the dumping garden (Page 23)

Awww, he sounds sweet Sangfroid. Happy Anniversary!!

Perspective, people!
I've been killing myself for two months trying to lose weight. Been exercising, dieting, etc.

A few weeks ago I lost the dieting, pretty much. I was irritable, pretty much a bitch, because I was starving.
I've been trying the Insanity program but right now I have too much on my plate to commit to 6 days a week of workouts. So i told the Scorp yesterday I was giving up on it until the summer, when I'm off from work.

He said he didn't know why I was obsessing, and he hated how irritable I had been so he was glad I am giving up for now. He said he accepts me how I am, that he feels attracted to me.

He's said that before. I told him that it doesn't matter what he thinks, I wasn't doing it for him, I was doing it so I could feel better.

Anyway, today, I ran into a (Virgo) colleague I haven't seen in awhile.
He says, "Hi! How are you? You are looking really healthy these days."
I said, "Well, thanks, but what do you mean?"
He said, "Well, last year you really were getting too skinny. I was getting worried about you!"

I'm a dork but I totally want to play this game.

I think I'm living in a dream... maybe it's like that movie where the guy doesn't know when he's asleep or awake. When I'm with the Aries I certainly cannot be awake!

Posted by lildol
I think I'm living in a dream... maybe it's like that movie where the guy doesn't know when he's asleep or awake. When I'm with the Aries I certainly cannot be awake!

aww. Happy for you! 🙂

Speaking of dreams, Mr. Scorp woke up this morning, yelling at me:

"Nancy, it's 5:30 AM and you've been talking about blades for an hour already!"
lol. He must've been dreaming.

I was like, "What kind of blades?" lol.

Sounds like how I would respond lol

Welp, my summer is looking like it will consist of me working 2jobs and going to school. All seven days of the week filled. For some reason, i do my best when i have too much going on....i think i need this. :/

There are a lot of films that can try to communicate more complex philosophical, spiritual, and even poetically transcendent thought. Someone mentioned, Tarkovsky's "Solaris" as a reference point for spirituality. Good movie. Good example.

I really liked the Ok-Go "Say the Same Thing" clip too. It was true and funny 🙂

My mars is in Aries.

...39 years old. Not really looking to meet anyone new, but really enjoying the things people are sharing on DXP instead of focusing on my "relationship." Quotes intentional. And no, I don't want to talk about it right now.

Virgos are too cute and Im wondering if they are a bit impulsive with their affections towards Caps.

I still run into the older Virgo guyy in the apts, and he doesnt hug me as much anymore, but one of the reasons it didnt bother me was because it was like an impulsive thing for him. Like he had to or needed to give me a hug.

Today my niece had her preschool graduation, which was so adorable, and her whole family on her fathers side came. One of her aunts is a Virgo, and we are not that far in age at all. We dont see eachother often, so we gave eacother a hug, and she hugged me tight then planted a big one on my cheek. It was just soo random imo, but random in a good way. I guess it felt random because we are not that close, both grown, and it wasnt a little cutesy peck lol. I didnt mind, but it seemed a bit impulsive too. Maybe Im just reading into things? I thought it was cute though. I think Virgos are cute in ways/personality.

Posted by Stinger Baby
screw that. i'm joining the navy. seriously wanna see the world.

I have two friends in the military, both Caps too...guy and a girl. Neither seem to regret it. It really does seem like a fairly good opportunity to see the world.

I can understand Cap and Virgo. I felt a silent understanding from a Virgo once, but I've never been involved with one personally.

Joining the Navy might be cool.

I have to catch up on laundry and dishes. Just caught up on sleep....

Coast Guard vs. Navy

Consider.

i really really really want to disappear into another part of the world where i can be happy and no one can find me.

*sighhhh*

i keep telling you i love you but you dont hear me

Seeing you at work and knowing that you are there is probably going to end up killing me from a stress-induced heart attack.

if i were perfect...

What is perfect? That's a matter of opinion. One person's idea of perfect is not going to be the same as another's version.

We are all perfect in our own fucked up way 🙂

I'm not a note taker either!

My heartbroken rant:

I'm head over heels for a cap that might not be interested in me no longer. I think I gave it to him too easy, so it's probably my fault. Why did I have to tell him I like him? Why did I text him even though he ignored my text? Why was it so wrong? I was just being honest. Why did everything change? I miss him, I miss the guy that used to treat me like a queen.
I hate how I see him everyday and the fact that we act like we don't know each other. I hate the fact that I can't help but to pretend like I don't like him anymore, and that I can't look at him cause I'm too scared to see his dead cold empty eyes that once used to be so bright and full of amusement.
I hate the fact that none of this is a fact, but possibly just over analyzing.
I like him so much, it hurts to see us like this.

I'm so over work today! I want to go home.

If he's truly moved on then I can understand why his eyes probably look that way to you. My eyes don't express anything for anyone I don't feel anything intimate for. That's reserved for close friends, family, husband, sons and loved ones but not just anyone no matter how long I've known them or how I used to know them. I don't even glare at people I don't like, they get the same spacey/cold stare everyone else gets. It's not something I can control and I can't put on a look.

Everyone is different, he's not neccessarily anything like me. I hope you find love with someone more compatible with you. I do think it's a bit callous not to end things on a friendly note but maybe he just can't find the words or is a spacey goat like me and just moved on mentally and forgot?! With no intend of hurting you?

I don't know anymore. I thought he had, but today he greeted me and I greeted him back but he looked to be in shock when I didn't make an effort to talk to him all day. Instead he looked concerned and kept looking back at me watching me walk away. He had that anticipating look on his face.. I don't like liking people, it gets to be too complicated. or am I just being complicated?
also I appreciate the reply. thank you.

I think a protein bar and coffee gives me too much energy for work in the morning. I'm really hyper and ADHD lately.

privacy: freedom from intrusion

places i am safe

where i have freedom to be me

they are hallowed on my skin...

sacred with the air

and untouchable in my heart

i want to share these places with you

lol!

I love sushi. It's such an efficient meal.

2600!!

i was just having an interesting chat with a colleague that is mormon.

first we started on astrology. then we got into the cosmos.

then we were talking about faith and i was telling him what questions pushed me away from religion a while ago when i was 18.

i dont usually talk to people about that kind of stuff. in fact i cant remember the last time i shared that with anyone. it kind of made me realize a few things about myself.

he had asked if it was college or some life event that distanced me. i told him it was a simple question of why is it that i am so afraid of what i dont know? and while i was religious i always wondered why people have such different views about heaven. it's because none of us actually know, nor are we ever going to know until we get there. but how is it that so many people of the same faith can have such different ideas?

and my questions made me realize that religion was simply an answer. that's my belief. and it's that exact line of questioning that made me walk away from it.

he told me that those were the exact questions that joseph smith started asking before he revived their faith.

so i brought it back to astrology and pointed out that joseph smith shares my exact birthday. lol

Holy SHIT! I was off a few hours and look what happened 😭

I hate change, hate it, hate it, hate it. I just finally got used to the last changes BLAH (albeit these changes do not appear as dramatic).

Or maybe my memory fails me... that could be it.

The forum you mean? It is quite different, I give you that. The upside is that I can now actually tell how long ago the last post was. 20 mins ago is a lot easier for me than 7:19PM CSTDTFYWEHDF... or whatever you people use in the U.S. 😛

Posted by M

Posted by lildol
Holy SHIT! I was off a few hours and look what happened 😭

I hate change, hate it, hate it, hate it. I just finally got used to the last changes BLAH (albeit these changes do not appear as dramatic).

Saying what I'm thinking...Haha... 😉

Oh well. Hopefully things became more streamlined.

click to expand

Great minds 😉

Ooh, a tip I just learned- if you click on the date of the thread it takes you to the most recent post. First time I've been able to read this thread today because I didn't have the patience to click through the pages.

Met a Gemini for the 1st time yesterday.

From him not taking the hint that I didnt want to talk, to him casually mentioning he just got out of jail an hour before, to him clearly already finding the nearest liquor store smelling like he spritzed on alcohol cologne. Crazy experience lol, but he had to be the cutest guy Ive seen in a long while....like extremely handsome. Only 28 and is already letting himself go as far as life style . Underneath it all he seemed like a genuinely sweet guy. I nearly wanted to tell him "stop doing this to yourself" as far as the drinking etc. He was just much cute and sweet for the way he is living...a lot of potential.

Im rethinking wanting a Gemini lol, jk

i

i want to hate myself but i can't

I volunteered to work this morning, but I cancelled....wasnt feeling well, but Im scheduled to work 3rd shift tonight at another job. Ugh.

I dont work this job or shift too often, but the one thing i love about it is having to walk at night.. I feel so free and at peace for some reason.

A few weeks back my sis and I walked the trail around 7:30pm. That was the latest Id ever been out there, and hardly anyone was on it, a first. It was nearly dark as we were walking back and I told my sis how i felt an urge to go out there alone that time of day. She thought i was crazy for even thinking that, but Im convinced Id run atleast 3miles non stop, and I dont even run. I feel it would be something about the darkness, and having the 64 mile trail almost to myself that would fuel me. I feel alive at night lol.

I hate how certain things are considered "dangerous", and we are made to be cautious and live in fear when it comes to things like that, especially as women. Forget that.

After a wonderful weekend, it's back to work today. 4 days of work, then vacation! so excited.

Vacation? To Vegas— 😛

Nah, Myrtle Beach. 😛

We are not going to just get married, anyway. There will be no Vegas wedding. The Virgo (his mother) will not have it and she called him a cheapskate, because she said he was trying to get out of buying a ring. Then on Saturday we went to the mall and he asked me to go find out my ring size. lol.

So much for the element of surprise... maybe he'll propose at the beach 🙂

If he does, you best promise to give us ALL the details woman!!

After all the talk, let's hope it's not like "Here!" and he just hands it to you...

Oh I am sure if it happens I will be on here spilling everything. lol.

Posted by Chance11

Posted by CreepyPants
i want to hate myself but i can't

it's ok, we can't either 🙂

i saw the same giant porcupine two nights in a row during the full moon..i think it's having an extra species tryst with the big raccoon that lives nearby

click to expand

golly... thanks. ^_^

I'm in a really weird place right now with my personal life. limbo. diving into work seems to help. my cap tendencies are going into high gear... dive into work to escape my personal life and confused emotions. actually, work always seems to help with the confusion. it helps me cut through bs and be more decided ...sorta. there are so many factors to consider though and those factors include sentient beings.

here goes...

My grandbaby's coming to work today 😄

I get to show her off 😄 😄 😄

(not a proud grandma, not a grandma, too young, nope, ain't having it 😛)

aww! she is adorable!

SHE IS, ISN'T SHE!!! 😄

She started interactively smiling around 4 weeks old which is young - they say typically it's not until around 2-3 months - but she's bright like her mom (def the bf does not get credit for such)... at 7 weeks (as you can see) she's a little ham!

thanks Sang 🙂

and whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOAAAA!!!

whoa.

everybody calm down.

serious cap girl?? 🙂 wedding bells? eeeeeeeee!!!!!! dang! that's very exciting