He should love you just a little bit more than you love him?

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TaurusinTexas
@TaurusinTexas
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This little gem has been shared recently by two different women, both older, one in her 60's and the other in her 50's. Neither of them know each other, this was two separate occassions and this wasn't said to me but to other ladies in relationships, I just happen to be there.

So, Im wondering, what are your thoughts?

Also, if it matters, one is a Virgo with a Scorpio moon and the other is an Aquarius, not sure her moon.
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Gemitati
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Posted by tiziani
What was their reasoning behind it?
Whatever the reasoning I've heard that 100 times before and it's not a gem and it's not 'just' been shared!

However to me it sounds stupid.

Like one takes teaspoon of love and the other takes tablespoon of love.

Now we know who loves whom more?

How do you measure love—

Also why would I be with someone I love less than he loves me? Pfffff crap!
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Gemitati
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Posted by TaurusinTexas
Posted by tiziani
What was their reasoning behind it?
They both say that a man will do anything for you, if he loves you that little bit more. If he knows you love him more, than he will take you for granted. He needs to have that taste of detachment from you to appreciate you.
click to expand

Man: I love you

Woman: I love you too

Man: I love you more

Woman's brain - 'bingo! He loves me more'

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Gemitati
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Posted by starwars
I don't believe in following certian rules when it comes to loving someone.

you know how some people say to not make the first move?

not show the guy that you like him?

not talk about your relationship to your friends?

I dont fuk with that, you should feel happy and free to say and do whatever you want whenever you feel like doing it. if you dont have that type of security and freedom then the relationship is shit because that means its based on ego and mind games.

people should focus more on the positive feelings and fulfillment they feel from being in a relationship rather than focusing on how to keep their partner, because its a waste of time and it'd ruin the relationship in the long run.

if your partner ended up seeing someone else, then you aren't meant to be and life goes on.
Nobody seeing anyone! Let go you being dumped!

Your rant has nothing to do with OP.

Have you read OP? Nooooooo!

You aren't reader - you are writer! Right?

Wrong! ? Nap time...?
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enfant_terrible
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Posted by TaurusinTexas
Posted by tiziani
What was their reasoning behind it?
They both say that a man will do anything for you, if he loves you that little bit more. If he knows you love him more, than he will take you for granted. He needs to have that taste of detachment from you to appreciate you.
click to expand

I need to take you for granted if I am ever going to accomplish something more in life than just our relationship. Do you want a productive man or a dog?

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MyStarsShine
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Posted by Simsimi
Posted by MyStarsShine
My wise mother used to say this

I see proof and truth in this
My mom still says this , I'm pretty sure thats why their relationships back then lasted a lot more than.

She says it should be more like 60/40

(About a woman actions will always overshadow a man' even if she's giving him that 40% )

Men these days are quick to take women for granted.
click to expand



Yes

We are blessed with a deep and nurturing love called mother love
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enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
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Posted by Simsimi
I agree, he should show his love more though.

Not necessarily love you more
This is me. I am extremely expressive in terms of gestures and I can understand someone may think overtime I either love them more, or that I'm a fraud. Gestures don't measure love or feelings though, they only measure the amount of time and energy you spend on a person for whatever reason. Let's keep in mind that the need to show love can be just as selfish as anything else.

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Gemitati
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Posted by Simsimi
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Simsimi
I agree, he should show his love more though.

Not necessarily love you more
So he should act? Showing without feeling? What's your experience with men in love of any?
Depends on the partners love language tbh, learn what the partner wants and then do it. The difference is when they really do love you more they'd learn it and do more often without you having to tell them. Same goes for the lady involved.

Subconsciously, i always show 40% but i feel it comes off as 100% while doing it. I fall short though like i overdo things and then he's relaxing, i take a few steps back. Its not a lot but an ex of mine once complained about it "..why aren't you heads over heels in love like women are.." Its just that i have found that men relax when you can do most things for them especially in relationships and financially.
click to expand

40% —

Do you know how stupid it sounds—

40% of love to his 60% —

The dumbest ever thing I've heard even for DXP!!!!!!!!!!

—?
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Gemitati
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Posted by Simsimi
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Simsimi
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Simsimi
I agree, he should show his love more though.

Not necessarily love you more
So he should act? Showing without feeling? What's your experience with men in love of any?
Depends on the partners love language tbh, learn what the partner wants and then do it. The difference is when they really do love you more they'd learn it and do more often without you having to tell them. Same goes for the lady involved.

Subconsciously, i always show 40% but i feel it comes off as 100% while doing it. I fall short though like i overdo things and then he's relaxing, i take a few steps back. Its not a lot but an ex of mine once complained about it "..why aren't you heads over heels in love like women are.." Its just that i have found that men relax when you can do most things for them especially in relationships and financially.
40% —

Do you know how stupid it sounds—

40% of love to his 60% —

The dumbest ever thing I've heard even for DXP!!!!!!!!!!

—?
Its not dumb, its called mirroring his actions. No man will ever give you 100 in the beginning. Until you've both settled into the relationship, where you'd be dumb would be to start initiating the dates and expressing your love like the man you want to be, by then you might as well date yourself since you're man enough.
click to expand


THAT IS DUMBASS WOMAN THEORY!

What's your love deal? Single but know it all?
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enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
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Posted by Simsimi
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Simsimi
I agree, he should show his love more though.

Not necessarily love you more
This is me. I am extremely expressive in terms of gestures and I can understand someone may think overtime I either love them more, or that I'm a fraud. Gestures don't measure love or feelings though, they only measure the amount of time and energy you spend on a person for whatever reason. Let's keep in mind that the need to show love can be just as selfish as anything else.


I highly doubt you'd bother with gestures or effort with someone you don't even care about lol, for some people the gestures are a deep sign of love and care.
click to expand

That's kind of shallow imo. But sure, shallow ppl will think it means more than it does. Judge ppl by their actions, not their words or gestures.

I'm just saying it can be an ego thing. Like if I get a high - or a sense of accomplishment - by making her feel special through empty, romantic gestures and feed off her reaction. And once that becomes worn out, you stop with the gestures and that's when you have to ask yourself - who was it for, me or her?

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enfant_terrible
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Posted by Simsimi
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Simsimi
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Simsimi
I agree, he should show his love more though.

Not necessarily love you more
This is me. I am extremely expressive in terms of gestures and I can understand someone may think overtime I either love them more, or that I'm a fraud. Gestures don't measure love or feelings though, they only measure the amount of time and energy you spend on a person for whatever reason. Let's keep in mind that the need to show love can be just as selfish as anything else.


I highly doubt you'd bother with gestures or effort with someone you don't even care about lol, for some people the gestures are a deep sign of love and care.
That's kind of shallow imo. But sure, shallow ppl will think it means more than it does. Judge ppl by their actions, not their words or gestures.

I'm just saying it can be an ego thing. Like if I get a high - or a sense of accomplishment - by making her feel special through empty, romantic gestures and feed off her reaction. And once that becomes worn out, you stop with the gestures and that's when you have to ask yourself - who was it for, me or her?




Gestures aren't a form of actions? Wow the entire time i thought i was educated.
click to expand

No .

Don't be surprised if the guy who rarely expressed his feelings for you in other than practical terms, who never made you dinner or bought you thoughtful or sentimental gifts actually loved you more than they guy who did all those things.

I'm not saying the latter was a manipulative fraud, I'm saying it was probably more about him than about you. Like when you see a fluffy kitten and you just need to pet it. It's about your needs and not those of the kitten. ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯.

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enfant_terrible
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Posted by Ellygant
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Simsimi
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Simsimi
I agree, he should show his love more though.

Not necessarily love you more
This is me. I am extremely expressive in terms of gestures and I can understand someone may think overtime I either love them more, or that I'm a fraud. Gestures don't measure love or feelings though, they only measure the amount of time and energy you spend on a person for whatever reason. Let's keep in mind that the need to show love can be just as selfish as anything else.


I highly doubt you'd bother with gestures or effort with someone you don't even care about lol, for some people the gestures are a deep sign of love and care.
That's kind of shallow imo. But sure, shallow ppl will think it means more than it does. Judge ppl by their actions, not their words or gestures.

I'm just saying it can be an ego thing. Like if I get a high - or a sense of accomplishment - by making her feel special through empty, romantic gestures and feed off her reaction. And once that becomes worn out, you stop with the gestures and that's when you have to ask yourself - who was it for, me or her?




Cancer moon giving. Our normal is what most people reserve for their most special.

'Why are you so nice to me?!'

I sit back thinking *what kind of unkind rude people have you been around?*

We can definitely get stuck on the loop of giving just because it's easy and satisfying though. I always feel a difference in when I give out of my nature and when I give out of a real love. Most of the time the other person can never tell the difference though.

Probably why a lot of people thought I was in love with them then were weirded out when I moved on without informing them. Lol.
click to expand

Story of my life. My current gf is soooo grateful for.. well, all things Enfant. Yes I am generous, I am considerare and thoughtful and she's on about how none of her other boyfriends were like this. I won't lie if I say I get a high out of it, but at the same time it comes effortlessly to me so a lot of the time I don't really think in those terms. And I do tell her not to measure other ppl's feelings (incl. my own) by gestures but by intent and actions.

Her, after a rough patch: "You are so good to me, what have I done to deserve this?"

"Chillax, it's just dinner. I was planning on eating today anyway" lol

And yeah I'm like that too... I just have this need to be giddy and affectionate for the lack of a better word - it just means that I feel comfortable around you and that I don't harbor resentment - so don't let it fool you, I might check out of the relationship the next day.

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iCloud9
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Posted by Ellygant
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Simsimi
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Simsimi
I agree, he should show his love more though.

Not necessarily love you more
This is me. I am extremely expressive in terms of gestures and I can understand someone may think overtime I either love them more, or that I'm a fraud. Gestures don't measure love or feelings though, they only measure the amount of time and energy you spend on a person for whatever reason. Let's keep in mind that the need to show love can be just as selfish as anything else.


I highly doubt you'd bother with gestures or effort with someone you don't even care about lol, for some people the gestures are a deep sign of love and care.
That's kind of shallow imo. But sure, shallow ppl will think it means more than it does. Judge ppl by their actions, not their words or gestures.

I'm just saying it can be an ego thing. Like if I get a high - or a sense of accomplishment - by making her feel special through empty, romantic gestures and feed off her reaction. And once that becomes worn out, you stop with the gestures and that's when you have to ask yourself - who was it for, me or her?




Cancer moon giving. Our normal is what most people reserve for their most special.

'Why are you so nice to me?!'

I sit back thinking *what kind of unkind rude people have you been around?*

We can definitely get stuck on the loop of giving just because it's easy and satisfying though. I always feel a difference in when I give out of my nature and when I give out of a real love. Most of the time the other person can never tell the difference though.

Probably why a lot of people thought I was in love with them then were weirded out when I moved on without informing them. Lol.
click to expand

insightful

i had a similar yet different problem. not like i went out of my way for them. it just comes naturally for me to always think in couple terms. like i'd often get 2 sets of everything - one for me; one for him. when i eat/drink something good, i'd leave him half even when i can't have enough myself. that was probably why i accidentally got into couple relationships lol
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It is an adage... it has many supporting legs, probably founded in a myriad of tradition... psychological, biological, and definitely sociological. It is not "premeditated" or calculated. It probably serves as a hyperbole of sorts to remind women that their feelings of love does not make it so... it's a counter balance.

Shall we over analyze and breakdown these other popular adages? Just for perspective let's see...

"Two wrongs don't make a right." ...

"The pen is mightier than the sword." ...

"When in Rome, do as the Romans." ...

"The squeaky wheel gets the grease." ...

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

"No man is an island." ...

"Fortune favors the bold."
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lisabeth
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Posted by starwars
I don't believe in following certian rules when it comes to loving someone.

you know how some people say to not make the first move?

not show the guy that you like him?

not talk about your relationship to your friends?

I dont fuk with that, you should feel happy and free to say and do whatever you want whenever you feel like doing it. if you dont have that type of security and freedom then the relationship is shit because that means its based on ego and mind games.

people should focus more on the positive feelings and fulfillment they feel from being in a relationship rather than focusing on how to keep their partner, because its a waste of time and it'd ruin the relationship in the long run.

if your partner ended up seeing someone else, then you aren't meant to be and life goes on.


following rules in love is THINKING TOO MUCH.

that's brain area.

not heart area. lol
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lisabeth
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the truth is...

if you love him more than he loves you, he will take advantage of you. cause he will ride you to the ground while cheating on your ass.

cause you love him so much you'll forgive everything he does cause you is dumb to be treated like that.

and no self respecting GOOD MAN would do that.

and the truth is..

if he loves you more, then you too will take advantage of him because he is a WIMPY ass for taking your shit. Because you know he loves you too much so you will DESTROY him since there is NO love ...not even enough to respect his ass. (Edit -- yes she becomes a BAD woman!!! cause no self respecting good woman would do that to a man ...but she will because she does NOT love him and will cheat on him and take all his money cause he is a dumb ass too)

so there you go..

EQUAL LOVE is the best, that way you dont destroy eachother. you want to LOVE eachother and respect.



so you see.....you see it, you hear it, know it....feel it..



equality in love is GOOD cause you will never disrespect eachother.

and when it is unbalanced you will resent eachother cause you dont love.
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lisabeth
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Posted by TaurusinTexas
This little gem has been shared recently by two different women, both older, one in her 60's and the other in her 50's. Neither of them know each other, this was two separate occassions and this wasn't said to me but to other ladies in relationships, I just happen to be there.

So, Im wondering, what are your thoughts?

Also, if it matters, one is a Virgo with a Scorpio moon and the other is an Aquarius, not sure her moon.
those women dont love those men that's why.



they is BAD women. cause they dont love those guys and they is gonna destroy those men.

but some of these men really are suckers.
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lisabeth
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i found something super cool and it resonates well with this topic.

also i found it very very odd and strange when i first came unto astrology and relationships/message boards that there were SOOOO many sayings that you should find someone who loves you more...

really?? and the OP said there were women who were already middle aged into their senior citizens age thinking this? why? just be single!!!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/amanda-veitia/2015/02/when-he-loves-you-more-than-you-love-him/



"When you love less, the person who holds your hand won’t notice. In fact it will only make them grip tighter. They’ll check the street for you before you cross and maybe even hold their arm out to keep you back until its safe.

They’ll be the first to notice you’re cold and give you their jacket. They’ll wrap their body around yours because they love being close. They’ll whisper in your ear how beautiful you are.

They’ll be the first to say “I Love You” before you hang up the phone. You’ll feel each word because they meant for it to be intentional. They’d say it more often, but they know it would scare you. You’ll say, “You too” or “Ditto.” You’ll hear their smile growing on the other end at the mere sound of your verbal reciprocation. They won’t notice the difference in your delivery, simply because it’s you.





When they tip your face up to kiss you good night, they’ll take a pause. They’ll admire that beauty mark above your lip for the 100th time because it is yours. And when your lips touch they’ll sigh into it because it feels just as good at the first time.

They’ll notice when you’re not yourself. They’ll hug you close to let you know it’s safe to talk about it. When your body squirms to break free, they’ll rub your back softer, easing you into it. Because they love your walls. Simply because they’re yours.

When your mom calls to invite you both to dinner, they’ll cancel whatever plans they have. Your mom will spend the night talking to them and when they’re not looking, nod to you in full parent approval. On the ride home they’ll talk about how great your family is, and how you two should spend more time with them.

They’ll be the first to bring up the future. They’ll paint you a picture of your happily-ever-after. You’ll smile. Throw their dreams over your shoulder like spilled salt. And because you’re not saying no, they’ll take it as a yes.



They’ll text passive aggressively when they haven’t heard from you in hours. It was hard enough when you rescheduled plans for a friend’s night out. But they respect your independence. They’ll huff that your responses are too vague. They’ll ask why you don’t care. They’ll tell you they don’t feel like a priority. But one kiss from you means you’re sorry and they’ll accept it happily. Simply because it’s you.

When you’re the person who loves less, your hand will sit still; unwrapped, but present. You’ll accept their coat, and wrap your arms around yourself for extra warmth. When they’re upset you’ll leave them be. “If they want to talk, they will,” you’ll say. It’s not your place to pry.

You’ll only say “I love you,” when it matters. When they need to hear it. You don’t think about ever afters. When you’ve broken them down enough, you’ll let them go for good. Because you love them you know they deserve better. They’ll cry. They’ll bargain. They’ll fight for you. But you know it’s for the best. They’ll tell you how much they love you anyway. But it won’t be enough, because to you, love never is."