Waiting for a Cancer Man worth it?

Hey guys,

so I am a Capricorn girl dating a Cancer man for about 3 months now. We see each other 2-4 times a month. When we meet we spend 6-7h together.

He texts me everyday and we have this deep connection going on. The relationship between us is light hearted. I even got to know his parents, especially his mother.

We always enjoy our company, talk a lot and he slowly starts to open up a little bit more. Yesterday we'v had that deep conversation about his job and the stress he has had the last weeks so I listened and gave him advice as well as support and he thanked me in the end for my warm words.

He even tells me every time how he loves children and wants to have a family in the future.

Yesterday we kissed very passionately (without having sex because he didn't want to). We used to have great sex in the past, but I rejected him a couple weeks ago because I was scared that he would only want me for the physical part and I am not interested in a fling which got him upset, I guess.

At this state we try to work more on a "friendship" because he told me that he is not ready to commit after a messy breakup 6-7 month ago. He says he likes me and his interest for me is real, even if we would cut out the physical aspects in our "relationship" (which is not working because we always kiss due to the fact that the affection is to strong).

Sometimes he acts nervous and starts fidgeting around me or can't even hold eye contact when he talks to me. Other times he acts very flirty and cool and holds deep eye contact.

He said that he is note sure if he can give me the emotional aspects I aim for and that he would understand if I would like to cut contact. The other thing is that I am the one who starts initiating most of the dates. He is always happy and says "yes" every time I ask him to hang out, but he rarely asks me to go on a date. He did in the beginning but he stopped.

I'm super confused why he is not committing even though he is super affectionate towards me, he rememberers everything, tells his friends and family how great I am. He even insisted helping me with moving.

I am very calm and not pushing even though I am super in love with him. I just wonder if I should keep on waiting....or if it is a waste of time.

I am scared that he will hurt my feelings.

If he's not committing then he's just playing games. Believe me I know

Posted by blackphvse

Go take a scroll through the Cancer forum.. You'll see this happens a lot.

If you are scared he will hurt your feelings, you've given him too much power over you. Take your power back.

Thx for the advice! But how to take the power away? I could text less and stop asking him out. But with text he is the one initiating most of the time.

Posted by LibraSupreme

If he's not committing then he's just playing games. Believe me I know

I am not sure... Why would he still invest in me just to play games? I've met players before.

We don't have sex and he is not trying to convince me for something physical. Isn't this much effort for a game?

Posted by blackphvse

Go take a scroll through the Cancer forum.. You'll see this happens a lot.

If you are scared he will hurt your feelings, you've given him too much power over you. Take your power back.

Thank you for the advice! But how to take back my power? Stop initiating? With texts he is the one to initiate conversation. I just cut stop asking for dates.

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LibraSupreme

If he's not committing then he's just playing games. Believe me I know

I am not sure... Why would he still invest in me just to play games? I've met players before.

We don't have sex and he is not trying to convince me for something physical. Isn't this much effort for a game?

click to expand

Because he's a Cancer.... who can't help but be nice and keep old connections. He's already paved the way out for you and waiting for you to just take it. He said he'd understand if you're not okay with the lack of emotional intimacy because he knows most women wouldn't be okay with it.

He really enjoys your company but doesn't mean it's as deep as how you feel.

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LibraSupreme

If he's not committing then he's just playing games. Believe me I know

I am not sure... Why would he still invest in me just to play games? I've met players before.

We don't have sex and he is not trying to convince me for something physical. Isn't this much effort for a game?

Because he's a Cancer.... who can't help but be nice and keep old connections. He's already paved the way out for you and waiting for you to just take it. He said he'd understand if you're not okay with the lack of emotional intimacy because he knows most women wouldn't be okay with it.

He really enjoys your company but doesn't mean it's as deep as how you feel.

click to expand

Maybe u are right... maybe I should cut the contact. I just don't get why he would text everyday and opens up to me just string me along. Whats his benefit? Why would someone focus on people they don't have real interest in.

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LibraSupreme

If he's not committing then he's just playing games. Believe me I know

I am not sure... Why would he still invest in me just to play games? I've met players before.

We don't have sex and he is not trying to convince me for something physical. Isn't this much effort for a game?

Because he's a Cancer.... who can't help but be nice and keep old connections. He's already paved the way out for you and waiting for you to just take it. He said he'd understand if you're not okay with the lack of emotional intimacy because he knows most women wouldn't be okay with it.

He really enjoys your company but doesn't mean it's as deep as how you feel.

Maybe u are right... maybe I should cut the contact. I just don't get why he would text everyday and opens up to me just string me along. Whats his benefit? Why would someone focus on people they don't have real interest in.

click to expand

well it's natural to him and he enjoys it. Doesn't mean he can give you a relationship. I'd just give it a timeline and if it doesn't turn into what you want cut it off.

Or you can tell him that you're going to start dating but you and him can stay friends. See his reaction... if a man doesn't fight for you then he doesn't claim you....which means he doesnt see a future with you

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LibraSupreme

If he's not committing then he's just playing games. Believe me I know

I am not sure... Why would he still invest in me just to play games? I've met players before.

We don't have sex and he is not trying to convince me for something physical. Isn't this much effort for a game?

Because he's a Cancer.... who can't help but be nice and keep old connections. He's already paved the way out for you and waiting for you to just take it. He said he'd understand if you're not okay with the lack of emotional intimacy because he knows most women wouldn't be okay with it.

He really enjoys your company but doesn't mean it's as deep as how you feel.

Maybe u are right... maybe I should cut the contact. I just don't get why he would text everyday and opens up to me just string me along. Whats his benefit? Why would someone focus on people they don't have real interest in.

well it's natural to him and he enjoys it. Doesn't mean he can give you a relationship. I'd just give it a timeline and if it doesn't turn into what you want cut it off.

Or you can tell him that you're going to start dating but you and him can stay friends. See his reaction... if a man doesn't fight for you then he doesn't claim you....which means he doesnt see a future with you

click to expand

Thx. I have to add that a couple weeks ago I told him that I don't know if I am ready for a relationship either and want to remain friends. I just noticed yesterday, that my feelings for him are stronger than I expected. He seemed okay with my suggestion but acted nervous yesterday and kissed me in the end.

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LibraSupreme

If he's not committing then he's just playing games. Believe me I know

I am not sure... Why would he still invest in me just to play games? I've met players before.

We don't have sex and he is not trying to convince me for something physical. Isn't this much effort for a game?

Because he's a Cancer.... who can't help but be nice and keep old connections. He's already paved the way out for you and waiting for you to just take it. He said he'd understand if you're not okay with the lack of emotional intimacy because he knows most women wouldn't be okay with it.

He really enjoys your company but doesn't mean it's as deep as how you feel.

Maybe u are right... maybe I should cut the contact. I just don't get why he would text everyday and opens up to me just string me along. Whats his benefit? Why would someone focus on people they don't have real interest in.

well it's natural to him and he enjoys it. Doesn't mean he can give you a relationship. I'd just give it a timeline and if it doesn't turn into what you want cut it off.

Or you can tell him that you're going to start dating but you and him can stay friends. See his reaction... if a man doesn't fight for you then he doesn't claim you....which means he doesnt see a future with you

Thx. I have to add that a couple weeks ago I told him that I don't know if I am ready for a relationship either and want to remain friends. I just noticed yesterday, that my feelings for him are stronger than I expected. He seemed okay with my suggestion but acted nervous yesterday and kissed me in the end.

click to expand

haha so both of you are all over the place then 😛 In that case don't tell him you'll be dating because then it's playing games since you just told him you're not ready for a relationship....

May be give it time then confess your feelings like you didn't want a relationship but being friends with him has changed your mind...

I see so much women complaining about shit that cancer man won't commit. I don't commit easily asw. I date person until i see who she is, and is she really long term material. Most women know what they want in a man, but do you know what you offer and what you show for that man to make him want you be a long term partner? If you can cook for him, he'll know you'll happily cook for the kids, if you do emotional drama, he'll know you'll do that in a family, and that's unhealthy etc. When i date person, i look at the behaviour they show and are they long term material. The time you had is not enough in my option . Also ask yourself if you want long term relationship, what do you offer there for a man, and what do you want from him. Most women are all about feelings , i want this, i want that. Relationship is not only about that, it's about what you offer long term as a partner and what you need. See all these divorce rates ? most of them come from woman, they enter marriage just because of emotion, not because of partnership and long term thing. That's why so many divorces are out there . Men who see and know the statistics won't easily enter into long term relationships or marriage, and that's because you have to trully see if the partner is there for long term or only because they want things , and only in about their emotions. People might not like this response, but it is how it is. Women complain there are not that manny good men out there, while they are being masculine and offer nothing that men value in the long term relationship, i hope this might bring some clarity for some people, peace.

He's not willing to give you commitment and a relationship tittle.

Your not willing to continue the sexual relationship without that commitment.

So is it a waste of time for you to continue a friendship in the hopes that he changes his mind down the road? No nothing wrong with that. Just accept that he may also be continuing the 'friendship' in the hopes you decide to put sex back on the table.

Its only a waste of time if you are shutting down other romantic opportunities waiting on him to suddenly change. Despite what Disney has preconditioned you to believe, people tend to know their own minds and what they want so it's unlikely that you can change him. That's a pipe dream.

Him showing affection and caring about you fundamentally as a person is separate from him not wanting a relationship with you. For whatever reason he doesn't see you as part of his future but rather part of his 'right now'.

If you are so invested, then just ride it out and see where it takes you. I agree there seems to be something there. Cancer men are notoriously love bombers at the start and then when they have you, they all of a sudden want to proceed with caution. Just wait and see what happens. Yeah, you might get your heart broken... So, is that a risk you are willing to take to see this through? ⚡

Posted by LithiK

I see so much women complaining about shit that cancer man won't commit. I don't commit easily asw. I date person until i see who she is, and is she really long term material. Most women know what they want in a man, but do you know what you offer and what you show for that man to make him want you be a long term partner? If you can cook for him, he'll know you'll happily cook for the kids, if you do emotional drama, he'll know you'll do that in a family, and that's unhealthy etc. When i date person, i look at the behaviour they show and are they long term material. The time you had is not enough in my option . Also ask yourself if you want long term relationship, what do you offer there for a man, and what do you want from him. Most women are all about feelings , i want this, i want that. Relationship is not only about that, it's about what you offer long term as a partner and what you need. See all these divorce rates ? most of them come from woman, they enter marriage just because of emotion, not because of partnership and long term thing. That's why so many divorces are out

there . Men who see and know the statistics won't easily enter into long term relationships or marriage, and that's because you have to trully see if the partner is there for long term or only because they want things , and only in about their emotions. People might not like this response, but it is how it is. Women complain there are not that manny good men out there, while they are being masculine and offer nothing that men value in the long term relationship, i hope this might bring some clarity for some people, peace.

Thank you for your advice maybe time will show.

I think that I offer enough. I always try my best to be nice and loving to the people in my life.

And yes I cooked and even baked for him 😄 and even invited him to a dinner with two of my friends. And I get along with men pretty well.

I am not pushing or begging or even considering being dramatic. I am never dramatic with no one, I am just a little scared to get hurt, but we all are. Yes I would love to have a long term relationship now that I am done with university.

I just got hurt before that's why I told him that I am not sure If I want a relationship either.

Posted by LadyNeptune

He's not willing to give you commitment and a relationship tittle.

Your not willing to continue the sexual relationship without that commitment.

So is it a waste of time for you to continue a friendship in the hopes that he changes his mind down the road? No nothing wrong with that. Just accept that he may also be continuing the 'friendship' in the hopes you decide to put sex back on the table.

Its only a waste of time if you are shutting down other romantic opportunities waiting on him to suddenly change. Despite what Disney has preconditioned you to believe, people tend to know their own minds and what they want so it's unlikely that you can change him. That's a pipe dream.

Him showing affection and caring about you fundamentally as a person is separate from him not wanting a relationship with you. For whatever reason he doesn't see you as part of his future but rather part of his 'right now'.

I'm not shutting down romantic opportunities. Of course he is the one I really like the most. I don't know what he wants. He really tries to be a good friend to me. I know for fact that he sincerely values me as a person. He does not try to have sex with me, just the kissing. Most of the time we just talk for hours.

He is not really dating other women plus he told me that my competition is very low. So of course I have a hopes but maybe he is just emotionally unavailable.

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LithiK

I see so much women complaining about shit that cancer man won't commit. I don't commit easily asw. I date person until i see who she is, and is she really long term material. Most women know what they want in a man, but do you know what you offer and what you show for that man to make him want you be a long term partner? If you can cook for him, he'll know you'll happily cook for the kids, if you do emotional drama, he'll know you'll do that in a family, and that's unhealthy etc. When i date person, i look at the behaviour they show and are they long term material. The time you had is not enough in my option . Also ask yourself if you want long term relationship, what do you offer there for a man, and what do you want from him. Most women are all about feelings , i want this, i want that. Relationship is not only about that, it's about what you offer long term as a partner and what you need. See all these divorce rates ? most of them come from woman, they enter marriage just because of emotion, not because of partnership and long term thing. That's why so many divorces are out

there . Men who see and know the statistics won't easily enter into long term relationships or marriage, and that's because you have to trully see if the partner is there for long term or only because they want things , and only in about their emotions. People might not like this response, but it is how it is. Women complain there are not that manny good men out there, while they are being masculine and offer nothing that men value in the long term relationship, i hope this might bring some clarity for some people, peace.

Thank you for your advice maybe time will show.

I think that I offer enough. I always try my best to be nice and loving to the people in my life.

And yes I cooked and even baked for him 😄 and even invited him to a dinner with two of my friends. And I get along with men pretty well.

I am not pushing or begging or even considering being dramatic. I am never dramatic with no one, I am just a little scared to get hurt, but we all are. Yes I would love to have a long term relationship now that I am done with university.

I just got hurt before that's why I told him that I am not sure If I want a relationship either.

click to expand

best of luck working on this. 😉

Posted by LithiK

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LithiK

I see so much women complaining about shit that cancer man won't commit. I don't commit easily asw. I date person until i see who she is, and is she really long term material. Most women know what they want in a man, but do you know what you offer and what you show for that man to make him want you be a long term partner? If you can cook for him, he'll know you'll happily cook for the kids, if you do emotional drama, he'll know you'll do that in a family, and that's unhealthy etc. When i date person, i look at the behaviour they show and are they long term material. The time you had is not enough in my option . Also ask yourself if you want long term relationship, what do you offer there for a man, and what do you want from him. Most women are all about feelings , i want this, i want that. Relationship is not only about that, it's about what you offer long term as a partner and what you need. See all these divorce rates ? most of them come from woman, they enter marriage just because of emotion, not because of partnership and long term thing. That's why so many divorces are out

there . Men who see and know the statistics won't easily enter into long term relationships or marriage, and that's because you have to trully see if the partner is there for long term or only because they want things , and only in about their emotions. People might not like this response, but it is how it is. Women complain there are not that manny good men out there, while they are being masculine and offer nothing that men value in the long term relationship, i hope this might bring some clarity for some people, peace.

Thank you for your advice maybe time will show.

I think that I offer enough. I always try my best to be nice and loving to the people in my life.

And yes I cooked and even baked for him 😄 and even invited him to a dinner with two of my friends. And I get along with men pretty well.

I am not pushing or begging or even considering being dramatic. I am never dramatic with no one, I am just a little scared to get hurt, but we all are. Yes I would love to have a long term relationship now that I am done with university.

I just got hurt before that's why I told him that I am not sure If I want a relationship either.

best of luck working on this. 😉

click to expand

Thank u. Probably the only way to go might be to lean back, stay kind and see what happens. If it's meant to be it will happen.

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LithiK

Posted by Capricorn95

Posted by LithiK

I see so much women complaining about shit that cancer man won't commit. I don't commit easily asw. I date person until i see who she is, and is she really long term material. Most women know what they want in a man, but do you know what you offer and what you show for that man to make him want you be a long term partner? If you can cook for him, he'll know you'll happily cook for the kids, if you do emotional drama, he'll know you'll do that in a family, and that's unhealthy etc. When i date person, i look at the behaviour they show and are they long term material. The time you had is not enough in my option . Also ask yourself if you want long term relationship, what do you offer there for a man, and what do you want from him. Most women are all about feelings , i want this, i want that. Relationship is not only about that, it's about what you offer long term as a partner and what you need. See all these divorce rates ? most of them come from woman, they enter marriage just because of emotion, not because of partnership and long term thing. That's why so many divorces are out

there . Men who see and know the statistics won't easily enter into long term relationships or marriage, and that's because you have to trully see if the partner is there for long term or only because they want things , and only in about their emotions. People might not like this response, but it is how it is. Women complain there are not that manny good men out there, while they are being masculine and offer nothing that men value in the long term relationship, i hope this might bring some clarity for some people, peace.

Thank you for your advice maybe time will show.

I think that I offer enough. I always try my best to be nice and loving to the people in my life.

And yes I cooked and even baked for him 😄 and even invited him to a dinner with two of my friends. And I get along with men pretty well.

I am not pushing or begging or even considering being dramatic. I am never dramatic with no one, I am just a little scared to get hurt, but we all are. Yes I would love to have a long term relationship now that I am done with university.

I just got hurt before that's why I told him that I am not sure If I want a relationship either.

best of luck working on this. 😉

Thank u. Probably the only way to go might be to lean back, stay kind and see what happens. If it's meant to be it will happen.

click to expand

One thing i can say about all the men, if you don do something for a man and complain after some time , don't do it. It doesn't come from genuine love and wanting to give. In a long term it hurts both parties.

I suggest you look Marshall's video's to connect with person better. It's really amazing , imformative, and funny asw!

also from what i can see in your relationship from now, you didn't express your sadness and your thoughts about how you think he doesnt want something, you strictly rejected him. While he says he would understand if you would want to cut ties, and shows that he understands you, you don't seem to understand why he doesn't want to commit. Your rejection must have def hurt. Have you ever tried to empathize with his situation and imagine how it is for him? he likes you, and you rejected sex because you couldn't express your feelings. now imagine if he's really thinking long term. You denied sex for him not even being in a relationship, while in relationship you become even less sexual, and in marriage , even more so. He might not say it, but sex is a huge thing, it's basic biology. If he's thinking long term that action alone could have shook him up and made him want to commit even less, because you did that before, you talked about commitment, and now that he didn't agree, you didn't have sex with him . So it's like you're puting pressure on him to commit or he won't get sex from you. He will also def feel that on emotional level aswell. You might have not intended to do that, but you didn't express your feelings and declined sex , you def put pressure on him to commit if he wants sex, so that will not be good for either one of you. If he commits now, he'll start resenting you because you pressured him into it , by denying sex, or he can run away because he doesn't feel like commiting to a person who tries to pressure a person. If i were you i would talk with him and express why you did the things you did, and try to connect with him and hear him from hi's perspective. Best of luck

Thank u! I never saw this side of view. Yesterday we kissed very passionatly and I wanted to sleep with him but this time he was the one who denied sex because he wanted to go home and then kept on talking about his job issues for 30 min. So I listened and comforted him to make him feel better.

After he told me a couple weeks ago that he is not sure If he is ready to commit again, I told him that I can understand where he is coming from because we both had a messy breakup this year. I really try my best to empathize with him!

Sure he likes me and I like him. Sometimes I think it is hard for both of us to do the right move because we are in this weird situation where we try to remain friends and then kiss in the end....

It is not like we are not having deep conversations and being open as well as honest with each other. It just feels like he is hitting the brakes. I really don't want to confuse or pressure him. I am glad that he is at least not running away.

Posted by CoffeeAndCream

Posted by Capricorn95

Thank u! I never saw this side of view. Yesterday we kissed very passionatly and I wanted to sleep with him but this time he was the one who denied sex because he wanted to go home and then kept on talking about his job issues for 30 min. So I listened and comforted him to make him feel better.

After he told me a couple weeks ago that he is not sure If he is ready to commit again, I told him that I can understand where he is coming from because we both had a messy breakup this year. I really try my best to empathize with him!

Sure he likes me and I like him. Sometimes I think it is hard for both of us to do the right move because we are in this weird situation where we try to remain friends and then kiss in the end....

It is not like we are not having deep conversations and being open as well as honest with each other. It just feels like he is hitting the brakes. I really don't want to confuse or pressure him. I am glad that he is at least not running away.

Cancer denying sex, bruh he's just not that into you, he likes to play with you, but he doesn't want you as his main meal

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I denied the sex last time and I guess he felt rejected and denied yesterday because that’s what I did before.

Posted by Capricorn95

I'm super confused why he is not committing even though he is super affectionate towards me, he rememberers everything, tells his friends and family how great I am. He even insisted helping me with moving.

I am very calm and not pushing even though I am super in love with him. I just wonder if I should keep on waiting....or if it is a waste of time.

I am scared that he will hurt my feelings.

Pulling sex in order to initiate a commitment, whether it’s calculated or coming from a place of fear, is sketchy.

As I Cancer I’d see it as disingenuous, pull back and watch.