My Recent Breakup With My Cancer Girl

Hello everyone. I am single now after a relationship that lasted just short of 2 and a half years.
My ex ended it, but it was in such a typical Cancer way that when i read what i have online it was like someone watched it all happen!

Her reasons for splitting up were that she wasn't happy anymore, we're too alike and don't push each other, there's no 'go getter' or 'leader' in the relationship. She thrives on other people's happiness and with me being what i think is a typical Scorpio i don't appear to be enjoying myself. So with me being like this, and her being the 'mirror' of emotion it made her unhappy. We didn't enjoy ourselves when we went to the pub anymore, it got boring and she just shut down. She stopped being affectionate, she was deliberately moody and she was looking for an argument with me. This went on for about 2-3 months before she finally ended things. She wants to enjoy the fruits of life and so do i! but i'm just so cautious and sensible that i think about doing things so much, that i end up doing nothing!
I stood by her because i love her and i was waiting for her to talk to me about it, but she never did. I found out that she was upset that i didn't ask her what the problem was, she saw it as me not being in tune with her, and just being willing to carry on with things the way they were.

My immediate thoughts on the matter and what she said to me were that we don't communicate enough. We need to establish what the other person wants, feels and needs much more often. I am definately not open enough, but this is just the way i am, terrified of rejection, humiliation and loss. I'm also not very good with words and expressing myself which is just so typical with someone so passionate, loving and emotional as me! (Also, it might be worth noting that my difficulty with words, may not make for the best reading!)
And basically that were too self conscious, we need to relax some more, but this is when i would look for her and the reassurance i need in order to open up more. I have a bit of a fear of nightclubs, and dance venued which comes back from childhood. I feel uneasy when i'm there and as you can guess, it rubbed off on her.
On the other hand, she also has a childhood issue which affects her day to day life and makes her unconfident and very sensetive to comments, looks and being judged.

I have done some things sine the split, but i am running out of characters to type. I'll tell you more, if you want to hear?

Two points in your post that I can relate to stood out for me.

First, that she was the "mirror" to your emotions. My cancer bf and I both easily pick up on other people's emotions - and then they become our emotion. Fortunately, I'm generally a positive person so hopefully he's picking up my positive energy more often than I pick up on his negative one.

Secondly, that you're not open enough. Neither am I. I am very emotional and feeling and thinking - but so afraid of making myself too vulnerable so I usually keep quiet. It's something I'm really working on in my relationship.

I'm sorry things ended for you. How are you coping? What have you been doing? Are you hoping to work things out with her? I'm happy to hear more of your story if you're willing to share it.

Thanks Paries. 🙂
Yeah, i only find the 'mirror' thing more endearing though. It is frustrating because someone can effectively make her sad or spoil her night out by venting to her, but at the end of the day she was my girl and i loved her for it.
I thrive off of love and when she was loving, intimate and reassuring towards me, i felt amazing. She hadn't been giving me any of this and so, i became more negative, unconfident, reserved and dismissive.

I really want to open up! I am so willing to try and i'll put everything into it, but i need the chance to do so and if she's not wanting us to try again, then there's nothing i can do. She needs to want me in order for me to feel comfortable, i can't talk her round or persuade her. It has to come from the heart.

Thanks. 🙂 I am doing just that 'coping' i have good days and bad days, today is a bad day so far. I miss her like mad and i just want to hold her and kiss her. When i'm good, im good and when i'm bad i'm bad. In a nutshell!

Because i'm bad with words i made her a little mix cd, with some songs that say a lot that i can't seem to most of the time. I also wrote her a letter, 3 weeks after we split. I just said everything i wanted to. I wrote about me, her and us. I feel it was very good. I ended it by saying "I still have feelings of love, care and admiration for you, your my favourite person and your always a woman to me" Take care, love me.
(I'm leaving names out, but if she see's this post, she'll know who i am! lol)

We don't talk anymore, not in a nasty way but how do you get over someobe if you still talk to them? Yeah i miss her like mad, she's my best friend but like i said, we need to have space and move on.
I just really want to try again, but it has to be the right time and what we both want.

I hate the feeling like i am getting over her, i want her to know that i'm not freezing her out.
I did notice that she has blocked me from seeing her friend list on the dreaded facebook! That thing is a curse sometimes!
That only aroused suspicion for me, any thoughts?

MoonBunny - I do have ambitions, but I'm plagued with being a 'scanner' it would be a huge post if I went into detail, but if your interested then look up a book called 'refuse to choose'
My ex wanted to help me on this front, but yes it did annoy her.
I want to be the best person I can be, as successful as I can, as happy, as loving. The list goes on.
I am possibly the most determined person I know, if that makes sense? When I want something I simply do not stop until I get it, my trouble is that I don't know what I want yet.

DeadRingerr - I'm not so sure on that one, but I have limited experience.

Oh yeah she did try to warn me, but it was also her trying to get me to confront her, which I didn't do. I held on to the hope that she would talk to me...which she eventually did.
I respect her hugely and yes it is typical Scorpio but the taking for granted isn't done in a selfish way, it's done because we can finally relax because we have found someone who understands us.
That relief is immense.

I fully accept her decision and at the end of the day I only want her happines, so if she doesn't want to be with me then I will have to go on without her.
I've read that Cancers don't go back and that's fair enough, but with each mistake a lesson is learned.

Wow! What's with the bias toward the Cancer here? Not ALL Scorpio men think there James
Dean!

Posted by MrScorp

I fully accept her decision and at the end of the day I only want her happines, so if she doesn't want to be with me then I will have to go on without her.
I've read that Cancers don't go back and that's fair enough, but with each mistake a lesson is learned.

That right there is going to be your kiss of death ^^^^

What the fook, dude. You want her? Then go after her. MAKE the changes YOU see you need to make in the relationship, and in and within yourself. SHOW her you love her. TELL her you love her.

She is no different than you. You want to see and feel you are loved, so does she. If she doesnt see or feel you love her or progressing that love, she's going to feel you don't love her and will go away.

She's waiting for you to make the fight of your life. If you love her, you will.

It is way too hard to shake the Scorp/Cancer thing. Believe me, she's dying inside. BUT you have to own up to the fact that you helped kill this all, and DO something about it.

You BOTH are waiting for the same thing. Do you get that?!!! You both are waiting for someone to make the next move. Your words mean nothing if you don't follow them up by action.

So then you tell her you love her and to take care? Um, can you say one more nail in the coffin?

For the love of Baby Jesus. Get out of your mind, and get into hers. *smh*

Again, what the fook dude *sighs* ........................

And finally, (((HUGS))) I'm sure you can use one 🙂

DeadRingerr!! *waves* 🙂

How've ya been?! 🙂 Where the heck HAVE ya been btw?! lol Annnnnnnddddd Is that you in your avi?! 🙂


Sorry MrScorp lol

You my dear are BEAUTIFUL! 😄 Seriously!

Yey!!! So excited for you! How, when, and where?? Cancer men can be so dreamy ... I dated one for 4.5 years, it was hell but heaven at times. He'll spoil you rotten 🙂

Posted by DeadRingerr
Wow! I just viewed you're chart....I am Gemini with Cancer rising, you are a Cancer with Gemini rising, I have Cancer in Venus and you have Venus in Gemini, interesting....

Really?! That is interesting and pretty cool! lol! Hmmmmmm, I'm a complete novice to this stuff, but does that mean you are my soul sister?! 😛 Sista from anotha Mista?? Talk to me lol

Posted by DeadRingerr

Posted by OceanDeep
You my dear are BEAUTIFUL! 😄 Seriously!

Yey!!! So excited for you! How, when, and where?? Cancer men can be so dreamy ... I dated one for 4.5 years, it was hell but heaven at times. He'll spoil you rotten 🙂

Old friend form back in the day...we found each other on FB...he is what I have been looking for all my life, loyal, honest, funny, adorable, giving in every way!! I want to kiss him all day, we say I love you all the time. Cancers, love, love!! Someone did a test once on here and said I should hook up with a Cancer, now I see why! He has Cancer in Sun,Moon and Mercury!!

click to expand

How cool is that?! 🙂

He is Cancer all the way too! Well, I personally think you are a dolly, smart, and funny and feisty enough to keep him on his toes, and I'm sure he loves every bit of you! 🙂

Yey for being in love!!!! *hopeless romantic, sighs*

OceanDeep, I have heard good things about you. You can thank a certain CaringCancer for that! 🙂
Yes, I ME ME ME could do with a hug. Thankyou. 🙂 DeadRingerr that was very much tongue in cheek. :p
I'm not saying i'm not self centred, maybe i am sometimes and it's actually good to hear some bluntness.

Yes Ocean, i do want her. She's an angel, I cant explain how much i love her and how much feeling there is inside me for her. When she told me what she did and broke up with me, it was such a powerful experience and one that i instantly agreed with, it felt like the best thing i could do was to accept it and respect her wishes. Of course i was upset, very upset it hit me like a truck, but i saw how much it took out of her to say it too. The last thing she wanted was for me to hang around, i respect her so much that i just had to go, i had to give her what she wanted. I fully accept that I had a huge part to play in our relationship coming to this, I know what i have done wrong and i am very annoyed it happened, but equally as willing to try again, and put things right!
There's no denying the fact that we click though, yes at times it has it's ups and down's but on the whole we are very good together.

I actually wrote down my thoughts on us breaking up 4 days after it happened. Here's what i wrote;
"We've changed each other, we need to relax more and stop being so serious. We need to be more comfortable together and not feel self conscious.
Feeling unhappy and not talking about it, is damaging and were not open enough with each other, we need to establish what each other wants, needs and feels.

I will make the fight for my life. Without doubt i want her, i see so much in her compared to anyone else, but i just feel that she doesn't want me anymore, but there's only one way to find out!
Maybe the first move has to come from me now. She has told me how she feels and doing that was VERY hard for her, she was extremely upset. At the very least i can do that!

Wow...When i started typing that, there were 10 less messages on this post!
I almost feel like apologising for posting now!
Never the less, it was an interesting read. 🙂

As a Cancer that once had a long term realtionship with a Scropio that ended some wht similar to what you are curently expericing .....If you want her back it is going to take a grand ezpressiom of your love to her and the funny thing is that is the most diffcult thing to ask you to do...In turn it is going to take her to open the secret world that after all this time she has not allowed you into. But if you love her that deeply step back drop your defense and guy leader her back into the realtionship ahich you can because that is what both of you need .....Because ending your realtionship is going to kill parts of both of you that neither one of you maybe able to recover from .'Good Luck with that and God Bless both of you ...'

As a Cancer that once had a long term realtionship with a Scropio that ended some wht similar to what you are curently expericing .....If you want her back it is going to take a grand ezpressiom of your love to her and the funny thing is that is the most diffcult thing to ask you to do...In turn it is going to take her to open the secret world that after all this time she has not allowed you into. But if you love her that deeply step back drop your defense and guy leader her back into the realtionship ahich you can because that is what both of you need .....Because ending your realtionship is going to kill parts of both of you that neither one of you maybe able to recover from .'Good Luck with that and God Bless both of you ...'

Haha! I laugh though gritted teeth DR! I tip thy cap to you! lol

I'm trying to compose a text now, but i have to admit my heart is pounding! I need to get this right. I know she will appriciate it even if it doesn't come accross how i would have liked, but this is quite a vital time now.

If we do try again, I need her to know that we just have to communicate! I admit that I am always thinking about things and not especially her, i just can't stop my mind from going everywhere. I had lost my touch with her and can only blame myself, i would retreat back to hers in the evening and find myself just happy to be with her and not talk or say much because the day was done and i was with my girl now.
I am quite disgusted with that, poor girl is the thing that springs to mind. I dispise myself for doing that, i didnt even tell her i was thinking that! Nothing!
This wasn't all the time, but it contributed.
So communication on MY behalf is pivital, i know i can tell her everything and anything and it is hard to do this, but relationships require effort and if i wasn't putting my fair share in, then what a surprise eh!

Thanks for that MentyCancer. I need to take a leap of faith yes, but she needs to know the REAL ME! This could be a life long lesson if i really put everything on the line.

Message has been sent!

Thanks DR. They do fade, and although people say "I know she loves me" and "I know he loves me" If you don't hear those words it definately has an affect.
We are texting now, but it's a bit like treading water at the moment. Just asking how she is, her family and her uni course.

Yep. 🙂 Inside i am dying to just tell her how much i love her, miss her and want to see her, but i think it's far too early for me to do that. I feel like it's going well so far, but the last thing i want to do is get confident too early and blow it! She know's i care, she has to! It doesn't help me wanting to say so though!
I'm trying to remain in control. 🙂

Posted by MentyCancer
...In turn it is going to take her to open the secret world that after all this time she has not allowed you into.

....Because ending your realtionship is going to kill parts of both of you that neither one of you maybe able to recover from ....'

That secret world is hard to access... but what a place to be!

The effects of my ex. Scorpio still linger... Open up MrScorp and you won't regret it. Good luck 🙂

I really want to be in her secret world and i really want her to be in mine, but do you think the fear of letting someone in takes over?

Thanks. 🙂 Do you think if i truly open up and put all of my thoughts and feelings out there for her to see that she might come round?
She has to want this though, i can't be with someone who i 'persuade' to be with me.

I am a Cancer that dated 3 Scorps and was engaged to one. The same thing would happen everytime --> I'd get bored and uninterested. The strong silent, figure me out thing that Scorps have works in the begining but after we figure out that it is nothing really interesting to figure out but a bunk of shyness and inability to show emotions (and we thrive on emotional expression) we want to leave and go somewhere where we can FEEL something, ANYTHING again. It is not about you. It is her cancer head. I adore scorps but they just can't hold my attention more than 1.5-2.5 years. She needs to coem to understand that her search for this emotional high is not healthy and destroys good relationships. There is nothing you can do. If you play certain games with her, she will come back, but she will probably end up leaving again. Don't take it personal. She seems to be an emotional high junkie and you are not giving her the fix she needs.

Oh yeah. I forgot to mention. i broke up with a scorp man that i loved very much just to get him to express himself. Now that i know scorps i would not do that because it usually doesn't work to well (they just don't know how and resent the break up) and they still get boring again.

Your experience cancerlovestaurus is polar opposite of mine with Scorps. They intrigue me, and never a dull moment. And I love how I can sit there, we not say a word, but know that a thousand things are being said and felt.

cancerlovestaurus. I think that's a very accurate description from what i have came to learn about Cancers.
I know that Cancer's can get bored, i did feel some pressure to keep it interesting, keep it fresh and suggest things to do, places to visit. She is a huge contradiction though, and it tested my patience, i would suggest 2-3 things and she would usually reject all of them.

My biggest worry about us potentially giving it another go is that we will end up going down the same road? That's the last thing i want, and surely we will just experience the pain all over again?

Are there any Cancer/Scorpio couples that are still together and can relate?

OceanDeep! I feel that too. I loved this side of our relationship! Clearly i posted my last message before seeing your response. sorry.
But yeah this was truly magical and i can only think that most other girls would be freaked out by this. It just draws me closer to her. It really is a lovely side to the relationship.

As for the messaging, we talked about what were up to now, how each other's family's are, and her uni course.
Started well, hit a bit of a low part in the middle, but ended nicely. 🙂
I'm just very up in the air now, after a period of no contact, now this!
I can say that i will be posting on here for some time though, your help so far people has been really appriciated. 🙂

Posted by OceanDeep
Your experience cancerlovestaurus is polar opposite of mine with Scorps. They intrigue me, and never a dull moment. And I love how I can sit there, we not say a word, but know that a thousand things are being said and felt.

Yes. I feel the exact same way in the begining...but it gets lame to me. I tend to want to wander. I have a moon in Leo and seek more excitement than that. I am a very faithful woman, but I tend to want to cheat on Scorps only. It is always on my mind to wander off and not come back.

It is best to be expressive with her. She won't hurt you. Scorps have something about them that cancer's are drawn to. STRONGLY drawn to...but if you kids too much for too long some of us wonder if you are missing something somewhere else. Do not be shy. Be expressive. Be dominate. Make demands! She will be turned on. At least i think so.

*hide and not kids

I know that her rising sign is Leo, unsure of her Moon sign, my moon is Libra.
How much emphasis do you guys put on Moon signs? I've read that they are the basis of the emotional bond?

Posted by MrScorp
OceanDeep! I feel that too. I loved this side of our relationship! Clearly i posted my last message before seeing your response. sorry.
But yeah this was truly magical and i can only think that most other girls would be freaked out by this. It just draws me closer to her. It really is a lovely side to the relationship.

As for the messaging, we talked about what were up to now, how each other's family's are, and her uni course.
Started well, hit a bit of a low part in the middle, but ended nicely. 🙂
I'm just very up in the air now, after a period of no contact, now this!
I can say that i will be posting on here for some time though, your help so far people has been really appriciated. 🙂

I hope things work out, the dynamics of Scorp and Cancers is wonderful I think. Keeps me on my toes, I guess the one Scorp always has and did .. his venus and mars are in Sag, my Moon is Sag so maybe that's where it goes. His Moon is Scorpio, so he's always brooding and I find it like piecing a puzzle together in what goes on in his head. He's told me more than once I'm one of the very few that gets him let alone likes him 🙂 haha Most days I want to strangle him, but he's too dang cute lol

Stay strong. Just remember, don't change the core of who you are. Unless it's something YOU want.

Thank you Ocean, very nice words. 🙂
How certain are you that she does want me to fight for her? I feel i need to tell you a little more to help you judge the situation, i am very easily led though, so i do have some serious thinking to do. Thanks for your help so far, you do really know your stuff! I'd read through CaringCancer's thread on her Scorpio man and i was just nodding in agreement with everything you wrote. It was quite scary in a way! 🙂

Basically yes, she said were too alike and don't push one another to do great things, or even things in general sometimes. I am very positive and offer a lot of support and encouragement to her university work, i love that she is putting effort in, it made and does still make me so proud of her and i was proud to be with her.
The uni work was one thing though, and with my career going nowhere so far (it hasn't even started yet!) it frustrated her and was a contributing factor in the downfall of the relationship. Basically, i have no idea what i want to do and feel very lost. I am trying to sort the problem it's plagued me since i was 16 and was asked the 'what do you want to do' question. At 24 i am none the wiser! She has offered her help if i choose to study a subject and i actually felt like crying when she told me that, just out of sheer love and affection, but i do need her to be patient with me on this and dont want her to feel like i have shunned her support by not studying.

She also said that there's an awkwardness when we go out, we're both self conscious in public places, she is more so than i am but she also feels it when i seem to turn into a 'security guard' this is me being protective and watchfull of people and i can't say that i can change that. Because of this though, i'm not always the best company, i know this and i hate it, but it is just the way i am. Being protective is something i don't need to do though, when i have been, it's brought me nothing but moodyness! It really is frustrating! I hate the fact that i affect and spoil her nights out by being this way. I did try very hard to explain myself in the letter i wrote to her. I felt i was very expressive.

She had shut down on me for 2+ months. She was deliberately moody, wanted me to start arguments, stopped wanting to go out and stopped giving me affection. When she did eventually decide she wanted to end it, she said that she feels like nothing is going to change! That is the key part right there i think! Any thoughts?

😢 Aw, it hurts me to read this!

I would imagine this does kill her. I know you get what she is saying, and you probably feel at a loss of not knowing what to do, or how about getting it all back again. But you're right, you need to really think about things and if it's something you do want back. At least there will need to be changes that have to be made, and are they reasonable changes or do you want the freedom of having this time to really see what you want and who you are without her.

Ive done the pull away, like she did. Everything that you said she did, Ive done myself. For me, I know I wasnt happy. I felt trapped. That isnt saying that against you, but inside...like a caged cat. Need freedom to roam and expand myself.

When you two talked, I would imagine you talked about when you two would go out? What did she say? Was there ever a compromise talked about? That would be hard on you Im sure, and yes, Scorps are very protective so its not something that you can change about yourself and if so at the very least not easily. It's your core of who you are really.

What areas do you feel she stifled you, and your relationship? I would imagine it hurt you a lot when she did the 2 months of shutting down, it is passive aggressive and not fair. I dont know why we do it, but I know I've ruined more than one relationship by completely pushing people to the brink of it ending by picking fights, etc. and being a bugger.

If you want to win her back, you can. You will have to play some games but they will work. Inbox me if you want to know what to do.

I dont know if I agree with that. He already said he wants her to want him back. Theres ways to go about it, but if it means somehow a trickery it will be based on falsehood and it will fall apart. I dont know that he would feel good about it either, the guilt of knowing it was based on playing games. Assuming thats what you meant, and given you dont want to talk about it on public forum, theres a reason youre not wanting to say for the world to see, so I would take them as not strategies, but games 🙂

Sorry to be hurting you! 😢 I am thankfull for the help though! 🙂

Absolutely with the changes, we both need to establish exactly what went wrong and work on it with a great level of trust and maturity. She is stubborn though, and i feel that she is 'ahead' of me emotionally as she shut down for months before telling me. It's like she was preparing herself, which i don't feel angry about, just upset that she didn't talk to me.
The thing with the time apart is that it is exactly what we both need after she dropped that bombshell, we need to go away, get our heads straight and think about what we really want and decide individually if it is achieveable and if we are willing to make it work. However...She said She doesn't think things will change, so maybe she has done all of that already and came to this conclusion?

Having the time to 'find myself' again, would come to the same outcome. Before i met her my view on women was very 'dark' I had sat back for a long time REALLY wanting a relationship, i saw no one i liked. Girls i thought i liked, would then go and do something to totally put me off. I started to see myself accepting that any girl i like is going to have a thousand things i don't like about her. After talking to an old friend i basically 'stopped looking' Then my Cancer girl comes along and completely sweeps me off my feet! In a word it was heavenly!
I am inexperienced in relationships yes, but i feel like i have been around a lifetime and i can predict what will happen if i start seeing this girl, that girl and the one i seem to 'force myself' to like. My Cancer girl (I still call her mine!) is an absolute breath of fresh air!

She felt exactly the same...A caged cat. I resent myself for doing that to her, i just want to know what i have to stop doing in that instance. The saying "The more rope you give a calf, the less likely they are to roam" springs to mind, so perhaps i spent too much time with her. I could feel her being influenced by me with my moods, but is this something i can control? Sometimes i feel like she is going to be that one person that I dearly love but can never be with. Everyone seems to have one.

I have ran out of characters! bare with me! 🙂

Yeah, i don't want to 'win' her back she is her own woman and she has to want me for me to even think about trying again it seems.
I've only read this once about Scorpio's but everything has to be 'right' if there's a slight whiff of injustice or wrong doing it just will not do. When my ex told me she was unhappy I had to leave, i knew i just needed to go because i was making her unhappy. I am not selfish on this side of things and i will completely remove myself from the situation for the greater good, or a loved ones happiness. Self sacrifice is something i'm not afraid of, but not wanting to sound like a 'proud Scorpio who has read all there is to read on his sign' i will stop. lol

Earlier post continued...

I felt unable to give affection sometimes and this is where she stifled me and also the relationship. She would get embarressed if i acted goofy or messed around when we were out, and seeing her like that immediately made me stop doing it. I found myself living for her and always thinking about her, i didn't persue any interests and only concentrated on her. Again...is this just me?
I felt shy to be myself and i became dismissive and moody more frequently. I seemed to not give my opinion anymore and just 'go with the flow' this was me trying to act 'manly' because she mentioned once that she liked 'manly men' so i stopped showing the raw emotion i feel. I remember EVERYTHING that's been said and so does she. I once told her that she was my angel for saving me from the dispair of not being in a relationship and having a 'dark' view on every woman i saw. Only to then tell her 'she didn't really 'save' me, she just helped me' I said this because i was trying to 'act manly' but it simply isn't true! She did save me! That destroys me to type that, it really does I could see it written all over her face that she was hurt by that. I regret it so much. I want her to know how much she means to me, but words always fail me, i know what i want to say but i can't express it properly!

It did hurt me when she shut down, i felt lost and in some ways a little betrayed because i only tried to make her happy and she wasn't being herself. I done things i KNEW would make her smile and she just wouldn't. Maybe the inner feeling prevented a smile?

Scorpio/ Cancer is a hard match to shake. Their is electricity between the two, a very thick tension some sexual some emotional. Feelings are very intense. Tell her what you told us, express how you feel verbally, and physically. I'm sure she's dying to have what you two had back. The main challenge I see here is the communication barrier. Both signs can keep things to themselves, and hide feelings, and can just be hard to read in general. As a Cancer I don't like too much secretiveness when it comes to Scorpio, but for the most part it's a wonderful match. Cancer can give security like no other and a fierce loyalty. I hope it works out for you.

Posted by OceanDeep
I dont know if I agree with that. He already said he wants her to want him back. Theres ways to go about it, but if it means somehow a trickery it will be based on falsehood and it will fall apart. I dont know that he would feel good about it either, the guilt of knowing it was based on playing games. Assuming thats what you meant, and given you dont want to talk about it on public forum, theres a reason youre not wanting to say for the world to see, so I would take them as not strategies, but games 🙂

Yep. I called them games and meant just that. It is an option. Not a + one but nevertheless it is an option. I agree with you 1000% btw

Reading your last post MrScorp...I think you need to work on yourself a little. I know this may not be what you want to hear but it seems as if you might need to build self confidence and find out who you really are and become comfortable with that. Focus on yourself. If you do that, a lot of answers and understand would perhaps come your way. You might end up finding out that you do not want her afterwards.

cancerlovestaurus, I agree with you here and time is a very good healer I stand by that totally. Maybe I can become the person she initially fell in love with again and stick to my guns this time. I've lost her once, so maybe now I am wiser for it?

One feeling that stirs away deep in my gut though, is that she wants me to lead and if
I'm being totally honest with myself, I don't think I can deliver what she wants here.
She is 6 years older than me, maybe that has an affect on me? Not feeling experienced enough for her wants and needs.
I've been reading into my moon sign, it's libra and if anything they are the most indecisive of all!

Sorry to double post, but i need to aknowledge this reply...

Posted by prettyladii
Scorpio/ Cancer is a hard match to shake. Their is electricity between the two, a very thick tension some sexual some emotional. Feelings are very intense. Tell her what you told us, express how you feel verbally, and physically. I'm sure she's dying to have what you two had back. The main challenge I see here is the communication barrier. Both signs can keep things to themselves, and hide feelings, and can just be hard to read in general. As a Cancer I don't like too much secretiveness when it comes to Scorpio, but for the most part it's a wonderful match. Cancer can give security like no other and a fierce loyalty. I hope it works out for you.

Yes there certainly is electricity! Sexually there is some holding back on both sides, probably mainly mine and i think she can tell and obviously then mirror's it and does the same. I am very shy in this particular area, i have nothing to be shy about though! (your all thinking 'yeah right!' lol) I really don't, not saying that i'm James Dean or anything though! I don't express myself here and it's something i need to work on. Would a Cancer woman be the right choice for this, or would she most likely prefer someone who is confident and took the lead?

The feelings are intense and it's nice to be in a relationship with someone who is also very sensetive. I never had any of the outburts of something even remotely negative, which would have stuck with me. I feel if i was with a sign with a different element and something hurt and stuck with me...if i were to bring this up in the future, i would get told to 'stop being so soft' and 'man up' I can't guarantee this, but it's how i feel and why it takes me so long to commit.
In order for me to be 'the best i can be' i feel that i need genuine love and i did have this from her, but i didn't make the most of it. I didn't open up, i was afraid to tell her things, through fear of being judged, laughed at or basically being hurt. It's nothing against her at all, it's just the way i am, could it be possible that she has to end the relationship for me to realise this and change? Obviously i can't put myself in the relationship again to test myself, but if i tell myself that i will loose her if i don't loosen up and show some raw feelings, thoughts and emotion.
I just don't know!

Hi! My home computer is being repaired so I havent had access for a few days, fingers crossed it's fixable 🙂

MrScorp, reading through your last comments I feel too you need to concentrate on yourself. I know you love her and want her back, but do you realize that youve lost yourself along the way? You need to find yourself again, become the person that you were before you met her! Youve changed yourself completely to fit and comply with what she wanted, what made her comfortable, what she liked. Who are you right now? I dont know that you are even comfortable in your own skin 😢

My take? Take this time for yourself. You can love her, and you can still communicate BUT if you go back to her right now, I can only imagine you will lose yourself more. Find your power, love who you were and are, make changes that you feel will better yourself, and do it for yourself. And if she loves you too, she will be making changes for herself. This relationship just isnt about her, it's about your needs, desires, life, and future too.

Hello again Ocean! I wandered where you'd got to. Nice to hear from you again. 🙂

Yes, yes and yes! You are bang on the money there.
How do you know this?!
In the letter, I said that "I tried too hard because I knew I had something special in you" this is very true! Too hard meaning that yes, I lost myself and i'm not comfortable in my own skin.
Forgotten who I am/lost my identity. These are the words I would describe myself. This actually came up once before and I was quite upset about it, she instantly seemed needy and clung to me.

For now, I still love her like mad, miss her and just want to look after/protect her. I know i can't do this now, the time isn't right as you have said.
You are spot on there and if we tried again soon it just wouldn't work and we would damage the potential we could have if we both go our seperated ways now.

How can I be distant but still friendly now? We have text each other as you know and it's 'cool' but I feel this is a very strange time and being 'friends' is something I can't do without really trying.
Once someone has earned their way into my heart I will respect them for a lifetime and with lovers, I will always be loyal and still reserve a space for them.

Has anyone got any further thoughts?
Any Scorpio's that have experience with heartbreak/separation?

I just think its such a shame that were going our separate ways now, forgetting that we were lovers we got on as people very well too and I would definately consider her a dear friend if we didn't get together like we did. Now for us to be barely communicating and having nothing to do with each other anymore is just very sad and I do miss my friend as well as my girlfriend.

If you do not try to get with her....she will still be your close friend. I am close to all 3 of my Scorps exes. they usually take time, a year of half year, to get over everything but we resume our friendship.

If you do not try to get with her....she will still be your close friend. I am close to all 3 of my Scorps exes. they usually take time, a year of half year, to get over everything but we resume our friendship.

Thanks for the reply. 🙂
Yeah i am almost 100% certain that she will remain my friend, the feelings will still be there, not as apparent or strong but at the end of the day we don't 'dislike' each other and although breakups are an emotional strain and feelings can change, I still do think that we will be friends.

It's nice to hear that you say your 3 scorp exes needed at least 6 months to get over everything, because i feel EXACTLY the same! Recently, i have been forcing myself to get over her but i can't. I dont think this is because 'I still love her so CAN'T get over her' it's because i need my own time and forcing things won't work and certainly isn't the best way to get over things. Maybe after 6 months/a year i will want her back, but i know i am not thinking clearly at the moment.
How do Cancer women think she will feel after this period of time? I'm not too confident she'll understand if i said i needed all this time to gather my thoughts. How would you interpret things?
We have discussed that i need some time to get the real me back, and also i need to focus on myself which obviously means i'll have to stop thinking about her. This is an understandable thing to do surely?
By all means though she could have moved on and found someone else, but i just want to try and get some idea on how she would feel and this may sound selfish but i don't want to inadvertently squander any possibilities for the future.

Can you edit posts at all? I can't see any option to...I copied what you said cancerlovestaurus because i wanted to read it as i posted and i couldn't see your post when i typed a response! 🙂

I am sorry to hear, Mr. Scorp.