LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts
Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Narcissists and embarassment (Page 3)
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Posted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by Aqua__
Your mum does not sound like a narcissist. If she was, it would not be your photo she would be showing around, but her own.
Narcissists evolve everything around themselves and they do put down others, but not in the ways you described. Narcissistic abuse is actually a real thing and what you’ve written sounds more like a mother who loves her child, but might not be the best at expressing it.
Parents and family members have been known for being embarrassing when it comes to baby photos and I know it’s really annoying, but it’s normal. If you don’t like it, then you’re doing the right thing by expressing your concern.
It’s getting annoying when everyone here claims to know what a narcissist is but doesn’t. I have done the research and narcissistic parents are a totally different realm of narcissism from what people know as typical narcissism. There’s a reddit forum dedicated to children of narcissists. I have spent years learning about it and experiencing it so I don’t know why everyone is sitting on their throne of “you know nothing but I know everything”.
Reddit is not a reliable source of information though...
More reliable than a bunch of dxpers coming at me like “you know nothing how dare you use that word.” The point is everyone there has actual experiences that are common among children of narcissists, they are all very aware of things most of you are merely speculating about. They look at reliable sources of information.
Such as...
I know it’s hard to understand people outside of dxpland try to gain insight into concepts that interest or burden them. There are books on the subject written by phds. Not very hard to find.
Obviously.
I’m asking you what other sources besides a reddit thread lead you to believe she’s a narcissist.
The books. It becomes very obvious after reading. Not easy to explain to people who don’t experience it on a daily basis, but children of narcissists often have symptoms similar to ptsd. The interaction causes a lack of security, creates codependency as a result of the parent having zero boundaries. I don’t know why you want me to tell you the sources when they are out there. You want a reading list?
I’d love to get one other source from you than reddit and books.
A therapist? Do you know that narcissists are the least likeliest people to ever go to a therapist or a psychiatrist and get diagnosed? It’s pretty much undiagnosable for them because the narcissists will lie through their teeth.
So your therapist labeled your mom a narcissist? Did you guys do a group sesh or was it just based on your perspective on things.
No, I meant that it wouldn’t help as a source. She would never go. So what kinda source are you looking for? The research is out there, so what?
I’m asking what other sources, aside from reddit, have led YOU to believe she’s a narcissist
And i’m Asking what you are expecting to hear? What magical source is there besides psychological research that is presented in the form of text? I have my experiences and the experiences of other people who have dealt with the same thing.click to expand
That you read about on reddit....
Maybe you should speak to a therapist about all that. Dxp can't give you the advice and help you seek.
My mom does that same thing. Yeah it’s like living through you or objectifying. It’s weird. I tell her to shut up lol
Posted by tctaap
I only read to page 3 but I get you @OP. My mother was a narcissist and if you read the material you know that children of narcissistic parents can have tendencies as well since their patterns are the ones that shaped and molded us. I have to watch myself and I also see it in my sister. I also saw it in a very close friend of many years and wondered about the fact that in the material it also states that we tend to be drawn toward other narcissistic partners, friends, people, etc. at least initially because their aura is, in a way, familiar. I get you and feel for anyone who has a loved one with this condition. I ended up breaking all contact with my mother. What is sad to me is that I feel like I never had a mother figure ... do you also feel like that ? like there isn't a close bond between you ?
Yes, she wasn’t a mother. I had other mother figures, luckily. And yes, being drawn to narcissistic partners is a reality for me because I can’t shake off the codependency. My high school friends were like that so I quickly learned I needed to choose friends wisely from then on. When I was dating my husband, before I ever even mentioned my mother, he told me he had been evaluated as a requirement for his job and the results came out that he has mild narcissism or tendencies. I was like wow go figure. It was easy to spot them - moving too fast in the relationship, not having respect for my own time and guilt tripping me into leaving my life behind for him. We fought about it day in and day out for a while but I have accepted that he isn’t a full on narcissist and he won’t emotionally abuse me the way my mom did.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by Aqua__
Your mum does not sound like a narcissist. If she was, it would not be your photo she would be showing around, but her own.
Narcissists evolve everything around themselves and they do put down others, but not in the ways you described. Narcissistic abuse is actually a real thing and what you’ve written sounds more like a mother who loves her child, but might not be the best at expressing it.
Parents and family members have been known for being embarrassing when it comes to baby photos and I know it’s really annoying, but it’s normal. If you don’t like it, then you’re doing the right thing by expressing your concern.
It’s getting annoying when everyone here claims to know what a narcissist is but doesn’t. I have done the research and narcissistic parents are a totally different realm of narcissism from what people know as typical narcissism. There’s a reddit forum dedicated to children of narcissists. I have spent years learning about it and experiencing it so I don’t know why everyone is sitting on their throne of “you know nothing but I know everything”.
Reddit is not a reliable source of information though...
More reliable than a bunch of dxpers coming at me like “you know nothing how dare you use that word.” The point is everyone there has actual experiences that are common among children of narcissists, they are all very aware of things most of you are merely speculating about. They look at reliable sources of information.
Such as...
I know it’s hard to understand people outside of dxpland try to gain insight into concepts that interest or burden them. There are books on the subject written by phds. Not very hard to find.
Obviously.
I’m asking you what other sources besides a reddit thread lead you to believe she’s a narcissist.
The books. It becomes very obvious after reading. Not easy to explain to people who don’t experience it on a daily basis, but children of narcissists often have symptoms similar to ptsd. The interaction causes a lack of security, creates codependency as a result of the parent having zero boundaries. I don’t know why you want me to tell you the sources when they are out there. You want a reading list?
I’d love to get one other source from you than reddit and books.
A therapist? Do you know that narcissists are the least likeliest people to ever go to a therapist or a psychiatrist and get diagnosed? It’s pretty much undiagnosable for them because the narcissists will lie through their teeth.
So your therapist labeled your mom a narcissist? Did you guys do a group sesh or was it just based on your perspective on things.
No, I meant that it wouldn’t help as a source. She would never go. So what kinda source are you looking for? The research is out there, so what?
I’m asking what other sources, aside from reddit, have led YOU to believe she’s a narcissist
And i’m Asking what you are expecting to hear? What magical source is there besides psychological research that is presented in the form of text? I have my experiences and the experiences of other people who have dealt with the same thing.
That you read about on reddit....
Maybe you should speak to a therapist about all that. Dxp can't give you the advice and help you seek.click to expand
I just said I read the books, at least 3 times. you are selectively reading what I say and it’s really condescending. I was letting off steam like everyone does here because in reality therapists are hit or miss and it’s not worth the trouble anymore. But yeah, big mistake thinking dxp could handle a subject like this.
Posted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by Aqua__
Your mum does not sound like a narcissist. If she was, it would not be your photo she would be showing around, but her own.
Narcissists evolve everything around themselves and they do put down others, but not in the ways you described. Narcissistic abuse is actually a real thing and what you’ve written sounds more like a mother who loves her child, but might not be the best at expressing it.
Parents and family members have been known for being embarrassing when it comes to baby photos and I know it’s really annoying, but it’s normal. If you don’t like it, then you’re doing the right thing by expressing your concern.
It’s getting annoying when everyone here claims to know what a narcissist is but doesn’t. I have done the research and narcissistic parents are a totally different realm of narcissism from what people know as typical narcissism. There’s a reddit forum dedicated to children of narcissists. I have spent years learning about it and experiencing it so I don’t know why everyone is sitting on their throne of “you know nothing but I know everything”.
Reddit is not a reliable source of information though...
More reliable than a bunch of dxpers coming at me like “you know nothing how dare you use that word.” The point is everyone there has actual experiences that are common among children of narcissists, they are all very aware of things most of you are merely speculating about. They look at reliable sources of information.
Such as...
I know it’s hard to understand people outside of dxpland try to gain insight into concepts that interest or burden them. There are books on the subject written by phds. Not very hard to find.
Obviously.
I’m asking you what other sources besides a reddit thread lead you to believe she’s a narcissist.
The books. It becomes very obvious after reading. Not easy to explain to people who don’t experience it on a daily basis, but children of narcissists often have symptoms similar to ptsd. The interaction causes a lack of security, creates codependency as a result of the parent having zero boundaries. I don’t know why you want me to tell you the sources when they are out there. You want a reading list?
I’d love to get one other source from you than reddit and books.
A therapist? Do you know that narcissists are the least likeliest people to ever go to a therapist or a psychiatrist and get diagnosed? It’s pretty much undiagnosable for them because the narcissists will lie through their teeth.
So your therapist labeled your mom a narcissist? Did you guys do a group sesh or was it just based on your perspective on things.
No, I meant that it wouldn’t help as a source. She would never go. So what kinda source are you looking for? The research is out there, so what?
I’m asking what other sources, aside from reddit, have led YOU to believe she’s a narcissist
And i’m Asking what you are expecting to hear? What magical source is there besides psychological research that is presented in the form of text? I have my experiences and the experiences of other people who have dealt with the same thing.
That you read about on reddit....
Maybe you should speak to a therapist about all that. Dxp can't give you the advice and help you seek.
I just said I read the books, at least 3 times. you are selectively reading what I say and it’s really condescending. I was letting off steam like everyone does here because in reality therapists are hit or miss and it’s not worth the trouble anymore. But yeah, big mistake thinking dxp could handle a subject like this.click to expand
Dude. I haven't been condescending but I'm about to be.
I asked you like a million times specifically what books you read. You couldn't list a single one. You had plenty of time to google 'books on narcissism' and copy and paste but instead played dumb.
Posted by Sag898
My mom does that same thing. Yeah it’s like living through you or objectifying. It’s weird. I tell her to shut up lol
All parents do. Its why they have kids, its their 'second chance' at life.
This hasn’t even been an issue for a while since I rarely have contact with her now. But she made me visit her with the excuse that she had some of my belongings from ages ago. Fuck Venus retro
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by Aqua__
Your mum does not sound like a narcissist. If she was, it would not be your photo she would be showing around, but her own.
Narcissists evolve everything around themselves and they do put down others, but not in the ways you described. Narcissistic abuse is actually a real thing and what you’ve written sounds more like a mother who loves her child, but might not be the best at expressing it.
Parents and family members have been known for being embarrassing when it comes to baby photos and I know it’s really annoying, but it’s normal. If you don’t like it, then you’re doing the right thing by expressing your concern.
It’s getting annoying when everyone here claims to know what a narcissist is but doesn’t. I have done the research and narcissistic parents are a totally different realm of narcissism from what people know as typical narcissism. There’s a reddit forum dedicated to children of narcissists. I have spent years learning about it and experiencing it so I don’t know why everyone is sitting on their throne of “you know nothing but I know everything”.
Reddit is not a reliable source of information though...
More reliable than a bunch of dxpers coming at me like “you know nothing how dare you use that word.” The point is everyone there has actual experiences that are common among children of narcissists, they are all very aware of things most of you are merely speculating about. They look at reliable sources of information.
Such as...
I know it’s hard to understand people outside of dxpland try to gain insight into concepts that interest or burden them. There are books on the subject written by phds. Not very hard to find.
Obviously.
I’m asking you what other sources besides a reddit thread lead you to believe she’s a narcissist.
The books. It becomes very obvious after reading. Not easy to explain to people who don’t experience it on a daily basis, but children of narcissists often have symptoms similar to ptsd. The interaction causes a lack of security, creates codependency as a result of the parent having zero boundaries. I don’t know why you want me to tell you the sources when they are out there. You want a reading list?
I’d love to get one other source from you than reddit and books.
A therapist? Do you know that narcissists are the least likeliest people to ever go to a therapist or a psychiatrist and get diagnosed? It’s pretty much undiagnosable for them because the narcissists will lie through their teeth.
So your therapist labeled your mom a narcissist? Did you guys do a group sesh or was it just based on your perspective on things.
No, I meant that it wouldn’t help as a source. She would never go. So what kinda source are you looking for? The research is out there, so what?
I’m asking what other sources, aside from reddit, have led YOU to believe she’s a narcissist
And i’m Asking what you are expecting to hear? What magical source is there besides psychological research that is presented in the form of text? I have my experiences and the experiences of other people who have dealt with the same thing.
That you read about on reddit....
Maybe you should speak to a therapist about all that. Dxp can't give you the advice and help you seek.
I just said I read the books, at least 3 times. you are selectively reading what I say and it’s really condescending. I was letting off steam like everyone does here because in reality therapists are hit or miss and it’s not worth the trouble anymore. But yeah, big mistake thinking dxp could handle a subject like this.
Dude. I haven't been condescending but I'm about to be.
I asked you like a million times specifically what books you read. You couldn't list a single one. You had plenty of time to google 'books on narcissism' and copy and paste but instead played dumb.
click to expand
Did u not have your coffee yet? I specifically asked you if you wanted a reading list. Your response was, what other sources do I have besides books and reddit. You usually sound somewhat intelligent so I don’t know what’s going on with you.
Children of the Self Absorbed is one
Disarming the Narcissist is another. It’s been a while since I read about it, but those are what I remember reading.
Posted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by Aqua__
Your mum does not sound like a narcissist. If she was, it would not be your photo she would be showing around, but her own.
Narcissists evolve everything around themselves and they do put down others, but not in the ways you described. Narcissistic abuse is actually a real thing and what you’ve written sounds more like a mother who loves her child, but might not be the best at expressing it.
Parents and family members have been known for being embarrassing when it comes to baby photos and I know it’s really annoying, but it’s normal. If you don’t like it, then you’re doing the right thing by expressing your concern.
It’s getting annoying when everyone here claims to know what a narcissist is but doesn’t. I have done the research and narcissistic parents are a totally different realm of narcissism from what people know as typical narcissism. There’s a reddit forum dedicated to children of narcissists. I have spent years learning about it and experiencing it so I don’t know why everyone is sitting on their throne of “you know nothing but I know everything”.
Reddit is not a reliable source of information though...
More reliable than a bunch of dxpers coming at me like “you know nothing how dare you use that word.” The point is everyone there has actual experiences that are common among children of narcissists, they are all very aware of things most of you are merely speculating about. They look at reliable sources of information.
Such as...
I know it’s hard to understand people outside of dxpland try to gain insight into concepts that interest or burden them. There are books on the subject written by phds. Not very hard to find.
Obviously.
I’m asking you what other sources besides a reddit thread lead you to believe she’s a narcissist.
The books. It becomes very obvious after reading. Not easy to explain to people who don’t experience it on a daily basis, but children of narcissists often have symptoms similar to ptsd. The interaction causes a lack of security, creates codependency as a result of the parent having zero boundaries. I don’t know why you want me to tell you the sources when they are out there. You want a reading list?
I’d love to get one other source from you than reddit and books.
A therapist? Do you know that narcissists are the least likeliest people to ever go to a therapist or a psychiatrist and get diagnosed? It’s pretty much undiagnosable for them because the narcissists will lie through their teeth.
So your therapist labeled your mom a narcissist? Did you guys do a group sesh or was it just based on your perspective on things.
No, I meant that it wouldn’t help as a source. She would never go. So what kinda source are you looking for? The research is out there, so what?
I’m asking what other sources, aside from reddit, have led YOU to believe she’s a narcissist
And i’m Asking what you are expecting to hear? What magical source is there besides psychological research that is presented in the form of text? I have my experiences and the experiences of other people who have dealt with the same thing.
That you read about on reddit....
Maybe you should speak to a therapist about all that. Dxp can't give you the advice and help you seek.
I just said I read the books, at least 3 times. you are selectively reading what I say and it’s really condescending. I was letting off steam like everyone does here because in reality therapists are hit or miss and it’s not worth the trouble anymore. But yeah, big mistake thinking dxp could handle a subject like this.
Dude. I haven't been condescending but I'm about to be.
I asked you like a million times specifically what books you read. You couldn't list a single one. You had plenty of time to google 'books on narcissism' and copy and paste but instead played dumb.
Did u not have your coffee yet? I specifically asked you if you wanted a reading list. Your response was, what other sources do I have besides books and reddit. You usually sound somewhat intelligent so I don’t know what’s going on with you.
Children of the Self Absorbed is one
Disarming the Narcissist is another. It’s been a while since I read about it, but those are what I remember reading.click to expand
So when you read these resources did they suggest to stay in contact with the narcissist? Or cut them out of your life?
Ps: I'm on my 2nd cup of dirty chai with oat milk. The oat milk makes all the difference you know.
Posted by BlueVelvet
This hasn’t even been an issue for a while since I rarely have contact with her now. But she made me visit her with the excuse that she had some of my belongings from ages ago. Fuck Venus retro
So just take this incident as confirmation of what you've always known to be true. Some things never change.
I got my own dose of this when a family member reached out over venus retro and I was actually in a softer mindset and entertained their bullshit until certain familiar patterns showed up again.
You should clearly and unemotionally express to your mother what issues you have with her (maybe by letter/email). And then let her know that unless things change its not healthy for you to have her in your life.
Thing is she's older now and prolly wishes she'd done things differently. If you have kids would you let her be a part of their life? How does your husband feel about all of this??
Posted by BlueVelvetPosted by tctaap
I only read to page 3 but I get you @OP. My mother was a narcissist and if you read the material you know that children of narcissistic parents can have tendencies as well since their patterns are the ones that shaped and molded us. I have to watch myself and I also see it in my sister. I also saw it in a very close friend of many years and wondered about the fact that in the material it also states that we tend to be drawn toward other narcissistic partners, friends, people, etc. at least initially because their aura is, in a way, familiar. I get you and feel for anyone who has a loved one with this condition. I ended up breaking all contact with my mother. What is sad to me is that I feel like I never had a mother figure ... do you also feel like that ? like there isn't a close bond between you ?
Yes, she wasn’t a mother. I had other mother figures, luckily. And yes, being drawn to narcissistic partners is a reality for me because I can’t shake off the codependency. My high school friends were like that so I quickly learned I needed to choose friends wisely from then on. When I was dating my husband, before I ever even mentioned my mother, he told me he had been evaluated as a requirement for his job and the results came out that he has mild narcissism or tendencies. I was like wow go figure. It was easy to spot them - moving too fast in the relationship, not having respect for my own time and guilt tripping me into leaving my life behind for him. We fought about it day in and day out for a while but I have accepted that he isn’t a full on narcissist and he won’t emotionally abuse me the way my mom did.click to expand
Sounds good. I spent many years studying with self help books and therapists. I still find the subject fascinating. I had so many unanswered questions as a child. Throughout life, I tended to stay away from those type of people because they gave me ptsd. It got better as I got older. Now I try different ways to mess with them so they stay away from me lol.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvetPosted by Aqua__
Your mum does not sound like a narcissist. If she was, it would not be your photo she would be showing around, but her own.
Narcissists evolve everything around themselves and they do put down others, but not in the ways you described. Narcissistic abuse is actually a real thing and what you’ve written sounds more like a mother who loves her child, but might not be the best at expressing it.
Parents and family members have been known for being embarrassing when it comes to baby photos and I know it’s really annoying, but it’s normal. If you don’t like it, then you’re doing the right thing by expressing your concern.
It’s getting annoying when everyone here claims to know what a narcissist is but doesn’t. I have done the research and narcissistic parents are a totally different realm of narcissism from what people know as typical narcissism. There’s a reddit forum dedicated to children of narcissists. I have spent years learning about it and experiencing it so I don’t know why everyone is sitting on their throne of “you know nothing but I know everything”.
Reddit is not a reliable source of information though...
More reliable than a bunch of dxpers coming at me like “you know nothing how dare you use that word.” The point is everyone there has actual experiences that are common among children of narcissists, they are all very aware of things most of you are merely speculating about. They look at reliable sources of information.
Such as...
I know it’s hard to understand people outside of dxpland try to gain insight into concepts that interest or burden them. There are books on the subject written by phds. Not very hard to find.
Obviously.
I’m asking you what other sources besides a reddit thread lead you to believe she’s a narcissist.
The books. It becomes very obvious after reading. Not easy to explain to people who don’t experience it on a daily basis, but children of narcissists often have symptoms similar to ptsd. The interaction causes a lack of security, creates codependency as a result of the parent having zero boundaries. I don’t know why you want me to tell you the sources when they are out there. You want a reading list?
I’d love to get one other source from you than reddit and books.
A therapist? Do you know that narcissists are the least likeliest people to ever go to a therapist or a psychiatrist and get diagnosed? It’s pretty much undiagnosable for them because the narcissists will lie through their teeth.
So your therapist labeled your mom a narcissist? Did you guys do a group sesh or was it just based on your perspective on things.
No, I meant that it wouldn’t help as a source. She would never go. So what kinda source are you looking for? The research is out there, so what?
I’m asking what other sources, aside from reddit, have led YOU to believe she’s a narcissist
And i’m Asking what you are expecting to hear? What magical source is there besides psychological research that is presented in the form of text? I have my experiences and the experiences of other people who have dealt with the same thing.
That you read about on reddit....
Maybe you should speak to a therapist about all that. Dxp can't give you the advice and help you seek.
I just said I read the books, at least 3 times. you are selectively reading what I say and it’s really condescending. I was letting off steam like everyone does here because in reality therapists are hit or miss and it’s not worth the trouble anymore. But yeah, big mistake thinking dxp could handle a subject like this.
Dude. I haven't been condescending but I'm about to be.
I asked you like a million times specifically what books you read. You couldn't list a single one. You had plenty of time to google 'books on narcissism' and copy and paste but instead played dumb.
Did u not have your coffee yet? I specifically asked you if you wanted a reading list. Your response was, what other sources do I have besides books and reddit. You usually sound somewhat intelligent so I don’t know what’s going on with you.
Children of the Self Absorbed is one
Disarming the Narcissist is another. It’s been a while since I read about it, but those are what I remember reading.
So when you read these resources did they suggest to stay in contact with the narcissist? Or cut them out of your life?click to expand
I think Disarming the Narcissist was more about finding methods to make sure they don’t hurt you, ways to call them out and put the mirror on them. I don’t know that it adressed cutting them out because that would probably be a shitty thing to write in a book. I don’t remember though. In actual experience, yes, cutting them out was the only thing that worked.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvet
This hasn’t even been an issue for a while since I rarely have contact with her now. But she made me visit her with the excuse that she had some of my belongings from ages ago. Fuck Venus retro
So just take this incident as confirmation of what you've always known to be true. Some things never change.
I got my own dose of this when a family member reached out over venus retro and I was actually in a softer mindset and entertained their bullshit until certain familiar patterns showed up again.
You should clearly and unemotionally express to your mother what issues you have with her (maybe by letter/email). And then let her know that unless things change its not healthy for you to have her in your life.
Thing is she's older now and prolly wishes she'd done things differently. If you have kids would you let her be a part of their life? How does your husband feel about all of this??
click to expand
My husband can’t stand her but tolerates her if it’s a one day thing. A letter/email would not work. I have tried bringing it up to her and she acts like a petulant child. Everyone who knows her has to baby her to get along with her. She is a character. She is never babysitting my child or spending more than a day with her at a time.
I had to pull a disappearing act on her for five years after college for it to even register that she needed to start leaving me alone.
Posted by BlueVelvetPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by BlueVelvet
This hasn’t even been an issue for a while since I rarely have contact with her now. But she made me visit her with the excuse that she had some of my belongings from ages ago. Fuck Venus retro
So just take this incident as confirmation of what you've always known to be true. Some things never change.
I got my own dose of this when a family member reached out over venus retro and I was actually in a softer mindset and entertained their bullshit until certain familiar patterns showed up again.
You should clearly and unemotionally express to your mother what issues you have with her (maybe by letter/email). And then let her know that unless things change its not healthy for you to have her in your life.
Thing is she's older now and prolly wishes she'd done things differently. If you have kids would you let her be a part of their life? How does your husband feel about all of this??
My husband can’t stand her but tolerates her if it’s a one day thing. A letter/email would not work. I have tried bringing it up to her and she acts like a petulant child. Everyone who knows her has to baby her to get along with her. She is a character. She is never babysitting my child or spending more than a day with her at a time.click to expand
Well the email isn’t about getting her to change. It’s about giving you a sense of closure so you can know for yourself that you’ve expressed how you feel.
Letter or email so she can’t cut you off or gaslight you and turn it around. It’s not a conversation. It’s you telling her how it is.
Posted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.click to expand
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committed suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people's lives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committes suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people'slives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.click to expand
If you wanna pm me I’m curious. If not I understand.
Posted by BlueVelvet
I had to pull a disappearing act on her for five years after college for it to even register that she needed to start leaving me alone.
As long as you and your husband are united on this issue everything else is peanut gallery noise. Put yourself first and put your marriage first. End of.
Posted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committes suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people'slives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
If you wanna pm me I’m curious. If not I understand.click to expand
I'm an Aries. When I shine light, it's for all to see. So, I'll post here or not at all.
Do you have a specific question? Something in particular you are curious about? I've posted about my mom before.
I'm proud of having a narc mom. If I survive that to be who I am today... who the fuc can stand in my way? Just another victory.
Plus, you grown now. With her, say it how you mean it; walk it like you talk it; say it wit ya chess. The parent/child roles have always been reverse for me and her.
Imma let everybody see a text between she and I to get y'all's opinion....
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by LadyNeptune
You know your mom better than any of us. But certain things in your story aren't adding up.
You say shes a horrible person and a narcissist. You say you detached yourself from her 10years ago.
But...you and your husband are getting dinner invites from her and ACCEPTING THEM. So what about that says detached to you?
At a certain point you need to cut the toxic people out of your life COMPLETELY. Otherwise you bitching about her being the way she's always been is on your head cause you continue to put yourself in a situation where you know how its gonna turn out.Posted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me...She said she wanted to show my husband.
I detached myself from her a decade ago
severe ties with her own mother?click to expand
If its really all that bad and damaging...yes.
Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committes suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people'slives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
If you wanna pm me I’m curious. If not I understand.
I'm an Aries. When I shine light, it's for all to see. So, I'll post here or not at all.
Do you have a specific question? Something in particular you are curious about? I've posted about my mom before.
I'm proud of having a narc mom. If I survive that to be who I am today... who the fuc can stand in my way? Just another victory.
Plus, you grown now. With her, say it how you mean it; walk it like you talk it; say it wit ya chess. The parent/child roles have always been reverse for me and her.
Imma let everybody see a text between she and I to get y'all's opinion....click to expand
this is all good - there didn't seem to be a true golden child in our family but if I had to pick I'd say my sister was the closest - of course there were levels and I was at the bottom - my father (Aqua) never stood up my mother (Leo) who was the narcissist so there you have that - who was your model as a child ? support wise ? we had absolutely no one ...
Posted by tctaapPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committes suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people'slives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
If you wanna pm me I’m curious. If not I understand.
I'm an Aries. When I shine light, it's for all to see. So, I'll post here or not at all.
Do you have a specific question? Something in particular you are curious about? I've posted about my mom before.
I'm proud of having a narc mom. If I survive that to be who I am today... who the fuc can stand in my way? Just another victory.
Plus, you grown now. With her, say it how you mean it; walk it like you talk it; say it wit ya chess. The parent/child roles have always been reverse for me and her.
Imma let everybody see a text between she and I to get y'all's opinion....
this is all good - there didn't seem to be a true golden child in our family but if I had to pick I'd say my sister was the closest - of course there were levels and I was at the bottom - my father (Aqua) never stood up my mother (Leo) who was the narcissist so there you have that - who was your model as a child ? support wise ? we had absolutely no one ...click to expand
As most people who know me here know, I loooooove horror novels and started out with the 1st horror novels - fairytales, and add the Bible. My role model was Jesus. I fan-girled Jesus...
...another sacrificial lamb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committes suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people'slives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
If you wanna pm me I’m curious. If not I understand.
I'm an Aries. When I shine light, it's for all to see. So, I'll post here or not at all.
Do you have a specific question? Something in particular you are curious about? I've posted about my mom before.
I'm proud of having a narc mom. If I survive that to be who I am today... who the fuc can stand in my way? Just another victory.
Plus, you grown now. With her, say it how you mean it; walk it like you talk it; say it wit ya chess. The parent/child roles have always been reverse for me and her.
Imma let everybody see a text between she and I to get y'all's opinion....
this is all good - there didn't seem to be a true golden child in our family but if I had to pick I'd say my sister was the closest - of course there were levels and I was at the bottom - my father (Aqua) never stood up my mother (Leo) who was the narcissist so there you have that - who was your model as a child ? support wise ? we had absolutely no one ...
you can call parents narcs too
when they openly play favorites
that's another means of control
i've always been favored in my family
and this is a burden to me, a means of control
that they can use against me
my mother the narcissist was in control and because I didn't want to do exactly as she said, I became the target - the black sheep - and the rest of the family followed against me - I wasn't bad; I was different - I didn't want to do what she told me to do because it/she was wrong. I was the one that said no at a very early age and wow she didn't like that - and for that I was punished
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committes suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people'slives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
If you wanna pm me I’m curious. If not I understand.
I'm an Aries. When I shine light, it's for all to see. So, I'll post here or not at all.
Do you have a specific question? Something in particular you are curious about? I've posted about my mom before.
I'm proud of having a narc mom. If I survive that to be who I am today... who the fuc can stand in my way? Just another victory.
Plus, you grown now. With her, say it how you mean it; walk it like you talk it; say it wit ya chess. The parent/child roles have always been reverse for me and her.
Imma let everybody see a text between she and I to get y'all's opinion....
this is all good - there didn't seem to be a true golden child in our family but if I had to pick I'd say my sister was the closest - of course there were levels and I was at the bottom - my father (Aqua) never stood up my mother (Leo) who was the narcissist so there you have that - who was your model as a child ? support wise ? we had absolutely no one ...
you can call parents narcs too
when they openly play favorites
that's another means of control
i've always been favored in my family
and this is a burden to me, a means of control
that they can use against me
my mother the narcissist was in control and because I didn't want to do exactly as she said, I became the target - the black sheep - and the rest of the family followed against me - I wasn't bad; I was different - I didn't want to do what she told me to do because it/she was wrong. I was the one that said no at a very early age and wow she didn't like that - and for that I was punished
Op the worst thing you could do is hold onto this and let it effect other parts of your life...namely how you treat your future children. We tend to emulate the patterns our parents played out in our own life.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by LadyNeptune
You know your mom better than any of us. But certain things in your story aren't adding up.
You say shes a horrible person and a narcissist. You say you detached yourself from her 10years ago.
But...you and your husband are getting dinner invites from her and ACCEPTING THEM. So what about that says detached to you?
At a certain point you need to cut the toxic people out of your life COMPLETELY. Otherwise you bitching about her being the way she's always been is on your head cause you continue to put yourself in a situation where you know how its gonna turn out.Posted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me...She said she wanted to show my husband.
I detached myself from her a decade ago
severe ties with her own mother?
If its really all that bad and damaging...yes.click to expand
yes I agree - I did it because I had to do it to survive - and I never had a reason to look back. People should not judge - especially if they have never experienced this situation
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by tctaapPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committes suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people'slives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
If you wanna pm me I’m curious. If not I understand.
I'm an Aries. When I shine light, it's for all to see. So, I'll post here or not at all.
Do you have a specific question? Something in particular you are curious about? I've posted about my mom before.
I'm proud of having a narc mom. If I survive that to be who I am today... who the fuc can stand in my way? Just another victory.
Plus, you grown now. With her, say it how you mean it; walk it like you talk it; say it wit ya chess. The parent/child roles have always been reverse for me and her.
Imma let everybody see a text between she and I to get y'all's opinion....
this is all good - there didn't seem to be a true golden child in our family but if I had to pick I'd say my sister was the closest - of course there were levels and I was at the bottom - my father (Aqua) never stood up my mother (Leo) who was the narcissist so there you have that - who was your model as a child ? support wise ? we had absolutely no one ...
you can call parents narcs too
when they openly play favorites
that's another means of control
i've always been favored in my family
and this is a burden to me, a means of control
that they can use against meclick to expand
You betta flip that shit... You can do it.
I don't play wit none they ass and they know this.
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
must be another trait of parents who are narcs - they don't ever stop treating their children like property - never respecting the children that grow into adults as an actual separate human being - always control and attempting to manipulate offspring into doing what they want which will make them look good
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committed suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people's lives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
I want to know.click to expand
Okay, I'm a healer. Been working on her physical, spiritual, and mental. So, sometimes, I see what I think are relapses... or, is she faking the funk for love of the "golden child." I need unbiased interpretation. Then, I 'll answer any question you have or, I'll search my history of when I discussed my mom... like the "Heartbreakers..." thread.
I told her about that thread and she laughed as she listed all her last nsmes from 5
marriage/victims.
In this text, "my struggle" is moving 3200 sq. ft. worth of house and not having anything at the moment. All done now...
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
I've done the same. But, I'm naturally independent and rebellious. I always wind up saving them... that's why I work so hard.
She was in the hospital dying. The world was whipping her ass. She didn't realize she was an old lady and this day would come. But, I did, felt sorry for her blind narcissism, and prepared for the worse... burial expenses... not wanting family shame.
Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by Black-MambaPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committed suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people's lives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
I want to know.
Okay, I'm a healer. Been working on her physical, spiritual, and mental. So, sometimes, I see what I think are relapses... or, is she faking the funk for love of the "golden child." I need unbiased interpretation. Then, I 'll answer any question you have or, I'll search my history of when I discussed my mom... like the "Heartbreakers..." thread.
I told her about that thread and she laughed as she listed all her last nsmes from 5
marriage/victims.
In this text, "my struggle" is moving 3200 sq. ft. worth of house and not having anything at the moment. All done now...
click to expand
It’s hard to tell if she’s being an ass or joking. That’s the problem with gaslighting and fake joking. Only you can identify it because u know her quirks.
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
I've done the same. But, I'm naturally independent and rebellious. I always wind up saving them... that's why I work so hard.
She was in the hospital dying. The world was whipping her ass. She didn't realize she was an old lady and this day would come. But, I did, felt sorry for her blind narcissism, and prepared for the worse... burial expenses... not wanting family shame.
my mother's pretty narc-y and getting old
you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her
coz she is much older than she looks
but no matter how terrible she gets,
i don't think i could just leave her..click to expand
My mom was the quintessential exotic Libra. Very dark skinned with long beautiful black perfect curly hair... rare combo. She passed the hair down to me and my daughter.
She is also a hedon and destroyed her health... severe narc.
Posted by Black-Mamba
@venusaquarius i want to know why you think your mom had to do with the suicide of your sister?
Okay, I'll look thru my post history so, I don't have to re-type.
Meanwhile, was she joking in that text or did she catch herself?
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
I've done the same. But, I'm naturally independent and rebellious. I always wind up saving them... that's why I work so hard.
She was in the hospital dying. The world was whipping her ass. She didn't realize she was an old lady and this day would come. But, I did, felt sorry for her blind narcissism, and prepared for the worse... burial expenses... not wanting family shame.
my mother's pretty narc-y and getting old
you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her
coz she is much older than she looks
but no matter how terrible she gets,
i don't think i could just leave her..
My mom was the quintessential exotic Libra. Very dark skinned with long beautiful black perfect curly hair... rare combo. She passed the hair down to me and my daughter.
She is also a hedon and destroyed her health... severe narc.
my mom is a taurus
she spends too much money on unnecessary crap
and cooks fatty food that i keep telling her to stop eating
now she has trouble walking but she can still walk
but it just pains her to do so
she's not overweight but that's coz we're asian lol
she nags me all the time and is too pessimistic
also cares too much about the economic status of guys i date
and who even cares if he's a doctor or not?
she's really annoying sometimes
i love her but she has lots of traits i find grossclick to expand
My moms a Taurus too. Same with the status obsession. She’s obsessed with my husband because he’s everything she wanted in a man. She doesn’t understand that he hates her, and blames me when he’s rude to her.
Whenever people talk to her for longer than a minute her eyes glaze over and she just goes “hmm” as if she’s listening, then she will just start talking about whatever’s on her mind as if the world is just here revolving around her.
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
I've done the same. But, I'm naturally independent and rebellious. I always wind up saving them... that's why I work so hard.
She was in the hospital dying. The world was whipping her ass. She didn't realize she was an old lady and this day would come. But, I did, felt sorry for her blind narcissism, and prepared for the worse... burial expenses... not wanting family shame.
my mother's pretty narc-y and getting old
you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her
coz she is much older than she looks
but no matter how terrible she gets,
i don't think i could just leave her..
My mom was the quintessential exotic Libra. Very dark skinned with long beautiful black perfect curly hair... rare combo. She passed the hair down to me and my daughter.
She is also a hedon and destroyed her health... severe narc.
my mom is a taurus
she spends too much money on unnecessary crap
and cooks fatty food that i keep telling her to stop eating
now she has trouble walking but she can still walk
but it just pains her to do so
she's not overweight but that's coz we're asian lol
she nags me all the time and is too pessimistic
also cares too much about the economic status of guys i date
and who even cares if he's a doctor or not?
she's really annoying sometimes
i love her but she has lots of traits i find gross
My moms a Taurus too. Same with the status obsession. She’s obsessed with my husband because he’s everything she wanted in a man. She doesn’t understand that he hates her, and blames me when he’s rude to her.
of course she likes him coz he's a libra (venusians)
my mother looks down on my pisces boyfriend
all coz he's not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer
she doesn't show this or tell him
and i make sure that he will never know this
i've always protected him from my family
they don't like him coz he's "just some guy who cooks"
but she eats everything he makes anyway, hypocrite
i don't believe in choosing people for status
what if i can't stand the person?
the hell would crying in BMWs make me feel better for?
there were men who've courted me
who had tons of money.. but i didn't care about that
she'd always resented me for not choosing
what SHE would've chosenclick to expand
omgosh you guys... my mother is Taurus rising...and she has the SAME characteristics as your mothers!!!
where status, men who have tons of money/ professionals are important. lol
as for the men in our lives (for her daughters) it was the libra man (My aries sister's husband) that she did not approve at first, he has scorpio rising, pisces moon) but then saw that it is not the money and professional status but how he is a decent good man who is supportive and kind and good father and husband. it's hard for earthy peeps to see beyond that at first...but they eventually will. their first initial thought is... Is he going to provide well for my daughter?? or make her starve? what if she has to scrape and suffer??
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
I've done the same. But, I'm naturally independent and rebellious. I always wind up saving them... that's why I work so hard.
She was in the hospital dying. The world was whipping her ass. She didn't realize she was an old lady and this day would come. But, I did, felt sorry for her blind narcissism, and prepared for the worse... burial expenses... not wanting family shame.
my mother's pretty narc-y and getting old
you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her
coz she is much older than she looks
but no matter how terrible she gets,
i don't think i could just leave her..
My mom was the quintessential exotic Libra. Very dark skinned with long beautiful black perfect curly hair... rare combo. She passed the hair down to me and my daughter.
She is also a hedon and destroyed her health... severe narc.
my mom is a taurus
she spends too much money on unnecessary crap
and cooks fatty food that i keep telling her to stop eating
now she has trouble walking but she can still walk
but it just pains her to do so
she's not overweight but that's coz we're asian lol
she nags me all the time and is too pessimistic
also cares too much about the economic status of guys i date
and who even cares if he's a doctor or not?
she's really annoying sometimes
i love her but she has lots of traits i find gross
My moms a Taurus too. Same with the status obsession. She’s obsessed with my husband because he’s everything she wanted in a man. She doesn’t understand that he hates her, and blames me when he’s rude to her.
of course she likes him coz he's a libra (venusians)
my mother looks down on my pisces boyfriend
all coz he's not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer
she doesn't show this or tell him
and i make sure that he will never know this
i've always protected him from my family
they don't like him coz he's "just some guy who cooks"
but she eats everything he makes anyway, hypocrite
i don't believe in choosing people for status
what if i can't stand the person?
the hell would crying in BMWs make me feel better for?
there were men who've courted me
who had tons of money.. but i didn't care about that
she'd always resented me for not choosing
what SHE would've chosenclick to expand
Yup. Lol crying in BMWs. Does he cook for a living? That’s cool. My mom is such a kiss ass to anyone with status. When we go out to eat she and her boyfriend for some reason have to know the restaurant owner or meet them. They wanted to go to a pizza place with my husband and I realized it was because they wanted the owner to know they have a white dude in their family. They kept showing him off. So weird.
Posted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by Black-MambaPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by BlueVelvet
My mom is a narcissist. she invited me and my husband for dinner today. She said she found old photos of me when I was maybe 15 on vacation in a bikini. She told me how pretty it was and pointed out details like what color the bikini was so that I would remember. She said she wanted to show my husband.
Your mom is not a narcissist. My mom is/was. She destroyed. You speak of your mom's past insecurities, issues with self-image. Narcissists think they are god.
I immediately gave her a disapproving look, and said “no, you don’t need to show him.” She insisted that it was pretty, then I said it’s inappropriate because I was underage then.
So with that information, was I overreacting? Please take note of your initial reaction to this, then read on.
This is like the baby, infant, picture of my with my legs spread before a diaper was put on. I destroyed it but, it was not inappropriate and I owned my own warped embarrassment. Think about art, paintings, sculptures, photos. No, you in a bikini as a girl is not inappropriate. Just like my infant picture, or a picture of my husband as a country boy swimming at the lake at his family farm, in his jockies. Perverts think inappropriate things at such pictures.
Now, I’ll give more details. The year those photos were taken, my mom had my dad put them up on the karaoke monitor for their family dinner party. I told her to take it down before people showed up, but people were already coming in and she didn’t care. My dad is just oblivious or thinks nothing of my feelings either, so he didn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to work the monitor because my dad had set it up.
Family pictures are often embarrassing.
Aside from that, my mother has always embarrassed me, and whether it’s on purpose or just in her blood, I don’t know. It might be cultural.
Family are prone to embarrass us. My mother does the same, so do my uncles. You gotta own your feelings.
But I do know that she was extremely self conscious of her body as a young woman because I saw photos of her from before she had me, in her bikini, and she looked really bashful, covering up her stomach. She also told me she was bulemic, said it in a way that it’s obvious she has a rudimentary understanding of what bulemia is. She would say she made herself throw up, but never mentioned bulemia. I guess where she’s from(not the USA), it’s not discussed as an eating disorder.
You are not describing a narcissist.
But I can only imagine she knows what it’s like to be self conscious and she should be able to translate those feelings into some understanding of why I wouldn’t want her to show my photos to all her friends who were obviously much older than me. My worst assumption is that she is so effed up in the head that she only knows how to deal with her own feelings by making me feel as small as her.
She is living through you. You were not as self-conscious as she was... to the point of bulimia. She is proud of you as she wishe she could be of herself. Seeing you unabashed in your bikini might be healing to her. You are not receiving her feelings. You seem to lack empathy for your mother as an individual. When we become adults, we must begin to see our parents as people. Shed that one-way child view of them as just parents.
I was initially the one who wanted to wear the bikini and it was sort of like an important step in becoming comfortable with my body, because for a long time she would pick out what I was supposed to wear and control me in such ways.
I detached myself from her a decade ago and I have no issues with self image, but it’s irritating that she’s still the same old idiot.
She rejoices in your "important step in becoming comfortable with my body." She missed that step. She didn't make it through like you. She living vicariously through you in that moment and it's healing. Alot of women have this issue. Your mothee joins millions of "idiots."
She will probably text my husband the photos at some point, but I don’t care. If she does at least I will know she’s a piece of shit. I just can’t help wondering if I’m gona turn out to be as retarded as her, embarrassing my kid without any awareness or control over it. It’s also giving me a new perspective on how/why everyone does that to other people and I’m disgusted by how I have done things like that to my own friends, even if it seemed inconsequential to me. Ughhh too much truth for dxp?
Oh yeah, and since this is the astrology and relationships forum, I’ll add that I have Chiron conjunct the ascendant. So it makes sense.
Absolutely correct! Chiron conjunct the ascendant. Do mom's chart too. It will help you see her as an individual. Maybe garner some empathy.
Explain how I should empathize with this.
When her friend was dying in the hospital she hung up a pic of me on her bulletin board of cards and letters, and it was so big it took up half the board. It made her daughter so mad she drew marks on my face and I don’t hold it against her because that’s just so dumb.
If you know anything about narcissists, you know they either have a golden child or a scapegoat. She made me the golden child. Showed me off to EVERYONE, forced me to perform at all the religious meetings and forced me to emcee when I was like 10, while normally it was adults who did that. She thought it was so cute though, and everyone else just backed off and let her do what she wanted. When she pissed off some people for being too self involved, she created a new district where the meetings would be held at our house and she could have me perform without interruption.
All you retards are now thinking so what, some parents are strict and proud of their kids. Fuck off, you have no idea of the difference between narcissism and strict parenting. You are the reason narcissists exist - while they are infantilizing their children and abusing their partners, they appear harmless and innocent to the people who don’t know them.
My mother was an absolute dick to my dad. Ordered him around and whined that he never did anything for our family, meanwhile he was doing everything while she would come home at midnight, not from working late but finding other shit to do. But when the weekends came around she would pretend to be a real mom to our religious friends. She has done a lot of stupid shit and everyone I know has confirmed that they always knew there was something up with her so I don’t need you all to be acting like you know my mom better than I do. Bring on the boo hoos. I’m just confirming that this is another case where you’re all bs-ing yourselves with your Dr. Phil attitudes. You’re all dumb but i’m worse for expecting you not to be.
Now, I understand. I am "the golden child."
Gotcha all the way. However, I will assume, from one "golden child" to another that you are leaving out the most gory details for privacy sake. 'Cause, what you described is very light on describing narcissism... and, I'm still skeptical as to whether she maybe narcissistic instead of a clinical narc like my mom, to include antisocial personality disorder.
But hey, there's levels to this shit.
My mom is probably the worse narc mom in history. But, my natal chart has "golden child" all over it. Hence, probably I can still love, empathize, yet keep myself safe. I flip the "golden child" role and work it to make her behave. I block her periodically.
I open discuss her with her, raw, real, in your face Aries style .
Look, my Scorp sis committed suicide due to my mom. Okay? Destroys people's lives. I could go into horrific detail but, I don't wanna fuc up people's day, month, maybe year.
I want to know.
Okay, I'm a healer. Been working on her physical, spiritual, and mental. So, sometimes, I see what I think are relapses... or, is she faking the funk for love of the "golden child." I need unbiased interpretation. Then, I 'll answer any question you have or, I'll search my history of when I discussed my mom... like the "Heartbreakers..." thread.
I told her about that thread and she laughed as she listed all her last nsmes from 5
marriage/victims.
In this text, "my struggle" is moving 3200 sq. ft. worth of house and not having anything at the moment. All done now...
It’s hard to tell if she’s being an ass or joking. That’s the problem with gaslighting and fake joking. Only you can identify it because u know her quirks.click to expand
Thank you. Fam says she caught herself. I give 100s of $ $ But, I won't if I think she's hustling me. Don't reward bad behavior.
I gave her a bunch of food cause you shouldn't put food in storage - rats. And, just wanted my seasonings. Cause she had alot and I'm starting from scratch.
Posted by Black-Mamba
I love my mom. She's got massive psychological traits that's hard to ignore but she's also the most funny witty person i know who is am amazing storyteller
I don't focus on her bad traits like my younger siblings do
it's hard...
but at least your mother is that way...
some mothers are just hard to deal with as company, but they are still our mothers.
you love them for the bad and good.
i hope that my children always love me for all the good and bad too. no one is perfect and never will be..
Posted by hydorahPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by hydorahPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by hydorah
my mom is an aquarius and so fucking embarassing. A total narcissist, thankfully I'm old enought that I don't care
Good for you. At your age I’m guessing she’s pretty much dead. So it’s a non issue.
you don't know my mom she's so petty and won't stop with the snide remarks
Oh wow you have developed a hard shell to make you impervious to the world’s shit bullets. Congratulations
thanks, aquarius moms are the worstclick to expand
are they? i never talk bad or down about my children, and it is very awkward when i hear about that.
that's one thing i'm pretty proud of, that i dont take it out on my loved ones.
i would harm myself more than i would anyone i love. i think i'm more INTERNAL suffering than harming others.
but there are parents who do hurt others because they cannot keep it inside.
the suffering.. they have to let it out.
i think those ... i dont think they are AWARE of what they are doing..
or they are TRUE narcissists and think that the world revovles around them.
well anyway..sorry to hear about your mother. -_-
Posted by Black-MambaPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by Black-Mamba
@venusaquarius i want to know why you think your mom had to do with the suicide of your sister?
Okay, I'll look thru my post history so, I don't have to re-type.
Meanwhile, was she joking in that text or did she catch herself?
I think it's weird she didn't want to share her seasonings, my mom loves to share , overshare actuallyclick to expand
They were mine. And yes, nasty narc... me, me, me mine. And, she'll steal my shit. This visit, I reaquired some shit took. Nothing big. Cause she knows I will go OFF!
I called my daughter to make sure I get everything missing from the last visit.
My mom sends petty texts too. She wanted to take my Libra and me for dinner for our birthdays, so they asked what we wanted so we said italian. Then she was like “there’s a good sushi place, let’s think about it.” The day of comes up and Libra is saying he has a bad stomach so he prefers Italian. So we have dinner, and after we go home she sends a goodnight text with a sushi emoji.
Weirdo
Weirdo
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a
i once told my mom it doesn't matter if i don't marry a doctor
coz i'm exactly everything she's always wanted
in the man that she wants me to marry lol
hell i'll even work for the both of us i don't care
what if i'm so deeply in love with him
and he's basically a peasant?
i just wanted a hygienic peasant lol
i would think like that too, but you have earth lol
once you have all the nice luxurious things and good food, it's hard to go back to suffering and scraping. ;p
you hope for both love and being taken care of. (all of it)
but he doeesn't have to be a doctor. Jsut someone who can take care of business. lol
Posted by BlueVelvet
My mom sends petty texts too. She wanted to take my Libra and me for dinner for our birthdays, so they asked what we wanted so we said italian. Then she was like “there’s a good sushi place, let’s think about it.” The day of comes up and Libra is saying he has a bad stomach so he prefers Italian. So we have dinner, and after we go home she sends a goodnight text with a sushi emoji.
Weirdo
that is very weird - my son's ex-wife's mother was like that - she was paying for the dinner after the small courthouse wedding they had and wanted to go where she could get chicken rather than to the seafood buffet restaurant where her daughter and new son in law wanted to go - the buffet also had chicken but on the way there she just kept pushing to go where she wanted to go. Jeez - people !
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by lisabethur8Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
I've done the same. But, I'm naturally independent and rebellious. I always wind up saving them... that's why I work so hard.
She was in the hospital dying. The world was whipping her ass. She didn't realize she was an old lady and this day would come. But, I did, felt sorry for her blind narcissism, and prepared for the worse... burial expenses... not wanting family shame.
my mother's pretty narc-y and getting old
you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her
coz she is much older than she looks
but no matter how terrible she gets,
i don't think i could just leave her..
My mom was the quintessential exotic Libra. Very dark skinned with long beautiful black perfect curly hair... rare combo. She passed the hair down to me and my daughter.
She is also a hedon and destroyed her health... severe narc.
my mom is a taurus
she spends too much money on unnecessary crap
and cooks fatty food that i keep telling her to stop eating
now she has trouble walking but she can still walk
but it just pains her to do so
she's not overweight but that's coz we're asian lol
she nags me all the time and is too pessimistic
also cares too much about the economic status of guys i date
and who even cares if he's a doctor or not?
she's really annoying sometimes
i love her but she has lots of traits i find gross
My moms a Taurus too. Same with the status obsession. She’s obsessed with my husband because he’s everything she wanted in a man. She doesn’t understand that he hates her, and blames me when he’s rude to her.
of course she likes him coz he's a libra (venusians)
my mother looks down on my pisces boyfriend
all coz he's not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer
she doesn't show this or tell him
and i make sure that he will never know this
i've always protected him from my family
they don't like him coz he's "just some guy who cooks"
but she eats everything he makes anyway, hypocrite
i don't believe in choosing people for status
what if i can't stand the person?
the hell would crying in BMWs make me feel better for?
there were men who've courted me
who had tons of money.. but i didn't care about that
she'd always resented me for not choosing
what SHE would've chosen
omgosh you guys... my mother is Taurus rising...and she has the SAME characteristics as your mothers!!!
where status, men who have tons of money/ professionals are important. lol
as for the men in our lives (for her daughters) it was the libra man (My aries sister's husband) that she did not approve at first, he has scorpio rising, pisces moon) but then saw that it is not the money and professional status but how he is a decent good man who is supportive and kind and good father and husband. it's hard for earthy peeps to see beyond that at first...but they eventually will. their first initial thought is... Is he going to provide well for my daughter?? or make her starve? what if she has to scrape and suffer??
right?
like what if he beats me or just a total dbag?
the hell would it matter if he's a doctor?
some asian women are super materialistic asf
made even worse that she's a taurus
even some female friends would brag about
guys they're dating and what stuff they give
and i look down on these women
i always felt i make better choices in life
i'd always brag about something he said or did
like i would try to overpower them when we get together
by incessantly talking about how awesome and perfect my boyfriend is
(and he really is most of the time)
and it's so sad how some of these guys treat them badly or cheat on them
but they can't just leave coz they've "grown accustomed to the life style "
pathetic.
i could be eating swamp cabbages right now
and STILL look down on these bishesclick to expand
i think maybe (just a guess) they thinking ...well at least she has that. because i have all the riches and wealth and she doesn't.. something has to COMPENSATE. "Poor thing has to eat swamp cabbages and here i am eating my cavier and champagne for brunch"< lol
it's a way to making them feel better about themselves too. you have to also feel sad about their situation as well.
i dont know ... ...i honestly believe they may be jealous of your comfort and love, and them having good comfortable life while the husband is cheating, or treating badly is just, a "bump" on the road.
plus we dont know, they could be HAPPY that their husbands are not bothering them and they could be left alone to their luxury.
Posted by Waterbearerwearer
What’s your sun moon merc?
Your mum is proud btw and perhaps living vacariously through you.
i thought the same thing at first.
Posted by BlueVelvet
My mom sends petty texts too. She wanted to take my Libra and me for dinner for our birthdays, so they asked what we wanted so we said italian. Then she was like “there’s a good sushi place, let’s think about it.” The day of comes up and Libra is saying he has a bad stomach so he prefers Italian. So we have dinner, and after we go home she sends a goodnight text with a sushi emoji.
Weirdo
One time I blocked her on my birthday. She texted me... "Happy Birthday, I had another stroke on your birthday." I should find that text because it read worse. This is what I wake up to 1st thing on my birthday. Her strokes are due to blind, wild, narc choices and hedonism to the extreme. What that got to do with my B-day?
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by lisabethur8Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by lisabethur8Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by BlueVelvetPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
I've done the same. But, I'm naturally independent and rebellious. I always wind up saving them... that's why I work so hard.
She was in the hospital dying. The world was whipping her ass. She didn't realize she was an old lady and this day would come. But, I did, felt sorry for her blind narcissism, and prepared for the worse... burial expenses... not wanting family shame.
my mother's pretty narc-y and getting old
you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her
coz she is much older than she looks
but no matter how terrible she gets,
i don't think i could just leave her..
My mom was the quintessential exotic Libra. Very dark skinned with long beautiful black perfect curly hair... rare combo. She passed the hair down to me and my daughter.
She is also a hedon and destroyed her health... severe narc.
my mom is a taurus
she spends too much money on unnecessary crap
and cooks fatty food that i keep telling her to stop eating
now she has trouble walking but she can still walk
but it just pains her to do so
she's not overweight but that's coz we're asian lol
she nags me all the time and is too pessimistic
also cares too much about the economic status of guys i date
and who even cares if he's a doctor or not?
she's really annoying sometimes
i love her but she has lots of traits i find gross
My moms a Taurus too. Same with the status obsession. She’s obsessed with my husband because he’s everything she wanted in a man. She doesn’t understand that he hates her, and blames me when he’s rude to her.
of course she likes him coz he's a libra (venusians)
my mother looks down on my pisces boyfriend
all coz he's not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer
she doesn't show this or tell him
and i make sure that he will never know this
i've always protected him from my family
they don't like him coz he's "just some guy who cooks"
but she eats everything he makes anyway, hypocrite
i don't believe in choosing people for status
what if i can't stand the person?
the hell would crying in BMWs make me feel better for?
there were men who've courted me
who had tons of money.. but i didn't care about that
she'd always resented me for not choosing
what SHE would've chosen
omgosh you guys... my mother is Taurus rising...and she has the SAME characteristics as your mothers!!!
where status, men who have tons of money/ professionals are important. lol
as for the men in our lives (for her daughters) it was the libra man (My aries sister's husband) that she did not approve at first, he has scorpio rising, pisces moon) but then saw that it is not the money and professional status but how he is a decent good man who is supportive and kind and good father and husband. it's hard for earthy peeps to see beyond that at first...but they eventually will. their first initial thought is... Is he going to provide well for my daughter?? or make her starve? what if she has to scrape and suffer??
right?
like what if he beats me or just a total dbag?
the hell would it matter if he's a doctor?
some asian women are super materialistic asf
made even worse that she's a taurus
even some female friends would brag about
guys they're dating and what stuff they give
and i look down on these women
i always felt i make better choices in life
i'd always brag about something he said or did
like i would try to overpower them when we get together
by incessantly talking about how awesome and perfect my boyfriend is
(and he really is most of the time)
and it's so sad how some of these guys treat them badly or cheat on them
but they can't just leave coz they've "grown accustomed to the life style "
pathetic.
i could be eating swamp cabbages right now
and STILL look down on these bishes
i think maybe (just a guess) they thinking ...well at least she has that. because i have all the riches and wealth and she doesn't.. something has to COMPENSATE. "Poor thing has to eat swamp cabbages and here i am eating my cavier and champagne for brunch"< lol
it's a way to making them feel better about themselves too. you have to also feel sad about their situation as well.
i dont know ... ...i honestly believe they may be jealous of your comfort and love, and them having good comfortable life while the husband is cheating, or treating badly is just, a "bump" on the road.
plus we dont know, they could be HAPPY that their husbands are not bothering them and they could be left alone to their luxury.
when you put it like that,
i guess they might be compensating too
just as much as i am
i always feel myself getting defensive
when i hear some underlying ridicule
against my boyfriend
but if that kind of life style is their happiness,
then whatever god bless themclick to expand
i try not to mention anything IMPERFECT to my mother about my husband or it's a "crack" in the system LOL
well after being with my husband for many years, she found it.... that he is a penny pincher and is miserly with money lmao ;p
i would think she would appreciate that though.
she had already found "cracks" in the system about my sister's men already lmao. it was only a matter of time.
xd
anyway, it is similar to what your situation is, how mothers find "cracks" ..in the system ..in this case your man.... because it's not what she would want for herself.
well poo-pooh... it's YOUR choice not hers ;p
Edit ---- oh and i dont say, My husband is penny pincher... no way.
it's how i just say, certain things and she figures it out (she has scorpio mercury) LOL
Posted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_aPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by s_i_e_r_r_a
@VenusAquarius
i've had 2 mini rebellions against them before
they allow me more freedom now
coz they have no choice
i'll break away if they suffocate me still
i've cut them off for half a year in my late teens
had enough of their manipulative crap
i don't like confrontations and
i'm infatilized when i dare voice my opinion
i came back and they loosened up
I've done the same. But, I'm naturally independent and rebellious. I always wind up saving them... that's why I work so hard.
She was in the hospital dying. The world was whipping her ass. She didn't realize she was an old lady and this day would come. But, I did, felt sorry for her blind narcissism, and prepared for the worse... burial expenses... not wanting family shame.
my mother's pretty narc-y and getting old
you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her
coz she is much older than she looks
but no matter how terrible she gets,
i don't think i could just leave her..
My mom was the quintessential exotic Libra. Very dark skinned with long beautiful black perfect curly hair... rare combo. She passed the hair down to me and my daughter.
She is also a hedon and destroyed her health... severe narc.
my mom is a taurus
she spends too much money on unnecessary crap
and cooks fatty food that i keep telling her to stop eating
now she has trouble walking but she can still walk
but it just pains her to do so
she's not overweight but that's coz we're asian lol
she nags me all the time and is too pessimistic
also cares too much about the economic status of guys i date
and who even cares if he's a doctor or not?
she's really annoying sometimes
i love her but she has lots of traits i find grossclick to expand
My mom, also Venus-ruled Libra, spends too much money on unnecessary crap... will cry, beg, borrow, steal....(anti-social personality trait as well).
And, can't cook...cooks fatty food, combines wrong flavors, make combos outta wanting to be extravagant but, when put together, is gross as hell...
She's always broke but looks like a million bucks... she decorates roccoco style or english with every corner ordained in fluffury on top of fluffury. As a kid, I kinda hated it and I was hated on... because of her decadent extravagance.
So, I was spartan and functional with my decor. She moves in with me and starts to jam pack her room. I told her no curtains, blinds are enough. She starts crying at the check-out stand. I was grossed out. And, let her have her curtains.
All thise years of dark english decor lead to vitamin difficiences related to lack of sunlight. She admitted it but, her house is still dark.
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