I use to date a cheap @ss cancer...believe me...it was brief!
R All Cancer Guys Cheap? (Page 2)
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well, things are really crazy, I could not take it anymore and i said that i really want to be with him, i just need a commitment, i need to talk about things that bother me, he needs to talk to me, etc....
Anyway, he left saturday morning for a biz trip and just left and i asked when he would be back, he said he didn't want to tell me. I called him on his phone and he said it only
has one bar and i need to the time the talk time because i need to meet the guys from work. i asked where he was staying in washington dc and he wouldnt' tell me.
anyway, he said he forgot his phone charger. so he hung up. the phone is now dead. he will probably stay in there until labor day which would be 10 days. this is the first time in 2 years that we have not spoken or seen each other.
i feel sick inside. we haven't made love in 2 weeks because he said he feels too upset to do that. I keep thinking he will cheat on me.
is this just a cancer way of getting back at me or is he calling it quits by leaving me hanging like this? i mean, i think it is wrong to not just call from a freinds phone to say he made the trip ok.
Anyway, he left saturday morning for a biz trip and just left and i asked when he would be back, he said he didn't want to tell me. I called him on his phone and he said it only
has one bar and i need to the time the talk time because i need to meet the guys from work. i asked where he was staying in washington dc and he wouldnt' tell me.
anyway, he said he forgot his phone charger. so he hung up. the phone is now dead. he will probably stay in there until labor day which would be 10 days. this is the first time in 2 years that we have not spoken or seen each other.
i feel sick inside. we haven't made love in 2 weeks because he said he feels too upset to do that. I keep thinking he will cheat on me.
is this just a cancer way of getting back at me or is he calling it quits by leaving me hanging like this? i mean, i think it is wrong to not just call from a freinds phone to say he made the trip ok.
i think that him not calling is cruel he knows i am a worry wart. i always say that i feel i could get physically sick with something terrible like a freind of mine. she swears she got breast cancer because she worried sick over some guy that was playing games with her.
firefly- i sympathize with you.
firefly- i sympathize with you.
i am starting to feel that i am the cause of some of this because i have been checkin on him on line, etc...i just don't want to be cheated on or be treated with any disrespect. i might be coming across as controlling but that is not what i want to be.
i just want to be number one to him as i have treated him. I say that i do not want to give him any reason to ever doubt me but then i find that he makes a comment on some naked teenager chicks picture on the photography website and i go crazy. he shouldn't be emailing comments on how pretty she is or a poetic verse of how she looks, it should be me that he is telling who is pretty.
i think if i back track there will be a clearer understanding of my concerns...
I am a singer in a local band. 2 yrs ago he came out with his girlfreind to see me.
shortly afterwards, he emailed me a photo he took of my band, said he was a photographer. I held on to his info and about 3 months later i phoned him and said i needed headshots for a place i would be playing that requested them. well then he went to the same biz meeting he is at now and he started to email me and send me poems.
some were about things in general some were very seductive. i am a sucker for poetry so i sent him some of mine, anyway things escalated online. we met for a photo shoot and went out to dinner. I was kicking my leg under the table and thought i was kicking the table leg and it was his foot. a few minutes later he started to rub my leg with his foot.
I was attracted to him for several weeks and one thing led to another and we made out in his car and went all the way. I NEVER DID THAT BEFORE. i want to make that clear. totally out of my character, i just fell hard,
Meanwhile, he told me that he took his anual biz trip to washington and came back and broke up with his girlfriend. so do you see where feel all weirded out by his behaviour and the trip to washington and talking to women on line etc?
i just want to be number one to him as i have treated him. I say that i do not want to give him any reason to ever doubt me but then i find that he makes a comment on some naked teenager chicks picture on the photography website and i go crazy. he shouldn't be emailing comments on how pretty she is or a poetic verse of how she looks, it should be me that he is telling who is pretty.
i think if i back track there will be a clearer understanding of my concerns...
I am a singer in a local band. 2 yrs ago he came out with his girlfreind to see me.
shortly afterwards, he emailed me a photo he took of my band, said he was a photographer. I held on to his info and about 3 months later i phoned him and said i needed headshots for a place i would be playing that requested them. well then he went to the same biz meeting he is at now and he started to email me and send me poems.
some were about things in general some were very seductive. i am a sucker for poetry so i sent him some of mine, anyway things escalated online. we met for a photo shoot and went out to dinner. I was kicking my leg under the table and thought i was kicking the table leg and it was his foot. a few minutes later he started to rub my leg with his foot.
I was attracted to him for several weeks and one thing led to another and we made out in his car and went all the way. I NEVER DID THAT BEFORE. i want to make that clear. totally out of my character, i just fell hard,
Meanwhile, he told me that he took his anual biz trip to washington and came back and broke up with his girlfriend. so do you see where feel all weirded out by his behaviour and the trip to washington and talking to women on line etc?
its crazy how everywhere you read on astro sites cancer and pisces are the perfect match ...
star..........
i would say 90% of our relationship is unbelievably beautiful. we have so much in common. same taste in art, music, food, activities, etc....same humor, lovemaking is off the chart.
its only a couple things that are out of control. if they weren't there i would be pinching myself because it is usually so great.
i wrote in the other thread that he has left. we have not communicated since saturday morning. i probably wont see him until tues. that is a long time to not know what is going on. i hope to god he didnt cheat on me. the thought of that makes me want barf.
i would say 90% of our relationship is unbelievably beautiful. we have so much in common. same taste in art, music, food, activities, etc....same humor, lovemaking is off the chart.
its only a couple things that are out of control. if they weren't there i would be pinching myself because it is usually so great.
i wrote in the other thread that he has left. we have not communicated since saturday morning. i probably wont see him until tues. that is a long time to not know what is going on. i hope to god he didnt cheat on me. the thought of that makes me want barf.
leo kitten...
i agree with you. that he has been a jerk. i know i have been hard on him too. we have this disagreement and all i want to do is come to a compromise somehow.
I have never loved anybody like this before. he has been patient but he feels like i am invading his privacy and wanting to ruin his business by be difficult with the photography thing (other thread).
A part of me wants to walk away right now because i am Pi $ $ ed off so bad. But another part of me want to be totally sure that the best this is to end this. i am a believer that there is no problem too big to solve. maybe i am just naive or too optimistic.
I need to know for sure if this is his true colors or if he is acting out of angry emotions. I know i do and say things that i don't mean when i am mad or someone is trying to change me. I have been trying to change him and i see its not working. it has pushed him away.
i am just upset that i am the type to get in there and try to find solutions to things headon. i dont like to run away from problems. i know he has been extremely stressed at work as well. he has been looking for another job. he also would like to leave this state.
I dont' like to view things as power play issues. maybe its all the pisces in me but I just want to believe that if we truely love each other deep down that that love will rise to the surface once the emotions have cooled. maybe i am a fool but i don't give this much of myself without feeling that it can be given back.
i tend to try to go beneath the surface and i am not sure if that is good or bad but its like i dive deep under a slashing tide down under the water metphorically speaking. i try to get to the roots and find where its coming from and can ignore the surface (mean things said, ignorance, etc...)to get the core of the way someone is acting or reacting to me....
I am not saying this is the right way to go about anything, but it has been my nature. i think what you are saying is that i should look at things on the surface and react to what i see and not try to understand where the extreme behaviour is coming from. I am wondering if i should do that. its hard being in the situation as opposed to watching it like a movie.
I honestly want some thoughts on this...for example......
i am thinking is he is cutting off all contact to sort things out, try to figure out if we really should work things out and go on and the time away is good. He wants this to be a time i ca
i agree with you. that he has been a jerk. i know i have been hard on him too. we have this disagreement and all i want to do is come to a compromise somehow.
I have never loved anybody like this before. he has been patient but he feels like i am invading his privacy and wanting to ruin his business by be difficult with the photography thing (other thread).
A part of me wants to walk away right now because i am Pi $ $ ed off so bad. But another part of me want to be totally sure that the best this is to end this. i am a believer that there is no problem too big to solve. maybe i am just naive or too optimistic.
I need to know for sure if this is his true colors or if he is acting out of angry emotions. I know i do and say things that i don't mean when i am mad or someone is trying to change me. I have been trying to change him and i see its not working. it has pushed him away.
i am just upset that i am the type to get in there and try to find solutions to things headon. i dont like to run away from problems. i know he has been extremely stressed at work as well. he has been looking for another job. he also would like to leave this state.
I dont' like to view things as power play issues. maybe its all the pisces in me but I just want to believe that if we truely love each other deep down that that love will rise to the surface once the emotions have cooled. maybe i am a fool but i don't give this much of myself without feeling that it can be given back.
i tend to try to go beneath the surface and i am not sure if that is good or bad but its like i dive deep under a slashing tide down under the water metphorically speaking. i try to get to the roots and find where its coming from and can ignore the surface (mean things said, ignorance, etc...)to get the core of the way someone is acting or reacting to me....
I am not saying this is the right way to go about anything, but it has been my nature. i think what you are saying is that i should look at things on the surface and react to what i see and not try to understand where the extreme behaviour is coming from. I am wondering if i should do that. its hard being in the situation as opposed to watching it like a movie.
I honestly want some thoughts on this...for example......
i am thinking is he is cutting off all contact to sort things out, try to figure out if we really should work things out and go on and the time away is good. He wants this to be a time i ca
"You are being stupid."
Sadly enough you can always tell who the stupid one is when they can only use their tiny brains to push out negativity and insults to belittle someone who is just asking for advice. If the topic and situation bothers you so much Leo Kitten, why waste your energy to reply. Obviously when someone is stupid they can't listen good enough to comprehend your advice. So you are being stupid by repling to what you call stupid, because you are stupid enough to think that a stupid person would have any idea of what the hell you're talking about. But I guess you just consume yourself with stupidness because it's the only thing you know and it helps to call someone else out to make them feel like shiat just to make yourself seem a little less stupider.
Sadly enough you can always tell who the stupid one is when they can only use their tiny brains to push out negativity and insults to belittle someone who is just asking for advice. If the topic and situation bothers you so much Leo Kitten, why waste your energy to reply. Obviously when someone is stupid they can't listen good enough to comprehend your advice. So you are being stupid by repling to what you call stupid, because you are stupid enough to think that a stupid person would have any idea of what the hell you're talking about. But I guess you just consume yourself with stupidness because it's the only thing you know and it helps to call someone else out to make them feel like shiat just to make yourself seem a little less stupider.
Sinder,
We are all human and we all go through things. It doesn't matter what anyone on here says about you or your relationship, only you know you whole story and therefore, the end result is only up to you.
After reading your posts, you sound like a very loving person who cares very deeply about people (maybe it's the Taurus Venus). There is nothing wrong with that and the ones that love the deepest are always the ones to get shiat on by other selfish people.
The good thing about you is that you will always have love and you will come across good and bad people that you will share it with but fortunatly they can never take your love away or change who you are inside.
You will be the winner in the end because he will never find someone else that will treat him the way you do and put up with his ways. Life is funny and karma hits us all. He will get away with this behaviour towards you but next time around someone will hit him 10 times harder.
You can smile to yourself then 🙂
We can sometimes take longer than others to finally end a bad relationship but it doesn't make us any less smarter than anyone else. With everything that happens we learn and it makes us a stronger person. Being stupid is treating him the way he treats you, because you are weak enough to allow him to change you and alter your good ways. No one deserves to get that joy in seeing you become a bitter and hateful person.
You know how much you can take, you know what the good and the bad of your relationship is therefore, you will know when it is time to leave and it won't be any skin off your back, because you know that you did the best you could but unfortunatly the person you were with was not worthy of you. Someone else will come along and treat you the way you deserve 🙂
You can come on here and vent anytime you want, but don't make anyone make you feel dumb. We all go through these things and we all deal with them differently.
Live
Laugh
Learn
We are all human and we all go through things. It doesn't matter what anyone on here says about you or your relationship, only you know you whole story and therefore, the end result is only up to you.
After reading your posts, you sound like a very loving person who cares very deeply about people (maybe it's the Taurus Venus). There is nothing wrong with that and the ones that love the deepest are always the ones to get shiat on by other selfish people.
The good thing about you is that you will always have love and you will come across good and bad people that you will share it with but fortunatly they can never take your love away or change who you are inside.
You will be the winner in the end because he will never find someone else that will treat him the way you do and put up with his ways. Life is funny and karma hits us all. He will get away with this behaviour towards you but next time around someone will hit him 10 times harder.
You can smile to yourself then 🙂
We can sometimes take longer than others to finally end a bad relationship but it doesn't make us any less smarter than anyone else. With everything that happens we learn and it makes us a stronger person. Being stupid is treating him the way he treats you, because you are weak enough to allow him to change you and alter your good ways. No one deserves to get that joy in seeing you become a bitter and hateful person.
You know how much you can take, you know what the good and the bad of your relationship is therefore, you will know when it is time to leave and it won't be any skin off your back, because you know that you did the best you could but unfortunatly the person you were with was not worthy of you. Someone else will come along and treat you the way you deserve 🙂
You can come on here and vent anytime you want, but don't make anyone make you feel dumb. We all go through these things and we all deal with them differently.
Live
Laugh
Learn
thanks again for your words, taurus, firefly etc....they are helping me look outside myself as i feel sort of in a shocked state right now.
i still have not heard anything from him. it has been a week. i have forced myself to eat and my chest aches. it actually feels like my heart hurts. the biz meeting ended thursday. he brought his camera and i know he will be site seeing washington. i am just trying to think positive thoughts and believe he is just taking photos and taking in the sites instead of the extreme thoughts that he is out partying and screwing women he may of met online or in the bar.
leokitten, your writing style is direct and i do not take any offense to what you say. the fact that you are taking your time and showing concern means more than how you say what you say. its that fact that you care enough to help me through a very diffult time right now.
my time with this man has been an investment. usually when i dated i invested maybe 60% of myself. I would always be told by people i dated that they wanted all of me. i just couldn't give it. this man, is different. the moment i met him, i gave 100% . i totally trusted 100% knowing that my consequence could be the worst pain in my life if he betrayed me emotionally. i gave to him and i felt the same in return.
things just have gotten out of control....i don't want to make excuses. i am trying with all i have to figure out how to fix it with all your help. its like i invested all i have and i know that i will be left with nothing inside if this ends.
and leo......i dont; want to be a doormat. i will not kiss his a $ $ . i will try to give the benefit of the doubt, you know, innocent before proven guilty. my freind told me that i will know if when i see him if he betrayed me by being with another woman.
honestly, i know right now, that if he did that to me there would be no way i could be with him, no matter what. it will crush me and i will probably not have it in me to be with someone. i am afraid for myself. i know that if he wronged me i will never be who i am right now again. i will be changed forever and i will never trust another man. that scares me the most.
here i am. i am sorry for the picture being so big
i still have not heard anything from him. it has been a week. i have forced myself to eat and my chest aches. it actually feels like my heart hurts. the biz meeting ended thursday. he brought his camera and i know he will be site seeing washington. i am just trying to think positive thoughts and believe he is just taking photos and taking in the sites instead of the extreme thoughts that he is out partying and screwing women he may of met online or in the bar.
leokitten, your writing style is direct and i do not take any offense to what you say. the fact that you are taking your time and showing concern means more than how you say what you say. its that fact that you care enough to help me through a very diffult time right now.
my time with this man has been an investment. usually when i dated i invested maybe 60% of myself. I would always be told by people i dated that they wanted all of me. i just couldn't give it. this man, is different. the moment i met him, i gave 100% . i totally trusted 100% knowing that my consequence could be the worst pain in my life if he betrayed me emotionally. i gave to him and i felt the same in return.
things just have gotten out of control....i don't want to make excuses. i am trying with all i have to figure out how to fix it with all your help. its like i invested all i have and i know that i will be left with nothing inside if this ends.
and leo......i dont; want to be a doormat. i will not kiss his a $ $ . i will try to give the benefit of the doubt, you know, innocent before proven guilty. my freind told me that i will know if when i see him if he betrayed me by being with another woman.
honestly, i know right now, that if he did that to me there would be no way i could be with him, no matter what. it will crush me and i will probably not have it in me to be with someone. i am afraid for myself. i know that if he wronged me i will never be who i am right now again. i will be changed forever and i will never trust another man. that scares me the most.
here i am. i am sorry for the picture being so big
Cancer men are weird...
Like the other day, I talked to cancer dude and he told me he was going to a strip club since he can't get any sex (we live in separate cities, and he works 2 jobs until 12 midnight) so we don't get to see each other that much...
but I think that he told me that to get me jealous, but I simply told him "have fun"
BUT I know he is feeling me because he'll call me from work sometimes, or he will make it his business to tell me what he has been up to lately, and he's coming to my family's cookout tomorrow...
my point is cancers (some) have their shit with them, but I think, in my opinion, you would know for a fact that they care about you or not...
Like the other day, I talked to cancer dude and he told me he was going to a strip club since he can't get any sex (we live in separate cities, and he works 2 jobs until 12 midnight) so we don't get to see each other that much...
but I think that he told me that to get me jealous, but I simply told him "have fun"
BUT I know he is feeling me because he'll call me from work sometimes, or he will make it his business to tell me what he has been up to lately, and he's coming to my family's cookout tomorrow...
my point is cancers (some) have their shit with them, but I think, in my opinion, you would know for a fact that they care about you or not...
So Sinder are you angel blue?
Well Sinder I cannot say I have never been in your shoes. I can say reality is reality and I wouldn't even expect him to come back. I don't care how much a man will say that he wants a relaxed "EASY" going woman who will let him have his cake and eat it too, HE WANTS A CHALLENGE!
I know a Cancer alot of Cancer men and I talk to alot of men in general. Cancer man or not and most men want to work for you and your heart, it is not the other way around. They really don't want easy women who will do things seeking to "love" from them because if that is your purpose, he will resist you and not recieve love from him at all.
I don't know I guess women live and learn and they know the magic to what works and doesn't work with men. When you give something, just give from your heart. I think you are saying that you put 100% in this man and he gave you less than what you put into him. Well putting 100% into anyone but yourself (subconsciously whether you can realize it or not) will ONLY make you appear to a man or anyone is a person who doesn't fully love herself with a great lack of self esteem.
I am NOT telling you to move on with your life because I can testify that is easier said than done. I personally would move away from the situation and not EXPECT anything from him not even a phone call. He is running because he can sense that he is in relationship debt with you and the relationship is unbalanced. He probably doesn't want to leave you but he has NO choice. Just relax and let him come back to you and you just work on you and what you need to do to pick yourself up and be the best person you can be without SEEKING ANY MAN. YOU don't need a man to love you, YOU have YOU to love yourself and noboby can love you the way that you can.
He is aware that he is behaving badly. He is also aware that he can come back to you and probaly say a couple of sweet words hen he is back in the game. UM, nope, that just doesn't work with men. MOST MEN DON'T WANT you to let them come back with sweet talk, manipulation or for sexual purposes. Men actively seek women out who "WONT'T ALLOW" themselves to be taken advantage of by ANY man, let alone him.
ALL I can say is love yourself FIRST and the more you love you and you focus and center your life around you, alot of good things will start happening for you. No REAL man wants to be the center of your universe because he wants you to be the center of "his" universe.
Well Sinder I cannot say I have never been in your shoes. I can say reality is reality and I wouldn't even expect him to come back. I don't care how much a man will say that he wants a relaxed "EASY" going woman who will let him have his cake and eat it too, HE WANTS A CHALLENGE!
I know a Cancer alot of Cancer men and I talk to alot of men in general. Cancer man or not and most men want to work for you and your heart, it is not the other way around. They really don't want easy women who will do things seeking to "love" from them because if that is your purpose, he will resist you and not recieve love from him at all.
I don't know I guess women live and learn and they know the magic to what works and doesn't work with men. When you give something, just give from your heart. I think you are saying that you put 100% in this man and he gave you less than what you put into him. Well putting 100% into anyone but yourself (subconsciously whether you can realize it or not) will ONLY make you appear to a man or anyone is a person who doesn't fully love herself with a great lack of self esteem.
I am NOT telling you to move on with your life because I can testify that is easier said than done. I personally would move away from the situation and not EXPECT anything from him not even a phone call. He is running because he can sense that he is in relationship debt with you and the relationship is unbalanced. He probably doesn't want to leave you but he has NO choice. Just relax and let him come back to you and you just work on you and what you need to do to pick yourself up and be the best person you can be without SEEKING ANY MAN. YOU don't need a man to love you, YOU have YOU to love yourself and noboby can love you the way that you can.
He is aware that he is behaving badly. He is also aware that he can come back to you and probaly say a couple of sweet words hen he is back in the game. UM, nope, that just doesn't work with men. MOST MEN DON'T WANT you to let them come back with sweet talk, manipulation or for sexual purposes. Men actively seek women out who "WONT'T ALLOW" themselves to be taken advantage of by ANY man, let alone him.
ALL I can say is love yourself FIRST and the more you love you and you focus and center your life around you, alot of good things will start happening for you. No REAL man wants to be the center of your universe because he wants you to be the center of "his" universe.
krobe that is me
I do love myself but i seriously have strong feelings for this man. It was love at first site for the both of us.
i think we both have made many mistakes. my biggest fear is that he will have crossed the line and been with someone else out of being mad or to get me back. i hear people do that out if spite.
i love him from a very deep place. it feels very spiritaul. i don;t want to sound like gaundi or something but my love is pure and i never felt this feeling before. i do not desire anyone else.
if he breaks that physical bond, to me he will have broken a spiritual tie with me. Maybe because i am pisces sun, mars, moon, mercury etc... i am indeed highly spiritual when it comes to intimacy. I am just afraid because, i feel i will be damaged goods if this has happened.
I do love myself but i seriously have strong feelings for this man. It was love at first site for the both of us.
i think we both have made many mistakes. my biggest fear is that he will have crossed the line and been with someone else out of being mad or to get me back. i hear people do that out if spite.
i love him from a very deep place. it feels very spiritaul. i don;t want to sound like gaundi or something but my love is pure and i never felt this feeling before. i do not desire anyone else.
if he breaks that physical bond, to me he will have broken a spiritual tie with me. Maybe because i am pisces sun, mars, moon, mercury etc... i am indeed highly spiritual when it comes to intimacy. I am just afraid because, i feel i will be damaged goods if this has happened.
"in my experience, only us, personally, can open our eyes up. we can be told 1.000.000 times that chocolate is good but till we really try it, personally, we won't know."
FireFly, thank you! Only a smart person, or better yet... a human being would actually have enough sense to know this. Leo Kitten take note 😉
"but in a civilised society there are different ways of expressing your opinions and when you don't have all the elements to strictly judge a certain situation you may want to soften your tones."
:::: Claps hands and applauds Firefly :::
"many of the women who post here and elsewhere need some harsh reality...."
And may I ask who are you to apply this harsh reality? Please! You can intelligently.... let me say it again INTELLIGENTLY talk sense to someone without calling them stupid. Maybe you can give me the method to use for ignorant people like you Leo Kitten.
"i know that if he wronged me i will never be who i am right now again. i will be changed forever and i will never trust another man. that scares me the most."
Sinder, never let anyone allow you to do this, life goes on and people come and go.
"my point is cancers (some) have their shit with them, but I think, in my opinion, you would know for a fact that they care about you or not..."
Exactly! Some people are just a little harder to figure out and have more things in their lives to deal with that causes them to act the way they do to other people, but its not that they may actually do it to cause the other person hurt, it's just that it's the only way that they know how to treat someone because they too have been hurt. But people change and sometimes it just takes a good person that loves them and tries to understand them to make a difference.
"leokitten, your writing style is direct and i do not take any offense to what you say. the fact that you are taking your time and showing concern means more than how you say what you say. its that fact that you care enough to help me through a very diffult time right now."
Sinder, you're a good person but you need to indentify when someone is just being rude and is mocking your situation. People can be direct but when they care they don't say things like this: "right now she is on justification path central...making excuses...readying herself to accept his stupid explanation when he comes back...so she can take him back, compromise her own values and ...woah...get to still say she is in a relationship..."
FireFly, thank you! Only a smart person, or better yet... a human being would actually have enough sense to know this. Leo Kitten take note 😉
"but in a civilised society there are different ways of expressing your opinions and when you don't have all the elements to strictly judge a certain situation you may want to soften your tones."
:::: Claps hands and applauds Firefly :::
"many of the women who post here and elsewhere need some harsh reality...."
And may I ask who are you to apply this harsh reality? Please! You can intelligently.... let me say it again INTELLIGENTLY talk sense to someone without calling them stupid. Maybe you can give me the method to use for ignorant people like you Leo Kitten.
"i know that if he wronged me i will never be who i am right now again. i will be changed forever and i will never trust another man. that scares me the most."
Sinder, never let anyone allow you to do this, life goes on and people come and go.
"my point is cancers (some) have their shit with them, but I think, in my opinion, you would know for a fact that they care about you or not..."
Exactly! Some people are just a little harder to figure out and have more things in their lives to deal with that causes them to act the way they do to other people, but its not that they may actually do it to cause the other person hurt, it's just that it's the only way that they know how to treat someone because they too have been hurt. But people change and sometimes it just takes a good person that loves them and tries to understand them to make a difference.
"leokitten, your writing style is direct and i do not take any offense to what you say. the fact that you are taking your time and showing concern means more than how you say what you say. its that fact that you care enough to help me through a very diffult time right now."
Sinder, you're a good person but you need to indentify when someone is just being rude and is mocking your situation. People can be direct but when they care they don't say things like this: "right now she is on justification path central...making excuses...readying herself to accept his stupid explanation when he comes back...so she can take him back, compromise her own values and ...woah...get to still say she is in a relationship..."
taurus, i see your point about the last paragraph you wrote. That was a little rough.I
have still not heard from him. I went to a labor day party tonight and met people that actually live in washington dc. They said there are tons of things to see out there and perhaps he is just vacationing. he went last year and stayed for 9 days. no phone call or anything from him.
He could possibly be dead or in a car accident and i wouldnt' know it. One minute i am seething from such a display of ignorance on his part for not at least giving me a peice of mind. he knows I worry. I have had so many sudden losses and deaths to close people in my life that I fear losing those i love and care about. he knows this and it makes me sad to think he would not care.
I am thinking that he is sooooo mad and me that he wants me to get an idea of life without him or he is indeed hanging out with another woman since his phone is still dead, or he simply does not love me anymore or care at all or he is doing this to make me so mad that i part from his life so he doesn;t have to be the one to officially cause the separation.
have still not heard from him. I went to a labor day party tonight and met people that actually live in washington dc. They said there are tons of things to see out there and perhaps he is just vacationing. he went last year and stayed for 9 days. no phone call or anything from him.
He could possibly be dead or in a car accident and i wouldnt' know it. One minute i am seething from such a display of ignorance on his part for not at least giving me a peice of mind. he knows I worry. I have had so many sudden losses and deaths to close people in my life that I fear losing those i love and care about. he knows this and it makes me sad to think he would not care.
I am thinking that he is sooooo mad and me that he wants me to get an idea of life without him or he is indeed hanging out with another woman since his phone is still dead, or he simply does not love me anymore or care at all or he is doing this to make me so mad that i part from his life so he doesn;t have to be the one to officially cause the separation.
Sinder,
Although you may not understand it, Cancers tend to do this alot. They back off when they are upset, some say it is a part of their "shelling". I understand that you worry alot, but try hard to relax and allow him to take his space. It will probably work out in the end where he had time to clear his mind and is able to think things through and realise where he went wrong with you. We all need our space and no matter how great the relationship is, being around someone 24/7 can be unhealthy.
Take this time to do the things that you love the most, things that you probably won't do when he is around. Clean house, clear out things that are cluttering your space, do a scrap book, drink coffee at a cafe by yourself (New York style 😉 ) go to the library, go window shopping, feed the birds, try to clear your mind. Try to make the best out of the negative, find strength by getting over your fears of being alone and losing those close to you.
I am sure he is fine, or you would have heard already. I don't think he would go that far to be with another woman. He could just do it where he lives. He is probably site seeing and taking in a different scene. That's why when he comes back, your mind should be calm and relaxed, showing him that your life does not revolve around him and you can actually "live" without him. I bet he will be surprised when you're all calm and carefree when he comes back. Your mood will most like affect his reaction when he is back. If you're calm, you'll probably get a better response in which he'll open up and voice his feelings, but if you stress him out and shout at him, he'll most likely back off again.
I understand that you have a great love for this man, but you cannot allow him to make you or break you.
Although you may not understand it, Cancers tend to do this alot. They back off when they are upset, some say it is a part of their "shelling". I understand that you worry alot, but try hard to relax and allow him to take his space. It will probably work out in the end where he had time to clear his mind and is able to think things through and realise where he went wrong with you. We all need our space and no matter how great the relationship is, being around someone 24/7 can be unhealthy.
Take this time to do the things that you love the most, things that you probably won't do when he is around. Clean house, clear out things that are cluttering your space, do a scrap book, drink coffee at a cafe by yourself (New York style 😉 ) go to the library, go window shopping, feed the birds, try to clear your mind. Try to make the best out of the negative, find strength by getting over your fears of being alone and losing those close to you.
I am sure he is fine, or you would have heard already. I don't think he would go that far to be with another woman. He could just do it where he lives. He is probably site seeing and taking in a different scene. That's why when he comes back, your mind should be calm and relaxed, showing him that your life does not revolve around him and you can actually "live" without him. I bet he will be surprised when you're all calm and carefree when he comes back. Your mood will most like affect his reaction when he is back. If you're calm, you'll probably get a better response in which he'll open up and voice his feelings, but if you stress him out and shout at him, he'll most likely back off again.
I understand that you have a great love for this man, but you cannot allow him to make you or break you.
taurus, thanks for your advice, i have been cleaning a lot...............
so you think that being away (10 days now) without any communication is normal for a cancer when he is stressed and upset? That is hard to understand but if that is there nature then i have no choice than to just accept that major difference between us.
I am a problem solver type. i dont like to fester in a problem or run away, i like to nip it in the bud and find solutions before it is out of control or misinterpreted because of a lack of communication. but that is my personality and another may not understand me.
the only reason i think he may cheat on my is the fact that i know he works 6 days a week here, its all guys in his office and he is home every night.
this is the first time that he met his freinds from work to make the trip early to be there saturday night instead of monday then the biz meeting started. all these guys are in their 20-30's and single btw. so since he works so much he never goes out, he is a computer geek and always has his computer with him but he locked it up in a closet and i opened the lock (looking for info on where he might be staying so i could at least czll the hotel to know he dead or alive). this is the firat time i ever knew him to not have it with him. then the fact that he didn't bring his phone charger so the phone is dead. he has another phone ( i dont know the number) that is said he uses to do is side photography biz) he could have called me.
so he really does not have time to do anything here with anybody because his time is taken up so much with work plus he drives far too and from work.
this is why i find it odd that the meeting was over this past thursday, he has no phone, no computer . i can see if he is siteseeing washington during the day but what can a single guy do alone at night? this makes me wonder......if he cheats on me i will be sick. i know i would try to be strong but it would be so hard. i know i couldnt stay with him and that would be the ultimate insult to run away, leave me worried and then be with another woman..
he has a venus gemini and a leo mars as well as a sag moon. people who know astrology keep telling me that they are very flirtatious placements and that he can hide it well because he is a cancer sun and asc. i think this is playing a major underlying factor is a lot of my worry.
I have lost 5 pounds now,,,,that is the only good thing that i have experiened since this argument and
so you think that being away (10 days now) without any communication is normal for a cancer when he is stressed and upset? That is hard to understand but if that is there nature then i have no choice than to just accept that major difference between us.
I am a problem solver type. i dont like to fester in a problem or run away, i like to nip it in the bud and find solutions before it is out of control or misinterpreted because of a lack of communication. but that is my personality and another may not understand me.
the only reason i think he may cheat on my is the fact that i know he works 6 days a week here, its all guys in his office and he is home every night.
this is the first time that he met his freinds from work to make the trip early to be there saturday night instead of monday then the biz meeting started. all these guys are in their 20-30's and single btw. so since he works so much he never goes out, he is a computer geek and always has his computer with him but he locked it up in a closet and i opened the lock (looking for info on where he might be staying so i could at least czll the hotel to know he dead or alive). this is the firat time i ever knew him to not have it with him. then the fact that he didn't bring his phone charger so the phone is dead. he has another phone ( i dont know the number) that is said he uses to do is side photography biz) he could have called me.
so he really does not have time to do anything here with anybody because his time is taken up so much with work plus he drives far too and from work.
this is why i find it odd that the meeting was over this past thursday, he has no phone, no computer . i can see if he is siteseeing washington during the day but what can a single guy do alone at night? this makes me wonder......if he cheats on me i will be sick. i know i would try to be strong but it would be so hard. i know i couldnt stay with him and that would be the ultimate insult to run away, leave me worried and then be with another woman..
he has a venus gemini and a leo mars as well as a sag moon. people who know astrology keep telling me that they are very flirtatious placements and that he can hide it well because he is a cancer sun and asc. i think this is playing a major underlying factor is a lot of my worry.
I have lost 5 pounds now,,,,that is the only good thing that i have experiened since this argument and
"so you think that being away (10 days now) without any communication is normal for a cancer when he is stressed and upset?"
Oh yeah! And they will come back around when they're ready not when you push them to.
"I am a problem solver type. i dont like to fester in a problem or run away, i like to nip it in the bud and find solutions before it is out of control or misinterpreted because of a lack of communication."
I am alot like this as well but sometimes you just have to let things go and make them resolve on their own. Eventually things will fall into place and trying too hard to solve them can sometimes make more of a mess.
He's a guy and he's now around alot of other guys, and they will look at other women, but it doesn't mean that your guy will go to the extreme and cheat. Men are men, but alot of men have more respect for themselves and their health to just have sex with a complete stranger that they nothing about. My Cancer guy told me that, he said it would make him sick to just have a one night stand with someone who he doesn't know, in which he'd be thinking about her health how many guys she's been with etc... so maybe your guy is like this too.
"he has a venus gemini and a leo mars as well as a sag moon."
Explains alot. He has alot of fire in his chart. Sagi moon could contradict his Cancer traits. Leo and Gemini could influence flirting, coldness, dislike for commitment etc... He could be a difficult one. But I am sure when he is ready to settle down, you'll know.
Oh yeah! And they will come back around when they're ready not when you push them to.
"I am a problem solver type. i dont like to fester in a problem or run away, i like to nip it in the bud and find solutions before it is out of control or misinterpreted because of a lack of communication."
I am alot like this as well but sometimes you just have to let things go and make them resolve on their own. Eventually things will fall into place and trying too hard to solve them can sometimes make more of a mess.
He's a guy and he's now around alot of other guys, and they will look at other women, but it doesn't mean that your guy will go to the extreme and cheat. Men are men, but alot of men have more respect for themselves and their health to just have sex with a complete stranger that they nothing about. My Cancer guy told me that, he said it would make him sick to just have a one night stand with someone who he doesn't know, in which he'd be thinking about her health how many guys she's been with etc... so maybe your guy is like this too.
"he has a venus gemini and a leo mars as well as a sag moon."
Explains alot. He has alot of fire in his chart. Sagi moon could contradict his Cancer traits. Leo and Gemini could influence flirting, coldness, dislike for commitment etc... He could be a difficult one. But I am sure when he is ready to settle down, you'll know.
lady taurus....
I hope you are enjoying your holiday weekend. it is beautiful here where i am.
I have seen the way he flirts with women on line. One time when we got into a fight and we broke up (you know for the 78th time) he went online and was flirting on a network site. I mean we say we are broke up but it really doesn't happen. anyway, he told the girl that was into photography and was hinting around about getting pics taken to drum up biz..anyway, i understood that, but she made the comment that he was cute and if he had a girlfriend, well he told her in these exact words. "me got dumped today" He doesn't normally talk that way but the girl was only 21. He is 34. He is highly intelligent and has about 1000 books on his shelves that i know he has read. anyhow, he says he has nothng to do and asked for her phone number. says that he will slhow her his portfolio. He told her other info like the area he works and lives as well as the fact that he just likes to get out of town for the weekend.
maybe its innocent—?that he really just wants to promote his work, or on the worst side he is the cheating type when given the opportunity, I dont' know if its just me, but i was thinking that he was telling her he likes to go away for teh weekend to hint aroung that she might want to go to. I was just very disturbed that he would be so personal with a stranger online after a "breakup" that was only 2 hours before.
He said that i am being paranoid and he thought it was a setup of some sort...
I hope you are enjoying your holiday weekend. it is beautiful here where i am.
I have seen the way he flirts with women on line. One time when we got into a fight and we broke up (you know for the 78th time) he went online and was flirting on a network site. I mean we say we are broke up but it really doesn't happen. anyway, he told the girl that was into photography and was hinting around about getting pics taken to drum up biz..anyway, i understood that, but she made the comment that he was cute and if he had a girlfriend, well he told her in these exact words. "me got dumped today" He doesn't normally talk that way but the girl was only 21. He is 34. He is highly intelligent and has about 1000 books on his shelves that i know he has read. anyhow, he says he has nothng to do and asked for her phone number. says that he will slhow her his portfolio. He told her other info like the area he works and lives as well as the fact that he just likes to get out of town for the weekend.
maybe its innocent—?that he really just wants to promote his work, or on the worst side he is the cheating type when given the opportunity, I dont' know if its just me, but i was thinking that he was telling her he likes to go away for teh weekend to hint aroung that she might want to go to. I was just very disturbed that he would be so personal with a stranger online after a "breakup" that was only 2 hours before.
He said that i am being paranoid and he thought it was a setup of some sort...
I know flirting and cheating is alot more than a person's astrological sign. But keeping in mind that he is a Cancer he could be just trying to get your attention, because they are only forward with people they don't have interest in to avoid rejection from that person, and with the people they like, they are more shy. However, if he is doing all this in front of your face, it is just disrespectful.
My Cancer guy has his own IT and electronics business where he sells the latest gadgets from an online source, therefore, he adds alot of people on his MySpace and FaceBook to send them flyers to advertise for more business. He explained this to me from the beginning and I understood the purpose of him having people appropriately emailing him and commenting on is page. He would keep friendly with the people so that he could maintain a large clientele, women included.
Because it was explained to me, I understand the situation. However, I have never seen him directly flirt with another woman online, although I have seen him talk on messenger with them but mostly to answer queries about the products. I do not invade his personal space and I do not ask questions. The less I seem to care the more open and honest he is with me about the people he talks to.
I think you are giving this guy too much attention, he is feeding off of your insecurities and it seems as though he is getting a kick out of seeing you jealous. It may be hard but I would act like it doesn't bother you. By doing this, you will find out what his main purpose of talking to those girls is, allowing him to be more open instead of being shouted at and the fear of you ending up upset. He may feel smothered. Just let him be, and let him be him and you be you. You need to take a step back and truly evaluate the situation to determine his true feelings.
My Cancer guy has his own IT and electronics business where he sells the latest gadgets from an online source, therefore, he adds alot of people on his MySpace and FaceBook to send them flyers to advertise for more business. He explained this to me from the beginning and I understood the purpose of him having people appropriately emailing him and commenting on is page. He would keep friendly with the people so that he could maintain a large clientele, women included.
Because it was explained to me, I understand the situation. However, I have never seen him directly flirt with another woman online, although I have seen him talk on messenger with them but mostly to answer queries about the products. I do not invade his personal space and I do not ask questions. The less I seem to care the more open and honest he is with me about the people he talks to.
I think you are giving this guy too much attention, he is feeding off of your insecurities and it seems as though he is getting a kick out of seeing you jealous. It may be hard but I would act like it doesn't bother you. By doing this, you will find out what his main purpose of talking to those girls is, allowing him to be more open instead of being shouted at and the fear of you ending up upset. He may feel smothered. Just let him be, and let him be him and you be you. You need to take a step back and truly evaluate the situation to determine his true feelings.
"IT IS NOT NORMAL. AT ALL. DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES."
What can she do? Have you read how she feels about the guy? She can't just shut off her feelings. I can't, you can't and she can't. I am not telling her to allow him to disrespect her, cheat on her or anything else that is bad. But what she need is someone's point a view to see other angles of her situation to better determine what to do.
So what should she do LK?
Do you think you calling her stupid, pathetic and dumb is going to help her?
WHAT SHOULD SHE DO?!!!!!!
You make me so dayum angry because you think that people's feeling are like a rock on the road that can just be kicked around. There are other ways of trying to understand someone.
She walks away, but yet she is still unhappy, feels like she wants to commit suicide or something.
WHAT DOES SHE DO?!!!!!
Nobody can justify someone else's behaviour by just narrowing it down to one thing. That is not being realistic, so therefore every situation requires different methods of trying to get through to that person.
Look beyond the LEO mentality and try to relate to her in a humane way. I am so sick... sick and tired of you coming on here and bashing people. Nobody is like you and they certainly don't deal with things like you. Everyone has feelings and they have different tolerance levels. I am not misleading her, because I am telling her to take time for her self, step back, try to figure it out.
Since you are so smart and so full of it tell her what to do!!!!!
Tell her what to do to stop her pain, get her to eat, get her to move on in 2 seconds. TELL HER! Take her pain away! Can you do that?! NO YOU CAN'T! No matter what you say she will still feel the same. She knows her situation she knows she is being treated badly and she doesn't like it. But you seem to know the cure for all women. WELL MAKE HER FEEL BETTER! MAKE HIM WANT HER AND TREAT HER RIGHT! Just do it! You know it all.
What can she do? Have you read how she feels about the guy? She can't just shut off her feelings. I can't, you can't and she can't. I am not telling her to allow him to disrespect her, cheat on her or anything else that is bad. But what she need is someone's point a view to see other angles of her situation to better determine what to do.
So what should she do LK?
Do you think you calling her stupid, pathetic and dumb is going to help her?
WHAT SHOULD SHE DO?!!!!!!
You make me so dayum angry because you think that people's feeling are like a rock on the road that can just be kicked around. There are other ways of trying to understand someone.
She walks away, but yet she is still unhappy, feels like she wants to commit suicide or something.
WHAT DOES SHE DO?!!!!!
Nobody can justify someone else's behaviour by just narrowing it down to one thing. That is not being realistic, so therefore every situation requires different methods of trying to get through to that person.
Look beyond the LEO mentality and try to relate to her in a humane way. I am so sick... sick and tired of you coming on here and bashing people. Nobody is like you and they certainly don't deal with things like you. Everyone has feelings and they have different tolerance levels. I am not misleading her, because I am telling her to take time for her self, step back, try to figure it out.
Since you are so smart and so full of it tell her what to do!!!!!
Tell her what to do to stop her pain, get her to eat, get her to move on in 2 seconds. TELL HER! Take her pain away! Can you do that?! NO YOU CAN'T! No matter what you say she will still feel the same. She knows her situation she knows she is being treated badly and she doesn't like it. But you seem to know the cure for all women. WELL MAKE HER FEEL BETTER! MAKE HIM WANT HER AND TREAT HER RIGHT! Just do it! You know it all.
i am at his house now and he is not home. i don't know if he has taken off the next week of work maybe and will be gone for another week, who knows? he is not from this state so i do not know any of his freinds, they don't know me. nobody knows where he is staying. he doesn't talk to his parents, they dont' know me either. he doesn't have a landline phone to ask anybody anything if they should call. his computer is locked up so i couldn't go on their to find any info on his whereabouts even if i wanted to.
the people that he met to go to washington with have already come home by friday morning. nobody knows where he is.
i have no idea if he is alive or dead. i am starting to get weirded out by all of this now, this is a long time to be gone without any coorespondence. He was having problems with his breaks when he left and did not have time to get them looked at, i feel sick.,
i am going to stay the night here and hope he comes home. if he is not home by morning, i will try calling his work, I don't know if i should presume he is in a hospital somewhere or dead or what., at this point, i am just numb, this is crazy.
the people that he met to go to washington with have already come home by friday morning. nobody knows where he is.
i have no idea if he is alive or dead. i am starting to get weirded out by all of this now, this is a long time to be gone without any coorespondence. He was having problems with his breaks when he left and did not have time to get them looked at, i feel sick.,
i am going to stay the night here and hope he comes home. if he is not home by morning, i will try calling his work, I don't know if i should presume he is in a hospital somewhere or dead or what., at this point, i am just numb, this is crazy.
"has your guy ever been actively engaged in underage porn as part of his job...cause sinder's guy is. is that acceptable?"
I have not read this in any of her threads and just because she stated photography? it doesn't mean what you are implying. Acceptable is what she finds acceptable. Not what anyone else sees acceptable, I am sure I would not approve of something about your guy. But hey who am I? That's why we are different!
LK I have never heard you say anything good to anyone, you always look at things in a negative way. You can't get past the fact that even if someone is your family, you can't make up their mind. You won't be able to make up your own child's mind; they will eventually rebel against your logics in some way.
You need to shut your dyum mouth and stop disrespecting people in here! The Bull in me is about to come out and I can get real nasty... so you better just get your feline claws out of my dayum skin cause I'm about to send your arse flying.
I have not read this in any of her threads and just because she stated photography? it doesn't mean what you are implying. Acceptable is what she finds acceptable. Not what anyone else sees acceptable, I am sure I would not approve of something about your guy. But hey who am I? That's why we are different!
LK I have never heard you say anything good to anyone, you always look at things in a negative way. You can't get past the fact that even if someone is your family, you can't make up their mind. You won't be able to make up your own child's mind; they will eventually rebel against your logics in some way.
You need to shut your dyum mouth and stop disrespecting people in here! The Bull in me is about to come out and I can get real nasty... so you better just get your feline claws out of my dayum skin cause I'm about to send your arse flying.
"in a nutshell...she should live through the break-up."
LK! Girl! You need a slap! I'll excuse you because it's obvious that something is not right in your head. No actually! I got it now you are just a computer... yeah that's it. No emotions, no heart, no feelings, just an effing computer that has gone completely berserk and is attacking people with real life situations.
I need something to calm me down cause if I could, I would climb through my computer and unplug your arse.
"oh jesus. you are broken into a mans house now..."
Did she say she broke in?
"staying at his house and going through his stuff is insane."
Did she say that she was going through his stuff?
Does your hardware only reply, because it seems as though it can't read. You must be a typewriter then.
LK! Girl! You need a slap! I'll excuse you because it's obvious that something is not right in your head. No actually! I got it now you are just a computer... yeah that's it. No emotions, no heart, no feelings, just an effing computer that has gone completely berserk and is attacking people with real life situations.
I need something to calm me down cause if I could, I would climb through my computer and unplug your arse.
"oh jesus. you are broken into a mans house now..."
Did she say she broke in?
"staying at his house and going through his stuff is insane."
Did she say that she was going through his stuff?
Does your hardware only reply, because it seems as though it can't read. You must be a typewriter then.
LK I have things that I deal with in my life and when I am dealing with them I withdraw from people, boyfriend included. I lock myself into my house, cry, read, pray and keep to myself. I deal with my problems on my own and it will take me as long as I want. 10 days is nothing for me to not speak to the person that I am with, hell, I wouldn't even speak to my own mother for longer than that. When I am ready I come back around with a clear head.
PEOPLE DEAL WITH THINGS DIFFERENTLY!
We know half of the story. We don't know if she caused him to back off. His story could be completely different from hers, so how can we relate to just one side and give him all the blame?
Give me a break! Download some common sense and logic and get over yourself. You are filled with hate! And you can only relate to people by giving them your way of dealing with things. You get some self-respect and stop trying to put people down.
Can you sleep well at night when you tell someone to "get over it", "get a life" when they are hurt?
Girl! Grow some brains! You are neither smart nor valued.
PEOPLE DEAL WITH THINGS DIFFERENTLY!
We know half of the story. We don't know if she caused him to back off. His story could be completely different from hers, so how can we relate to just one side and give him all the blame?
Give me a break! Download some common sense and logic and get over yourself. You are filled with hate! And you can only relate to people by giving them your way of dealing with things. You get some self-respect and stop trying to put people down.
Can you sleep well at night when you tell someone to "get over it", "get a life" when they are hurt?
Girl! Grow some brains! You are neither smart nor valued.
Sinder,
Listen to LK. She has the remedy for your heart break. She can provide you with the right medicine. DR. KILL PATIENT IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!
She will make all your sadness go away with her harsh words, she will show you how to shut off your feelings and shun someone you care about in a flash. LISTEN TO HER! She has the perfect relationship with a Cancer guy that is hypnotised by her alluring ways. He listens to her demands, he is sumissive to her controlling ways, his life is hers, he cannot feel nor can he react. LISTEN TO HER!
Listen to LK. She has the remedy for your heart break. She can provide you with the right medicine. DR. KILL PATIENT IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!
She will make all your sadness go away with her harsh words, she will show you how to shut off your feelings and shun someone you care about in a flash. LISTEN TO HER! She has the perfect relationship with a Cancer guy that is hypnotised by her alluring ways. He listens to her demands, he is sumissive to her controlling ways, his life is hers, he cannot feel nor can he react. LISTEN TO HER!
LK: "try some reading comprehenshion ok."
How about: Trying at some writing comprehension. Ok?
Typical moron. Pointing out someone's faults but completely blind to theirs.
How about: Trying at some writing comprehension. Ok?
Typical moron. Pointing out someone's faults but completely blind to theirs.
SO the points are clear...
I didn't break in, I have a key, he even asked me to water the plants before he left and so I have a key to do that. I was just so angry with him that he wouldnt' tell me where he was staying or when he would be back that i said no i wouldnt' care for them. Of course i came over though, I bought him some of these plants i dont' want to see them die.
I am not going through his stuff, there is really nothing to go thru, if there was something here that would give me peace of mind i wouldn't feel so upset and confused right now.
He doesn't talk to his parents because they home schooled him when he was young on a farm away from everyone. he cant stand them. he says they are very controlling and when he got a job they forced him to stay home until he was 27 and pay rent and maintain the farm on the weekends (he is a computer geek guy, no where near a farm kind of guy) they threatened to disown him. one day he just left and took his brother with him. they couldn't take it anymore. so they don't talk or associate with him. he just moved and doesnt want them to know where he lives because they will hound him.
I was very rough in my actions before he left, I was so frustrated though because he wasnt; talking to me. I felt like i was going to blow up. he said i can trust you here, right. i said where are you going? he said none of your business and i said well you can't trust me then.
those were some of our last words, very frustrating, very heated, he left very suddenly, i didnt think he was going until the next day. i had just woke up and was only up a half hour with 2 1/2 hours sleep. so i have been frustrated and confused ever since that morning. i have no where to vent and have gone through so many emotions that i didn't know some of these emotions exist, but now i am worried. this is either very cruel to leave me hanging, or he is very self centered or he has been with someone else or he is in the hospital or dead.
I didn't break in, I have a key, he even asked me to water the plants before he left and so I have a key to do that. I was just so angry with him that he wouldnt' tell me where he was staying or when he would be back that i said no i wouldnt' care for them. Of course i came over though, I bought him some of these plants i dont' want to see them die.
I am not going through his stuff, there is really nothing to go thru, if there was something here that would give me peace of mind i wouldn't feel so upset and confused right now.
He doesn't talk to his parents because they home schooled him when he was young on a farm away from everyone. he cant stand them. he says they are very controlling and when he got a job they forced him to stay home until he was 27 and pay rent and maintain the farm on the weekends (he is a computer geek guy, no where near a farm kind of guy) they threatened to disown him. one day he just left and took his brother with him. they couldn't take it anymore. so they don't talk or associate with him. he just moved and doesnt want them to know where he lives because they will hound him.
I was very rough in my actions before he left, I was so frustrated though because he wasnt; talking to me. I felt like i was going to blow up. he said i can trust you here, right. i said where are you going? he said none of your business and i said well you can't trust me then.
those were some of our last words, very frustrating, very heated, he left very suddenly, i didnt think he was going until the next day. i had just woke up and was only up a half hour with 2 1/2 hours sleep. so i have been frustrated and confused ever since that morning. i have no where to vent and have gone through so many emotions that i didn't know some of these emotions exist, but now i am worried. this is either very cruel to leave me hanging, or he is very self centered or he has been with someone else or he is in the hospital or dead.
LK: "you are broken into a mans house now"
Sinder: "I didn't break in, I have a key,"
LK: "and why after TWO YEARS...do his parents not know you?"
Sinder: "He doesn't talk to his parents because they home schooled him when he was young on a farm away from everyone. he cant stand them."
LK: "staying at his house and going through his stuff is insane."
Sinder: "I am not going through his stuff, there is really nothing to go thru?
LK: "let the plants die."
Sinder: "I bought him some of these plants i dont' want to see them die."
Sinder I rest my case about LK. She is not posting to give you advice nor to help your situation. This is not about you! She is trying to show you up, running her mouth and pointing her finger. I bet it makes her feel good to be able to think that she is "Queen" up in here. "Empty barrels make alot of noise." LK you are being very loud right now 😉 and your PC brain is over heating again, you are being delusional and seeing things that are not there. You are making accusations about things that are no so. Go into hibernation and come back tomorrow, everything will be clearer then.
Sinder: "I didn't break in, I have a key,"
LK: "and why after TWO YEARS...do his parents not know you?"
Sinder: "He doesn't talk to his parents because they home schooled him when he was young on a farm away from everyone. he cant stand them."
LK: "staying at his house and going through his stuff is insane."
Sinder: "I am not going through his stuff, there is really nothing to go thru?
LK: "let the plants die."
Sinder: "I bought him some of these plants i dont' want to see them die."
Sinder I rest my case about LK. She is not posting to give you advice nor to help your situation. This is not about you! She is trying to show you up, running her mouth and pointing her finger. I bet it makes her feel good to be able to think that she is "Queen" up in here. "Empty barrels make alot of noise." LK you are being very loud right now 😉 and your PC brain is over heating again, you are being delusional and seeing things that are not there. You are making accusations about things that are no so. Go into hibernation and come back tomorrow, everything will be clearer then.
"but if my guy decided to ignore my ass so rudely for so long...it would be over in a second."
I am sure! And just walk away like that? Never be with him again? Cut him loose forever?
GIVE ME A BREAK! Then you have no real relationship and he means nothing to you, so you might as well just end it now.
I am sure! And just walk away like that? Never be with him again? Cut him loose forever?
GIVE ME A BREAK! Then you have no real relationship and he means nothing to you, so you might as well just end it now.
I am not doing anything bad here. I am just waiting to see if he comes back since the holiday weekend is over as of today and usually work starts back tomorrow. i am thinking he has to come back for work?
I am trying my best to not let my mind race and have a breakdown. i appreciate that i have somebody here to talk to. I dont' really know anyone in this town, he is my best freind as well. I had a really good freind but they died and like i said my parent both died young and sudden., my mom died on my birthday and my dad just died two years ago. we buried him on the anniversary of 911. my little brother just died this year and he was buried on valentines day. like i said there was a person that i was engaged to years ago and i waited for him to get out of the service, he came home and was suddenly killed before we could see each other, we bought a small house and everything. i just am so tired of painful situations all clumped together.
i really am having a problem eating, i keep eating crackers when my side starts to hurt from hunger pain and have been taking aleve. i am probably becoming a little irrational in my thinking because of not eating right and being this upset.
i sincerely do appreciate this conversation it is helping me keep my head on a little straighter.
I am trying my best to not let my mind race and have a breakdown. i appreciate that i have somebody here to talk to. I dont' really know anyone in this town, he is my best freind as well. I had a really good freind but they died and like i said my parent both died young and sudden., my mom died on my birthday and my dad just died two years ago. we buried him on the anniversary of 911. my little brother just died this year and he was buried on valentines day. like i said there was a person that i was engaged to years ago and i waited for him to get out of the service, he came home and was suddenly killed before we could see each other, we bought a small house and everything. i just am so tired of painful situations all clumped together.
i really am having a problem eating, i keep eating crackers when my side starts to hurt from hunger pain and have been taking aleve. i am probably becoming a little irrational in my thinking because of not eating right and being this upset.
i sincerely do appreciate this conversation it is helping me keep my head on a little straighter.
Sinder, I am very sorry about your losses and I feel really bad that you're being battered by LK. You can always private message me. You are hurting and no one should tell you to just drop your feelings.
""You need to shut your dyum mouth and stop disrespecting people in here! The Bull in me is about to come out and I can get real nasty... so you better just get your feline claws out of my dayum skin cause I'm about to send your arse flying.""
lol
now THAT'S ^ what i call comedy.
lol @ kittenhead
lol
now THAT'S ^ what i call comedy.
lol @ kittenhead
i don't want to be away from him forever, i truely love him and if this is just something where he needs space, thats ok, we have been disagreeing about the photo biz thing. its just the way the is going about this..., its inconsiderate even if its suppose to be considered a cancer hiding in the shell trait.
this is just going on too long........10 days nothing heard from him yet.
I am here hoping he makes it home from this holiday weekend. if he does not come home i will call his work tommorrow. if he isn't there then i will be seriously worried that he had an accident or something,. there is NO way of knowing that at this point.
I can't just walk away and just assume he is doing this to desert me. He mentioned to me that cancers need space and i need to understand that. was that a warning of this coming? i don't know for sure.
if he does not love me if or when he comes back then i will walk away. i will be devastated but there would be no choice. who knows though, he might come back and
by then this numbness and worry will lift and i will think is was a bastard for doing this and not want him., i am just too confused and hurt right now to understand this.
this is just going on too long........10 days nothing heard from him yet.
I am here hoping he makes it home from this holiday weekend. if he does not come home i will call his work tommorrow. if he isn't there then i will be seriously worried that he had an accident or something,. there is NO way of knowing that at this point.
I can't just walk away and just assume he is doing this to desert me. He mentioned to me that cancers need space and i need to understand that. was that a warning of this coming? i don't know for sure.
if he does not love me if or when he comes back then i will walk away. i will be devastated but there would be no choice. who knows though, he might come back and
by then this numbness and worry will lift and i will think is was a bastard for doing this and not want him., i am just too confused and hurt right now to understand this.
"the mark of an independent person is to know when to walk away when disrespected."
What does independence have to do with someone trying to make a relationship work?
You could have everything in the world, be with someone that has issues and stick with them because you see more than the bad behaviour that they display.
This is not an issue of independence.... so pull another card!
Obviously, there is a connection between the 2, but he just has so much other past issues that he doesn't feel like he should be held accountable for his bad behaviour.
What does independence have to do with someone trying to make a relationship work?
You could have everything in the world, be with someone that has issues and stick with them because you see more than the bad behaviour that they display.
This is not an issue of independence.... so pull another card!
Obviously, there is a connection between the 2, but he just has so much other past issues that he doesn't feel like he should be held accountable for his bad behaviour.
Let me tell you a story LK,
I have a cousin who is a Taurus. She met a Cancer, in the beginning she played the usual game of the woman playing hard to get. She wouldn't call him, she waited for him to call, she didn't make him her life, she just went with the flow. He showed interest, he called and sometimes he wouldn't, but she didn't sweat it. She slept with other men while still being with the Cancer and she felt like on top of the world. Until it all came crashing down.
The Cancer got enough of her shiat. He felt like she showed him nothing. So he left her. The tables turned. She started chasing him, calling him, trying to make mends. However, it was wasted time. He felt like she should have showed him this from the beginning.
To make a long story short, eventually he took her back, but the relationship was never the same. They ended being in a very unhappy relationship for 6 years in which she had no control over. She got pregnant, he kicked her out. Now she is still fighting for him to be in both her and her child's life. But every time he gets close he backs off in fear of being abused by her again.
She would beg and cry and plead with him to just be the same way he was. You know what he told her? "For once, I had hopes that someone would love me and show me how much they cared, put up with my moods and take me as I am. Someone that I could finally decide to marry. But unfortunately, all you women are the same, not worth more than just a moment."
She later found out that he was abused as a child, his father abandoned him and he had many other issues.
Moral of the story.
People go through things that harden their hearts; they put up a front and act badly. No matter how long you have known that person, if you don't take the time to understand and listen you may never uncover their problems and therefore will never allow them to feel comfortable enough to truly let go and love. But one person, just one, could make a difference in their lives, prove them wrong that everyone is not the same, accept them for who they are and try to understand the root of their behavior. It doesn't make someone stupid to actually love someone. And everyone deserves to be loved.
He is not beating her and abusing her, so there are worst things that could happen than actually taking space.
I have a cousin who is a Taurus. She met a Cancer, in the beginning she played the usual game of the woman playing hard to get. She wouldn't call him, she waited for him to call, she didn't make him her life, she just went with the flow. He showed interest, he called and sometimes he wouldn't, but she didn't sweat it. She slept with other men while still being with the Cancer and she felt like on top of the world. Until it all came crashing down.
The Cancer got enough of her shiat. He felt like she showed him nothing. So he left her. The tables turned. She started chasing him, calling him, trying to make mends. However, it was wasted time. He felt like she should have showed him this from the beginning.
To make a long story short, eventually he took her back, but the relationship was never the same. They ended being in a very unhappy relationship for 6 years in which she had no control over. She got pregnant, he kicked her out. Now she is still fighting for him to be in both her and her child's life. But every time he gets close he backs off in fear of being abused by her again.
She would beg and cry and plead with him to just be the same way he was. You know what he told her? "For once, I had hopes that someone would love me and show me how much they cared, put up with my moods and take me as I am. Someone that I could finally decide to marry. But unfortunately, all you women are the same, not worth more than just a moment."
She later found out that he was abused as a child, his father abandoned him and he had many other issues.
Moral of the story.
People go through things that harden their hearts; they put up a front and act badly. No matter how long you have known that person, if you don't take the time to understand and listen you may never uncover their problems and therefore will never allow them to feel comfortable enough to truly let go and love. But one person, just one, could make a difference in their lives, prove them wrong that everyone is not the same, accept them for who they are and try to understand the root of their behavior. It doesn't make someone stupid to actually love someone. And everyone deserves to be loved.
He is not beating her and abusing her, so there are worst things that could happen than actually taking space.
Firefly, I agree with everything you posted and it is very uplifting to know that there are actually good people out there who can embrace those that needs someone.
"once your stomach is full, your mind will see better and your heart will feel restored."
Yes!!!! Please eat Sinder.
"you are not a machine... like somebody else, right Lady Taurus?"
LOL yeah... those who chomp on floppy disks for breakfast. 😉
"he is fine and he is definitely behaving like this because he is a bit immature"
Which most men are. My Cancer can be very immature as well. Every guy I know can be a little less mature than I am.
"it is how you interact with ppl and how you move in the world."
Exactly!!!
"we pisces (and women in general I'd say) can take in a lot but we always know deep inside when something is right or not."
And we know when we've had enough and when to leave.
"let him come back and then accordingly to how he approaches you get to your conclusion and take the action you feel you need to take."
That is all it takes. You'd just be as bad as him if you act bitter and rude towards him and apply the same behaviour he has to you.
"don't worry about anybody else except you. i know this concept is hard to assimilate bc i too have always put others before me at the top of my priority list, but, in this case, especially bc of all your losses, try to be a bit more selfish and think of yourself first. you know when you fly and they show you that in case of emergency you have to wear the oxygen mask first and then help somebody else?"
Very true!!!!
"we always think we can't make it alone, this scares us and forces us to accept the unacceptable."
I admit I am also at fault for this and alot of people are. But it should not be defined as stupidity or weakness.
"am sorry for your losses but it is my belief that after going through so much, something huge and good will happen in your life. be open to receive it!"
God sometimes brings us to our lowest in order to exault us. Our struggles help us to appreciate our blessings. Joel Olsteen has a very good book that I think is worth investing in. I don't have the book on me right now but I will quote his chapter on Trials for your reading, it is very uplifting. 😉
Nuff love Sinder and Firefly!
"once your stomach is full, your mind will see better and your heart will feel restored."
Yes!!!! Please eat Sinder.
"you are not a machine... like somebody else, right Lady Taurus?"
LOL yeah... those who chomp on floppy disks for breakfast. 😉
"he is fine and he is definitely behaving like this because he is a bit immature"
Which most men are. My Cancer can be very immature as well. Every guy I know can be a little less mature than I am.
"it is how you interact with ppl and how you move in the world."
Exactly!!!
"we pisces (and women in general I'd say) can take in a lot but we always know deep inside when something is right or not."
And we know when we've had enough and when to leave.
"let him come back and then accordingly to how he approaches you get to your conclusion and take the action you feel you need to take."
That is all it takes. You'd just be as bad as him if you act bitter and rude towards him and apply the same behaviour he has to you.
"don't worry about anybody else except you. i know this concept is hard to assimilate bc i too have always put others before me at the top of my priority list, but, in this case, especially bc of all your losses, try to be a bit more selfish and think of yourself first. you know when you fly and they show you that in case of emergency you have to wear the oxygen mask first and then help somebody else?"
Very true!!!!
"we always think we can't make it alone, this scares us and forces us to accept the unacceptable."
I admit I am also at fault for this and alot of people are. But it should not be defined as stupidity or weakness.
"am sorry for your losses but it is my belief that after going through so much, something huge and good will happen in your life. be open to receive it!"
God sometimes brings us to our lowest in order to exault us. Our struggles help us to appreciate our blessings. Joel Olsteen has a very good book that I think is worth investing in. I don't have the book on me right now but I will quote his chapter on Trials for your reading, it is very uplifting. 😉
Nuff love Sinder and Firefly!
Dear Lady Taurus,
"i just wanted to say i underwrite your words and tentatives to broaden the mind of the closed minded. i have to admit i had given up bc the ignorant (in general) doesn't have
the will nor the understanding to see things from different points of view... therefore we all must be "understanding"...
it just hurt me a lot to read certain things and wanted to thank you for taking the time to write what you did. thanks!"
No problem. I feel like although we may not be in the same situation as someone else and may deal with things better than that person, it doesn't mean that that person is any less than us that are stronger.
It hurts me as well when people post here looking for a sincere listening ear and all they recieve is others bashing on their problems. I personally would not like to be the one belittling someone causing them to lose hope and do something that would hurt themselves because of how they are left to feel about themselves.
Everybody needs hope and encouragement and I for one is not going to join those who feel all high and mighty with putting others down.
I am real and I can indentify real situations and therefore only respond in a way that I think I can help. That person may not take my advice but who knows something may hit home. One thing is for certain nobody forgets when something bad is said to them and it could affect them for a very long time. I am not into that.
I do not respect Leo Kitten and I would never agree with her negative responses. I don't care if she has a whole army of followers to come down to defend her and attack me, I am going to stand by what I think is right.
Leo Kitten gives advice based on what she thinks will get her attention. Followers will edge her on and agree with her and it gives her great pleasure to make people feel like shiat, while she getting all the hype.
My question is, what does that say of her? Don't you think something is lacking there? Does that really sound like someone who is happy and is in a great realtionship? I don't think so man!
"i just wanted to say i underwrite your words and tentatives to broaden the mind of the closed minded. i have to admit i had given up bc the ignorant (in general) doesn't have
the will nor the understanding to see things from different points of view... therefore we all must be "understanding"...
it just hurt me a lot to read certain things and wanted to thank you for taking the time to write what you did. thanks!"
No problem. I feel like although we may not be in the same situation as someone else and may deal with things better than that person, it doesn't mean that that person is any less than us that are stronger.
It hurts me as well when people post here looking for a sincere listening ear and all they recieve is others bashing on their problems. I personally would not like to be the one belittling someone causing them to lose hope and do something that would hurt themselves because of how they are left to feel about themselves.
Everybody needs hope and encouragement and I for one is not going to join those who feel all high and mighty with putting others down.
I am real and I can indentify real situations and therefore only respond in a way that I think I can help. That person may not take my advice but who knows something may hit home. One thing is for certain nobody forgets when something bad is said to them and it could affect them for a very long time. I am not into that.
I do not respect Leo Kitten and I would never agree with her negative responses. I don't care if she has a whole army of followers to come down to defend her and attack me, I am going to stand by what I think is right.
Leo Kitten gives advice based on what she thinks will get her attention. Followers will edge her on and agree with her and it gives her great pleasure to make people feel like shiat, while she getting all the hype.
My question is, what does that say of her? Don't you think something is lacking there? Does that really sound like someone who is happy and is in a great realtionship? I don't think so man!
"if you were in a good relationship, notice i said good, then you have communication. it is really quite simple. not rocket science at all."
LK you are a Dayum fool! And to prove it, I did a search on the internet and found this:
A 'good adult relationship' means different things to different people.
Good and healthy relationships are created when people realize that differences make people and life interesting. Relationships work when people learn to base relationships on understanding. True love grows when people see each other as partners in life and not property, trophies or someone whom they are obsessed with but instead understanding and accepting of their individual personality traits.
All relationships blossom into loving relationships when people decide to understand instead of trying to change each other.
There are occasional mistakes in all relationships but as long as they're solved things can work out. Most people insist that the most important part of a relationship is actually communication but statistics show that understanding is considered the most important part.
Although very important, communication is simply the ability to share, express and listen to your partner at all times. However, there are many different communication style s and conflicts can arise if there is misunderstanding whilst trying to communicate. Understanding is much more important than simply communicating because fairness and compromise keeps balance and harmony in the relationship.
Once you can understand that there's a big difference between everyone's personality traits and changeable behaviours, you will be able to get along with any person that you develop a relationship with. Someone's personality traits won't change since it is imbedded into "who they are". The behavior of someone is changeable but their personality stays. To make a relationship last it's just best to understand the type of person that you're with and understanding that even though there can be completely different personalities between 2 people in a relationship, that relationship can still be as deeply loving and fulfilling for both.
LK you are a Dayum fool! And to prove it, I did a search on the internet and found this:
A 'good adult relationship' means different things to different people.
Good and healthy relationships are created when people realize that differences make people and life interesting. Relationships work when people learn to base relationships on understanding. True love grows when people see each other as partners in life and not property, trophies or someone whom they are obsessed with but instead understanding and accepting of their individual personality traits.
All relationships blossom into loving relationships when people decide to understand instead of trying to change each other.
There are occasional mistakes in all relationships but as long as they're solved things can work out. Most people insist that the most important part of a relationship is actually communication but statistics show that understanding is considered the most important part.
Although very important, communication is simply the ability to share, express and listen to your partner at all times. However, there are many different communication style s and conflicts can arise if there is misunderstanding whilst trying to communicate. Understanding is much more important than simply communicating because fairness and compromise keeps balance and harmony in the relationship.
Once you can understand that there's a big difference between everyone's personality traits and changeable behaviours, you will be able to get along with any person that you develop a relationship with. Someone's personality traits won't change since it is imbedded into "who they are". The behavior of someone is changeable but their personality stays. To make a relationship last it's just best to understand the type of person that you're with and understanding that even though there can be completely different personalities between 2 people in a relationship, that relationship can still be as deeply loving and fulfilling for both.
LK There is no cookie cutter rule for relationships and if you believe that, no wonder you are unhappy. How can you expect from someone in which their personality can not deliver. It is impossible to want someone to be the way that you want them to be. Every relationship is different and that is why it is best to deal with our own relationships based on the person that we are with instead of expecting them to act on what is thought to be a good relationship.
An online Question/Answer on relationships:
? "People who love each other automatically communicate well": FALSE
Good communication does not come naturally. Communication can be improved by learning and practising some simple skills. This includes skills in assertiveness, listening and clarifying to make sure messages are not misunderstood.
? "If my partner loves me, he/she should instinctively know what I want and need to be happy": FALSE
This is called the "mind-reading myth" - expecting your partner to know instinctively what you want and need. Impossible!
An online Question/Answer on relationships:
? "People who love each other automatically communicate well": FALSE
Good communication does not come naturally. Communication can be improved by learning and practising some simple skills. This includes skills in assertiveness, listening and clarifying to make sure messages are not misunderstood.
? "If my partner loves me, he/she should instinctively know what I want and need to be happy": FALSE
This is called the "mind-reading myth" - expecting your partner to know instinctively what you want and need. Impossible!
You turn around and say that Firefly and I are misleading Sinder when in fact it is you who is talking nonsense! Telling her to just end it! Dayum fool!
Another Online Article:
Breaking up with someone is a pretty big step. It's difficult to just let go of someone that you've gotten use to. It's usually easier to end a relationship slowly instead of just jumping out of it impulsively. This can be very unhealthy for you and your partner.
Sometimes it's best to try to work things out a few times before completely ending a relationship all just because you are not willing to listen or give the other person a second or third chance. Giving second chances can help you to understand that person, in which the relationship will grow. We don't all want the same things out of life and we all view things in different ways. Understanding this can make all relationships a little easier to deal with.
Another Online Article:
Breaking up with someone is a pretty big step. It's difficult to just let go of someone that you've gotten use to. It's usually easier to end a relationship slowly instead of just jumping out of it impulsively. This can be very unhealthy for you and your partner.
Sometimes it's best to try to work things out a few times before completely ending a relationship all just because you are not willing to listen or give the other person a second or third chance. Giving second chances can help you to understand that person, in which the relationship will grow. We don't all want the same things out of life and we all view things in different ways. Understanding this can make all relationships a little easier to deal with.
"Why do you even waste your time, LK?"
Yes she should run along and play with the rest of the kitties!
Like a bull my chest is big and I will push her off the first time, when she comes back again and I will stomp her with my hoof and swap her off with my tail. Eventually, she will just get bucked and trampled. Doesn't matter what she comes back with she is gonna get hit harder.
She started this name calling and disrespecting and I am gonna finish it!
So yeah MP... SHE IS WASTING HER TIME!
Yes she should run along and play with the rest of the kitties!
Like a bull my chest is big and I will push her off the first time, when she comes back again and I will stomp her with my hoof and swap her off with my tail. Eventually, she will just get bucked and trampled. Doesn't matter what she comes back with she is gonna get hit harder.
She started this name calling and disrespecting and I am gonna finish it!
So yeah MP... SHE IS WASTING HER TIME!
lady taurus, firefly and all you good people...................
It is so incredibly moving to me to know there are people out there like you. who care. it means so much because i feel alone and abandoned. this resurrects feelings of loss. I am trying to understand myself and others through my pain and your advice and stories and experience.
everyone has a right to their opinion. I am feeling that when there is negative harsh words that come from left field that that person is trying to be so tough to hide a bad experience might of had. negativity , i believe is spurred by another person that gave them a dose of pain/negativity. people treat others as they have been treated, and we are all here to learn from our mistakes.
if things are said and done in goodness and love and real concern for a fellow human being then that is the advice i want to take. i believe that person chose that path and learned from their mistakes and the mistakes of others and rises above negativity and bad intention.
just like a child gets abused, they may abuse their own child but hopefully, in their learning process in this lifetime, they learn and realize that things should be done out of love, that is the only solution to everything we do in this life. and i am realizing that it is not easy. it takes a lot of soul searching.
this painful period has made me search my soul for answers and my mistakes in this relationship. i can see my faults more clearly in this alone time. i want to learn and correct my mistakes and learn that the wrongs and insecurities that were given to me have effected the way i respond to situations that i face now that i am older.
i see my constant barraging pushed at him. this is his response. to run away for a while. though it may not be the response i want or it may not be right at all it is his way. if he chooses to cheat on me while gone then that means the love was not deep enough. it means i made a mistake to think that he felt as i do.
it means i would have to move on.
and yes,,,,changes that happen abruptly in a persons life are more difficult to let go. i have fears of losing those i love from my past and to lose those i love suddenly would mean i would have to face that intense pain again. i hope i can write back with good news that this will not happen.
It is so incredibly moving to me to know there are people out there like you. who care. it means so much because i feel alone and abandoned. this resurrects feelings of loss. I am trying to understand myself and others through my pain and your advice and stories and experience.
everyone has a right to their opinion. I am feeling that when there is negative harsh words that come from left field that that person is trying to be so tough to hide a bad experience might of had. negativity , i believe is spurred by another person that gave them a dose of pain/negativity. people treat others as they have been treated, and we are all here to learn from our mistakes.
if things are said and done in goodness and love and real concern for a fellow human being then that is the advice i want to take. i believe that person chose that path and learned from their mistakes and the mistakes of others and rises above negativity and bad intention.
just like a child gets abused, they may abuse their own child but hopefully, in their learning process in this lifetime, they learn and realize that things should be done out of love, that is the only solution to everything we do in this life. and i am realizing that it is not easy. it takes a lot of soul searching.
this painful period has made me search my soul for answers and my mistakes in this relationship. i can see my faults more clearly in this alone time. i want to learn and correct my mistakes and learn that the wrongs and insecurities that were given to me have effected the way i respond to situations that i face now that i am older.
i see my constant barraging pushed at him. this is his response. to run away for a while. though it may not be the response i want or it may not be right at all it is his way. if he chooses to cheat on me while gone then that means the love was not deep enough. it means i made a mistake to think that he felt as i do.
it means i would have to move on.
and yes,,,,changes that happen abruptly in a persons life are more difficult to let go. i have fears of losing those i love from my past and to lose those i love suddenly would mean i would have to face that intense pain again. i hope i can write back with good news that this will not happen.
"so go ahead miss i coordinate my mans wardrobe....keep encouraging women to in shitty ass relationships."
I am not encouraging her to stay. Nobody is telling her to accept bad behaviour or disrespect from this guy. If you read her posts you will see that she is hurt, she loves the guy and she is not ready to leave. Therefore, one cannot battle with her over her feelings about his guy. If you really have interest in the post then you should give her realistic advice. Advice that assures her that everyone goes through these things, because we all do; advice that helps her to recognise that just because someone is behaving badly it doesn't mean that it is because of her, its just that other people have issues. You have to look outside the box and realise that people take offensive and negative words towards them differently, and just because you may not view their way of handling things, it doesn't give you the right to belittle them.
Telling her to just walk out, and if she doesn't she is stupid is very wrong, cuz in life things just don't happen like that. Telling her that she is causing him to do the things that he's doing is also wrong, because no one can control the other person's ways.
Just don't post on someone's thread if your purpose is to tear them down and disrespect them. Giving advice is one thing, but when you go as far as name calling and bullying, you have reached your limit, and that is what you LK has done.
This is an astrological board after all and not a relationship board. Therefore she is looking for advice on how to understand her Cancer man. She doesn't need all this unnecessary bickering about her relationship. If you have a Cancer man you should know how complex and sensitive they are and sooner or later they will break down and withdraw. She is not the first to come on here and complain about these same problems with a Cancer man.
So please!
I am not encouraging her to stay. Nobody is telling her to accept bad behaviour or disrespect from this guy. If you read her posts you will see that she is hurt, she loves the guy and she is not ready to leave. Therefore, one cannot battle with her over her feelings about his guy. If you really have interest in the post then you should give her realistic advice. Advice that assures her that everyone goes through these things, because we all do; advice that helps her to recognise that just because someone is behaving badly it doesn't mean that it is because of her, its just that other people have issues. You have to look outside the box and realise that people take offensive and negative words towards them differently, and just because you may not view their way of handling things, it doesn't give you the right to belittle them.
Telling her to just walk out, and if she doesn't she is stupid is very wrong, cuz in life things just don't happen like that. Telling her that she is causing him to do the things that he's doing is also wrong, because no one can control the other person's ways.
Just don't post on someone's thread if your purpose is to tear them down and disrespect them. Giving advice is one thing, but when you go as far as name calling and bullying, you have reached your limit, and that is what you LK has done.
This is an astrological board after all and not a relationship board. Therefore she is looking for advice on how to understand her Cancer man. She doesn't need all this unnecessary bickering about her relationship. If you have a Cancer man you should know how complex and sensitive they are and sooner or later they will break down and withdraw. She is not the first to come on here and complain about these same problems with a Cancer man.
So please!
"so go ahead miss i coordinate my mans wardrobe....keep encouraging women to in shitty ass relationships."
Something I did must have worked out for us because he is now my Fiance. He proposed to me in June and we are to be married March 2009. (I don't even care for this site to know that, it's my personal life and I don't need to come on here and post like you do every single time your guy sneezes) Before we reached this stage in our relationship my guy had his issues, he withdrew and I didn't understand him at first. But eventually with my patience I grew to learn more about him, because I looked beyond the surface and didn't give him ultimatums to change into someone that he was not, just to please my selfish ways. I had the option to leave and run away, but I could have picked up another man that had more issues as well. So what would I have done? Run again? Not me, I was woman enough to deal with my man the way I saw fit and overlooked the advice of simple minded people like you who thought they knew it all.
That is why he chose me to be his wife out of all the women he was involved with in his past relationships. Especially the ones like you! With your minds games and hard love that you dish out making you the ones that damage people with the nasty ways you treat treat them.
Something I did must have worked out for us because he is now my Fiance. He proposed to me in June and we are to be married March 2009. (I don't even care for this site to know that, it's my personal life and I don't need to come on here and post like you do every single time your guy sneezes) Before we reached this stage in our relationship my guy had his issues, he withdrew and I didn't understand him at first. But eventually with my patience I grew to learn more about him, because I looked beyond the surface and didn't give him ultimatums to change into someone that he was not, just to please my selfish ways. I had the option to leave and run away, but I could have picked up another man that had more issues as well. So what would I have done? Run again? Not me, I was woman enough to deal with my man the way I saw fit and overlooked the advice of simple minded people like you who thought they knew it all.
That is why he chose me to be his wife out of all the women he was involved with in his past relationships. Especially the ones like you! With your minds games and hard love that you dish out making you the ones that damage people with the nasty ways you treat treat them.
?what my advice is, is for her to take control and to stop being controlled by someone elses actions.?
?my advice is to love herself more. to realize she controls her life...that she is worth more than excuses and shitty behavior.?
Well you are one big hypocrite! You were one of the first ones to bash the girl! You were attacking her not trying to give her advice. Everybody else was trying to give her encouragement for her own well being, not to accept this guy's bad behaviour or to stay with him.
I think the posts speak for themselves.
Lady Taurus: 8/19/2008 11:55:10 AM
Sinder baby girl the choice is yours... step if you don't feel like this is the man for you and he's not treating you the way you deserve. Stay if you feel that there is more to him. Like everyone said... you don't seem happy... so why stay?
Lady Taurus: 8/20/2008 9:51:06 AM
Sinder,
Lost/Firefly are right. Make yourself happy... listen to you... do you! You can't make anyone happy unless you are and no one can make you as happy as you make yourself. The answer lies within you.
LeoKitten: 8/30/2008 7:15:17 AM
if he comes back and talks to you and says he did not cheat...it is all good in your book? if so, you are a big fool.
LeoKitten: 8/30/2008 1:23:39 PM
WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO KEEP HIM— HE IS TREATING YOU LIKE SHIT.
Period. You are being stupid.
FireFly 8/30/2008 7:10:15 PM
in my experience, only us, personally, can open our eyes up. we can be told 1.000.000 times that chocolate is good but till we really try it, personally, we won't know.
the same applies for negative things.
each single thing we go through in our lives helps us mature and understand better what we want and need.
?my advice is to love herself more. to realize she controls her life...that she is worth more than excuses and shitty behavior.?
Well you are one big hypocrite! You were one of the first ones to bash the girl! You were attacking her not trying to give her advice. Everybody else was trying to give her encouragement for her own well being, not to accept this guy's bad behaviour or to stay with him.
I think the posts speak for themselves.
Lady Taurus: 8/19/2008 11:55:10 AM
Sinder baby girl the choice is yours... step if you don't feel like this is the man for you and he's not treating you the way you deserve. Stay if you feel that there is more to him. Like everyone said... you don't seem happy... so why stay?
Lady Taurus: 8/20/2008 9:51:06 AM
Sinder,
Lost/Firefly are right. Make yourself happy... listen to you... do you! You can't make anyone happy unless you are and no one can make you as happy as you make yourself. The answer lies within you.
LeoKitten: 8/30/2008 7:15:17 AM
if he comes back and talks to you and says he did not cheat...it is all good in your book? if so, you are a big fool.
LeoKitten: 8/30/2008 1:23:39 PM
WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO KEEP HIM— HE IS TREATING YOU LIKE SHIT.
Period. You are being stupid.
FireFly 8/30/2008 7:10:15 PM
in my experience, only us, personally, can open our eyes up. we can be told 1.000.000 times that chocolate is good but till we really try it, personally, we won't know.
the same applies for negative things.
each single thing we go through in our lives helps us mature and understand better what we want and need.
From LK to Firefly:
?didn't you just get dumped—?
What the hell is wrong with you LK?
?oh god sinder. please, go get some counseling. even one session.?
Oh I hope that you are like this in real life and somebody gives you one biatch slap right in the mouth knocking all your dayum teeth down your throat. Choke biatch! Choke!
?and MP was not siding with you lt. are you clueless??
HELLO! Are you clueless? Where in my response did you think I thought she was siding with me? I don't need someone to side with me! I do quite well on my own.
LK you are so hateful and negative. What do you have, herpes or something? Has your crutch been burning you recently? Stinkin' ole hag!
?didn't you just get dumped—?
What the hell is wrong with you LK?
?oh god sinder. please, go get some counseling. even one session.?
Oh I hope that you are like this in real life and somebody gives you one biatch slap right in the mouth knocking all your dayum teeth down your throat. Choke biatch! Choke!
?and MP was not siding with you lt. are you clueless??
HELLO! Are you clueless? Where in my response did you think I thought she was siding with me? I don't need someone to side with me! I do quite well on my own.
LK you are so hateful and negative. What do you have, herpes or something? Has your crutch been burning you recently? Stinkin' ole hag!
"still waiting on those cites....yahoo answers? lol."
Search yahoo answers for the instructions to cool your burning crotch! Maybe when you get relief you'll stop attacking people.
Search yahoo answers for the instructions to cool your burning crotch! Maybe when you get relief you'll stop attacking people.
"lol. i hope he picks a good tux, or you might have to send him back to the closet! lol."
No I am picking it for him! Did you forget? I do the picking... so there's no room for mistakes.
No I am picking it for him! Did you forget? I do the picking... so there's no room for mistakes.
"i hardly ever post about my relationship."
Hardly ever anymore! Because I called you up on it and people were PM me giving me high fives for telling you how pathetic your threads were... becaus they were sick of you blabbering on about your fantasy man. Got fairytales?
Hardly ever anymore! Because I called you up on it and people were PM me giving me high fives for telling you how pathetic your threads were... becaus they were sick of you blabbering on about your fantasy man. Got fairytales?
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