Husband, and Wife at 20 to 23

Everyone my age is getting swept away at the altar saying their I do's, and I can't help honestly wanting to have that too. My parents aren't getting any younger. My dad just retired, and my Mom is not young anymore. I want them to be there to see me walk.down the aisle toward a man I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with, but I am not ready for that.

Let alone am I ready for anybody as I get myself prepared for school, amongst other things, but I feel a bit pressured by things I see, and hear.
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Insight to from the older, and wiser to share to the younger, and learning.

If everyone your age got a divorce, you'd get one too, right?

Do you even have a man you want to marry?
Don't get married because others are doing it.
Marriage is serious and not a social club.

All those people will be divorced by 30 and trying to start over again. My advice is to wait until 30 to get married, if you can. People seem to evolve so much once they hit 30 and it becomes crystal clear then what is really important. I married at 20 and divorced at 29 with a 3 yr old. I really wish I hadn't married so young. Now I am back in school pursuing a career I wish I did in my 20s. Enjoy life and the lessons learned along the way. No rush to get married right now. Do things you won't be able to do easily once you are married with kids like traveling with friends etc.

Personal thought: I'm never going to get married. It's just a way of amassing wealth. Nothing else. If love or bonds existed, marriage doesn't need to be a part of it.

y'all 2edgy4me.
Everyone i know who has gotten married claims it's different.
good or bad it's 100 times more intense.

I am very interested in this institution.

So you're letting outside influence pressure you into something for what reason? I'm sure your parents rather you wait for the right dude than to do it just to please others.

Learn to think independently because you sound like a sheeple.

jfc ... what have you all done to the children?


Seriously .... a 23 yo has the thought process of an 8 yo?

I got married young. I was very alone as my peers were not married. I felt like a freak, like society was against us. The odds were against us.

So, I had the reverse of what you describe.

Age does not matter. Love matters.

You're only 23...what's the rush?? You want what they have, but, you have no idea what they may go through to maintain it. Trust me, it ain't all pretty. Most ppl I know who married that young, ended up divorcing later. You're starting off on the wrong foot already. Marriage is a HUGE commitment, and if you want to get married b/c everyone else is doing it, you're already headed for divorce before you even get the ring. All my sisters and most of my close friends are married, but I do not envy them one bit! It looks cute in the movies and stuff, but there's A LOT of work that goes on behind closed doors in a marriage.

How about focusing on school and rather marrying b/c you love a person and can't live without them.

Just be sure you don't marry anyone until you have a very clear idea of who they are and what you can expect from them. What are their usual behavorial patterns? Their positive and negative traits? Are they respectful with you? Are you respectful with them? Can you trust them to stay committed to you? Do they trust you? People with trust issues often try to sabotage relationships because they expect that the other person will end up hurting them anyway. Watch out for that.

You have to be able to tolerate your potential marriage partner at least 80-85% of the time. If you get annoyed 15% of the time that's pretty normal. If you find yourself irritated much more than that, it would indicate that you're in frequent disagreements and thus are not on the same page. Not being on the same page = not compatible. No matter how much you know someone *COULD* be suited to you, if they fail to live up to your fair expectations, then it's likely that they're not for you after all.

Just some things to ponder. I think that everyone should experience a few long-term relationships before they consider marrying anyone. It'll give you an idea of what to avoid in a person and what you can handle/will most benefit you (in a healthy way).