I have sent THAT email

Well my friends, I finally sent that email to my Libran.

Basically I told him (coz yes, Im too gutless to have done it in person), that I wanted more than he was prepared to offer and that I couldn't do a physical relationship and not have an emotional one with it. I told him I realised I was only one of his distractions but I still wanted to remain friends in the future.

I also told him that it was ok not to reply and that none of this was his fault but if I were to continue seeing him the way I have, he'd break me in a million pieces, yada yada yada. Guess he knows how I feel LOL

Somehow I don't think he'll reply anyway and there won't be any more texts, etc....might be wrong but I know this will unbalance him a little and he'll make himself unavailable for a while anyway.

Im sorry to you all for having to have read all my posts and you've all given such great advice, its just that he's obviously too broken to share himself with anybody 50% let alone 100% . I truly deserve more than being hidden away with him - you're all right, he should have taken me out and been proud to be with me so I guess up and on now. I don't suppose there are any other options now other than to forget him - gawd that's gonna be hard

OK I will still write from time to time and wish you all the best 🙂
xoxox

Proud of you.

Wow!!! Chatz, if this is something you felt you had to do, than good job!!!! Welcome to my world!!! Maybe you will get some restricted drunk calls that just woke me up!!! I am pissed!!!

I am sorry, if he doesn't take leaps and bounds to get you now, then he doesn't deserve you. I know exactly how you feel. I hope he gets his head out of his ass and do what he knows is best for him because he knows that you are a terrific woman....

But, then again, maybe he can't. Just remember IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU - NEVER WAS...

NEITHER one of these Nimrods (!) deserve you women!

Thank you and if he "can't"? that's his problem....he's way too broken then....I will NEVER be able to fix him and I've done myself a huge favour and cut the grieving process down a few notches 🙂 *thinks positive*

I know this will upset him, Im pretty sure of it but its now up to him to do something if he wants to...if not, I have my answer....simple. Last time I made myself invisible for a week, he seemed to worry and that's when I saw more of him than ever but this time?? who knows.....he's so damned good looking and has that charm, he can easily replace me...I just thought 4 months would have meant something but who knows...will keep you posted if I hear anything...but i imagine this will take some time if at all LOL

Just gonna keep busy

Go for it if it was your Libran QS...go for it 🙂

Go for what? Now I am mad and since my interest is falling daily... I am not going to break my neck to figure him out. I am tired of all that, so if he knows what is good for him he won't see me, because the next time will be a face-to-face honest talk and it might not be so nice...

I just talked to my friend and told her, she said, "How do you know it was him?" I don't know anyone else it could be and my gutt is normally correct. He is drunk like me and horney... He just isn't as bold as I am. Can't pull of the same stunt!!!

Oops... He is drunk like I was...

exactly...he's drunk like you were!!! LOL

Drunken minds and bodies do sober thoughts and actions... LOL!!!! He is such a chicken!! I won't ask, but if I did I think he would deny it... I just know it was him though, can't think of another soul.

(((Chatz)))

You are a dear, sweet woman. I hope you find your forever manhome soon.

Thanks LS....well it would seem he's been on his chat sites all night and even now so early on a Sunday morning - unheard of....guess THAT'S how much I meant to him...up and on to find a replacement.

Ahwell, at least I know.....best he goes on his chat sites than to bother contacting me - I didn't expect him to but thought he'd might surprise me LOL

Anyway, Im off to start living again...hope you all have a glorious Sunday and no doubt I'll chat with you during the weeks but for now?? going to go and find a way to alleviate the pain so to speak....gonna take mum out to lunch LOL.

Take care all - love you all
xox

Good girl Chatz.. all will work out in the end. Stay strong and bubbly.. you bring brightness to this board.

Oh, Chatz... I am so sorry it worked out this way, especially after all the hard work you put into it. But, if that was his response, then I suppose it is better to know now than find it out later. You deserve a man that can see exactly what a wonderful, caring, funny, vivacious woman you are and that is willing and ready to give you everything you need and want. If he is not willing and ready to step up to the plate, I have no doubts someone else will be...

Get your claws and paws ready to catch you that next fish in the sea... Kitties never have a problem catching themselves another fish to play with (and later devour 😉).

BUT, don't move on so much you don't come back to visit us here... Shoot, I was playing on the Libra forum without a Libra of my own, and you better damn well do it, too. I expect you to regale us with all your fishing stories. Oh, and don't forget to throw back the "small" ones, not enough meat and too many bones to be worth the effort... 😉

LOL alcheme, I'll be back and forward and aqua? nah, I don't think it will work out - haven't heard a peep out of him, not a text, not an email, nothing and its now been just over 24 hours...but yup he keeps going to his sites....mental note!!! stop checking!!!!

LOL alcheme, just LOL

Well I went online to chat to a friend tonight and my "ex Libra" caught me and we chatted about the email I sent....Im surprised he made the effort and last night he drank a bottle of Jim Beam and 3 of his home brewed beers and went to bed at 9.00am today!!! OMG I did that to him— He said he took a long hard look at himself and now realises that he's hurting people and doesnt want to do that.

We didn't talk of any future, but we did discuss how he felt and why he didn't want a r/ship and he said he's just totally haunted by his ex (this I already knew), and we discussed what I wanted yada yada....he told me that last week another woman had wanted to get serious with him also (wow that was news to me and Im a little shell shocked) and then I told him that I couldn't just be one of many he's seeing - I was so totally positive he wasn't seeing anybody else 😢 He didn't try to hide it, he said it definitely isn't me, its just that he 'can't do a relationship' at the moment.

There doesn't appear to be any positive outcome there for US, especially if he has other women who wanted to be serious at the same time.......I don't hold any hope anymore.....I still love him to bits and wish I had never sent the email but at least its got him to thinking about what he's doing to women....he wrote: "there is no sense to my thinking at the moment - but i am upfront so I try to be as honest as possible" and he was definitely up front.

I told him I regret sending the email but he only thanked me for being so honest (a good trait to have apparently LOL) and so brave, that he truly enjoyed the time we spent and he had feelings but he's not in the right place.

So there you have it my dear friends....we ended it by saying we both look forward to catching up online from time to time....he didn't seemed quite upset and was very hungover....guess I hit home what he was doing and if I've done that and perhaps stop him from continuing this path, I've done something good - just wish I coulda got the man but it wasn't to be and I don't feel confident we'll be catching up much either - I guess he just had to have that "chat" online though to end things properly.

So that's the end to the story - guess he could have just not made contact ever again so I do value that...its nice to know he was waiting online to catch me - guess that's the last cue thing he's going to do for me but I'll smile when I remember the good things we did do

Its a bit sweet and sour at the moment and no doubt the thinking and being upset for him is over...now I just have to try to move on - he didn't try to stop me and said "you'll find the right guy" in amongst it all.....Im sure you can all understand Im a bit cut up and that he won't "be back" as we all hoped.

You never know honey. He isn't in the right place but he did have feelings. When he is in a better place, he might just look you up.

Till then, don't wait for him. Keep moving on and meet another great guy who is ready, willing, and able to be there for you.

Chatz, proud of you. So brave. I KNOW it's terribly hard. PLEASE don't regret sending that e-mail---you may have turned his life around. You are a GOOD woman. MAYBE with him out of your life there's room for more guys to show up that will SEE you---and, for Heaven's sake, NOT have someone ELSE in their life you don't even know about!

thank you - Im just going to keep busy for a while, and no, no guys for a while....Im going to leave the door open just a bit for him for a few weeks...maybe he'll be doing that grand Libran thinking thing - I know he's hurt, I know he's disappointed and I know he'll miss moi (a tad maybe LOL), I know he had feelings but just not enough but again, I'll be ok.

Atom I do hope I've turned his life around very much so - he's just too nice to be doing what he's doing and for him to drink himself into stupor on a Saturday night when he could have gone out and shagged anybody he liked— unheard of....maybe, just maybe he's thinking and took what I said "I wish you'd stop haunting your future with the past" the way it was meant, i.e. stop living as if you have to live by the exe's rules anymore....there are always 2 sides to a story but she doesnt sound nice at all....I offered him a shoulder if he needed to talk - he didn't accept or decline....we'll see but yeah, friendship is definitely going to remain - can't ask for more than that at this time and yeah LS...maybe

*keeps chin up* LOL
xox

I'm sorry you're hurting, Chatz

Often when people have created space for themselves, the barriers that were issues, disappear. Because of the space instantly created. One can breathe again and the suffocating feeling is gone.

If he wants you, he'll knock on your door. At least that side of things is easy for him (Libra)...

Don't be too hard on yourself right now, sweetie.

(Who wants to be with a Libra anyway?)

Chatz, I am so sorry to hear that it all came to complete end. As, I will no doubt wind up in the same situation. As I don't think I can just be friends with my Libra friend at the moment. It will probably take some time, if ever, since I don't want my feelings to be involved.. He hasn't commented on the email I sent to him and since the restricted call, I haven't heard from him. I will ask for a response via email. I won't torture him face-to-face.

I know it is painful to find out he has been seeing other women, as you were so sure he wasn't.

I definitely think my friend is and has been, but it hasn't been a problem for me as I am just within the past month or so getting attached.

Libra, we ALL want to be with a Libra anyway! LOL!

I think men that aren't emotionally available should just stay out of the dating pool until they are ready.

LS, I totally agree. So, because I know his situation, it will suck and I already knew this when my feelings changed. I won't be as disappointed as most, but I will need to take some time to recheck my emotions before continuing to be friends with him and I have to do it without shagging... Damn, that is going to be the toupest part.

LS, women too.

Hey guys and gals 🙂

Libra, yes I realise that if he wants me he'll come a running!! He's MORE than capable of doing that - he has no problems asking for what he wants 😛 He sent me a text this morning to let me know: "I sorta wish I wasn't going through a mid life crisis right now" and a few other things so he is thinking of me and he knows Im hurting and for him to go on a bender?? that means something LOL....yup a hangover!!! serves him right, he shoulda called, not got blind drunk on his own!! He also said that if I wanted to talk about anything to please call him - he has no problem with that but I won't. He knows it LOL. Its not that I don't want to, its coz I can't...hearing his voice and the fact he really does care will break me and I don't want him to hear or see me like that 😢

Mid life crisis?? pfffttt he's hardly there!!

We'll catch up soon I know that - Im going to lay low for the time being and get back on track...the door is open - he knows it and if he wants it? he can come and open it totally 🙂 If not, we will remain friends.

The other women? he let me know that it was only one of his online friends who had gotten a little smitten and wanted to take things to the next step so that's some sort of relief but then again, he shouldn't be online if he has me waiting for him and willing to see him at any blasted time....obviously Im not what he's looking for but I don't think he really knows what that is. But I do still believe he didn't have any time to meet with others but that could be me living on false hope - but just can't see when *shrugs*..ahwell I'll never know.

Anyway its sweet he texted me....maybe if he has some time and shudder, goes out with other women, he might think I wasn't too bad afterall but it might be too late - who knows....anything is possible

Im doing ok - better than I thought I would actually....he's at least being decent and keeping in touch and I've decided to get back on track and try to put my emotions in a box and put them up on a shelf for the time being and heal somewhat.

Thanks everybody - its been a ride of a lifetime LOL
xox

Chatz

"I sorta wish I wasn't going through a mid life crisis right now"

What does this mean? It's a weird opening statement.

Then snap out of it!!

LOL I know...I was tempted to write that back!!! I dunno what that's meant to mean....I was hoping LIbrans might be able to decipher it LOL....I was thinking perhaps he wishes he didn't feel like he does right now and could give me what I want.....but I daren't wish that now, not now!! He also said many times "Im sorry I can't give you the relationship you want with me right now"....I am still very confused and its gonna take some time.....I'll catch up with him soon and hopefully we'll both have a clearer head 🙂

Using "mid-life crisis" is an excuse. It will be interesting to see if he comes back to you.

I know and interesting isn't the word...I can't think of the word actually LOL

I'd be surprised if he comes back but he did say that it was a "mutual attraction" but words, words, words....actions speak MUCH louder than words....we'll see.

We'll talk next week - Im not going to call - I just can't but we'll chat online very soon....we can both feel eachother out then....Im sure he's finding things pretty tough mentally right now as they do....and I am too...I don't want to say the wrong thing/s.

Actions, baby. And, remind me? HOW do you have the self control to NOT call—

its hard...I wanna call desperately and I have a feeling he wants me to otherwise he wouldn't have offered, but I just can't...I will lose control and I doubt he'd handle that too well and he'll probably be able to melt me again and the casual r/ship continues due to vulnerability (that's what he wants) and I don't get what I set out to get, and that's a more committed r/ship and that comprises of HIM phoning me sometimes, him asking me to go out places, etc. If I melt now, he just gets everything handed back to him on a platter!!! Believe me though, Im not at all strong, not at all.....I just know how he works (I did this 2 months ago and somehow he had me eating out the palm of his hands again)

Unless he's a player, he'll find a way to contact me again....its a matter of just waiting now...the games, once again, begin!!

For some reason, this quote comes to mind I heard years ago:

"WHY am I doing this now?
"WHY am I doing this in this way?
"WHY am I doing this at all?"

Chatz, in your opinion, IS there another way? I'm at the precipice where IF she doesn't call by Wednesday or on Wednesday, I'm gone---will just let time go by, will not answer if I see her caller ID---OR do the bull-headed typical Aries thing of bolting to her and saying something like, "Don't you get it? I love you! Get with it, girl!" HA!

doing this now? in this way? (OR another way?)---doing it at all? WHY oh why?

Atom...I think that's a good attitude!!! I'd do the "Don't you get it? I love you! Get with it, girl!" HA! thing!!!

LIke I said, these people really don't break if we stop tip toeing around them...they might go on a bender, they may sulk, but they won't break and they probably won't stop communicating with you!! I think while there is communication, that's the most important thing to hang onto 🙂

If she doesnt wanna go out - take that Aqua out and show her a good time

:-)

MAN, I wished I lived closer to Australia!

🙂 yeah come over - we could have fun

Atom I am going to have to watch you. You cheating on me?

QS, one of my "problems" is that I don't cheat on anyone! Ha!

OK Atom, just checking. I am stingy with my man. Except on the occasional three-somes... 🙂 At the man's request of course.

blushing here, QS! Oh my!

Oh lordy!!!

So what? just coz Im down under (land down under by the way), you opt for the Scorp huh?? Fine...its war!! LOL

I KNOW I'd blush with you too, Chatz!

😛

LOL, LOL, LOL!!! Chatz, well bring it on. I am not afraid to fight for mine!!! Atom you can't be blushing for us both only one. Now make a choice! 🙂

ooooh let the games begin 😛

SO complicated. IF ONLY nic' were here. . . . . .

Nic is going to get one hell of a swollen head if we're not all careful!!!

Chatted with my LIbran tonight - just like nothing happened...friendly chat which is nice and we may even catch up next week - that's a positive sign and it seems like he's getting his act together at work and a few things in his private life, and maybe, just maybe that jolt over the weekend gave him some inspiration.

Well wishful thinking - Rome wasn't built in a day so they say!!

Its all good 🙂

Now where did Nic get to again? lol

***SO complicated. IF ONLY nic' were here. . . . . .***
If you mean to help you make a decision between a Leo and a Scorp... Sorry, Chatz we all know he is bias to the Scorps!!! 🙂

Good news Chatz... Did he call you? I haven't heard from my friend either since the lame texts after I sent the last email. I won't contact him though. We shall see. Maybe I am not as good as a friend to him as I thought—

Now where did Nic get to again? lol

Check with Alcheme... 🙂