How do you know if you have true feelings for someone or it's just obsession?

You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Infinite8
When it's an obsession, I have a fixed goal and can't get it out of my mind/being.

When I have true feelings, I care for the wellbeing & needs of the other person as much as I care for mine. It's not as selfish. It feels healthier too.
I think I am more obssessed in this case, even though I do care about the needs of the other person.

Do you have any tips for reducing obsession?
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Infinite8
I've only need fully obsessed once in my life (as a young teenager), with my first boyfriend (Pisces) and I got obsessed as soon as I realized our relationship was under threat.

The experience was so awful that the experience itself made me turned off to ever want to behave that way again.


What did you end up doing to rise above the situation? 😕
Profile picture of P-Angel
P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Posted by whatisthisallabout

but it is not right/unhealthy if I am not in love with the person but just want to own this person, right?






As soon as you said the above, it became obvious that you're just looking for attention.

A rational, mature and respectful woman wouldn't dance around and play with the possibility that she's wrong but looking to be validated for it anyway.

Playing ignorant isn't cute.



Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Well I think if you're obsessed then clearly you have feelings for them. You're probably not in love but you definitely like the person
I do like the person, and you are right about me not being in love with the person yet.

I feel this is so unhealthy though because I really want to make this person mine 😆

Get em ??

click to expand

Hahaha, have you done that before? Do you remain obssessed with the person once you've got him?
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Well I think if you're obsessed then clearly you have feelings for them. You're probably not in love but you definitely like the person
I do like the person, and you are right about me not being in love with the person yet.

I feel this is so unhealthy though because I really want to make this person mine 😆

Get em ??

click to expand

Hahahah Have you done that? Do you still feel obssessed with the perosn once he's yours?
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Infinite8
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Infinite8
When it's an obsession, I have a fixed goal and can't get it out of my mind/being.

When I have true feelings, I care for the wellbeing & needs of the other person as much as I care for mine. It's not as selfish. It feels healthier too.
I think I am more obssessed in this case, even though I do care about the needs of the other person.

Do you have any tips for reducing obsession?
If you are obsessed, you truly care more about your needs much much more than those of the other. Obsession is being out of control, the energy controls YOU. You are not in control of it. Like an addict. Therefore, others become secondary.

What helped me was to clearly go through an obsession and remember the results. I didn't like what resulted of my obsession... and I wanted different outcome out of what my behavior created. Therefore, I changed my behavior... and the best way to do that is to put yourself in the other persons place.

I didn't treat him the way I wished to be treated. I like to be treated with respect, I like to be heard, I like feeling like the person TRUSTS me, I don't like to be questioned as if I were in an interrogation room.



I became the person that I would like for myself. And as soon as I did that, my magnet became a million times more powerful.

click to expand

This is very true. I know the person wants to take things slow but I just feel very obssessed with the idea of making him mine...

I guess the best thing I can do is to distract myself and not show how obssessive I am "behaviorally".
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by whatisthisallabout

but it is not right/unhealthy if I am not in love with the person but just want to own this person, right?






As soon as you said the above, it became obvious that you're just looking for attention.

A rational, mature and respectful woman wouldn't dance around and play with the possibility that she's wrong but looking to be validated for it anyway.

Playing ignorant isn't cute.



click to expand

haha ok. I can see that.
Profile picture of Gemitati
Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Infinite8
I've only need fully obsessed once in my life (as a young teenager), with my first boyfriend (Pisces) and I got obsessed as soon as I realized our relationship was under threat.

The experience was so awful that the experience itself made me turned off to ever want to behave that way again.


What did you end up doing to rise above the situation? 😕
click to expand

Are you trolling?
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by d0s3r
Posted by whatisthisallabout
but it is not right/unhealthy if I am not in love with the person but just want to own this person, right?
i hope this isn't about the pisces/cap venus?

click to expand

I am LOL I just feel so crazy about him (=can't stop thinking about him and wanting him to be mine) but I know I don't know him enough to be in love with him... and I feel our interactions can be cute and friendly, but they remain at the superficial level. I dont really know him. =.=
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Well I think if you're obsessed then clearly you have feelings for them. You're probably not in love but you definitely like the person
I do like the person, and you are right about me not being in love with the person yet.

I feel this is so unhealthy though because I really want to make this person mine 😆

Get em ??


Hahaha, have you done that before? Do you remain obssessed with the person once you've got him?

Yes I have. And I was obsessed for 4 years after we broke up ?

click to expand

WOW. You were obssessed for another 4 years afterwards!!??

Was it worth it though?

Now I am scared what'd happen even if I successfully made him mine but then it didn't work out after a while.... It'd suck really bad if I remain obssessed for years afterwards!!!!
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Seraphlight
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Well I think if you're obsessed then clearly you have feelings for them. You're probably not in love but you definitely like the person
I do like the person, and you are right about me not being in love with the person yet.

I feel this is so unhealthy though because I really want to make this person mine 😆

Get em ??


Hahaha, have you done that before? Do you remain obssessed with the person once you've got him?
When I am obsessed I can't stop thinking about them. I don't want to possess them or anything. I am just excited to see them etc.
click to expand

That's very cute and not intimidating. I think you are way healthier than I am lol
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Infinite8
I've only need fully obsessed once in my life (as a young teenager), with my first boyfriend (Pisces) and I got obsessed as soon as I realized our relationship was under threat.

The experience was so awful that the experience itself made me turned off to ever want to behave that way again.


What did you end up doing to rise above the situation? 😕
Are you trolling?
click to expand

I wish lol
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by d0s3r
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by d0s3r
venus conjunct neptune synastry too
we don't have venus conjuct neptune, but we have neptune conjunct mars and neptune conjuct neptune


you didn't answer the other question

all that talk of cap venus needing to know your intentions

click to expand

I told him I wanted to get to know him better and I want to be someone he'd want to talk to at the end of the day... but he didn't really say yes or no.... well, he did say no to the idea of me staying with him in summer so I decided to let him be...

We haven't talked for almost a week now and I began to feel very obssessed =.=
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by d0s3r
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by d0s3r
Posted by whatisthisallabout
but it is not right/unhealthy if I am not in love with the person but just want to own this person, right?
i hope this isn't about the pisces/cap venus?


I am LOL I just feel so crazy about him (=can't stop thinking about him and wanting him to be mine) but I know I don't know him enough to be in love with him... and I feel our interactions can be cute and friendly, but they remain at the superficial level. I dont really know him. =.=
GOD dxp is a waste of my damn time

you don't deserve the man's love

fuck scorpios

go get a pet if you wanna own

love isn't a test of power

there's bdsm for that
click to expand

I just don't like things to be in between. It drives me nuts.

I told him I want to get to know him better but I don't get a clear answer.
Profile picture of Gemitati
Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Infinite8
I've only need fully obsessed once in my life (as a young teenager), with my first boyfriend (Pisces) and I got obsessed as soon as I realized our relationship was under threat.

The experience was so awful that the experience itself made me turned off to ever want to behave that way again.


What did you end up doing to rise above the situation? 😕
Are you trolling?
I wish lol
click to expand

So if you aren't - pm me! I am old wise witch! I know all about obsession and Scorpios!!!
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
its just obsession, believe me i know
How was/is it like for you?

I am so confused. I want this guy to be mine, but I am not sure if I just like the idea of making him mine....
exactly like that
Damn, how do you cope though? lol
By knowing I'm playing myself
click to expand

Thanks, I guess I at least have this realization.
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Vageenka
Well I think if you're obsessed then clearly you have feelings for them. You're probably not in love but you definitely like the person
I do like the person, and you are right about me not being in love with the person yet.

I feel this is so unhealthy though because I really want to make this person mine 😆

Get em ??


Hahaha, have you done that before? Do you remain obssessed with the person once you've got him?

Yes I have. And I was obsessed for 4 years after we broke up ?


WOW. You were obssessed for another 4 years afterwards!!??

Was it worth it though?

Now I am scared what'd happen even if I successfully made him mine but then it didn't work out after a while.... It'd suck really bad if I remain obssessed for years afterwards!!!!

Well to be fair I am a very obsessive/addictive person. I obsessed about things as a child for years, obsessed about other stuff later on in life, I am very obsessive lol.

And no, he was not worth it. But the lesson totally was x

click to expand

It's good that at least you got something out of it 🙂
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Infinite8
I've only need fully obsessed once in my life (as a young teenager), with my first boyfriend (Pisces) and I got obsessed as soon as I realized our relationship was under threat.

The experience was so awful that the experience itself made me turned off to ever want to behave that way again.


What did you end up doing to rise above the situation? 😕
Are you trolling?
I wish lol
So if you aren't - pm me! I am old wise witch! I know all about obsession and Scorpios!!!
click to expand

You've got a cure for that? 😕
Profile picture of Gemitati
Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Vageenka
Well I think if you're obsessed then clearly you have feelings for them. You're probably not in love but you definitely like the person
Isn't it depends on smell or size or something else I forgot you mentioned?

The D wasn't even good... ? And his libido was waaaay lower than mine

But it was hairy so yeah ?

click to expand

Is D member of our disfuncrional society?
Profile picture of Gemitati
Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Infinite8
I've only need fully obsessed once in my life (as a young teenager), with my first boyfriend (Pisces) and I got obsessed as soon as I realized our relationship was under threat.

The experience was so awful that the experience itself made me turned off to ever want to behave that way again.


What did you end up doing to rise above the situation? 😕
Are you trolling?
I wish lol
So if you aren't - pm me! I am old wise witch! I know all about obsession and Scorpios!!!
You've got a cure for that? 😕
click to expand

There is a cure!

Vodka straight up shot after shot!

Hangover...

2 days no worry about obsession.

Do you have a job?

If your job on the way- quit it!

Alcoholism is curing all obsessions...well...except for alcohol

But it's cheaper than drugs!

Agree?

Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Infinite8
I've only need fully obsessed once in my life (as a young teenager), with my first boyfriend (Pisces) and I got obsessed as soon as I realized our relationship was under threat.

The experience was so awful that the experience itself made me turned off to ever want to behave that way again.


What did you end up doing to rise above the situation? 😕
Are you trolling?
I wish lol
So if you aren't - pm me! I am old wise witch! I know all about obsession and Scorpios!!!
You've got a cure for that? 😕
There is a cure!

Vodka straight up shot after shot!

Hangover...

2 days no worry about obsession.

Do you have a job?

If your job on the way- quit it!

Alcoholism is curing all obsessions...well...except for alcohol

But it's cheaper than drugs!

Agree?

click to expand

I don't drink though =.=
Profile picture of Gemitati
Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by Infinite8
I've only need fully obsessed once in my life (as a young teenager), with my first boyfriend (Pisces) and I got obsessed as soon as I realized our relationship was under threat.

The experience was so awful that the experience itself made me turned off to ever want to behave that way again.


What did you end up doing to rise above the situation? 😕
Are you trolling?
I wish lol
So if you aren't - pm me! I am old wise witch! I know all about obsession and Scorpios!!!
You've got a cure for that? 😕
There is a cure!

Vodka straight up shot after shot!

Hangover...

2 days no worry about obsession.

Do you have a job?

If your job on the way- quit it!

Alcoholism is curing all obsessions...well...except for alcohol

But it's cheaper than drugs!

Agree?


I don't drink though =.=
click to expand

You don't have to 'think' ...
Profile picture of venusSag30
venusSag30
@venusSag30
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 35 · Topics: 3
Hell I'm a capricorn and I struggle with the exact same issues at times, although the ones I fall for I am usually obsessed with as well I just try to control it/ If I dont be the obssessed one I usually attract guys who exhibit those qualities theirselves . I love hard and I have pluto in scorpio pacement in my natal chart, so I know along with my mars being in aries I am a total mess cause my moon in virgo causes me to over analyzeanything and everything.
Profile picture of Gemitati
Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Vageenka
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Vageenka
Well I think if you're obsessed then clearly you have feelings for them. You're probably not in love but you definitely like the person
Isn't it depends on smell or size or something else I forgot you mentioned?

The D wasn't even good... ? And his libido was waaaay lower than mine

But it was hairy so yeah ?


Is D member of our disfuncrional society?

Yes he's my drug addicted distant cousin x

click to expand

Let's him...what?
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by venusSag30
Hell I'm a capricorn and I struggle with the exact same issues at times, although the ones I fall for I am usually obsessed with as well I just try to control it/ If I dont be the obssessed one I usually attract guys who exhibit those qualities theirselves . I love hard and I have pluto in scorpio pacement in my natal chart, so I know along with my mars being in aries I am a total mess cause my moon in virgo causes me to over analyzeanything and everything.
What you described is totally my life.

I don't know why but I am either obssessed with the guy or I meet people who are very obssessive (and just like you described, usually as long as I am not the one being obssessive, the other person will be).
Profile picture of piscesmoon2
piscesmoon2
@piscesmoon2
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 243 · Posts: 2393 · Topics: 16
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
its just obsession, believe me i know
How was/is it like for you?

I am so confused. I want this guy to be mine, but I am not sure if I just like the idea of making him mine....
click to expand

I say this all the time must be my Pluto in the 8th house for Scorpio... Mars 9th of Scorpio... Saturn too...

I think these days everyone only falls for an idealistic image of a person they really don't know... if he was smarter maybe he is and you don't know it... what if he did not just fall over. These days everyone wants the status or so on... then normally the manipulation starts for each to in poses there ideas or dislikes about the other person to get them to change. If people would actually have conversations with out judgment or expectation a lot of broke hearts would be saved. It is often the fear of rejection that controls people. Fear and so on...

Piscesmoon
Profile picture of piscesmoon2
piscesmoon2
@piscesmoon2
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 243 · Posts: 2393 · Topics: 16
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by d0s3r
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by d0s3r
Posted by whatisthisallabout
but it is not right/unhealthy if I am not in love with the person but just want to own this person, right?
i hope this isn't about the pisces/cap venus?


I am LOL I just feel so crazy about him (=can't stop thinking about him and wanting him to be mine) but I know I don't know him enough to be in love with him... and I feel our interactions can be cute and friendly, but they remain at the superficial level. I dont really know him. =.=
GOD dxp is a waste of my damn time

you don't deserve the man's love

fuck scorpios

go get a pet if you wanna own

love isn't a test of power

there's bdsm for that
I just don't like things to be in between. It drives me nuts.

I told him I want to get to know him better but I don't get a clear answer.
click to expand

This would be a red flag to me... may mean the biological clock is ticking or maybe just because you are ready for something does not mean they are... the idea of a relationship may tempt someone to also play you. Exposed your cards to fast... there is no reason you should not be able to get to know each other better.

Piscesmoon

Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by piscesmoon2
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by d0s3r
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by d0s3r
Posted by whatisthisallabout
but it is not right/unhealthy if I am not in love with the person but just want to own this person, right?
i hope this isn't about the pisces/cap venus?


I am LOL I just feel so crazy about him (=can't stop thinking about him and wanting him to be mine) but I know I don't know him enough to be in love with him... and I feel our interactions can be cute and friendly, but they remain at the superficial level. I dont really know him. =.=
GOD dxp is a waste of my damn time

you don't deserve the man's love

fuck scorpios

go get a pet if you wanna own

love isn't a test of power

there's bdsm for that
I just don't like things to be in between. It drives me nuts.

I told him I want to get to know him better but I don't get a clear answer.
This would be a red flag to me... may mean the biological clock is ticking or maybe just because you are ready for something does not mean they are... the idea of a relationship may tempt someone to also play you. Exposed your cards to fast... there is no reason you should not be able to get to know each other better.

Piscesmoon

click to expand

I met him last March actually so it's been about a year now.

When we were talking, he only texted me once a week, or if when he wanted to hang out.

Thus, I still feel I barely know him after a year.

I told him I want us to talk on a regular basis recently, but he just told me thanks for sharing.

I have to admit that I have become very impatient.
Profile picture of whatisthisallabout
whatisthisallabout
@whatisthisallabout
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 41 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 41
Posted by piscesmoon2
Posted by whatisthisallabout
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
its just obsession, believe me i know
How was/is it like for you?

I am so confused. I want this guy to be mine, but I am not sure if I just like the idea of making him mine....
I say this all the time must be my Pluto in the 8th house for Scorpio... Mars 9th of Scorpio... Saturn too...

I think these days everyone only falls for an idealistic image of a person they really don't know... if he was smarter maybe he is and you don't know it... what if he did not just fall over. These days everyone wants the status or so on... then normally the manipulation starts for each to in poses there ideas or dislikes about the other person to get them to change. If people would actually have conversations with out judgment or expectation a lot of broke hearts would be saved. It is often the fear of rejection that controls people. Fear and so on...

Piscesmoon
click to expand

I think maybe the idealistic image thing is true.

Maybe he doesn't want me to get to know the real him, so I always only get to see him when things are perfect for him.
Profile picture of SassyKiwi
Un petit pamplemousse
@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1478 · Posts: 6970 · Topics: 126
Posted by Ellygant
Brrrrrr. That seems very cold to read. Do you realize that? Is it hard to see because of how obsessed you feel?

That's how I break my obsession. Find ways in which the person isn't an object of worship but just like everyone else. It sounds weird, but you need to humanize them, go looking for their bad qualities. One of the few times Scorpio overanalysis comes in handy. Once they become just as normal as everyone else they won't occupy so much of your mind.

Obsession is often when you love the idea or the way they make you feel more than the person.

Pshhh nah uh

Like every time they say they need to nap I want to be like "I volunteer to be ur body pillow" all for their comfort and enhanced napping experience duh and then when we hug I don't want to let them go ever bc THEY will get cold which nobody would want u know its not a good feeling I am just looking out
First
Previous
Next
Last