R All Cancer Guys Cheap? (Page 4)

Keep us posted Sinder, it will be interesting to hear how he acts when he comes back.

the thing is, is that i do hang around his place when he is not here. when he is at work sometimes i stop over in the middle of the week and make us dinner etc... He even mentioned before he left to water the plants saying when you stop over.

I am going to the store for a while to get my mind off of this, i want to stop back later because seriously, I am worried, His answering machine at work said he was on vaca till sept 3. if he doesnt come back tonight that is not good.

his brakes were not in good condition when he left and i just hope to God that nothing happened that is tragic. i am not dwelling on this. i am just saying that if he is not back by midnight that there would be cause for real concern. it is 6pm where i am right now.........

What's your sign sinder? And I completely agree with krobe03. In your situation you're probably thinking if you did something bold and romantic you're both going to live happily ever after... Do the complete opposite. Listen to the voice that you don't wanna listen to. Life is not a romantic chick flick. tho what if right? Love is wait... And that's what I'll do! I don't want a non meaning full relationship with someone that I have no magical connection with! C'mon now! What's the meaning of life if you cannot find your true happiness?!

My sun sign is Pisces
Moon pisces
venus taurus
mars pisces
ascendent libra

Some of the plants are dying and i am watering them so i dont know.......

I have never seen a mean streak like this ever in my life in anybody i have ever been with. it is unbelievable. i have tossing all this around in mind and can not believe the manner in which he is treating me. he has not even been on sites on line that he maintains on a daily basis.

if someone wants to dump someone else wouldnt they tell them—? why in Gods name would he do this to me?? He knows I consider him my best freind, He told me only 2 weeks ago that he wants no one else but me before we got into the argument again about the model porno sites.

Does he just want me to hate his guts—? Why would a normal person do something in this way..to drive someone nuts—?he gave me a shoulder rub before he left.....asked if id watter the plantS,,,,How would he expect me to do anything nice by treating me this way— Is he testing me—??

I can't take this, its too painful....

he has not come home, he is suppose to be at work tomorrow..its already 9pm here. is he gonna drive 7 hours straight into work tomorrow morning— this is so bizarre.

I just thought of something.......

his voicemail says he will be on vaca until sept 3. would he have put that on there for me to hear it and expect him back for an additional let down— I don't know what to think..

can love turn to hate

no there is no one i can hang out with here. i am just going to sleep here. its already 9 oclock and i have had a couple drinks to calm my nerves. funny thing is i am not a drinker. I just feel i need some way to relax. so i don't want to drive now.

so this is not normal. this is not nice. this is not love. this is premeditated, preplanned to hurt me so deep that i will be scarred and i will be scarred by this.

this experience has been mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually draining. I feel numb, like a robot when i talk to people when i am out i am on auto pilot.

I have never been treated so wonderful and then so evil by a man in all my life.

so extreme. i cant make sense of this.

leo kitty,

he probably won't be coming back here, i dont know, its already 9'30. if the voice mail is real then he has to go to work tomorrow, he is either going to drive 7 hrs from washington dc in the morning or he is with someone.

i just don't feel he will be here tonight.. a feeling very strong that i have maybe i had a little too many but i think he wont' be here tonight.

i have to drive and hours to get home and i hve to be up at 6 am.

i hear waht you are saying. you don't want me to look like an a $ $ . i dont' want to appear tht way. but i will tell you this, he will know that he is an a $ $ when he comes back if this is indeed done to hurt me so shockingly. he knows my brother just died and my dad died in front of me suddenly and i passed out from shock, he knows i have been through hell. he knows i am sensitive and a giver and i worry, unless ther is a good explanation, i will believe that that man is satan himself.

just a feeling leo kitty, i dont' think he will be here, if he does come here, i dont' want to talk now. i couldn't be clear headed enough anyway and i think i am just too numb.

i am a good person. if i have been clingy or hard on him about porn/model sites, there is reason and i tried to explain to him, i cant help being clingy without realizing it and it only has happened to me in the past couple of years, i think is has to do with all my losses so close togeher and so sudden, this experience just keeps making me think of all my loves ones who died so young, there is a connection.

i really would like to talk to a oounselor to help sort things out because i think any normal person changes with trauma. i have kept so much inside of me and it needs to come out i think.

he has resurrected all the feelings and emotions that i have buried to get along day by day. he has threw it in my face, the shock, the isolation, the loss, the worry all of it.

i thoght we could come to a cogh, i guess he doesnt want to talk abrompromise,, i hust wanted to talk it though, i guess he doesnt want to talk about it (i am laughing over here)

wow, i am slurring my words, let me repeat,,,,,,,,,,,,

i thought we could come to a comprmise through talking it out, but he doesnt want to do that, obviously,

i guess its not worth it to him.

Dear Sinder,

After all that had happened to you..i believe you are one strong woman that have been though enough with life tested and all. You have lost all the person that you loved in your life and that is heartbreaking. For once.. please listen to what LT, LK and Shisno try to say. I've been there in what you have been as if now..nothing without any communication for days..and no it was not done by cancer man.. but any men would do just that to avoid you.

Please step away from his place or anything that could remind him. What LT trying to say is not gonna make any sense right now since you have all of the thought going through your mind. But i believe you could be brave enough to take that step. The question now is.."What about you?" What is it that you want? What is it that you need? Try to listen to what your heart trying to tell you... your conscience is screaming right now..

i am not there. i left, i am not going to let this break me. I believe in the saying that God will not give you more than you can handle. He must have made me pretty strong. If you guys knew my whole backstory you would think my life is being tested pretty hard.

i could have chosen to treat people bad (like we all can) a because of all the bad that was done to me since i was born. Lets put it this way, i was born early covered in black and blue marks because my father beat on my mom when she was pregnant with me. He pushed her and she fell down a flight of stairs and went into labor. I was born with battle scars.

It almost seems like an odd pre destiny for me to suffer heartbreaks and pain one after another. I look to many things to understand my life but the only thing i know for sure is that there is a God somewhere and I believe there is a reason for all of us and we all have a choice to do bad or good. I want to do good no matter how many obstacles are thrown at me.

If i died tomorrow I would at least want love in my heart not hate. If i left this world I would want to feel a peace of mind. I can;t stay here. there is no love here.

I pray to God Sinder you are OK and you did NOT let your negative insecurities get the best of you!

I hope sinder is okay...hmmm

"it is tought to realize you had more love and respect than another person.

the key is to realize...and this takes some time...that it was not a fault of yours that made you love more...it was their issue that did not allow them to accept it.

you did nothing wrong. you stayed true to your values. that is never wrong."


kitten: very wise and lovely words.

problems and worries require both thought and time.....the former to recognize them as important and the latter to acquire the tools necessary to solve them. sinder be kind to yourself.

hi guys

thanks again for being there for me at a very difficult time. I truely will never forget that i found a place to come to that someone would listen when i felt really all alone.

I have just needed to be by myself for a while. He came home a few days ago and we ended up talking. he said that he needed to get away from everyone. work, me, his controlling parents etc...he said he needed to do a little soul searching, a voyage of discovery is what he called it. He said he realized alot and he needed to be away and alone to do that.

i told him he should of let somebody know if he was dead or alive and the whole discovery thing i understandable.

he said he realized that he missed me and we were never apart for him to be sure how he felt. Even though we disagree, he felt love for me and he thought for sure i would never want to speak to him again.

We are taking this very slow and talking about all the things between us that need to be communicated that have been misunderstood.

So all in all, i feel much better. He said he couldn't eat either so we both lost a few pounds.


Oh, and i did tell him i thought he was cheap btw!!🙂

he says he is just saving for the future and i will be glad he was so cheap one day.

again thanks to all you guys leo kitty, lady taurus, etc...you are all good people i don't care what sign you are!

Very good Sinder! Alot of people expected the worst but I knew that's how things would have happened. After all he is human just like you and distance does make the heart fonder.

Glad you clarified things and it worked out! Continue to talk and try to make things work if this is the man you love.

thanks lady taurus and firefly!!!