I prefer responses from Cancer men. Cancer women can be helpful too. thanks

Im hoping this forum is filled with professional astrologers that can shed some light on this Cancer + Cancer thing Ive gotten myself into. Im a cancer woman dating cancer male. Known him for over 7 months. We are sort of at a rocky point in our relationship/friendship now (I don't even know what the hell we are). Long story short, he doesn't have a job, not that he's lazy, he's just finishing grad school so he's finding his place. He has a JD & MBA. He's capable, he's just finding his place as I said before. Any who, I wrote him this letter and emailed it to him. He didn't say anything about it. I did write in the letter "Im not looking for a certain reaction or response from you, I just want to tell you whats on my heart" It wasn't too lovey dovey, just more so how he influenced me in positive ways and that I like him.

He is really hot and cold. And it is pissing me the fuuuuck off. Im a cancer so i know all about the shell story. I bought this guy a tie for christmas. I didn't get anything. We were at that awkward phase where you kinda dont know if its too soon to get them something and if you do get something should it be very expensive... you get the drift. I wasn't really planning to get him crap either, it just kinda was one of those things where I wanted to see how he would respond to getting something so soon. (He took a pic wearing it and sent it to me)

So, the pic thing was kinda my confirmation to go further. Thats when I wrote the letter. He got it bc I said something to him about going days w/o calling and his response was "is this bc I didn't say anything about the letter".....Moving on along....

We are long distance right now but before we lived ten minutes away from another. We loved to watch movies together, go to the bar and watch games, I met a couple of his friends, he shared stories with me about his mom (plus right?) But..

He always seem to detach away from me, and I am sick of his butter. Well I text him and said "Why are you cold towards me, I feel ignored which makes me want to disappear on you" and he responds

MY PHONE BROKE

How the hell is your phone broke but you replied! I am over his butter. Or maybe he replied via lap top. IDK, he has been complaining about his phone acting weird, he actually had to get it repaired so maybe his story holds validity. Either way, him not being fully open with me only causes me to think he is full of craap or isn't feeling me....

What does this mean for me?

Ppl sabotage others when they don't like them, but I should trust him? Odd.

I have 0 knowledge of what our "moons" are or what "moons" mean. We are both cancers Jul 8 (him) and 6(me). what else would be helpful? Also, are you a male or woman? I couldn't tell from your pic. I'd guess woman from the name but I could be wrong.

OP, I am pretty sure there are no (or VERY few) professional astrologers on this site, but there are a lot who enjoy it as fun or hobby.
You both being afraid of being hurt, rejected or attacked by the other is what is causing a lot of defensive behavior which then leads the other to escalate (or spiral) to make something very little into something much bigger. Nip it in the bud is possible, but it will take effort and recognition from both of you to do so

How far is the distance? How old are you? He could be telling the truth about the phone yet he's still hot and cold.


You two need to meet up. We are opposite of absence makes the heart grow fonder. We're more like out of sight out of mind. The connection is fading.

I didn't lie, I like him so I needed to see if he would respond positive to my gesture so I could keep going further with him. It wasn't done maliciously. I wrote the letter so I could get everything out the right way. If I would've said it to his face, I would've died. I guess I was being a punk. Dammit!

I did find out his moon is sag and mine is leo.

Oh sorry I didn't mean to promote any of you guys as astrologers! Well, thanks for the insight. Doesn't seem like he's gonna do any flipping thing about it. Im always expressing myself. I feel like the man now.

Im 26 he's 28. Its fading for sure. Pretty boring. My friend suggested I surprise him. Im like are you crazy?!!! I would be soon happy if he surprised me but I don't think he'd feel the same. Think he may be turned off from his recent behavior.

He's in another state.

8 hrs

Let's wait for a guy's response. With the dismissal of the letter you wrote it doesn't look good.

Posted by kissmygrits
Let's wait for a guy's response. With the dismissal of the letter you wrote it doesn't look good.

!!

Oh LOL! My bad! Ok there you go. Cut your losses.

Posted by rabidtalker

Posted by kissmygrits
Let's wait for a guy's response. With the dismissal of the letter you wrote it doesn't look good.

!!

click to expand

Are you agreeing with Kissmygrits to wait for a guys response or are you agreeing that the letter scared him off?

I'm about to cut it with this dude. Like who the hell does he think he is. Even after receiving the letter he still tells me he misses me and can't wait to see me blah blah blah.....Then I tried to cut off whatever it is that we had bc I didn't like that he was going a few days w/o calling and he responds "I'm not gonna let you break up with me" sooooooo what the hell. Seems like he doesn't know what he wants and my efforts of being open emotionally doesn't seem to be helping either.

he was a great guy just not consistent & bold enough for me. I just want to pull his face in and yell "what the hell are you feeling?" lol.

Def did that already. His response...

"It's not you, I'm just not a phone person. If you miss me just say it, you don't have to try to break up with me (one of his EGO trips I suppose) I'm trying to get this job and Im hoping things go well for me."


Well I'm here for the guy, showed him through my actions. Not much I can do with him being 8 hrs away but I damn sure try. He acts like he's the only one with issues. Freaking annoying. Then I told him if I'm a hindrance and if he can't be there like I need him to be then don't you think its realistic we call quits. Oh no, he says "I'm not going to let you break up with me" You see this behavior pattern. Im sick of it. He shows interest then scurries away for a while. Completely childish if you ask me. I will not call or message him. Im done trying and initiating.

Posted by jessie26

Posted by rabidtalker

Posted by kissmygrits
Let's wait for a guy's response. With the dismissal of the letter you wrote it doesn't look good.

!!

Are you agreeing with Kissmygrits to wait for a guys response or are you agreeing that the letter scared him off?

click to expand

I overlooked that a guy responded.

You should call him and set up a time to meet. You go to him or he goes to you. If he doesn't want to bother then you know what to do.

Posted by jessie26
Def did that already. His response...

"It's not you, I'm just not a phone person. If you miss me just say it, you don't have to try to break up with me (one of his EGO trips I suppose) I'm trying to get this job and Im hoping things go well for me."


Well I'm here for the guy, showed him through my actions. Not much I can do with him being 8 hrs away but I damn sure try. He acts like he's the only one with issues. Freaking annoying. Then I told him if I'm a hindrance and if he can't be there like I need him to be then don't you think its realistic we call quits. Oh no, he says "I'm not going to let you break up with me" You see this behavior pattern. Im sick of it. He shows interest then scurries away for a while. Completely childish if you ask me. I will not call or message him. Im done trying and initiating.

Your done? He's not worth any further effort from you?

Isn't he there trying to find a job? He must be stressed and lonely.

If he's not a phone person you all should try skype. Or something where your talking as 'face to face' as possible. You'll need to agree to specific times you both are free.

Without communication this is bound to fail.

The same cancer type is messing up everything with decent girls.
Leave him. I had THE SAME story you're having. I told him what i think I deserve and let him be. He ignored my wishes, was just egotistical. Then I rold I move on. The tried to pursue him but then I told I'm not emotionally there. He's gone now. And I'm relieved feeling no crap in my life anymore
If you're constantly asking id there can be a second/ third chance - the answer is already obvious in your head - NO. Otherwise you wouldn't ask the same question again and again.

@sensitiveblus @ladyneptune @kissmygrits ok ok ok Ive heard you 3 out, I was going to call quits. I will contact him & initiate to come physically see him. (My pride is so strong since Ive sent that dang letter) If the answer is no, I will walk away. I can't try anymore after that.

@sensitiveblues I like your comments! Really blunt & snarky.


@finbuff WoW!!! Just Wow!! This sheds so much light on the issue. Perhaps the job thing is creating drama for him & Im being no help by whining about a phone call. Plus Ive created these illusions that he's screwing someone. Thanks for your help & the dates were correct. Yay for simple math!

Oh yeah @sensitiveblues you really think Im being dramatic? emotional? Hmmm I thought I was pretty normal. lol

My suggestion is so that you can say that you tried your best to make it work.

I contacted him and although I did not get around to asking him if I could come see him, we did have a in depth conversation about how he's feeling. I loved that! It makes me feel like I can give more of myself. There's so much I want to give him if he would just give me full access.

So next contact I'll ask to see him. I think this conversation was meant to repair our feelings for each other. Slow baby steps with this guy.