PATH TO HAPPINESS

lol nobody has to read or repsond if they dont want to. lol this is going to be a way for me to express myself.
each day without my cancer male friend in my life.. if i am tempted to call him, i will come on this thread instead and spill my guts instead of spilling them to him. hopeuflly this will bring me one step closer to a happy future, with or without him.
so ladies and gentlemen, today is DAY 1.

i am dying! lol emotions are flying all over the place. but i feel confident that i will not contact him today.

good idea to come here and vent..and no you are not confident you will not contact him today..you ARE NOT going to contact him today :-)

I do the same thing LLT, when I want to contact my Cancer but only because I am emotional I type the email and save it rather than send it, and a day or two later I'll go back and read it and see if it really needs to be sent. It's a good way to build control over impulses- by delaying them or rerouting them. Great idea...please stick to it, for yourself and your self respect.

DAY 2:
missing him already. starting to blame myself for everything that has happened.
But im staying focused and keeping myself busy.
i will not call.

Dont blame yourself. it takes 2 to tango and no matter what you or him do its in God's hands and its all good. Just let things play out and do something really productive for you. Dont forget to hit the board when you get the urge and impulse to call him

lol tahnks. im urging alredya to call him, i was so close to sending him a txt message tellin him how much he means to me.
but thats needy aswell, so i decided not to. i jus want things to be on good terms. ugh.

Naw dont worry about them being on bad terms, plus if he said to leave him alone and you keep messaging him I dont really think that's to the benefit of "good terms".

YOUR RIGHT!!!!!!!!! bingo. u jsut stopped me form texting lol thanks lol

you're welcome. My Cancer just asked me for some space indirectly. And at first my feelings were hurt, but at least this time he let me know ahead of time that there is a lot going on with him. He said I didnt need to know anything about it so that makes me worry, but I trust his good judgment and I trust him. I'll let him do his thing and get back when he can. I'll probably be frequenting this board so I can hold off on bothering him lol.

awwww, well atleast hes nice about it... you are lucky, then agian, im sure my cancer was nice about it at first... but i jus kept bugging him cuz i didnt kno why he suddenly decided this.

haha you are free to join in .

i msut say, you seem to have a real good grip of yourself, and ur emotions. i admire that, u being a taurus and all.
I guess these situations arent a total loss, in a way these cancers are teaching us how to control our emotions . a good skill to have.

leokitten, lol nice to ehar form u again
thats the plan.... when it will take effect? well, im hoping now.
wut can i say, im addicted.

It's ok LLT. You will eventually get over it and move on, believe me. I've been the pining, whining, waiting, making up and breaking up fool before and though I'm not necessarily proud of it I am proud of who I am today so I wouldn't take nothing for my journey. I'm sure one day you'll look back on this and thank God that you finally got a clue and that you went through it sooner than later to get that clue. Every rookie card is worth nothing until 10 years later the guy is an all-star. We all start off as that rookie and as we play the game, we win, we lose, and we keep scoring til at last we get inducted into the hall.

SF, great sentiment there... lol i liked that. thanks/

DAY 3
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am feeling great!

Yoooo!!!!! HE will use his telepathic powers of influence bzzzzttt!!! and zap with charm and memories that would instigate feelings of romance and euphoria.MMMMMMMMM can u feel it huh huh huh can u huh,lol. BElieve one thing we cnacers are psychics and can feel you out even if u try to hide it.

Ooh, BlackKnoxx, you Cancers are not that dayum psychic. Esp when you have some one ten steps ahead of your game.

If they have ESP like that Imma need em to use it more lol

then why u still with ur cnacer krobe throw away dat leo pride common admit it, we have as sweet fatale said esp.lol Step to your game believe u me we can step up by the way it hought u had a guy besides the cancer, so u love two games,hmmmmm.Dat aint love dats just need of excitement. clarify for me.

Yall have something but I dont know if its ESP.

No, I don't have two men anymore. I want to be single for right now, and don't really want to rush into nothing. You Cancer men are a dayum handful. It's like you sit up begging for attention, and then once you get your emotional needs feed, you run off and come back after you realize that you are not going to be chase. Plus, like I told my Cancer, you men are addicted to sex and passion queens aren't you? No, it is not the need for excitment, but who in the hell has time to sit up waiting for someone who needs constant reassurance from everyone in America. So, no it is not excitment, but it is not sitting around waiting for you to make up your mind either, I don't do good with uncertainty.

So, instead of forcing or pressuring you to do something you are uncertain of, I will just let you live your life while I live mines and maybe one day, it will happen. I am in big rush.

huh then why give advice then , so umm urrr nevermind yes , Yet u still want us.lol. Then leave da situation yet u give advice in da forum,hmmmmm. We love our sex if u can't keep up bzzzt up to u that's why we like tauruses they know our needs and we know theirs is just that there are times its just miscommunication on both parties,its da mke up. If you can't handle da heat get out or extinguish it. U ar ein a big rush hmmmm i see. Okay well if u think reassurance ..is just that we get extremely anxious at times yup anxious the fact we have u and if u really love us. Well if that is not ur peice of pie best u get out of it.

I dont have any problem with my cancer needing reassurance...i just dont understand it when I give it to him and he's skeptical...why is he so skeptical? It hurts my feelings A LOT that he acts like Im not being sincere.

Okay gimme a scenario i'm cancer so i will tell u flat out why. No tact again. he may feel that u are hiding something. We are sometimes not direct as we like cause we hate to get into arguments and two we dont wanna hurt feelings or lose you. So if we hear any pause or any sidetrack from the convo then we suspect something.

I say "Hun I really miss you and I really want to see you and just talk and rest my eyes on you, throw some jokes...like old times" and he says "you miss me? you dont want to see me..." or I send him this long email about how I feel about him and his reply is "gotcha"

I say "Hun I really miss you and I really want to see you and just talk and rest my eyes on you, throw some jokes...like old times" and he says "you miss me? you dont want to see me..."

Sweetest, just like BlackKnoxx said "if we hear any pause or any sidetrack from the convo then we suspect something."

Like for me, if I was talking to Mr. T and he said he missed me, I wouldn't instantly believe it, especially if we were talking about somehing else and he just blurted it out. My antenna would come up and I would be wondering "What is that he really wants from me."

The same way Taurus likes affection to be shown to them, Cancer's motto is show & prove.

I would want Mr. T to come and show me he missed me, after he told me. The same way most Taurus don't like communication to be over the phone, they like face to face interaction, Cancer want both your actions and words to speak directly, although we aren't the most direct people.

I think that is how most relationships with people who have opposite attractions are supposed to work. They have qualities in them that you may lack or they need to work on.

Taurus can teach Cancer a thing or two about being direct. Remember bulls charge straight at their target, Crabs scuttle sideways, towards their target and sometimes back up, look at a few times and move a little closer.

YEAH,
I have to agree with you Sweets, I have told my Cancer I missed him once, and he said OK? Call me? You call him and you don't hear from him? He likes for you to chase him and I am just not into that!

If I miss you, I might have wanted some sex, for the first time! LOL! Even if you do show it with your actions, he is still skeptical! When you show him love, it's like what are you trying to prove. He will ask you for reassurance when you don't give it to him, then when you give it to him and show him with your actions, he gets scared. He will sit up crying, crying, crying, you are taking to long, why are we not moving fast. Then you take a couple steps forwared and he runs a couple steps back. Ok, well you be scared, but I am not going to sit around waiting on you. Come to me when you can walk straight forward and charge.

I agree, if you are scared, then I am moving to fast, and you don't have to worry about me, I am backing way, way, way up. I know how to slow my role. But, the next time you tell me I am moving too slow, I am going to move slower.

So cancer boys....why say you are going to do something and then you don't do it....are you trying to piss the other person off or test them....

And if that is the case what kind of reaction do you want?

Man bump suspicions....can't I be trusted. I havent given him a reason not to trust me. He doesn't think I can be suspicious too? I can and I have but somewhere along the line I look at him and what he does and says and I think "I can trust him" and "the only way to go somewhere is to get out of neutral and go"....I cant prove anything if he wont accept what im showing

have to love all the overanalyzing..i guess that is why we are considered the smartest animals on the planet..lol

lol clarify CanSir, no subliminal, thats not helpful. If im overanalyzing something please let me know

"can't I be trusted. I havent given him a reason not to trust me."

Sweetest, indeed you may not have given him a reason to not trust you, but the circumstances of how you two got together are still in the back of his mind. He will come around with time. I notice Taurus have patience until it is something that they really, really want, and then they want it NOW. Remember usually trust for most people is something gained not given freely. The same way Taurus like to observe people and their motives to see the true intent, Cancers do that too, they just do it a little different and perhaps maybe a little slower.

"If I miss you, I might have wanted some sex.....Even if you do show it with your actions, he is still skeptical! When you show him love, it's like what are you trying to prove. "

Krobe - I think that the reason Cancers (can't really speak for men) in general are guarded more so than other signs is because when it comes to sex and love, we tend to look for situations where we can get both at the same time. Since in today's society sex can come way sooner than love, if a Cancer is into you it may take them a longer time to realize, rationale and accept your feelings to be true for them.

Alot of times with a Cancer when we do not know for sure that you really want us, especially if you are too impatient/aggressive, ignore us or dump us and then wanna come back too many times, we refrain from really giving you our all. We want security. We feel so much and can become emotionally, physically and sexually attached really quickly, even when the other person doesn't realize it.

There are other signs like Aqua - Gemini that have a better ability to separate the two, but most Cancers if what they are looking for is a stable relationship, want both. And if you are the person they want both with, then they want you to prove that you want it as much as they do. The worst thing for a Cancer is to read ?intuitively? into a situation about what the other person's feelings/intentions are and be totally wrong and come out with feelings of being used or emotionally damaged.

Again my perspective as a female, maybe totally different for Cancer men.

Thank you HotGal, that is some clarification. And you're right, Im patient until I want it NOW lol. I guess there is no way to get it from him before he wants to give it, but....but..there has to be a but

Yeah,
Hotgal, you are true to the fact of a Cancer man wanting more with you. He will act as if he wants more, then when you are finally ready to give him more, he distances himself, it is like he wants you to chase him for something. Some women just don't like chasing after men like that, let alone try to prove to him that he can trust you. It is just too much effort. Why keep testing a person's patience? I have no understanding of that, you will say, he I want you to be in a relationship with me, then when you finally try to give him what he wants, he gets scared. The hell with that, I will just rather move on. You want me to give you 100% but take you time giving back 100% . No, alot of women like recieving 100% too, and like Cansir stated, it is because the Cancer men get what they want, and then they leave.

I wouldnt and dont mind chasing him except he acts like he doesn't see me in pursuit. Honestly I dont see one reason for this man to question whether I want him or not...except that I understand that people see the same thing differently. Im asking what he needs me to show him and he isnt telling me. Im telling him what I need him to show me and he isnt showing me. I understand there is a matter of him being comfortable before telling me, but he has never told me that he just is not comfortable or really anything else about how he feels about what im asking for that matter

Krobe - I know that for me, when I am getting what I want in a stable relationship and I am secure in the feelings that I have and that the other person has for me, I do not leave. Then again I am a female. That is when I feel most secure. Why leave when I have what I have been longing for. IDK, men seems hard to please in general, maybe that is even more true for the cancer man. Maybe he has the car syndrome (got a nice ride, but always looking to upgrade to a better one.)

after reading all these posts im kinda getting the feeling that i have broken my cancer's trust.. if wut ur all saying is true, then he should be back. Becuase im feeling great, and independant, and i know pretty soon he will pick up on that , come into my life and see if he can tear me back down lol

ohwell.
Day 4..... Doing Great! 🙂

Good point LK. With that independance and happiness you should be working on some strength so that when/if he comes back to be destructive you can send him on his way and really mean it.

krobe are u okay? u answered ur own question yet and i say yet u still persist in saying "cancer men leave" u may think u understand us but despite ur own advice u still dont. Hence u and the cancer would be together without much complaint.
Secondly cancer men don't bounce(duck out when they have something good) just like that. There are reasons albeit that you may think he wanna leave just like that it aint so. and sweetest fatale ,what as i said some posts before whatare u asking of him....do you want to be engaged? Propose hmmmm not a bad idea,lol. ON bended knees in the rain .sweeetest will u marry meeeee.lol . ANd by the way krobe if you had two men from before what u think would have happened , that is WHHYYYYY he behaved like that. You must watch yourself "and move away from dat pride" and see your faults as well. BUt after allll these posts and reading it seems this man always at fault and you're faultless. Anyways u said what u have said put it into action and let's see if u complain more..... or less.

yes i agree, that is the point of this.
i am surprised at how fast i am recooperating.
Today is Day 5, and it keeps getting better.

This space has been good. i am learning more about myself, what has to change and or improve, and i am learning more about him aswell.

lol no in the earlier post I was talking about him talking about being married and having children and calling me his babymama and wife. I wouldnt mind it in the future...somewhere down the line I do want to be married. I trust God and this man and I have a lot of faith in him, so I put the ball in his court and if he wants it he will set a pace, if he doesnt he wont and eventually ill move on. He isnt sending any hints that he doesnt want me hes just sending hints that he wants to drag his feet, and he;s allowed to do that. I will wait patiently and faithfully, if i get it I know it will be worth the wait.

wait i noticed something with regards to ur reccoperation LLT you typing sooo much better too, hardly any typos, as for me the typo war begins,lol. mix pu my words .

No, BlackKnoxx,

I think you are still confused.

Let me get this straight! I was NOT in a relationship with my Cancer man and I told him that we were NOT in a relationship. He wanted to be in a relationship, but like I told him, how can I be in a relationship with you and someone else? NO, and I am was not going to just LEAVE my man I was with because HE wanted me too. NO, if I just leave my man, how in the hell would he EVER trust me and believe I would NEVER leave him for someone else.

I always made it clear to him that we were just friends and he would have to wait until I found the time to up and leave. I would not leave for HIM, I would leave on my terms and do it because I was doing it for ME!

So, weren't in a relationship. NO, I let him know that we had to be friends with NO sexual contact. No, once I was ready to give him what he wanted, he told me he was scared! So, I will back off and not feed his negative energy of being scared. He makes me think he enjoyed the struggle of trying to take me from my man.

okayyyyyyy@krobei have nutin to say again u said enough but i will not spill any beans or coffee beans for that matter. Gotta be up in da morning folgers in ur cup.lol. NA dby the by i was not confused you just laid everything out in the open now. SO u see why he acted like that. Rant and rave as u like but i think u were still in da wrong. NUff said. Look at urself first. HWy u left ur first man then?

HOw ur day going thus far though LLT good ? MAke sure to take in some fresh air, some nice ornage juice let in linger taste da sweetness.mmmmm foooodddd,drooolllll. WHoops whoops stay on topic. BUt how was food i mean how was ur day?

Yes!
I told Cancer man I was single and available. He was chasing me like crazy. LOL! But I went out with some friends, and I was with someone else because he has not proved himself worthy of my trust, and I catch him ALL hugged up with some fat biotch! LOL! I was not mad because he does not owe me a committed relationship, but when he saw me with someone else, he caught an attitude and told me I shouldn't be going out.

And on top of that, he told me he was going to beat me up because I was playing HIM! I asked him wasn't he single, I always HAVE to remind him that we are not in a relationship until I hear it come from his MOUTH!

AH cest la ve cest la ve. End of story but i do not think u giving the whole story too many holes.and u still in da wrong.And like a politician u avoidied my question."why u left the first man?and when we chase u we give our all .anyways dat is done and history. U was complaining about sex and passiona so i guess u just wanted a doorknob.

I was first man because he was a PAIN in the ass. He was POSSESSIVE and controlling and he was always in competiton with me instead of working as a team. Everything had to be HIS way, no compromising. I came straight home to him everyday. I brought my whole paycheck home to him along with my mind, body and soul. He never had to worry about another man. Never.

Out of nowhere he started accusing me of being unfaithful. Started calling me all the time, accusing me of skipping work and being with someone else, trying to keep up with my every move and that was something he NEVER done. I never gave him the reason to think I was out with someone. I gave him NO reason at all to think like that but since he started thinking I was not true to him, I just went out searching for someone else. I HATE for someone to accuse me of being unfaithful when I am trying to give you my ALL. Not going to work with me. That butter gets tiring and I don't LIKE possessiveness or jealousy. I just like to be me. If you trust me, and believe in me, you have nothing to worry about.

lol BK, lunacy is the word for it. I will take a deep breath and let it go how it goes