Ok to keep profile on singles sites

Me again!! Just wondering whether its the norm for the Libran to be in a relationship (almost 2 months now), yet still spend everyday (not long mind you, just 10 minutes here and there) on singles sites??

I understand Librans are terrible flirts and like to sit on the fence and keep "options open" but it does worry me. I know he doesnt actually meet anybody from these sites as he's always home at nights - phew!!! but it still seems strange.

Im assuming that him regularly spending time with me means he's into me and not anybody from these sites but what the—

Also it amazes me that we can have such a wonderfully intimate time like we've been together for years and then he goes home (granted its late afternoon by then hehehe), and goes straight onto these sites (looking at messages or whatever)....whats in this?

Player??

I'll let someone else take the lead on this one....

Just depends on how much he worries about you leaving him. 😛

Not much by the looks of it LOL......I'll wait and see how it goes but its nice to see other peoples' opinions.

Player.

Are you in an exclusive relationship? If so .... guess what? you aren't.

"Also it amazes me that we can have such a wonderfully intimate time like we've been together for years and then he goes home (granted its late afternoon by then hehehe), and goes straight onto these sites (looking at messages or whatever)...."

What does this tell me? It tells me that he is accessing this site keeping his options open. Perhaps he feels as if he is keeping the door open thinking he'll come across someone better.

You say you've been seeing him for 2 months, but has he mentioned anything about not renewing his subscription to the online site or does he mention anything about it? Have you told him that you see him online? Plus, how would you know that he's online on the dating website if you're not logged in yourself? Perhaps he's seen you on that site and figured that if you're still viewing, why not him....

I met him on the site lol....I have cancelled my profile and yes he has made it clear he "chats" to people as "friends" and I kinda believe him coz he's always at home and doesnt meet any women - strange but yeah of course he's keeping his options open - I don't blame him as after 2 months he doesn't have to make a commitment as such but I just find it strange he needs to go on everyday coz basically the same people hang on there everyday....we'll see.

Thanks again 🙂

Personally i keep my options open mainly bcoz of "What if?", "may be someday" issues.... and only thing you can do about it is to make him feel secure about this relationship.

thanks libran....I've taken a lot on board and will keep riding it out and see where it goes as I think he's definitely worth waiting for and believe me, I wouldn't wait for just anybody LOL.

Im certainly happy to nurture what we have to date and perhaps move us forward a little further gently but slowly 🙂

Thanks again everybody - much appreciated

Chatz...

So you met this guy online... How did it happen? I am curious. Which site? I use to online date, I met 2 guys.. one did not look like his pic and the other was really short and would always call me crying about his ex...NO, literally crying tears...snot and stuff...

Just wondering how it is now... One of my girlfriends knows a girl who met a guy, moved in with him and they are now planning their wedding 3 months after meeting. I just don't have luck like that 😢

Online dating is very bad. Go out and meet people in real life.
The quality of people online is very low compared to real life people. It is also much harder to get a descent person online since they have soo many offers. Further more it is also a very costly affair.

So drop the online and go out and and meet people. Go to coffee shops, go out at night life, meet with friends etc..

If the guy STILL goes online after you are together IMMEDIATELY terminate the relationship otherwise you get much more hurt afterwards.

benjsh.

I looked at Yahoo Personals... not too bad. But I guess you are right, I just have a hard time, like today at Church some guy approached me and said "You are so gorgeous, can I call you sometime". He was not my type at all and not attractive. He proceeded to ask what I liked to do... I asked how old he was and he said 28. WAY too young for me @ 32, said he was very mature though and all the yadda..yadda guys normally say. I wanted to say NO to giving him my digits, but I couldn't. I have a problem with ?NO?. Now he will probably stalk me, because I always get weirdoes... plus if I avoid his calls I still have to see him on Sunday anyway. Great!!😢

I know a lot of people who have met/married on-line. I did try it very briefly but the guys I met weren't really what I was looking for. I really don't think I am in the demographic though as I am a social butterfly who is NEVER home. The few guys I met were homebody types who really didn't have a lot of passion or drive. If you really want a settled down, cuddle up at home type relationship, I think online dating is the way to go.

I now stick to guys I meet out and about because we probably have a similar life style .

Well I went to lavalife and found this guy (back to the first post)...can't say any others interested me (he stood out from the rest)....we chatted for quite some time before he asked me to meet...I can't believe I did it actually as it was 11pm on a Friday night at a nice quiet pub we both knew....(we live close to one another) but he was a perfect gentleman and has been ever since. So far its working out well and nah, Im not big on the singles sites but thought I'd give it a go!! Spoze all for their own. I had not been on there long before I met him but I'd recommend having a look - its quite common these days and I know of many who have married and/or are in long term relationships through this method of meeting.

Well I kinda have to take back everything I wrote....although Mr Libran is attractive, affectionate, etc, etc.....I have not had the pleasure of his company for 2 weeks and have not heard from him apart from a couple of texts 2 days ago for a week, although each and every night he's at home sitting behind the computer on his dating sites....this I find so incredibly strange as he doesnt go out to meet other women....it has me totally stumped. He doesnt bother to sign onto msn (we chat from time to time) but can sit on chat sites for 2-3 hours at a time (last night was the longest I have known him to be online at any one time...normally its about 10-20 minutes).....I've been patient, I've been cool and calm and not gotten emotional, he has said I am attractive and interesting and blah blah blah and no doubt should he call or text or come online and say hi I'll melt and not go crazy at him for not communicating, especially as I know he's not seen anybody else LOL, but what the— I know when he contacts me he'll be like nothing has changed and we've been talking everyday but somehow I am going to try to untrap myself from his charms as it only looks like pain in store for me in the future. I realise that Librans need so much darn time to "think" and to weigh up the pros and cons but to be honest I am better than to have to wait for him for months on end....some say it takes up to 6 months for them to feel comfortable enough to even commit to an exclusive relationship and they are comfortable to sit at home alone during that time.....I don't understand, especially not at this time of the year.....I dont expect him to take me home to mum for Xmas but after 9 weeks now I'd expect a little more communication and to know where we might be heading. Again, I know I need to remove myself for a while and make myself less available so if he feels anything he'll wonder what Im up to but its hard...there's something about him and its even worse when he says "I warned you to run when you first met me"....I don't get that at all...any explanations? And going back to the first post:...I don't think its fair that he keeps himself up on these sites even though we aren't in a "r/ship" as such but after having spent 2 months seeing one another it is some sort of "r/ship"...not sure what but something LOL.....I don't believe its right he goes on there everyday even if he is just chatting to friends (women) overseas but I can't say anything but just leave him be

Chatz, I stand behind my original opinion: he's keeping his options open. Move on. Reactivate your profile and meet some other guys - don't dwell on him. If he would rather sit for hours on end online on these singles site, then that's his lose and personally I would find that rather boring in a man - (is he a loner?).

There are far better fish in the sea.

lose=loss

hp....it would appear he is a loner (and a HUGE sleeper) given what I've written and what I know about him. He's a very interesting person (a little shy) but yes, I do find the online thing boring, especially knowing that somebody is out there and willing to be part of your life. He has been on the same sites day in day out for 17 odd months and very open about it too...I find that a little frightening myself. I honestly understand him keeping his options open as should I but it really is quite weird he prefers to sit down behind a screen at nights rather than enjoy life, especially if he meets none of those he chats to, and online sex— ewwwwww lol. You are right, looks like a loner and/or hiding away from something or even some form of depression!! Aaaaaand us getting together is always on his terms and yes, I know he'll be back but I've already taken the step to go out over the next 2 nights (as friends) and not go online myself and particularly not show him that Im online on msn if I do, therefore if he does want to resume any kind of contact, he'll either have to text me or phone. It is going to be difficult to "move on" but you are right.

Stay tuned for any progress (if there is any). Oh and as for going back and re-activating my profile? perhaps in the future but I have several friends to hang with so I might do that for a while as this behaviour has turned me into a recluse too, just waiting around for him - bad, bad mistake!!! Should have learnt from all the other posts, i.e. make yourself not available from time to time......I think him knowing Im always home, always available to chat to has bored him....perhaps he can start wondering what Im doing and where I might be. We'll see

Thanks HP....how are you doing?

Chatz, I'm good - can't complain too much.

Chatz

Lava? Are you Canadian? 🙂

It sounds like he is using a computer/online dating to avoid real intimacy.

*** just waiting around for him - bad, bad mistake!!!

Usually is especially if he isn't giving you what you want/need. You don't owe him anything, especially your loyalty, if he is dicking you around and you aren't in an exclusive relationship.

Don't settle.

Little Sparrow....no Im not Canadian, I live in Australia - G'day!!! lol

**It sounds like he is using a computer/online dating to avoid real intimacy.

Too right...and very sad for him - one day he might realise all the great opportunities he may have missed in the process.

Thanks LS...you're right....waiting and hoping for him would be to "settle" and I am way toooooooo loyal!!! Can't say though, that he's "dicking me around" as we're not in that exclusive relationship but his behaviour is extremely confusing so Im best not making any contact at all and walking away and if he cares or misses me, he knows how to contact me and if he doesn't...so be it and yesssss you are right again, I don't owe him ANYTHING.....I am actually going out on a date with a Gemini of all people (apparently a perfect match with a Leo, however, the last Gemini created such havoc!!!)...goes to show, we shouldn't rely only on star signs!! lol This guy has already sent me numerous texts, 1st thing in the morning and last thing at night - THAT to me shows a hell of a lot more than Mr Libra ever did to date.....days and even now a week before any communication and I just cant keep doing this on somebody elses' terms...done the patience thing, been cool and not clingy/emotional...none of it has made any difference so he can have his singles sites and sit there every night. I want to go out and have fun in the real world. I have a terrible fear though, that Mr Libra will get curious and start pursuing once more just as I get involved with somebody else....THAT would be sad but just my luck LOL but I do know that I am more interested in somebody who thinks of me everyday rather than somebody who thinks of me once or twice a week if Im lucky....I can only imagine what an exclusive relationship with him would be like...again, I think he's in some sort of a depressed state but there's nothing I can do to help him snap out of it.

Keep posted and thanks again 🙂

*** 1st thing in the morning and last thing at night

It also shows ownership and control. He is making sure there aren't any other men in the picture at those times. Put that as a little pink flag, as it may be nothing, but look for other possessive behavior.

*** I want to go out and have fun in the real world.

Right on sister!

*** I have a terrible fear though, that Mr Libra will get curious and start pursuing once more just as I get involved with somebody else

They always do. It is guydar. But it is his bad luck not yours.

lol little sparrow!! I actually ended up chatting to Mr Libra last night....he mentioned he was going to his work Xmas show on Saturday night, along with his calendar over the next few days for drinks, etc and asked "what's your itinerary like?"....thinking that it might be a round about kind of invitation to one of these I casually mentioned I didnt have all that much on (as last week was pretty hectic for me), a few catch up things with friends but nope, nothing eventuated!!!.....I think Im done hoping for a miracle but yep, one little conversation and he's forgiven for lack of communication over the last week LOL. Again though, I think in the 10th week its about time he made a move - this hasn't happened so blah to him!!

Again, I am looking forward to getting out there again and having some fun (kinda wasted waaaaaaaaay too much time sitting around waiting for the elusive Libra)....yes, you are probably right about the Gemini (as I mentioned before, was previously with a very controlling Gemini for 6 years and man was I glad to get out of that relationship!!)...if he even shows a remote presence like that, Im outta there!! But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Anyway that's tomorrow night (Thursday). Will keep you posted.

tomorrow night is Thursday where you are? It'll only be Wednesday for me...oh that's right you're DOWN UNDER 😛

Yep in Australia....we're a tad in front of you guys!!! We're half way through Wednesday now