the dumping garden (Page 30)

Sorry to hear that lildoll.

Thanks guys! Dusting self off, fixing makeup, going to lunch with the Leeb. He knows, I just could use the co.

I ran the Aries down while he was walking to work, not what I hoped for.

I tried. 😭

Still will see him daily at work...yeah life is good :-\ 😭

Sorry to hear that lildol - hugs

Inana - hugs

😭 WHY? He say's he cares, just not enough WTF? Seems so easy for him...

hugs all around

i've been feeling very chaotic lately and it's starting to make me feel nauseous

Can't sleep. Feeling anxious. Closing on my house tomorrow and the guy buying it is a jerk. I just met him tonight and I don't want him to have this house I built with love.

Can't sleep. Feeling anxious. Closing on my house tomorrow and the guy buying it is a jerk. I just met him tonight and I don't want him to have this house I built with love.

I feel like crying. I knew these emotions were going to hit. I just didn't know when. I didn't want to sell this house. Had to, to satisfy the divorce decree. I've been so stoic. Such a trooper. Trying to be excited about the change and buying another house. But damnit! I love this house.

Bricks and mortar. Thats all it is. Its just a material thing, right? Then why does it hurt so much?

Also feel silly for feeling so attached to an inanimate object.

Aww truecap. I dont think its silly to feel that way at all. Id say sit somewhere quietly, with pen and paper, and start writing...just so you can release some of the emotions. Hopefully a bit of release will make you feel better.

I love you guys 🙂

Truecap, I can understand why you'd be upset. Certainly it's material, but at the same time YOU built it and it is a sense you're baby. As you said, built with love. Now you have to give it up to an asshole who won't appreciate it the same you do. We all have to move on at some point though 😭 ((hugs))

my energy has been zapped :\

Posted by CreepyPants
hugs all around

that is just so cute.

i told my husband we need to buy a small farm with baby animals so me and the kids in the family someday can huggle and cuddle them.

i feel that he just wants me all to himself, so he avoids the topic of cute animals. LOL

So, who's who in all the pics, creepy? I assume the brunette there is a baby pic of lildol, but I can't tell for sure. 😛

Goat thread?
I've got you all.

Saw him in the hall, gave him a hug. He asked if I was doing ok... sure! Yup, just fine :/

The Leeb who wanted to ask me out just that afternoon before he broke up with me has been a god send 🙂 Thinks I was in love though, go figure.

I'm still sick.

Some guy who I know tried to move in on me last night, couldn't even kiss him. Not that I wanted to, but REALLY!? I'm good at throwing Leo's away though 🙂 That's my strength, ruining Leos!!! Certainly, I can be proud of it. I need to be giving advice over on that board more often LOL

Love the pics. Too cute!!

I got to play with a praying mantis last night. Cute as shit!!! Looked right at me while I was talking to it. People thought I was nuts. Whatever! I really don't give a damn!!!

Chance?? NO!

ugh... poop 😢

Came on here to say how proud I am of the caps and the participants of this thread going on for 7 yrs that it has remained untouched by the sleazy hands of drama

well kid 🙂 (that was a pun) if you are reading this... good luck to you as i'm sure you are off grazing greener pastures 😛

xoxo

🙂

lildol... xoxoxo

Posted by ellessque
lately, this site has become really ugly and volatile.

used to be a gentle banter here and there with very little to no personal insults.

it's pretty damn disgusting.

yea... it's become a zoo. i agree. very zoo-ey

@CP ... Congrats on the 7 years, it's the chilling spot for our hearts, minds, emotions and thoughts.

Posted by Rays Heart
@CP ... Congrats on the 7 years, it's the chilling spot for our hearts, minds, emotions and thoughts.

and you've had a big contribution to this 🙂 thank you

I haven't been on in a few days. Been moving... 🙂

Thanks for the support yall.

I'd like to say how much I appreciate this thread. It gives me an outlet for a variety of frustrations, feelings, thoughts, observations - and the people on here are great! And supportive!

Truecap- good to see you back !!
Missed ya x

When I try to do something nice for Cap gals why do some people feel it necessary to post to brings down or to a crashing halt?

and the moral of the story is...

whatever it takes, tell them you love them

i spent the last few years doing what i thought i wanted and what i thought was making me happy.

i left a majority of my family out of my plans. it's how i was raised. to just take them for granted because obviously there's no such thing as sickness, mortality, nobody ever dies and they'll all always be around.

after a short amount of time, my grandfather developed alzheimer's. no disease is more heart wrenching than another. but it probably seems like the one you are confronted with is the worst.

i didn't know how to deal. so i didnt. I've been saying to myself, 'yea i'll visit this next holiday' for a few years now.

my grandfather is the kindest, most gentle, selfless, helpful, beautiful souls i've ever known and may ever know. he has always been there for the entire family anytime a strong hand was needed. he was most definitely taken for granted.

he loves to sing. he always wears a black leather fanny pack to carry his things and a newsboy cap. he would always ask me to play some of his barber shop chords on the piano so he could learn the right key to sing in. he loves to garden. he loves john deere. he loves fishing. loves tack. he loves snickers bars. A LOT. he has a beautiful voice, distinct mannerisms, and just isms in general. a real character.

i remember i was being picked up from his house by a bf once. he walked me out and just eyed my bf... genuinely fiercely protective. oooh, he gave my bf such a stink eye.

when i was taking off to california to live, he was fighting back tears and had to turn away and make a quick goodbye.

i don't know that i'll ever feel as much unconditional or compassionate love from a family member.

he was there for me so many times... call on him and he's there.

he just had a stroke today. on top of the memory stripping disease, his prognosis is weak at best.

and i've not told him how much i love him in a long time.

i love you, Paga. I dont know how I'll ever be able to forgive myself, and there's no making up for it now, but I've learned my lesson.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I was about to dump then I read ur post so I'll save it for another day.

Keep ur head up honey...

CP - lots of hugs xxx

Awww Creepy. We falter at times. Life get's in the way. He knows that you love him!

*hugs*

He understands, Creepy. It sounds like you picked up everything he wanted for you. 🙂

thanks for the support all. i have a long road trying to square with my conscience.

docs say he doesnt have much time. maybe a day. maybe. i fly out after a short morning of work tomorrow. i hope he goes peacefully and quickly.

but i'd still like to be there :\ my brother and i coincidentally have the same flight even though his starts in california... he stops in vegas. we'll be able to reflect for several hours before meeting up with the rest of the fam. our grandpa has been like a second father to us and our lil sis.

listen to your heart. do what you know is right. never ever take your loved ones for granted ...because their time will come and what they mean to you will come rushing at you if you didnt recognize it before

such simple things to know and remember, yet here i am knocked on my ass by them.

he is as perfect as men get.

You know you are in our hearts and we feel your sorrow.

*hugs*

(wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a real one to help ease your pain)

I wish there were something I could do. 😢

DON"T DELETE YOUR TOPICS

I give much, way too much in some people's eyes. Want to better everyone. Carry their weight, their stress, their pain. I have always thought of myself as unselfish as a result. But, I realize, doing what I do makes me selfish as giving, lifting, supporting and being there for those who need me makes me feel good.

Yes, my name is Lildol, I am a Cap and I selfishly give because it makes me feel good.

^^^ "Need" is a strong word - not need from THEIR perspective, need from MY perspective...

hugs all around again...



he passed while i was on my way to Michigan. :\

he's such a wonderful guy... no one could draw up a single bad memory of him if they tried. and no one has ever heard him say a bad thing about anyone.

it helps that we all have endless great memories of him.