Is it okay to recant the "L" word?

Can you take it back once it's been said?

What if both partners agree it was said too soon ?

Quick back story: My bf and I said it super early into the relationship. Recently we have been having a blast together and he has been very "loving" toward me but hasn't said "I love you" in a few weeks (I haven't either) last night he said "in like you alott" and I saI'd "do you love me?" And he said "honestly that's something that is going to come with time. I know I said it earlier on in the relationship but that was chemicals and lust talking " I agreed with him.

We both still want to be in the relationship and let the love grow. Like I said we are having a blast and do very loving and caring things for each other. We just aren't putting the pressure of the "L" word on us.

Is that okay to take it back? I think it's mature that we both agreed ed it was premature to say it when we did. Or is this a sign of the end?

Opinions?

Posted by HoovesofTopaz
Seems he already indirectly addressed it and feels the same way as you. Did he offend you by saying that? How exactly are you going to go about “taking it back”? What’s the point? Just don’t say it again until you’re ready.

No I wasn't offended. I felt relieved. When we into ally said it we meant it at the time in a lustful loving way doped up on hormones and chemicals.. And perhaps recant was the wrong word, we are just going to make sure the next time either one of us say it, it's forreal.

We have only been together 3 months. ..we have plenty of time.

Posted by Boots1313
Can you take it back once it's been said?

What if both partners agree it was said too soon ?

Quick back story: My bf and I said it super early into the relationship. Recently we have been having a blast together and he has been very "loving" toward me but hasn't said "I love you" in a few weeks (I haven't either) last night he said "in like you alott" and I saI'd "do you love me?" And he said "honestly that's something that is going to come with time. I know I said it earlier on in the relationship but that was chemicals and lust talking " I agreed with him.
We both still want to be in the relationship and let the love grow. Like I said we are having a blast and do very loving and caring things for each other. We just aren't putting the pressure of the "L" word on us.

Is that okay to take it back? I think it's mature that we both agreed ed it was premature to say it when we did. Or is this a sign of the end?
Opinions?

the main thing is how you both feel in the relationship. you're both happy to at the point were you are and that's all that matters. i think people should enjoy the process instead of racing towards some perceived finish line.

Posted by ufo
in the end people who don't love you can say i love you easily

actions are better I think

I agree and that's why I'm not freaking out. I still feel very connected to hum and our relationship is growing stronger bUT we rushed into saying it and both of us realized it.

I know it will come, but for now we are just enjoying eachother

Posted by RooSagicorn
How long have you been together? Love changes and grows as a relationship goes on. Real love takes a long time But actions are the real indicator. I’d much rather see the actions than hear the words. But ya know that comes from someone who was in a really long term relationship and saying I love you can become a habit too. So yeah actions.

See that's the thing habits. I didn't wanna fall into the habit of saying it just to say it that's why I was kind of relieved we only spoke about it and. I think agreed it wasMt real love...yet.

My ex and I were together 5 years, and when we broke up he said he's unsure he ever "really loved me" and that hurt deeply.

So love definitely has be guarded. This is the first guy I have felt a real connection with in sometime.

Posted by jeane

Posted by Boots1313
Can you take it back once it's been said?

What if both partners agree it was said too soon ?

Quick back story: My bf and I said it super early into the relationship. Recently we have been having a blast together and he has been very "loving" toward me but hasn't said "I love you" in a few weeks (I haven't either) last night he said "in like you alott" and I saI'd "do you love me?" And he said "honestly that's something that is going to come with time. I know I said it earlier on in the relationship but that was chemicals and lust talking " I agreed with him.
We both still want to be in the relationship and let the love grow. Like I said we are having a blast and do very loving and caring things for each other. We just aren't putting the pressure of the "L" word on us.

Is that okay to take it back? I think it's mature that we both agreed ed it was premature to say it when we did. Or is this a sign of the end?
Opinions?

the main thing is how you both feel in the relationship. you're both happy to at the point were you are and that's all that matters. i think people should enjoy the process instead of racing towards some perceived finish line. click to expand

click to expand

I've recently adapted that thought...I have to remind myself "what's the rush?"

Except for me it's biological. ..but in all honestly what will happen will happen. I'm trying to relinquish control and learn to go with the flow more (fixed sign issues ha)

It’s just words. More importantly your both on the same page.

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by jeane

Posted by Boots1313
Can you take it back once it's been said?

What if both partners agree it was said too soon ?

Quick back story: My bf and I said it super early into the relationship. Recently we have been having a blast together and he has been very "loving" toward me but hasn't said "I love you" in a few weeks (I haven't either) last night he said "in like you alott" and I saI'd "do you love me?" And he said "honestly that's something that is going to come with time. I know I said it earlier on in the relationship but that was chemicals and lust talking " I agreed with him.
We both still want to be in the relationship and let the love grow. Like I said we are having a blast and do very loving and caring things for each other. We just aren't putting the pressure of the "L" word on us.

Is that okay to take it back? I think it's mature that we both agreed ed it was premature to say it when we did. Or is this a sign of the end?
Opinions?

the main thing is how you both feel in the relationship. you're both happy to at the point were you are and that's all that matters. i think people should enjoy the process instead of racing towards some perceived finish line. click to expand

I've recently adapted that thought...I have to remind myself "what's the rush?"

Except for me it's biological. ..but in all honestly what will happen will happen. I'm trying to relinquish control and learn to go with the flow more (fixed sign issues ha) click to expand

click to expand

sounds healthy. you could rush to have a kid and then be stuck in a miserable relationship and tied to a screaming brat or break up and you are left to juggle co-parenting with a person you actively dislike.

better to make sure all your ducks are in a row to give your child the best possible outcome. you're doing the work now for what will pay in dividends later.



keep in mind that you're both still a steaming pile of chemicals at the moment. no one's making rational decisions at this stage and certainly it's not the time to be thinking about life long and life changing goals.

anyway how old are you?

I'm okay with the situation as a whole. I was just curious if this has happen to anyone else.

I think often times someone says it too soon. Didn't mean it fully and then it just becomes habit. Maybe eventually they mean it , but I've seen many couples who just say " I love you" over and over again and it has no depth and holds no meaning.

Actions definitely speak louder than words.

Posted by HoovesofTopaz

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by HoovesofTopaz
Seems he already indirectly addressed it and feels the same way as you. Did he offend you by saying that? How exactly are you going to go about “taking it back”? What’s the point? Just don’t say it again until you’re ready.

No I wasn't offended. I felt relieved. When we into ally said it we meant it at the time in a lustful loving way doped up on hormones and chemicals.. And perhaps recant was the wrong word, we are just going to make sure the next time either one of us say it, it's forreal.

We have only been together 3 months. ..we have plenty of time. click to expand

You definitely have plenty of time! Just enjoy each others company and be happy click to expand

click to expand

Thank you

Posted by jeane

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by jeane

Posted by Boots1313
Can you take it back once it's been said?

What if both partners agree it was said too soon ?

Quick back story: My bf and I said it super early into the relationship. Recently we have been having a blast together and he has been very "loving" toward me but hasn't said "I love you" in a few weeks (I haven't either) last night he said "in like you alott" and I saI'd "do you love me?" And he said "honestly that's something that is going to come with time. I know I said it earlier on in the relationship but that was chemicals and lust talking " I agreed with him.
We both still want to be in the relationship and let the love grow. Like I said we are having a blast and do very loving and caring things for each other. We just aren't putting the pressure of the "L" word on us.

Is that okay to take it back? I think it's mature that we both agreed ed it was premature to say it when we did. Or is this a sign of the end?
Opinions?

the main thing is how you both feel in the relationship. you're both happy to at the point were you are and that's all that matters. i think people should enjoy the process instead of racing towards some perceived finish line. click to expand

I've recently adapted that thought...I have to remind myself "what's the rush?"

Except for me it's biological. ..but in all honestly what will happen will happen. I'm trying to relinquish control and learn to go with the flow more (fixed sign issues ha) click to expand

sounds healthy. you could rush to have a kid and then be stuck in a miserable relationship and tied to a screaming brat or break up and you are left to juggle co-parenting with a person you actively dislike.

better to make sure all your ducks are in a row to give your child the best possible outcome. you're doing the work now for what will pay in dividends later.

keep in mind that you're both still a steaming pile of chemicals at the moment. no one's making rational decisions at this stage and certainly it's not the time to be thinking about life long and life changing goals.

anyway how old are you? click to expand

click to expand

Yes and I think we are both very real and rational so we realized that we were doped up on chemicals prior. We certainly feel a level of care and affection toward each other and love to an extent just not that real solid love.

We have both been in long term relationships before so it's not our first rodeo.

I just turned 30 he just turned 28.

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by jeane

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by jeane

Posted by Boots1313
Can you take it back once it's been said?

What if both partners agree it was said too soon ?

Quick back story: My bf and I said it super early into the relationship. Recently we have been having a blast together and he has been very "loving" toward me but hasn't said "I love you" in a few weeks (I haven't either) last night he said "in like you alott" and I saI'd "do you love me?" And he said "honestly that's something that is going to come with time. I know I said it earlier on in the relationship but that was chemicals and lust talking " I agreed with him.
We both still want to be in the relationship and let the love grow. Like I said we are having a blast and do very loving and caring things for each other. We just aren't putting the pressure of the "L" word on us.

Is that okay to take it back? I think it's mature that we both agreed ed it was premature to say it when we did. Or is this a sign of the end?
Opinions?

the main thing is how you both feel in the relationship. you're both happy to at the point were you are and that's all that matters. i think people should enjoy the process instead of racing towards some perceived finish line. click to expand

I've recently adapted that thought...I have to remind myself "what's the rush?"

Except for me it's biological. ..but in all honestly what will happen will happen. I'm trying to relinquish control and learn to go with the flow more (fixed sign issues ha) click to expand

sounds healthy. you could rush to have a kid and then be stuck in a miserable relationship and tied to a screaming brat or break up and you are left to juggle co-parenting with a person you actively dislike.

better to make sure all your ducks are in a row to give your child the best possible outcome. you're doing the work now for what will pay in dividends later.

keep in mind that you're both still a steaming pile of chemicals at the moment. no one's making rational decisions at this stage and certainly it's not the time to be thinking about life long and life changing goals.

anyway how old are you? click to expand

Yes and I think we are both very real and rational so we realized that we were doped up on chemicals prior. We certainly feel a level of care and affection toward each other and love to an extent just not that real solid love.

We have both been in long term relationships before so it's not our first rodeo.

I just turned 30 he just turned 28. click to expand

click to expand

psh, 30. worry when you are 45. 🙂

Posted by Boots1313
Can you take it back once it's been said?

I saI'd "do you love me?" And he said "honestly that's something that is going to come with time. I know I said it earlier on in the relationship but that was chemicals and lust talking " I agreed with him.

lol his words. Honestly more than saying it do you feel it. Ultimately saying it 100 times does not mean anything if you don't trust his love. Give it time to grow and see.