@DeeLovesRed
10 Years1,000+ Posts
My Cousin! ??♀️??♀️
Tell her she's a retard & hang up. It's obvious your breath is wasted on her. No self-respecting & intelligent woman would ever go back to a scumbag like him.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Tell her she's a retard & hang up. It's obvious your breath is wasted on her. No self-respecting & intelligent woman would ever go back to a scumbag like him.
I want to tell her that, but I'm like the only closest relative to her (geographically and emotionally). I don't want to push her away, but I don't want to see her hurt.
I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place right now.
Ridiculous
Some people make it so hard to care for them
Posted by brianafay
RidiculousSome people make it so hard to care for them
Seriously!!! ?? and I don't want to feel responsible... because I know myself, if anything happens to her I'm going to blame myself...
Also, I've been in an abusive relationship so the advice I've given her in the past wasn't from me looking outside in.. it was from me being inside and now out..
Since you're in between a rock & a hard place all u can do is listen.. there's no more advice to give a woman that has zero self respect for themselves ?
Posted by brianafay
RidiculousSome people make it so hard to care for them
Seriously!!! ?? and I don't want to feel responsible... because I know myself, if anything happens to her I'm going to blame myself...
Also, I've been in an abusive relationship so the advice I've given her in the past wasn't from me looking outside in.. it was from me being inside and now out..
click to expand
God I am so furious for you
Why would she go back to that situation ?! She's lucky to have her life. I don't understand these women.
I can understand why women stay too long in abusive relationships - because they're scared to leave, scared to be alone, scared what he'll do if she leaves, etc.
But her - she left - she survived - she was removed from the situation for some time. She should have been able to see clearly and be smart enough not to ever go back.
Idk what to tell you to do or say but I feel for you
I would be beside myself
Posted by brianafay
RidiculousSome people make it so hard to care for them
Seriously!!! ?? and I don't want to feel responsible... because I know myself, if anything happens to her I'm going to blame myself...
Also, I've been in an abusive relationship so the advice I've given her in the past wasn't from me looking outside in.. it was from me being inside and now out..
God I am so furious for you
Why would she go back to that situation ?! She's lucky to have her life. I don't understand these women.
I can understand why women stay too long in abusive relationships - because they're scared to leave, scared to be alone, scared what he'll do if she leaves, etc.
But her - she left - she survived - she was removed from the situation for some time. She should have been able to see clearly and be smart enough not to ever go back.
Idk what to tell you to do or say but I feel for you
I would be beside myself
click to expand
That's my point, you SURVIVED!!! She had surgery, lie for the rest of her life she has to remember he broke something on her. Where up to this day she's doesn't have feeling in the area.. —
These are her placements:
Leo Sun
Sag Moon
Virgo Merc
Virgo Venus
Libra Mars
Aries Saturn
You think it's her libra mars that have her like this?
Posted by LiveAndLove
I would just let her know you're there for her but if she's going to continue on the self-destruction path, you don't want to be a party to it. No one changes from what others think. She has to figure it out for herself and it's out of your hands. It's hard, watching people we love make the wrong choices. Don't beat yourself up, don't cut her off, but also don't be a listening ear every time she has a problem. Good luck with it all xo
You brought up something I didn't think about, being unavailable sometimes. Yea I think I can do that rather than completely cut her off.
Maybe try asking her next time she starts complaining about him - "are you venting or are you coming to me for a solution? Because I have given you advice in the past and you have disregarded it so I am not sure what you want from me? I just want to be clear so I know how to respond. Do you want me to help you or do you just want me to hear you "
Honestly what they don't realize is the latter is very selfish. How is it fair to your loved ones to have to sit back and watch and hear about your pain which they are helpless to and you insure it
Posted by brianafay
RidiculousSome people make it so hard to care for them
Seriously!!! ?? and I don't want to feel responsible... because I know myself, if anything happens to her I'm going to blame myself...
Also, I've been in an abusive relationship so the advice I've given her in the past wasn't from me looking outside in.. it was from me being inside and now out..
God I am so furious for you
Why would she go back to that situation ?! She's lucky to have her life. I don't understand these women.
I can understand why women stay too long in abusive relationships - because they're scared to leave, scared to be alone, scared what he'll do if she leaves, etc.
But her - she left - she survived - she was removed from the situation for some time. She should have been able to see clearly and be smart enough not to ever go back.
Idk what to tell you to do or say but I feel for you
I would be beside myself
That's my point, you SURVIVED!!! She had surgery, lie for the rest of her life she has to remember he broke something on her. Where up to this day she's doesn't have feeling in the area.. —
These are her placements:
Leo Sun
Sag Moon
Virgo Merc
Virgo Venus
Libra Mars
Aries Saturn
You think it's her libra mars that have her like this?
click to expand
Very similar placements to my mommy
Except she's Leo mars and Libra Venus
She's just very naive and idealistic
She wants to see the best in people and is very accepting/forgiving
My father does not abuse her but I could see her staying and making excuses if he did
She doesn't always feel worthy of love - she doesn't realize how special she is
Posted by brianafay
RidiculousSome people make it so hard to care for them
Seriously!!! ?? and I don't want to feel responsible... because I know myself, if anything happens to her I'm going to blame myself...
Also, I've been in an abusive relationship so the advice I've given her in the past wasn't from me looking outside in.. it was from me being inside and now out..
God I am so furious for you
Why would she go back to that situation ?! She's lucky to have her life. I don't understand these women.
I can understand why women stay too long in abusive relationships - because they're scared to leave, scared to be alone, scared what he'll do if she leaves, etc.
But her - she left - she survived - she was removed from the situation for some time. She should have been able to see clearly and be smart enough not to ever go back.
Idk what to tell you to do or say but I feel for you
I would be beside myself
That's my point, you SURVIVED!!! She had surgery, lie for the rest of her life she has to remember he broke something on her. Where up to this day she's doesn't have feeling in the area.. —
These are her placements:
Leo Sun
Sag Moon
Virgo Merc
Virgo Venus
Libra Mars
Aries Saturn
You think it's her libra mars that have her like this?
Very similar placements to my mommy
Except she's Leo mars and Libra Venus
She's just very naive and idealistic
She wants to see the best in people and is very accepting/forgiving
My father does not abuse her but I could see her staying and making excuses if he did
She doesn't always feel worthy of love - she doesn't realize how special she is
click to expand
Sounds like my cousin, she's so quick to say "but people never give me a chance to prove myself"...
Like she says that for her job, relationships, friendship etc....
Very passive, why do you have to make excuses for people. You don't have anything to prove fuxkers
Posted by LiveAndLove
I would just let her know you're there for her but if she's going to continue on the self-destruction path, you don't want to be a party to it. No one changes from what others think. She has to figure it out for herself and it's out of your hands. It's hard, watching people we love make the wrong choices. Don't beat yourself up, don't cut her off, but also don't be a listening ear every time she has a problem. Good luck with it all xoYou brought up something I didn't think about, being unavailable sometimes. Yea I think I can do that rather than completely cut her off.
I've been that person. Your friend. When I struggled a lot with everything, nothing made me come to my senses other than everyone important in my life getting tired of my life. It was life changing for me.
click to expand
That's the thing, like I try to be the backbone for her because I don't want to reach that point where I'm "tired" of her. Her mom isn't any better she plays off her intelligence and makes her vulnerable. I could go on and on for DAYS about the stuff her mom has done to her. —
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Tell her she's a retard & hang up. It's obvious your breath is wasted on her. No self-respecting & intelligent woman would ever go back to a scumbag like him.I want to tell her that, but I'm like the only closest relative to her (geographically and emotionally). I don't want to push her away, but I don't want to see her hurt.
I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place right now.
click to expand
That's her problem, not yours. If she's too stupid or too arrogant to listen to the advice people give her - the advice she asks for in the first place - then whatever happens to her she brought it on herself. Because she allowed it.
I dont want to offend my Virgo peeps but this isn't the first time I've heard or seen someone with Virgo Venus being in an abusive(verbal or physical) relationship. In the least bit with cheaters.
OP, what's her family background?
Posted by beautifulsoul74
OP, what's her family background?
Like what you mean? Ethnicity?
Tell her that she had it right when she left. Inform her that by going back she has created her own Hell. Let her know that she's addicted to abuse and if she had an ounce of self respect she wouldn't waste her life on someone who clearly doesn't love her. Tell her that you love her, but unless she's willing to help herself, there's not much you can do for her. Let her know that you are more than willing to help her get out of her current situation if that means she'll leave him. If she plans on staying though, there's no advice you can give her....aside from learning Krav Maga.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
I dont want to offend my Virgo peeps but this isn't the first time I've heard or seen someone with Virgo Venus being in an abusive(verbal or physical) relationship. In the least bit with cheaters.
Wow, it's crazy you mention that because he cheated on her and she found out... she tried to confront him and That's how they got into the last altercation where he broke a part of her body..
Posted by DeeLovesRed
My Leo cousin (female) was in an abusive relationship with a Gemini man back in 2015. He broke something on her body which she had to get surgery for (imma save the details). After the surgery she decided to leave him. They didn't keep in contact for 2016. But as of January of this year they got back in a relationship.Now, ever since February she's been complaining about his verbal abuse and him lowering her self esteem... Today she called me asking for advice, but I didn't know what to tell her because the first time they were together I gave advice. Now that she's back with him, I simply don't know what to say!! —?
What should I do?
Ask her if you should book the surgeon in advance, this time.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
OP, what's her family background?Like what you mean? Ethnicity?
click to expand
Like, how stable was her family while she was growing up?
Posted by beautifulsoul74
OP, what's her family background?Like what you mean? Ethnicity?
Like, how stable was her family while she was growing up?
click to expand
Her mom and dad are still together. They've been with eachother for over 23 years. Her and her siblings share the same parents. So idk
Posted by lady_chatterley
Your thread is heartbreaking! I am going through the same thing, but with my sister.She has Mars and Sun in Gemini in 7th house.
Gemini Sun
Virgo Moon
Cancer Merc
Cancer Venus
Gemini Mars
Libra Saturn
My bet is that your cousin will not listen until she decides to change her mind on her own.
My sister was married for 11 years to an abusive man that knocked her teeth out, busted her lip and now she has a scar, hit her while she was pregnant and many other times, emotionally and mentally abused her. He made her work 2 jobs, so she didn't have any free time. He told her when she had to come home and she had to get permission from him to go out and do anything social. She thought this was normal!
It was her first relationship. She never took anyone's advice until 11 years later she decided to leave him. She never got back with him, but all subsequent relationships they all have been emotionally and mentally abusive. She is in an unhealthy relationship right now. I don't know what to say anymore. I keep telling her she should leave him, but she doesn't. It's so frustrating!
So, I completely understand where you are coming from. I am so sorry. Have you suggested that she see a counselor or get professional help? That's what I am trying to do with my sister.
No I haven't suggested that, but I want to suggest counseling because her relationship with her mom is rocky. Her mom is like a leech she'll take and manipulate her a lot.
And I'm so sorry for your sister, it's like she's a magnet for assholes just like my cousin—?
Posted by SweetLily_89
Continue to love her and be of support.. Just be mindful not to take the burden unto yourself. Giving emotional support shouldn't come at your own expense, even if you need to periodically distance yourself from the situation.You can't save her from herself.. Not being in contact supposedly for 2016 means nothing. You don't know how deep it runs and she may have not been completely honest about everything she'd been going through while they were apart.. It doesn't matter if you came from an abusive childhood or a "normal" one, once an abuser gets their claws in you, it's not easy to repair the damage that's left behind. If something happens or she decides she can't take it anymore, I suggest you convince her to get some counseling. There are community action programs that offer support groups or give free counseling for victims of DV. Maybe just finding a program and giving her the option to decide for herself now could make a difference.
Yes I agreee. I will look into the counseling thing.
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My Leo cousin (female) was in an abusive relationship with a Gemini man back in 2015. He broke something on her body which she had to get surgery for (imma save the details). After the surgery she decided to leave him. They didn't keep in contact for 2016. But as of January of this year they got back in a relationship.
Now, ever since February she's been complaining about his verbal abuse and him lowering her self esteem... Today she called me asking for advice, but I didn't know what to tell her because the first time they were together I gave advice. Now that she's back with him, I simply don't know what to say!! —?
What should I do?