Marriage.... do you feel it's a necessity? (Page 3)

Posted by cappysweetie
i kid u not she has an aqu moon u have one to right... but she has venus trine uranus its say if ur in a relastionship u will be disapointed do u feel like that capp when ur in a deep relastionship.. if not u might not have this aspect..

hmmm .... I won't say.

Aqua moon like me too huh? Well, something went horribly wrong with her ...

LOL... it was VirgoKing!

Posted by cappysweetie
i kid u not she has an aqu moon u have one to right... but she has venus trine uranus its say if ur in a relastionship u will be disapointed do u feel like that capp when ur in a deep relastionship.. if not u might not have this aspect.. hmmm .... I won't say. Aqua moon like me too huh? Well, something went horribly wrong with her ...

well humm that sound intresting but we do have to see ur rising and how u was brought up can off through that.. but ill admit i have dated girls who cheated most have that aspect i was talking about.. others have had venus square mars or moon square venus.. but if u do have this just know u can over cum it if u really want to😉

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved

Posted by cappysweetie
i kid u not she has an aqu moon u have one to right... but she has venus trine uranus its say if ur in a relastionship u will be disapointed do u feel like that capp when ur in a deep relastionship.. if not u might not have this aspect..

hmmm .... I won't say.

Aqua moon like me too huh? Well, something went horribly wrong with her ...

LOL... it was VirgoKing!

click to expand

*singing: "I know an ol lady who swallowed a guy.... he wiggled and jiggled and ticked inside her... she swallowed the guy to make her sigh... she made a sigh and said 'oh my'... I don't know why she swallowed the guy... I bet she'll lie*

Posted by lildol

*singing: "I know an ol lady who swallowed a guy.... he wiggled and jiggled and ticked inside her... she swallowed the guy to make her sigh... she made a sigh and said 'oh my'... I don't know why she swallowed the guy... I bet she'll lie*

omg, that's great 😄

Posted by lildol

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved

Posted by cappysweetie
i kid u not she has an aqu moon u have one to right... but she has venus trine uranus its say if ur in a relastionship u will be disapointed do u feel like that capp when ur in a deep relastionship.. if not u might not have this aspect..

hmmm .... I won't say.

Aqua moon like me too huh? Well, something went horribly wrong with her ...

LOL... it was VirgoKing!

*singing: "I know an ol lady who swallowed a guy.... he wiggled and jiggled and ticked inside her... she swallowed the guy to make her sigh... she made a sigh and said 'oh my'... I don't know why she swallowed the guy... I bet she'll lie*

click to expand

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You two girls are great LOL!!!! I love the song 😄

Posted by lildol

is in a weird mood today 😄

We will blame it on your Pisces!

Honestly marriage need not exist in our time. It was intended that one would marry and have children... LOVE was never a factor.

Now people are able to chose their partners, and everything that is entailed. We no longer "date" for the purpose of child-bearing.

If I were put in the situation of marriage with someone I sincerely cared for (and he, I) I can't think why I say "no". However, marriage is not the end-all answer to permanency. This simply does not exist. Spending your time and energy looking for someone who will be loyal to you and you only forever is just crazy talk.

We are ever changing, and thus must adapt our needs and evaluate what we have to offer to others.

Posted by Nelly Bean
Honestly marriage need not exist in our time. It was intended that one would marry and have children... LOVE was never a factor.

Now people are able to chose their partners, and everything that is entailed. We no longer "date" for the purpose of child-bearing.

If I were put in the situation of marriage with someone I sincerely cared for (and he, I) I can't think why I say "no". However, marriage is not the end-all answer to permanency. This simply does not exist. Spending your time and energy looking for someone who will be loyal to you and you only forever is just crazy talk.

We are ever changing, and thus must adapt our needs and evaluate what we have to offer to others.

Having a partner for a lifetime can happen but people to lazy to maintain it, i still like marriage and its just different for many people, you may not like it but i do,i want kids and the house and all that other shit.

Posted by Jason2213
Me too.

*bows to Jason* Keep that mentality and you'll keep yourself a good woman!

I prefer a common-law relationship to a marriage, don't know why, probably because the sucess rate of marriage is low statistically and around me.

"As for my ex. He was a Taurus!! YIKES.... a BULL and a LION!!!! Nuff said!"

HA! Try a bull and a ram...talk about scary!

Posted by virgoking
Nope never since i was little till this day i think its stupid... marriage is not wat it use to be its a joke now... i know there are people who take it seriously god bless them... but u have to look at the facts alot of people don't want to work on the marriage which ever marriage needs.. and the big thing i see y men don't want to get married is bc women today do not make men feel needed.. and every man needs to feel needed no matter wat his sign is.. i can't blame women for thinking this way.. its really the womens movement they make sure to put in ur head men aint bleep and if u look on tv shows the wife is this great women and the man is an idiot that got lucky.. but there is no real need for women to get married besides boosting her ego against her unmarried friends... women now make more money than men sum times they can vote there no big need like there was back in the day.

Wow...interesting POV. I actually agree with most of this...kind of refreshing Virgo King!

Posted by sb_cap
The dream and Jason, where do you guys live? That's so sweet that you guys believe that.


OP: I have seen that it is marriage or nothing for me. I just cant take a BF-GF relationship seriously because I dont feel secure in it. I dont feel like someone who I just spend a lot more time with has a right over me in terms of my decisions in life. I can make sacrifices for who I consider family but "friends" are dispensable for me. I rather be without a relationship than be in one that the other person doesnt take me seriously. That other person is just wasting my time, is how I see it.

I know SB ... that may just be my problem too. I can't really take a guy thats just my boyfriend seriously enough. So I don't see the point in things lasting, there has to be an end.

Weird I know it is.

Posted by Pisces_Dream

I will not lie ......in my personal opinion, I think as we get older and we have had a few long term relationships, and we can become a little jaded on the subject of love ....it changes our perception of committed relationships......and our views of ourselves. It really does change us. I sometimes miss being in my twenties and younger it seemed so much easier to fall in love. In my opinion when we are in our twenties we jump into love with both feet, eager, hopeful, and excited. When we get into our thirties we have had a few relationships and probably even had our heart broken a few times, we begin to see relationships more cautiously, and we keep our hearts a little closer to ourselves. No matter who you are, when you have a relationship that devistates you, and even when you get over it .....it still changes you. I sometimes like dating younger men for this exact reason ......I think men are way worse than women. If I meet a guy who is older and has never been married ......that is a huge red flag for me to enter with caution....he has jaded written all over him. lol With younger men it is usually more carefree. I do prefer men my age or older though. It seems they can relate to life experiences ....you know growing up with similar interest.

As for your question to the original post .....I am okay if I don't ever get married again. Marriage to me does not solidify your love for a person. Would I like to have a committed love relationship and cohabitation .....of course I would, who wouldn't? Marriage for me ......would have to be a HUGE step before I take that leap again. I mean I better have one of those relationships that make you sick ....you know where the guy is kissing the feet the ground you walk on. lolPD

I agree with most of this and after 4 years felt I would never want to marry again... ever...but lately I'm realising that just because the first didnt work doesnt mean that there is NO hope, and I know that if there should be another I feel quite strongly that it will, this time, be for life. I just feel really confident in what I would except as a marriage partner next time round. I have my bucket list with the "def has to have" and the "would like but not necessary" and if I found that person and they asked, I'd be there. However if i dont then I will still live my life to the full and be just as happy.


Honestly I think mar

Honestly I think marriage is over rated. HA ....maybe that is the jadedness in me talking. lol

I've never thought that marriage is over rated, people use the excuse that it is just a piece of paper but I know with me it is a binding contract that you sign with someone that has to be honored. Personally, only when that contract is broken in some form by one party or the other is there an option to get out. This is how seriously I look at it anyway.

Didn't read anything, not only the OP ... just answering the title


Marriage.... do you feel it's a necessity?


No, and I also feel that if marriage is in existence, then it needs to be a contract .... say, a two-year contract.

**** only


should read even .. not even the OP

I was looking back through our posts... I have to admit, my song was pretty creative LMFAO

Posted by sweethearts
Honestly I think marriage is over rated. HA ....maybe that is the jadedness in me talking. lol

I've never thought that marriage is over rated, people use the excuse that it is just a piece of paper but I know with me it is a binding contract that you sign with someone that has to be honored. Personally, only when that contract is broken in some form by one party or the other is there an option to get out. This is how seriously I look at it anyway.

I don't think it is over rated when it happens with the right person .....it is over rated for something I must have in my life to feel complete. Does that make sense? I TOTALLY respect the sanctuary of marriage. I respect it so much that it irritates me to no end when married men are hitting on me. I just don't think it is the end of all of every relationships. People should not get married if they can't keep their peter piper in their pants or their cookie in their panties. 🙂 I dispise infidelity ....because that person is only seeking for selfish gain ....not caring about either person they are with and their feelings.

PD

Posted by ramfishtwins
"As for my ex. He was a Taurus!! YIKES.... a BULL and a LION!!!! Nuff said!"

HA! Try a bull and a ram...talk about scary!

My ex was a Taurus too Ram....lol I have an Aries moon too. lol Can we say.......buttttting heads!! lol

PD

Posted by ramfishtwins

Posted by virgoking
Nope never since i was little till this day i think its stupid... marriage is not wat it use to be its a joke now... i know there are people who take it seriously god bless them... but u have to look at the facts alot of people don't want to work on the marriage which ever marriage needs.. and the big thing i see y men don't want to get married is bc women today do not make men feel needed.. and every man needs to feel needed no matter wat his sign is.. i can't blame women for thinking this way.. its really the womens movement they make sure to put in ur head men aint bleep and if u look on tv shows the wife is this great women and the man is an idiot that got lucky.. but there is no real need for women to get married besides boosting her ego against her unmarried friends... women now make more money than men sum times they can vote there no big need like there was back in the day.

Wow...interesting POV. I actually agree with most of this...kind of refreshing Virgo King!

click to expand

Yeah me too actually.

Wow! Thanks for all your posts! It's so interesting reading peoples thoughts on the subject matter. There are so many different points of view and each and every one is great!

well for me marriage is wonderful....maybe because ive been in and out of relationships most of my life....i married for the first at age 38...

i think my husband and i came in each other lives at the right time....we were both lonely and looking to settle down and start a family....he has strong beliefs in marriage and family...which is a rare trait nowadays. His parents have been married for 45 years and he always envied how long his parents have been together and have always wanted to the same.

Marriage is wonderful but it is hard work...but as long as you are committed and loyal to your significant other it can work.

Posted by Pisces_Dream

Posted by ramfishtwins
"As for my ex. He was a Taurus!! YIKES.... a BULL and a LION!!!! Nuff said!"

HA! Try a bull and a ram...talk about scary!

My ex was a Taurus too Ram....lol I have an Aries moon too. lol Can we say.......buttttting heads!! lol

PD

click to expand

No doubt! We are pretty much complete opposites in all we do...it's gggrrrreeeaattt!!

Posted by dward417
well for me marriage is wonderful....maybe because ive been in and out of relationships most of my life....i married for the first at age 38...

i think my husband and i came in each other lives at the right time....we were both lonely and looking to settle down and start a family....he has strong beliefs in marriage and family...which is a rare trait nowadays. His parents have been married for 45 years and he always envied how long his parents have been together and have always wanted to the same.

Marriage is wonderful but it is hard work...but as long as you are committed and loyal to your significant other it can work.

I tell all my young friends to wait until they are in their 30's. I honestly think marriages have a greater chance at success if the couple has matured. Really in your 20's one is still trying to discover who they are, what they want in life and what they are all about. Usually what happens is people marry too young ....and all of a sudden 30's hit and bam .....who are you ....who am I ......geee I really don't want what you want. Does that make sense.

Congrats Dward!!! I commend you for playing it right. He sounds like a great guy ....and you both knew exactly what you wanted in a relationship. It sounds like a great match!! 🙂

PD

thanks pd...excellent post!

Totally agree with you PD...but then its because it's the way I learnt and some of us have to learn the hard way!

Another factor is that our biological clocks are ticking so in order to have a family, most want 2-4 kids, the idea of doing this in your 30's can almost be too late. Particularly when it's riskier to have children after 35. In effect you're damned if you do and damned i you dont!

Posted by sweethearts
Totally agree with you PD...but then its because it's the way I learnt and some of us have to learn the hard way!

Another factor is that our biological clocks are ticking so in order to have a family, most want 2-4 kids, the idea of doing this in your 30's can almost be too late. Particularly when it's riskier to have children after 35. In effect you're damned if you do and damned i you dont!

That is true SH. I had to learn that way too.

I will tell you my story:

When I was married to my ex husband ....I was so depressed through the entire marraige and I could never figure out why. Don't get me wrong we did share some blissful moments but they were few. The relationship stifled me so much and I really lost myself. When I got a divorced I was selling items from my home at a garage sell getting ready to put our house up for sale. My friends were laughing at me because the clothes I used to wear looked like they belonged to some frumpy old maid. lol I kid you not ....*embarrassed look* I had freaking sweaters with Candy Korn, Christmas sweaters. It was than that I made the realization .....I had turned into my ex-husbands mom. LOL I kid you not .....I was freaking Betty Crocker. It was the magical year of turning 30 when I became an avid runner, dropped all kinds of weight, started wearing clothes that were really my style . I looked HAWT!!! 😛 It was the year I found myself again. My ex husband was not a bad man, he actually is a very good man, but the wrong man for me. We did not bring out the best in one another or really have parallel ideals in life. He was completely content with me being his mother. It was when I became myself he did not like so much any more.

So this chicky hung up her candy corn sweater for diva style . 😛

PD

BTW - I don't want to make my life sound glamorous after divorce, because it has been a struggle to be a single mom, and be a sole provider. I wouldn't trade it for the world, because I don't feel like I am the walking dead (staying in a marriage that stifled me so much). I also feel like I am living my truth. I have the challege of making a career of what I want and desire while trying to making ends meet, but some how it has all worked out. Dating as a single mom can also be challenging. My children have only met one person I have dated. It was my ex-pisces bf (3 yrs) who end up being worse than my ex-husband. *sigh* I know you ladies that are 30 can relate ....the great guys seemed to be married. The single men our age have a history and some cargo ...sometimes longer than ours. lol

I dunno.....for me I have quit looking for "the right one". I haved learned to embrace moment to moment whether dating someone or not. My life is really about me and my kids .....and if I meet someone great along the way ....great ....if not ....I am still on to that target with or without a man.

So that is why I tell my younger girlfriends to wait for marriage ...no need to rush.

Carp Diam!!
PD

I'm with you PD although my story completely different, it is the same where I lost myself and wasnt happy just being his wife, everything he wanted...Now I am the real me and very happy. My fear is that it will happen again with a new realtionship and I know it is me that transforms to their desires...but hopefully with maturity I will hold on to myself. I'm also conscious of the fact that I had no real friends because they made a choice and choose to support him...now I have a load of new friends that know and love me and I wont let them go if I were to meet someone else.

Congrats on finding yourself again SH!! I ditto your same sentiment. I fear the same thing happening again. I think most of my fear is finding someone again who does not embrace the whole me a 100% . So many men will embrace ....ooo lalala she is a sex diva, hawt bod, fun, sweet.......but I am very head strong, independent, emotionally deep and sometimes complex, intellectually challenging.....Yeah in all my relationships I don't back down these sides and sometimes it may be too much for them to handle. I laugh at my ex-boyfriend (pisces) because he said I want an "independent woman" .....that is a real woman to me. So he got it ......he could not handle it. LOL His way of trying to control me, was to emotionally try to banter me down. To me ...that is not a real man. Perhaps that is why he thought he wanted a "real independent woman". After my divorce I think I was more optimistic in future relations ....but this last ex bf really did a number. So maybe I have huge walls up, and that is why I live on the surface of my relations. I have to admit I don't stick around very long if I sense any discord. So in a sense maybe PD is carrying a bit more cargo from the ex bf. *sigh*

PD

Oh PD and SH... thank you for sharing your stories here! I can tell you I so relate to so much of it as well. I too lost myself in my marriage. One thing that hit home really hard while I was going through my divorce was one day when I was on the phone with my Mom during the point at which I had decided that it was time to move on from the relationship and had accepted that I was over it....... I was laughing and cutting up with her and she suddenly said..... "wow, there you are..... I haven't heard you in years" I was like.... wtf? It was really that bad wasnt it? It was then that I realized that I had become this boring, miserable, wall flower..... SO NOT ME!!!! I am vibrant, extroverted & full of zest when I am the REAL me! I think a lot of women do that. We tend to adapt to our surroundings just to try and make it work and before we know it... we are lost.

And PD... as for your ex Pisces bf... I too have one of those and he was the first person I opened up too completely ... and he said the same... I want an independent woman... blah blah.... and that is what he got. I live my own life, I do my own thing, I have tons of friends and an active social calendar and I am NEVER at a loss for anything to do. In the end, he couldnt handle it either. But, we are still very close and he still contacts me through text and phone EVERY single day. I too have huge walls up... I let them down for Mr. Pisces and he let his down for me.... we totally dove into one another and I ended up getting hurt (though it would not appear so to him - Aqua rising here). So, yes I find myself VERY guarded and the new VirGuy is the recipient of the Great Wall of China that I've got going on!!! But, I will slowly lower it as time goes by.

And SH... good for you on the new friends. I myself was lucky... I had GREAT friends to support me and without them I dont know how I wouldve made it through. I never wanted my friends to NOT support either of us. I urged them to remain friends with him and to support him as well and they did. He was the one that alienated himself from them. Dont ever let your friends go NO matter who you meet. You never know when you will need them again. A support system is a must when you are going through a break up!

Funny thing about finding yourself is..... when you do.... everyone that you lost yourself in wants you back! Which tells me that the REAL YOU is always the BEST YOU!

Posted by Pisces_Dream
Congrats on finding yourself again SH!! I ditto your same sentiment. I fear the same thing happening again. I think most of my fear is finding someone again who does not embrace the whole me a 100% . So many men will embrace ....ooo lalala she is a sex diva, hawt bod, fun, sweet.......but I am very head strong, independent, emotionally deep and sometimes complex, intellectually challenging.....Yeah in all my relationships I don't back down these sides and sometimes it may be too much for them to handle. I laugh at my ex-boyfriend (pisces) because he said I want an "independent woman" .....that is a real woman to me. So he got it ......he could not handle it. LOL His way of trying to control me, was to emotionally try to banter me down. To me ...that is not a real man. Perhaps that is why he thought he wanted a "real independent woman". After my divorce I think I was more optimistic in future relations ....but this last ex bf really did a number. So maybe I have huge walls up, and that is why I live on the surface of my relations. I have to admit I don't stick around very long if I sense any discord. So in a sense maybe PD is carrying a bit more cargo from the ex bf. *sigh*

PD

pd you have a great outlook on life...I really admire you. I know being a single parent isnt easy...i was one for 30 years...it was all about my 3 kids...I became so dependent no man could handle me. Now my 2 of my kids are adults I can concentrate on myself and my marriage

i mean a single mom for 20 years.....gosh...it it was 30 i would have had my first at 8...LOL

This has been so great to hear all your stories, and so refreshing to hear some parallels.

Dward417 - Thank you for the nice compliment!!!

LeoLady - All we can do is be ourselves in relations. I am sure in time that great wall of china will disapate.....and if he is the right one he will be patient with you during this time. I too had a great support network of friends during my divorce and still do. I will say this much, I was your every day church lady while married ....I mean I volunteered for everything from lay ministry and sunday school. I will say this much when I got divorced my church family pretty much turned their nose at me. It has changed my view on religion. I will never step foot in a christian church ever again. Those my friend ....were not real friends.

SH - It sounds like you have found your real friend my dear. Those are the ones that will be with you through thick and thin. When in divorce we learn real fast who are our real friends.

My favorite Sex and the City quote:

—Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.?? 🙂

I have to boogie to the massage clinic. It has been so refreshing to hear all your stories. I think Sweethearts, LeoLady, and Dward have become my new favorite dxp posters. 🙂

Carp Diam Ladies!!!

PD

Posted by Clair De Lune


Not at all. That's not to say I wont want to at some point in the future.

Well, i'd love to go far back in time and have a wedding in a huge, dark and looming medieval castle with Tigers Eye floors and Lapis Lazuli feasting tables, just for the sake of it. Refilling our chalices with the eternal home made beer from age old barrels. Warriors randomly slaying each other in the woods a couple of miles away.

*Scratches head*, went on a bit there, I think. Conclusion: no.

Don't forget the minstrels and the WENCHES. Need the wenches!

I don't think marriage is a necessity, but it makes things easier if a couple has children. No one has to pay child support that way. Also, there are some financial benefits, like joint insurance in some areas. I'm not really looking into getting married in the future, because I don't need a flashy ring or a lavish wedding to let everyone know I want to be with someone. Though perhaps I should invest in some type a ring so I wouldn't have to explain as much...

Also, I'm against the idea of getting pre-nups because it's like people already expect the marriage to turn sour before it even really begins.