Should I be concerned? (Page 3)

Bi-polar—

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by truecap

then I would accept it whether I like it or not.

I haven't said anything to her about it. I'm not interfering with her relationship. She's grown. There's nothing I can do about it. I know this.

Still concerned though. And concern does not equate to interference.

Accepting her and believing in here are two entirely different things.

And you missed my point entirely. But, I'm now seeing that you are incapable. For some reason, I guess Capricorns are unable to realize that humans act like it. I didn't know that about them. I really didn't. All these years I thought that they lived.

click to expand

There's a reason I posted this on the capricorn board and not on a general board.

Your opinions are welcome, but I'm not interested in getting beat up over my concern. I feel the way I feel and I'm not going to apologize for it.

^ + 100 truecap

Posted by crabflows
aren't Capricorn into old people when it comes to dating, then why would you not want your daughter to date what your both into, let her the only concern should yeah with the tattoos etc, my daughter hummmmm no but otherwise don't be concern when she date older men when you do to

WTF— Who said I dated old people?

My boyfriend is only two years older than me.

She hasn't introduced him to anyone.

Posted by Chance15
Why can't she go out with a creepy douchebag her own age

LOL!

Could be just a question of taste. The only 20-something I've fallen in love with in my entire life was a Cap who looked 15 years older.

Posted by truecap

Posted by P-Angel

And you are wrong.
This isn't loving your child. This is wanting to control your child ... who's an adult.
Loving your adult daughter when she in the throes of new lover SHOULD take the form of extreme happiness for her.
If you are making a thread to discuss this in detail, and have many inputs then that means you are honoring this paranoid feeling you have, and that is the reason why you needed to come and get validated for it.
So, that means it IS the energy you carry around. So, instead of putting off exciting vibes for her, you putting off paranoid and doubtful ones.
You're not looking out for her well-being, at all ... you're looking out for fulfilling your need to control. If you were looking out for her well-being, then this thread would be about how excited you are that your daughter (whom you taught) has found a love.

I asked if I should be concerned. I am concerned. I did wonder if that concern was valid. Wanted to get some opinions on it.
I am wondering about his motivation. He could be manipulative. He could be controlling. He could be a pervert only interested in sex with a naive young girl (and she is naive and very gullible). He could be after a lot of things. The 40 year old men on here really confirmed that I should be concerned about his intentions.
However, I realize that he could have good intentions. He could be a great guy. I don't know. I admitted that I didn't know him in my first post on this.
I'm not robbing her of her happiness. If she is truly happy and he is a good guy with good intentions, and he treats her well, then I would accept it whether I like it or not.
I haven't said anything to her about it. I'm not interfering with her relationship. She's grown. There's nothing I can do about it. I know this.
Still concerned though. And concern does not equate to interference.

click to expand

it's good you are a concerned mother though. But if she wants/desires/loves to be with this man, there's nothing on earth that will stop her. Of course, if he loves her back. That's the only thing that will stop her, if he tells her to get lost, and he doesn't love her. It may devastate her but it may relieve you.

but we don't know what your daughter is like. You said she's stubborn, well, if that's so, there's nothing you can do. Like i said, the only way is that HE himself doesn't want her. But it looks like they are in this together. Like Mallory and Knox:

width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Slwpt4gtCNg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>

i'm j/k, but you get what i mean here.

Posted by truecap
Hopefully, you younger folks can throw some insight on it.

Would you date someone 20 years older? Why?

As far as him, WTH would he want someone so much younger? My thoughts on this aspect are not so good. Young impressionable girl? Someone he can control? Mid life crises? Regaining his youth? Young piece of a $ $ ?

She usually sees people for a short while and then they irritate her and she dumps them. Hoping this will be the case here.

I am 24 and don't prefer to date someone that old. As far as your daughter is concerned The only reason i see behind this could be the maturity she is looking for someone mature. you should talk to your daughter first then meet the guy before jumping to any conclusion.

Update: I saw my daughter Saturday. She told me all about this guy. We were just having conversation and I told her when I first got on match.com that I had 65 year old men messaging me, the same age difference, and I always wondered why they didn't have someone their own age and thought they were too old and wrinkly for me. She was like 'ewwwwww'. We went on to light hearted banter and I asked her why she like older guys. She said 'because they like the things I like and can take care of me. Guys my age are selfish'. I told her I could understand that and why she was attracted to that. She said 'I really don't have anything in common with people my own age, even girls. All my friends except one are older than me. Music for instance, I like Johnny Cash and David Allen Cole and they like Kanye and Beyonce - nothing in common.' I teased her and told her she was a typical capricorn, an old soul. She laughed and agreed. Then she said, 'Mom, you don't need to worry. He's getting on my nerves and I'm probably going to dump him soon.' I said 'well, they ALL get on your nerves. When you finally find one that doesn't, you should keep them because when they start getting on your nerves, it only gets worse'. She said 'ain't that the truth!'.