Final Email

Okay guys here it goes. The final email I sent my Libra friend. All the questions I could think of:

Hey, its me again? I am probably getting on your nerves, but anyway that's what friends do sometime? Was wondering if my perception of your current state was correct in the last email I sent you? Really didn't get any feedback from you, I was just wondering what you thought about it all? I know you are probably shutting down on me and I can't lie that bugs me. However, I know you, and I know that certain conversations are hard for you to have.

Other than my perception that you just aren't ready to get involved with someone right now in the way of getting to know them better, not quite dating but seeing where things can go as I am. Which, let me be clear, is totally understandable as you know I have been in that same place since you have been knowing me until recently. However, I was wondering if there are any personal reasons other than that? Like, you are not attracted to me in that way, or because I have a child or because?. I dunno, just wondering if anything else plays a role in this other than the obvious?

I know way back when you had started getting emotional about us and I wasn't at the time, that might have shut you down a little. I didn't realize it then, but now I do. Funny how tables turn and how timing sucks. Just so you will know this sudden change scares me, with whomever I might explore the possibility with. I haven't really been in a relationship with anyone else for the past 8-9 years other than my ex and now I have a child, so it just makes it a more scary situation for me.

Now that I have let you know that my perception has changed on what I want now? Which is not dating immediately, but definitely more than the "just hooking up" thing? How do you feel? What do you think my outlook on our friendship is. What is yours? Are you willing to still be friends. I know you are aware that I have your best interest at heart, in whatever you do. You also know that I admire your accomplishments and ambition. Did you know that you inspire me in some ways— Can't think of anyone who has done that for me in a very long time.

I really cherish our friendship above all, as you know. I cherish that I can get good advice from you when I need to. You're like my own personal Dr. Phil :-). I am happy that you (used to) talk to me when you are having problems or just want to talk about things and I really don't want to lose that part of our friendship. Hey I am just thinking out loud and putting my feelings into writing. I'll end it now and hope to hear from you soon.


I REALLY WISH WE COULD TALK ABOUT THIS IN PERSON? Especially since someone told me they were trying to get out of avoiding things. Let me help you? :-)

Okay guys... What cha think. You know what I think? He will probably run forever after this. LOL!!! LS, Nic, Atom, anyone?

I can see where the e-mail is coming from and can empathize, but it is a bit pointed and cornering. As you said, I am thinking the guy is going to run (at the very least, for a long time).

But, the guy obviously was not giving feedback, and it is entirely possible that is the road it would have gone down anyway. Atleast this way, you get some sort of closure in the fact that you got to ask the questions that you needed to, whether or not you actually received the answers.

I hope otherwise, and that I am wrong, though... 🙂


How about an Aries next time?!? 😉

Queen - Leave baby out of the conversation.

Baby is way above any Libran d-i-c-k-h-e-a-d. (Sorry for my word but no man is worth that.)

Thanks guys. I will definitely look into an Aries next time. My baby is my main concern so, she is the forefront of my life and he as well as anyone else needs to be clear that I am a two package deal. I didn't expect him to want to be in a relationship as you see in the email I clearly explained that, but had to be honest about my change of feelings, didn't want to lead anyone on or get my feelings hurt because of my own doing. I know he isn't able, just wondering what his thoughts are.

Alcheme, I really don't care if it is cornering. I am no longer tip toeing around him or any other Libra, I care about him as a friend, however I am past being as sensitive to his feelings.

I just need closure and when it all is said and done. I have to know I laid it on the line, whether he replies or not.

Thanks, I am finally letting this go, the emotions are definitely fading fast. That is how I know it wasn't love but a really deep like.

QS...you are a strong woman and like I've learnt over the past couple of days (the hard way LOL), is that these guys won't actually break if you call them up on stuff. Sure, mine went on a bender but if serious things drive him to drink everytime do I really want to be involved?? uh uh...that's scarey stuff!!! Like he drank a LOT...I knew he liked his drink, we all do, but sheesh!!! He's now sending me really nice texts as he cares and that's nice to have in my life and he said to call him any time if I need to...that's nice too but not sure what to read into that. Im thinking he's only just being nice and hopes I don't LOL.

QS if he didn't bother to contact you from the first email/s you sent, I would just leave him be....that's one thing mine always did...he always replied, to any text, email, phone call. You're better than to have to wait and/or worry as to what he's thinking.

Leave the door slightly open for him to make a move....let him wonder what happened to you and keep busy in the meantime...that's what I intend to do. Let the waiting game begin and if nothing appears, an Aries definitely looks good LOL

For me though, there won't be any new guys for a while...that's just who I am...Im way too loyal and mine knows it...he knows he has me if he wants me - come and get me I say, Im not chasing, not anymore 🙂 At least my work will improve coz I am trying to stop thinking about him!!

Bloody Librans - sorry guys hehehehe

QS, You are ready for an Aries! (WE know you're worth it---so we'll wait 'til you're ready).

😉

I dunno QS. I really wish you hadn't written that email.

LS has a point--simply because Scorpios forget how strong they are. It may take him a VERY long time to recover.

Awww, thanks guys... Chatz, he hasn't responded to the first email and I really didn't ask for a response, just told him what my feelings were. I have since received two texts this evening from him asking how I am and if I am OK and to bare with him, he cherishes me.... I didn't respond, unless he wants to have a conversation or actually sends an email back I won't. It is a little different for me becasue I look at him two ways as my friend and as a man I am attracted to, some how I have been able to separate the two. I know that is usually hard but I seem to do it well.

However, being a woman it will all blend together if I don't check my feelings now and I might not ever be able to be his friend again because of it. Don't really want that. I am not bitter because I know he is unable to be what I would like for him to be right now. He is or has shut down somewhat but I don't care everthing I said had to be said...

Atom yo better stop... YOU WILL GET IT!!!

LS, why not? Elaborate...

😉, QS.

I am a true scorp and can only hold my tongue and my feelings for so long what you see is what you get. He will never ever be able to say he never knew where I was coming from. This isn't the first couple of deep emails I have sent to him. The first concerning my sudden feelings changes, but i have sent sensitive emails about our friendship to him and he didn't respond for a couple of days and then out of the blue he sent a looonnng email and we acturally talked after.

So LS, why don't you think I should have sent this email?

QS/Chatz - whoa lotta stuff going on this last weekend. Great luck to both of you. Just a waiting game. Be careful though, I had my Libra friend interested in me, then I got too pushy. He actually said we were going to date to see how things go. I think they always say what they mean. I thought dating meant at least once a week. He said maybe we would see each other several times a week, maybe once a month. Like you QS I wasnt used to someone telling ME what to do, so I complained, wrong thing to do.

He seemed to be busy every week, at the time I thought it was an excuse, but I think now he really was busy. Dumb me. Now we are just friends according to him and its ME calling him. He never calls me. But as I mentioned before, he always answers my calls/texts.

I have the same feeling Chatz, like maybe he is only being nice and wishes I wouldnt call. At least you both have had calls FROM them. Boy wish I would have found this thread before. I wont stress that much about it. Things happen because they are suppose to. LOL

I think someone should tell Brittnie Spears family, she has postpartum depression. Course with $ 48,000 a month rehab, someone should figure it out.

Be nice I haven't been pushy with him at all and I was just with a Libra for 8 years, married for 6, so I know what my limits are with them. If you just keep tip toeing around them forever, you will never get what you want. I am not pushy just making myself clear. I have not asked him to make a decision about anything as I know he isn't ready, just had a couple of questions about where his head is aftter I HAD A CHANGE of feelings. Oh, and trust no one will tell me how I will persue them or yest they won't be persued at all. A reall relationship shouldn't be that way. Yes it can be wonderful once you have their hearts, and yes when you get them it will be hard to get rid of them if it doesn't work out, but hell, no one is worth all that. Get over that. Yes he calls texts me we would hang out etc. Just not so much lately. He used to call several times a day when I wasn't ready for anything but a casual thing... I have seen how he can be when he is reallt emotional about me. I shut that down and now the table turned. Just wanted feedback. No regrets here. NEVER CALL A MAN CONTINUOUSLY WHO NEVER CALLS YOU OR CONTACTS YOU IN ANY WAY!!!!

"NEVER CALL A MAN CONTINUOUSLY WHO NEVER CALLS YOU OR CONTACTS YOU IN ANY WAY!!!!"

Yup I have to second that one unfortunately...He has GOT to make contact in SOME way...it doesnt have to be a call, although that would be the nicest way, but he has GOT to make effort 🙂

ok I hear you - ugh you are yelling at me. LOL I do not get it though, should I email then like you all? I do not call him all the time, maybe once or twice a month just to catch up, as we ARE friends, right? So, is that still wrong?

Anyways, we just talk Caz, we like alot of the same things. Im just not sure I want to lose him as a friend quite yet. I DO intend to give him an ultimatum on what I feel about him, but for now, still want him to know I'm still around, so, even though he doesnt call me I try to keep in some touch. If you all dont think I should please, please do let me know.

Oh BTW - I do not think either of you are pushy, I said I was pushy and wish I had this site before I blew it. I think everyone on this thread is zbest help.

Yeah, we all learn from our Libras. *sigh*

***ok I hear you - ugh you are yelling at me. LOL I do not get it though, should I email then like you all? I do not call him all the time, maybe once or twice a month just to catch up, as we ARE friends, right? So, is that still wrong?***

LOL!!! Sorry I know I was yelling, but I know how stubborn we scorps can be once we have our minds set. Was just making sure I had your attention. Sorry, a little aggressive here. 🙂

Ask yourself this question... Do your other friends call you? Okay, if not, do you call them. I don't think so... He is too comfortable with you contacting him chasing him. It is keeping him in control, so why would he call you? Stop. give a month or so, if he doesn't call you or text, email something then leave him alone. He is not even a friend. He should though if you can hold out. If he cares about you even only as a friend. Libras do cherish their friends.

OK, no email either...

I will be taking my own advice although I got a couple of texts yesterday after the last email... Naw, I will talk to him when he calls me and he will eventually. Until then. I am a busy woman. I have two dates this weekend... 🙂

" I DO intend to give him an ultimatum on what I feel about him, but for now, still want him to know I'm still around, so, even though he doesnt call me"

No, don't do this. Do you give your other friends ultimatums? I seriously doubt you do. It's different because you have an emotional attachment to this guy. He doesn't call you, you call him. Put yourself in those shoes. When you don't call someone, why do you do that?

You have to make it a chase for him girlie. You are too available for him and it's no work for him to think about you because you are the one initiating all the contact. Does that really make you happy? Make his fingers do the walking for a change!

Be nice, I do want you to know I understand you. I am a scorp as well and you clearly love this guy. We love very hard. Sometimes to a fault... However, you also know your worth, so spend your time with some guy worthy of your time. Don't be a hope chest... It is ok to leave the door open if that is what you both want BOTH. However, live my dear Live!!!

yup...absolutely keep the door open if you think he's worth it (that's what I will do for a while) but if somebody else better comes along? go for it!!!

Life is way too short to sit at home dwelling and hoping and giving into your own emotions by just sending one more text or one more call....QS is right, he won't call, etc if you make it that easy for him.

Make him work for it baby!!!

HP - I second that on how awesome you all are. Great advise.

Im keeping my cool, win some,lose some if you know what I mean. LOL All is appreciated.

Im still dating a fellow scorp and another Libra, but you know how us scorps are, always want what we cannot have. We need the challenge I guess.

Yes, QS we fall in love hard, but when we get bored . . . . Im always questioning whether I made the right decision also, so a little like a Libra.

Benice, glad to hear you are seeing others....

Today is my baby's birth day. Can't believe she is 4 years old... My ex and I took her to Chucky Cheeses after work. This was the first time in a very long time we did something with her together. We actually had fun. However it really confirmed that I don't have anything romanticly left for him and to my relief it seems he is finally starting to accept that. I will always be his friend and be there if he needs me but I can't be anything more.

My baby loves to be with the both of us at the same time so it made the both of us happy that she was happy... Funny how life changes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BABY!!!! Little pisces baby. I Loooovee babies. Is your ex a good papa?

What do you think of Leo/boy Scorp/girl?

Didnt want to say this in same sentence as BABY. but aries is H O T sex for scorps. they are kinky, if you like that LOL.

this might be sick for some, but this one wanted to be bitten and bite back. i went along with it cause i was drunk. Wow, the senses were out of this world. we never drew blood though.

Don't believe it, QS; we're DULL, baby, DULL. Ha!

HB, Queenie's daughter! Yay!

AT- r u aries? get with a scorp - dull may change to DANG!!!! oh you just kidden

Yeah, I'm Aries through and through---born March 30. Just kidding about being dull as Queen knows. Was MARRIED to a Scorp for a long time so know them VERY well. Positive and negative. QS is awesome.

Good to know ATm you were married a long time - as this aries is still in my life - you know what for - we just cannot seem to part, lol he says if we commit, he would b soooo jealous and have to be with me all the time, so i should be careful what i wish for. r u jealous type?

Too bad Libra girl doesnt know the REAL you. lol

Jealous if I believe there's a reason---more like possessive. The REAL me? I don't know if I know the REAL me. Ha! IF your Aries is awesome I would suggest you keep him around---we're hard to find and FAITHFUL. And, well, you know all about the *mmmmmmmmmmmm*.

Thanks guys!!! My baby thanks you for the Happy B-day wishes. Yes I have a little pisces princess, so smart, affetionate and thoughtful... Did I say she was a cutie? Her dad is a Libra and a very good dad. She is a daddy's girl too.

I saw the Libra at the gym this morning. I became a little upset when I saw he was wearing a sleeveless T-shirt I bought for him from Vegas... I wanted to snatch it right off of him, but the thought of doing that calmed my feelings and then I got a little erotic thoughts 🙂. He looked so damn good, but I totally ignored him as we were a distance away, until he was making it obvious for me to see him. He kept coming over to where I was working out wherever I went in the gym... He normally works out on the other side of the gym with the heavier weights.

I started stretching and when I lifted my head he was walking past smiled and waved. I waved and didn't smile and kept working out. He then had this little smirk on his face, which kind of pissed me off. I brushed it off then a guy who I knew came over and started talking to me. The Libra came right over and started stretching right next to me while I was talking. After I was done talking I looked at the libra and said. "Nice shrit" and walked out the gym. Left him speechless with his mouth hanging open...

*** nice shirt ***

heehee ^5

"Nice shrit" works. It's SO close to saying something else! I betcha had that Libra hot and bothered, QS!

Atom who knows, who cares at this point. I met an Aries!!! Heeheee!!!

you go QS...very impressive!!

"Atom who knows, who cares at this point. I met an Aries!!! Heeheee!!!"

Go for it! It should be nice to be with a man who knows what he wants and goes for it.

Yay, QS! YOU'll know how to handle him!

😉

Yeah, I will focus on getting to know the Aries right now. I hope he doesn't disappear when he finds out I am not as available as women without children... Although he has gone back to school to finish his PHD. So he is busy as well. School and work.

You have your priorities right. Make sure he likes you baby. He will MAKE himself available if he really likes you.

I agree, Atom

Thanks Atom. Yeah, I keep my priorities straight and my daughter is number one, then work, then play... 🙂