Transition

Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

Posted by tiziani
This was a tough read Rumi I won't lie to you lol

Haha sorry :p I wish I could articulate well!

I mean to say that, my opinions or outlook on stuff in general are split - ones which I have had, and other ones that were built upon the old ones(say from past 2 years) - not exactly built on them, but on a better level than older ones(well.. I am unsure they are better but still they feel better?) ...but despite having a realisation of a better outlook, I see myself holding on to the older ones... and I don't understand why - despite the realisation, I am not completely abandoning the old ones - so therefore, I am a mess - my mind is a mess. I feel split, and incomplete because my ideas aren't concrete - they keep switching between the realised ones and the older ones..



TBH, I don't mind it.. but I feel that I need to have a clear mind owing to my career and also, because I'm at crucial stage in life - this is the age that will affect my entire life.. I hope I was able to express something.. 😢

Posted by idgaf2

Posted by RumiL
Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

i don't know how effective general ideas are in terms of results... for me they don't really work at all, but it may be because i'm kind of simple.

there are plenty of things i would like to work on, but prioritization is probably the only way i will get anything done

click to expand

hmm... my career is all about having a balanced outlook : ( it matters a lot.

Posted by Capri-sun
I think it is normal tbh. Or maybe not, idk. I do know that I go through the same thing, and still am (specifically with my career).

I am in a good place and have been for years (it was only suppose to be a stepping stone though not a permanent career) so I go back and forth between staying because I'm established and looking for a career that I am more passionate about (and might have to take personal cuts and start back over from square 1).

Try to narrow down what you truly want. Even if the old & new are very similar with the exception of 1 variance. Try to prioritize and choose the 1 you want more, and be okay with settling for the 2nd. (For example I really want an A, and I am willing to settle and accept a B).

Also give yourself time, and be open to making a mistake. Say you take a leap & find out you don't like it so much. At least you took the leap, and you can go back if you find out "well this isn't really for me or what I imagined it to be".

Trust your instincts 🙂

Heyya Capri, how was your birthday? 🙂

Thankyou for your response, Capri.. Hmm, I guess all we can do is keep moving ahead, and keep improvising as we face consequences..

But still, the problem with my problem is... there will be no second chance, infact, there'll be no "undesirable" consequences either - it's matter of putting forth the best - and.. matter of putting forth the idea I have realised in a way that is not confusing or vague.. it happens both because - I keep switching or swinging back and forth between older 'obsolete' ones and the new realised ones and also because I feel confused .. idk how to explain!! : (

Posted by blackphase

Posted by RumiL
Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

I completely understand what you are going through, I have been feeling this same way for quite some time and it only weighs heavier the longer you sit with it. I still don't have a solution, so I'll pay close attention to this thread. Best of luck to you sweet little Rumi, I know this isn't an easy rut to be in. xo

click to expand

omg thankyou Blackphase 🙂 xoxo

I hope we find the solution or can atleast come to terms with the 'issue'... and.. hope this isn't just a Scorpio moon quality of overthinking 😐 haha.

It sort of sounds like you're trying to articulate 'Adulting' and I gotta say I feel ya 😆

Either way, there's nothing unusual about that whole Twilight zone thang that happens when you start formulating new ideas and then discarding/ reconciling old patterns together...

All I can say is- I think you're doing a wonderful job Lifing, you're a credit to yourself and your loved ones 🙂

Keep exploring, keep questioning, the Abyss awaits and it's wonderful! 🤗

Posted by wagtail
It sort of sounds like you're trying to articulate 'Adulting' and I gotta say I feel ya 😆

Either way, there's nothing unusual about that whole Twilight zone thang that happens when you start formulating new ideas and then discarding/ reconciling old patterns together...

All I can say is- I think you're doing a wonderful job Lifing, you're a credit to yourself and your loved ones 🙂

Keep exploring, keep questioning, the Abyss awaits and it's wonderful! 🤗

birdie 🤗

..thankyouuuu so much for the encouraging words! < 3

I have to say, I am enjoying, but the problem is - it feels like I may not give my best on career front.. and feel worried about decisions I may take in life - on practical terms.. 🙂

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by RumiL
Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

You are not sure if you are in the stage of life you should be development wise personally etc for your age?

I think basically you are discarding the young you and moving into the new personality? That for me meant taking what was still me with me ...does that make sense? I didn't think about it it just happened.

I spent my whole teen years studying music. Then in college ..i studied philosophy .. i chose it over the period of a month thinking .. i even auditioned for a music degree ..but it felt wrong. I realized ..all the classical musicians ..all of their families were musicians ..they married musicians and they only had friends that were musicians..it seemed a closed world. I knew that wasn't me. I wanted lots of different experiences. I was reading a book on philosophy at the time..I thought i will try something different ..i was meeting lots of people who did a diff degree then studied music etc.

So i started thinking differently ..college opens your mind. And yeah i changed. And met new people. Then i did a drama course. It felt very samey...then working ..searching. So I have changed ...but kept a lot of the old.

I don't worry about where i should be. I have never felt split. I merge things ...i let them merge..i am no one thing..i am many things...i am a leviathan ..



Life lessons are different. It's a combo of meeting new people all the time ..and retaining long friendships. Over time you see people change some come out to you as gay ..some take their own lives because of social stigma or mental illness or they are unstable ..some start drugging drinking ..some have children ..some make good parents some make terrible parents ..some get married then divorced ...some cheat on spouses ...some have very happy divine mad blessed love ..some lose parents ...some get cancer and die...some do nothing and smoke weed ...some study ..some work ...some are girls some a are boys ..some are still hiding what they are from me..some are rich some are poor...some i almost hate sometimes..some have hurt me ...some i trust completely ..some are nuns some are priests ..some are people i hope i never have to see again or am afraid to ..some make me laugh..

I am always learning from these people...i see what happens when someone struggles down a certain path and it helps me to understand....it adds to my perception...

My roots are diverse...my space is diverse...

Yet at the same time ..i am very boring. Every day is the same ...for long periods of time..that is life...

I know ...i have a lot to learn..

I have learnt it's important to protect yourself and to be kind. And nothing is worth getting hurt for.

click to expand

omg thankyou for sharing your views and your experience.. 🙂

I feel totally same as you! I am okay with merging them too, on a personal/spiritual level.. and yes, that too, I am not sure if I am developing as per my age

But, I am only bothered if I am able to bring in the realised/new ideas into my outlook in general terms - change and solidify my outlook on stuff atleast as much is needed for my personal development(life style , attitude etc) and practical life - especially my career.

There will always be the fuzzy side with blurry vision deep inside, wherein our vision of life, although clear may be concoction of everything we had within us and also, of the vague and incomprehensible ..I'm okay with it.

The problem is, in my career our opinions or rather the outlook on issues we directly deal in career has it's roots extending to the spiritual side of life as well - so if I am a ball of confusion on spiritual or personal end(to an extent, like I said, after that extent, there will be that vague side to this after a limit), it will reflect in my career.

I'm sorry I am not able to explain...haha.. but thankyou. I will keep your words in mind to merge.. because I'm not sure if I have tried that properly, or even if I did, if I even merged my old + new in a way that is useful for myself... It feels like I am stuck in a process.

Posted by idgaf2

Posted by RumiL

Posted by idgaf2

Posted by RumiL
Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

i don't know how effective general ideas are in terms of results... for me they don't really work at all, but it may be because i'm kind of simple.

there are plenty of things i would like to work on, but prioritization is probably the only way i will get anything done

hmm... my career is all about having a balanced outlook : ( it matters a lot.

it kind of sounds like you are finding that balance now, between where you are coming from and where you are heading.

i think it's pretty common... the paths we take are pretty much what define us.

not sure if this helps, but not too long ago i was faced with an issue i haven't really had to deal with much in the past.

i handled it a little out of character, and just thought to myself "why the fuck did i do that...??"

i think because of that awkward feeling, i'm better equipped to handle it in a way that i can be happier about.

i can't guarantee it won't happen again, but at least i have a reference i can learn from.

click to expand

Yeah.. kinda 🙂

Hmm. so, adulting also pushes us out of our comfort zones? :-)

I guess I am worrying too much about giving my best that I am forgetting that everything in the end will be learning experience, even if we err...

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by RumiL

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by RumiL
Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

You are not sure if you are in the stage of life you should be development wise personally etc for your age?

I think basically you are discarding the young you and moving into the new personality? That for me meant taking what was still me with me ...does that make sense? I didn't think about it it just happened.

I spent my whole teen years studying music. Then in college ..i studied philosophy .. i chose it over the period of a month thinking .. i even auditioned for a music degree ..but it felt wrong. I realized ..all the classical musicians ..all of their families were musicians ..they married musicians and they only had friends that were musicians..it seemed a closed world. I knew that wasn't me. I wanted lots of different experiences. I was reading a book on philosophy at the time..I thought i will try something different ..i was meeting lots of people who did a diff degree then studied music etc.

So i started thinking differently ..college opens your mind. And yeah i changed. And met new people. Then i did a drama course. It felt very samey...then working ..searching. So I have changed ...but kept a lot of the old.

I don't worry about where i should be. I have never felt split. I merge things ...i let them merge..i am no one thing..i am many things...i am a leviathan ..



Life lessons are different. It's a combo of meeting new people all the time ..and retaining long friendships. Over time you see people change some come out to you as gay ..some take their own lives because of social stigma or mental illness or they are unstable ..some start drugging drinking ..some have children ..some make good parents some make terrible parents ..some get married then divorced ...some cheat on spouses ...some have very happy divine mad blessed love ..some lose parents ...some get cancer and die...some do nothing and smoke weed ...some study ..some work ...some are girls some a are boys ..some are still hiding what they are from me..some are rich some are poor...some i almost hate sometimes..some have hurt me ...some i trust completely ..some are nuns some are priests ..some are people i hope i never have to see again or am afraid to ..some make me laugh..

I am always learning from these people...i see what happens when someone struggles down a certain path and it helps me to understand....it adds to my perception...

My roots are diverse...my space is diverse...

Yet at the same time ..i am very boring. Every day is the same ...for long periods of time..that is life...

I know ...i have a lot to learn..

I have learnt it's important to protect yourself and to be kind. And nothing is worth getting hurt for.

omg thankyou for sharing your views and your experience.. 🙂

I feel totally same as you! I am okay with merging them too, on a personal/spiritual level.. and yes, that too, I am not sure if I am developing as per my age

But, I am only bothered if I am able to bring in the realised/new ideas into my outlook in general terms - change and solidify my outlook on stuff atleast as much is needed for my personal development(life style , attitude etc) and practical life - especially my career.

There will always be the fuzzy side with blurry vision deep inside, wherein our vision of life, although clear may be concoction of everything we had within us and also, of the vague and incomprehensible ..I'm okay with it.

The problem is, in my career our opinions or rather the outlook on issues we directly deal in career has it's roots extending to the spiritual side of life as well - so if I am a ball of confusion on spiritual or personal end(to an extent, like I said, after that extent, there will be that vague side to this after a limit), it will reflect in my career.

I'm sorry I am not able to explain...haha.. but thankyou. I will keep your words in mind to merge.. because I'm not sure if I have tried that properly, or even if I did, if I even merged my old + new in a way that is useful for myself... It feels like I am stuck in a process.

I feel like every five years ..i re-incarnate....and become a new person...lately i kept old stuff...i had to i needed the skill set. Your spirit skills feed your career skills you mean don't you?

click to expand

hmm..

Yes..

Posted by idgaf2

Posted by RumiL

Posted by idgaf2

Posted by RumiL

Posted by idgaf2

Posted by RumiL
Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

i don't know how effective general ideas are in terms of results... for me they don't really work at all, but it may be because i'm kind of simple.

there are plenty of things i would like to work on, but prioritization is probably the only way i will get anything done

hmm... my career is all about having a balanced outlook : ( it matters a lot.

it kind of sounds like you are finding that balance now, between where you are coming from and where you are heading.

i think it's pretty common... the paths we take are pretty much what define us.

not sure if this helps, but not too long ago i was faced with an issue i haven't really had to deal with much in the past.

i handled it a little out of character, and just thought to myself "why the fuck did i do that...??"

i think because of that awkward feeling, i'm better equipped to handle it in a way that i can be happier about.

i can't guarantee it won't happen again, but at least i have a reference i can learn from.

Yeah.. kinda 🙂

Hmm. so, adulting also pushes us out of our comfort zones? :-)

I guess I am worrying too much about giving my best that I am forgetting that everything in the end will be learning experience, even if we err...

i think so... i don't think anyone likes to admit to making a mistake.... and i'd be lying if i said i never fucked anything up before.

it doesn't necessarily make me an adult, but i think what we do with the mistakes can be defining.

click to expand

🙂

you need to post more, idgaf!

I read the title and read this as you wanting to become a man.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I read the title and read this as you wanting to become a man.

😆

Watch this from your fellow Aries. It'll help.

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by RumiL

Posted by Capri-sun
I think it is normal tbh. Or maybe not, idk. I do know that I go through the same thing, and still am (specifically with my career).

I am in a good place and have been for years (it was only suppose to be a stepping stone though not a permanent career) so I go back and forth between staying because I'm established and looking for a career that I am more passionate about (and might have to take personal cuts and start back over from square 1).

Try to narrow down what you truly want. Even if the old & new are very similar with the exception of 1 variance. Try to prioritize and choose the 1 you want more, and be okay with settling for the 2nd. (For example I really want an A, and I am willing to settle and accept a B).

Also give yourself time, and be open to making a mistake. Say you take a leap & find out you don't like it so much. At least you took the leap, and you can go back if you find out "well this isn't really for me or what I imagined it to be".

Trust your instincts 🙂

Heyya Capri, how was your birthday? 🙂

Thankyou for your response, Capri.. Hmm, I guess all we can do is keep moving ahead, and keep improvising as we face consequences..

But still, the problem with my problem is... there will be no second chance, infact, there'll be no "undesirable" consequences either - it's matter of putting forth the best - and.. matter of putting forth the idea I have realised in a way that is not confusing or vague.. it happens both because - I keep switching or swinging back and forth between older 'obsolete' ones and the new realised ones and also because I feel confused .. idk how to explain!! : (

My birthday was great! Thanks 🙂

It's okay, like you said as long as we keep moving forward. I have faith in you that you will reach your dreams and choose the best one for you 🙂

click to expand

Thankyou capri 🙂

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by RumiL

Posted by idgaf2

Posted by RumiL
Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

i don't know how effective general ideas are in terms of results... for me they don't really work at all, but it may be because i'm kind of simple.

there are plenty of things i would like to work on, but prioritization is probably the only way i will get anything done

hmm... my career is all about having a balanced outlook : ( it matters a lot.

Can you remove yourself and/or ideas entirely or at least step back and look at it from all angles to keep the balanced outlook? Do you not have any libra or 7th house to help with this?

click to expand

No, Capri.. but i have neptune and uranus in 7th.. 😕 Is neptune confusing me lol.

I have to add too, transit neptune is conjunct my natal mercury.. 😢

Posted by starwars
aww Rumi!

It's totally normal don't be too hard on yourself 🤗

99% of the time I don't know wtf I'm doing, but then I look around and realize that no one know what they're doing, people just take risks and pretend to get it all figured out lol its life - I feel at ease knowing that other people are as lost as I am

and change will take time so be patient and enjoy the thoughts processing process, it can be fun to be stuck in a rut for some time lol 🙂

staaaar 🤗 thankyou 🙂

Bahaha, spoken like a true cap moon - my friend said the same believe me or not :p

I'm enjoying, but... I think my moon's paranoia is overpowering i guess.. IDK 😄

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by RumiL

Posted by idgaf2

Posted by RumiL
Hello guys, firstly, happy new year! :-)

IDK where or how to start my 'issue' so I'll jump right in. I'm going through this phase(I'm positive it will be a phase?) where I have some ideas in my mind - ones formed over the years and other ideas that were relatively recently formed.

(Ideas are nothing special, just outlook on general things in life, and also, in my career - but they are more of "general" nature.)

I am noticing that although my mind has been able to *realise* , it is still not being able to discard the older ideas and completely take a leap.. I keep switching between older and newer ones - I feel split TBH. It's not that the newer ones have major deviation from the older ones, it's just that, I wish to completely take new ones or atleast form something concrete of the ball of confusion inside.. it's like I feel 'incomplete' because I am not moving forward.. but why am I not moving forward is the big question to which I am finding no answer... maybe there is more to 'realise' to completely give shape to the newer outlook and for me to go ahead... idk.. but they're mere ideas, just like old ones..

I'd have had no problem being where I was, with older ideas, atleast my mind would've been resolute - but I'm in between - the realisation and also, the ones I have been holding.. my outlook on various issues have me myself utterly confused.

I feel stuck between the two : ( It's been like 1 year and I am in a rut, I'm getting anxious too because I'm getting older, and am at a crucial stage in life and somehow - it feels like it'll be a big deal how I shape my ideas/thoughts/outlook esp. because of my age and the time now and the time to come.

I want to know if this is how it's like.. I'm sorry for not being clear in my post, but tell me about your experience growing old and how the changes within you took place - were there phases where you felt stuck and not making progress, where you were going through a change in slow motion, neither here nor there yet, but stuck in a process of the change? Should I just take it easy, wait and keep trying or am I not trying hard enough? I tried writing a diary too... but ended up more confused.. I would've taken it easy, I know I'll get there, and confusion is good too --- but the time, the TIME will just fly in the blink of an eye, and I have to deal with real world(so confusion is just no good on practical terms), I am at a crucial stage in life.. it will be a big deal..



Is this my South Node in Taurus— :/

i don't know how effective general ideas are in terms of results... for me they don't really work at all, but it may be because i'm kind of simple.

there are plenty of things i would like to work on, but prioritization is probably the only way i will get anything done

hmm... my career is all about having a balanced outlook : ( it matters a lot.

Can you remove yourself and/or ideas entirely or at least step back and look at it from all angles to keep the balanced outlook? Do you not have any libra or 7th house to help with this?

click to expand

Capri -- I forgot to answer the first question.

My outlook is taking all possible angles into consideration, but I am unable to put them together - solidify and make them complete... something always feels missing.

That's one scenario

Another scenario is, I keep switching between old ones and new realised or 'complete yet incomplete' ones too..

Another scenario is it all just feels incomplete.. I can't explain lol

My ability to express or have a good outlook - the very thought process has worsened as i got older.. it was better when I was younger, somehow I feel i had more clarity back then even if it didn't consider more angles.

WATCH THE DAMNED VIDEO

Posted by RumiL


Yeah.. kinda 🙂

Hmm. so, adulting also pushes us out of our comfort zones? :-)

I guess I am worrying too much about giving my best that I am forgetting that everything in the end will be learning experience, even if we err...

You could say that. That's probbaly the first realization - while making a step towards adulthood: "comfort zone is an illusion..." one that's partially sustained by our parents when we're children, the survival part... which to some extent, while not feeling the need to carry that weight - it can give the child a sense of freedom - of carefreeness...



...and yet, in the same time - it's also an entrapment - cause it's a state of dependence - where the child is controlled and feels obliged to show some obedience - while lacking the means to support himself - to be autonomous (which can imply a whole 'nother sense of freedom... ^^)



Even when you'll be able to sustain yourself - the comfort zone will still be an illusion - something that can work against you. I mean, there's all kinds of people - who are stuck in a situation which makes them miserable - simply because they have a comfort zone - which makes their misery more bearable.

That, and... we're not that different from our parents. I mean... even though, as their children - we only know them as parents (: as if they were born in this role), they're people just like us (children too), people who used to walk in our shoes - once upon a time... Thus, they struggled with life in a similar way - they made lots and lots and lots of mistakes and... most of time, same as "all" the people on this planet - "they didn't know what they were doing".

-------

Side note (a story that's based on the father archetype - so it's somehow related): Jesus said something similar - when he was crucified and mocked by the audience: "Father - forgive them, for - they don't know what they are doing...."



...in his wisdom, he was aware that - they're being unconscious like children - if they use fear and hate as guidance... and that - is also the moral of this story.

(i'm not religious - just eclectic)

-------

Be it logic or a gut feeling (intuition / following the heart), both are a gamble - when it comes to future plans. They're just tools (derived from a limited experience/understanding), which indeed - can aid us in terms of guidance - but neither is completely reliable. We can go wrong either way and we do (go wrong), it's just that... once we made a decision - we might try to be more accepting of it - as if it's the right choice (unless we have the option to reconsider... ^^).

For example... let's say you want to buy something - and there's multiple options to chose from. Whatever we might chose - there's always a better or worst option out there (thousands of them even). Though, once we made a choice (let's say - it's not something we can return) - we learn to accept it... even though, in some cases - we use those products only once or twice (some type of clothing - for example), while in others cases - we might wish for something better - but since it's something we're bound to use on a daily basis (a phone, a laptop... our house) - and it's functional (does the job good enough) - we might stick to what we got. Now, this might surprise you, but many people - chose to study at certain school and later - they end-up in careers that have nothing to do with what they studied. While thinking of all the people i know from real life, well... the majority are in this situation (that's more than 80% - if not more than 90% ).

If we're to exclude primary school (cause that's mandatory) - we have 4 years in high school + 3 years in a faculty. That's 7 years - that seem to be wasted (not to mention - the costs). So... are those people failures, did they fail at life for making a choice that's deemed as important - yet it proved to be unreliable?! No. Definitely not. Life is measured in experiences - not wrong or right choices (no matter what we choose - there's always room for regrets). And that too can be an experience (with ups and downs and all kind of lessons - beyond the ones with a didactic purpose).

Guys, many many thanks for the responses! 😘

I'm a little lazy to respond right now.. will do so shortly - after I do my rounds on DXP :p

thankyou all 🙂