Pisces Men/Virgo Woman: Stay or Walk Away?

Hello All!

I am new to this forum and am so grateful that I stumble upon it. Thank you in advance to those of you who can offer an information/non-judgmental insight to my situation. I apologize in advance as it is going to be a rather long post.

Met this Pisces guy about a month ago and at first he was very persistent. Called, left messages, texted. We finally met and the chemistry was instant, electrifying, almost scary, it was that amazing. What attracted me the most is how gentle, sensual, intuitive, in touch with his emotions and open he was in the conversation. Very different from a typical guy I usually go for, which is an A-type, dominant, extravert, etc. He was pretty open about him being in a state of his life where he has learned about himself so much and knows himself well and he has been just letting himself exploring and enjoying what life has to offer. He has been dating and told me that he can either just see a girl as someone to have sex with and nothing more than that or there are those who he sees as a potential g/f material. He is always clear about his intentions and always tells women which category they fall into. If a woman asks, which he says most of them never do, where they stand, he will always be honest and upfront. He never sends mixed signals, because if it's just sex, he will never do anything more than calling her up and being like hey what are you doing? You wanna come over? None of the things like calling/texting, making plans, going out, doing other things would ever take place.

So obviously, as open as he is about his sexuality, he wanted to be intimate right away but I have never jumped into anything sexual with a guy on date one, so I declined. Although we had an out of this world chemistry and had a pretty hot make out session in the car that night. He continued to call/text until we agreed to meet again about a week later. I decided that I will break my rules for once in my lifetime and will go see him with an intention to just have sex and that would be the end of it. I guess on the back of my mind, I've always wondered how other women do it and what that experience would be like. It was amazing to say the least and as I was leaving his place, he was almost telepathic about my thoughts and said "don't tell me that this is the only time I am going to see you." It was as he was reading my mind because I was sure as hell telling myself that I should never even get on that path with him and see him after that

night because I already knew that I would eventually grow to like him more. But of course, stupid me, I asked him if he would like to see me again and he said yes, of course. So I said OK.

We saw each other that weekend and again, it was so nice and peaceful and it just felt like I would not want to be anywhere else but there in his company. Through our conversations I asked him some probing questions, because as a Virgo, that's how I learn about a person through gathering info and listening to person's views on life and reflection of various experiences, I've discovered that there is an ex in the picture. They have broken up about a year ago, from what he told me, but she just recently reappeared. I feel that he is honest in that he is open about her being in his life and he is telling me that he doesn't want to be with her but there is something that keeps him still talking to her although she has hurt him pretty badly. He says it's hard for him to explain that...

We saw each other for the third time and after talking about relationships in general, there was also something that he told me, which I felt was sort of an indirect request directed at me. It went something like this: I don't see a point of defining a relationship because if it is progressing and two people are enjoying each other's company, a person would know where it stands. And sometimes, it could be a scenario such as this: you ask me - what are we? Are we an item? And I may not be ready for a relationship and I tell you that and you become distant and guarded because of that and pull back and then a month from now things change and now I am ready but you are not because of what I told you a month ago." I am not 100% sure it was him basically telling me "don't ask" and "I'm not ready/not looking for anything serious at this point" or if he was just speaking in general, but I kind of sensed that he was telling me to not have any expectations. Through all this time, he's been amazing in terms of willing to talk, listen to my points of view, touching, attentive, present in the moment, sweet, charming, gentle. You know all of the things that Pisces are so great at. That weekend was the best weekend I had in years! We went to a farmers market, went out to eat, and did some other things that I had never done before. Basically, he showed me how to let loose, live life and enjoy the moment.

Then the following week, I've noticed him starting to be a bit distant. No phone calls, texts we

re a few far in between, like a small talk - hey how are you, what's up. Not that he fell off the face of the Earth, but definitely a change in dynamic from how it was when he was first insisting on us meeting for the first time and after that. Now, he was starting to get sick the last time I saw him and he told me a couple of times that he wasn't feeling well. Not sick as in cold, fever, etc, but just a mild cough, never the less, not pleasant state of being, I am sure. And as much as I wanted to believe that the reason for his lack of communication/eagerness to talk, not setting up any plans to see me again was due to that, but on the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if he was just busy with other women. After all, I know he is dating others and as most of us women do, we make up shit in our heads, especially if things are very ambiguous from a guy's side. So I tried to be compassionate through my texts to him but when he would go silent for a a couple of days or not respond to my texts, it started to bother me. I have never dated, or even met a Pisces man in my life, so I didn't know about this tendency to be moody/disappear, etc. I just kept it casual on a surface but the truth to be told it started to really get to me. Plus, being a Virgo, I don't do well with the whole concept of dating several people at the same time. It's never been me and I respect myself too much to just be another woman or an option while someone is trying to figure out if there is someone better, smarter, sexier, etc.

Anyway, I reached the point where I wanted to send him an email telling him how this change in his communication has started to bother me and suggest that I we should not continue to get together anymore because he doesn't seem to be ready for anything serious and I don't do the whole up and down, hot/cold thing. But I didn't sent that email. Instead, it served as a tool for me to reflect on how I was feeling and ponder on some questions and why I felt the way I did, think quietly, in solitude. Basically, I wanted to know/see/get some reassurance that this guy is just as interested in me as I am in him and that if I go ahead and put myself out there, I am not going to get hurt and be played. I believe that all of our negative emotions of frustration, sadness, anger, insecurities, all come from one source and that is the daunting fear of not receiving love....

Then I had a convo with my friend, who put things into a perspective for me even further

She asked me if I wanted to be with this man and I told her yes. She then suggested to me to focus on what kind of woman I would like myself to be in a relationship and be that woman for him, and stop worrying about his ex and all other women which he may or may not be dating (that would all be in my head). She said - accept him as he is and change things about yourself first and with that, he will change too. Basically the message was - one's perception is one's reality. And so I did and instead of sending that "I feel hurt and can't do this with you" letter, I send him a message telling him that I felt that there has been something that I feel he's been dealing with lately and I just wanted him to know that if he ever needed me to talk, I was always there for him. He called me right away and told me that it was nothing, he was fine spiritually, but it's him not being 100% healthy is what was causing him not wanting to be around me and other people much. We had a pretty honest and open talk and I could not wish for it to go any better. I told him that I totally get that and I will give him his space and time to get better and whenever he feels like he wants to hang out, he can call me. Right there and then, I felt a relief. I think hearing his say that it was not because of all the bs I was making up in my head, made my fears go away. And again, he could have been bullshitting me through that entire conversation, but I want to trust that he is telling the truth.

He wanted to hang out that weekend and even cancelled his plans to see me. When we saw each other, he was still sick, I could tell, but we had an amazing connection, talked about our week/day, and had amazing lovemaking session. Next day he was back to texting, calling, left me the sweetest message telling me how incredible I looked that night and how much he appreciated my sweet/soft/caring energy and being understanding with him not being in the best of moods and told me that he was very appreciative of all of that.

Today we exchanged a couple of texts in the morning and then he didn't respond to my last but then has been silent throughout the day. I feel that it's starting to turn around again, and I would not be surprised if I don't hear from him tomorrow or for a few days. The thing is I am super intuitive person too and I usually pick up on people's moods/vibes. I feel that there is something off, although some of you may say I am over analyzing and/or too needy, over reacting and not

hing is wrong, it's only been a month, so I should chill out.

Still, my question to you is this though - do you think, based on what I have outlined here, I am indeed just another woman amongst a bunch he is dating at the same time, which would explain him being on and off? And if so, should I wait around a little longer to see if he may start to like me more and will naturally gravitate to be with me (he did tell me that he usually starts to be inclined to like someone more and naturally, stops seeing others and starts spending time with that woman he like most) or should I just run the hell out of here while it's still very fresh and I have not invested my heart in it(I am starting to feel like I am about to fall for him, therefore fear is creeping in ;()?

I feel like those couple of times where I had thoughts of not seeing him/stopping this "hanging out" thing, he could tune into my mind and was there to stop me from ending this. But then again, I don't even know what to call it between us to be frank, it definitely doesn't like like JUST sex and nothing more, but then again, I am not sure if he likes me based on him being on and off. Then when I put myself out there and let myself be myself, and let him see the sweet/nice/available side of me, he seems to get distant. From what I have read, this is a typical behavioral pattern for Pisces men....or do you think this is caused by his ex being in the picture, having something unresolved with her, and him being unsure and therefore, just playing me and being all this super nice charming guy when in reality I am just a rebound or "feeling the emotional turmoil" type of thing? I would hate to be in this situation and would want to know if that was the case, but I know better not to ask...

I don't want to sound/seem needy and insecure, yet I can't continue on this roller coaster should this continues to happen for another month/two/three. Is it safe to just tell a Pisces man how you feel? He's told me that a woman should never be afraid to talk to him about feelings because he can understand and is not opposed to discussing that stuff in contrast to how most men are. So I've entertained the thought of expressing to him how I've been feeling lately and opening up more but then I am afraid that I will turn him off and he will completely disappear. Or should I just try my best to go with the flow like nothing is bothering me? But again, that would not be authentic me and I am pretty bad at lying, pre

tending, making stuff up....So I feel very torn and uneasy 😢 Any advice would be greatly appreciated and again I am very sorry for such a long post. Just wanted you to have as much to go off of as possible so you can offer a solid insight. Thanks a million!!!

Posted by SoftEnergy
She then suggested to me to focus on what kind of woman I would like myself to be in a relationship and be that woman for him,

This is really bad advice.

My advice is to ask him straight up if he's seeing other women. He's told you he is a frank person and he will respond to your questions so..honest communication is the way to go.

I think your feelings are a little too engaged at this phase and you should dial it down a bit.

I'm not a Pisces Man though.

Thank you for your reply Damnata. Why do you think it was a bad advice?

Also, I know that it may sound to some people that I let my emotions/thoughts to run wild and get the best of me at such an early development stage. But unfortunately, I'm this way if I really like someone which doesn't happen often at this point in my life (I'm in my 30's and am selective as to the men I choose to spend time with).

And I know he's dating other women. I mentioned that we had lots of conversations and I can read between the lines...

Posted by SoftEnergy
She then suggested to me to focus on what kind of woman I would like myself to be in a relationship and be that woman for him,

This is good advice.

I think, with a pisces, you need to take things a bit in your hands and invest yourself in the relationships, generally pisces get distant, either because they see other women and you're just one of them, or because they like the woman, but feel that she's too poassive about the relationship.
Considering the date you've had together, I think he probably likes you but don't expect a pisces man to lead the relationship too much IMHO.

Tell him that you want more and see how he reacts, he might need a bit of time to make up his mind about it.

You got intimate too soon and I feel like he was playing you a bit. He was being honest to the point of getting you to trust him and letting your guard down so that he could put the moves on you and have sex. One big difference between the genders is that men can have mindblowing sex and still not fall in love with you. We take mind blowing sex as a validation that "it's love!" For a lot of men, but not all, you give it up too soon, and the chase is over/thrill is gone. Yeah, they might still want to "hit it" a few more times but that's all. If you want something serious with any man of any sign, you really do need to hold off on the sex until you see if there's more than just chemistry between you too. Some people get lucky and are able to skirt this "getting to know you process" but most of us learn the hard way that having sex too soon short circuits the entire process. What worries me about your situation is a) you had sex too soon b) he told you about an ex still being in the picture AFTER you had sex. Where was that level of honesty when he was pouring out his heart to you and c) he's already doing the cold fish routine.

For what it's worth, I've had a 7 year relationship with a pisces man. There was never any back & forth, hot and cold with him because he really dug me. He was kind and sensitive in the ways pisces men can be for sure but he was on it like white on rice. Save yourself for love. When a man loves you, you can't not know it and you won't be asking these questions.

Posted by SoftEnergy

.... I am super intuitive person too and I usually pick up on people's moods/vibes.

When in reality .... you haven't picked up on anything, that is why this thread exists.

Posted by SoftEnergy

.... and I can read between the lines.

click to expand

You aren't capable of reading between any lines ... which is obvious, since you have to rely on other people to tell you what YOUR own relationship means, according to situations that happen.


You start this off by saying .. no judging .. then you proceed to describe to us how you have no ability to make sound judgments for yourself.

So, the bottom line here is ..... you're clueless about yourself and how you position yourself with him, so you should work on that before attempting another person, especially a Pisces.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by SoftEnergy
She then suggested to me to focus on what kind of woman I would like myself to be in a relationship and be that woman for him,

This is really bad advice.

click to expand

Agreed



This working on yourself should be for YOU. The only thing you accomplish here is being his doormat.

For those who cannot read this verbal diarrhea .. here it is in a nutshell:


The Pisces man wants fwb, the OP, who is a female Virgo wants a relationship .... so she agrees to have a fwb with intentions of trying to get him to have the feelings for her that she desires.

So, she tries different tactics .. all no avail.

So, she is here .... whining because now she feels like the cheap whore that her actions are telling her she is.

Posted by SoftEnergy
Thank you for your reply Damnata. Why do you think it was a bad advice?

Also, I know that it may sound to some people that I let my emotions/thoughts to run wild and get the best of me at such an early development stage. But unfortunately, I'm this way if I really like someone which doesn't happen often at this point in my life (I'm in my 30's and am selective as to the men I choose to spend time with).

And I know he's dating other women. I mentioned that we had lots of conversations and I can read between the lines...

It's bad advice because you cannot picture how you'll be in a relationship and then act on it. We all have some guidelines about how we act in life but in a relationship it depends entirely on the two people involved. It should come across organic and natural, not some fantasy you enact.

Posted by djbuck1
May we have the "Cliff Notes" version of the OP, please?

I sense a strong aries moon in you 😄

Posted by Este8
You got intimate too soon and I feel like he was playing you a bit. He was being honest to the point of getting you to trust him and letting your guard down so that he could put the moves on you and have sex. One big difference between the genders is that men can have mindblowing sex and still not fall in love with you. We take mind blowing sex as a validation that "it's love!" For a lot of men, but not all, you give it up too soon, and the chase is over/thrill is gone. Yeah, they might still want to "hit it" a few more times but that's all. If you want something serious with any man of any sign, you really do need to hold off on the sex until you see if there's more than just chemistry between you too. Some people get lucky and are able to skirt this "getting to know you process" but most of us learn the hard way that having sex too soon short circuits the entire process. What worries me about your situation is a) you had sex too soon b) he told you about an ex still being in the picture AFTER you had sex. Where was that level of honesty when he was pouring out his heart to you and c) he's already doing the cold fish routine.

For what it's worth, I've had a 7 year relationship with a pisces man. There was never any back & forth, hot and cold with him because he really dug me. He was kind and sensitive in the ways pisces men can be for sure but he was on it like white on rice. Save yourself for love. When a man loves you, you can't not know it and you won't be asking these questions.

Thank you for your input Este8. I agree with you that often men lure you in by appearing to be to honest just for the sake of having sex. The thing is, initially I didn't think I would want anything with this guy and that is why I decided to become intimate the second time we saw each other. But yes, I employ the same tactic as what you had stated - if I see a guy who I potentially see as a relationship material, I will hold off until I see that there is more to it than just the physical attraction.

As for the part where you said it was worrying you that he told me about his ex after the fact of us becoming intimate, again, I never asked and it came up in a conversation, when I saw that he was a bit distraut. She showed up at his house to pick up mail the night before we saw each other and he had asked her numerous times to change the address. So that was ho

w the ex came into the picture. She was not there when we first met, at least I want to believe that was the case.

I guess the reason why I came here is to get other Pisces opinion as to whether you think he is just playing me based on everything I explained or if there could be something between us and he is just not sure due to his ex still being in his life or because he is also dating other women. I am not used to this hot/cold thing and as you Este8, I believe that if a man is interested in a woman, he will be full "on" showing her that he is interested. But I also realize that different signs/people may act totally different in exact same predicament.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by SoftEnergy

.... I am super intuitive person too and I usually pick up on people's moods/vibes.

When in reality .... you haven't picked up on anything, that is why this thread exists.

Posted by SoftEnergy

.... and I can read between the lines.

You aren't capable of reading between any lines ... which is obvious, since you have to rely on other people to tell you what YOUR own relationship means, according to situations that happen.


You start this off by saying .. no judging .. then you proceed to describe to us how you have no ability to make sound judgments for yourself.

So, the bottom line here is ..... you're clueless about yourself and how you position yourself with him, so you should work on that before attempting another person, especially a Pisces.

click to expand

Please don't take something out of context and then present it as if you know what you are talking about. The "reading between the lines" portion was directly used in case of me knowing that he is dating other women, because he said so in an indirect way. So I didn't have to ask as someone else had previously suggested that I do.

As for the judgment, again, you make no sense. I asked to give me an input/advice without judging my thoughts/actions/feeling that I have put out here on the board. That is what I was referring to. What does it have to do wih me not being able to make any judgments for myself?

Finally, can I ask you - what is this strong need that you have to insult/offend people? From what I've seen on this forum, you do that a lot. If you can't express it in a cool logical way, why bother? People come here for advice. You didn't give me any. Just merely expressed your negativity as to how I am clueless, not being able to make sound judgments and lacking intuition...Why would you do that?

Posted by IrresistableScorp
It's not really hot and cold when other women are involved is it? I would think hot and cold is based on emotional closeness followed by emotional distance.

When there are other women involved its more like on/ off.

Emotions on when he's with you. Emotions off when he's with next girl.

No hot and cold about it. If he's got more than one girl going, you only become a consideration when he's considering which girl to be with next.

If this is true. Why you want to be option girl. And if you don't mind being option girl, please learn to turn your feeling on and off like your guy with multiple girls.

Thank you so much for your response IS. No, I don't want to be an option and that is why this situation is starting to bother me. However, wouldn't you agree that you can't dictate the rules when you are just starting to see someone? No one likes to hear an ultimatum - it's either me or go date other women. I know that I would not like it if a guy was telling me whom I am allowed to associate with and whom I am not early on. Not sure, maybe Pisces men are different— I have considered asking or hinting that I don't want to be just another woman but then what if he is not dating anyone? So yes, I am afraid to come off as a pushy, possessive, too much too soon type of woman. Because if there is a chance that he genuinely likes me and is considering to turn it into a relationship, I would hate to ruin that chance. Do you see why I am so torn and frustrated?

So, I've read everything all over again. You say he told your indirectly he is dating other women. You also say you read between the lines. Did you ask him straight up if he is dating other women?

You should express your boundaries at the beginning of a relationship, though in this case you never treated it as such. You said yourself you didn't think of him in terms of dating, which is why you had sex with him on the second date.

You're coming across as passive agressive. You build these scenarios in your head about what's going on but you don't ask him straight up.

Posted by hydorah

Posted by SoftEnergy
She then suggested to me to focus on what kind of woman I would like myself to be in a relationship and be that woman for him,

This is good advice.

I think, with a pisces, you need to take things a bit in your hands and invest yourself in the relationships, generally pisces get distant, either because they see other women and you're just one of them, or because they like the woman, but feel that she's too poassive about the relationship.
Considering the date you've had together, I think he probably likes you but don't expect a pisces man to lead the relationship too much IMHO.

Tell him that you want more and see how he reacts, he might need a bit of time to make up his mind about it.

click to expand

Thank you for your input, Hydorah. So you don't think that I will come off as too needy/pushy if I were to say that I want more this early on? After all, it's only been a month since we first met. And if it is the case of him dating other women, I honestly have no way of knowing unless asking point blank, do you think it would make sense to wait and see if he starts to gravitate towards me more which will eventually lead to him stopping to date others?

Again why don't you ask him straight-up? At least you'll know if he's dating others and can choose then if you're willing to stick around or not.

Posted by cornfuzzled4ever
If I'm being honest, I disagree with what everyone has said thus far. I think you've all been far too negative and judgmental. From my perspective, she's handled things maturely, and they've both communicated as well as they could have. Maybe I'm just projecting because I've been in a similar situation (on the guys side) but it sounds like he likes her and it really seems to me like this woman is on the right course. I think that the guy hasn't made up his mind, not because he's playing games, but because he's just slow to jump into things. And I think that if this woman shares her feelings with him, it will be the necessary push for him to make up his mind.

Maybe they DID both use each other for sex in the beginning. But it sounds like they BOTH have sincere feelings for each other now. And I think that this woman has been understanding, patient, appreciative, and in general, all the things a Pisces man needs to feel secure. That's just my perspective.

That was my whole point. She needs to be straight-up and stop guessing at his behavior. She doesn't even know if he's dating others or not. He could be completely invested in her.

From what I get from her though..it seems like she's looking for the magic formula to keep being passive and not engage him in a dirrect discussion. She isn't looking after her own feelings in this if she's not willing to step up a little.

Posted by Damnata
So, I've read everything all over again. You say he told your indirectly he is dating other women. You also say you read between the lines. Did you ask him straight up if he is dating other women?

You should express your boundaries at the beginning of a relationship, though in this case you never treated it as such. You said yourself you didn't think of him in terms of dating, which is why you had sex with him on the second date.

You're coming across as passive agressive. You build these scenarios in your head about what's going on but you don't ask him straight up.

Hi Damnata. Thank you for being willing to share your valuable thoughts with me on this. There were a few things that have made me believe that he is indeed dating others besides me, not sure, maybe it's just one other but definitely I am not the ONLY woman he is seeing. For one, I know that he continues to be on various dating portals. No, I am not spying, just happened to see him active while I was on them. Secondly, he has his own personal page due to his professional/career involvement and he posts some topics in his blog and there is one which is directly focused on what it means to date, in his own words. After reading it, it was clear to me that he seems NOTHING wrong with dating multiple people at a time to be able to decide through the contrast of experiences what one may like and don't like about a potential partner. Having sex as a part of such experience is TOTALLY OK in his book and he does not see it as being promiscuous and so on. He also told me that he thinks that people take it too much out of context when using sex as some sort of a barganing tool for being worthy of being a dating material. There are hunderds of women who can give him what he wants and if one does not, he is not going to sit there and wait and wait and wait until she finally decides to grant him permission to her vagina. If you don't want to give/do something, there is always someone who will be willing to give/do. And finally, when we were laying in bed and having relationship conversations and I was hearing how open he is about sharing experiences with people, I couldn't help but think that I was probably not the only woman whom he is being intimate with. Now, please don't judge me here, but we have not been using a condom. So I had to voice my concerns right there and I told him that I know that I

should've probably brought it up before we became intimate, but I would like to know that if he is seeing others, that he is using protection because I've never had anything and don't want to catch anything at this point. He looked at me and said, yes of course. Now, it may not sound like a confirmation that he is sleeping with others to you, but to me, it was clear and loud that he is having sex with others. Otherwise, he could've just said - you have nothing to worry about, I am not sleeping with anyone else besides you.

Again, please don't cast your judgement on me here. It's hard for me to put myself out there like this as I am very private person but I understand that in order for me to get a solid facts-based advice from you, I have to be honest with how things are between us. Thank you again for everyone's input.

One thing I will address...he might have felt you were only in it for the sex at the beginning and now he's confused because he sees you want more.

Either way, don't succumb to this fear of being agressive or pushy. It's all in your mind, you're ovethinking it. It's not pushiness, it's assertion and we should all be proactive with our feelings and actions.

Doesn't even have to come across as forceful at all "Umm..pisces guy...I enjoy your company and I can see this developping quite nicely. What do you think?"

Posted by IrresistableScorp
And I dare anyone to rationalize his behavior to me. Oh it will be so on. Haha. Really? No.

Why would you be addressing HIS behavior?


::: looks around to see if he is here, and has spoken :::


To address his behavior relieves her from all accountability. So, let me guess ... you're a control freak.

Posted by SoftEnergy

Again, please don't cast your judgement on me here. It's hard for me to put myself out there like this as I am very private person but I understand that in order for me to get a solid facts-based advice from you, I have to be honest with how things are between us.

lol, what an idiot !!!

First of all, if you were capable of using sound judgment, then you wouldn't have to ask other people to do it for you.

You're how old? 30? And you STILL have to ask a person to reason your life out for you?

Second, you're not honest with yourself ..... you think you can read between the lines, and then in the next breath, ask what is meant.

Actually, you kind of sound like Undine and Lotus, in that, you fuck a man because he wants it ... even if/when it goes against your principals (if you have any) .. and now you think you're some kind of victim here who is not being treated right.


You opened your fucking legs ... you stupid twat.

Posted by IrresistableScorp
After reading what he writes on his blog, it sounds like he is a total wanker. Jesus. Who wants to be with someone who thinks fucking multiple women is okay and if the little lady doesn't wait around for him to choose or grant him access to her vagina he'll find someone else?

No.

IS, I think you may have misinterpretted what I said. He doesn't say it the way I put it in his blog. Actually, I think if you were to read it, you would like it. It's expressed in a very classy, non-judgmental, out of the box, spiritual thinking type of way. The statement about not giving access to vagina and him going elsewhere who is willing to, that was something that came up in our discussion about how he sees dating overall.

I don't really don't think that he is a douchbag and that he is just this guy who goes and fucks everything that moves. I sense it that if he is involved in a relationship and is really into someone, he is monogomous. But until that happens, he does not see a point of not going out in the world and exloring the options...

Posted by cornfuzzled4ever

Posted by SoftEnergy
should've probably brought it up before we became intimate, but I would like to know that if he is seeing others, that he is using protection because I've never had anything and don't want to catch anything at this point. He looked at me and said, yes of course. Now, it may not sound like a confirmation that he is sleeping with others to you, but to me, it was clear and loud that he is having sex with others. Otherwise, he could've just said - you have nothing to worry about, I am not sleeping with anyone else besides you.

Again, please don't cast your judgement on me here. It's hard for me to put myself out there like this as I am very private person but I understand that in order for me to get a solid facts-based advice from you, I have to be honest with how things are between us. Thank you again for everyone's input.

Sounds like he IS having sex with others, yes. Doesn't change what you have to do. Maybe I was wrong about him actually being into you, but either way you need to confront him about what YOU want, or don't expect anything to change.

click to expand

Hi Cornfuzzled4ever! Thank you so much for your mature posts. I am actually very surprised that you are so wise and see things in a broad spectrum for being so young. I want to make sure that you know that I've read all of your responses and am very appreciative of your views, opintions and advices.

It sounds like you and Damnata are both pretty sure that it would do no hard for me to express to him how I have been feeling about this situation. I think I need to get my thoughts together and decide how I want to address it so that I don't come across as too needy or insecure. I know, it may be in my head, but it is still a fear that I have. I really don't want to screw up a chance of having this to grow into something more. Afterall, he told me that he hates it when women don't express how they feel and then something comes out months later and he is like hello, I had no idea this was happening. He says that he likes it when someone is not afraid to be open, share their feelings and knows how to communicate well. So maybe it's just my own hang up that I will push him away by telling him how I feel because my past history has shown me that men don't like to discuss stuff like this and it suff

like this and it suffocates them. And the truth is it's hard for me to wrap my mind about the thoughts that this guy may be different....

Posted by djbuck1
May we have the "Cliff Notes" version of the OP, please?

Hi Djbuck! Sorry I know it was very long. Let's see if I can summarize the situation.

- Met Pisces about month ago. Had instant connection/chemestry/attraction to each other. Something I believe you can't fake.

- Became intimate on date 2. I went into it thinking I just wanted to experience what it would be like to let loose and not look for a serious b/f type out of it.

- We've been seeing each other since then several times. I started to like him and would like to see if it could develop into a relationship.

- I believe he is dating, aka sleeping with other women, not just me. His ex is also in the picture.

- I feel that he is on and off. When we are together, he is 100% on. Very attentive, gentle, lovemaking is out of this world. We have great connected conversations. I stayed at his house over night severla times on weekends. Went to comedy show, farmers market, bike ride, he fed me from a spoon, very charming, you know how Pisces can men can be 🙂 When we are apart, some days, he is super sweet, calls, texts "Thinking of you". Then there are days when I don't hear from him.

- This situation has started to bother me. I don't want to be just another woman, yet I don't want to come across as needy/pushy by asking what I am to him. Plus I sense that he is not in a place where he is ready for something serious; he has hinted indirectly. Yet, he has also stated that he is open to it, just not necessarilly looking for it.

- So I am very frustrated now because I don't know what I should do. Play it cool? Ask if he likes me? Tell him I don't want to be an option? Express how I feel? Or wait and see if he will gravitate towards me and naturally stop seeing other women.

PS I have never met or dates a Pisces man. He is March Pisces/Scorpio Moon, Ascendant Cancer and I am September Virgo/Capricorn Moon/Ascendant Libra if this matters at all.

Thank you in advance for your input!

Posted by cornfuzzled4ever
@IS: Yeah, men can do it too. It's just as wrong either way.

@SE: That's what Damnata was saying though- really, don't be afraid of expressing yourself. Remember one thing- Pisces men are the romantics of the zodiac. We don't like being suffocated, of course, but we don't shy away from expressions of love. And, if you're a Virgo, odds are he's more likely to suffocate you with romance than you are him.

Thank you, Corn! I will try talking to him next time I see him.

Meanwhile, what would you suggestion be in terms of how I should act while he is sorta distant (no calls, few/no texts). Should I not initiate anything either and just sit quiet? Btw, if you read my first post, at the end I said that I had a feeling that he was going to start pull back as I didn't hear from him all day. Well, this morning he texted me saying that he thought he was getting better but he is feeling worse now and is sick. So he will be taking it easy. Well...I texted back saying that I am sorry to hear that and hope he gets better soon and if he needs anything, he can let me know.....no response back......somehow I am sensing that he is not being true with me :/

Cancer Rising/Pisces Sun/Scorpio Moon, is he...

He is having sex with many, many women and it is not going to stop until he has had all the experiences he needs to have. You can tell him how you feel but honestly don't expect much. He is filling you with emotion through his logical explanations and rationalizing of feelings. Mainly, you're out of your depths with this one.

Use protection if you have sex with him again

Posted by shellshocker
Cancer Rising/Pisces Sun/Scorpio Moon, is he...

He is having sex with many, many women and it is not going to stop until he has had all the experiences he needs to have. You can tell him how you feel but honestly don't expect much. He is filling you with emotion through his logical explanations and rationalizing of feelings. Mainly, you're out of your depths with this one.

Use protection if you have sex with him again

Wow, really? 😢 Not what I was expecting but thank you for letting me know.

I can't believe you are so stupid that you actually expect this guy to act like anything except your dick ... you knew full well that that is all you were to him.

You come in here and act like you deserve to be treated like you're worthy.

You're one of his pieces of ass, that is all.

And here people have to talk to you like a some innocent and na??ve child who doesn't know any better.

To be honest, you're an embarrassment to the Virgos.

If you expect to be treated like a person with dignity ... then try having some first.

Posted by SoftEnergy

Posted by shellshocker
Cancer Rising/Pisces Sun/Scorpio Moon, is he...

He is having sex with many, many women and it is not going to stop until he has had all the experiences he needs to have. You can tell him how you feel but honestly don't expect much. He is filling you with emotion through his logical explanations and rationalizing of feelings. Mainly, you're out of your depths with this one.

Use protection if you have sex with him again

Wow, really? 😢 Not what I was expecting but thank you for letting me know.

click to expand

I don't understand your response to this.

He has a blog and has told you how he feels about dating and sleeping with others. The fact that he's a triple water sign and you have no water in those placements makes me think you want to believe more in how he makes you feel... than what he says to you.

You know him, not I... but feelings may not be involved on his part. Express yourself and be honest but don't try to maneuver and play it a certain way to get him to want to be with you. You can't *do* the right things with a guy like this you just have to *be* the right thing.

That's what I meant by out of your depths. But using protection in a situation like this is a given... come on now

Posted by cornfuzzled4ever
I stopped having sex with the other women. But I didn't tell her I had stopped, I just did. There WAS some overlap where I was having sex with her and other girls, and the one I fell for knew it was going on. But she didn't know when that overlap ended. She never asked, and I don't know how I would have felt/reacted if she had.

cornfuzz... how did you end it with the other women you were with? Did you honestly tell them you had met someone you wanted to be exclusive with? Did you stop return their calls? Did you lie?

If you didn't tell the girl you chose, that you stopped being with others for her... I'm curious how you handled the flip side of it.

Thanks. I'm curious about stuff but most people don't answer when I ask

Shellshocker, what I meant when responding to your post was I was hoping that maybe this guy wasn't all that bad as you have painted the picture. You said with certainty that he is sleeping with many many women. Not something that I would like to hear. Regardless, I have an update. We did talk tonight. And Corn, I wish it was a simple as in your situation where you said you were "dating" others and then gradually started to develop feelings for one girl which caused you to cease seeing others and become monogamous with her...Well, here is what happened.

After reading everyone's posts here and reflecting on how I felt about the idea of just going with the flow, I realized that I could not do it. So when I came home, I texted him saying that I don't think that we should see each other again and explained that I feel that something is off and as if I am being played. I told him that I am willing to do a lot for a man and a relationship, but I am not willing to be just another woman or an option. I also expressed to him that it was hard for me to walk away because he did show me a lot of amazing things, made me feel free and alive and I told him that I was grateful for such experience.

He called me right away and we had a pretty long conversation. He told me first that he really appreciated that I told him how I felt and that loved how well I expressed myself. He also pointed right away that he is not playing me. He enjoyed spending time with me every time we were together, that I am the sweetest person he's met in a long long time, that I continue to surprise him with the way I am and so on. However, the distance and what I feel like something is off is due to him not being well for the last couple of weeks. He said exactly what you Corn said - he has not been himself and talking to a lot of people during this time. He said it's not like he is spending time with other women. There are no others.

He also said that he is not in a state of mind where he is looking for anything specific or someone special. We touched on his ex and he said that because it was such a recent thing with her, he is not eager to start anything with anyone. He once again repeated what he once told me - when they talk (he only saw her once and that was when I found out during our conversation in the beginning, I had mentioned about it in my first post) she says a lot of nasty things but then there are also times when she is super sweet and he gets caught up in that memory/illu

sion of how good it was/could be. But he doesn't want to be in a relationship with her. But due to this emotional up and down and how it was in the past when it almost started to feel like co-dependent relationship, he has no desire to be or do anything with anyone. Translation - going out, having sex with no obligation and no commitment is what suits him now.

Then he started saying things that I am still trying to wrap my mind around and can't seem to comprehend as much as I would like to. So, he says that he doesn't need one woman. He can get "high" on love by loving many things/people - his friends, his cats, his hobby/business which he is so passionate about, his guy friends and so on. He does not believe that one woman can do and be all of what he would like to experience. He is in this place in his life where he doesn't want to have someone who he can love and trust. That is not something that is currently present and active in his life. Basically, he was saying that he doesn't necessarily see a point of basing his life on a life of another as he is cool on his own.

I then asked him so if it were that there was someone really special to walk into your life now or in a month from now, he would not take a chance on that person because he doesn't feel it would make his life any better and he said I am not saying I am against it but I am certainly NOT looking for it. He can get different things from different women. I asked him if he has been dating other women while with me and his response was - well I have a lot of girl friends whom I can go do things with - going hiking, dinners, movies, etc. Then he added - I understand that women want to be that one and only and it makes them feel special if a guy does ALL of the things with them, and I am sure you are like that too, so for that reason, I know that this is not fair to you and as much as I enjoy spending time with you, if you decide that want to end it, I totally understand and I'll respect your decision. This hurt like hell because I realized that he didn't really feel/think that I was as special as he was trying to tell me a minute ago. To me, if you feel that someone has something that you would like to have/experience more of, you would be afraid to say - well if you wanna go, go ahead.

I then asked him point blank if he's been intimate with anyone else besides me. He paused for a second, and then said that there was one girl he saw after we were intimate but then it ended and since th

en he has not been sleeping with anyone. I asked him why it ended and he said that she asked him for the same - she wanted more and he said he - no, he could not give it to her. So I guess she went on with her life. While he was telling me all this, she was pretty cool about it, like no big deal, like oh well, I'll live. And he actually added that yes, should I chose to end this, he will be fine and move on with his life, but it's not like he has not been genuine and sincerely while with me and he does care for me and hopes that I can feel that when we are together. I did suggest that maybe it was some sort of a protective mechanism or a guard of some sort that he has put up because of whatever happened in his relationship with his recent ex, or even prior to her, and he was like, no, why does it have to be that a person should always be looking for that one and only and wanting to be in a relationship. It's just not something I am interested in and it's not active for me at the moment.

When I asked him if, hypothetically, we were continuing this thing, is there a possibility that he will always be looking to get something from other women and so he will be intimate with others, seeing it as he doesn't think it's a big deal? And he said, there is always a possibility. Women seem to always want to share themselves with me. I have that effect on them, so yes. And I said, but it's not about them. It's about you. There will always be someone who is better, sexier, etc, it's up to you to decide whether you want to continue on that pass or whether you want to be true to the person you are with and say no, thank you. He said yes, you are right and I have done that in the past. Sex is not the only thing that I am interested in. When I asked him if he was monogamous during those 3 years he was with his ex and he said yes he was. Once he decides to be in a relationship with someone, he is one woman man. Until that occurs, he can do as he pleases.

How is all this for you? Does this sound all pretty normal and logical explanations? I mean I get the point of dating others so you can hopefully bump into the one who you really like but from the way he was explaining all of this, it feels like he sees NO value in love or trust, although he says that he can love many things/people. To me it sounds like a contradiction - he loves/cares but then he is not really attached to any of those things/people. I can't wrap my mind around that concept. Maybe you Corn can give me

a different insight on this?

At the end, he said that I am a very special woman. He would like to continue to see me. Those two statements got me confused and even more frustrated. I feel like he is trying me to stay attached to him because what woman wouldn't want to here those words? On the other hand, he doesn't want/think about a relationship. He says he is just present, right there, at that moment when he is with me, and he fully enjoying it and not pondering what it would be like to be in a relationship. But also knows that I, like most women, can't do this touchy/dovey/feely kinda stuff and not get emotionally attached. At the end he was getting tired and said his energy got drained from such a long convo and he needed to get off the phone. I saw he was not feeling well (we FaceTime each other) and I said of course. He said that we can continue with this conversation and he want to talk more and he will answer any questions I may have. And he would like to see me soon.

Well, can I say that I am feeling relieved? Not really...because it's not like he said, no sorry, I am not interested in you, it's just sex. But then again, he said he is not looking for a relationship at the moment. Being a Virgo, I don't do well with ambiguity and gray areas. I am clear that our timing is not right though. He did say that who knows, this is how I feel now and maybe a year or a month from now, I will be feeling different, and this is just a stage where I am in my life at right now...


Corn, IS, Damnata, Shell, DJ, I would appreciate hearing your thoughts on this. Thank you!

Thank you, Corn. I am sad, but I know your advice is the right thing to do...still fucking hurts pretty badly when deep down inside you have a tiny hope that maybe, just maybe a person you like and have decided to take your chances with is going to be open and honest with you. Thank you for all your wise words. Good night!

Yes, see it's all nice and fluffy that he tells you all of this shit AFTER he slept with you.

If he was that carefree and nice about everything, he would've stated straigh up he's only looking for sex. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was emotional manipulation.

However, don't take this the wrong way but you are also at fault because by sleeping with him this soon, you gave him the impression you're cool with a casual approach.

not a pisces male, but i am a virgo female. and from one to another, you were definitely being too passive aggressive with him. i understand the whole "glimmer of hope let me hang onto it and rationalize all the crap that i'm feeling at the moment because glimmer of hope" but you see from that, it's just one cyclic loop. not saying you should project your expectations onto him, but you should definitely assert your wants/needs and not be so afraid of messing it all up.... because well if it's broken after that then you know HIS wants/needs don't align with yours. on a similar note, i like to think that no one owes you anything... you don't owe him anything and certainly in this case he doesn't owe YOU anything either. SO to answer your question to stay or walk away, well you don't owe it to him to stay OR walk away. you really owe it to yourself.. so ask yourself if you are happy with the current situation and i think you'll know the answer soon enough. cheers 🙂

I don't know what the fuck is up with you, or the delusion of the responders who are coming in here and saying bullshit the amounts to .... he used you.

Because you knew from the very beginning that he wasn't interested in you, and you made the decision to fuck a man with no strings attached.

He didn't lead you astray .... he told you straight up.

So, why the fuck people would come in here and lie to you, and try to make you feel like he wronged you ... I have no clue.

But, they're lying. this man did nothing to you .. he was honest with you from day one. It was YOU who decided to whore yourself to him.

Posted by SoftEnergy

I did suggest that maybe it was some sort of a protective mechanism or a guard of some sort that he has put up because of whatever happened in his relationship with his recent ex, or even prior to her

... it feels like he sees NO value in love or trust ...

why in the fuck would you suggest that? This man tells you exactly where he stands, no smoke and mirrors at all and you come back with suggesting to him, as him trying to make an excuse as to why you have no value to him. wtf?

I'll tell you why you're not special .. because you fuck men without strings attached.

And then the second partial sentence of the quote above takes the cake ... just because YOU aren't to be trusted or loved, doesn't mean he is incapable.

You just think you're it ... if he doesn't want you, then something must be wrong with him?

jesusfuckingchrist ..... what morons.

Posted by Damnata

Yes, see it's all nice and fluffy that he tells you all of this shit AFTER he slept with you.

If he was that carefree and nice about everything, he would've stated straigh up he's only looking for sex. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was emotional manipulation.

What the fuck is that ^^^^^^^^^^

Obviously, I'm the only person who read this thread.