Anjo
@Anjo
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 82 · Topics: 4
Oversensitive?
I totally agree@notsosure...that's not a friendship, but before we had sex, we were good friends and I could talk to him about anything. I felt very comfortable with him and trusted him a great deal. Now we walk by each other like strangers in the night. It sucks to work in the same department.
Oversensitive—
Hell no!!!
U did the right thing...no doubt about it
Carry on with your life without him...Confused man
Hell no!!!
U did the right thing...no doubt about it
Carry on with your life without him...Confused man
I'm cancer rising but hm I can get alittle sensitive and when I do I get so quite like a mouse and shut down.
Thanks @newlove I feel that i have done that right thing. He told me previously that he cares for both of us. I'm assuming he thinks he can commit to one and I'm supposed to be the fallback. I do believe he is confused. It's not a good feeling. I feel so rejected and when that happens I shut down completely.
Id say spending time with her and Her child gave him the warm and fuzzies
Is kind of hard when you get attached to a child also and the vibe between and lover and child like psuedo family unit is hard to replicate with another Person alone maybe that's just something he wants is thinking about etc have to know the person to say could be so many things
The fact he is texting you and not being committed is wrong to the other two really and shows a bad character if he's just made this decision suddenly and is already being shdy and back tracking on it you got a get out of jail free card
Im just saying this to maybe make you feel better why he decided to perhaps try and relationship with her over you
Is kind of hard when you get attached to a child also and the vibe between and lover and child like psuedo family unit is hard to replicate with another Person alone maybe that's just something he wants is thinking about etc have to know the person to say could be so many things
The fact he is texting you and not being committed is wrong to the other two really and shows a bad character if he's just made this decision suddenly and is already being shdy and back tracking on it you got a get out of jail free card
Im just saying this to maybe make you feel better why he decided to perhaps try and relationship with her over you
You decided to intervene??
Gurl, you made that bed and slept with him in it.
Gurl, you made that bed and slept with him in it.
@soundsunscene thank you for your comment. The libra woman cut him off for a month and his excuse was that he missed her and he felt that I had other agendas. He never even had a convo with me to know how I felt. Even after he was so called committed to her, he still wanted to deal with me. Then he would apologize and tell me he was being unfair but he cares about me. It was too confusing for me and I felt that he genuinely didn't care and that kinda pissed me off too. Why commit to someone when u still want to be with someone else.
@DMV Yes I intervene because our chemistry and attraction was so strong that I wanted to see where it would go. He's been dealing with Ms Libra for a while and never committed, so something was not right there. Also, I felt that if he was that into her he would have never agreed to start seeing me. I wanted him and pursued. You are right, I made that bed...lol
Separate yourself from him...no text ,no phone calls ....hI and bye when you see him on the job..always have a smile on your face when passing ...that's it. Don't explain yourself. ..say nothing. Going down this road well cause mix feeling and confusion. .you already feel rejected that's because he never was over her..that's why it's best to let a man breath after he end a relationship...especially when he still attach..look the kid not even his but he ran at the oportunity to be around the kid. It also says alot about his character that he continue to talk sexual to you while he is with her..Trust me you don't want a man like him.
@butterfly30 thanks for your response. I have separated myself from him. I haven't even acknowledged his presence. I should be more mature and at least speak. Eventually I'm sure I will. It is totally my fault. He complained about the relationship and for some reason I felt if I showered him with all of my emotional love and affection that we crabbies do so well, he would definitely leave that dead end relationship. I just feel so slighted because we were close. I guess I was in a fairytale. I think he feels bad but knowing this virgo man, he's not going to want to become vulnerable with me especially since I'm not speaking to him. He wouldn't even reach out to Ms. Libra when she told him to stay out of her life. Deep down inside I think she realized she was losing him and that he and I were getting close and used her son to reconnect back with him. He told me he had no intentions of getting back with her, yet he commits to her the same day he and I were together. Unbelievable. My problem is not that he got back with her. My issue is that being as close as we were, he couldn't communicate this to me before he committed. I just need to get over it and move on. He made his decision.
just flaunt your next boyfriend in front of that bitch libra and the bastard virgo to smash their ego of taking advantage of your feelings.
and a thought, it was a disaster waiting to happen from the first move there, I mean moving in on a man who's got a sexual thing going on with another woman? whether emotional or not you shouldn't advance until he breaks all ties with her ( in your case the woman dumped him for the time being, NOT THE GUY) and that's just to save your worth, if he wants you bad he should've dumped her right before he made any sort of advancing with you. friendship does not equal sexual relationship, sex is definitely a form of commitment above friendship and to get that he should prove his worth. unless it's ONS with a random club date.
don't take yourself down with this shit. respect yourself. and if you think it hurt you too much then screw them both up with a good revenge plan.
and a thought, it was a disaster waiting to happen from the first move there, I mean moving in on a man who's got a sexual thing going on with another woman? whether emotional or not you shouldn't advance until he breaks all ties with her ( in your case the woman dumped him for the time being, NOT THE GUY) and that's just to save your worth, if he wants you bad he should've dumped her right before he made any sort of advancing with you. friendship does not equal sexual relationship, sex is definitely a form of commitment above friendship and to get that he should prove his worth. unless it's ONS with a random club date.
don't take yourself down with this shit. respect yourself. and if you think it hurt you too much then screw them both up with a good revenge plan.
Oh yeah...we had a brief discussion when I mentioned to him how I felt about him not communicating to me before he committed to her and he responds, "I didn't know I needed your permission"....wow. I just thought if you are involved with someone that you claim to care about.. hell yeah you reach out to that person before you commit to someone else. The right thing would be to end the other situation you are involved in first.
@ariessungoddess thank you so much for your advice and the good laugh. I wish I had someone to flaunt in his face...lol. You are definitely right...I shouldn't went there in the first place. I learned from this experience. I know he would be extremely jealous if he seen me with another guy for sure.
@arielle83 I did bring the drama to myself most definitely. I actually thought this thing through and in my head it played out much differently. I guess their bond was much more serious than I thought..than he made it out to be. He's definitely attractive but he's no shemar moore...lol. I'm not involving myself with him anymore. I've humiliated myself enough. I am embarrassed because I'm not a fwb type of girl. Uuugggghhhhh...just a very bad decision that I learned from.
Thank you @Arielle83. I appreciate everything you said ?
Posted by AnjoI understand. .u believe you just wanted him to tell you straight up what was going on. Most men are stupid in that way..half of the time they move without thinking. As soon when he jump to the opportunity to be with the libra son that was the red flag. You could never be his friend again because for one he is still coming to you in a sexual manner while he with her..he is trying to put you in a position as his sex call ...it's clear that you are not with that. His mind on her and having a relationship with her..due to the history they had he never got over her. Move on ..you deserve a man that can give you all of him ..you do not deserve a confuse boy who is now you no is a cheater because he still want sex with you. Like I said you smile and give him only two words hi and bye ..he don't deserve anything else..don't be mad be relieve that you haven't fallen real deeply for him ..imagin him doing this months or a year down the road after you put in real time in.
@butterfly30 thanks for your response. I have separated myself from him. I haven't even acknowledged his presence. I should be more mature and at least speak. Eventually I'm sure I will. It is totally my fault. He complained about the relationship and for some reason I felt if I showered him with all of my emotional love and affection that we crabbies do so well, he would definitely leave that dead end relationship. I just feel so slighted because we were close. I guess I was in a fairytale. I think he feels bad but knowing this virgo man, he's not going to want to become vulnerable with me especially since I'm not speaking to him. He wouldn't even reach out to Ms. Libra when she told him to stay out of her life. Deep down inside I think she realized she was losing him and that he and I were getting close and used her son to reconnect back with him. He told me he had no intentions of getting back with her, yet he commits to her the same day he and I were together. Unbelievable. My problem is not that he got back with her. My issue is that being as close as we were, he couldn't communicate this to me before he committed. I just need to get over it and move on. He made his decision.
@butterfly30 thank you again. I texted him last week that he was not a genuine person. He never responded. He has been invisible to me. We shared eye contact once this week and I pulled myself from his glance. I think I will apologize for the mean things I said but after that I will gradually say hi and bye. Yes, you are right. I'm glad I didn't fall deeply for him because I would have been a basket case. When I use to get in text disputes with him he use to always say he is so fucked up and he don't know how to communicate as I like...it was annoying.
He's trying to have cake and eat it too. Do not show him you care anymore. You'll be happy you did that someday. He's a dirtbag. Don't mess with players especially because you are a cancer and emotional. You don't want this to affect you long term. Speaking first hand as an emotional cancer too!
@pinkbird03
Thank you for your advice. As a cancer, you know how hard it is to pretend or not show care, especially when we care. Sometimes we have a hard time letting go. Can a man care for two women...I think about that sometimes, is he confused? I've known him for 8 years and sometimes I think I know his heart cause I'm a deep thinker and feeler and have had many deep convos with him over the years. But then I snap out of it cause I know he wants us both (having his cake), but he did commit to her. I'm not willing to share and I blame myself for this mess. Maybe i gave him the wrong impression by trying to show him the love she wasn't. I guess the logical side of me (Virgo) didnt come into play. I should have stayed in my lane. It gets better for me everyday and I appreciate all the good advice?
Thank you for your advice. As a cancer, you know how hard it is to pretend or not show care, especially when we care. Sometimes we have a hard time letting go. Can a man care for two women...I think about that sometimes, is he confused? I've known him for 8 years and sometimes I think I know his heart cause I'm a deep thinker and feeler and have had many deep convos with him over the years. But then I snap out of it cause I know he wants us both (having his cake), but he did commit to her. I'm not willing to share and I blame myself for this mess. Maybe i gave him the wrong impression by trying to show him the love she wasn't. I guess the logical side of me (Virgo) didnt come into play. I should have stayed in my lane. It gets better for me everyday and I appreciate all the good advice?
Posted by AnjoI believe they can care about two women at a time, but it never ever ends well. I think the hardest part is that you all work at the same place. But in time you'll be better than ever!! Lesson learned 🙂
@pinkbird03
Thank you for your advice. As a cancer, you know how hard it is to pretend or not show care, especially when we care. Sometimes we have a hard time letting go. Can a man care for two women...I think about that sometimes, is he confused? I've known him for 8 years and sometimes I think I know his heart cause I'm a deep thinker and feeler and have had many deep convos with him over the years. But then I snap out of it cause I know he wants us both (having his cake), but he did commit to her. I'm not willing to share and I blame myself for this mess. Maybe i gave him the wrong impression by trying to show him the love she wasn't. I guess the logical side of me (Virgo) didnt come into play. I should have stayed in my lane. It gets better for me everyday and I appreciate all the good advice?
@oceanboy88
Awww....thank you so much. That was so nice of you to say. I really appreciated that. Yes, he chose her and after that our friendship has never been the same. I felt he didn't cherish our friendship enough to have a convo with me b4 he made his decision...just to make sure we were ok. I would have understood. The worst part was he pretended he was all about me. I was still a lil cautious but he did and said things that made me feel safe to open myself up to him more and then the first interaction he has with her, he commits when he is involved with me. I'm glad I seen this side of him. He's not the same person I thought I knew.
Awww....thank you so much. That was so nice of you to say. I really appreciated that. Yes, he chose her and after that our friendship has never been the same. I felt he didn't cherish our friendship enough to have a convo with me b4 he made his decision...just to make sure we were ok. I would have understood. The worst part was he pretended he was all about me. I was still a lil cautious but he did and said things that made me feel safe to open myself up to him more and then the first interaction he has with her, he commits when he is involved with me. I'm glad I seen this side of him. He's not the same person I thought I knew.
Anjo,
You're not being forthright.
The Libra and the Virgo had a relationship, not a friendship. The Virgo also had a good relationship with her son. Clearly, there was a commitment there. No FWB. But something tells me that you already knew that despite your claims to be naive and being a victim to this man. You needed to address their relationship in a "FWB" description to justify you intervening and commencing a sexual relationship prematurely. You saw an opportunity and you seized it. Not passing judgement, but at least keep it honest.
Virgos are mutable signs, they're adaptable, go with the flow types. You set u a FWB, he complied, his ex wanted him back, he complied. Is he strong in character? Probably not. But he's truthful. Which means you always had a choice. The ball was always in your court.
Were you being oversensitive? No.
However, you were not being honest with yourself. You don't miss his friendship. You want more. You're expecting more.
He's not going to give it to you.
He will keep the Libra, and find another office "You" to toy around with on the side.
Don't be friends, but you will have to learn to be cordial.
After all, the two of you work together.
You're not being forthright.
The Libra and the Virgo had a relationship, not a friendship. The Virgo also had a good relationship with her son. Clearly, there was a commitment there. No FWB. But something tells me that you already knew that despite your claims to be naive and being a victim to this man. You needed to address their relationship in a "FWB" description to justify you intervening and commencing a sexual relationship prematurely. You saw an opportunity and you seized it. Not passing judgement, but at least keep it honest.
Virgos are mutable signs, they're adaptable, go with the flow types. You set u a FWB, he complied, his ex wanted him back, he complied. Is he strong in character? Probably not. But he's truthful. Which means you always had a choice. The ball was always in your court.
Were you being oversensitive? No.
However, you were not being honest with yourself. You don't miss his friendship. You want more. You're expecting more.
He's not going to give it to you.
He will keep the Libra, and find another office "You" to toy around with on the side.
Don't be friends, but you will have to learn to be cordial.
After all, the two of you work together.
Posted by AnjoNot happening.
I know he would be extremely jealous if he seen me with another guy for sure.
You don't know Virgos very well...do you?
@taurusbull1977
Thank you for your comment. He told me they were only friends. He and I were friends as well. All he did was complained about her. I definitely was not trying to be his FWB. I thought their relationship was a dead end relationship not going anywhere so I wanted to give him more. I was wrong I know that now. I was thinking with emotions not logic.
They had a falling out. She wanted nothing to do with him. We got closer, he pretended he was interested in me...Maybe I was just something to do to kill time. What bothered me and hurt me to the upmost was he didn't explain to me his true feeling for her. Maybe he enjoyed my company too much or knew I would end our situation if he did...idk. l dont want to be with a man still emotionally tied to another woman. He told me he was going to meet up with her son and go to the movies and he wanted to at least remain friends with her. At first he was skeptical about going. Maybe I was naive. I thought they were over. I had sex with him that day and he never said anything to me about his true feelings and he tells me the next day they are now committed. I was blown away. All I wanted from him was a sincere apology. I cannot even get that. All we do is argue and I always hear that I am critical and I can't let the situation go and how fucked up he is and he cares for us both etc...
I take full responsibility for my actions and I've tried to remain friends but deep down inside I feel betrayed. That's fine, he can keep his libra. I wish them the best but don't play games with my emotions. If he wanted a fuck buddy, I wish he told me that and let me decide.
As a cancer, I can't let go of how I feel. I haven't spoken to him cause I feel as if he never cared about my feelings or our friendship. I will be cordial to him because we work in the same department but our friendship is pretty much over with. I don't want more because I refuse to be the fallback girl.
Thank you for your comment. He told me they were only friends. He and I were friends as well. All he did was complained about her. I definitely was not trying to be his FWB. I thought their relationship was a dead end relationship not going anywhere so I wanted to give him more. I was wrong I know that now. I was thinking with emotions not logic.
They had a falling out. She wanted nothing to do with him. We got closer, he pretended he was interested in me...Maybe I was just something to do to kill time. What bothered me and hurt me to the upmost was he didn't explain to me his true feeling for her. Maybe he enjoyed my company too much or knew I would end our situation if he did...idk. l dont want to be with a man still emotionally tied to another woman. He told me he was going to meet up with her son and go to the movies and he wanted to at least remain friends with her. At first he was skeptical about going. Maybe I was naive. I thought they were over. I had sex with him that day and he never said anything to me about his true feelings and he tells me the next day they are now committed. I was blown away. All I wanted from him was a sincere apology. I cannot even get that. All we do is argue and I always hear that I am critical and I can't let the situation go and how fucked up he is and he cares for us both etc...
I take full responsibility for my actions and I've tried to remain friends but deep down inside I feel betrayed. That's fine, he can keep his libra. I wish them the best but don't play games with my emotions. If he wanted a fuck buddy, I wish he told me that and let me decide.
As a cancer, I can't let go of how I feel. I haven't spoken to him cause I feel as if he never cared about my feelings or our friendship. I will be cordial to him because we work in the same department but our friendship is pretty much over with. I don't want more because I refuse to be the fallback girl.
You did the right thing. You preserved your self-respect. In terms of forgetting him, don't. You are a Cancer, and Cancers always remember. Just use the memory of him to prepare yourself for similar situations. Because, one day, you will find someone who will sweep you off your feet and make this guy look like nothing.
Also, I only read the OP 😛
Also, I only read the OP 😛
Posted by Shaun1994Thanks you so much @Shaun1994 I appreciate your comment...I sure hope so ☺
You did the right thing. You preserved your self-respect. In terms of forgetting him, don't. You are a Cancer, and Cancers always remember. Just use the memory of him to prepare yourself for similar situations. Because, one day, you will find someone who will sweep you off your feet and make this guy look like nothing.
Also, I only read the OP 😛
@goldigold
Thank you very much. I will ?
Thank you very much. I will ?
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