? things were going well the way we both wanted. Sometimes I had problems woth his behavior sometimes he had. But we loved each other so much that we always talked about our future... problems come up in every relationship so that is not a problem for me.. but I just hope that this one too get sorted...
Posted by rach10
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
This strikes me as a man who know and recognizes his emotions and goes with it despite the consequences of having his feelings crushed. He appears quite unapologetic in that area.
I hate to admit that you caught him on the rebound, but that's what it looks like. You seem like a great girl, and I'm sure that he already knows this. Which is why he saw a future with you and invested 2.5 years....but emotionally...he just wasn't feeling it.
I'm not a Cancer. I could be wrong. Maybe someone will shed some light on this.
Posted by TaurusBull1977Yeah... thats right.. and when I confessed my feelings to him even I felt that may be he is just being emotional and haven't been over her yet.. but for almost 1 year he kept waiting and also many times wen he was in his past relationship he always considered my advice... when he was in his past relationship there was something which even his friends used to say that to him that he talks to me more than to his ex gf (being in a relationship with her).Posted by rach10
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
This strikes me as a man who know and recognizes his emotions and goes with it despite the consequences of having his feelings crushed. He appears quite unapologetic in that area.
I hate to admit that you caught him on the rebound, but that's what it looks like. You seem like a great girl, and I'm sure that he already knows this. Which is why he saw a future with you and invested 2.5 years....but emotionally...he just wasn't feeling it.
I'm not a Cancer. I could be wrong. Maybe someone will shed some light on this.
click to expand
Also he told me once that I was his secret crush since school.. but never told me..
He used to talk to me more and he developed that feeling for me already when he was in a relationship with that girl.. but he always felt that I m never gonna feel for him..
I don't know whether its bcz of his insecurities or what . He knew that I m never gonna leave him but he had always related our relationship with his past ones.. and just felt that he is not a man who can handle relationships.. so now when he broke up he said that I m not a person who can adjust with anybody.. but honestly this is wrng bc he has always adjusted with my habit of not communicating much . He knew that I will always be with him and wil remain loyal..
Don't know how to tell him that everything will work out if he will not panic by watching few wrong things happening around..
Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraMy intuition says that he loves me but he is pulling himself back because of insecurities about separations...Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraWhat are the chances of them coming back?Posted by rach10Posted by CrabraAnd if you know that she is damn loyal to you... then? Will you leave her.. when you know she will do anything to keep you.. will you? ??
I most definitely would not tell a girl I see a future with her if I really don't. That's more than a lie. That is leading someone on. However, crab indirectness can be attributed to those they reject as well as those they pursue. It is not uncommon for a crab to 'hope' you get the hint. However, telling you he sees a future with you when he really doesn't isn't sugar coating anything. In fact, it lays out the glass shards he's about to drag you through.
A reason I can see myself leaving someone I am actually crazy about would be out of fear that she will abandon me. So instead of dealing with the fear of that (which is overwhelmingly brutal), I'll abandon the relationship before she has a chance to. It only takes one single instance of a new girl exhibiting behavior that hurt me in the past from a previous relationship to trigger this.
I m with this man for 2.5 yrs now.. we wer really gud frnds earlier.. there were times when he retreated into the shell.. and I always tried to put things back together.. it worked really well.. this time I don't know should I just move on or there is a chance that he will come back?
He had a relationship before us started dating.. but she used tortured him lied to him.. and even aftr all that sometimes he used call her and ask her to give it another chance.. (knowing that he didn't any future with her back then) but with me he never did that.. but always talked about our future our kid..
And just few days ago everything was perfct.. and all of sudden he asked me to move on.. ?? and the moment he told me that.. since then he is not returning my text..
Is there any chance that he is upset for some other reason and that's why he ending up?
If I feel like she is going to abandon me? Yes, I will leave her. These feelings are not formulated in the logistic areas of the brain. It is a developed instinct much like a reflex you gain after scalding yourself for the first time. These reflexes serve to protect you. It's the same thing, only emotionally, and gained after getting hurt.
You mentioned that in his previous relationship he put a lot of effort into a toxic person, and this perfectly explains his behavior now. I know it is confounding to think that he put all this effort into this person, but not you who is clearly the better choice. But try not to think of that way. What you're dealing with is a reinforced shell.
All you can do at this point is wait for him to come to you. You can tell him that you would like to work through things, but it will be a futile effort unless he does the same. It's up to you to determine how much this is worth.
And what are the most important things that scares them out?
We wer good friends for a long time later for almost 1.5 year we wer in different cities and shared a good friendship for first few months and then when it turned into relationship (for which he waited for an year) it was perfct for 3 months and then he changed.. and when I came back I observed a different change (always having fun, whenever I tried to connect to him emotionally, he pulled back).. which made me uncomfortable with him at times.. I hardly used to share my emotions with him because of his moodiness... sometimes he wanted to share everything and the other moment he wanted to keep it like "not everything should be shared"... he had always been loyal.. but this weird behavior is like he is trying to maintain distnc
I really can't say what the chances are of them coming back, or coming out of their shell. It could range from very likely to never. It depends on the mind, not the sign.
The most important things that scare them off are whatever emotionally painful experience(s) they have from their past. Again, I cannot accurately conclude what these are as they are different for everyone. What is important is to find out what triggers, and avoid them. This however, requires solid communication from your partner.
You are correct about his behavior though. For whatever reason, he has decided to keep a certain amount of distance between the two of you. This is from a lack of security he feels with you, or he has lost interest. Either way, you are not getting what you need from him. You have to take a step back and ask yourself if this is even worth it.
Once I acted like I don't care about our break up.. he himself came up aftr few days and started putting his efforts (when we wer in a long distance)..
I am just worried that if he is testing me and if by not calling or texting I m failing... or does he really want to move on this time? Muddled... I have observed his behavior.. he acts very cold when hurt or insecure but deep inside he does feel alot.. I don't know if this is the case this time..
Right now what is the this man is expecting me to do?
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I can't say for sure. You know the man better than any stranger on the internet. I can only try to deduce the situation based on the behavior you've mentioned that I am familiar with. What I do know is that communication is important, and a relationship can't function without it. If he's not talking, or is unwilling to, wants to sulk, whatever; then he is not putting forth effort to sustain it.
If you exhausted your efforts trying to get him to open up, then there is nothing else you can or should do. If he was just angry, he would have came around after cooling off. If he's hurt, then who knows. Based off what you've said and your time together, I can say that it is doubtful that he just stopped caring about you.
Would you lie to a girl that you see a future with her, if you really are not into that girl?
Yes absolutely
And if you are telling a girl that you love her deeply, and if everything is going on smoothly, would you leave her for any reason?
Yes, if i lied telling her that to manipulate her.
Yes, if i meant it and only leave for a good reason.
What could be those reasons (if any)? and if you know that she is very loyal to you.
One reason i have left someone that loved (i think loved me lol) me is that i felt they didnt belong with me and that they could do better.
Will you ever go back to her?
I would feel guilty for leaving and i would do whatever it takes to make it up to her..
Yes absolutely
And if you are telling a girl that you love her deeply, and if everything is going on smoothly, would you leave her for any reason?
Yes, if i lied telling her that to manipulate her.
Yes, if i meant it and only leave for a good reason.
What could be those reasons (if any)? and if you know that she is very loyal to you.
One reason i have left someone that loved (i think loved me lol) me is that i felt they didnt belong with me and that they could do better.
Will you ever go back to her?
I would feel guilty for leaving and i would do whatever it takes to make it up to her..
Posted by Cancermanhere89What is the most important thing (for you cancer males) in the long term relationship?
Would you lie to a girl that you see a future with her, if you really are not into that girl?
Yes absolutely
And if you are telling a girl that you love her deeply, and if everything is going on smoothly, would you leave her for any reason?
Yes, if i lied telling her that to manipulate her.
Yes, if i meant it and only leave for a good reason.
What could be those reasons (if any)? and if you know that she is very loyal to you.
One reason i have left someone that loved (i think loved me lol) me is that i felt they didnt belong with me and that they could do better.
Will you ever go back to her?
I would feel guilty for leaving and i would do whatever it takes to make it up to her..
What would be your expectations from ur partner (when in relationship)?
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