@SunMoonStars
12 Years1,000+ Posts
How does one give feedback/criticism to a pre-teen Cancer female?
Start with a compliment.
Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
For godsakes gently... Then offer your corrections...as long as she doesn't think she is in trouble or you are mad at her it should go fine 🙂
Posted by LadyNeptune
Start with a compliment.Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
Absolutely, thank you.
Posted by CandidCancer
We will be offended no matter how you give it. We only see it as someone telling us what to do or someone only seeing the wrong we do. The best way would be probably be to casually fit it into a conversation as a serious joke. If that makes sense. Like sugar coat it I suppose, so that it doesn't seem as bad unless it is something bad. Just be really strict about the bad stuff beat around the bush about not so bad things make it so they feel like they have found the flaw themselves and they will correct it the way they see fit. Unless you have a suggestion make them ask you what can they do to improve it.
Yes, I can definitely see her being offended no matter what. Water signs are intense.
I tried to let her correct herself today, and it seemed to go over better. I'm going to use that from now on.
What if I compliment her in front of her parents? Will that help her self-esteem?
Posted by RCancer
You have to be diplomatic to give feedback/corrections/criticism to cancer people. But sometimes it depends on the gravity of the criticism realy, because some of the evolve cancer people can take direct criticism. So, it all depends.
I will try to give suggestions and compliments. Thank you.
Posted by Cancan26
For godsakes gently... Then offer your corrections...as long as she doesn't think she is in trouble or you are mad at her it should go fine 🙂
Ok, I will make sure she knows I think she's doing fine.
What if I think she is being careless and can do better?
How to convey this?
Thanks!
Posted by LovingSeraphina
At that age ask her parents how they would prefer you to 🙂
Good point. She is 11 y/o. I should ask her mother... except there is a language barrier 🙂
Posted by LovingSeraphina
At that age ask her parents how they would prefer you to 🙂Good point. She is 11 y/o. I should ask her mother... except there is a language barrier 🙂
How do you know them? Are you her teacher?
click to expand
I'm her mentor.
Posted by LovingSeraphina
Relax a bit ...you can't get everything right ..don't expect so much from yourself. It's you being there that counts 🙂
Thank you, muah 🙂
Posted by LadyNeptune
Start with a compliment.Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
This always works with my 11 year old Cancer niece.
Sweet, outspoken, but sensitive to a fault.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Start with a compliment.Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
This would only work with cancers if you give them compliments regularly. I don't think you should mask it, just tell them straight up, I love you, I care about you, here's the issue.
If you compliment them just to mask something, it'll make all things very negative for the, you have to be frank. Cancers are actually a pretty frank and straight forward sign. I've dated a couple, I have a few female cancer friends, sure I'm an Aries so i am frank with them anyways, but i can tell they respect me more for it. They know i love them, that's what counts, because when i need to critique them, which I don't just do to do, I have to have a very serious reason for, I do it very straight up. Otherwise I'll compliment them in goood times when it's there and easy to do.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Start with a compliment.Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
This would only work with cancers if you give them compliments regularly. I don't think you should mask it, just tell them straight up, I love you, I care about you, here's the issue.
If you compliment them just to mask something, it'll make all things very negative for the, you have to be frank. Cancers are actually a pretty frank and straight forward sign. I've dated a couple, I have a few female cancer friends, sure I'm an Aries so i am frank with them anyways, but i can tell they respect me more for it. They know i love them, that's what counts, because when i need to critique them, which I don't just do to do, I have to have a very serious reason for, I do it very straight up. Otherwise I'll compliment them in goood times when it's there and easy to do.
click to expand
I never said to mask it ?♀️
Posted by LadyNeptune
Start with a compliment.Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
This would only work with cancers if you give them compliments regularly. I don't think you should mask it, just tell them straight up, I love you, I care about you, here's the issue.
If you compliment them just to mask something, it'll make all things very negative for the, you have to be frank. Cancers are actually a pretty frank and straight forward sign. I've dated a couple, I have a few female cancer friends, sure I'm an Aries so i am frank with them anyways, but i can tell they respect me more for it. They know i love them, that's what counts, because when i need to critique them, which I don't just do to do, I have to have a very serious reason for, I do it very straight up. Otherwise I'll compliment them in goood times when it's there and easy to do.
I never said to mask it ?♀️
click to expand
You're saying to beat around the bush before going for the painful spot. That's not going to make things better. I mean maybe she's young enough, but in general, if you throw in compliments before and after giving something harsh, the compliments might be taken to be fake, or not very genuine. It'll give all of it a bad taste. You just have to show the, and let them really know you love them, don't think badly of them, aren't trying to hurt them, but need to tell them something important and give them advice or critique.
If you need compliments to do that, your relationship with them isn't very open.
So I'm a double cancer; cancer sun and moon. First off, don't yell. Second, say it gently haha. Tell her you care about her and her wellbeing and that you just want the best for her. Then somewhere in the middle of all of that you can tell her whatever it is you need to say and when you say it start with an "I" statement.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Start with a compliment.Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
This would only work with cancers if you give them compliments regularly. I don't think you should mask it, just tell them straight up, I love you, I care about you, here's the issue.
If you compliment them just to mask something, it'll make all things very negative for the, you have to be frank. Cancers are actually a pretty frank and straight forward sign. I've dated a couple, I have a few female cancer friends, sure I'm an Aries so i am frank with them anyways, but i can tell they respect me more for it. They know i love them, that's what counts, because when i need to critique them, which I don't just do to do, I have to have a very serious reason for, I do it very straight up. Otherwise I'll compliment them in goood times when it's there and easy to do.
I never said to mask it ?♀️
You're saying to beat around the bush before going for the painful spot. That's not going to make things better. I mean maybe she's young enough, but in general, if you throw in compliments before and after giving something harsh, the compliments might be taken to be fake, or not very genuine. It'll give all of it a bad taste. You just have to show the, and let them really know you love them, don't think badly of them, aren't trying to hurt them, but need to tell them something important and give them advice or critique.
If you need compliments to do that, your relationship with them isn't very open.
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Lol where did I say to beat around the bush. I said☝️ to give your critique. Just soften the blow and encourage them by highlighting their strengths as well.
Criticism is easier to take when it comes from an uplifting place.
I do notice that when I make compliments, she doesn't seem to take it to heart because...I think she KNOWS she's careless and slacking.
Perhaps I should try to be encouraging (you can do this, you're better than this etc.), and give her a water-y silent thing/ stare when she is slacking?
Posted by LadyNeptune
Start with a compliment.Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
My favorite teachers were honest but encouraging.
I remember that I reacted positive to things like "This wasn't your best, but I know you can do better."
Posted by LadyNeptune
Start with a compliment.Give critique.
End with a compliment.
This is how I give criticism to my drafters who are both significantly older than me. Not the same senerio per se, but I'm looking for the same result.
I want them to know I value them and am looking to help them improve.
This would only work with cancers if you give them compliments regularly. I don't think you should mask it, just tell them straight up, I love you, I care about you, here's the issue.
If you compliment them just to mask something, it'll make all things very negative for the, you have to be frank. Cancers are actually a pretty frank and straight forward sign. I've dated a couple, I have a few female cancer friends, sure I'm an Aries so i am frank with them anyways, but i can tell they respect me more for it. They know i love them, that's what counts, because when i need to critique them, which I don't just do to do, I have to have a very serious reason for, I do it very straight up. Otherwise I'll compliment them in goood times when it's there and easy to do.
I never said to mask it ?♀️
You're saying to beat around the bush before going for the painful spot. That's not going to make things better. I mean maybe she's young enough, but in general, if you throw in compliments before and after giving something harsh, the compliments might be taken to be fake, or not very genuine. It'll give all of it a bad taste. You just have to show the, and let them really know you love them, don't think badly of them, aren't trying to hurt them, but need to tell them something important and give them advice or critique.
If you need compliments to do that, your relationship with them isn't very open.
Lol where did I say to beat around the bush. I said☝️ to give your critique. Just soften the blow and encourage them by highlighting their strengths as well.
Criticism is easier to take when it comes from an uplifting place.
click to expand
Just because you didn't say doesn't make it not true. You're obviously not going to really read what I'm saying to understand, you're reading to reply with a little attitude. It's cute but it doesn't change the fact that I'm simply saying the negative side to your idea. Just based off of cancers I've known, being straight up is the way to go because it shows them you really do care, instead of kissing up with compliments. Compliments shouldn't be used to water down something negative, it ruins the compliments as well.
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I can sense that cancers are very sensitive.
How can I make sure not to hurt their feelings when giving feedback/corrections?
Thanks!