What to do from here?

Hey still with the same Leo.

We talked yesterday and he came out to be honest with me. I asked what we are or what this is. He told me he likes me and he cares about me but He told me he still has things that he needs to get in order. He said a relationship is a privilege and there’s certain things he needs to bring to the table. He needs to focus on himself but he’s not where he needs to be right now. He also told me that he does also talk to somebody else, but he said he’s spending most of that time with me( he’s here almost everyday) He said if were to ever have sex w/ somebody else he would tell me. he told me how he’s a bad texter but his actions speak louder than his words. When he gets in a bad head space he withdraws to himself because he doesn’t want to hurt those that he cares about. He told me he cares about me and would never wanna hurt me. He said telling me all of that was hard for him and he never explains himself . he’s not used exposing himself. He said he was gonna home and be miserable. I was like why? He said once we had our convo. I didn’t blow up in his face or anything. I told him thank you for telling me. We smoked and he chilled with with until 2am this morning . I just don’t know where to go from here though. I really care about him but I don’t want to end up being a second option at the end of it all. We’re 6 years apart. Idk what this other girl has on me. I know he’s Going thru something’s. Especially financially. I wanna give him his space but I also don’t wanna not contact him and have him think he hurt me or something or I’m done with him. Because he’s also very sensitive. How can I continue to be there for him w/o being over bearing and him still knowing I’m with to rock it out with him. I’m in no rush for a relationship I just wanna be there for him and connect w/ each other until that next phase comes (if it comes)

It’s @libirgo but that account was acting up so I had to make a new one

@Lioness18881 @Chuckcem

What your Leo guy say should be all true.

He has been very upfront with you but from what I can tell of Leo men, if they are under pressure from money/work and they told you about it.. it is likely they will put you on pedestal till they cleared their problems, yet if you give them time and affection, while acting as their pillar when they're vulnerable, sooner or later they will open up to you and ask you to be their gf.

The problem is, he has a side girl as you say? If one feeds a Leo more attention or can resonate better with them, the pendulum of affection will swing towards the other side. Leo craves attention, so you mirroring his insecurities when he shuts down may make him feel like you are 'cold' to him even though he is doing it. We want affection but yet we are scared to be too needy, hence we will wait till the other love interest to text first, but then when they play the game too, we may form opinion that the person isn't interested anymore.

If he is a person that can hold a conversation, do engage in a direct phone call rather than texting. Texting can bring so much misunderstanding to the table. A voice from the person I love can really soothe all the anxiety/worries I have so I hope it works for yours.

I talked to him the next morning. I told him that I understand where he’s coming from. I also told him that I was sitting there quietly because I wasn’t prepared for him to tell me everything so I was just processing. I told him I wasn’t mad though at all. At first I told him that i’llback off To give him the space he needs to focus on himself and to get back on track. He said that’s not what he meant and he didn’t want me to do that (so I haven’t) I also told told him that I appreciated the fact that he was honest with me about the other girl and that I wasn’t mad Bc he gave me the option of if I wanted to put up with that or not (I chose to) he also smokes weed but he said that In order for him to get these jobs he wants he has to stop for a while. So I told him that after this past weekend I’m no longer smoking with him Bc I won’t contribute to him smoking if it isn’t helping him. (That actually made him happy) after the conversation he said thank you and that he appreciates me for understanding and that it makes him feel good.

I haven’t stopped showing him affection. If anything I’m just more focused on building a better bond with him and seeing him get back on his feet. I always text him Goodmorning. But I wait till he answers I don’t try to “double text” and I always ask him to come over. Since that conversation we had that morning though he wants me to cuddle w/ him more and he kisses me more often and changed my contact in his phone to “my wife” lol

Just go with the flow. But give yourself a mental cutoff when it comes to time. 3months, 6 months, whatever. If he hasn't locked you down then move onto the next.

I too missed this notification.

@LibraGyal the Leo has basically told you everything you need to know. The question is what do you want? The Leo is dating around and not looking to be exclusive at this time. As he mentioned he is talking to someone else, which honestly is fine. You should be talking to other guys as well. Neither of you are exclusive, so there's no point tying yourself down to this guy when he's talking to at least one other woman.

He did let you know however that he's only having sex with you (so no need to worry about STDs hopefully). Likewise he's mentioned that he's spending most of his time with you. If that works for you, then there's no need for concern. However if it doesn't, then you'll need to let him know that. If you're looking for something serious, let him know that you want someone who wants you and not someone else. You shouldn't force exclusivity on someone who doesn't want it, nor should you ignore your desire for exclusivity either.

As far as withdrawing himself, this is what guys do. We tend to not talk about our issues, instead we work them out on our own. Why? Men aren't often taught to share our feelings. Instead we are told to "man up" and handle our issues on our own.

Additionally Leos aren't great about opening up about our problems. If a Leo is going through something, we may disappear at times to handle the situation. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with placing 100% of our focus on the issue until it's resolved.

My advice is to let the Leo know that you want exclusivity. If that's not what he wants, then you're fine dating and hooking up with him, but you'll also be talking to other guys as well. There's no need to give him an ultimatum. Just let him know that until he wants to be exclusive with you, you can't guarantee exclusivity with him.

Okay update, not the best one. I’m pregnant and I told him. I’m a month and a half. I don’t plan on keeping Bc I’m not ready financially I don’t have health insurance right now either. Now when I told him earlier this month he promised me he was gonna get the money for the pill and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Told me set the appointment. The day before he asked me to cancel Bc he didn’t have the money. Still told me don’t worry about it. Then he goes to the city for 2 weeks his family flew in. While he’s there he says he’s trying to get the money and that he’d get the medicine for my sickness while he was out there. He came back with nothing. Says we should try to go half. I said okay. I’ve been finding ways to get money. He still has nothing. Over the weekend I got really sick and he told me let him kno what the doctor said. After that I didn’t hear from him the whole weekend. Didn’t bother to check on me or anything. Then hits me up on Monday night saying “sorry beautiful I’ve been litty” I’m like that’s your valid excuse. Now being pregnant my emotions are enhance. I’ve been trying to refrain from having a mental break down Bc I’ve been overwhelmed with emotions this whole month. But my mental broke and I sent him a whole paragraph about how I been feeling. Saying how I feel hurt and he said he’d be here for me but hasn’t” at the same time 2 of his aunts passed away over the weekend. But while you were still getting lit. I’m not an insensitive person and I told him I’m very sorry for your loss. He told me this after I had said everything. I’m like I’m still entitled to how I’m feeling tho. We both have a lot going on but me being pregnant took two of us. I’m at home feeling sick and depressed all of the time Bc you haven’t gotten me the medicine you promised. While he’s out about enjoying life when you promised to be here for me. I needed somebody to vent to about him. I didn’t want to go to my friends Bc they’re the type to judge. So I’m cool with his brother(knew him before this guy) I’m like have you spoken to your brother? Well I’m in this situation and started venting. I think he said something to his brother. Bc since then he’s been in a mood towards me. I don’t need that negativity right now. I told him we’re both in a bad spot right now. You need you work on getting yourself back up and getting your stuff together and i’ll Do the same. Told him to keep his money and ima handle the situation myself. I’m like I care about you a lot and you mean the world to me and I don’t want to push you away. But it’s not healthy for us rn. I told him when you have everything together whether it’s days/weeks hit me up and we can work on things. We both are feeling some type of way I guess. I feel like he’s gonna stay mad at me tho for talking to his brother. But it turns out he had asked NOBODY to help him. Always puts his pride first. But something you gotta say fuck my pride Bc I gotta do what I gotta do. He didn’t. And he had lost his job so why wouldn’t you reach out for help. I spoke to his brother Bc he’s the one person I know that I can vent to about him and he wouldn’t judge him. Idk what to do

I went to his brother Bc i’ve Known him way before my Leo. Also his brother and his family knows about us. I say we talk/date Bc we both believe there’s certain things we gotta have going for ourselves so we can both contribute equally in a relationship.

I explained things to you how I’ve been feeling

Like I said this has only been in the past month. Since May 5th. He told me I didn’t have to worry about anything he was gonna get the money he was gonna ask his father. A day before my set appointment he said I had to cancel Bc he couldn’t get the bread. 3 days after I told him tho he had to take his brother to the airport in the city and wait out there to pick his grandmother up who was going in and was in NYC with his family for a week. While he was out there he said he was trying to make money. The. He was in central jersey for another week with his other side of family(he doesn’t see them like that) but when he came back he Came back with nothing. I told him I was scared Bc I don’t wanna reach a certain point and be ex stuck in a situation we’re both not ready for. He’s like we won’t i’ll Have the money. I gave him a week. Still nothing. Through out this entire time I spoke to him everyday he answered all my call or would get right back to me. Allowed me to vent how ever I was feeling. Then he had to go to the wedding this Saturday. I didn’t hear from him half remaining of Saturday or sunday( only when he said he couldn’nt make it Sunday)

My thing with him is that he made a lot of empty promises of reassurance. I told him that I was going to handle it And for him to focus on himself. He lost his job right before I found out I was pregnant. So at the same time he hasn’t been an asshole to me.

At the same token though don’t make empty promises. If you couldn’t handle it yourself then he could have told me that instead trying to have me believe you got it together just Bc your 27 years old. Everyone has their own thing they gotta get right.

I can see it and understand it from his point of view. But I explained how I felt from my side.

Was me saying for him to focus on him and worrying about getting himself right again whether it takes days/weeks wrong? I told him when he’s good to hit me up. But as of rn don’t worry about me. (I’m not soft at the end of the day I may get emotional but I’ve been thru a lot in my life for 22 years old. I can hold my own.) and in the meantime I’m going to focus on me and get myself right again. He knows I care about him a lot and means lot to me. He says he adores me and everything about me is his weakness. He’s just like everything is happening at once at the wrong time.

And I hope me saying focus on getting yourself right didn’t burn his ego or pride. I said it in a mature way BC IM A VERY UNDERSTANDING PERSON. But Leo’s mostly men but some females too defend their pride so much to give off the illusion that they got everything together. Even when everything is falling to poop. I envy that Bc it’s a huge strength but at the same time that pride you show to the world shouldn’t always be up when it comes to someone your involved with and intimate with. You shouldn’t give false hope. Especially in a serious situation

Posted by mudra
Don't bank on this dude to make you happy and to make you feel better even if you're pregnant. Sorry, I know it must hurt a lot. His heart may be with someone else or he just doesn't know wtf to do about any of it so distancing is all he can do. His actions should be telling you everything you need to know.

He's gone brick wall. Brick wall that moves 2 inches forward then 1 foot back over and over and over. Leave his family alone. You were not exclusive so that's kind of awkward for all parties involved.

Whether you decide to keep it or not... You need to be taking care of yourself. I hope you are. And if you're keeping it, taking proper care of your body. This time right here is about you. Not him or anyone else.

Good luck.

Listen to this lady.....she has experience and is wise

The guy sounds weak and not ready for any kind of connection...seems he has a lot of growling up to do

Ehhh, he is the weak sauce Leo, him before you.

Don't give him the credit, give yourself more credit and stop self doubting that you're not being understand. Try to come up with the money and cut him off. Being an irresponsible tool means that he has a lot of issues and is an immature fukboi.