MEN AND WOMEN, DO YOU CONSIDER

It cheating if you sleep with another woman while in a relationship with a man?

- Men, if your woman slept with another woman, would you consider it cheating even if it was with another woman, and not with a man like yourself.

Would it bother/hurt you just as much as it would, if she had slept with a man?

What are you views on it? Would it be a deal breaker, would you leave the relationship?

Had a discussion about it with a couple friends tonight, she had a fling with a female while with her boyfriend, and he didn't consider it cheating bcuz she didn't have another man's penis inside her, so it's forgivable. She didn't think it was cheating either for the same reason. They said you can't view it as the same bcuz its like comparing two different animals. She'd never leave a man for a woman bcuz she only liked to experiment with women, she could never "be" with one.

Is that trust right there? Literally or not

I absolutely don't know why a guy is okay with this. Unless he's doing something else too, he doesn't have possessive or jealous traits, or he know it was just a learning experience in life..

Geentea really right now...?

I thought you hand more depth then to talk about such a silly issue.

PM

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Is that trust right there? Literally or not

He didn't know about it until recently, but when she told him, he didnt mind it bcuz it wasn't with another man. All he said was basically ..as long as another D wasn't in her he can deal with it.

Just wondering if it was or can be that simple with others on here.

It's a deal breaker for guys if her friend is not willing to share it.

I hope she and she is cleaned.

@Palerio - are you into sharing and threesome, swingers clubs?

Oh if I never found out my bff was gay and coming home to me. Oh hell no would die..

Posted by piscesmoon2
Geentea really right now...?

I thought you hand more depth then to talk about such a silly issue.

PM

Until tonight, i thought all, if not most people would consider it cheating whether with a man or a woman.

It's Friday night, I have no plans...so here we are. Lol

Sometimes people step outside because it's getting boring. And only time will tell if it was experimental.

Posted by littlemegabyte
To me personally, if I were in a relationship, I would consider it cheating. It would be a dealbreaker for me because I would always have these odd residual feelings about my man being fucked by a dude. That's not something that I could get over I don't think lol.

But I can also see how it could be considered just sexual experimentation/fun, and as long as both of the parties give consent, why not

Ya I would get grossed out by that, if anyone is going to peg him, it's going to be ME! Ha!

Would you consider it cheating if you slept with another woman though, that was my question.

Posted by Palerio
It's a deal breaker for guys if her friend is not willing to share it.

Lol! So you'd only be upset if she didn't offer for you to join in?

But she doesn't want to share you though.. to her you would be cheating bcuz you'd be with another woman.

She didn't see it as cheating bcuz it wasn't like she had another penis in her.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
I absolutely don't know why a guy is okay with this. Unless he's doing something else too, he doesn't have possessive or jealous traits, or he know it was just a learning experience in life..

Maybe it's not.competition to him since it was with another woman. Not a real threat there I suppose.

Posted by littlemegabyte

Posted by Greentea

Posted by littlemegabyte
To me personally, if I were in a relationship, I would consider it cheating. It would be a dealbreaker for me because I would always have these odd residual feelings about my man being fucked by a dude. That's not something that I could get over I don't think lol.

But I can also see how it could be considered just sexual experimentation/fun, and as long as both of the parties give consent, why not

Ya I would get grossed out by that, if anyone is going to peg him, it's going to be ME! Ha!

Would you consider it cheating if you slept with another woman though, that was my question.

Ohhh yea! Anything sexual with anyone who is not your boyfriend/girlfriend, I consider cheating. Plus, my guy has SCORPIO MOON... Just me talking to another male is cheating LOL 😆

click to expand

I thought the same thing, its cheating..so this surprised me, and wondered if anyone else views it like they do.

Cheating is cheating. Doesn't matter who its with. Even what most women consider to be harmless flirting I consider to be cheating. Regardless of nothing happening the intent is still there.

If by morals and faithfulness big No. I don't get along with cheaters.

Posted by Hemispheres
Cheating is cheating. Doesn't matter who its with. Even what most women consider to be harmless flirting I consider to be cheating. Regardless of nothing happening the intent is still there.

Flirting, even if harmless, can definitely open the door to something more, all of a sudden it's not so harmless anymore.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

If by morals and faithfulness big No. I don't get along with cheaters.

I wanted to ask him...what if she does it again and again...how would you feel about it then?..but I couldnt.

how does this work? do they use a prosthetic penis?

Haha you guys are funny. Lol

What is her sign @GreenTea?

@GreenTea- Oh maybe once he accepted, but twice I think he should re think that. Lmao it's no longer experimenting..

@GreenTea- Haha its like this is what cums to mind...

It's oh honey(confesses to bff) btw I fucked another woman, meh okay honey I Love You..

Posted by Greentea

Posted by Palerio
It's a deal breaker for guys if her friend is not willing to share it.

Lol! So you'd only be upset if she didn't offer for you to join in?

But she doesn't want to share you though.. to her you would be cheating bcuz you'd be with another woman.

She didn't see it as cheating bcuz it wasn't like she had another penis in her.

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Sarcasm aside, I'd be really upset in any case, but given the circumstances I would definitely be down for a 3some before dumping her, at least she won't be adding the insult to the injury.

Anyway, I don't think any men, in general, would deal well with the thought of a woman cheating on them with another woman.

I'm pretty sure, on our side, it's worse than cheating.

Even if you have a good person on your side solidly, there's still chance that people who be shocked about being cheated on or actually plan on cheating will do it. Then this is where bitterness comes in. You don't expect to be cheated on or be surprised good hearted people exists till it's gone.

Posted by blackphase
Ultimately, this is going to be different for everyone.. But to anyone in this situation, I think the only way to gauge if it would be considered cheating, would be to put the shoe on the other foot. Would the same girl who is sleeping with a woman be okay with her fella sleeping with a guy? How would that make her feel? It's someone of the same sex.. that's the argument here, if it's just another woman, it's okay (to some). But only if you can wear it the other way around too.

It's totally different taking the actual gender into account.

For men, it's mostly a matter of swallowing their pride.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Sometimes people step outside because it's getting boring. And only time will tell if it was experimental.

i dont know..i think it depends on the LIBIDO of the man/woman..

some men have HIGH libidos....

and some women too.

like they can't channel their libidos or something so they channel it in the direction of hedonism and depravity.

it happens.

people are human yes. but it is a CHOICE.

Posted by tiziani
@RumiLove @CaptainPimp


My view is that if we expect to get cheated on, then we are going to get cheated on. It's a foregone conclusion because that'd be the life we're seeking.

People don't often surprise us against our own expectations.

It's your choice of course.


Other than that, I think the idea that "everyone cheats" is a little overhyped to be honest. You never read about the good stuff on the internet because couples who are totally faithful to each other and meeting one another's expectations isn't very newsworthy or discussion worthy.

I'm faithful and I like the tame life.

i actually agree with you..

it's PARANOIA.

if there's paranoia in the relationship and worse BEFORE...the relationship..

i mean OP is not in a relationship right? not sure...

so why is it so hyperized with her/him?

are they afraid—

OP, do you FEAR having a committed relationship with someone in the future...

do you have these DEEP fears?? where is it coming from?

suspicious look:






and to be honest, if you can't make your man.woman happy....it is INEVITABLE...that's the deep issue here..

i mean let's be HONEST....

no amount of matrimony legal rights, or legal living together, (if you dont believe in marriage) or being boyfriend/girlfriend is gonna KEEP your man or woman...

because if you both are NOT happy....

it can happen...let's be honest...it can happen..

people are afraid maybe because they feel that they cant make their future man/woman happy.

if you feel that way, then....well, then you feel that way.

Posted by RumiLove

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RumiLove
Ahhh yes. I'd be very happy if my husband shared all his desires, went out to physically indulge with whoever he wants...but tell me about it, share with me. I'd be happy :p I think I want emotional...loyalty.. Idk lol.

Yes this is me, word for word right here. Someone told me this is called 'compersion'.

Edit: obviously switch "husband" for "wife" in my case.

PolyOz defines compersion as "the positive feelings one gets when a lover is enjoying another relationship. Sometimes called the opposite or flip side of jealousy." They comment that compersion can coexist with jealous feelings.


^^ compersion.

IDK if the positive feelings would arise because of the fact that he's physically indulging..

I'd be happy when he SHARES his feelings or experiences with me..comes back to me.

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honestly, if you dont have CONFIDENCE in your relationship....

this is eventually gonna happen.

yes there's gonna be times when a couple hits a very TOUGH time and may break up, or something drastic will part them,

or anything, disasters strike...

but when you are together, you should be CONFIDENT.

because you feel trust and love.

not FEAR you know?

fear is gonna drive you to the ground.

anyway i had my 2nd cup of coffee....so i'm kind of hyperized.

The concept of cheating is different for everybody. That's why you discuss it with your partner imo.

For me it's always been, and always will be.. Cheating is cheating.

i can feel Rumi's fear from all the way here....she is afraid. even these posts/topics of her future man (whoever that might be) she is afraid he is gonna go somewhere else.

if that happens, we cannot CONTROL it...so we turn to our own self, and think I'm a horrible person because i can't even keep my man/woman happy!!!
and we cry inside.

you see how that is?? it's HORRIBLE.

Posted by NostalgicCappy
For me it's always been, and always will be.. Cheating is cheating.

yes but the discussion is...

how can you keep your man HAPPY and STAY??

can you do that?

honestly let's face the truth.

can any of US GUARANTEE??

are there any guarantees??

there was a post i read yesterday from hydro... from MissFisk's topic,

it was good insight. where some men and women are just naturally attracted to someone, ect.

and it's not about how gorgeous or how hot someone is...or how good they are in bed.

it's deeper than that.

so you can't keep a man/woman if you dont have that "connection"...

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RumiLove

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RumiLove
Ahhh yes. I'd be very happy if my husband shared all his desires, went out to physically indulge with whoever he wants...but tell me about it, share with me. I'd be happy :p I think I want emotional...loyalty.. Idk lol.

Yes this is me, word for word right here. Someone told me this is called 'compersion'.

Edit: obviously switch "husband" for "wife" in my case.

PolyOz defines compersion as "the positive feelings one gets when a lover is enjoying another relationship. Sometimes called the opposite or flip side of jealousy." They comment that compersion can coexist with jealous feelings.


^^ compersion.

IDK if the positive feelings would arise because of the fact that he's physically indulging..

I'd be happy when he SHARES his feelings or experiences with me..comes back to me.

I don't know much about compersion. I was just told about it this week. I just enjoy seeing my partner's pleasure.

I don't know about you but I think I trained myself to be this way from a very early age just to be able to deal with any feelings of jealousy. It is kind of like the other side of the coin of jealousy.

It's also probably a sign of being hyper-possessive. When I commit to a woman I don't just want her body. Anybody can have sex. I want her soul and I want to be included in all her feelings. Both the pain and the pleasure.

It's not always healthy, it takes a lot of self awareness to not let it turn into masochism. Like if you always assume that your partner wants to be in or enjoy "another relationship" then, in my experience, they are going to eventually be in another relationship no matter what. Even if it's not what they originally wanted. Even if they only wanted you. It can turn into a masochistic self-fulfilling prophecy.

click to expand

Every time I had a Venus-Pluto aspect with my partner I felt this way.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Palerio

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RumiLove

Posted by tiziani

Posted by RumiLove
Ahhh yes. I'd be very happy if my husband shared all his desires, went out to physically indulge with whoever he wants...but tell me about it, share with me. I'd be happy :p I think I want emotional...loyalty.. Idk lol.

Yes this is me, word for word right here. Someone told me this is called 'compersion'.

Edit: obviously switch "husband" for "wife" in my case.

PolyOz defines compersion as "the positive feelings one gets when a lover is enjoying another relationship. Sometimes called the opposite or flip side of jealousy." They comment that compersion can coexist with jealous feelings.


^^ compersion.

IDK if the positive feelings would arise because of the fact that he's physically indulging..

I'd be happy when he SHARES his feelings or experiences with me..comes back to me.

I don't know much about compersion. I was just told about it this week. I just enjoy seeing my partner's pleasure.

I don't know about you but I think I trained myself to be this way from a very early age just to be able to deal with any feelings of jealousy. It is kind of like the other side of the coin of jealousy.

It's also probably a sign of being hyper-possessive. When I commit to a woman I don't just want her body. Anybody can have sex. I want her soul and I want to be included in all her feelings. Both the pain and the pleasure.

It's not always healthy, it takes a lot of self awareness to not let it turn into masochism. Like if you always assume that your partner wants to be in or enjoy "another relationship" then, in my experience, they are going to eventually be in another relationship no matter what. Even if it's not what they originally wanted. Even if they only wanted you. It can turn into a masochistic self-fulfilling prophecy.

Every time I had a Venus-Pluto aspect with my partner I felt this way.

you're Venus in Scorp or Sag?

click to expand

Pluto in Scorp.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Palerio
Pluto in Scorp.

Ah ok. Yes, funnily enough first time I began to notice this side of myself was when my partner was Mars in Scorp, Mars-Pluto conjunction.

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She was Venus in Scorp in my case.

Also Moon-Mars conjunction in Sag, most times, can feel just the same, if that aspect is not mitigated by others.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
What is her sign @GreenTea?

She's Aries, he's a scorpio

Posted by lisabethur8
OP, do you FEAR having a committed relationship with someone in the future...

do you have these DEEP fears?? where is it coming from?

I am in a relationship with a scorpio. No fears, I just.considered it cheating and was surprised that they didn't, bcuz her boyfriend said at least she didn't have another penis in her, so he didn't feel threatened.

Posted by RumiLove

Posted by lisabethur8
i can feel Rumi's fear from all the way here....she is afraid. even these posts/topics of her future man (whoever that might be) she is afraid he is gonna go somewhere else.

if that happens, we cannot CONTROL it...so we turn to our own self, and think I'm a horrible person because i can't even keep my man/woman happy!!!
and we cry inside.

you see how that is?? it's HORRIBLE.

Awww thanks but ...nooo lol.

I wouldn't cry inside.. Its just human nature to find others more attractive.. Or eventually find/discover better physical or emotional chemistry with another person.

What's there to make a big fuss. I think human relationships are MUCH more than just cheating.. Firstly, we should always wish well for another person if he decides to indulge somewhere else... No point in making a fuss..or crying..

A man or woman may not physically cheat, but about mind 😛 .. I just want one where he tells me what goes on in his mind... Its not necessary again. But I'd be happy if he does.. I would share too. Its just that...a relationship between man-woman is more than just physical part. And as for emotions, as a possessive person I would feel bad but...no need to make an issue.. Just be a good friend..

I'm sorry if I'm not making sense lol..

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read my last post. if there's no connection. then blah. i dont impose on my man's mind. He can think whatever he wnats. I'm not like you where I need to KNOW his mind all the time.

Posted by Greentea

Posted by lisabethur8
OP, do you FEAR having a committed relationship with someone in the future...

do you have these DEEP fears?? where is it coming from?

I am in a relationship with a scorpio. No fears, I just.considered it cheating and was surprised that they didn't, bcuz her boyfriend said at least she didn't have another penis in her, so he didn't feel threatened.

click to expand

what are you talking about? i must have missed it. I only read your first post.

need to read the rest of the thread.

Posted by RumiLove

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by RumiLove

Posted by lisabethur8
i can feel Rumi's fear from all the way here....she is afraid. even these posts/topics of her future man (whoever that might be) she is afraid he is gonna go somewhere else.

if that happens, we cannot CONTROL it...so we turn to our own self, and think I'm a horrible person because i can't even keep my man/woman happy!!!
and we cry inside.

you see how that is?? it's HORRIBLE.

Awww thanks but ...nooo lol.

I wouldn't cry inside.. Its just human nature to find others more attractive.. Or eventually find/discover better physical or emotional chemistry with another person.

What's there to make a big fuss. I think human relationships are MUCH more than just cheating.. Firstly, we should always wish well for another person if he decides to indulge somewhere else... No point in making a fuss..or crying..

A man or woman may not physically cheat, but about mind 😛 .. I just want one where he tells me what goes on in his mind... Its not necessary again. But I'd be happy if he does.. I would share too. Its just that...a relationship between man-woman is more than just physical part. And as for emotions, as a possessive person I would feel bad but...no need to make an issue.. Just be a good friend..

I'm sorry if I'm not making sense lol..

read my last post. if there's no connection. then blah. i dont impose on my man's mind. He can think whatever he wnats. I'm not like you where I need to KNOW his mind all the time.

Maybe I put it wrongly. I dont NEED. "its not necessary". It would just be beautiful if he did.

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for me, i know my man...

i'd rather NOT know...

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Greentea

Posted by lisabethur8
OP, do you FEAR having a committed relationship with someone in the future...

do you have these DEEP fears?? where is it coming from?

I am in a relationship with a scorpio. No fears, I just.considered it cheating and was surprised that they didn't, bcuz her boyfriend said at least she didn't have another penis in her, so he didn't feel threatened.

what are you talking about? i must have missed it. I only read your first post.

need to read the rest of the thread.

click to expand

Ah, all good.

You said "OP" so I thought the question was directed at me. It's not my scenario, it's a friend of mine. I wasn't fearing anything about myself or my own relationship. I've always viewed it as cheating and was surprised they didn't bcuz it didn't involve the opposite sex. So I wanted to see who else viewed it as they did.

Posted by Ixion120

Posted by Greentea
It cheating if you sleep with another woman while in a relationship with a man?

- Men, if your woman slept with another woman, would you consider it cheating even if it was with another woman, and not with a man like yourself.

Would it bother/hurt you just as much as it would, if she had slept with a man?

What are you views on it? Would it be a deal breaker, would you leave the relationship?

Had a discussion about it with a couple friends tonight, she had a fling with a female while with her boyfriend, and he didn't consider it cheating bcuz she didn't have another man's penis inside her, so it's forgivable. She didn't think it was cheating either for the same reason. They said you can't view it as the same bcuz its like comparing two different animals. She'd never leave a man for a woman bcuz she only liked to experiment with women, she could never "be" with one.

Any tryst outside the relationship without coming to an agreement beforehand is cheating to me. Exclusive is exclusive...unless we agree to other terms. My Aries ex got a hickey from a chick once.

She didn't think it was an issue...but I saw it as a breach of "contract". At the beginning of our relationship it was explicitly stated by me...that no exchanges were to occur without sanctioning.

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I agree, cheating amd what I consider cheating is always laid out in the very beginning stages, that way nobody is confused on why I kick them out and ice them, if it happens. Lol.

Posted by tiziani
@RumiLove @CaptainPimp


My view is that if we expect to get cheated on, then we are going to get cheated on. It's a foregone conclusion because that'd be the life we're seeking.

People don't often surprise us against our own expectations.

It's your choice of course.


Other than that, I think the idea that "everyone cheats" is a little overhyped to be honest. You never read about the good stuff on the internet because couples who are totally faithful to each other and meeting one another's expectations isn't very newsworthy or discussion worthy.

I'm faithful and I like the tame life.

completely agree. be careful what you wish for. humans need disciplines and boundaries to be better people.

use myself as an example. i know i have the potential to be a love addict. when a man tells me that he may not be enough for me that it's okay to develop my dark side then hey the inception of the idel may just grow into a tree and i'd lose respect for him as my man.

i love it when he pays attention when i spend too much time looking at my phone. i love it when he says hey don't connect with weirdos on dxp okay lol. i respect him and the boundaries he has. vice versa.