Understanding how to validate my Gemini male feelings

I am in love with a Gemini man and I am the woman he is in love with (I am an Aquarius). Our bond is strong & he has expressed his love for me & ask me to wait on him while he get his life together (He lives with a woman). He is willing to leave for me & I know this 100% for a fact. He loves to flirt & that doesn't bother me at all. The problem is when he tells me how he feels & what he expects he said he is conflicted because he is afraid I will hurt him. I have difficulty addressing feelings so I told him how I felt about him but I know that wasn't enough to secure his feelings. He like to feel secure but I am a social butterfly myself & he is actually more laid back than me. So I think he is afraid another man will see what he sees & steal me away from him. He text everyday at least once to let me know he is thinking about me but I don't know what to do to get things rolling while he remains insecure and undecisive on whether we will work out. That is his fear & he has expressed that. So I need a Gemini male to explain to me what is needed to feel secure with a woman? More affection, direct wording, showing him (how do I do that?) please help because he want to get it rolling but I know he can't figure this out on his own.

This is not the first time I've seen an Aquarius women hitting with a married Gemini guy or the other way round. I will tell you one thing you CAN'T change for him because you are a free spirited soul and he should know that and change himself for you. Otherwise you will never ever happy with him in your life. Gemini and Aquarius goes well together as long as you both communicate each other. He should know that you have difficulty in addressing feelings and is common to Aquarius and you can't do anything about it, so please don't fake it hehe. When is his birthday and yours?

No he is not married never been. We had a fling 4 years ago. I went into a relationship and he confessed his feelings that he loved me is ready to settle but it was too late. So I was in a 4 year relationship with the libra man (real exhausting). I never had contact with my Gemini because it hurt so bad to walk away. But he contacted me repeatedly and I ignored him for 4 years because I don't like to have messy relationships. If I'm in I'm in... When out I play. So when I ended my relationship, I responded to him when he message me in FB. Then we started up again. The first time he was in a relationship thy was ending and he left her to be with me... Again too late. We had been seeing each other for 4 months daily & I didn't like to be strung along. He didn't express his feelings at all so I moved on. So here we are again. He lives with the Leo woman. They not together at which both confirmed. They practically hate one another but neither one wants to relinquish the support of their financials. So they fuss about everything. He sleeps on the couch. He help with the household & bills but they both do their separate thing. Since he was heart broken he first time around, he is afraid to do it again because he thinks I would up and leave but I won't if he actually tell me everything and we make plans to move forward. I don't like being strung along. So I get all the wait on me. I want to be with u but afraid stuff but no real fabric and that's exhausting. Our love is real. He has acknowledged it but I guess he has a hard time figuring me out. But he can't figure me out without experiencing life with me. I take things by the day and by the adventure. He tries to please me and do things I like or surprise me but he doesn't feel is enough but it really is. I just don't know what to say to get him to understand I truly love him & he don't have to worry he has a partner for life.

My birthday is Feb 17, 1988 & his is May 23, 1992

Posted by littlenanobyte
My fiancé is a gem sun scorp moon... he can be like this a lot, he needs constant confirmation and validation. It can be exhausting. My instinctive reflex is to be sarcastic because it's annoying and gets old to me.

Him - "Are you cheating on me?"

Me - "Only twice so far."

😆 of course I never have, but I'm not one to cater to that kind of shit.

How did you get to the point of proposal with your Gemini? I read they have complete difficulty with that?

Posted by geminidude
This is not the first time I've seen an Aquarius women hitting with a married Gemini guy or the other way round. I will tell you one thing you CAN'T change for him because you are a free spirited soul and he should know that and change himself for you. Otherwise you will never ever happy with him in your life. Gemini and Aquarius goes well together as long as you both communicate each other. He should know that you have difficulty in addressing feelings and is common to Aquarius and you can't do anything about it, so please don't fake it hehe. When is his birthday and yours?

February 17, 1988 and his May 23, 1992

May 23 Gemini can be a slow talker, likes to show off, enjoys luxury and can be a hermit. He will be more happy staying home than roaming around hehe. And you Feb 17 Aquarius can express your emotions well when compared to other Aquarius. I bet you are romantic at heart, very outgoing, loves to travel and enjoys mind stimulating conversations. You both can work out well. He sounds very indecisive and slow in changing. Make it clear that you can't play games. You need to give him a bit of pressure to leave her and to be with you if he really wants you in his life.

You are right on the money. He does like to stay home. He calls me a road runner. All of what you said is 100% is. I was afraid to apply pressure because I figured he may run off but I want to more & more everyday. So that's what I am going to do.

FYI I know the right amount too. I don't like to be too pushy.

Here is the update:

He said because he was hurt & he haven't analyzed me. Yet he expressed everything that he wants in a relationship. He just want someone to be happy with. Although we have a strong connection intellectually, sexually, & a real friendship at which we talk about anything & everything truthfully. I feel as if I am not what he wants and that his indecisiveness is his answer to whether I should continue or not.

I explained to him that we were both hurt the first time around because it was all confusing to me. I get strung along & he agreed that we were both hurt but he is guarded of his own feelings that he doesn't realize that I have allowed him full access to my heart twice. So I guess my question now is whether I should be patient or understand that his decision truly lies in him not being able to make one.

Posted by Juzzkea
No he is not married never been. We had a fling 4 years ago. I went into a relationship and he confessed his feelings that he loved me is ready to settle but it was too late. So I was in a 4 year relationship with the libra man (real exhausting). I never had contact with my Gemini because it hurt so bad to walk away. But he contacted me repeatedly and I ignored him for 4 years because I don't like to have messy relationships. If I'm in I'm in... When out I play. So when I ended my relationship, I responded to him when he message me in FB. Then we started up again. The first time he was in a relationship thy was ending and he left her to be with me... Again too late. We had been seeing each other for 4 months daily & I didn't like to be strung along. He didn't express his feelings at all so I moved on. So here we are again. He lives with the Leo woman. They not together at which both confirmed. They practically hate one another but neither one wants to relinquish the support of their financials. So they fuss about everything. He sleeps on the couch. He help with the household & bills but they both do their separate thing. Since he was heart broken he first time around, he is afraid to do it again because he thinks I would up and leave but I won't if he actually tell me everything and we make plans to move forward. I don't like being strung along. So I get all the wait on me. I want to be with u but afraid stuff but no real fabric and that's exhausting. Our love is real. He has acknowledged it but I guess he has a hard time figuring me out. But he can't figure me out without experiencing life with me. I take things by the day and by the adventure. He tries to please me and do things I like or surprise me but he doesn't feel is enough but it really is. I just don't know what to say to get him to understand I truly love him & he don't have to worry he has a partner for life.

My birthday is Feb 17, 1988 & his is May 23, 1992

Say what I bolded. Normally, we're pretty open...

I'm a watery gem woman married to an aqua that shares your birthday. I have insecurities. I've learned to not live by them and recognize them for what they really are. That is something he has to work on at his own time and pace.

Until he does, be verbally open with him. Tell him what you are feeling and be honest about it. Use emotion in your tone to seal it in cement. Be sincere and genuine.

Posted by misslissa

Posted by Juzzkea
No he is not married never been. We had a fling 4 years ago. I went into a relationship and he confessed his feelings that he loved me is ready to settle but it was too late. So I was in a 4 year relationship with the libra man (real exhausting). I never had contact with my Gemini because it hurt so bad to walk away. But he contacted me repeatedly and I ignored him for 4 years because I don't like to have messy relationships. If I'm in I'm in... When out I play. So when I ended my relationship, I responded to him when he message me in FB. Then we started up again. The first time he was in a relationship thy was ending and he left her to be with me... Again too late. We had been seeing each other for 4 months daily & I didn't like to be strung along. He didn't express his feelings at all so I moved on. So here we are again. He lives with the Leo woman. They not together at which both confirmed. They practically hate one another but neither one wants to relinquish the support of their financials. So they fuss about everything. He sleeps on the couch. He help with the household & bills but they both do their separate thing. Since he was heart broken he first time around, he is afraid to do it again because he thinks I would up and leave but I won't if he actually tell me everything and we make plans to move forward. I don't like being strung along. So I get all the wait on me. I want to be with u but afraid stuff but no real fabric and that's exhausting. Our love is real. He has acknowledged it but I guess he has a hard time figuring me out. But he can't figure me out without experiencing life with me. I take things by the day and by the adventure. He tries to please me and do things I like or surprise me but he doesn't feel is enough but it really is. I just don't know what to say to get him to understand I truly love him & he don't have to worry he has a partner for life.

My birthday is Feb 17, 1988 & his is May 23, 1992

Say what I bolded. Normally, we're pretty open...

I'm a watery gem woman married to an aqua that shares your birthday. I have insecurities. I've learned to not live by them and recognize them for what they really are. That is something he has to work on at his own time and pace.

Until he does, be verbally open with him. Tell him what you are feeling and be honest about it. Use emotion in your tone to seal it in cement. Be sincere and genuine.

click to expand

I am not sure about your particular situation but most aqua men I know keeps great company with women as friends and adore their wife/partner. They brag constantly. Loyalty is never in question because I know for me that's all I need to tackle the world daily. I guess that's not enough for my Gemini male to understand. Like I truly adore him & all he is. I look up to him & respect him. That is why it always is a struggle. I am glad you two are together because it must be blissful for the most part right?

Posted by Juzzkea

Posted by misslissa

Posted by Juzzkea
No he is not married never been. We had a fling 4 years ago. I went into a relationship and he confessed his feelings that he loved me is ready to settle but it was too late. So I was in a 4 year relationship with the libra man (real exhausting). I never had contact with my Gemini because it hurt so bad to walk away. But he contacted me repeatedly and I ignored him for 4 years because I don't like to have messy relationships. If I'm in I'm in... When out I play. So when I ended my relationship, I responded to him when he message me in FB. Then we started up again. The first time he was in a relationship thy was ending and he left her to be with me... Again too late. We had been seeing each other for 4 months daily & I didn't like to be strung along. He didn't express his feelings at all so I moved on. So here we are again. He lives with the Leo woman. They not together at which both confirmed. They practically hate one another but neither one wants to relinquish the support of their financials. So they fuss about everything. He sleeps on the couch. He help with the household & bills but they both do their separate thing. Since he was heart broken he first time around, he is afraid to do it again because he thinks I would up and leave but I won't if he actually tell me everything and we make plans to move forward. I don't like being strung along. So I get all the wait on me. I want to be with u but afraid stuff but no real fabric and that's exhausting. Our love is real. He has acknowledged it but I guess he has a hard time figuring me out. But he can't figure me out without experiencing life with me. I take things by the day and by the adventure. He tries to please me and do things I like or surprise me but he doesn't feel is enough but it really is. I just don't know what to say to get him to understand I truly love him & he don't have to worry he has a partner for life.

My birthday is Feb 17, 1988 & his is May 23, 1992

Say what I bolded. Normally, we're pretty open...

I'm a watery gem woman married to an aqua that shares your birthday. I have insecurities. I've learned to not live by them and recognize them for what they really are. That is something he has to work on at his own time and pace.

Until he does, be verbally open with him. Tell him what you are feeling and be honest about it. Use emotion in your tone to seal it in cement. Be sincere and genuine.

I am not sure about your particular situation but most aqua men I know keeps great company with women as friends and adore their wife/partner. They brag constantly. Loyalty is never in question because I know for me that's all I need to tackle the world daily. I guess that's not enough for my Gemini male to understand. Like I truly adore him & all he is. I look up to him & respect him. That is why it always is a struggle. I am glad you two are together because it must be blissful for the most part right?

click to expand

It is! Best of friends! 🙂

You have to tell him these things. I'm not sure how to get him to understand, but there is definitely something blocking him from acting on it. Ask him what that is. If he is afraid that the same thing will play out, then I can see where his feelings on this are validated. Just like we have to learn how to be patient with aquas, you also need to be patient with him. Sounds like therapy might be helpful for him, as well.

haha.. my husband has the same birthday as your Gem, and he also has moon in scorpio like littlenanobyte's fiance.

My husband does get very insecure even today, asking if i'm msg other guys, and afraid I'll leave him one day.

I don't try hard to make him feel secure, I just continue to be myself...

Because I don't flirt, I don't go out to parties, I pretty much stay home and sleep besides work.

My husband can figure out that he's safe with me, only bugging me for attention, which I think it's cute.

The only way I reassure him daily is to keep telling him I love you, give him lots of affections, and sometimes write him little note telling him how lucky I am to have him in my life. Trust me, little note can melt them down big time 😉

Thanks gals & guys. So I expressed myself to him but he didn't budge. So I finally told him I love him but I have to move on. He got really quiet & expressed his feelings and stressed that he thought he gave me enough attention while he worked on things. He definitely wants me but he needs to figure out what is next because they have acquired so much together and he will walk away once he works out a living arrangement elsewhere. He prefers to put down on a new apartment instead of leaving so abruptly and needing to go to family house just to get away. He also said I am impatient with him because I ignore the ways he show me he loves me. He wants me to stop seeing other people & be confident he is there but I expressed my frustration of what it's like when he goes home. He expressed his anxiety and frustration when I go on dates. He wants me to slow down dating and I want him to leave. He said he needs to know he is the only one. Then he said all the hanging out with my cousin (who like to party) will need to slow down a lot. That kinda hit me to my heart because I like hanging out and freedom. So I guess this will be a bit more rockier than I expected.

Posted by littlenanobyte
My ex best friend of I think 15 years has your birthday too. Wow, it's a small world in this thread lol.

Yea we are loyal friend bugs through the good the bad & the ugly... At least with me.

Posted by Juzzkea
Thanks gals & guys. So I expressed myself to him but he didn't budge. So I finally told him I love him but I have to move on. He got really quiet & expressed his feelings and stressed that he thought he gave me enough attention while he worked on things. He definitely wants me but he needs to figure out what is next because they have acquired so much together and he will walk away once he works out a living arrangement elsewhere. He prefers to put down on a new apartment instead of leaving so abruptly and needing to go to family house just to get away. He also said I am impatient with him because I ignore the ways he show me he loves me. He wants me to stop seeing other people & be confident he is there but I expressed my frustration of what it's like when he goes home. He expressed his anxiety and frustration when I go on dates. He wants me to slow down dating and I want him to leave. He said he needs to know he is the only one. Then he said all the hanging out with my cousin (who like to party) will need to slow down a lot. That kinda hit me to my heart because I like hanging out and freedom. So I guess this will be a bit more rockier than I expected.

hahhaha sounds just like my husband. omg.. they do get super jealous for nothing 😉

But trust me, once they love, they love hard. At the same time, they want your full attention, very intense and very possessive.

Hanging out with people isn't an issue for them, the only problem is if you're going without him, which makes him very insecure 😉

Posted by Juzzkea
Thanks gals & guys. So I expressed myself to him but he didn't budge. So I finally told him I love him but I have to move on. He got really quiet & expressed his feelings and stressed that he thought he gave me enough attention while he worked on things. He definitely wants me but he needs to figure out what is next because they have acquired so much together and he will walk away once he works out a living arrangement elsewhere. He prefers to put down on a new apartment instead of leaving so abruptly and needing to go to family house just to get away. He also said I am impatient with him because I ignore the ways he show me he loves me. He wants me to stop seeing other people & be confident he is there but I expressed my frustration of what it's like when he goes home. He expressed his anxiety and frustration when I go on dates. He wants me to slow down dating and I want him to leave. He said he needs to know he is the only one. Then he said all the hanging out with my cousin (who like to party) will need to slow down a lot. That kinda hit me to my heart because I like hanging out and freedom. So I guess this will be a bit more rockier than I expected.

He got some serious F*&king problem. What an insecure immature twat