I've been told my father may die today, but what I don't understand is why I feel nothing; Scorpios are ment to be emotional. I love my dad to bits, is there something wrong with me for feeling nothing? or am I just a lot stronger as a person than I think.
Posted by everevolvingepithet Sorry to hear that Mr.Nice. *hug* I don't think it's wrong to say you feel nothing if you process things that way (internally etc ), you're being strong being there for him at this time imo.
I going to see him now, cheers mate for your kind words.
"thrill seeking dare devil who loves to live on the edge.... not really, but I
You are probably in shock. Well your brain is in shock anyway.
I think our nervous systems have an override mechanism built in so we can handle the ish when it is happening - so we can get through it at the time. This is why we can have a delayed reaction much later (when you least expect it, buying gelatos six months later.) Post Traumatic bizzo.
There is nothing wrong with how you're feeling, it stems from the numbing disbelief that this is happening. As your mind processes it you will go through a range of emotions. Do not let others dictate your own personal grieving process.
Shock, a coping mechanism that swaddles everything in cotton so that you can function. I felt the same when they told me my daughter was going to die. I simply refused to believe it. My brain wouldn't let me. I'm sure you're at hospital now with family, you have people thinking of you here too. Bit off center, left of field perhaps..but with good hearts. xx
In saying that i have read stories about people who's family member(s) died and they felt nothing. Because your supposed to have this special connection to your family and loved ones aren't you? And when one dies your supposed to feel it.
Fall seven times, stand up eight ~Japanese proverb
Mr. Nice, I am so very sorry you are going through this.
Anticipatory grief is a grief we tend to keep within ourselves. Not everyone experiences it and if they do, it is different for every person. You, as the loved one, may go through the 5 stages of grief (denial, bargaining, depression, anger and finally acceptance) first with anticipatory grief then again while mourning your loss. Anxiety, dread, guilt, and feeling overwhelmed are also very common.
The most difficult challenge with anticipatory grief is that it is difficult to endure for an extended period of time. Your mind can only handle so much angst and therefore, it may blank out self-protectively. This does not mean you are cold or uncaring. It does not mean you do not love and care for your Dad.
As vb mentioned earlier, denial places us on an emotional auto-pilot as a way to cope ???self preservation. This is perhaps a way to insulate yourself before the pain of grief happens. But we can't escape grief. Please don??t feel guilty about anything you may be feeling or not feeling. Instead, focus on making the best out of each moment you can spend with your Dad and focus on the positives, such as forgiveness and comforting each other in these precious moments.
When you witness other people who go through death, they speak of themselves and how sad they are about what they have lost or are losing. Even with people who came in here, they say they are sorry .. and what they mean is that they are sorry for YOU.
People, in general, tend to be self-absorbed and process everything in life according to what they, themselves, have, need or can benefit from. And even in death ... people are concerned with thier own pain, their own needs.
You are one of the rare ones ... one of the people who aren't so self absorbed that now that you aren't feeling sorry for yourself in pain .. it has shocked you, making you think somethign is wrong with you.
You said it yourself, you love him to bits ... and that is the emotion that you feel. That is all a person is suppose to feel when in your position.
Theres nothing unnatural about the way you feel .When our near and dear ones expire ,at some point of time ,we'r bound to feel the void left by their absence . Im positive ,this emotion too shall fade away into the background.Everything is impermanent. Peace !