Will Libra male come back (Page 2)

QS- Your so right! He doesnt want me! Forget about false hopes! and forget about me having done something wrong!

Thanks im going to keep thinking like that when i start to obsess over whether i ruined everything and how much i miss him.

He DOESNT WANT ME! Its time to move on. Ive done enough crying, worrying, etc.. im over that bit now. SO now its time to move on!

Thank you xxxx

"P Angel is that post aimed towards me?"


No .. most things I comment on in here, and real-life, is based off of analyzing human behaviour .. which has been pulled from something somebody said for me to psycho-analzye. So, though, it may stem from this particular situation in which I philosophize human conditions, it's not really person pacific.

And I on the other-hand disagree what has been said. For somebody to say that they are unsure about something, isn't confirmation that they don't want something.

If I said to my husband that I'm not sure what I want for Christmas ..... is in no way saying, I don't want anything.

He didn't say he doesn't want you, or that he doesn't care about you .. he said he isn't sure what he wants.

Additionally, like I said before, a person doesn't have the capability to just turn their heart off like that (except a Pisces, who never is really connected to feelings in the first place). But, you're a Taurus, and so therefore your emotions are tied, and cannot be turned off. If you attempt to just write-him-off without having closure, you'll fuck yourself up even more. You're not a water person, and this is what water people are erroneously telling you to do.

Listen to your earth-mates ... they are telling you to go to him, personally and confront him, so that you can have the closure you need to actually move-on.

And in your position, this is exactly what I would do ....

"we as Bulls from what I've been told are attached to the ones we love and have a hard time letting go. We tend to want things the way we want it and we dwell."

"if you want closure, you have to make the move."


The above came from a Bull ... and she would be correct. You're an earth person, you will dwell and make yourself sick over this without closure. The option of just walking away without it, is not the right answer for you .. you will be forever plagued with all the "what ifs".

Michelle, you can't just walk away. You're hung up and hurt over this guy. If you could walk away from this without giving him another thought, you would have done so already. It's not your nature to leave your emotions at the door. Granted, when I FINALLY have had enough with something, that's it, I'm done - but not after much dwelling and analyzation.

Do you feel you're above emailing or calling him? I don't think you are. I think you are someone who regrets a few steps along the way and want to make things right. I think that even if that means the two of you parting ways, you would be happier knowing you got the closure you wanted so you don't hold onto and carry with you baggage to the next relationship you have.

Quite Frankly .. I don't think it's over with Matt. A man who loves a woman doesn't treat her the way he did you (before the "issue") if he isn't in love with her.

This man proved himself that he thinks the world of you in the way he treated you, Michele .. most women would give one of their fallopian tubes to have a man who cherishes her like he did you.

And then "it" happened .......

A Libra isn't a kind of person who will just blow off an emotional incident like other people will. The rest of us will just think, "Ok, that's just being human, we all have emotional situations in which we lose ourselves for a minute .. over and done with .. let's get back to normal." A Libra can't do that ... they have to carry this over to their mind to reason-out every little detail, to see what it means.

This is just the way they are. People freak-out in thinking that he must not love me, he isn't paying attention to me, he isn't hearing me, he doesn't call me .... and it's because they can just write-off an incident the moment the emotional spike has calmed down and passed .. and so they allow all these other speculated thoughts crowd their mind that is telling them something that isn't the truth.

He is a Libra, Michele ... and in so being .. he MUST thoroughly and totally analyze what this incident meant, and CANNOT just blow it off and strike it up to being insignificant ... for nothing is to them, everything means something.

Everything means something .. and they must find the answer before they can decide what is right. And that's all this is that is going on right now .... he's just being a Libra.

Isn't that beautiful, though? I mean, wouldn't you rather have the heart of a man who is sure of himself before he makes a rash move? You know you can always count on him to make the right decision because he has put the proper attention into it ... no taking blind leaps. I think that's a marvelous quality to possess, and one of the many reasons I loved my Libra so much (and still do, eventhough he's an ex).

He needs time, Michele ... he just needs time to put this into perspective. In the meantime, you should make sure he knows just how dear he is to you too.

P Angel and HP - It is true he said he didnt know what he wanted. He didnt say i dont want anything!

I completely agree about the closure thing.

For two weeks we didnt speak to eachother he didnt call me and i didnt call him for 2 weeks. During this time i swear i was making myself ill. I eventually couldnt handle it anymore so i text him to ask him out for a drink. Which is when he replied not sure what i want at the minute.

I actually felt a million times better just knowing having that closure to move on as you say. I explained myself to him about how i overreacted and that i was sorry not emotional just stating facts. But thats when he replied im sorry if iv hurt you but i just that since we were together i dont know what it is that i want and to go back to how things were would be unfair to you.

Now to me that is closure! I apologised, i explained myself and he still replied he didnt know what he wanted. What more could i do than to walk away as the girl that i am. I didnt get arsey, dramatic i said to i understand, i think your the most amazing guy ive ever met and i will miss you. Make sure you stay special and keep singing really loud. (he used to sing really loud when he was around me lol)

Now unfortunately i consider that closure. Which is why i now feel i must move on with my life as if i keep living in hope that he will come back. Something im great at by the way living in that hope. My lived in that hope for 4 years with my abusive partner hoping hed change, hed stop, hed realise how much he loved me. It never happend. I could have saved myself alot of wasted years if i thought this way earlier.

So i really feel i have to feel this way about Matt, I miss him, i care for him dearly but he dosent know what he wants hes given me closure. So now i must move on and not live in this false hope of waiting and thinking he may come back.

Do you agree with me P angel? xxxxx

"i dont know what it is that i want and to go back to how things were would be unfair to you."


I'm not sure I fully understand what that means ...... the way things were, was beautiful and loving ... so how would this equate to being unfair to you? Does it mean that since he isn't sure, that if he went back to that, then it would mean he was having to fake showing you love?

If that's what it means .... then, it is likely that he is no longer in love with you, and would constitute closure.

P angel - i have just read your message.

thank you for taking the time to write your messages. I feel ive been going on now for a while and im worried im sounding very boring lol..

I would be happy to show the man i love how dear he is to me, but i just dont know how to without coming across as im pressuring him or stalking him.

How do you think i should do this xxx

However, I'm not sure you really believe this ... for the whole purpose of this thread was for you to express that you are longing for him to come back and you want to know how long you have to endure until he does.

Telling yourself what it is you need to hear for your own benefit can't be a wrong direction to pursue, if it's for your sake ... my main worry is that you step-out before you've really settled this in your heart and then turn around and fall prey to re-bound, which will be worse torment than what you've been experiencing with Matt.

p angel - i think what he was trying to say was:- he now doesnt know what he wants (since my overreaction and us not talking for a while) so to go back to us being together whilst he doesnt know what he wants would be unfair to me.

does that make you change your opinion now? xxx

Perhaps, you should try writing him a long letter .. because by doing this, you can make sure that you don't say anything you'll regret due to an emotional upheavel. Talking to him in person or on the phone, you will always be at risk of blurting out something he might say to hurt your feelings because you are pining away, so your feelings are teetering on a precipice and would easily fail you eventhough you'd be trying hard to keep them in check .... but, in a letter, you can get everything out .. without any regretful inflection.

***And I on the other-hand disagree what has been said. For somebody to say that they are unsure about something, isn't confirmation that they don't want something.***

I didn't mean he will never want her in life! He clearly doesn't right now at the moment or his response and actions would be "I WANT YOU" not "I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT YOU" No one can ever predict what might happen. Right now there is no confirmation that he does, so why cry and stress over it... Accept that and keep living your life... He will come to a conclusion on his own. Hopefully he will decide to but don't put your hopes on it because it can destroy you if he decides the the opposite.

"he now doesnt know what he wants (since my overreaction and us not talking for a while) so to go back to us being together whilst he doesnt know what he wants would be unfair to me."


That sounds about right for a Libra .... Fair is their motto.

Now, as I think about this for what it really means ... makes me believe even moreso that he is a decent man. You know, look at how many men there are out there who would just abuse a woman's heart, and would never stop to even consider whether he was being fair to her sensitivities, and just use her.

He's not doing that, and he could ... because you love him so much that you take him back in a second, and if he was an asshole and used women that you would be open game to him.

But, he's not doing that .... he won't hurt you even further by playing you, when he could. He's more concerned about what is fair to your heart, as it pertains to him while he's on his journey of finding his truth.

I still maintain what I've always said, from the beginning .. this man loves you, Michele.

He needs time to find his truth .. just time. And I would never give up hope that he finds it, whether it included me, or not.

He has to be who he is .. he cannot be anything else. Oftentimes, when people are trying to love a Libra (and it gets talked about repeatedly in here) ... they are too impatient, and fail to comprehend that a Libra REQUIRES space and time to find their truth ... and the people trying to date them, give up long before.

I don't know it just seems this guy is a jerk ass flake that led you on, I'm not one for sugar coating, this guy never saw you as an exclusive anything, more likely you were much more into him than he was into you thus its easy for him to walk away and I know some will jump on my ass but Libra men tend to date more than one person at a time, always looking for something better maybe due to being so dayum fickle and reluctant to settle.

Its time for you to say f*ck him and move on, he's running game now I know some will say he's not but I truly feel when men start apologizing and saying I didn't mean to hurt you which we all know is bullshit, of course he meant to hurt you or he would be in your life and for you to THINK its you is such BS it's not even funny.

Your emotions cloud your judgement and your not seeing this dude for what and who he really is, truth be told he more than likely never saw you as a potential longterm and did something to sabotage the relationship leaving you hanging on. I'm not saying your feelings are wrong but I am saying his feelings were never that deep, men don't push away good women unless there is something he's already into with someone else. He felt you bonding too him much more quickly than he was ready for and had to pull out before things got ugly....MEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT, stop listening to that bullshit line, most just want what they can't have and/or want there cake and eat it type of mindset.

I bet if you followed him around he would be in someone elses arms more than likely playing games with her head too and trust me Mr.Libra would have never initiated contact with you after the fact because he's moved on, sorry for your pain but its time to let go and remember always have a plan BC and D because men always do and thats why he's not worrying about you. If you had been dating men, not sleep with but dating more you wouldn't have felt the brunt of loss or even noticed he was gone yet again thats why your Libra is chilling and not thinking about you b/c he was more than likely dating others and pining over a lost love.

Your a strong bull, once he's out of your emotional veins you will have to remind yourself why you even liked him in the first place.

Oh and all this write letters, email him, text him is BS too, leave the dayum guy alone, he doesn't CARE about your feelings or he would be in your life right now...jus go okay, he doesn't need to know how much your heart is bleeding, why give him that power, let his loser ass go on.

Write the letter and burn it, email it to yourself, let it out of your system and move on, I know your a sensouse bull and Taurus people draw love quickly, focus on the healthy part of your life...it's his loss! He wasn't the one, move on and let him be, the more you push towards him the more confused he will pretend and you reaching out will make it worse for you and him.

Michelle, I feel that what he meant by him not knowing what he wanted after the falling out is he evaluated the situation and asked himself if he could handle the guilt trips and the games every time he did something you didn't like. Men can't read our minds. Most times, they simply mean what they say at face value, but as women we misconstrue their words (because there are some who are men of few words).

I'm not sure how long you dated this guy, but it's time to move on. I know you're holding onto hope that he'll come back but you're weakening your self esteem and self worth by hoping and praying a man like this will come back into your life. LeoKit is right, he blew you off by not calling or texting you back after 2 weeks. I disagree you were desperate because he dn't know the circumstances behind you calling or texting him twice within that timeframe.

At this point, since you've already gotten the closure you wanted, I say move on. If it helps, write him a letter, but DO NOT mail or deliver it to him. This will help tremendously...write down everything you want to say, everything good about him, everything bad, etc. Get it out there. Read it a few times - remind yourself of why you did this (he hurt you, he blew you off, he led you on, etc.)..do this enough times and you will not need that letter and you can throw it out with the trash.

I've been reading P=Angel's posts about Earth signs. You and I are both Taurus and I think I relate the best to you because you've described some things I've done. I think I might have a tougher skin than you when it comes to moving on, but the way you describe your emotions were similar to mine when I was your age.

You're not desperate! Don't heed those words. If writing helps you, then do it - it's not BS. Everyone heals different. Find your cure.

*we don't know the circumstances...

I just want to clear a few things up. Regarding me being desperate.

Matt and I were in a relationship, he told me we were together he went on his facebook thing put he was in relationship. Made sure i wasnt dating anyone and he was saying he wasnt dating anyone. Unfortunately i made things hard for him because i have baggage from another relationship which i now understand i need to deal with. I cancelled our date as i thought he seemed a bit cocky on the phone. Not really the actions of a desperate women i dont think. I called him got his voicemail. He called me back when i was on the phone to my friend and got my voicemail. I rang him back and his phone was off it was quite late and he turns his phone off. But his phone says a number has called you. So i thought its now up to him to call me back.

He didnt altho you say he was blowing me off, when i was out that weekend he was staring at me on the dancefloor i thought if he isnt coming over then sod him. A week later he drove past my house. I wasnt gonna flag him down so i carried on about my business and he carried on driving when he got to end of the road he beeped at me. Dont think a guy would bother himself with this behaviour if he was so not interested in me. I wasnt sure if he knew i called as his phone was off so i text him asked to meet up for a drink as this was getting silly. He said he had the flu, he did he was off work! So said hope he felt better and gave him his space. Then i text him a week 1/2 later still hearing nothing from him as i wanted him to say what was going on. Thats when i got the i dont know what i want thing.

I told Matt he was amazing because he was. Ive known him for 7 years, he liked me since he first met me but i took a while to realise how special he was.
We were together 4 months during that time he made me dinner quite a few times, took me out, introduced me to his mates, took me to a football game, made me breakfast, spent nearly all weekend with me. Xmas morning he made me breakfast and put my present beside my egg on toast. It was expensive perfume in a posh bag etc.. valentines he took me to an expensive restaurant in a village 3 course meal and had a box of expensive chocs and a card for me. He made me cups of tea, he always gave me the remote control. He called himself my wife jokingly. THAT IS WHY I TOLD HIM HE WAS AMAZING BECAUSE HE WAS!!

women seem to be genecticly dumb when it comes to a man. When he stops you stop simple as that, if you continue to go back seeking closure you will never truly get it, him saying i'm confused etc is not closure it's called making excuses and she deserves better, men don't get that confused, I wish women could grasp this concept, they KNOW exactly what they want and the way the relationship is be it good or bad in her eyes is exactly the way he wants it to be or he would change it.

She was more emotionally tied to him than he to her thus he moved on, it had NOTHING to do with her, when men have commitment issues they tend to make it seem like it was something the woman has done within the union but in all reality he wasn't that into the relationship, men don't let go of what they are deeply attracted to. His level of attraction wasn't strong enough, he had other issues and more than likely was dating other women. Why so many excuses for men, it is what it is, find a way to accept it and let it go, make sure it doesn't happen again, make sure before giving your heart to a man he's fully into the relationship, ask questions, pay attention to his ACTIONS not his words, men say all kinds of stuff and don't mean any of it, they live in the NOW so you really can't go by what he says for tomorrow....the day he says it is also the day he's changing his mind by the next day.

look at how consistent he is behavior wise and also look at what he gave while in the relationship. Did you give more, did you do more, did you make things easy for him, did he take more initiative in the relationship and give equally??

look at what role he portrayed, most times it's the woman doing the majority of the work in the relationship and when the man leaves it hurts like hell because she's more emotionally and physically invested...the one that gives the most yearns and hurts the most and holds on hoping for a better outcome, if a man can walk away just like that, no contact, no nothing well it means he was riding the wave and had nothing to lose by letting go because he didn't give much in the first.

Michele .. these women are carrying baggage from an injury, and equating your situation with their own pain ... they have given up hope, and would preach hopelessness .. to just keep moving on and on from one to another to another to another ... until you find a man who will give you hope.

Hope doesn't come from another person to give to you ... it comes from you to keep hoping and fighting for what your heart tells you is right so you won't become hopeless.

You know what your heart tells you .. this is your path.

He didn't walk away just like that tiki ... a situation happened in which both parties participated in that led to a falling out.

You people are making assumptions that this man just bailed on her, leaving her high and dry and that's not the case.

Ok lemme bring it down a notch, I sound arrogant but honestly I mean well, I have been were some of you have been and it takes being honest with oneself be it from you did nothing wrong to make a person leave to what really drove you into his arms in the first place, most of us and I say us b/c I have been there too, most of us are lonely and alone, hormones are jumping like crazy, is lacking something be it sex, love, touch and it can drive women in the arms of a man that they would normally not pay too much attention to, I'm not saying all of us are like this but if we really sit down and ask ourselves what made us attracted to XYZ in the first place and be honest about it to ourselves the grieving process wouldn't be so traumatic.

For example I chose men that reminded me of my past which was riddled with pockets of grief, lack, abuse and trauma, my first encounter with male energy was negative thus the cycle began and I had some pretty toxic relationships, it took some soul searching, some therapy for me to break that cycle of toxicity, I'm not saying every woman should take the route I took but I can look realistically at my choices and know why I chose this and that guy and once I was able to fit the puzzle pieces together of why I allowed myself to be treated poorly I was able to break that cycle.

P Angel no one is hopeless so I'm not sure were your picking that up but I guess we all interpret things differently, he left her high and dry because he's not with her NOW, he even blew her off in regards to getting that drink so he's done with the relationship and anything else that goes down will be a revolving door type relationship. She can have all the hope she chooses and I sincerely believe most of us on this board have hope for ourselves and others but that doesn't mean were going to play patty cake and lemme hold your hand and tell you what you wanna here games.

That's you .. this is Michele and her situation. Like I said, people are equating their own injuries to this situation basing it off of their own pain.

Matt isn't the one who treated Michele poorly .. it was the other way around and which led to this falling out and which led to Matt now needing to have space to work out what it is his truth.

He hasn't left her, he hasn't said he doesn't want her .. he said that he is unsure now .. and needs space to work it out.

"he left her high and dry because he's not with her NOW, he even blew her off in regards to getting that drink so he's done with the relationship"


No he didn't .. that's an assumption you are saying based off of your own previous injury .. you have no clue as to whether he is done with the relationship.

I'm not in pain, I have worked that out, so i'm good thanks

Again actions speak louder than words, I'm sure Michelle appreciates your point of view.

If a person does something in a relationship which is questionable, then the person in which this is done to has every right to have a need to pull back to re-evaluate the circumstances and how they feel about continuing .. don't you agree?

Who doesn't agree with that?


Listen up .... these two people BOTH participated in fucking this up, and now he has pulled away to re-evaluate .. and there's not a damn thing wrong with that on his part. It doesn't say anything about his actions in which is questionable.

Simply because he is male is NOT justification to assume that his actions of needing to re-evaluate how he feels about a woman is wrong.

"the big "thing" that occurred was a cancelled date—?"


Nope, it had nothing to do with a date.

She did fuck up, leokitten .. they both did. And she has properly placed blame on both sides, accordingly.

And it's something that happened that isn't even mentioned in this post .. it was an issue of mis-communication due to each being in a different emotional position, which led to words said hatefully that weren't meant.

Words spoken in anger and restentment do speak very loudly ... and not every person has the capability to just blow them off as if they were never said .. some people need more time to re-evaluate the situation, which is exactly what Matt needs right now.

This had nothing to do with a date ..... it started over a kind of gravy or some sort of sauce the next night for dinner and then esclataded into a full-blown problem with communication because feelings were injured.

The night she called him in which his tone was harsh was due to him having a conversation with his father in which aggrevated him .. so, when Michele called him, excited about her gravy she was making, his tone was rude because he was already in a place of irritation .... his irritation had NOTHING to do with her ... he was already in a nasty mood before he ever picked up the phone.

She took it personally and started laying guilt-trips on him about his attitude towards her and being disrespected. I told her from the very beginning that this was largely due to her taking it personally. Every person in this world gets irritated and aggrevated ... and it's our responsibility as adults to realize and fully comprehend that if another person has been pissed-off (by a different party), then they are going to "act" pissed-off in their mood and this is NO reflection on how they feel about us.

You are in a relationship .. you know damn well that people get into moods due to outside influences .. and if you phoned your man and he was in a foul mood ... you'd pick up on this instantly and comprehend that right now isn't a good time to "expect" him to respond to you excited and thrilled about your gravy you are making him. You will fully realize that the tone of his words will be harsh due to having a private issue with his father, and NOT take it personally to strike back at him as if he was meaning to hurt you .. because it wasn't about you .. you would understand that it's about him and his father, and allow him to cool off before expecting him to respond to you sweetly.

But, that's not what happened .. she retaliated against him as if his tone was meant to hurt her specifically.

At that point, it got worse .. that night she stewed over how much resentment she had about his tone with her, and so contacted him the next day to let him have it ........ he pulled away at that point.

I told her then and still maintain ... he probably didn't even realize he was taking a tone with her. Who ever realizes we're taking a tone with a person when it isn't even intended to be directed towards that person?

This all has taken place over a mis-understanding .... and that's all. A mis-understanding that sometimes two people who are in a relationship will be on a different emotional level at times, and won't allows be able to express their emotions according to an expectation.

Sometimes, it just doesn't ... other times, we have to realize that it is fixable, and a mis-understanding is fixable.

If these two hearts really love each other and I believe they do .. then effort should be put into mending the gap.

If I broke up with my husband everytime he took a tone with me, it would have been like .. let's see 365 days in a year, 25 years .... that would be like 9,000 times.

It's fixable, from my perspective .. but, the problem is that it keeps continuing .. for example ..

"i said fine i can see i meant nothing to you by the way you have just dropped me. He said it wasnt like that he just doesnt know what it is he wants. I text back saying i thought he was the most amazing guy id ever met and make sure he stays special. He replied that was so nice and for me to take care"

Another guilt-trip because he wasn't ready to have a drink and talk about it ... then a follow up text with a mixed message saying he's the most amazing guy and is special.

Mixed signals all over the place .... and due to a communication issue between the two.

You're probably right, leokitten, as usual .... communication is key, and if two people can't "talk" out their problems, then they will never be able to transcend into a real relationship based around trust and respect.

why is she the one having to fix it?? If he wants her as much as she wants him then he needs to make it clear and stop all the ignoring, lack of communication bs....he can figure out what he wants while he's still interacting and playing a role in her life.

If it's fixable, then both parties need to participate in this mending. To say it's all his fault for "lack" of communication would be in error ... for she also uses "improper" communication by trying to guilt him. So, this is a two-way road.

However, somebody has to make a move ... and it doesn't make a person small to make this first move .. on the contrary .. it takes a stronger, bigger person to step-up without fear of rejection.

My suggestion to her was to write him a letter .. if he doesn't respond, or if he does and he still rejects her .. then at least she will have the satisfaction that she put in enough effort and won't be plagued with any what if's. At least then she will know that she tried to be the adult about it, and fix the problem, rather than sulk.

THANK YOU LeoKitten and Tiki for your posts !! Tiki all that you said is precisely what I stated before as well. You made my point even better in your post here. (BTW: I too am in a great relationship now and Michele will be soon as well when she's ready to move on and she is trying to do that. It has NOTHING to do with ***equating their own injuries to this situation basing it off of their own pain.***** It's the truth of what we've all learned from those experiences)

TIKI: you nailed it with this statement alone: *****if a man can walk away just like that, no contact, no nothing well it means he was riding the wave and had nothing to lose by letting go because he didn't give much in the first.*********

This is what I've been saying all along to P-Angel as well! But you're simply statement sums it up quite nicely.

It makes no sense to chase after a guy that "just isn't that into you"?

She made a move via text and he blew her off, P Angel you are a huge excuse maker with many many words. You have been in a relationship how many years? Which means your sorta out of the loop, Michelle reached out to him, he rejected, so how many more times shall she be the bigger person and her having to be the bigger person, the more mature adult in itself is questionable, if this guy is so immature that she has to text and write letters only to be rejected how is that good for Michelle?

I'm a bit puzzled by your excuses in regards to this situation....

If he WANTS her, he will make room to talk to her, see her, be with her, he should be making the move towards her so she can be sure she's what he wants instead of her having to soft sell herself to him. He has made it clear irregardless of what we think, he's pushed her out and for her to go at again with a letter seems utterly ridiculous.

I completely disagree with that ... after she texted him and he declined seeing her due to feeling ill .. he has driven by her house and then beeped her and he also went to the same pub as her and watched her from a distance all night.

That is an indication that he is still interested ... but, unsure how to approach.

Ladies .. please take your prejudices due to your own past injuries out of the picture and look at what is happening here in full.

"he should be making the move towards her"

It's not any more his responsibility to make the first move, as it is Michele's .. so to say he 'should' make the first move as if it's an obligation on his part is bullshit. Just because a person is male, doesn't mean this is his duty ... either party of a union that is in peril can take this position, without it being a 'should' on either side.

That's a total immature statement .... and acting like a Princess, who thinks she should be catered to.

"It has NOTHING to do with ***equating their own injuries to this situation basing it off of their own pain.***** It's the truth of what we've all learned from those experiences)"


That is a complete contridiction, Temple (normal for you) .. to equate something to your own injuries of a situation that is based off of your own pain IS the exact same thing as .... it's the truth of what we've all learned from those experiences.

"if a man can walk away just like that, no contact, no nothing well it means he was riding the wave and had nothing to lose by letting go because he didn't give much in the first"


That is an inaccurate assumption .... no contact, no nothing


He is lingering in the shadows, letting himself be seen by her, making sure she acknowledges he is there ... that doesn't equate to 'nothing' .. it does however, equate to = still there, but, unsure of how to approach or communicate with her.

No one's using past hurts so again I'm not sure were your getting that picture, your choosing to paint that picture not us.

Your responses towards this issue screams your an enabler P Angel. You would rather make it easy for a man than deal with the deeper issues of a males behavior.

Michelle is a grown woman, she will know what to do towards this issue, common sense without emotions dragging down logic will tell Michelle no matter how much he stares, no matter how much he beeps and pass by her house he has to step up, man up and come to her, if he chooses to use this passive aggressive behavior to get her attention then he's not ready for a relationship, he's merely being a coward and walking up the escalator backwards...she will always be confused by this guy.

This guy knows her, he's spent time with her, more than likely had some great times with her, he's not a child, it doesn't take a genius to walk up and say hey your really on my mind and lets jus hang out a bit, start over. Are you trying to tell me this guy is too fragile that he can't come to her. If Michelle is always going to him than once again she will never know if this man really wants to be in her life and on top of that she will always feel rejected when he's too ill or frustrated to hang out...she should not subject herself to this kind of passive behavior b/c her self esteem will be shot down the toilet if she goes down that road with him.

If a person can step away from a situation and let it alone, it will work itself out, if he truly wants to be in her life he will find a way to be there.

So cold, you ladies are to this woman's heart ... she loves this man.

"Your responses towards this issue screams your an enabler P Angel. You would rather make it easy for a man than deal with the deeper issues of a males behavior."


It's doubtful that anybody in here knows more about the psychology of human behaviour than I do, tiki .. and if there are, they would be very few .. certainly not you.

Just what deeper issues of male behaviour that infer?

A commitment issue?

He doesn't have a commitment issue ... he is evident, can you not see that?

"if he chooses to use this passive aggressive behavior to get her attention then he's not ready for a relationship, he's merely being a coward and walking up the escalator backwards"


P/A behaviour isn't indicative of relationship maturity.

And yes .. I would rather make it easier for people, rather than turn away and ignore a problem they may have.

Are you suggesting that you would rather walk away from a person who might need your assistance in dealing with life, rather than help them cope?

Call that being an enabler if you choose .. I call it being compassionate, and sacrificing myself on the behalf of the one I love, for his benefit. Furthermore, once he realizes he can trust you, and you are concerned about him ... if he has an issue in which he is struggling with, then he'll trust you enough to open up, so you can help him deal with it.

Sounds to me like you are a person who would ignore another is they aren't up to par according to your expectations .. selfish.

Are you a Leo?

Love doesn't mean let some guy wrap you up so tight like a juicy sausage that can only be popped by him. Love is mutual, how can he go from 360 to 0 and treat her the way he has, thats BS.

Once again P Angel you words scream enabler, you would rather make excuses for a man than see him as he is, so as it should be. Share that...Hold on to that, seems to work for you.

You have one thing stuck in your head and cannot see beyond that, tiki .... you have it in your mind that he has mistreated her.

He hasn't treated her badly without justification ... that is what you are missing here, and are unable to see because your mind is stuck on him being wrong for something, while she remains an innocent victim.

P-A.......I've been lurking 🙂 & I do have to say that I have been in complete agreement with you & thought you gave some wonderfull advice to Michelle, I do believe that a strong woman could pour her heart out to the one she loves Knowing that she may may not receive the response she'd like to hear, I do believe that weak women are the ones who play the cat & mouse game. In my book games = lies. plain & simple. I was behind you all the way until I learned what this whole situation started over. I can understand having hurt feelings & being disappointed in Matts response to Michelles gravy. I've been there, but not with gravy, anyway you get over something like that fairly quickly, especially after hearing why he had attitude. When he explained to her that he had been having a issue with his father, it should have been fairly easy for her to say......"Oh I didn't realize"...."I'm sorry, would you like to talk about it"

Puhleeeeeze P Angel *shakes head*

He isn't her husband, she doesn't have to do anything but live her life, be happy, love herself and be selfish, it's so funny how men can be selfish bastards and when women give themselves the same gift it's wrong...your essentially making excuses for his bad behavior, saying it's okay as long as she's the bigger person it's laughable, being single is about being self centered and taking care of self.

giving too much ends in resentment, when a person gives more than the other thats all he/she is left with, it's time to step back, allow him to do what he needs to do be it staring, driving by, watching, it's his to deal with, why is she focusing on what he's doing, who cares, she should be focusing on her life, focused on healing, it's time to take care of self, heal self and if he wants to be there he will be.

His problems isn't hers to deal with, why should she take ownership of his issues. You and her think alike and thats why he's not in her life b/c she continues to give more to him than he deserves. I like how you create this dream world and live in it ie call it truth, Pisces maybe.