Is Poly-ga-my The Next to be Legalized?

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Lovelyisis
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That was the title to the article I read. Doing some late night reading and ran across this article, which I actually found to be quite interesting. With sensitive subjects like "Gay Marriage" and "Polygamy", I try to keep an open mind without subjecting and projecting my own personal feelings of what I personally feel is "right/wrong" into one's life who engages in either. And as soon as politics come into the mix, then all hell breaks loose and everyone has their own personal opinion on the matter because they were raised a certain way and/or have very strong beliefs about the matter & gets injected into the debate. I'm not saying no one should, ffs I was raised a certain way & have certain beliefs as well, but that's just not enough to discredit/deny those who choose to live either of these lifestyles the same "rights" afforded to those of us who do not engage in either of them. Here is a bit from that article:

"Back in the early days of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender movement's push for marriage equality, this slippery slope to polygamy was pragmatically taboo. After all, arguments about gay marriage leading to polygamy were lobbed almost entirely with the purpose of derailing the gay rights agenda. And there was also something inherently offensive about making the connection, along the same lines of suggesting that gay marriage would lead to people marrying goats. Never mind the fact that opposite-sex goat-human marriage had been looming as a dangerous temptation all along??_

Still, people often mention polygamy and gay marriage in the same sentence (not to mention the same essay). Recently—in, surprise, Utah—a judge struck down a part of that state's anti-polygamy law. Mind you, the Utah law makes it a felony punishable by up to five years in prison when someone —cohabits with another person?? to whom they aren't legally married. This makes me wonder whether Utah also outlaws the combustion engine, the Internet and other realities of modern life, but anyway there you have it.

In other words, polygamy, as it generally is practiced in the United States, is a predominantly heterosexual enterprise—like heterosexuality (or the male ideal of heterosexuality) on steroids. After all, while the percentage of married women who have affairs has risen in recent decades, married men still do most of the cheating. Conservatives concerned about the high rate of divorce in America should stop blaming gay marriage but...
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Lovelyisis
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...(cont.) instead heterosexual infidelity—a prime culprit in 55 percent of divorces.

If couples want to bring cheating out of the deceitful shadows & instead incorporate it openly into their relationship — plus have more hands on deck for kids & more earners in the household in a tough economy—who are we to judge?

Seriously, I'm a bit too traditional & jealous for that sort of thing, but I'm also too traditional to wear jeggings outside the house. Still, you (mostly) don't see me judging anyone else for doing so.
In 2013 when the United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality for same-sex couples, pro-polygamy groups heralded the ruling as a step away from the conventional one-man one-woman definition of marriage and, thus, as opening the door to polygamy. I get that, & to an extent pro-polygamy activists may be trying to latch their still-widely unpopular cause onto the increasingly victorious rainbow bandwagon.

But while it's mildly understandable that some see these conversations as conceptually linked— —If we??re changing the marriage laws to include gay couples, how else might we change them— —polygamy doesn't inherently flow from gay marriage. If anything, what polygamy does flow from is a general opening up of options.
We increasingly allow Americans to define their own families for themselves while removing coercive public policy and judgmental social norms. And this idea, which is at the heart of everything from increasing access to birth control to the striking down anti-miscegenation laws to so much more, is exactly what conservative religious extremists have always opposed.

There are interesting arguments to be made for legalizing polygamy, from protecting children from secretive non-consensual multiple-marriage situations to how being —feminist?? actually means not protecting women from these marriages but letting them choose for themselves. All compelling points. But the truth is, I don't really care.

I won't be entering a polygamous relationship anytime soon. I live in New York City, so I simply don't have the space for more wives. And just like I don't have the ass for jeggings, I don't have the heart for non-monogamy.
But I do have a soft spot for allowing consenting adults to make their own decisions, and to be supported by their government in doing so, not constrained.??
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Of course this article was written by a guy but alot of his points are still my sentiments exactly...(with the exception of being "traditional" in a sense)! Those who are up for a good debate regarding this topic, please feel free to do so! Others PLEASE —TRY?? to keep your hurt —he/she cheated on me 1000 yrs ago while we were married/in a relationship so now I'm scorned for life?? feelings out of it??_.please & thank you??_.LOL!
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Posted by clooneyyears
Posted by Lovelyisis
Of course this article was written by a guy but alot of his points are still my sentiments exactly...(with the exception of being "traditional" in a sense)! Those who are up for a good debate regarding this topic, please feel free to do so! Others PLEASE —TRY?? to keep your hurt —he/she cheated on me 1000 yrs ago while we were married/in a relationship so now I'm scorned for life?? feelings out of it??_.please & thank you??_.LOL!



LOL CC all that cancer and still the robot sun shines! 😛
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LMAO Clooney!!! OMG I can't stand ur accuracy sometimes...LOL!!! It's a constant battle with that dam Crab of mines which often gets me in more dam trouble than I can handle at times! Hence the Virgo "robot" to the rescue...."can't we all just get along...in spite of!!!"....LMAO!!!! 😉
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Lovelyisis
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Nova & FirstDecan....

I truly agree that one dam person is ALOT to handle at one time and sometimes can be "too much" to handle...LOL! However, I also believe that those who choose to engage in a polygamy lifestyle on their own accord and are able to adapt to it and manage to deal with the similar problems a one-on-one relationship has and possibly more issues from a "mature" perspective....should still have the same "rights" as any other to do so.
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Lovelyisis
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Posted by BlackNova
Have there been any ancient cultures or examples of polygamous lifestyles in human history?
(not modern religious/spiritual cults)



Nova......it may not be well known/accepted by others....but here is something u may find a bit interesting....

"The history of polygamy dates back to a long time ago, since this has been practiced for many centuries by cultures from all over the world. The Hebrew society has partially accepted polygamy and there are traces that say that it happened in the classical China too. Polygamy was also encountered sporadically at the Native Americans, in the West African continent, Polynesia, India and the ancient Greece.

Polygamy was widely accepted throughout the world until the Roman Empire and the Roman Catholic Church has imposed the rules of having just one wife, but multiple other lovers were the norm.

Polygamy was widely accepted during the last two thousands of years in the Sub-Saharan Africa also.

Historical China has an even more interesting story to tell. Back in those days a child was considered to have more than one mother and he could have up to 4 mothers. The first wife was considered to be the official mother (in spoken language it was called "big mother") while the others were the unofficial mothers (in spoken language they were called "little mother" or "aunt").

This way the polygamous marriages were generally made out of one main wife, which was called the "queen wife" that has a higher status compared to the other wives and at the same time it also has a higher authority among the other wives."

I sometimes find that things/traditions we've often in the past labeled "abnormal" because it wasn't widely accepted in society...sometimes have a funny way of trickling down to becoming the "norm"....especially in Western society, and what was once considered taboo by "society in general" are no longer taboo....(i.e., public and legal swingers clubs or couples regularly engaging in menage-trois to spice up their marriage/relationship or simply to appeal & live out their fantasies). I just think that people have a "right" to even those things if they're grown enough to handle the "emotional" aspect of it, are secure in themselves, and go in willingly with both eyes open fully aware of the consequences.
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Lovelyisis
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Posted by tiziani
Yeah I think he actually misused the word "traditional" as a lot of people do.

The idea of having multiple women has never tantalized me. Give it some years for me maybe, it might kick in but so far I've only ever been interested in the one woman. Having said that it doesn't affect me whether other people are able to marry or co live legally in whatever way they like. So go for it.

Polygamy and polyamory (even though the two are vastly different) is about respect rather than options, at least when the couples I meet that live that mode talk about it. They're rarely ever rebellious "new school" people but rather traditional couples that went into their relationship give 100:100 of themselves and respecting each other as both individuals and partners.

Whereas the new school view over the last century and a half is to popularise this idea that love and working relationships is giving 50:50 all the way. The idea that you have to "give up" and lose some of your identity to make a relationship "happy" for both. That people who love you do EXACTLY for you as you would do for them, that you treat everyone how you woukd treat yourself. It's given rise to narcissism and some are thrilled to death about it.



+1.....Agreed! GM Tiz....always gtsy!
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FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
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Hey prince I argee. Haha. The only sister wive I actually like is Robyn the newest one. Haha...at best.. lol.

And Idk...it's choice and really I would want to be number 1 wife. And the last wife was 20 years younger and more attention was to her for her pregnancy and the first wive couldn't have any, and left the show I believe for the last wife. Wtf.. that's a stressful situation, I can't ignore..

I
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Lovelyisis
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Posted by LillyBlossom
Why is the word broken up into syllables? It makes it awkward to read.

Polygamy in the hands of a morally corrupt and irresponsible man is disastrous. However, it can definitely work with a man and women who are doing it for the right reasons.

There definitely should be very strict guidelines before a man is allowed to marry more than one woman. Guidelines so strict that almost no man can abide by them and are only left to marry and care for one woman.

I was reading up on Islam's Prophet Mohammed and he was amily exceptional man. I'm afraid that a man of that caliber is virtually nonexistent in today's societies.

I wouldn't compare polygamy to homosexuality, however.



Sorry Lilly...but when I tried to post the topic with the word altogether it changed my dam wording...(silly website!)...hence why I changed it and u see it broken up...
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Lovelyisis
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Posted by seraph
Posted by Lovelyisis
Posted by LillyBlossom
Why is the word broken up into syllables? It makes it awkward to read.

Polygamy in the hands of a morally corrupt and irresponsible man is disastrous. However, it can definitely work with a man and women who are doing it for the right reasons.

There definitely should be very strict guidelines before a man is allowed to marry more than one woman. Guidelines so strict that almost no man can abide by them and are only left to marry and care for one woman.

I was reading up on Islam's Prophet Mohammed and he was amily exceptional man. I'm afraid that a man of that caliber is virtually nonexistent in today's societies.

I wouldn't compare polygamy to homosexuality, however.



Sorry Lilly...but when I tried to post the topic with the word altogether it changed my dam wording...(silly website!)...hence why I changed it and u see it broken up...



I tried to sound it out phonetically as you wrote it, thinking that was your intention. It was an amusing 30-40 seconds.
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LMAO Seraph....sorry again about that confusion...LOL!
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Polygamy seems just like an open minded relationships, alot of people do this then right? . This is acceptable in today's world news. It happens often..

The man has control over everything because he's the breadwinner in that show, and in real life situations. He chooses the woman he likes and strikes a bond, then introduces the concept of adding more woman to the open relationship one by one.

HE'S accepting kids that aren't his, and taking in other wives kids and supporting them too.. Yeah some work and some don't.. they all have exceptional communication skills and hands down these types are open minded individuals that are not jealous or possessive.. lol
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Posted by xycake
Airing out that closet. Sure.

It's more damaging when people
have to hide or repress it and in the midst
of it, use others as batman's lair.



Isn't that the truth...LOL!!! Seen it happen wayyyyy too much over the years with those I know....and with a few I still know...smh! Just absolutely "refuse" to build that marriage on "raw truth & honesty" all while trying to raise a "happy home" w/ children, thinking not only the kids but also the partner is ignorant to unseen things that are going on in the home when the guilty party is constantly bringing a 3rd or 4th party energy in the home!!!
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Lovelyisis
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Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Polygamy seems just like an open minded relationships, alot of people do this then right? . This is acceptable in today's world news. It happens often..

The man has control over everything because he's the breadwinner in that show, and in real life situations. He chooses the woman he likes and strikes a bond, then introduces the concept of adding more woman to the open relationship one by one.

HE'S accepting kids that aren't his, and taking in other wives kids and supporting them too.. Yeah some work and some don't.. they all have exceptional communication skills and hands down these types are open minded individuals that are not jealous or possessive.. lol



Right FirstDecan!....at least they "SHOULD" have somewhat excellent communications skills to be able to openly consider and discuss this type of marriage arrangement. I would think that more people with alot of "mutableness" in their charts would be able to handle this particular type of marriage arrangement more easily and gracefully than those with alot of fixed or cardinal in their charts (not saying fixed or cardinal can't do it because I think whoever chooses to sign-up for something like this will find ways to make it work, even if it makes them somewhat vexatious. I could be wrong though....just my guess.
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FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
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Yeah well I am totally fixed in the elemental charting system.. Material possessions and stability.. is key words in an earth fixed sign forward looking..

It's definitely something I couldn't just do..
Even if I am looking for a monogamous relationship, they still have to be loyal...and I have always been the one woman man type when I date..feels ackward that I date multiple guys simultaneously just feels my time and energy can only be focused on one individual for now..

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Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Polygamy seems just like an open minded relationships, alot of people do this then right? . This is acceptable in today's world news. It happens often..

The man has control over everything because he's the breadwinner in that show, and in real life situations. He chooses the woman he likes and strikes a bond, then introduces the concept of adding more woman to the open relationship one by one.

HE'S accepting kids that aren't his, and taking in other wives kids and supporting them too.. Yeah some work and some don't.. they all have exceptional communication skills and hands down these types are open minded individuals that are not jealous or possessive.. lol



Actually, in that household and show, all of the women have jobs, too, and only one is the homemaker, or stay at home mom. She loves staying home, cooking, etc. and they love being career women. They also all have nights off where they go out with friends, or do their own thing. It seems to work for them. I'm not sure how they handle the now and then jealousy issues.
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I wear my weirdo badge with pride, thank you. 😄

Sure, why not? Isn't that how men end up with all their women lined up? They go "car" shopping? "Geez, this one needs an upgrade. Oh look! A new sports model!"

As for figuring out the roles of all those husbands collected, one could let them duke it out, or one could set a sensible schedule in place so everyone keeps the wifey happy and satisfied, and none of them are worn out. They'll even have time for fishing and other manly stuff! Plus......all that income from them all means there's plenty for all, and they don't go broke when she goes shoe shopping. Win win for everyone! 😄
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Oh Prince that show is on TLC the Duggars I believe have 19 kids. Lol right.. ? The kate plus 8 show lol.. aw poor lady has 8 kids to raise because the guy is a douche...

Yeah the guy on sister wives kinda a jerk but hey people like jerks and 5 wives with a total of 19 kids with possibility of @ least half their children will join polygamy.. the other would not and want to live with just one guy and have a few kiddos. that's it.
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Hm yeah I was more focused on the man of the household. And I do know the wives were working normal good jobs to support their own family members and even help the sistas with the other kids too..much props for them...

See that's too much...right there shit. But they have a loving, caring, treat you right but kinda arrogant and jerky type.

HE IS stable and consistent on meeting up with five different woman every day but a set schedule on when to have quality time. Protected sex not an issue..they all don't worry about anything..the all mess with the same guy..lol


look I have two jobs and have my own shit, no one to come home to at the moment except my cats. Lol but it's ok rather be safe and secured than unstable and drama..and I would love to meet someone who connects with me on some levels.. but looking for monogamous at all time. And compromise..
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Posted by Lovelyisis
Of course this article was written by a guy but alot of his points are still my sentiments exactly...(with the exception of being "traditional" in a sense)! Those who are up for a good debate regarding this topic, please feel free to do so! Others PLEASE —TRY?? to keep your hurt —he/she cheated on me 1000 yrs ago while we were married/in a relationship so now I'm scorned for life?? feelings out of it??_.please & thank you??_.LOL!



My response...to each his/her own.

Could care less what people do with their lives as long as it doesn't interfere with mine.
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Human society is moving in reverse. At the same time technology is still moving ahead. Think about it, everything in the world seems to be moving in reverse.

I imagine kings and queens will eventually start to rise once again, except unlike the past the world will look futuristic. Society will revert back to what it was hundreds of years ago. If you pay attention to today's world, you will see the reverse steps humans have been taking recently.
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Posted by BlackNova
Back on topic, polygamy is a nice fantasy, which ever way you slice it, I can't see it working as part of a normal social structure though.
Maybe my mind has been conditioned to reject this ideology? IDK, but it seems like a logistical nightmare and that's even without kids in the picture. lol



Nova??_.I suspect that people would prefer the outright truth over a bald-face lie any day every day??_.especially in terms of a relationship. What I mean by this is over 55% of marriages typically end in divorce and the top 2 reasons for the divorce are 1) infidelity & 2) finances. Of the following 2 evils, I believe that one would rather deal w/ a person who is honest & can admit to seeing/being in a relationship w/ more than 1 person opposed to one who straight out lies to all parties involved & have multiple relationships??_which the latter seems to run rampant today more often than not....& tend to cause the most emotional damage in the long-run. Leaving those who got the short end of the emotional stick w/ baggage for the next runner up to bat. This adverse impact is not conducive to other individuals nor society as a whole because other innocent parties are often left to help the victim deal w/ that baggage where sometimes the victim never gets past it & has serious trust issues w/ any type of relationship going forward??_.not to mention the impact it has on how it subtly alters their view on life (I wish I could give??em all a big hug??_LOL!). Cheating is just so common these days that it's unfortunately labeled as —normal?? when someone is caught in the act & has become a part of what I consider the —normal social structure?? to many who engage in it. Hell Nova, if this is truly considered the —normalcy?? benchmark for what is a —normal social structure?? when it comes to relationships overall??_..then f*** it??_.give me straight f***in crazy & unconventional any day of the week??_.LOL! And even though I would not be party to a polygamy marriage lifestyle??_.this type of marriage arrangement does eliminate this typical act of betrayal that has become the norm. Is polygamy the —perfect?? answer to this dilemma??_.no??_it definitely has its own challenges??_.but it's still none-the-less an —honest?? answer to it, where people truly tend to fair better in the long-run w/ —honesty?? opposed to a —lie??.