borednbeautiful
@borednbeautiful
3 Years1,000+ Posts
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Dating and cultural differences (Page 2)
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Posted by GenericUsername
All of the European men I've met are the epitome of toxic masculinity in my book. All of my life I thought that our men were like that, but it's the exact opposite. Maybe because we were a communist state and communism saw both genders as workers. So I don't like our guys nor do I like Europeans. There are a lot of Turkish men over here but I can't see myself with one because they are very annoying in the way they approach ( through DMs ) and persistent ( for them NOx1000 times means yes )
American men are nothing special either.
Posted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by DKPosted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
I like you Germans. Have you ever been to Flensburg? That’s a city I really like.
I’ve been to Flensburg many times. When I lived in Esbjerg (DK), I would go to nearest German city for food and alcohol. I went with train.
Good city and good memories. Some of my friends said they also like Potsdam, Germany.
I prefer a place that has access to the sea. Water somehow always attracts me. I like coastal regions the most.
Aren’t you from a coastal city though?
Water is cool. Any place you feel in alignment with and like the vibes = cool. It’s more than just geophysical features, it’s how it makes you feel!
Yes. And I was born and growing up in such a place too. Some breeze caressing me, the sound of waves… it makes me feel alive.
Yeah, it gives me a calming vibe. But I like warm sea breeze vs.cold sea 🌊
I like anything sea. But I don’t stand heat very well.
I think I’d like this Dubrovnik place. The pictures I was shown looked pretty! Amazing old town.
Honestly, it’s overrated and too expensive. People have terrible and snobby attitude, they are rude as fuck! Oops, sorry, I guess that makes me rude too 😅
You’re funny 😂
I like this Makarska area, it looks so exotic to me.
You did your research, I see.
Your date has left a quite an impression on you. When are you going to see this young lady again?
And yeah, it’s beautiful and sunny 🌞 🌺 🌸
I liked listening to her, and she was a very nice person too, we spent hours together in the city and it was fun. But I really want someone who is more of my own age and who I could see a future with.
Don’t be hang up on the age factor. I personally like younger guys. If it works, it works.
But of course, to each their own. Everyone has their preferences.
I said I’m more for someone of my own age but I’m not looking anymore. I’ll travel the world and have some uncommitted fun here and there and that’s it.
Gemini season is tough on me anyway as it reminds me of someone who passed away. I don’t like this time of year. It’s no time for me to begin anything really.
That sounds like a good attitude to have! Don’t feel pressured to commit unless you truly feel it and want it, deep inside.
And I am sorry to hear about your sad event.
Gemini season should make people feel happy and alive and fun and light. But I haven’t been feeling that way either. Mostly I am just feeling irritated 😤 😠
Hopefully, it passes when this retrograde is over or whatever else is happening in the sky.
What irritates you?
For me it’s not so much retrograde but anniversaries. Her birthday is upcoming 2nd of June. Maybe if life had been different I would have been married. But that’s long ago. In a few years I’m hitting the fifth decade so I don’t expect anything anymore. I have a comfortable life, maybe I’ll retire in a couple of years and just travel and follow my curiosity about history and architecture.
Maybe you will find love along the way 😍
Plenty of women around. But it sounds to me like you gave up a bit.
Losing someone you love can be difficult to get over, indeed.
And just stupid, small stuff irritates me. It will pass.
I’m probably not the easiest person to be with. And it’s difficult to find someone who is interested in you and not just in a good life. Also it would need someone cultivated, well read I can have interesting talks with. And with a globetrotter mentality.
Are there any dating websites where you can input all that info in and seek women with similar interests?
European women usually are well read and love to travel. I mean, I have a couple of friends if you’d like to be introduced some day…
But probably best if it happens organically. I hate being set up with anyone, personally.
And where is the passion in all of that? Or are you just planning to discuss Renaissance history and books all night long? 😛click to expand
I don’t like dating sites or staged appointments. Never did.
Oh, I’m a very affectionate and sexual person. But I don’t talk about my preferences or needs in public. I’m somewhat old school anyway, I prefer something physical instead of talking about it.
Posted by borednbeautifulPosted by GenericUsername
All of the European men I've met are the epitome of toxic masculinity in my book. All of my life I thought that our men were like that, but it's the exact opposite. Maybe because we were a communist state and communism saw both genders as workers. So I don't like our guys nor do I like Europeans. There are a lot of Turkish men over here but I can't see myself with one because they are very annoying in the way they approach ( through DMs ) and persistent ( for them NOx1000 times means yes )
American men are nothing special either.click to expand
That leaves the Aliens...
Posted by borednbeautifulPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
What's your dating culture like and how does it differ from the American style that you noticed?
The biggest thing is that the whole gender conflict isn't even remotely as important as in the american discourse.
Mainly because feminism never really spread in German and only a fairly small number of germans are on Twitter.
Generally speaking most germans are extremely romantic when it comes to love and the expectations while also being suprisingly down to earth. Another thing is that most find their partners somewhat organically via friend circles or via community actvities.
I only realized a lot of those things after watching the american DXP on dating and wondering if it is a cultural or if I'm just weird. The I looked a at how american for example perceive german dating. Things like this don't get everything, but still mostly right:
https://mademoisellein.de/a-dummys-guide-to-dating-a-german
This was such a great article!!!! WOW! I wish things were this easy here! No games whatsoever.
I LOL'd at this part-
"Your self-deprecating humor leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health."
As funny as I think I am, for it to be taken as a mental illness 😆
Now I'm jealous that it's so easy and direct.
And you understand my dilemma with date with that pharmacist guy!!!
When you are an American but not really…and neither here nor there. It’s really confusing and difficult for me 😭click to expand
Are you in Germany?
Posted by saggurl88Posted by borednbeautifulPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
What's your dating culture like and how does it differ from the American style that you noticed?
The biggest thing is that the whole gender conflict isn't even remotely as important as in the american discourse.
Mainly because feminism never really spread in German and only a fairly small number of germans are on Twitter.
Generally speaking most germans are extremely romantic when it comes to love and the expectations while also being suprisingly down to earth. Another thing is that most find their partners somewhat organically via friend circles or via community actvities.
I only realized a lot of those things after watching the american DXP on dating and wondering if it is a cultural or if I'm just weird. The I looked a at how american for example perceive german dating. Things like this don't get everything, but still mostly right:
https://mademoisellein.de/a-dummys-guide-to-dating-a-german
This was such a great article!!!! WOW! I wish things were this easy here! No games whatsoever.
I LOL'd at this part-
"Your self-deprecating humor leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health."
As funny as I think I am, for it to be taken as a mental illness 😆
Now I'm jealous that it's so easy and direct.
And you understand my dilemma with date with that pharmacist guy!!!
When you are an American but not really…and neither here nor there. It’s really confusing and difficult for me 😭
Are you in Germany?click to expand
No. Similar dating culture though and my dating experiences (past) is mostly American.
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
What's your dating culture like and how does it differ from the American style that you noticed?
The biggest thing is that the whole gender conflict isn't even remotely as important as in the american discourse.
Mainly because feminism never really spread in German and only a fairly small number of germans are on Twitter.
Generally speaking most germans are extremely romantic when it comes to love and the expectations while also being suprisingly down to earth. Another thing is that most find their partners somewhat organically via friend circles or via community actvities.
I only realized a lot of those things after watching the american DXP on dating and wondering if it is a cultural or if I'm just weird. The I looked a at how american for example perceive german dating. Things like this don't get everything, but still mostly right:
https://mademoisellein.de/a-dummys-guide-to-dating-a-german
This was such a great article!!!! WOW! I wish things were this easy here! No games whatsoever.
I LOL'd at this part-
"Your self-deprecating humor leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health."
As funny as I think I am, for it to be taken as a mental illness 😆
Now I'm jealous that it's so easy and direct.
I wouldn't say it is super easy. You will still have the same shitty people around here you have in your states.
For every good aspect there usually will be a bad one too. From what I've read for example most foreign women often are completly devasted because they feel like they don't get any attention from german men. Depending on how long they stick to their old approach it can turn into a very painful experience.click to expand
Hahahaha! that's actually pretty funny lol
Maybe if they had a personality and didn't rely on their looks so much, things would be a little better.
As far as I read, If a German man wants to ask you out he does, so there doesn't seem to be much confusion. You move on if there is no interest or build a friendship first.
Seems fairly straightforward.
Posted by borednbeautifulPosted by saggurl88Posted by borednbeautifulPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
What's your dating culture like and how does it differ from the American style that you noticed?
The biggest thing is that the whole gender conflict isn't even remotely as important as in the american discourse.
Mainly because feminism never really spread in German and only a fairly small number of germans are on Twitter.
Generally speaking most germans are extremely romantic when it comes to love and the expectations while also being suprisingly down to earth. Another thing is that most find their partners somewhat organically via friend circles or via community actvities.
I only realized a lot of those things after watching the american DXP on dating and wondering if it is a cultural or if I'm just weird. The I looked a at how american for example perceive german dating. Things like this don't get everything, but still mostly right:
https://mademoisellein.de/a-dummys-guide-to-dating-a-german
This was such a great article!!!! WOW! I wish things were this easy here! No games whatsoever.
I LOL'd at this part-
"Your self-deprecating humor leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health."
As funny as I think I am, for it to be taken as a mental illness 😆
Now I'm jealous that it's so easy and direct.
And you understand my dilemma with date with that pharmacist guy!!!
When you are an American but not really…and neither here nor there. It’s really confusing and difficult for me 😭
Are you in Germany?
No. Similar dating culture though and my dating experiences (past) is mostly American.click to expand
Oh, well the guy gave you his number to call. So you were supposed to make contact. Seems like a typical Leo Moon approach would be a good thing since you guys go after what you want and don't play games. You being yourself should be fine where you are.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by ArgusPosted by MyStarsShine
I loved Zell, Lubeck and Heidelberg in Germany
Zell (Mosel)
You've been to Hidelberg, Star!?
Yes it was about 10 or 11 years ago...my guy moved to Germany for work so I got to see a few places and had lots of fun 😍🔥
Have you been there, Argus?click to expand
Oh lovely! Isn't it fascinating how opportunities we might have never even dreamt of present themselves to us?! 💜
As a matter of fact, I have many moons ago. Several times for that matter, but strictly work related as my then boss used to ever so frequently send me to attend seminars/courses. I haven't done much of sightseeing & the little bit I did was under serious time restrains....nevertheless, such a vibrant yet quaint city for its size.
Posted by MyStarsShine
@Argus
I stood on this bridge and loved the views 😍
Such a rich heritage! I could spend hours getting lost 😬👍❣️
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
What's your dating culture like and how does it differ from the American style that you noticed?
The biggest thing is that the whole gender conflict isn't even remotely as important as in the american discourse.
Mainly because feminism never really spread in German and only a fairly small number of germans are on Twitter.
Generally speaking most germans are extremely romantic when it comes to love and the expectations while also being suprisingly down to earth. Another thing is that most find their partners somewhat organically via friend circles or via community actvities.
I only realized a lot of those things after watching the american DXP on dating and wondering if it is a cultural or if I'm just weird. The I looked a at how american for example perceive german dating. Things like this don't get everything, but still mostly right:
https://mademoisellein.de/a-dummys-guide-to-dating-a-german
This was such a great article!!!! WOW! I wish things were this easy here! No games whatsoever.
I LOL'd at this part-
"Your self-deprecating humor leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health."
As funny as I think I am, for it to be taken as a mental illness 😆
Now I'm jealous that it's so easy and direct.
I wouldn't say it is super easy. You will still have the same shitty people around here you have in your states.
For every good aspect there usually will be a bad one too. From what I've read for example most foreign women often are completly devasted because they feel like they don't get any attention from german men. Depending on how long they stick to their old approach it can turn into a very painful experience.
Hahahaha! that's actually pretty funny lol
Maybe if they had a personality and didn't rely on their looks so much, things would be a little better.
As far as I read, If a German man wants to ask you out he does, so there doesn't seem to be much confusion. You move on if there is no interest or build a friendship first.
Seems fairly straightforward.
Sure, but people still can get cold feet and opt out of it. That is what happened with me and the Sag neighbor for example and never was resolved.click to expand
I remember that, the coffee date. people always have the choice to opt out, but it seems like rejection isn't much of a big deal there for men or women. It seemed like a statement of fact, easily handled. Did I read that part wrong or are Germans as affected by rejection as most Americans are?
Posted by aquarius09
I have a problem dating men of my own culture - long history of misogyny has rendered them utterly hopeless and their mentality outdated. You’d think that someone born and bred in western country would be different but nope. I was raised in the West but given my liberal Aqua nature, I was a feminist at heart always even as a kid. My bros are misogynistic, maybe not as bad other ethnic men I’ve come across because they still do their laundry and clean their houses, but their mentality is still stuck dark ages when it comes to women. I do better with Caucasian men.
Literally my situation. I thought I wasn't attracted to men, that's how horrible local men where I live are. 😂
Posted by DK
Recently I had a talk with a Japanese lady in a hotel lobby and it struck me how different our cultures are. I mean, there are differences between let’s say Americans and my people for example since independent from their zodiac sign the majority of people here are introverts which renders many of the typical zodiac descriptions as you perceive them to be useless. Probably entirely different factors determine attractiveness too. But these differences with Japanese culture are on a different level entirely.
Not that it matters, but I’m not dating. I’m just curious about what you think about this. Do you see pros or only cons when dating outside your culture?
With respect and the willingness to understand learning about other people and cultures is a expansive experience. Think of the people who travel the world. They have broken out of their own cultural programing and mindset the exposer. See things more objectively.
I have always had a affinity with Japanese culture. The way they live, work ethic and even the way they play. Very simple life style with a good work and play balance. Then there is the geography of the country. Also to my tastes.
Decades ago I had this dream of joining the jag program. And subsequently years later I thought of it again and had this fantasy of ending up with me being highly successful and investing in a small lesbian bar run by a female business owner who has struggling to stay afloat from lack of investment. I wouldn't be surprise if it was a alternate life path.
In this one I mostly learned of different cultures and people through reading and exposer to different life style s. My ideal living environment is something similar even now. Clean minimalistic with a lot of open space and natural light.
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
What's your dating culture like and how does it differ from the American style that you noticed?
The biggest thing is that the whole gender conflict isn't even remotely as important as in the american discourse.
Mainly because feminism never really spread in German and only a fairly small number of germans are on Twitter.
Generally speaking most germans are extremely romantic when it comes to love and the expectations while also being suprisingly down to earth. Another thing is that most find their partners somewhat organically via friend circles or via community actvities.
I only realized a lot of those things after watching the american DXP on dating and wondering if it is a cultural or if I'm just weird. The I looked a at how american for example perceive german dating. Things like this don't get everything, but still mostly right:
https://mademoisellein.de/a-dummys-guide-to-dating-a-german
This was such a great article!!!! WOW! I wish things were this easy here! No games whatsoever.
I LOL'd at this part-
"Your self-deprecating humor leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health."
As funny as I think I am, for it to be taken as a mental illness 😆
Now I'm jealous that it's so easy and direct.
I wouldn't say it is super easy. You will still have the same shitty people around here you have in your states.
For every good aspect there usually will be a bad one too. From what I've read for example most foreign women often are completly devasted because they feel like they don't get any attention from german men. Depending on how long they stick to their old approach it can turn into a very painful experience.
Hahahaha! that's actually pretty funny lol
Maybe if they had a personality and didn't rely on their looks so much, things would be a little better.
As far as I read, If a German man wants to ask you out he does, so there doesn't seem to be much confusion. You move on if there is no interest or build a friendship first.
Seems fairly straightforward.
Sure, but people still can get cold feet and opt out of it. That is what happened with me and the Sag neighbor for example and never was resolved.
I remember that, the coffee date. people always have the choice to opt out, but it seems like rejection isn't much of a big deal there for men or women. It seemed like a statement of fact, easily handled. Did I read that part wrong or are Germans as affected by rejection as most Americans are?
No, the coffee thing happened. It was the cinema bar thing that didn't happen.
Getting hurt by or fearing refejection still is a thing. Women still tend to be passive out of fear of being rejected. It just seems less culturally entrenched here.
Said Sag neighbor for example was indirectly rejected by someone and then ranted for a couple of weeks about how she still would get to fuck him just out of pride.click to expand
I'm not sure why women use sex as a high standard. It's pretty easy to offer up and there are men that will take what's offered lol
That's not saying much!
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
What's your dating culture like and how does it differ from the American style that you noticed?
The biggest thing is that the whole gender conflict isn't even remotely as important as in the american discourse.
Mainly because feminism never really spread in German and only a fairly small number of germans are on Twitter.
Generally speaking most germans are extremely romantic when it comes to love and the expectations while also being suprisingly down to earth. Another thing is that most find their partners somewhat organically via friend circles or via community actvities.
I only realized a lot of those things after watching the american DXP on dating and wondering if it is a cultural or if I'm just weird. The I looked a at how american for example perceive german dating. Things like this don't get everything, but still mostly right:
https://mademoisellein.de/a-dummys-guide-to-dating-a-german
This was such a great article!!!! WOW! I wish things were this easy here! No games whatsoever.
I LOL'd at this part-
"Your self-deprecating humor leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health."
As funny as I think I am, for it to be taken as a mental illness 😆
Now I'm jealous that it's so easy and direct.
I wouldn't say it is super easy. You will still have the same shitty people around here you have in your states.
For every good aspect there usually will be a bad one too. From what I've read for example most foreign women often are completly devasted because they feel like they don't get any attention from german men. Depending on how long they stick to their old approach it can turn into a very painful experience.
Hahahaha! that's actually pretty funny lol
Maybe if they had a personality and didn't rely on their looks so much, things would be a little better.
As far as I read, If a German man wants to ask you out he does, so there doesn't seem to be much confusion. You move on if there is no interest or build a friendship first.
Seems fairly straightforward.
Sure, but people still can get cold feet and opt out of it. That is what happened with me and the Sag neighbor for example and never was resolved.
I remember that, the coffee date. people always have the choice to opt out, but it seems like rejection isn't much of a big deal there for men or women. It seemed like a statement of fact, easily handled. Did I read that part wrong or are Germans as affected by rejection as most Americans are?
No, the coffee thing happened. It was the cinema bar thing that didn't happen.
Getting hurt by or fearing refejection still is a thing. Women still tend to be passive out of fear of being rejected. It just seems less culturally entrenched here.
Said Sag neighbor for example was indirectly rejected by someone and then ranted for a couple of weeks about how she still would get to fuck him just out of pride.
I'm not sure why women use sex as a high standard. It's pretty easy to offer up and there are men that will take what's offered lol
That's not saying much!
That's easier to say with one or two more decades on the clock of life and the experiences already made.
I talked with many women and all had the same sentiment in some form, but I never considered it to be a weakness or flaw.
To the contrary, I'd say it is a needed part of growing up and into your sense of self as well as sexuality. Without incidents one might never realize the power your sexuality can hold over a other people and all the responsibilities that comes with carefully wielding it.
I saw the same in men too. I also had those conflicts and doubts within myself. Even now from time to time.
But it gets easier with time.click to expand
I've known about it as a teenager. Too many man just saw a body and wanted sex, even when I was a kid, so I learned early that I wouldn't give it to anyone unless I wanted to. Thankfully an adult never raped me, but their creepy stares, sly caresses, and comments were enough to let me know how powerful it is.
But yes, putting sex first, in trying to figure out your worth, is the quickest way to low self esteem. There isn't much value in casual sex.
I never thought about men feeling like this, I think they may be able to do it longer then women since some men aren't so connected with the emotions that come with sex, I guess it all just depends.
Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by AntiphatesPosted by saggurl88Posted by Antiphates
Pros and cons will always depend on teh culture. The only universal statement I can make is that looking at other dating cultures can lead to a better understanding and appreciation of your own dating culture. Prior to getting more involved with the online realm and learning about the amercian approach to dating I always thought our german dating was very mundane, but now I see how bueatiful it is and hope it can be preserved and remains uncorrupted by the american approach.
What's your dating culture like and how does it differ from the American style that you noticed?
The biggest thing is that the whole gender conflict isn't even remotely as important as in the american discourse.
Mainly because feminism never really spread in German and only a fairly small number of germans are on Twitter.
Generally speaking most germans are extremely romantic when it comes to love and the expectations while also being suprisingly down to earth. Another thing is that most find their partners somewhat organically via friend circles or via community actvities.
I only realized a lot of those things after watching the american DXP on dating and wondering if it is a cultural or if I'm just weird. The I looked a at how american for example perceive german dating. Things like this don't get everything, but still mostly right:
https://mademoisellein.de/a-dummys-guide-to-dating-a-german
This was such a great article!!!! WOW! I wish things were this easy here! No games whatsoever.
I LOL'd at this part-
"Your self-deprecating humor leaves them increasingly concerned about the state of your mental health."
As funny as I think I am, for it to be taken as a mental illness 😆
Now I'm jealous that it's so easy and direct.
I wouldn't say it is super easy. You will still have the same shitty people around here you have in your states.
For every good aspect there usually will be a bad one too. From what I've read for example most foreign women often are completly devasted because they feel like they don't get any attention from german men. Depending on how long they stick to their old approach it can turn into a very painful experience.
Hahahaha! that's actually pretty funny lol
Maybe if they had a personality and didn't rely on their looks so much, things would be a little better.
As far as I read, If a German man wants to ask you out he does, so there doesn't seem to be much confusion. You move on if there is no interest or build a friendship first.
Seems fairly straightforward.
Sure, but people still can get cold feet and opt out of it. That is what happened with me and the Sag neighbor for example and never was resolved.
I remember that, the coffee date. people always have the choice to opt out, but it seems like rejection isn't much of a big deal there for men or women. It seemed like a statement of fact, easily handled. Did I read that part wrong or are Germans as affected by rejection as most Americans are?
No, the coffee thing happened. It was the cinema bar thing that didn't happen.
Getting hurt by or fearing refejection still is a thing. Women still tend to be passive out of fear of being rejected. It just seems less culturally entrenched here.
Said Sag neighbor for example was indirectly rejected by someone and then ranted for a couple of weeks about how she still would get to fuck him just out of pride.
I'm not sure why women use sex as a high standard. It's pretty easy to offer up and there are men that will take what's offered lol
That's not saying much!
That's easier to say with one or two more decades on the clock of life and the experiences already made.
I talked with many women and all had the same sentiment in some form, but I never considered it to be a weakness or flaw.
To the contrary, I'd say it is a needed part of growing up and into your sense of self as well as sexuality. Without incidents one might never realize the power your sexuality can hold over a other people and all the responsibilities that comes with carefully wielding it.
I saw the same in men too. I also had those conflicts and doubts within myself. Even now from time to time.
But it gets easier with time.
I've known about it as a teenager. Too many man just saw a body and wanted sex, even when I was a kid, so I learned early that I wouldn't give it to anyone unless I wanted to. Thankfully an adult never raped me, but their creepy stares, sly caresses, and comments were enough to let me know how powerful it is.
But yes, putting sex first, in trying to figure out your worth, is the quickest way to low self esteem. There isn't much value in casual sex.
I never thought about men feeling like this, I think they may be able to do it longer then women since some men aren't so connected with the emotions that come with sex, I guess it all just depends.
Even if men weren't initally aware if it they will once they run into the situations where women hold all the power during most of their twenties. That why the american society seems to have this cycle where women abuse this power during that timeframe, which leads to resenment on the male side, who then do the same or similiar once the tables turned in their mid-thirties. The end result is that two genders are apart who desperately want and need to come and be together.
It's a tragedy.click to expand
Oooh! You make a valid point!!!! Great observation! I agree with you.
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