TaurusCap323
@TaurusCap323
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 245 · Topics: 48
3 year situationship Leo man Taurus woman
My Chart-
Sun
in
25° 2'
Taurus
Moon
in
5° 33'
Aquarius
Mercury
in
7° 56'
Taurus
(r)
Venus
in
13° 35'
Aries
Mars
in
18° 50'
Pisces
Jupiter
in
9° 40'
Cancer
Saturn
in
25° 14'
Capricorn
(r)
Uranus
in
9° 10'
Capricorn
(r)
Neptune
in
14° 20'
Capricorn
(r)
Pluto
in
16° 8'
Scorpio
(r)
North Node
in
11° 18'
Aquarius
(r)
Chiron
in
13° 16'
Cancer
Ascendant
in
21° 21'
Capricorn
MC
in
15° 43'
Scorpio
His chart-
Sun
in
8° 51'
Leo
Moon
in
22° 33'
Capricorn
Mercury
in
20° 6'
Cancer
Venus
in
29° 2'
Gemini
Mars
in
23° 10'
Virgo
Jupiter
in
9° 46'
Libra
Saturn
in
28° 20'
Aquarius
(r)
Uranus
in
19° 26'
Capricorn
(r)
Neptune
in
19° 14'
Capricorn
(r)
Pluto
in
22° 43'
Scorpio
(r)
North Node
in
9° 11'
Sagittarius
(r)
Chiron
in
25° 31'
Leo
Ascendant
in
19° 56'
Cancer
MC
in
22° 58'
Aquarius
Our composite-
Sun
in
1° 0'
Cancer
Moon
in
29° 0'
Capricorn
Mercury
in
14° 0'
Gemini
Venus
in
21° 0'
Taurus
Mars
in
21° 0'
Sagittarius
Jupiter
in
24° 0'
Leo
Saturn
in
11° 0'
Aquarius
Uranus
in
14° 0'
Capricorn
Neptune
in
16° 0'
Capricorn
Pluto
in
19° 0'
Scorpio
North Node
in
10° 0'
Capricorn
Ascendant
in
20° 0'
Aries
MC
in
4° 0'
Capricorn
Sun
in
25° 2'
Taurus
Moon
in
5° 33'
Aquarius
Mercury
in
7° 56'
Taurus
(r)
Venus
in
13° 35'
Aries
Mars
in
18° 50'
Pisces
Jupiter
in
9° 40'
Cancer
Saturn
in
25° 14'
Capricorn
(r)
Uranus
in
9° 10'
Capricorn
(r)
Neptune
in
14° 20'
Capricorn
(r)
Pluto
in
16° 8'
Scorpio
(r)
North Node
in
11° 18'
Aquarius
(r)
Chiron
in
13° 16'
Cancer
Ascendant
in
21° 21'
Capricorn
MC
in
15° 43'
Scorpio
His chart-
Sun
in
8° 51'
Leo
Moon
in
22° 33'
Capricorn
Mercury
in
20° 6'
Cancer
Venus
in
29° 2'
Gemini
Mars
in
23° 10'
Virgo
Jupiter
in
9° 46'
Libra
Saturn
in
28° 20'
Aquarius
(r)
Uranus
in
19° 26'
Capricorn
(r)
Neptune
in
19° 14'
Capricorn
(r)
Pluto
in
22° 43'
Scorpio
(r)
North Node
in
9° 11'
Sagittarius
(r)
Chiron
in
25° 31'
Leo
Ascendant
in
19° 56'
Cancer
MC
in
22° 58'
Aquarius
Our composite-
Sun
in
1° 0'
Cancer
Moon
in
29° 0'
Capricorn
Mercury
in
14° 0'
Gemini
Venus
in
21° 0'
Taurus
Mars
in
21° 0'
Sagittarius
Jupiter
in
24° 0'
Leo
Saturn
in
11° 0'
Aquarius
Uranus
in
14° 0'
Capricorn
Neptune
in
16° 0'
Capricorn
Pluto
in
19° 0'
Scorpio
North Node
in
10° 0'
Capricorn
Ascendant
in
20° 0'
Aries
MC
in
4° 0'
Capricorn
Some significant aspects I’ve noticed between us is a
His moon on my ascendant & my Saturn
Our asc opposing each other
As well as my moon in the same sign as his Saturn but far degrees so idk if that counts as a conjunction
His moon on my ascendant & my Saturn
Our asc opposing each other
As well as my moon in the same sign as his Saturn but far degrees so idk if that counts as a conjunction
Thank you for your response. Yea it sucks. We had a good run maybe our time is just finally up. He’s wanted it to be more many times and I denied it but now I’ll just forever wonder what if. 🤷♀️ i know if it was up to him he’d keep this going but once I realized he was taking a girl out on a date that triggered me because I’m like you only do that if you have an intention for more so I just went crazy and cut my loses before he could break things off which agin I don’t even know if that situation will turn into anything but to me the fact that he took her out shows me that hes still looking for something I can’t give him
Posted by YunkerPosted by TaurusCap323
Some significant aspects I’ve noticed between us is a
His moon on my ascendant & my Saturn
Our asc opposing each other
As well as my moon in the same sign as his Saturn but far degrees so idk if that counts as a conjunction
From what I've been reading, a conjunction moon-saturn in synastry is not good. Particularly for the moon person. Having moon and saturn in the same sign is alright though as long as they're not conjunct.click to expand
Please elaborate. I’ve read a little about this placement and I know it’s something like feelings being restricted. And I feel like that is probably true for both of us. I think we both can feel a love between us but we have a hard time expressing it with words. And in the past when one of us have the other has rejected it which could just make the fear worst idk. I do hear it can be very binding as well and maybe that’s why we have a hard time letting each other go. We have both always just be lurking in the backwards of each others lives. We have great chemistry and get along amazing when we are together and often times when we are apart we are just very playful and have great banter but no real depth and that’s always been what has helped keep my feelings in check. But recently we started talking and seeing each other way so I thought maybe we were shifting but knowing he went out on a date just turned me all the way off because he claims he isn’t sleeping with anyone else but him taking a girl out just shows you clearly have the intent. And sometimes I feel like he’s scared to be vulnerable with me because as much as we’ve been around in each others lives for awhile I’ve always kept a big distance between us. And I can be very hot and cold. The moment I started to feel feelings I sabotage and run away and then come back and so I feel like that probably bothers him because I give him great passion but no stability
😂😂 I don’t think he’s my Saturn toy. I do love him. But crazy in love no. But I feel like if he was more verbally express & mature it could grow more. He’s so physically affectionate but his normal tone with me is very playful & that just rubs me the wrong way. I just feel like that could just be his personality but how playful he is makes me question his feelings so much.
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
Posted by TaurusCap323
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
That is so generous of you to allow him to continue on with his life.
If only more EXs would give their partner’s permission to live their lives we would all be better.
Still sounds like you’re in quiet competition with this new girl.
With two fixed signs, I don’t see much changing going to happen. You’re not going to give up the reins which is why you denied his request to get more serious again and again. Maybe you like to call the shots too much. I get it though, control = comfort/security. Dictating the progression of a relationship gives some a sense of feeling secure.
My advice is to join a competitive hobby/sport where you can get out all those desires of wanting to win.
Posted by DMVPosted by TaurusCap323
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
That is so generous of you to allow him to continue on with his life.
If only more EXs would give their partner’s permission to live their lives we would all be better.
Still sounds like you’re in quiet competition with this new girl.
With two fixed signs, I don’t see much changing going to happen. You’re not going to give up the reins which is why you denied his request to get more serious again and again. Maybe you like to call the shots too much. I get it though, control = comfort/security. Dictating the progression of a relationship gives some a sense of feeling secure.
My advice is to join a competitive hobby/sport where you can get out all those desires of wanting to win.
click to expand
Thank you for you feedback you definitely hit the nail on the head about my control issues lol. This whole situation has always been on my terms and that did create a sense of comfort for me and now I feel like once my feelings started to get more involved it became harder to control and it sent me on a downward spiral.
I wouldn’t necessarily classify me as competing with her if I wanted to compete I would stay around I think it’s more of just knowing if someone wants to be somewhere else you can’t stop them so I would rather allow him to explore what he has with her so he can see if that’s where he would rather be. So I’m not going to “compete” I’m going to let him go and he can create his own assessment.
But honestly, the way how he has handled this with a lot of avoidant behavior has really turned me off not communicating properly is a trigger for me, and the fact that he has been ignoring me, and trying not to dive into real conversation about the situation just shows how immature he is. Which is a huge turn off for me so in the grand scheme of things I think letting him go for good is really the best choice because he can’t do anything serious if it’s not fun and a party it’s like he wants to avoid it and he’s also younger than me so I know he still has a lot of maturing to do as a man.
Posted by TaurusCap323Posted by DMVThank you for you feedback you definitely hit the nail on the head about my control issues lol. This whole situation has always been on my terms and that did create a sense of comfort for me and now I feel like once my feelings started to get more involved it became harder to control and it sent me on a downward spiral.Posted by TaurusCap323That is so generous of you to allow him to continue on with his life.
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
If only more EXs would give their partner’s permission to live their lives we would all be better.
Still sounds like you’re in quiet competition with this new girl.
With two fixed signs, I don’t see much changing going to happen. You’re not going to give up the reins which is why you denied his request to get more serious again and again. Maybe you like to call the shots too much. I get it though, control = comfort/security. Dictating the progression of a relationship gives some a sense of feeling secure.
My advice is to join a competitive hobby/sport where you can get out all those desires of wanting to win.
I wouldn’t necessarily classify me as competing with her if I wanted to compete I would stay around I think it’s more of just knowing if someone wants to be somewhere else you can’t stop them so I would rather allow him to explore what he has with her so he can see if that’s where he would rather be. So I’m not going to “compete” I’m going to let him go and he can create his own assessment.
But honestly, the way how he has handled this with a lot of avoidant behavior has really turned me off not communicating properly is a trigger for me, and the fact that he has been ignoring me, and trying not to dive into real conversation about the situation just shows how immature he is. Which is a huge turn off for me so in the grand scheme of things I think letting him go for good is really the best choice because he can’t do anything serious if it’s not fun and a party it’s like he wants to avoid it and he’s also younger than me so I know he still has a lot of maturing to do as a man.
click to expand
To that last paragraph.... you are sooooo wrong for that. After all these years? Really? What is there to talk about after so long? Sure he could talk. But, does he owe you that? After this long entanglement, I wouldn't blame him for ripping the band-aid off. Maybe he's trying to turn you off and it's a good thing to do. It's not avoidant behavior. He's cutting it off finally, my goodness.
Speaking of maturity, you sound like a crybaby.
Crying over something they just want to play with but does not belong to them... even when they don't really want it.
Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by TaurusCap323Posted by DMVPosted by TaurusCap323
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
That is so generous of you to allow him to continue on with his life.
If only more EXs would give their partner’s permission to live their lives we would all be better.
Still sounds like you’re in quiet competition with this new girl.
With two fixed signs, I don’t see much changing going to happen. You’re not going to give up the reins which is why you denied his request to get more serious again and again. Maybe you like to call the shots too much. I get it though, control = comfort/security. Dictating the progression of a relationship gives some a sense of feeling secure.
My advice is to join a competitive hobby/sport where you can get out all those desires of wanting to win.
Thank you for you feedback you definitely hit the nail on the head about my control issues lol. This whole situation has always been on my terms and that did create a sense of comfort for me and now I feel like once my feelings started to get more involved it became harder to control and it sent me on a downward spiral.
I wouldn’t necessarily classify me as competing with her if I wanted to compete I would stay around I think it’s more of just knowing if someone wants to be somewhere else you can’t stop them so I would rather allow him to explore what he has with her so he can see if that’s where he would rather be. So I’m not going to “compete” I’m going to let him go and he can create his own assessment.
But honestly, the way how he has handled this with a lot of avoidant behavior has really turned me off not communicating properly is a trigger for me, and the fact that he has been ignoring me, and trying not to dive into real conversation about the situation just shows how immature he is. Which is a huge turn off for me so in the grand scheme of things I think letting him go for good is really the best choice because he can’t do anything serious if it’s not fun and a party it’s like he wants to avoid it and he’s also younger than me so I know he still has a lot of maturing to do as a man.
click to expand
To that last paragraph.... you are sooooo wrong for that. After all these years? Really? What is there to talk about after so long? Sure he could talk. But, does he owe you that? After this long entanglement, I wouldn't blame him for ripping the band-aid off. Maybe he's trying to turn you off and it's a good thing to do. It's not avoidant behavior. He's cutting it off finally, my goodness.
Speaking of maturity, you sound like a crybaby.
Crying over something they just want to play with but does not belong to them... even when they don't really want it.click to expand
Lol not exactly I was finally opening up to what he wanted. We had recently had a conversation about him wanting to spend more time with me and it’s like right when I was trying to do that I found out that he had just met someone and took her out so to me it just seemed like if you were still open to dating someone new why complain about how much time I spend with you why tell me you love etc. I respect your opinion I understand you’re only hearing a very small portion of a 3 year journey. But all in all I feel like I finally started to open up and express my feelings for him and right when I did that I found that out and it rly hurt me. And even now I was trying to have a mature conversation to end our situation and he’s just shut down. So yes I think he’s extremely immature. You don’t handle 3 years of what we’ve had together and disrespect it by not even giving proper closure. I think it’s very selfish. And if this is how he wants to act then I hope he keeps that same energy months from now and doesn’t try coming back.
This is the same person that in one message told me he’s sorry for everything hope one day I can forgive him and that he loves me but when in the next breathe im trying to have a conversation about closure and he ignores it it’s like then you’re not sorry! How are you apologizing and then 5 seconds later doing the same thing. He’s a child.
Posted by TaurusCap323Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by TaurusCap323To that last paragraph.... you are sooooo wrong for that. After all these years? Really? What is there to talk about after so long? Sure he could talk. But, does he owe you that? After this long entanglement, I wouldn't blame him for ripping the band-aid off. Maybe he's trying to turn you off and it's a good thing to do. It's not avoidant behavior. He's cutting it off finally, my goodness.Posted by DMVPosted by TaurusCap323
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
That is so generous of you to allow him to continue on with his life.
If only more EXs would give their partner’s permission to live their lives we would all be better.
Still sounds like you’re in quiet competition with this new girl.
With two fixed signs, I don’t see much changing going to happen. You’re not going to give up the reins which is why you denied his request to get more serious again and again. Maybe you like to call the shots too much. I get it though, control = comfort/security. Dictating the progression of a relationship gives some a sense of feeling secure.
My advice is to join a competitive hobby/sport where you can get out all those desires of wanting to win.
Thank you for you feedback you definitely hit the nail on the head about my control issues lol. This whole situation has always been on my terms and that did create a sense of comfort for me and now I feel like once my feelings started to get more involved it became harder to control and it sent me on a downward spiral.
I wouldn’t necessarily classify me as competing with her if I wanted to compete I would stay around I think it’s more of just knowing if someone wants to be somewhere else you can’t stop them so I would rather allow him to explore what he has with her so he can see if that’s where he would rather be. So I’m not going to “compete” I’m going to let him go and he can create his own assessment.
But honestly, the way how he has handled this with a lot of avoidant behavior has really turned me off not communicating properly is a trigger for me, and the fact that he has been ignoring me, and trying not to dive into real conversation about the situation just shows how immature he is. Which is a huge turn off for me so in the grand scheme of things I think letting him go for good is really the best choice because he can’t do anything serious if it’s not fun and a party it’s like he wants to avoid it and he’s also younger than me so I know he still has a lot of maturing to do as a man.
click to expand
Speaking of maturity, you sound like a crybaby.
Crying over something they just want to play with but does not belong to them... even when they don't really want it.
Lol not exactly I was finally opening up to what he wanted. We had recently had a conversation about him wanting to spend more time with me and it’s like right when I was trying to do that I found out that he had just met someone and took her out so to me it just seemed like if you were still open to dating someone new why complain about how much time I spend with you why tell me you love etc. I respect your opinion I understand you’re only hearing a very small portion of a 3 year journey. But all in all I feel like I finally started to open up and express my feelings for him and right when I did that I found that out and it rly hurt me. And even now I was trying to have a mature conversation to end our situation and he’s just shut down. So yes I think he’s extremely immature. You don’t handle 3 years of what we’ve had together and disrespect it by not even giving proper closure. I think it’s very selfish. And if this is how he wants to act then I hope he keeps that same energy months from now and doesn’t try coming back.click to expand
Here's the highlights that don't mesh with what you are currently saying and substantiates my response to you:
1. "He became a bit of a constant for me. He had been patient with me over the years rejecting a relationship with him & seeing someone else he was always very easy going about it."
2. "I feel like our dynamic is hopeless because I don’t feel we are truly compatible but yet I have a deep desire to keep him in my life."
3. "…because I know we can’t ever be together."
I think you have been selfish --- point number 1 above.
As far as only hearing snibits of 3 years, this ain't hard to see. He's been in a one-sided love affair for many years and has made himself at your disposal (probably in hopes) and he's moving on, and now you're angry cause he has cut off all accessibility (cause this thing has dragged on long enough for him). Allowing you further access will probably do him more harm (than you) as he has assessed the communication is the key continuing on... which he does not want to do.
Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by TaurusCap323Here's the highlights that don't mesh with what you are currently saying and substantiates my response to you:Posted by VenusAquariusLol not exactly I was finally opening up to what he wanted. We had recently had a conversation about him wanting to spend more time with me and it’s like right when I was trying to do that I found out that he had just met someone and took her out so to me it just seemed like if you were still open to dating someone new why complain about how much time I spend with you why tell me you love etc. I respect your opinion I understand you’re only hearing a very small portion of a 3 year journey. But all in all I feel like I finally started to open up and express my feelings for him and right when I did that I found that out and it rly hurt me. And even now I was trying to have a mature conversation to end our situation and he’s just shut down. So yes I think he’s extremely immature. You don’t handle 3 years of what we’ve had together and disrespect it by not even giving proper closure. I think it’s very selfish. And if this is how he wants to act then I hope he keeps that same energy months from now and doesn’t try coming back.Posted by TaurusCap323Posted by DMVPosted by TaurusCap323
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
That is so generous of you to allow him to continue on with his life.
If only more EXs would give their partner’s permission to live their lives we would all be better.
Still sounds like you’re in quiet competition with this new girl.
With two fixed signs, I don’t see much changing going to happen. You’re not going to give up the reins which is why you denied his request to get more serious again and again. Maybe you like to call the shots too much. I get it though, control = comfort/security. Dictating the progression of a relationship gives some a sense of feeling secure.
My advice is to join a competitive hobby/sport where you can get out all those desires of wanting to win.
Thank you for you feedback you definitely hit the nail on the head about my control issues lol. This whole situation has always been on my terms and that did create a sense of comfort for me and now I feel like once my feelings started to get more involved it became harder to control and it sent me on a downward spiral.
I wouldn’t necessarily classify me as competing with her if I wanted to compete I would stay around I think it’s more of just knowing if someone wants to be somewhere else you can’t stop them so I would rather allow him to explore what he has with her so he can see if that’s where he would rather be. So I’m not going to “compete” I’m going to let him go and he can create his own assessment.
But honestly, the way how he has handled this with a lot of avoidant behavior has really turned me off not communicating properly is a trigger for me, and the fact that he has been ignoring me, and trying not to dive into real conversation about the situation just shows how immature he is. Which is a huge turn off for me so in the grand scheme of things I think letting him go for good is really the best choice because he can’t do anything serious if it’s not fun and a party it’s like he wants to avoid it and he’s also younger than me so I know he still has a lot of maturing to do as a man.
click to expand
To that last paragraph.... you are sooooo wrong for that. After all these years? Really? What is there to talk about after so long? Sure he could talk. But, does he owe you that? After this long entanglement, I wouldn't blame him for ripping the band-aid off. Maybe he's trying to turn you off and it's a good thing to do. It's not avoidant behavior. He's cutting it off finally, my goodness.
Speaking of maturity, you sound like a crybaby.
Crying over something they just want to play with but does not belong to them... even when they don't really want it.
click to expand
1. "He became a bit of a constant for me. He had been patient with me over the years rejecting a relationship with him & seeing someone else he was always very easy going about it."
2. "I feel like our dynamic is hopeless because I don’t feel we are truly compatible but yet I have a deep desire to keep him in my life."
3. "…because I know we can’t ever be together."
I think you have been selfish --- point number 1 above.
As far as only hearing snibits of 3 years, this ain't hard to see. He's been in a one-sided love affair for many years and has made himself at your disposal (probably in hopes) and he's moving on, and now you're angry cause he has cut off all accessibility (cause this thing has dragged on long enough for him). Allowing you further access will probably do him more harm (than you) as he has assessed the communication is the key continuing on... which he does not want to do.click to expand
And I can see how that looks like I am the selfish one but something I left out was when we first met he messed our situationship up and we fell out for months. Once we started speaking again I made it a purely sexual thing and kept my distance because I felt like he’s already burned me once. Over the years I feel he’s tried to show me a new side to him but the truth is there are still lots of guards up. And he wasn’t trying to cut communication with me he does this when I get very upset because my Venus in Aries got lash out a bit and I go an these rants and when I do that he just doesn’t engage! I’m still not sure if this is the healthiest approach or not lol but it’s been our dynamic and eventually I burn myself out and then we make up so I feel like that’s what he was doing. We are texting now and he’s trying to tell me that that wasn’t a date she in tied him out for drinks and he went and that’s fine but all his time I just spiraled out because I knew he went to a bar with a girl and even that night he was still texting me because I was suppose to see him after and he was just taking too long and it just triggered me into the rant. All in all I say we aren’t compatible because he isn’t verbally express and that’s hard for me. And we’ve also just been in a cycle of having fun together and sometimes when you do something for so long that worked you feel like if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. I’m not here trying to get married off I just want he and I to be in a place of transparency. We have a bond we have great sex together and for now that’s good enough. My fear was are you pursing people to actually date them and from the conversation we just had it doesn’t seem like that’s what happen. He wants to continue what we have & im fine with that as long as he’s not trying to seriously date someone else. It’s kind of like we have an open relationship not so much just fwb
Posted by TaurusCap323Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by TaurusCap323Here's the highlights that don't mesh with what you are currently saying and substantiates my response to you:Posted by VenusAquariusLol not exactly I was finally opening up to what he wanted. We had recently had a conversation about him wanting to spend more time with me and it’s like right when I was trying to do that I found out that he had just met someone and took her out so to me it just seemed like if you were still open to dating someone new why complain about how much time I spend with you why tell me you love etc. I respect your opinion I understand you’re only hearing a very small portion of a 3 year journey. But all in all I feel like I finally started to open up and express my feelings for him and right when I did that I found that out and it rly hurt me. And even now I was trying to have a mature conversation to end our situation and he’s just shut down. So yes I think he’s extremely immature. You don’t handle 3 years of what we’ve had together and disrespect it by not even giving proper closure. I think it’s very selfish. And if this is how he wants to act then I hope he keeps that same energy months from now and doesn’t try coming back.Posted by TaurusCap323Posted by DMVPosted by TaurusCap323
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
That is so generous of you to allow him to continue on with his life.
If only more EXs would give their partner’s permission to live their lives we would all be better.
Still sounds like you’re in quiet competition with this new girl.
With two fixed signs, I don’t see much changing going to happen. You’re not going to give up the reins which is why you denied his request to get more serious again and again. Maybe you like to call the shots too much. I get it though, control = comfort/security. Dictating the progression of a relationship gives some a sense of feeling secure.
My advice is to join a competitive hobby/sport where you can get out all those desires of wanting to win.
Thank you for you feedback you definitely hit the nail on the head about my control issues lol. This whole situation has always been on my terms and that did create a sense of comfort for me and now I feel like once my feelings started to get more involved it became harder to control and it sent me on a downward spiral.
I wouldn’t necessarily classify me as competing with her if I wanted to compete I would stay around I think it’s more of just knowing if someone wants to be somewhere else you can’t stop them so I would rather allow him to explore what he has with her so he can see if that’s where he would rather be. So I’m not going to “compete” I’m going to let him go and he can create his own assessment.
But honestly, the way how he has handled this with a lot of avoidant behavior has really turned me off not communicating properly is a trigger for me, and the fact that he has been ignoring me, and trying not to dive into real conversation about the situation just shows how immature he is. Which is a huge turn off for me so in the grand scheme of things I think letting him go for good is really the best choice because he can’t do anything serious if it’s not fun and a party it’s like he wants to avoid it and he’s also younger than me so I know he still has a lot of maturing to do as a man.
click to expand
To that last paragraph.... you are sooooo wrong for that. After all these years? Really? What is there to talk about after so long? Sure he could talk. But, does he owe you that? After this long entanglement, I wouldn't blame him for ripping the band-aid off. Maybe he's trying to turn you off and it's a good thing to do. It's not avoidant behavior. He's cutting it off finally, my goodness.
Speaking of maturity, you sound like a crybaby.
Crying over something they just want to play with but does not belong to them... even when they don't really want it.
click to expand
1. "He became a bit of a constant for me. He had been patient with me over the years rejecting a relationship with him & seeing someone else he was always very easy going about it."
2. "I feel like our dynamic is hopeless because I don’t feel we are truly compatible but yet I have a deep desire to keep him in my life."
3. "…because I know we can’t ever be together."
I think you have been selfish --- point number 1 above.
As far as only hearing snibits of 3 years, this ain't hard to see. He's been in a one-sided love affair for many years and has made himself at your disposal (probably in hopes) and he's moving on, and now you're angry cause he has cut off all accessibility (cause this thing has dragged on long enough for him). Allowing you further access will probably do him more harm (than you) as he has assessed the communication is the key continuing on... which he does not want to do.
And I can see how that looks like I am the selfish one but something I left out was when we first met he messed our situationship up and we fell out for months. Once we started speaking again I made it a purely sexual thing and kept my distance because I felt like he’s already burned me once. Over the years I feel he’s tried to show me a new side to him but the truth is there are still lots of guards up. And he wasn’t trying to cut communication with me he does this when I get very upset because my Venus in Aries got lash out a bit and I go an these rants and when I do that he just doesn’t engage! I’m still not sure if this is the healthiest approach or not lol but it’s been our dynamic and eventually I burn myself out and then we make up so I feel like that’s what he was doing. We are texting now and he’s trying to tell me that that wasn’t a date she in tied him out for drinks and he went and that’s fine but all his time I just spiraled out because I knew he went to a bar with a girl and even that night he was still texting me because I was suppose to see him after and he was just taking too long and it just triggered me into the rant. All in all I say we aren’t compatible because he isn’t verbally express and that’s hard for me. And we’ve also just been in a cycle of having fun together and sometimes when you do something for so long that worked you feel like if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. I’m not here trying to get married off I just want he and I to be in a place of transparency. We have a bond we have great sex together and for now that’s good enough. My fear was are you pursing people to actually date them and from the conversation we just had it doesn’t seem like that’s what happen. He wants to continue what we have & im fine with that as long as he’s not trying to seriously date someone else. It’s kind of like we have an open relationship not so much just fwbclick to expand
Once again, here's the highlight that doen't mesh with what you are currently saying and substantiates my response to you:
"He became a bit of a constant for me. He had been patient with me over the years rejecting a relationship with him & seeing someone else he was always very easy going about it."
You can see other people and he couldn't huh? And, that's not selfish?
Your latest post... you are contradicting yourself.
Ok I see how that sounds but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t seeing other people. When I said that it’s because we were distant right I kept my distance from him during that time I never cared what he was or wasn’t doing because we weren’t close. At one point during that time he did try to be in a relationship with me and I said no and I was at the time dating someone and it was getting more serious so I had to cut off our sexual relationship. Then at one point we picked back up and even at one point he got in a relationship with someone else for a few months and during that time we didn’t engage in a sexual relationship so it’s not like he’s just been sitting around waiting for me. The issue I had now is because since this summer we’ve gotten a lot closer it was like we were both out of our other relationships and the timing and connection just seemed to flow and that’s when I started to think this person has been there we’ve been a constant with each other over the years timing and guard both caused us to never rly be on the same page at the same time etc and this summer we started to get closer and recently this is the closest we’ve been since we first met both expressed feelings for each other and wanting to spend more time together. I’ve even agreed on going to trips with him which was something I always denied for the sake of keeping my distance so this time things are a bit different no we aren’t in a relationships he he tells me he’s not having sex with anyone else even though if he did I wouldn’t be upset I just tell him make sure you use a condom etc so my only issue at this point is we’re are doing all this getting closer for what if he was going to be dating someone else. Because at that point we could just have kept it the way it was when we had more boundaries and distance and I didn’t know or care what he was doing. And also seeing someone casually is different than if you’re pursuing someone to try and be in a relationship and that’s what I wanted to be clear on. It doesn’t seem like the situation was a date or initiated based on him, but I simply just told him if you want to date someone else seriously let me know and I will remove myself because if he wants to be in a relationship with someone, there’s no reason for us to continue to get closer.
I think your right it’s definitely Convenience and attachment when I say I love him I don’t mean like I’m in love with him I mean I love him as a person I care about him you don’t spend that much time with someone and not care about them so I love him in a way that I would like love a friend you know.
The reason why I think it works is because I don’t think either one of us are ready to settle down and be in a serious relationship. We’ve both just got out of some thing. I don’t know the details of his situation, but I know for me my situation with that Pisces was very emotionally draining. I think he is my twin flame so it was a lot and finally getting out of that. I just wanted to have fun and experience something light and that’s what the Leo has given me. we experience many relationships in our life that don’t lead to marriage. I don’t think that makes them any less important or significant to experience. I’m learning a lot, and we’re creating memories and enjoying a time & a phase in our life and at the same time we’re not getting in the way of anything. If he decides he wants to pursue someone for something serious he’s free to do that and I am the same. I just don’t think that’s where we both are at this current point in our life. I can just be a little bit more free spirited about relationships. I don’t know if that’s my moon in Aquarius but I’m very clear on you only get one forever if you’re lucky everyone else is temporary so I do tend to try and just live in the moment and enjoy people and things while it lasts because I know majority of the time things and people in your life are temporary and that’s OK it’s still a part of the journey and worth experiencing.
The reason why I think it works is because I don’t think either one of us are ready to settle down and be in a serious relationship. We’ve both just got out of some thing. I don’t know the details of his situation, but I know for me my situation with that Pisces was very emotionally draining. I think he is my twin flame so it was a lot and finally getting out of that. I just wanted to have fun and experience something light and that’s what the Leo has given me. we experience many relationships in our life that don’t lead to marriage. I don’t think that makes them any less important or significant to experience. I’m learning a lot, and we’re creating memories and enjoying a time & a phase in our life and at the same time we’re not getting in the way of anything. If he decides he wants to pursue someone for something serious he’s free to do that and I am the same. I just don’t think that’s where we both are at this current point in our life. I can just be a little bit more free spirited about relationships. I don’t know if that’s my moon in Aquarius but I’m very clear on you only get one forever if you’re lucky everyone else is temporary so I do tend to try and just live in the moment and enjoy people and things while it lasts because I know majority of the time things and people in your life are temporary and that’s OK it’s still a part of the journey and worth experiencing.
Posted by DMVPosted by TaurusCap323
But to update my last convo with him we cleared the air & I told him I would give him space to explore what he has with this girl. So I am in a sense letting him go. We’ll see if what he has with her trumps what we had. Which it could from what I know of her they are very similar born a few days part so there charts are basically the same expect moon sign & maybe her asc (which I don’t know hers) so I’m not going to get in his way of exploring something he’s had to accept when I was exploring someone else so I will be fair and I will use that time to heal & try to move on. If he does come back then I just know something has to change because we can’t keep doing this
That is so generous of you to allow him to continue on with his life.
If only more EXs would give their partner’s permission to live their lives we would all be better.
Still sounds like you’re in quiet competition with this new girl.
With two fixed signs, I don’t see much changing going to happen. You’re not going to give up the reins which is why you denied his request to get more serious again and again. Maybe you like to call the shots too much. I get it though, control = comfort/security. Dictating the progression of a relationship gives some a sense of feeling secure.
My advice is to join a competitive hobby/sport where you can get out all those desires of wanting to win.
click to expand
There are consequences for that kinda behavior of constantly rejecting and nice that she seems to understand it and accept it.
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