What does it mean

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Whorpio on Saturday, September 14, 2019 and has 34 replies.

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

When your parents express little interest in visiting you, and instead make you chase them all around the world if you want to see them?

My parents haven’t come to visit me in two years. It makes me sad because I’m staying at this super fancy place now and I want them to see what I’ve accomplished (or I guess what my boyfriend has accomplished) for myself.

When I lived in Louisiana they visited at least once a year, but now that I’m in Texas they’re like 👋

You know what’s even more fucked up? My mom went to Houston a year ago to look at this specific breed of dog rescue. A 2 hour drive from where I live. She didn’t even dedicate a day to come visit me. Just enough time for her to go look at dogs and then go home. I find this fucked up because my dad had to make a trip to Oregon (state changed for confidentiality reasons), but he flew to California (state also changed for confidentiality reasons) just so he could drive through my sisters town on his way to Oregon. He could’ve flown to a closer airport inside Oregon, but no, he chose the airport 6 hours away from his destination just so he could visit my sister.

Also they seem to visit my sister several times a year, and even travelled to watch my sisters friend graduate.

Then a couple weeks ago I somehow got included in a group text from one of their California friends all like “What time are you guys getting in? Want to go to dinner with my brother and I tomorrow night?”

I feel like they were trying to hide this California trip from me since they didn’t tell me about it, but I know their travel plans are often last minute so maybe they didn’t even know they were going on that trip.

The real icing on this soap opera is their Christmas plans. They want to celebrate Christmas down in Galveston, even offering to fly my sister and her husband down. I asked them if they’d be interested in coming to my city to meet my boyfriends family, since his parents like to spend Xmas here with le grandparents who can’t travel. You know what my mom said? “We don’t want to drive 4 hours when we don’t even know them” 😱 In my mind I was like ‘bisch y’all are driving 16 hours to Galveston, but a day trip to where I live is too much?’

In Sweden I told my mom it makes me feel like crap that they never visit, and she sorta just gave a pity look and said “sorry....alright let’s get inside”.

Do y’all think they hate me? I feel like them helping me move to Texas 2 years ago was just their way of dumping me here.

Sincerely,

Heartbroken Scorpio child of detached Virgo & Gemini parents

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by dilettante

just come back to new orleans, where you belong 🥰


I wish! Soon here I’m gonna be purchasing a vacation condo in Shreveport. Still haven’t decided if I want to get a cheap fixer upper and make it mine, or buy one that’s been renovated and looks fancy.

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Seems like they go to vacation destinations only. Maybe they think it would be a wasted trip to come see you. Like there's no fun in whatever town you live in.

I do this with my twin brother. (I realize these are your parents) I haven’t seen him or his kids cause I’d rather fly to a vacation spot then sit in his house and do nothing. I told him we can meet up on vacation somewhere.

Why don’t you drive to see them? Are you making an effort? You don’t have to, but if you want to see them.

They could also not be taking your life style choices seriously and don’t think you have much (you said your boyfriend is doing well)

You just never know. But they seem selfish and you should have a talk with them. They aren’t taking your feelings into consideration and probably don’t even realize there is an issue. Especially if you were the more independent child (I’m assuming)

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by -Damous

Lol your parents don’t give a FUCK. Them saying we don’t even know them is 100000% something I’d say when I don’t give a fuck about going or hurting feelings. Didn’t even give an excuse.


Sometimes, I wonder if they’ll ever meet my boyfriends parents. Even my boyfriends parents make jokes about not meeting them and going to track them down. Ironically, my boyfriends step dad was taking a trip to Colorado and joked he was going to search for my parents the same week my parents were visiting friends in Cali.

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by saggurl88

Seems like they go to vacation destinations only. Maybe they think it would be a wasted trip to come see you. Like there's no fun in whatever town you live in.

I do this with my twin brother. (I realize these are your parents) I haven’t seen him or his kids cause I’d rather fly to a vacation spot then sit in his house and do nothing. I told him we can meet up on vacation somewhere.

Why don’t you drive to see them? Are you making an effort? You don’t have to, but if you want to see them.

They could also not be taking your life style choices seriously and don’t think you have much (you said your boyfriend is doing well)

You just never know. But they seem selfish and you should have a talk with them. They aren’t taking your feelings into consideration and probably don’t even realize there is an issue. Especially if you were the more independent child (I’m assuming)


I think this is only partially true since my sister lives in a small, boring college town and they still make an effort to see her. But I do see how my town is also boring. Only difference is at least there’s good food in my town and I’m relatively close to Louisiana, the place they do enjoy.

Profile picture of TurnedOn
@TurnedOn
7 Years

Posted by Whorpio
Posted by TurnedOn
Posted by Whorpio
Posted by TurnedOn

Show me your hands .


I TOLD YOU MY IMAGE SHARING WEBSITE IS SHUTTING DOWN SO IT WONT LET ME UPLOAD PICTURES

Tinypic.com works just fine.

Try it because it isn’t working for me. I hit upload, it says “/ / ////// click here to view image” and then when I click that it takes me to my dxp album and the picture isn’t there.
click to expand

Too bad. Anyways I have them stored in my memory somewhere... Thanks though.

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by -Damous
Posted by Whorpio Sometimes, I wonder if they’ll ever meet my boyfriends parents. Even my boyfriends parents make jokes about not meeting them and going to track them down. Ironically, my boyfriends step dad was taking a trip to Colorado and joked he was going to search for my parents the same week my parents were visiting friends in Cali.

It doesn’t sound like they want to. Tbh if they won’t come see you why would they EVER wanna meet him or his parents?

click to expand


They’ve met my boyfriend a few times when I’ve taken him home for the past two Christmases, on our Swedish vacation, and at my cousins wedding this past August.

Profile picture of TurnedOn
@TurnedOn
7 Years

Posted by Whorpio
Posted by TurnedOn

Thanks for the upload. They are hot as hell.


Now tell me how I can live without the love and admiration from my parents 💔
click to expand

My theory is that, the more distant you are from your parents the more they love you. If it ever comes to choosing between you and your siblings, I know for a fact that they will always choose you. So you gotta maintain the hard exterior and and let this go. You will be rewarded like no one. And maybe who knows they might be a bit overwhelmed with what you have accomplished on your own and don't wanna say it out loud. So either ways you win.

Profile picture of saggurl88
@saggurl88
13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Whorpio
Posted by saggurl88

Seems like they go to vacation destinations only. Maybe they think it would be a wasted trip to come see you. Like there's no fun in whatever town you live in.

I do this with my twin brother. (I realize these are your parents) I haven’t seen him or his kids cause I’d rather fly to a vacation spot then sit in his house and do nothing. I told him we can meet up on vacation somewhere.

Why don’t you drive to see them? Are you making an effort? You don’t have to, but if you want to see them.

They could also not be taking your life style choices seriously and don’t think you have much (you said your boyfriend is doing well)

You just never know. But they seem selfish and you should have a talk with them. They aren’t taking your feelings into consideration and probably don’t even realize there is an issue. Especially if you were the more independent child (I’m assuming)


I think this is only partially true since my sister lives in a small, boring college town and they still make an effort to see her. But I do see how my town is also boring. Only difference is at least there’s good food in my town and I’m relatively close to Louisiana, the place they do enjoy.
click to expand

You should just have a talk with them and just say “Wtf!? You do have another daughter who would like you to come visit.”

Profile picture of AbbyNormal
@AbbyNormal
12 Years5,000+ PostsTaurus

Sadly, I just dont think some people feel as deeply regarding "family", and that is hardest when they are yours. Im really sorry that they act so detached. You will have to be okay always making the effort never knowing if they will ever reciprocate, or let it go and let them be who they are without taking it personally. Its easier said than done. I still dont even know the right answer when it comes to my own detached family, but I just do my thing and try to stay connected here and there. Wishing you peace and security. Every one has wanted their parents to be proud of them whether they admit it or not. And some may never get it, but who knows what the future holds. Be proud for yourself and let that pride speak for itself.

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by AbbyNormal

Sadly, I just dont think some people feel as deeply regarding "family", and that is hardest when they are yours. Im really sorry that they act so detached. You will have to be okay always making the effort never knowing if they will ever reciprocate, or let it go and let them be who they are without taking it personally. Its easier said than done. I still dont even know the right answer when it comes to my own detached family, but I just do my thing and try to stay connected here and there. Wishing you peace and security. Every one has wanted their parents to be proud of them whether they admit it or not. And some may never get it, but who knows what the future holds. Be proud for yourself and let that pride speak for itself.


❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Profile picture of _Dazed
@_Dazed
7 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Whorpio

When your parents express little interest in visiting you, and instead make you chase them all around the world if you want to see them?

My parents haven’t come to visit me in two years. It makes me sad because I’m staying at this super fancy place now and I want them to see what I’ve accomplished (or I guess what my boyfriend has accomplished) for myself.

When I lived in Louisiana they visited at least once a year, but now that I’m in Texas they’re like 👋

You know what’s even more fucked up? My mom went to Houston a year ago to look at this specific breed of dog rescue. A 2 hour drive from where I live. She didn’t even dedicate a day to come visit me. Just enough time for her to go look at dogs and then go home. I find this fucked up because my dad had to make a trip to Oregon (state changed for confidentiality reasons), but he flew to California (state also changed for confidentiality reasons) just so he could drive through my sisters town on his way to Oregon. He could’ve flown to a closer airport inside Oregon, but no, he chose the airport 6 hours away from his destination just so he could visit my sister.

Also they seem to visit my sister several times a year, and even travelled to watch my sisters friend graduate.

Then a couple weeks ago I somehow got included in a group text from one of their California friends all like “What time are you guys getting in? Want to go to dinner with my brother and I tomorrow night?”

I feel like they were trying to hide this California trip from me since they didn’t tell me about it, but I know their travel plans are often last minute so maybe they didn’t even know they were going on that trip.

The real icing on this soap opera is their Christmas plans. They want to celebrate Christmas down in Galveston, even offering to fly my sister and her husband down. I asked them if they’d be interested in coming to my city to meet my boyfriends family, since his parents like to spend Xmas here with le grandparents who can’t travel. You know what my mom said? “We don’t want to drive 4 hours when we don’t even know them” 😱 In my mind I was like ‘bisch y’all are driving 16 hours to Galveston, but a day trip to where I live is too much?’

In Sweden I told my mom it makes me feel like crap that they never visit, and she sorta just gave a pity look and said “sorry....alright let’s get inside”.

Do y’all think they hate me? I feel like them helping me move to Texas 2 years ago was just their way of dumping me here.

Sincerely,

Heartbroken Scorpio child of detached Virgo & Gemini parents

Do they know you're a whore?

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by -Damous

Tell them outright it hurts your feelings and that you do notice the things they do like driving through your sisters town.


I told my mom and she just seemed to fake sympathy. Like her face went blank and she stared down and then looked back up at me and said “sorry....alright let’s go inside”.

Profile picture of Gemitati
@Gemitati
11 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Whorpio
Posted by _Dazed

Do they know you're a whore?


I haven’t flat out said anything along those lines to them. Besides, that life style was back when I lived in Louisiana, and they visited me then.
click to expand

I am open next week. Where am I staying and book my tickets in business class.

I prefer Wednesday. See ya...😍

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Whorpio I haven’t flat out said anything along those lines to them. Besides, that life style was back when I lived in Louisiana, and they visited me then.

I am open next week. Where am I staying and book my tickets in business class.

I prefer Wednesday. See ya...😍

click to expand


You can stay in our guest bedroom. I will email you your ticket shortly 😘😘

Profile picture of Gemitati
@Gemitati
11 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by mudra_

Obviously there's love there but parents play favorites. It's always obvious. My mom bends over backwards for my junkie sister and hardly gives me the time of day or comes to my house sooo...

You know what? Fk it. Just keep on keepin' on. Sometimes it feels a bit lonely and unfair but wtf can you do? Back off and stop contact for a bit then let em know how you're feeling when one reaches out.

From what I am observing is parents loving weaker kids more. Nobody likes strong ones.

So...you’ll have to just be moving on and never mind them.

@Whorpio

You don’t really want them to come because they are feeling guilty right? So...fuck them!

You can’t MAKE people loving you. Let go...

Profile picture of Gemitati
@Gemitati
11 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Whorpio
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Whorpio I haven’t flat out said anything along those lines to them. Besides, that life style was back when I lived in Louisiana, and they visited me then.

I am open next week. Where am I staying and book my tickets in business class.

I prefer Wednesday. See ya...😍


You can stay in our guest bedroom. I will email you your ticket shortly 😘😘
click to expand

Hmmm...if I hear a noise - I am watching!!! 😳

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by Silverado

I don't know, my family is pretty close so I can't offer you any advice. It's probably the Hispanic culture thing to do. 🤷🏻‍♂️


My childhood best friend is Hispanic. Sometimes I feel like her family is more of a family to me than my own family.

Profile picture of Ram416
@Ram416
10 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Whorpio
Posted by TurnedOn

Thanks for the upload. They are hot as hell.


Now tell me how I can live without the love and admiration from my parents 💔
click to expand

You can live without their admiration.not sure about the love.

They clearly favour your sister. Do you feel like competing or would you prefer to say fuck it all and move on?