Pain

What's your deepest pain?

Mine: I am so sick and tired of sacrificing my life and happiness for everyone.

Those words sound so self centered and selfish, but my love for anyone I let into my circle... I sacrifice for, and I am tired of it. I love my kids, my man...I have lost everyone, including myself.

I want to be who I was. I want her back: That girl who loved you and that girl who had energy and spontaneity. I want to hold on, but it seems so gone.

I told you my heart felt dead. It was numb. It grew numb to the idea of losing you, and the idea that you were feeling someone else.

It's her. I know it. Deny all you want, but I feel it. Just as though you know that I can't deny his energy. He brings me to life again. It's invigorating.

But we are bound. We are bound by more lives than our own. So why is this so hard? Why is it so difficult to admit our pains to each other if we love each other so much?

Posted by Skybluerose
What's your deepest pain?

Mine: I am so sick and tired of sacrificing my life and happiness for everyone.

Those words sound so self centered and selfish, but my love for anyone I let into my circle... I sacrifice for, and I am tired of it. I love my kids, my man...I have lost everyone, including myself.

I want to be who I was. I want her back: That girl who loved you and that girl who had energy and spontaneity. I want to hold on, but it seems so gone.

I told you my heart felt dead. It was numb. It grew numb to the idea of losing you, and the idea that you were feeling someone else.

It's her. I know it. Deny all you want, but I feel it. Just as though you know that I can't deny his energy. He brings me to life again. It's invigorating.

But we are bound. We are bound by more lives than our own. So why is this so hard? Why is it so difficult to admit our pains to each other if we love each other so much?

That's beautiful and heartfelt. Is this directed at one special person in your life? If so I'd share it with them. It may help them understand.

The fact that you see that thought as "selfish" explains why you're in this bind to begin with.

My married man and I are dying to be in a relationship now but we can't it kills us both that we'd be judged until he gets his divorce. given our feelings and connection and not sleeping together has been so hard it takes a hell of a resolve, it pains he isn't holding me every night yet! but the upside maybe it'll all be worth the wait when it finally happens!

Posted by Skybluerose
What's your deepest pain?

Mine: I am so sick and tired of sacrificing my life and happiness for everyone.

Those words sound so self centered and selfish, but my love for anyone I let into my circle... I sacrifice for, and I am tired of it. I love my kids, my man...I have lost everyone, including myself.

I want to be who I was. I want her back: That girl who loved you and that girl who had energy and spontaneity. I want to hold on, but it seems so gone.

I told you my heart felt dead. It was numb. It grew numb to the idea of losing you, and the idea that you were feeling someone else.

It's her. I know it. Deny all you want, but I feel it. Just as though you know that I can't deny his energy. He brings me to life again. It's invigorating.

But we are bound. We are bound by more lives than our own. So why is this so hard? Why is it so difficult to admit our pains to each other if we love each other so much?

The only person/people we need to make sacrifices for are our children

Nobody else

So I take it you are with someone, but you are both falling for other people? 😢

Posted by Skybluerose
What's your deepest pain?

Mine: I am so sick and tired of sacrificing my life and happiness for everyone.

Those words sound so self centered and selfish, but my love for anyone I let into my circle... I sacrifice for, and I am tired of it. I love my kids, my man...I have lost everyone, including myself.

I want to be who I was. I want her back: That girl who loved you and that girl who had energy and spontaneity. I want to hold on, but it seems so gone.

I told you my heart felt dead. It was numb. It grew numb to the idea of losing you, and the idea that you were feeling someone else.

It's her. I know it. Deny all you want, but I feel it. Just as though you know that I can't deny his energy. He brings me to life again. It's invigorating.

But we are bound. We are bound by more lives than our own. So why is this so hard? Why is it so difficult to admit our pains to each other if we love each other so much?

Hi Skybluerose. .

I totally get where you are coming from. I am the same. I won't go into the full story as I have done on another post. But I too am sick of sacrificing my happiness and life for others (mainly my husband and an ex in the past) - and like you, I don't mean it in a self-centred way. I am married to a very selfish man who has made me feel lonely but I'm still with him. Although there are good things about him, I don't feel the same way anymore and have sacrificed my life for a man who would never do the same for me.

I hear your pain x

What's your deepest pain?

@ Op

My best friend's death . It was unexpected. And her dad told me that she tried reaching me on phone during her final days. I was just not reachable for a week as i was travelling. She wanted to talk to me and i was fucking not reachable. Its been many years and i cannot get over it. I wish i could have atleast spoken to her once .

Posted by Skybluerose

Those words sound so self centered and selfish, but my love for anyone I let into my circle... I sacrifice for, and I am tired of it. I love my kids, my man...I have lost everyone, including myself.

I want to be who I was. I want her back: That girl who loved you and that girl who had energy and spontaneity. I want to hold on, but it seems so gone.

I told you my heart felt dead. It was numb. It grew numb to the idea of losing you, and the idea that you were feeling someone else.

It's her. I know it. Deny all you want, but I feel it. Just as though you know that I can't deny his energy. He brings me to life again. It's invigorating.

But we are bound. We are bound by more lives than our own. So why is this so hard? Why is it so difficult to admit our pains to each other if we love each other so much?

Desperation of making a person understand and act in a particular way is painful . You cannot do anything about how others behave and think and feel no matter how close that other is . All you can work on is yourself .

Posted by Skybluerose
What's your deepest pain?

Mine: I am so sick and tired of sacrificing my life and happiness for everyone.

Those words sound so self centered and selfish, but my love for anyone I let into my circle... I sacrifice for, and I am tired of it. I love my kids, my man...I have lost everyone, including myself.

I want to be who I was. I want her back: That girl who loved you and that girl who had energy and spontaneity. I want to hold on, but it seems so gone.

I told you my heart felt dead. It was numb. It grew numb to the idea of losing you, and the idea that you were feeling someone else.

It's her. I know it. Deny all you want, but I feel it. Just as though you know that I can't deny his energy. He brings me to life again. It's invigorating.

But we are bound. We are bound by more lives than our own. So why is this so hard? Why is it so difficult to admit our pains to each other if we love each other so much?

You sound Piscean. I have learned to love myself so I can open my heart for others. I've had my heart stomped on and realize it wasn't meant to be. I, too, come here to talk to y'all and it helps NOT to judge. If I am, that's when I BLOCK that "troll". As Pisceans we HAVE to learn to say, "No". It's called tough love, too. You need to talk to your SO and ask for "help". Just because we are women, doesn't mean we were born with an apron around our waist. Don't think you can do it all because you "multi task". I tend to find this place as my "sanctuary". Where I can relax, vent, give advice, and take advice. So far, I haven't done the latter because I have my faith to pull me thru.

All I can do is send you cyber hugs! 🤗

Love,

Eva

Posted by cap..
What's your deepest pain?

@ Op

My best friend's death . It was unexpected. And her dad told me that she tried reaching me on phone during her final days. I was just not reachable for a week as i was travelling. She wanted to talk to me and i was fucking not reachable. Its been many years and i cannot get over it. I wish i could have atleast spoken to her once .

you can talk to her anytime you want - and tell her how you feel and know that she understands completely and let it go

Posted by tcta

Posted by cap..
What's your deepest pain?

@ Op

My best friend's death . It was unexpected. And her dad told me that she tried reaching me on phone during her final days. I was just not reachable for a week as i was travelling. She wanted to talk to me and i was fucking not reachable. Its been many years and i cannot get over it. I wish i could have atleast spoken to her once .

you can talk to her anytime you want - and tell her how you feel and know that she understands completely and let it go

click to expand

She is dead 😢 . How can i talk to her ?

My pain is my inability to forgive. And this festers inside me. I believe this is my life's lesson. And I know that once I am able to let go of these issues and truly forgive my life will be better for it. But I struggle with the idea of how people can do things to others. How people cannot take responsibility for their actions and choices. How I cannot take responsibility for my lack of action in letting transgressions of others not make me the better person.

Posted by cap..

Posted by tcta

Posted by cap..
What's your deepest pain?

@ Op

My best friend's death . It was unexpected. And her dad told me that she tried reaching me on phone during her final days. I was just not reachable for a week as i was travelling. She wanted to talk to me and i was fucking not reachable. Its been many years and i cannot get over it. I wish i could have atleast spoken to her once .

you can talk to her anytime you want - and tell her how you feel and know that she understands completely and let it go

She is dead 😢 . How can i talk to her ?

click to expand

I'm sorry, perhaps I should explain where I was coming from because everyone is so different and yes maybe I should not have been so out with that ... see for me, I talk out-loud to people who have passed from this world as we know it - I believe they hear me because it comes from my heart ... I believe we are still connected even after death; it's just not in the way that we understand completely but if one can open themselves up to this - maybe and sometimes there comes some sort of relief, some peace in knowing, a small sign, a big deep fresh breath and grace in forgiving and holding on to the thought that one day we will see our loved ones again ...