The Latest

Ok, I just KNOW you guys are dying to hear the latest in my oh so interesting love life (j/k!) Really, I just love getting all of your perspectives on things.

Last night I was hanging with the Libra and he was talking about how he has been thinking he shouldn't hang out during the week since he gets up at 6 am. I, not wanting to go a week at a time w/out seeing him said, "We can just go to bed early." So then he says, "Actually I've been wanting to talk to you about something." Ok...here goes

He told me that he thinks we need to be able to have time away from each other w/out insecurity. I told him I totally agree. He said he wants us both to be able to be honest about the time we spend together (if we are tired, or have something else to do we need to say it and not sacrifice for each other). He said he has seen my jealous side and does not like it. He had thought of ending the relationship but his friends think I'm so fabulous and talked him out of it. He said that if he didn't like me so much, he would've split a LONG time ago.

Interesting timing as I feel I am at the point of having worked out all of my major insecurities in relationships. I told him this and he said, "yeah, I thought you would be jealous of my friend (female) who was here last week. That was interesting - you didn't seem like it." Then he said he just wants us to keep things open, just see where things go with us, no pressure. He said he misses his friends, wants to spend some time with them, and really needs to focus on work so he can save money and have a business. I asked him if he felt pressure from me not to hang w/ his friends (he has never mentioned that he even wanted to before). He said he was afraid I'd be mad. I corrected him on that point.

Then he said, I don't want to hurt you if I decide leave and go back to Morocco. I said, I am in this, I am happy with you, it will hurt me if you leave today, ten days from now or two years from now, but I am ok with it. I am happy with myself and I want really good things for you in your life, so if it is the right move for you to go back, it will also be the right move for me.

THEN, he said, I always want to keep people that are special to me close. You could be my wife one day, but let's just leave it open. I want to know that whatever happens we can always be close.

Comments?

Well ammorocks.. how did you feel about the conversation? What has happened since then...

So he did not break up with you so that is positive and he was honest with you about his feelings, so that is good also. I think if you give him some time things will turn around. Guys need their time alone especially when they have been spending a lot of time with a female. They have to then oscillate away from her, to then miss her, and then he will start feeling strange and want to come back. You must keep yourself busy during your "away" time as to not think of him and what he is doing. Otherwise the jealousy will kick in again and you all will argue a lot more bc of your insecurity.

Not sure about the female "friend" thing.. I hate the way these libras have to have soooo many dang female friends.. I think most females have an issue with this.

He want to know how far you may run if he dont intentionally tie you up. If you dont run and stay close, things will get better every single day. Also he want to keep his options open.

I left something at his house the other night that's important to me, so I called to make sure it was there and that I didn't lose it. It was a quick and easy conversation - and he said, "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Actually, brat, I don't think I will feel jealous. I've gone through a huge turnaround with that and I am sure that whatever happens will be the right thing. I know that he cares a lot about me - I think you kind of nailed it with the whole guy thing "Whoa...this is getting serious, uh oh - I gotta back off." I am going through a busy period in my life right now as I am working full time and teaching two classes on the side, so it won't be hard to focus on my own things.

I don't plan on going anywhere, I just know that he speaks in subtext a lot, so I want to be sure that this isn't his way of initiaing a break up. Because if it is, then just do it - right? My gut tells me that it isn't, but I won't be a happy girl if he is stringing me along!

Hmmm, i dont know Ammo, sounds like he?s cooling off. My advice to you is to keep it cool, minimise contact and give him the space he says he needs. Not easy, in fact it might hurt like hell, but i allows him to think without your influence. Anyway, Libra?s are always changing their minds, dont worry.

Sounds like a good healthy conversation. AMAZING how Libras always keep their options open. VERY difficult for just a yes / no answer. At least you know where he stands and what his expectations are. And you KNOW he's speaking in that subtext language. I agree w/ keeping space between you right now. The big question seems to be, "What will you do if another man comes into your life that you take a fancy to?" (Do Libras EVER realize that things like that CAN happen and he may lose you—).

Yeah, I know about that options thing. We were having a conversation a while ago and he said he thought he would have a lot more options to hook up than I would. I then told him about all of the options I've had since I've met him (9 to be exact) and he was shocked. Then he was all worried about whether or not I had done it.

Well, I'll give him what he wants...and if he wants for me to be out of his life, I will. Yeah, it'll hurt, but I will find someone else and move on if that's the case.

ammorocks, Good job! I get hit on by women all the time and don't get it why Libra Girl can't figure out OPTIONS are always there for me---BUT I've chosen to be with her and ONLY her. She WOULD be shocked if I went into details with her about how many "invites" I get on a weekly basis. I haven't wanted to even bring any of that up to her---doesn't seem appropriate. They're lucky to have us, aren't they! Ha!

Ammo, well done...

Setting someone free (or talking that way) is the only way to keep someone coming back.

That's what you read in so many books.

I'm sure your Libra was not expecting that one!

(Do Libras EVER realize that things like that CAN happen and he may lose you—).

Setting someone free (or talking that way) is the only way to keep someone coming back.


I've encountered this

"Do Libras EVER realize that things like that CAN happen and he may lose you?"

I, as a Libra, do, all the time. But Libra man in my life does not...

Which is something I find very arrogant in him. This may be influenced by the other planets etc.

Arrogant and self-centered. There's a certain weakness that we have for them and they have a way of knowing this. It's almost as if once they realize you are walking away or giving up, they try to reel you back in. And it works 9 times out of 10.

Once they've reeled you back in, they give you the "I need space" speech...and what do we do? We give it to them....it's a merry-go-round.

uh huh - I think we should all go out on strike and let them have PLENTY of space for a while LOL

They would only find someone else to charm...they got the charm and are not afraid to use it.

Oh yeah, he is free as a bird now! One thing about me is that I am very self-protective. Setting him free means also setting myself free, and I may not be that easy to get back.

He did call last night, just to say "hi" and, quite frankly, he sounded miserable. He's going through something right now and I believe that he honestly does need space to sort stuff out. Anyways, I am happy with myself so I'm finding that I don't NEED him. It's kind of crazy that after 10 months I can feel so detached from the whole situation. But I was in a GREAT mood yesterday and I'm sure that came across in our conversation.

I'll be seeing him briefly tonight to pick up something I left behind at his place this weekend, so we'll see how that goes....I'm approaching this whole thing with curiousity.

Well, in my experience, when a guy asks for "space" he wants out. BUT these have just been my past experiences and I'm trying really hard not to bring that into this situation. If I look at the facts, I have no reason to mistrust my Libra, he's never lied, cheated, or given me any kind of reason to believe he is not being honest now, so I have to take the leap, trust him and see what happens.

So, to answer your question, it's not hard to understand the need for space, it's hard to trust that when Libra is asking for space that is really what he is asking for (the subtext thing also plays a role).

kennyg.."Why is it so hard to understand the need for 'space'. I don't think it means we don't want or need a relationship"

The reason it is so hard for us to understand this is because in previos posts we have been told by libras they fall in love with every 3rd person they encounter!! OK, depending on what profession this guy is in.. that could be at least 100 people in a matter of days.. yeh! see the dilemna... Libra + too much time = bye bye love...

Yeah but if we have our space we don't shop around. If we are suffocated the ratio goes to falling in love with EVERY person we come in contact with because you can't see the positive in the one your with when they are so close you can't see the whole picture.

I had to read that a few times nic but yeah...that makes sense!!! I guess that would relate to all signs not just Librans 🙂

Ok, so get this...

After his whole speech about needing space, etc.... I had to stop by his place to pick up something I left there last night. I was planning to come in, say "hi" chat a bit, get my stuff and leave.

He says, "Are you in a hurry or something?"

Me: "no."

He: "Sit down, stay a while"

So I did, we talked, he found a business opportunity and told me all about it. I got up to leave around 10, he says, "I thought you would stay." I say "I want to respect your request for space." He says, "I'm ok, I want you to stay."

So I did.

Why? I wanted to. What do I feel I should have done? Gone home. Oh well, we had a good night together and actually planned a trip together.

GRRRR....make up your mind already!

We fall in love durring the spaces.

Libras see giving their lover space and freedom as an indication of respect and trust. When you give us space, we have time to think about you.

Yeah, I can see that. But what I don't see is why he felt the need to be so dramatic about it! I mean, we have not shifted at all out of the pattern we were in to begin with. So he needed a three-day break to figure this out? We have three-day breaks all the time! LOL!

Anyways, I'm going to be aware of the dynamic - if he does pull away again, I'm going to go back to this conversation and know that he told me to expect it. He doesn't want me to get all freaky when he pulls away...that's what I'm taking from the whole thing.

HP, I agree with you on all points.

I'm giving my Libra Girl space---seems to be working!

>>We fall in love durring the spaces.

Libras see giving their lover space and freedom as an indication of respect and trust. When you give us space, we have time to think about you.

Maygirl, very helpful. Thanks!

Maygirl - YES! It's amazing how much my perspective has changed after this whole "I need space" thing! It's like he started this new dynamic in our relationship that I didn't realize I needed just as badly as he did. Without time apart, we have no perspective. I now realize that I was actually missing out on some of the things I want to do for myself, which is never a good base for a relationship. So, it's not just good for them - we can figure some stuff out during these times too!

Yes I've noticed the same....the time away is actually a GOOD thing and from now on I am going to just enjoy it as I know my boy will come back everytime....🙂