Sucks being an alpha female at a job filled with miysoginists.

So I work in the car business in a finance department. I'm a strong alpha female and I deal with mysoginy and sexism at work on a daily basis. I got sent home today for doing MY JOB which, to make a long story short, means I have to assert my self sometimes so that my company makes money. I "offended" a finance manager (not my manager to be specific) and he got butt hurt, started screaming at me to leave his office. And my GM sent me home because of "the tone of my voice". When he was raising his voice at me first..

I work at a car dealership.

Everyone is a shark.

Everyone is loud.

Am I supposed to be a submissive female employee here? Don't I get paid to do my work and do it well no matter what? I'm just wondering here... does any one else struggle with this? With being "too passionate" at work and speaking your mind?

I know in my gut it's them. I do. But I wonder if anyone else on here goes through this? are we cancers just too intense or something? I mean fuck. I'm so good at my job they should be kissing my feet.

On top of everything I just found out my poor (Pisces) mother has tumors. And she can barely feed her self. And is always concerned about everyone else's health but her own.

So here I am. 25. Having to deal with bullshit loss of money because of the 6 hours I lost of work today. Not to mention I had to leave early yesterday to take my mom to the hospital. Fuck am I jeprodising my own job here? Or is this just another case of "WOMEN AT THE WORK PLACE"? :/

As the only female in a male dominated industry here, I feel ya.

You win some you lose some.

The reality is there is sexism and misogyny in your work place. And it likely will not change any time soon-

maintain your own composure, more importantly do your job and just remember the extra bullshidt is free of charge regardless of how it makes you feel.

Ten years ago I would've sympathized a tad more but now, it's a suck it up attitude for at least another ten years in that role. Trust me.

Eventually the men you work with will learn to take you seriously, and the random offenders you encounter will roll right off your back...

This situation is not unique, it is par for the course for many women in any aspect of work/family life.

Posted by Arielle83
I work as the only female in a male dominated industry. The jokes are crass, but you just give it back to them ten fold and don't get emotional about it.

I definitely usually stick to logic at work. But being sent home for my "tone"?!.. I lost it.

Posted by wagtail
As the only female in a male dominated industry here, I feel ya.

You win some you lose some.

The reality is there is sexism and misogyny in your work place. And it likely will not change any time soon-

maintain your own composure, more importantly do your job and just remember the extra bullshidt is free of charge regardless of how it makes you feel.

Ten years ago I would've sympathized a tad more but now, it's a suck it up attitude for at least another ten years in that role. Trust me.

Eventually the men you work with will learn to take you seriously, and the random offenders you encounter will roll right off your back...

This situation is not unique, it is par for the course for many women in any aspect of work/family life.

This world makes me so sad sometimes 😢

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by Arielle83
I work as the only female in a male dominated industry. The jokes are crass, but you just give it back to them ten fold and don't get emotional about it.

I definitely usually stick to logic at work. But being sent home for my "tone"?!.. I lost it.

You have to learn how to be dry and sarcastic.

click to expand

I definitely need to perfect it. I'm dry and sarcastic when it counts when my emotions get involved (rare at work) I find it difficult to control. When my emotions and my pride conflict I should say.

I always feel like I need to stand up for myself . But you are right that's a solid suggestion

Same here girl. I work in IT and it's very sexist and misogynistic.

They also have no middle ground. Either they disrespect you or insult your intelligence.

Posted by Arielle83
I work as the only female in a male dominated industry. The jokes are crass, but you just give it back to them ten fold and don't get emotional about it.

+1000

Posted by DMV
Same here girl. I work in IT and it's very sexist and misogynistic.

They also have no middle ground. Either they disrespect you or insult your intelligence.

Right! The double standard is atrocious.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Arielle83
I work as the only female in a male dominated industry. The jokes are crass, but you just give it back to them ten fold and don't get emotional about it.

+1000

click to expand

I have SUCH a hard time controlling my passion. Some days I brush it off with sarcasm. Days like today I want to say fuck it. Rebel. And go radical bitch on their asses. Gather some females. And protest outside the dealership. But one can only dream. Lol. I just care so muchhhhhhh. It's a blessing and curse in many aspects of my life.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by WaterDevil
So I work in the car business in a finance department. I'm a strong alpha female and I deal with mysoginy and sexism at work on a daily basis. I got sent home today for doing MY JOB which, to make a long story short, means I have to assert my self sometimes so that my company makes money. I "offended" a finance manager (not my manager to be specific) and he got butt hurt, started screaming at me to leave his office. And my GM sent me home because of "the tone of my voice". When he was raising his voice at me first..

I work at a car dealership.

Everyone is a shark.

Everyone is loud.

Am I supposed to be a submissive female employee here? Don't I get paid to do my work and do it well no matter what? I'm just wondering here... does any one else struggle with this? With being "too passionate" at work and speaking your mind?

I know in my gut it's them. I do. But I wonder if anyone else on here goes through this? are we cancers just too intense or something? I mean fuck. I'm so good at my job they should be kissing my feet.

On top of everything I just found out my poor (Pisces) mother has tumors. And she can barely feed her self. And is always concerned about everyone else's health but her own.

So here I am. 25. Having to deal with bullshit loss of money because of the 6 hours I lost of work today. Not to mention I had to leave early yesterday to take my mom to the hospital. Fuck am I jeprodising my own job here? Or is this just another case of "WOMEN AT THE WORK PLACE"? :/

😢 I'm sorry about your mom. I would do my job and then leave for another place that is a bit more professional.

medical is going to be very expensive for moms, you don't want to lose your job over some bums right now

click to expand

Thank you! And yeah. That's the plan. Im waiting two weeks to leave as of right now. Because I have a music festival Im preforming at in 2 weeks. And Im very busy until then. Im being proactive rn though and as soon as im done im gonna job hunt full force. I just need the job security until after the show... because I do get paid decent, I won't lie.

Posted by FknNerd
Talk to a lawyer and start documenting all of it

I inquired.. PA laws are fucked apparently :/

I would go to my boss and say: imagine this same scenario, but those same words and that same tone being said/used by a man. Would you have sent him home?

Posted by IamAries
I would go to my boss and say: imagine this same scenario, but those same words and that same tone being said/used by a man. Would you have sent him home?

I did that and than some. They don't care 😢. Than I went to the owner and told him they are being sexist misogynists at the office... And its wrong to send me home for my "tone" when the finance manager is the one screaming at ME to "get the F UCK out of his office"... No one cared.. The owner proceeded to tell me he suggests I apologize in order to make the moral good in the office when I came back today. I shut that down real quick. FUCK THATTTT.

Posted by WaterDevil
So I work in the car business in a finance department. I'm a strong alpha female and I deal with mysoginy and sexism at work on a daily basis. I got sent home today for doing MY JOB which, to make a long story short, means I have to assert my self sometimes so that my company makes money. I "offended" a finance manager (not my manager to be specific) and he got butt hurt, started screaming at me to leave his office. And my GM sent me home because of "the tone of my voice". When he was raising his voice at me first..

I work at a car dealership.

Everyone is a shark.

Everyone is loud.

Am I supposed to be a submissive female employee here? Don't I get paid to do my work and do it well no matter what? I'm just wondering here... does any one else struggle with this? With being "too passionate" at work and speaking your mind?

I know in my gut it's them. I do. But I wonder if anyone else on here goes through this? are we cancers just too intense or something? I mean fuck. I'm so good at my job they should be kissing my feet.

On top of everything I just found out my poor (Pisces) mother has tumors. And she can barely feed her self. And is always concerned about everyone else's health but her own.

So here I am. 25. Having to deal with bullshit loss of money because of the 6 hours I lost of work today. Not to mention I had to leave early yesterday to take my mom to the hospital. Fuck am I jeprodising my own job here? Or is this just another case of "WOMEN AT THE WORK PLACE"? :/

This was wrong! I would have stood my ground and asked, "Why am I being sent home? Shouldn't it be the both of us? You cannot lose both of us as my job is just as important as his is. I would like to speak to you behind closed doors just you and I, please". BULL s*HIT! 😡

They probably chalked it up as you having a "period", etc. Grrrr! I would NOT have been the one to have been sent home.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

PS: And about "ethics?" I work for the U.S. Army. We have many sexual harassment training to attend both face-to-face AND CBT (Computer Based Training); so we don't play tit-for-tat on that butter, either 😡

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by IamAries
I would go to my boss and say: imagine this same scenario, but those same words and that same tone being said/used by a man. Would you have sent him home?

I did that and than some. They don't care 😢. Than I went to the owner and told him they are being sexist misogynists at the office... And its wrong to send me home for my "tone" when the finance manager is the one screaming at ME to "get the F UCK out of his office"... No one cared.. The owner proceeded to tell me he suggests I apologize in order to make the moral good in the office when I came back today. I shut that down real quick. FUCK THATTTT.

click to expand

Ahh thats sucks.

Then you are clearly surrounded by idiots and should move to greener pastures.

Luckly not all men are idiots or feel threatened by female achievemts:

Unfortunately, you can't change the rules but you can change how you play the game. Use their sexist bull crap against them and beat them at their own game.

Come at them sweet and feminine. Be nice and even play a little dumb, "I'm not sure, I think I should do this. You know better". Play to their ego and you win every time.