
Ajna
@Aju
8 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 872 · Posts: 1654 · Topics: 48











Posted by FuckItWhateverPosted by _Dazed
"Sorry. I'm vegan and gluten intolerant."
“I’m food intolerant”click to expand


Posted by FuckItWhateverPosted by _Dazed
"Sorry. I'm vegan and gluten intolerant."
“I’m food intolerant”click to expand


Posted by nanobot
Go and suck it up
If they did a lot for you, going is the least you can do
Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and some situations being empathic or an introvert is not an excuse


Posted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?


Posted by MyStarsShine
Just tell them you won’t be able to make it but will catch up next time
You don’t have to do anything unless you choose to. I did that for years Aju, not now though.


Posted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?click to expand

Posted by shakedownPosted by Aju
If a group of people did a lot for you
and all they want is for you to come
over for dinner,how do you say no?
If you're highly introverted and
empathetic, I wish it wasn't so
hard to say this . ..
Just say you have a lot to do in regards to work. Tell them you are in the process of looking for a new job, which requires constantly submitting applications and updating your résumé. All of those things are very time consuming. Tell them you just don't have time for such activities at the moment. Take a rain check.click to expand

Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Tbh it’s rude if they’ve done a lot for you. It’s the way to isolate yourself more because that’s hard for people when they help someone.
Why are you so uncomfortable? I get you are introverted and empathic, but is there something in particular that makes it hard. Do they say things to make you feel more uncomfortable? Are they trying to get you to be social or do they just want to see you, spend time with you.click to expand

Posted by but_didyoudie
Honesty is the best policy. Tell them exactly why you cannot go, which is exactly what you just said on here.
And that's what's going to be.
Because one lie leads to another then another then everyone will see you as a liar...which would be bad.

Posted by _Dazed
"Sorry. I'm vegan and gluten intolerant."

Posted by AjuPosted by _Dazed
"Sorry. I'm vegan and gluten intolerant."
They want to make me something vegan too...click to expand

Posted by TheRabbit
"Sorry, I'm an empath"


Posted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by _Dazed
"Sorry. I'm vegan and gluten intolerant."
They want to make me something vegan too...
"Sorry. I eat meat. Steak preferably. Rare."click to expand

Posted by Gemitati
What have they done for you?
And if it’s something you grateful about just GO and shut ta fuck up!


Posted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?click to expand

Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Tbh it’s rude if they’ve done a lot for you. It’s the way to isolate yourself more because that’s hard for people when they help someone.
click to expand

Posted by AjuPosted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by _Dazed
"Sorry. I'm vegan and gluten intolerant."
They want to make me something vegan too...
"Sorry. I eat meat. Steak preferably. Rare."
lol no no....I actually am vegan and gluten intolerant lol
that's why they are going to make me that lolclick to expand

Posted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Nope.
People that are close to me know that I'm either sleeping (anytime of the day really on my days off), or just don't want to go out.
Those that are close to you will learn to respect that.
Just two weeks ago.. I was out at the pool of a friends. My bff sister shows up and immediately looked at me in confusion..
"Dazed?!!!—??"
Then we chilled and talked like it wasn't weird for me to be there. She knew that I don't always go out, but when I do.. it's because I want to be around people that I truly enjoy being with. They understand that I just like to be by myself most of the time.click to expand

Posted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by _Dazed
"Sorry. I'm vegan and gluten intolerant."
They want to make me something vegan too...
"Sorry. I eat meat. Steak preferably. Rare."
lol no no....I actually am vegan and gluten intolerant lol
that's why they are going to make me that lol
You're not giving me a lot of room to bullshit here.click to expand

Posted by Denali
I like what some people are saying in this thread...to be honest.
If they truly understood they won’t mind that you’re taking time for yourself.
How are you with one on one? Maybe make separate arrangements to meet with them, so you’re not overwhelmed.
Also, it doesn’t have to be dinner. It could be tea or a snack. That way you won’t have to spend a long time and can have a short meeting.

Posted by AjuPosted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Nope.
People that are close to me know that I'm either sleeping (anytime of the day really on my days off), or just don't want to go out.
Those that are close to you will learn to respect that.
Just two weeks ago.. I was out at the pool of a friends. My bff sister shows up and immediately looked at me in confusion..
"Dazed?!!!—??"
Then we chilled and talked like it wasn't weird for me to be there. She knew that I don't always go out, but when I do.. it's because I want to be around people that I truly enjoy being with. They understand that I just like to be by myself most of the time.
So True...
Thank You.
So if someone you didn't feel comfortable with who always gave you
things that you didn't ask for but were very grateful for, would you just
suck it up and just go hang out with them?
especially when you just need time to yourself?
I may suggest something else, I don't know what exactly but...I just can't...click to expand

Posted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Nope.
People that are close to me know that I'm either sleeping (anytime of the day really on my days off), or just don't want to go out.
Those that are close to you will learn to respect that.
Just two weeks ago.. I was out at the pool of a friends. My bff sister shows up and immediately looked at me in confusion..
"Dazed?!!!—??"
Then we chilled and talked like it wasn't weird for me to be there. She knew that I don't always go out, but when I do.. it's because I want to be around people that I truly enjoy being with. They understand that I just like to be by myself most of the time.
So True...
Thank You.
So if someone you didn't feel comfortable with who always gave you
things that you didn't ask for but were very grateful for, would you just
suck it up and just go hang out with them?
especially when you just need time to yourself?
I may suggest something else, I don't know what exactly but...I just can't...
Is it a group of people?click to expand

Posted by AjuPosted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by _DazedPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Nope.
People that are close to me know that I'm either sleeping (anytime of the day really on my days off), or just don't want to go out.
Those that are close to you will learn to respect that.
Just two weeks ago.. I was out at the pool of a friends. My bff sister shows up and immediately looked at me in confusion..
"Dazed?!!!—??"
Then we chilled and talked like it wasn't weird for me to be there. She knew that I don't always go out, but when I do.. it's because I want to be around people that I truly enjoy being with. They understand that I just like to be by myself most of the time.
So True...
Thank You.
So if someone you didn't feel comfortable with who always gave you
things that you didn't ask for but were very grateful for, would you just
suck it up and just go hang out with them?
especially when you just need time to yourself?
I may suggest something else, I don't know what exactly but...I just can't...
Is it a group of people?
yesclick to expand

Posted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?click to expand


Posted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Tbh it’s rude if they’ve done a lot for you. It’s the way to isolate yourself more because that’s hard for people when they help someone.
Why is it rude?
If you're being nice to someone with the expectation of getting something in return.. you're being nice for the wrong reasons.click to expand

Posted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?click to expand

Posted by AjuPosted by Sjess
I would suck it up and force myself to go
How would you say no though?click to expand


Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Tbh it’s rude if they’ve done a lot for you. It’s the way to isolate yourself more because that’s hard for people when they help someone.
Why is it rude?
If you're being nice to someone with the expectation of getting something in return.. you're being nice for the wrong reasons.
It’s two different things. It’s rude because it’s not showing appreciation for things they do. But, that has nothing to do with their intent of doing nice things.
I’m not sure why it’s such an awful thing to spend time with someone who did something nice for you. Sure you don’t have to, it just is about maintaining relationships with people. If you don’t care about that, then no big deal. Being rude shouldn’t matter to you then.click to expand

Posted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Tbh it’s rude if they’ve done a lot for you. It’s the way to isolate yourself more because that’s hard for people when they help someone.
Why is it rude?
If you're being nice to someone with the expectation of getting something in return.. you're being nice for the wrong reasons.
It’s two different things. It’s rude because it’s not showing appreciation for things they do. But, that has nothing to do with their intent of doing nice things.
I’m not sure why it’s such an awful thing to spend time with someone who did something nice for you. Sure you don’t have to, it just is about maintaining relationships with people. If you don’t care about that, then no big deal. Being rude shouldn’t matter to you then.
Do you understand the concept of social anxiety at all?click to expand

Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Tbh it’s rude if they’ve done a lot for you. It’s the way to isolate yourself more because that’s hard for people when they help someone.
Why is it rude?
If you're being nice to someone with the expectation of getting something in return.. you're being nice for the wrong reasons.
It’s two different things. It’s rude because it’s not showing appreciation for things they do. But, that has nothing to do with their intent of doing nice things.
I’m not sure why it’s such an awful thing to spend time with someone who did something nice for you. Sure you don’t have to, it just is about maintaining relationships with people. If you don’t care about that, then no big deal. Being rude shouldn’t matter to you then.
Do you understand the concept of social anxiety at all?
Yes I do. I have children with chronic anxiety & one has social anxiety. The thing is always hiding out from your fears does not help you function in this world.
That is why I asked her why first. She asked me if it was wrong. So I didn’t tell her it was wrong, but that it was rude. Just because you have social anxiety does not make it any less rude. My real concern is why is she having such a hard time. Is it not a safe place for her. She mentioned they can stay out of her life if she has to go.
Seriously my son has made huge strides in his, but I get the tendency to avoid. There are places he’d rather not go, but he gets this. If it’s really bad he just doesn’t go. He’ll lie instead of disappoint you. I understand so I get to the meat of the issue with him. I try to make things more comfortable. But I don’t sugarcoat it. It’s real life here.
I did not say you have to go btw. That is her choice. Plus she mentioned introverted and empathic that is different than social anxiety.click to expand

Posted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by _DazedPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Tbh it’s rude if they’ve done a lot for you. It’s the way to isolate yourself more because that’s hard for people when they help someone.
Why is it rude?
If you're being nice to someone with the expectation of getting something in return.. you're being nice for the wrong reasons.
It’s two different things. It’s rude because it’s not showing appreciation for things they do. But, that has nothing to do with their intent of doing nice things.
I’m not sure why it’s such an awful thing to spend time with someone who did something nice for you. Sure you don’t have to, it just is about maintaining relationships with people. If you don’t care about that, then no big deal. Being rude shouldn’t matter to you then.
Do you understand the concept of social anxiety at all?
Yes I do. I have children with chronic anxiety & one has social anxiety. The thing is always hiding out from your fears does not help you function in this world.
That is why I asked her why first. She asked me if it was wrong. So I didn’t tell her it was wrong, but that it was rude. Just because you have social anxiety does not make it any less rude. My real concern is why is she having such a hard time. Is it not a safe place for her. She mentioned they can stay out of her life if she has to go.
Seriously my son has made huge strides in his, but I get the tendency to avoid. There are places he’d rather not go, but he gets this. If it’s really bad he just doesn’t go. He’ll lie instead of disappoint you. I understand so I get to the meat of the issue with him. I try to make things more comfortable. But I don’t sugarcoat it. It’s real life here.
I did not say you have to go btw. That is her choice. Plus she mentioned introverted and empathic that is different than social anxiety.
1. Introversion and social anxiety are very closely linked.
2. Aju clearly mentions the anxiety brought on by these interaction, in a quote to you.click to expand

Posted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by AjuPosted by PuzzlePieces
Why don’t you want to go?
To be honest, me just being 'self first' more lately...
I'm just tired of sacrificing my time to be uncomfortable...
I've done enough of this when I was younger and I just feel over it...
With my mother's passing and a good friend passing too...
I JUST want to be to myself. Spend time alone mostly. Is this wrong?
Tbh it’s rude if they’ve done a lot for you. It’s the way to isolate yourself more because that’s hard for people when they help someone.
Why are you so uncomfortable? I get you are introverted and empathic, but is there something in particular that makes it hard. Do they say things to make you feel more uncomfortable? Are they trying to get you to be social or do they just want to see you, spend time with you.
Well..
It's kind of personal but
I'll just say that the energy just influences me to feel a bit of anxiety....
And I know a lot of people on this site will see me as rude, a real piece of work,
especially when they know how I feel in this thread. Some will also probably see me
as evil, mean, rude, or someone they thought they knew but now shocked...
But I'm actually VERY caring and I communicate to help so many.
But lately, I just haven't been in the right state of mind to go out of my comfort
zone to make others happy. I've done it before but right now I just can't and I won't.
It's kind of like if you lose so much and so many people who you love..
Would you do something that kept yourself from healing from all of that?
I just don't want them to take it personal and be hurtclick to expand
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and all they want is for you to come
over for dinner,how do you say no?
If you're highly introverted and
empathetic, I wish it wasn't so
hard to say this . ..