Confused by Cap woman..

Hi..Im a Gemini man by the way.

I was very close with a Cap woman for quite a while, we were friends and spent all our time together.

I told her I loved her dearly and she rejected me. Told me we are just friends, so I moved on. That was the last time we spoke, and this was 4 years ago. She quickly moved on as well with a new guy and got married.

I respected her decision, and though very painful I kept away and didnt bother her again, no contact whatsoever.

I ran into her at a funeral a couple years later and though we didnt even speak to each other, she kept walking past me.

Now, Im buddies with her cousin so I hang out with him a lot. He recently told me she was having a party and would I mind attending. I declined as I dont want to do that to myself, as Ive moved on.

A couple weeks later he tells me she says 'Hi'..

Then a week later he tells me she liked one of his FB posts but when I checked later she hadnt.

I get the impression they are discussing me. And I felt he lied about the FB post just to find a way to mention her name in my presence. But why?

I cant lie, I think about her often and the way we just ended abruptly never to speak again.

I assume shes curious about how Im doing after all these years, which is normal but she could just ask her cousin how Im doing.

Does she want to be buddy buddy again seeing as I was invited to her party etc, and why would I want to be near her again as shes married now and it'd be akward seeing as how she rejected me. Why would she want to subject me to all that, is she selfish, reckless—

Question is, why now all of a sudden is she asking about me or trying to reach out and whats going on?

I dont understand Cap women, but I can answer your Gem guy issues. Thanks

She's asking him cause she's just curious about the one she let get away, nothing more. If she contacted you directly she knows it could give you hope and she's not looking to give hope.

Posted by GemiGem
Hi..Im a Gemini man by the way.

I was very close with a Cap woman for quite a while, we were friends and spent all our time together.

I told her I loved her dearly and she rejected me. Told me we are just friends, so I moved on. That was the last time we spoke, and this was 4 years ago. She quickly moved on as well with a new guy and got married.

I respected her decision, and though very painful I kept away and didnt bother her again, no contact whatsoever.

I ran into her at a funeral a couple years later and though we didnt even speak to each other, she kept walking past me.

Now, Im buddies with her cousin so I hang out with him a lot. He recently told me she was having a party and would I mind attending. I declined as I dont want to do that to myself, as Ive moved on.

A couple weeks later he tells me she says 'Hi'..

Then a week later he tells me she liked one of his FB posts but when I checked later she hadnt.

I get the impression they are discussing me. And I felt he lied about the FB post just to find a way to mention her name in my presence. But why?

I cant lie, I think about her often and the way we just ended abruptly never to speak again.

I assume shes curious about how Im doing after all these years, which is normal but she could just ask her cousin how Im doing.

Does she want to be buddy buddy again seeing as I was invited to her party etc, and why would I want to be near her again as shes married now and it'd be akward seeing as how she rejected me. Why would she want to subject me to all that, is she selfish, reckless—

Question is, why now all of a sudden is she asking about me or trying to reach out and whats going on?

I dont understand Cap women, but I can answer your Gem guy issues. Thanks

Uh, you got a third party invite; if your cousin said, "Hey! That Cappy woman, btw, said to bring you along" then yeah, it was an invite by her. If you got the third party invite, sorry, she didn't invite you. That's why you didn't attend the party. Either way, I would have attended. I mean, a party is a party! I would have come up to her (hostess) and said, "Hi. I hope you don't mind, my cousin invited me". She would have smiled at you and then I would have had a ball talking to "female" guests; and eyeing her every now and then. Men!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

PS: Is it me? Or am I too romantic?!

She may be curious as to how you have been. Even then its a dead end.

I would keep my distance if i were you. She is married which makes her unavailable.

Thanks for the helpful advice..I loved her before and I still do. I have to be honest. This has been weighing me down for a long time and after reading your responses it felt like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I feel much better actually..I shall still respect her union and I will continue to not make contact with her. Thats the right thing to do, but I hope it isnt akward and uncomfortable when we do finally run into each other.

If you do just say hi, and then run along. Don't linger.

Yeah..I will.

Ill be nice if we ever meet.

From a previous experience, I know that if you stay mad at the one who left you'll never heal. But when youre nice and smile to them, you quickly get over them.

Might I also add that she was quit promiscuous during our time together, but refused to sleep with me. I was friendzoned bad hahahaha..but its all in the past. No need to dwell on it. The advise has been very helpful. Very..I just needed someone to say what I was thinking.

I'm Cap and have been friendzoned by Gem guy (I don't buy the reason I'm too much/too good for him though). We are still best friends though as I moved on. Gems be so weird sometimes...

As for your situation I'd say she still likes you, but as friends

Posted by Liriell
I'm Cap and have been friendzoned by Gem guy (I don't buy the reason I'm too much/too good for him though). We are still best friends though as I moved on. Gems be so weird sometimes...

As for your situation I'd say she still likes you, but as friends

Worst thing is I cannot really complain as Ive friendzoned women myself..relationships are hard and emotional. So much pretending, not being comfortable in your own skin.

If he says youre too good for him, then he's being honest. Stick with him and you'll see a side of him you wont like. He's doing you a favor, and doesnt want to hurt you by you discovering his other twin.

Posted by GemiGem

Posted by Liriell
I'm Cap and have been friendzoned by Gem guy (I don't buy the reason I'm too much/too good for him though). We are still best friends though as I moved on. Gems be so weird sometimes...

As for your situation I'd say she still likes you, but as friends

Worst thing is I cannot really complain as Ive friendzoned women myself..relationships are hard and emotional. So much pretending, not being comfortable in your own skin.

If he says youre too good for him, then he's being honest. Stick with him and you'll see a side of him you wont like. He's doing you a favor, and doesnt want to hurt you by you discovering his other twin.

click to expand

I've already met his other twin, and I'm aware how bad this side can be. I know him for a year - I still don't know him fully (probably I'll never know), but to some extent I know his reaction and thoughts although I'll never fully understand it.

I know we won't make a relationship and if he was interested I'll reject him. We make good friends and that's exactly the kind of relationship I want with him

Posted by Liriell

Posted by GemiGem

Posted by Liriell
I'm Cap and have been friendzoned by Gem guy (I don't buy the reason I'm too much/too good for him though). We are still best friends though as I moved on. Gems be so weird sometimes...

As for your situation I'd say she still likes you, but as friends

Worst thing is I cannot really complain as Ive friendzoned women myself..relationships are hard and emotional. So much pretending, not being comfortable in your own skin.

If he says youre too good for him, then he's being honest. Stick with him and you'll see a side of him you wont like. He's doing you a favor, and doesnt want to hurt you by you discovering his other twin.

I've already met his other twin, and I'm aware how bad this side can be. I know him for a year - I still don't know him fully (probably I'll never know), but to some extent I know his reaction and thoughts although I'll never fully understand it.

I know we won't make a relationship and if he was interested I'll reject him. We make good friends and that's exactly the kind of relationship I want with him

click to expand

Yeah, makes sense..Im telling women nowadays Im just looking to hang out occassionally with a screw every now and then. I dont want the burden and weight of a relationship, seems too forced and tedious though Im still searching for my final relationship with a soul mate. Ill know Ill never find her though.

Update: Her cousin confronts me again about why I still refuse to come around and see her. Tells me she is practially my family seeing how much time we spent together and yet I just vanished into thin air. I dont want to express myself and have to explain how things went bad to him. I figure she's putting pressure on him. Im also a man, so perhaps I have too much pride, but the thought of seeing her again and pretending things are just ok is not me. I dont see what I can benefit from meeting her again and chit chatting. I also dont want to appear as if Im refusing to come around, because it'll make me seem like Im still stuck on her. Afterall, if there are no feelings involved why would I be reluctant to come around? Her motives are odd, but I guess she feels Im over her now and its safe to catch up.

" I dont see what I can benefit from meeting her again and chit chatting."

You are right there is no benefit. She moved on and got married.

You have a right to move on as well.

Posted by Fun4Life

Posted by GemiGem
Update: Her cousin confronts me again about why I still refuse to come around and see her. Tells me she is practially my family seeing how much time we spent together and yet I just vanished into thin air. I dont want to express myself and have to explain how things went bad to him. I figure she's putting pressure on him. Im also a man, so perhaps I have too much pride, but the thought of seeing her again and pretending things are just ok is not me. I dont see what I can benefit from meeting her again and chit chatting. I also dont want to appear as if Im refusing to come around, because it'll make me seem like Im still stuck on her. Afterall, if there are no feelings involved why would I be reluctant to come around? Her motives are odd, but I guess she feels Im over her now and its safe to catch up.

Heh GemiGem....I've known a couple of Cappy women - both LTR's.

They are very loyal, and I'd bet she would NOT be reaching out to you without a reason.

I'd suspect things aren't going too well with the husband, and she needs some sort of support from you.

I would be very careful with this, as it appears you are, because she has motives and there's no easy way to find out what those are without some direct contact.

click to expand

Whats an LTR? Im still into her I have to admit, so Im very apprehensive about meeting her even after 4 years. If she wasnt married Id be there in a heartbeat, but I have to show respect to her man.

I also dont want to seem to be avoiding her as that gives the impression Im still upset and havent moved on and still stuck on her when I should have recovered by now. Ill meet her whenever we meet, but I get the feeling Ill be cordial but pretending to be over her.

If you have time and feel like it, go.

If not, you don't owe it to her to attend. Only go if you will be comfortable imo.

I'm a cap woman and I can tell you we will do things like this, If we really like someone. We will break it off and not have ANY CONTACT it makes things to complicated for our faithful nature to have contact with someone we like while in a relationship. We won't tempt ourselves. If she is reaching out this could be 2 different things She is breaking it off with her current relationship or she could be over you now and is OK with being in your present with out temptation..... Really only way to tell tho. Go to the party but dont linger. Just say your hi's and bounce if she wants you she will reach out again ? can only tell you what I would do as a cap woman

I'm a cap woman and I can tell you we will do things like this, If we really like someone. We will break it off and not have ANY CONTACT it makes things to complicated for our faithful nature to have contact with someone we like while in a relationship. We won't tempt ourselves. If she is reaching out this could be 2 different things She is breaking it off with her current relationship or she could be over you now and is OK with being in your presence with out temptation..... Really only way to tell tho. Go to the party but dont linger. Just say your hi's and bounce if she wants you she will reach out again ? can only tell you what I would do as a cap woman

Posted by Brittp92
I'm a cap woman and I can tell you we will do things like this, If we really like someone. We will break it off and not have ANY CONTACT it makes things to complicated for our faithful nature to have contact with someone we like while in a relationship. We won't tempt ourselves. If she is reaching out this could be 2 different things She is breaking it off with her current relationship or she could be over you now and is OK with being in your presence with out temptation..... Really only way to tell tho. Go to the party but dont linger. Just say your hi's and bounce if she wants you she will reach out again ? can only tell you what I would do as a cap woman

She looks happy in her FB photos with her family. Im actually happy for her because she has two kids and a well off husband. very dude whose presence killed off me and her. At least he has given her the things Id have never given her, kids and a marriage. Im a Gemini, so I wont bring kids into this world if Im not ready. Very few Gems abandon their kids. You get that shlt from other less developed, more primitive signs. Id have not married her either, as the thought petrifies me. But when in love am monogamous and faithful.

She a hard partying girl from when we still were together, so I dont know if she has managed the transition to house-wife. Im no longer bitter, so if she reaches out again Ill pass by and keep it brief